The Abby Howard Interview *emotional*
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Why did you marry me? This has become such a deep interview. You don't have to answer these questions if you don't want to. The greatest gift that this job has given me, being able to work with you and being able to be home with my son and soon to be sons. I did not expect to cry.

- I'm gonna cry. What was the question? - What do you hope to see change in the world? What do you feel is your purpose? When you were a kid, what was your ultimate dream, your ultimate goal in life? Do you like what you do for your job? - Yes and no. - Yes and no? Why yes and no? - I feel like anyone would say that about their occupation though. - What would the yes be? What would the no be?

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You guys, today we have a kind of interesting episode planned. I saw this couple on TikTok. A husband was interviewing his pregnant wife and I was like, you know what? I should do that for a podcast episode. I want to interview Abby as my pregnant wife for a full hour long episode. I've done a lot of research on you. I know a lot about you. So I think this is going to be good.

I'm nervous. Why are you nervous? I don't know. What are you going to ask me about? Nothing crazy. Do you know the answers to these questions already? Actually, no. Like I have like questions that I just like legitimately want to know. Okay. For how you feel about like life. And I want to know how that candy salad tastes that you're eating right now from your baby shower that you just had. Is that pretty delicious? I can visibly see the baby going crazy. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah, because you're eating so much sugar.

Yeah. Can I try some candy salad? Yeah, go for it. This looks delicious. Bella, my friend Bella, threw a shower with my sister-in-law Abby last night. That is so good. And something really cute they had as like one of the many delicious snacks they had was a candy salad, which I'm pretty sure this is the same couple. Josh and Sav.

Wait, Savannah? Yeah, that's her name, Josh and Sav. Josh and Sav on TikTok. She made it. Wasn't it her that made this candy salad while pregnant? I don't really watch TikTok very much, so I don't know. No, I think it was her, and that's where she got this idea to make this candy salad for me. And honestly, it is every pregnant woman's dream. Just sour gummy candy. How are you feeling right now? What way?

like how's your day going how would you say you're feeling like on a scale of one to ten honestly today i feel really stressed dang and why is that there's so much going on and i feel like i don't want to say mom guilt because it's not necessarily guilt it's just mom's sadness where it's like i have to do all these things but i also want to spend time with my baby and we have a short timeline because we're leaving tomorrow for our baby moon and i'm gonna be away from him so watch me cry do you like do you like where your life is at right now i feel high emotions

Hey, that's okay. You're pregnant. That happens. But even if you weren't pregnant, like, it's totally okay to feel those emotions. Wait, is this interview going to be deep? I don't know. Maybe. I don't think I have the capacity. You don't have the capacity today? To have a deep conversation. Well, if I ask a question you don't want to answer, you don't have to answer it. Okay. Do you like what you do for your job? What does it have to do with pregnancy? I don't know. I'm just asking you a question. This is the Abby Howard interview. This isn't even just like... This doesn't have to be pregnancy related. Oh. Yeah. Um...

Yes and no. Yes and no? Why yes and no? I feel like anyone would say that about their occupation, though. Yeah. What would the yes be? What would the no be? I mean, there's... Oh my gosh, my belly's going crazy because of the sugar. I might need to... Yeah. Might need to stop. Oh, that's such a big question. I mean, a surface level response would be like sometimes...

First of all, the good is that I get to work with my husband and I get to work from home and have the flexibility to be with my son. Totally. It's going to be okay. I'm so emotional today because I'm stressed. All my emotions are at the surface. That is by far the greatest gift that this job has given me is being able to work with you and being able to be home with my son and soon to be sons. There is no amount of money that

Could, you know, fit that. There's no price you could put on that, right? Totally. So I feel incredibly grateful for that. Totally. I did not expect to cry. Wow. What was the question? It was, what do you like about your job and what do you not like about your job? That's the part that I love about my job. Also, it is incredibly, it's like a great honor that

We can have connections across the world through this job with people. And it's given us some crazy opportunities that we never would have had otherwise. Totally. Those are the greatest things about it for me. What's the bad side? Yeah. The bad side is that I'm constantly like... It's not that I don't completely...

