20: Earthquakes Asteroids Zombies: Predictions of Nostradamus
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Hey, it's your buddy AJ from the Y-Files. And Hecklefish. Right, and Hecklefish. We just wanted to tell you that if you want to start a podcast, Spotify makes it easy. It'd have to be easy for humans to understand it. Will you stop that? I'm just saying. Spotify for Podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts from your computer. I don't have a computer. Do you have a phone? Of course I have a phone. I'm not a savage. Well, with Spotify, you can record podcasts from your phone, too.

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How was 2020 for you? Super fun, right? Well, if you believe the predictions of Nostradamus and you enjoyed 2020, you're going to love what happens next. Today, we're going to cover his famous prophecies of the past and what's in store for the future. So grab your magic mirror, your tinfoil hat and your anti-zombie spray because we got a wild one.

Welcome to the Y-Files, where cool nerds laugh and learn. So you thought things couldn't get any worse, huh? Things can always get worse. They certainly can. And Nostradamus says they will. While many astrologers, seers, and mystics are predicting a hopeful future, if you believe Nostradamus, you better start kissing your mommies and saying your goodbyes. He predicted that 2020 would be a great trouble for humanity. And well, that was true. But he

But he also says a greater trouble is coming, and that greater trouble is supposed to take the form of a global famine. According to Nostradamus, the famine will be the worst the world has ever faced and will ultimately end in a disruption of social hierarchies and state power. Now, this prediction does have some merit based on what's happening in the world right now. The pandemic has already forced millions of people to food banks and depleted food supplies around the world. Even the United Nations warned that we are looking at famines of biblical proportions.

Those are the UN's words. Now, I'm not a religious scholar, but whenever something is described in biblical proportions, it's never good news. And why are the super rich buying up all the farmland? They are. Oh, wake up, will you? We need to look into that.

So what else is coming our way? Well, Nostradamus predicted solar storms will take place, causing major damage to the Earth. We shall see the water rising and the Earth falling under it. Then he predicts a comet or asteroid will hit the Earth or come very close to striking the planet. And this event will cause earthquakes and other natural disasters. In the sky, one sees fire and a long trail of sparks.

Now, FYI, we did have some pretty close calls with asteroids the past year. And NASA's automated asteroid watching system called Sentry is currently tracking asteroid 2009 JF1. And JF1 is about 130 meters in diameter. It's about the size of the Great Pyramid of Giza. That would hit the Earth sometime in 2022. And if it does, the impact would measure about 230 kilotons. Now, for perspective, Hiroshima was only about 15 kilotons. So...

Yeah, JF1 is a city killer or worse. And if things weren't bad enough in California, Nostradamus also predicts the state of California will be destroyed by a massive earthquake within the next year. Nostradamus predicted a great calamity that would shake through the new world in the lands of the West, causing it to fall into the ocean. This is thought to be California.

Mercury and Sagittarius, Saturn fading. And the date when Mars and Saturn will be in those exact positions in the sky is Thanksgiving Day, November 25th, 2021. So if you're in California for Thanksgiving, don't fight over drumsticks. Fight over life rafts. You're going to be underwater. Doesn't sound so bad.

And the last prediction is a doozy. Two words: zombie apocalypse. It was just a matter of time. Here's the text. Few young people, half dead to give a start, fathers and mothers, dead of infinite sorrows, women in mourning, the pestilent she-monster, the great one to be no more. Some believe this pestilent she-monster symbolizes a virus or biological weapon that will bring on the apocalypse.

Should we be nervous? How accurate is Nostradamus? Well, some websites say he's been 70% accurate. That's pretty good. So let's look at some of his more famous predictions that came true and learn more about the man. Then we can see if all those headlines are just social media clickbait or all the world to end. Has a Nostradamus prediction ever come true?

Well, it's hard to name some significant global event that he has not predicted. And his predictions go all the way back to when he was still alive. Nostradamus may have accurately predicted the untimely demise of Henry II, King of France, who was only 40 when he died jousting in 1559. The young lion will overcome the older one on the field of combat in a single battle. He will pierce his eyes through a golden cage. Two wounds made one.

Then he dies a cruel death. Let's break down the prediction. The young lion will overcome the older one. Henry was jousting Gabriel Delorge, one of his young soldiers, when he was killed. They both had lions on their shields, and Henry actually wore armor shaped like a lion.