Like I do care what people think. And so then when there's negativity, it hurts. But more than anything, I feel like I'm always trying to break out of a stereotype. Yeah. Where it's like, oh, you do this for your job, then you must be this, this, and this. And those things usually include like shallow, narcissistic, and superficial probably. Maybe money hungry. Or like I think everything's content. Yeah. Yeah.

that would probably be something that I hate is I'm always like, I always feel like I'm being put into a mold, but I feel like people would probably feel that in many different ways in their own life. Like they're trying to constantly be like, I don't perfectly fit this superficial mold you have for this. Do you enjoy, do you enjoy making content? Oh,

I wouldn't say it's my passion, no. Yeah. I don't know. What is your passion? I don't like my family. Your family's your passion. It's truly my family. Yeah. Like our marriage, my family. I like working out. I like reading. I like traveling. I like being outside. I like baking. I like cooking. Yeah. I honestly like the simple things in life, like laundry, taking care of our house. Like I love our house. I feel so grateful to have it. So like taking care of it is like something that...

I wouldn't say it's a passion, but it's something that fulfills me. So if money wasn't a thing, if you had all of your needs met and like, I don't know, what would you do? Like how would you spend your time? Doing exactly that. Doing exactly that. So baking, what else? So all those things you just mentioned would be things that you'd spend your time on? Yeah, I think there's people in life that are looking for the next thrill and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think that's super cool and exciting. Yeah.

I don't know if it's just the place I'm at in life, but that's not what I'm looking for. Like, I don't want the next thrill. I don't want the next viral moment. I don't want the next, you know, I just, I like, I love the beauty and like the simple moments in life. When does this get so deep? Sorry, I'm just asking questions. Talk about like. I'm just asking questions. I don't know. Working out while pregnant or something.

No, I'm just genuinely curious because like you were having a rough morning today. Yeah, so it's a perfect time to film a podcast. And it sucks because like, well, Abby, you're such a fun person and you're like you're – you're just a fun person and you're genuine and people love that about you and I love that about you. That's why I married you. Like I just – I really like the person that you are and I love the friend that you are. And I think because of the person that you are, you're popular and you're popular online because of the genuine person you are and so –

the thing that we always run into, right? What? Where it's like, it's Matt and Abby online, but like Matt, what would you say? Like you're the motor behind Matt and Abby, like

you made it happen and then I like was part of it but I wasn't like a founder of Mad Navi if that makes sense even though I was the 50% component. Would you say you were just putting up with my hobby? I was a co-star that put up with your hobby and then it became like something that I'm like oh wow this is like a lot bigger than I bargained for. Well that's why I was just like. And so sometimes I'm like holy crap wait I don't know if this is what I wanted. I'm so I was like bummed for you today because like

You had a lot of brand deals that you were trying to knock out today. Well, okay. That's okay. No, no, no. What we're not going to do is have a pity party about the life of an influencer because no one wants to hear that. Yeah. And I don't feel that way. I think I was just stressed about everything I needed to get done before our trip and I wanted to spend time with our son. No, but I did feel pity for you because it's like you didn't like necessarily choose this. Like this-

This whole video creation is my hobby. It's fun for me. My work is my hobby. And for you, that's not necessarily the case. Your work is your work. It's not that I hate it, but my work is my work. And I view it that way. Obviously, it's a very fun job compared...

- Comparatively. - But because you're such a popular, fun person, all these brands wanna work with you. And so then I'm like, crap, I wish I could film these brand deals for Abby, but like, these are Abby's. Like I can't do Abby's voiceover. I can't film and put on a wig and pretend to be Abby. And so that's where today I was just like, man,

Feel for you like it. I just oh my gosh if you feel for me don't feel for me in that capacity feel for me the fact that I'm carrying a large baby and I'm five - honey I mean, it's a it's a lot on your plate. It's a lot on your plate, too To work full-time while you're also pregnant But I mean it could it it's really so good. It's just sometimes things catch up to you and I feel like my threshold for stress is

has been a lot lower pregnant like since having since being pregnant and then also postpartum so it's like for over a year now my threshold for stress has been like pretty minimal probably at 50 capacity well it's funny you just got this like new smart watch that tells you when you're stressed out yeah and so that's actually been really helpful it's been alerting me it's been helpful to see when you are stressed and when you're not stressed because you

Yeah, like a lot of times you'll tell me like, "Man, I'm really stressed out." But like now that your watch is like, oh, I'm like, I'm like, oh, like she's she's not making this up like this. This watch is literally telling her her levels, her heart rate. Everything is stressful. Man, I want to know more about young Abby because what's funny about you is you, I want to say new, even though you're not into the video creation side of stuff as much as I am.

You really got into like almost wanting to be a vlogger, I guess, at a young age. You made these videos. You were so embarrassed with them when we first started dating. Not vlogging. I loved like DIY beauty channels, which was like what was thriving on YouTube at the time. Okay. Back in, this is 2012, 2010. When was this? Probably. I have no idea. And I was probably in like eighth grade, sixth, seventh, eighth grade. Yeah. Middle school.

Um, and so I loved watching these videos and I specifically loved watching like Bath and Body Works hauls. And like, this is me organizing my jewelry. And like, I loved like watching people get ready for the first day of school and packing their book bag. Like I loved videos like that. Yeah. But, um, it was never like a formal, like I'm going to be a vlogger. Like I found one of my mom's old cameras and I like made videos that I never intended to post. Yeah.

And you were so... I never intended for anyone else to see. Because you were so embarrassed for me to see that video. I remember I found the video. Oh my gosh. Well, because people make fun of my voice now, but you should have heard me when I was in sixth grade. Your voice is so cute. Wait, by the way, look at my stress levels. Your stress levels are high, honey. Yes. You're stressed right now? Yeah. What can we do to de-stress you right now? Do we just need to take a few deep breaths? If I do that, I'm going to get emotional again. And breathe out. I don't want to be the girl crying on the internet.

- That is me, honestly. - That's okay. Own it, own it. Own your emotion. You're pregnant. - I'm not ashamed of my emotions. People are always like, this is so weird that you're putting it on the internet. I'm like, it's so weird that crying is not a normal human emotion. I don't know. Anyway, sorry, what was the, okay, so I didn't wanna be a vlogger. Like don't think that 'cause I never wanted anybody else to see them. Even if my own brother saw them, I would have been mortified. - 100%, but I thought it was so interesting that you, for fun,

as like an 11 year old girl yeah we're making these little beauty hauls and beauty reviews and perfume reviews from bath and body works i would save up all my coupons and beg and i knew about the deals from the youtubers really yeah and i would go and on friday nights i'd ask my grandma grandpa to please take me to bath and body works and i would like try to stretch my ten dollars i had

As far as I could get as many little hand sanitizers. I was never aware of that side of YouTube because I was deep into the education side of YouTube. I was learning. Not then, were you? In sixth grade?

In sixth grade is when I started to learn. I started to learn how to make videos from YouTube, from these channels that would educate. And so I didn't even know about the whole like beauty hall, beauty industry on YouTube. And it's funny that that was, that was the side of YouTube that you were on. Yeah. Some of those girls are still making videos now, which is crazy. But why were you so embarrassed for me to see that video? Because we, we had been dating for like six months. Because I never wanted anybody. I mean, now I wouldn't be, but I never.

I never want anybody else to see those. But you were 17. It wasn't like... I don't know. It didn't make sense. But I also was in like deep in the infatuation stage with you. And I was like, I don't know. That was like embarrassing for me for some reason. You thought that anything that wasn't this perfect version or this like, you know... No, I don't know why. That was just like something I held on to still being embarrassed. I don't know. Yeah. And as a kid too, you loved to...

Like what would you say we talked about what you like to do now but like as a kid like what was your favorite thing to do like in the whole world? I mean act, dance, hang out with my friends. Dancing. When did you when did you start dance? Wasn't that when you were like three? I was three. That's crazy. Yeah. And so from three till 19. In college when we took college ballet together that's 16 years of dance. I know I would literally be in my room I would shut the door and I would just read monologue books.

No way. And try to like practice monologues. Yeah. I never did that. I would dance in my basement. Yeah. Monologue. Why did you get into monologue books? Because acting was like my favorite. So I would pretend that I was like auditioning for a big TV show or a big movie and like. And that for you was in front of dance as far as the order of things. You cared about acting more than dance. Yes. I like loved acting. How old were you when you were reading monologue books? Probably starting in like sixth grade.