How do we know? Well, Henry's armor is still around. Pierce's eyes were a golden cage. So during the joust, the young lion's lance shattered, driving splinters through the king's visor and into his eyes and skull, creating two wounds. And yes, the armor was gold. As for the cruel death...

Henry was still conscious after his injury. He even got up and walked, though he was a mess. The king experienced seizures, partial paralysis, and despite having the best medical care available at the time, he died in agony of sepsis 11 days later. So creepy? Yeah. Uncanny? I think so. And with that prediction, the legend of Nostradamus was born. How about the Great Fire of London? The blood of the just will commit a fault at London.

Burnt through lightning of 2306, the ancient lady will fall from her high place.

several of the same sect will be killed. Some interpret 23 is the sixth as 66 or 20 times three plus six. This is why it's believed to be a prophecy of the great fire of London in 1666, where thousands of people were killed. As for the same sect, Londoners blame the fire on Catholics. The ancient lady is thought to refer to London itself. Here's one about the French Revolution. From the enslaved populace songs, chants and demands,

While princes and lords are held captive in prisons, these will in the future by headless idiots be received as divine prayers. When the Bastille was stormed in 1789, the French overthrew the monarchy and established a new republic. And the Third Estate or commoners, a.k.a. the enslaved populace, declared nobles to be traitors. We all remember what happened to nobles during the French Revolution. They became headless idiots. Now let's get more current.

Many believe Nostradamus predicted the rise of Hitler. From the depths of the rest of Europe, a young child will be born of poor people. Hitler was born in Austria and came from a lower to middle class family. He who by his tongue will seduce a great troupe.

His fame will increase towards the realm of the East. In his younger days, his military career was undistinguished. He didn't have money or influence, but he did know how to whip up a crowd with a speech. Beasts ferocious with hunger will cross the rivers. He conquered Europe in just a few years and always wanted more. The greatest part of the battlefield will be against history. That's just one letter off.

It's pretty creepy. And greater part of the battlefield? Hitler fought and defeated much bigger armies during his rise. Now, how about the atomic bombs at Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Within two cities, there will be scourges the like of which was never seen. There was never an attack like this before or since. Check's out. Famine within plague.

People put out by steel crying to the great immortal God for relief. - And this is possibly about radiation sickness and the lasting pain of war. And people put out by steel could be the planes which dropped the bombs or buildings collapsing or the cities themselves. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were chosen as targets because they were industrial cities with a lot of factories. They created planes, tanks, cars, ships,

All from Steele. What about the assassination of JFK? The ancient task will be completed from on high. Evil will fall on the great man. Well, depending on who you ask, the order to assassinate JFK came from on high. Yep. A dead innocent will be accused of the deed. Lee Harvey Oswald was accused and killed.

Was he innocent? Obviously. The guilty will remain in the mist. If Lee Harvey Oswald was innocent, that means the guilty did remain. They're still out there. Let's get even more current.

Did Nostradamus see the 9/11 attacks? "Two steel birds will fall from the sky on the metropolis." The steel birds have to be planes. And the metropolis... "New York, check this out." "The sky will burn at 45 degrees." New York is 40 degrees latitude, but that's pretty close. "Fire approaches the great new city.

Immediately, a huge scattered flame leaps up. New York was a new city when Nostradamus was alive and the fire and flames leaping up. Yeah, that happened. Within months, the undead will roam the earth. That sounds like zombies. Now, obviously, there were no zombies after 9/11, but I'm from New York. Every day as a New Yorker, we expected another attack. New Yorkers weren't actual zombies after 9/11, but we acted like them. How about the death of Princess Diana?

Nostradamus has a lot to say about her. The penultimate son of the man with the prophet's name will bring Diana to her dear rest. In 1997, Diana tragically died in a car crash fleeing from paparazzi. Also killed was her boyfriend Dodi Fayed, the second to last son, or penultimate son, of Mohammed Al-Fayed. And Mohammed is indeed the name of a prophet. The rose upon the middle of the world because of new deeds public blood is shed.

Diana was England's rose, and her blood was definitely shed publicly. We all saw it. Her new deeds could be her love affair with Fayyad, which irked the royals. Lots of things irked them. Yeah, I noticed that. Then, at a time of need, the awaited one will come late. Diana spent two hours injured and bleeding in the car before she was taken to the hospital.