Honestly, earlier because it really started – I like love to read and I would read out loud. And so I would read as if I was like, I don't know, doing like a script reading. Yeah. And by myself in my room. Like my whole family knew that I would do that. They would like –

They'd be like, someone would think I was on the phone. They'd be like, no, Abby's just reading to herself in her room. Did your family get annoyed with you reading out loud? In the car, yeah. They definitely did in the car. How long would you- Like, they'd be like, ugh, my mom. And I would be like, just let her. Just let her. How long would this go on for? Would this be like a 10 minute thing in the car? Or would you just read out loud for like 45 minutes? If we were driving to Florida, I would take as many hours as they would give me. Seriously? I like loved reading out loud. I still love reading out loud. That's why I love reading to Griffin.

I will say in the seven years we've been together, I rarely have heard you without like with you losing your voice. And I feel like it's because you read out loud so much as a kid. Your voice just strengthened itself. Really? I feel like I lose my voice a lot. Really? Yeah.

I don't have a very strong voice. I read out loud to you on car rides. Oh yeah, you do. Sometimes, not as much anymore. I know because you've gone on a long car ride really since Griffin, except for to Tahoe and I did read to you then. You got into speaking when you were a kid too. I know like you were, I think you were buddy-buddy with the mayor of your town. You would do these speaking engagements back in the day. Why did you do that? Why did you get into that?

Here's the thing is that theater made me better at speaking. And so then my mom was always like, she always pushed me to do things that were outside of my comfort zone and to like be independent and to like learn adult skills. Like she was never one, like I had to order at the restaurants since I was able to speak. Like it wasn't like she was going to speak for me or like anything like that. She like taught me independence. And then also with that, she taught me like just to have like adult like skills. And so she, that came with public speaking and,

Obviously, I wasn't a kid being like, hello, Mr. Mayor. Like, what can I do? But like, it was just because I don't even know. One thing led to another with my mom like being like, oh, Abby could do that. Like,

It's really cool that your mom had you order at restaurants and take a grocery cart when you were what? Yes. Were you seven? Would you be like seven? I was super little. No, like younger than that. Younger than seven getting groceries at the grocery store? She was there. But she would give me – and she would honestly be probably the next row over like spying over. Like she wouldn't leave me unattended. But she would split the list and so the things that were like –

on one side of the grocery store and probably within reach for me. She would give me my own like little list and I had my own little shopping cart and she...

Like would keep an eye on me, but I didn't know that. I thought I was being independent and like taught me how to grocery shop. And this was a small town. So did you see the same people every time you went to the store? Like were you pretty? Not every time, but I mean, I knew they would be rare that we would go into a public place and not know somebody. How many people were in your town when you grew up?

it's actually 40 000 which isn't that small yeah i feel like well it just has small town vibes because there's no town around it for like the next no large town or even similar size to quincy

For the next like hour and a half, two hours. I thought it was so funny when I met you. I thought, I just assumed that you had, I don't know, done more like country things. Like I had assumed that maybe you had shot a shotgun at one point. See, that's what I always tell you. But you lived next to a cornfield. And I'm like, if you're living next to- Rural is different than country. So interesting to me. And it was rural, but it wasn't country.

So would you say I'm a city boy then if I grew up? One thousand percent. Yeah. You grew up in St. Louis County. Yeah. But I did have a grandpa that had a farm and that's where I would had shot a shotgun. We'd shot like clay targets and stuff on his land. But so you played country boy on. I guess I did. Yeah. Every other month or so we'd go see my grandpa. No. Yeah. I would never say that I was.

country at all. When you were a kid, like what was your, what was your ultimate dream, your ultimate goal in life? To be an actress. But was it, was it Broadway? Was it movies? Was it both? Broadway. You really wanted Broadway. I did, but I think that I just had never explored. I mean, there was no opportunity for anything on film or anything. And there really wasn't beyond community theater that there was no, um,

for any like higher level performance, I guess. I went to one of your community. I went to actually a couple of the community theater shows in Quincy, Illinois, and they were good. Yeah. I was impressed because like coming from a big city, I had never done much community theater before.

And in my mind, they just, I don't know. I didn't really have an opinion on it or know what it would look like. Maybe that was because there was professional theaters. Yeah. Or like regional theaters then. And so like everyone did this.

You know what I mean? Like, as, like, the higher, you know, the people that had more experience were probably doing, like, the higher levels. But this was the highest level in Quincy. So. Yeah. They had really good shows. Oh, totally. Yeah. And you were very, very talented. A lot of passion. And I think that I specifically, like, love community theater because, like, everyone is just doing it out of pure passion. Well, that's what's interesting about you is because, like, as we started to do social media, I...

Even though I'd been a theater kid, I'd grown up doing theater and I'd love to perform. For me, I still got to use that creative side of my brain on the social media side. But for you, even though you're creative at heart, part of you, it seemed still really missed that the stage really missed. Oh, it's nothing like in my mind because it's the collaboration is not really existent. It's not the same thing. And then the live audience is just like so exhilarating and

And also you're playing a part whereas like such many of us are being ourselves. Something I thought was remarkable is you could remember lines like nobody else I ever met. Really? You could read a script like, I don't know. Do you know a line I still remember?

Yes, the one from Peter and the Starcatcher. That was, I think, the first show that I saw you in. My brain can't forget it. I can't remember simple words. What did you, in Peter and the Starcatcher, you played Wendy, right? Or Freak? Molly. Molly. Molly. Is Wendy even in the show? No. Okay, I'm so sorry. But now I'm questioning myself. Was it Molly? I think it was Molly Astor, right? Molly Astor, yeah. That was your character in the show. Yeah.

What was that line? I want to see you perform again, Abby. I want to. I do. I mean, all that obviously is on the back burner while we at least have little, little kids. Yeah.

In some capacity in my future, I will probably do that again. You're so good at it though. Like you're so, so good at it. Here's the thing about it. I love it, but my life will not be fulfilled by doing that ever again, you know? Yeah. Oh, really? So like you can never... No, I can have a complete full life without doing it again. Yeah. And when did you realize that though? Like that's a big change. I know. Because I feel like you would have never said that probably prior to meeting me, I guess? No, yeah. I think just growing into...

marriage and our family like and also getting to see the world I was like there's so much out there like yeah I don't know I feel like my perspective changed a lot and for a lot of people it does like and at that exact same time you know from going from your teens to your 20s yeah so much life change happened then it's insane I feel like I've lived so much life in that amount of time that it like did change me um we've been together seven years and I'm curious like what do you think your life would look like

right now if we hadn't have met or we hadn't gosh well first of all i would not be on the internet no but what would you be doing i have no clue what do you think like do you think you'd be in new york right now being on broadway like i truly believe that you have the skill and the talent to do it you're a very very good actress well thank you i think that right honestly i think that if i were to be doing something i probably would have fallen into film and tv really

In some capacity because I can't sing and it's very hard for actors that do live performance to make a career out of that. That's true. I think the money is hard. Like strict actors. Yeah. I feel like you have to do the dancing and the singing. Yeah. My question though is being from a small town and, you know, having to either like move to really New York or LA, would you have been able to do that? Probably not. I think...

I mean, I definitely would have gone to college where I went to college, I think. Yeah. Even if you hadn't gone, probably. And then... Why is that? Why were you so prone to Missouri State?

Because I think it would have been too hard for me to just up and leave. Also, it honestly wouldn't have been safe. Think about it. I had grown up in such a small town. And then for me to be an 18-year-old in L.A. or New York City, that would have honestly been unsafe because I would not have known. That's what kids do, though. Isn't that crazy that there's kids that just pick up and leave? Even younger than that, there's kids that leave home at 16.

That's terrifying. I had also no street knowledge, so... Yeah, either did I. I would have been a completely susceptible... I mean, freshman year together was where I really became independent. We grew up together. We figured out how to be adults together.

Yeah, I think that I probably would have shifted gears in college. And just gone to probably teaching because that's what your mom did, what your grandma did. Probably. Yeah. And you're very good at that too. You're honestly very good at a lot of things. I think I probably would have switched gears and gone into teaching. What was your rank in school? Weren't you seventh in your class or third in your class? I think I was sixth in that. You were sixth.

Why were you sixth? Like, how did you... Why do you think you were sixth? I think I could have been higher if I didn't do choir. Oh, so choir brought your overall GPA down? It's a game. I wasn't trying to play the game. It's just like when it came to the like...