They were too late. By the great number of tears shed from top to bottom and from the bottom to the very top. All classes of people grieved her death, from the very rich down to the very poor. A life is lost through a game with too much faith.

Diana was constantly hounded by the paparazzi and her driver, Henri Paul, would often take them on high speed chases. To him, it was a game and she had faith in his game. For the joyful maiden, the bright splendor will shine no more. Indeed. So who was this mythical figure? Well, here's his legendary story. Nostradamus was born Michel de Nostredame in France in 1503, and he led an extraordinary life.

A Jew who converted to Christianity, he inherited his abilities from the Israelite tribe of Issachar. He was educated by his grandfathers, who were doctors in the court of King René of Provence. Nostradamus went to Montpellier in 1521 to study medicine and was so successful that he stayed and became a respected teacher.

After his wife and two children died from the plague, he studied and then became an expert on the disease. He used advanced antiseptics. He recommended a diet low in fat with plenty of exercise. A noted astronomer, he deduced that the planets went around the sun even before Copernicus.

Famous for his prophecies, he was persecuted during the Spanish Inquisition for heresy. He was even placed on the Vatican's Index of Forbidden Books in 1781. Nostradamus adopted a very public religious lifestyle to protect himself. But in private, he continued his mystical pursuits. Once in Italy, he bowed before a young Franciscan friar for no apparent reason. Later, that young friar became the pope. He knew he knew.

His books of prophecies called the centuries are written in codes and anagrams. The book sold so well that Nostradamus became a celebrity in his own time to assist him in writing his predictions. He used a bowl of water, which he called a magic mirror. In fact, in Prestige 141, Nostradamus predicted the date of his own death in 1567. He had himself buried upright so that nobody can walk in his grave.

In fact, when his body was exhumed during the French Revolution, workers were amazed to find him wearing a medallion engraved with that very day's exact date. Whoa. Now, that is a great story. And I've heard it my whole life. And you can read this all over the Internet. It's perfect. The problem is none of it's true. What? Now that we've covered the myths, let's look at the facts. Now, Michel Nostradam did lead an extraordinary life.

But he was not a Jew who converted to Christianity. One of his grandfathers did, but he didn't. He inherited nothing special from the Issachar tribe. He had no grandfathers who were doctors in the royal court or anywhere. He didn't study medicine in Montpellier. He never went there. Definitely didn't teach there. Actually, during that time, he wandered the countryside from 1521 to 1529 and taught himself apothecary. His wife and two children did die from disease, but probably wasn't the plague.

He didn't use antiseptics, as nobody did. And he didn't recommend a low fat diet or exercise, though that's still a good idea. He made no discoveries about the solar system. And his only alleged contact with the Inquisition was an invitation to comment on metallurgy and bronze casting. Being on the Vatican's index of forbidden books sounds pretty badass, but he wasn't on it. He was actually on good terms with the church, which is probably why he was invited to be a guest speaker at Inquisition Con or whatever that was. That kneeling before the young pope story?

Pure fiction never happened. As far as his fame, Nostradamus prophecies were virtually unknown during his lifetime, but he did gain some notoriety from writing cookbooks. I'm sorry. Did you say cookbooks? Cookbooks.

You know, recipes for how to cook a nice piece of fish. Rude. He also wrote almanacs that sold pretty well, but they weren't very accurate. His prophecies were not called the centuries. They were called the prophecies. They were not written in code. They were in rhyming verse. Oh, like Dr. Seuss? Trying to get us canceled?

Nostradamus did not use a bowl of water as his magic mirror when he was writing his prophecies or composing his poems. He used a regular mirror. I'll leave it to you to determine whether it's magic or not. He missed the year of his death by one, although some versions of his writing show the date was later changed, which

probably doesn't count. He was not buried upright and there's no record of any medallion or anything else with a date written anywhere. But the only well-known fact that's true about Nostradamus is that he was a fairly reputable plague doctor, though he admitted himself that he never found any cures or preventative measures that actually worked. You're really deflating my balloon here. I know I felt the same way. Sorry about that. So if the story about his life is mostly myth, what about his predictions? Can they be believed?

Nostradamus remains famous over 400 years after his death for a 1555 book he wrote titled The Prophecies. The book is a collection of over a thousand quatrains, which are four line rhyming verses, which are said to foretell the future. Now, depending on who you believe, Nostradamus has been credited with accurately predicting Hiroshima, Hitler, the space shuttle disaster, the Apollo moon landing, both world wars, the current pandemic.

On and on everything that ever happened. He called it, in fact, good luck finding some significant global event that Nostradamus was not said to have predicted. The truth is nobody has ever used Nostradamus writings to predict a future event. Never one time that ever once. Never.

So why do so many people still believe? Well, for the same reason I wrote this episode and for the same reason you clicked on it. It's fascinating and fun. Nostradamus is a great story, and we never let the facts get in the way of a great story. So what went wrong? Well, the problem with Nostradamus predictions

is how his writing is translated and then interpreted. He wrote in Middle French, and you really can't do a word for word translation into English or even modern French. When his writing is translated, there's a little poetic license required to fill in the gaps. And that's okay. There are certain translations of Dante's Divine Comedy, which was written in vulgar Italian, that are better than other translations. There is a certain creativity to it, but nobody's building bunkers based on Dante.

And if you are awesome and Nostradamus was not really specific about anything, his verses are all symbolism and allegory. You can make any story fit if you want to. When Nostradamus talks about a great lady, does he mean a literal lady or does he mean a country or a city? Well, it depends on what you want the end result of the prophecy to be. It's kind of like reverse engineering the prophecy. You know what event took place. Now you just go back and make the prophecy fit. If you have to be a little creative, so be it. The moment you

The most creative of Nostradamus's interpreters and the one that I first read was also an ardent believer. That was Erica Cheatham. She's best known for reinterpreting Nostradamus's reference to Hister as a reference to Hitler. But Hister was actually a part of the Danube River that Nostradamus knew quite well. And Cheatham adjusted her translations to suit the times. Occasionally, she made future predictions, and when they didn't happen, she'd issue updates of her books with new names and new dates.

First, Nostradamus was talking about Muammar Gaddafi and later changed that to Ayatollah Khomeini and then later changed it to Saddam Hussein. Now, whether this is dishonest or not, is really how you view the subject matter. I think the stories are fascinating and absolutely worthy of study. But every prophecy has to be taken with a whole lot of salt. For instance, most of the quotes I used earlier are

are complete fiction, but I didn't make them up. I found every single one of them on a website claiming that Nostradamus wrote them. He didn't write them. All the 9/11 stuff about steel birds. Nostradamus wrote none of that. Those lines were added after the 9/11 attacks and just became part of the folklore. Even the quatrains about King Henry's death. You know, the prophecy that made him famous. Turns out the young lion lines were added years later.

Look, Michel de Nostredame really was a brilliant man who lived a remarkable life. That's true. He made important contributions to medicine and literature. But was he a prophet? I don't think so. But his predictions, they create clicks. Yeah, sorry about that. So why is it so easy to believe Nostradamus? Well,

Well, through the course of human history, every major event has been connected with some kind of prophecy. In 1000 AD, everyone thought the world was going to end. In 2000, same thing. We called it Y2K, but it was the same psychology. Remember the great Mayan calendar scare of 2012? Same psychology. People look for answers and prophecies because they suggest the disaster couldn't have been avoided. It is part of a larger plan.

And there's comfort in that. The human mind is wired to create order from chaos, to see patterns and connections, even when none really exist, to be in control of our minds and our environment. All the anger you see right now among politicians in the news and definitely on social media, it comes from fear of losing control.

A disease is spreading. The wrong people are in charge. Your sports team lost. You may not have control of those situations and that's stressful and it makes you afraid and it makes you angry. So what prophecies of Nostradamus do I believe? Well, none of them, though, if we all turn into zombies, you can tell me I told you so in the comments. But what I do believe in is the resilience of the human spirit. We've been through harder times than this and we got through them.

We did. Once you strip away our labels, we're just people and we all have fear and we all get angry and that anger has driven us apart. We don't need a prophet to tell us this too shall pass. And when a disaster strikes, it's easier to get through it when people set aside their fear and work together. Easier said than done.

Thanks for hanging out with us today. My name is AJ. That's Hecklefish. This has been the Y-Files. If you had fun or learned anything today, subscribe, like, share, do all that stuff. The algorithm is a Baba Yaga, but with your help, we can defeat her. Baba Yaga. Until next time, be safe, be kind, and know that you are appreciated.