Looking at my paper, I was like, holy heck. Yeah. I could have actually been not actually though. Well, it's funny like in school, in my school, we didn't have the whole valedictorian thing, but your school did. I mean, it's kind of. Is it going away? I think it's going away. Because it got to be too silly of a game and people were competing. Yeah, because it's like you're not, it gets weird at that point where it's like, oh, I can't do choir because that's going to bring my GPA down. Like, I don't know. Yeah. It's just a game at that point.

We've talked a lot about like dance and acting. You mentioned choir. Do you like singing? Like would you say you don't? No. Just no? I guess I'm so bad at it. You make fun of me all the time. No, I don't. I can't hear harmonies. I can't hear if I go off pitch.

I also have the most limited range. It is funny. And I think it's because my voice is pitched at a weird spot. It's funny. When I sing You Are My Sunshine to sing Griffin to sleep every night, you'll come in and it's always off key. It's always off. You're always flat. Sometimes I feel like I nailed it. Or sharp. No. Sometimes you do come in on pitch, but then within five seconds you go off pitch. It starts to stray. Yeah. Well, see, now I think it's because they've got me in my head. And now I'm like, oh, wait, maybe this is wrong.

Isn't it crazy to think that we are about to, like, our... Oh, my gosh. The day that we're filming this episode, we're literally, like, 10 days away from, like, our seven years since we first started dating. Yeah, we were actively, like, chatting and, like, flirting at this time seven years ago while you were 17 and I... We were both 17. I want to go back. I want to go back, too. And...

I think it it sucks. I live a lot of my life looking forward to the future I get so excited for what the future could be. It's so I don't know I love that I love dreaming and I love thinking about like what the world could look like in the future It's so fun but then I I forget about how special the present moments are and once those moments are gone I look back and then I have that same thought like the reverse thought of man I wish I could go back. I wish I could relive those moments and um

yeah it sucks that you can't there's nothing that you can do to to go back i get more i lean more towards the nostalgic side yeah which is equally dangerous it was interesting i was reading this article about how even if there are times in our life in the past that were like really really hard and challenging we'll still look back on those times and want to go back because there's maybe we'll see a picture a video or something that like was a happy moment we're like oh i just want to go back and

And there's some sort of psychological thing that happens when time passes. We always view the past as like better, you know? Kind of interesting. I like to think it actually was that good though. Yeah. No, there definitely were good times. Definitely, definitely really good times. There are so many good times now too though. Oh, 100%. And you always say the best is yet to come. I do. I think that's true. So...

Why did you marry me? This has become such a deep interview. Sorry, you don't have to answer these questions if you don't want to. Well, I mean, there's a lot of answers to that. Yeah. It all really boils down to I could not, I did not want to imagine a life without you. Slash I couldn't. That's beautiful. Is it? That's really, that's really beautiful. It really, I mean, truly like you were my best friend. You are my best friend.

And well, I guess at the time, I'm talking about specifically like how I knew I wanted to marry you is because at the time, like I just wanted to do everything with you. Well, there was a guy, I know this now, there's a guy that you were going on dates with at the time. Let's not talk about it.

- Can we talk about him? - Okay. Okay, let's talk about... - No, you can talk. I really don't care. - There were guys before that though that you'd gone on dates with. You never dated any of these guys. You never kissed any of these guys. What was it about me that... - Oh, like initially that made me wanna date you? - I guess initially, but just like deeper than that though too. - It's so many reasons. Like I, first of all, thought you were extremely attractive. We've talked about this multiple times. I like always talk to my friends about how cute

I thought you were. But then you made me feel just like excited. Like I felt excited with you, safe with you. I just, I don't know. Something about me is that like I feel like I've never had, I've never like wondered or been wishy-washy about things I've wanted in life. Like even with my ring. Like we always talk about this. Like the first ring I tried on, I like knew that was what I wanted and that was my ring. I wasn't interested in trying on other things. And so it's like, I don't know. I just knew. Yeah.

I don't know. That is interesting. I'm over fairy-tailing it, I guess. But really, it felt so natural to be with you. That's the only thing I can explain is that it just felt natural. Wasn't that initial infatuation that we had just like the craziest wild feeling? Yes. I'll never forget it. It felt like a roller coaster.

Like, the fact that we would literally make out in my parents' basement for literal hours. Why do we always go back to that...

I don't know. I think that's just like – that just kind of shows that we really, really liked each other. And it was silly and we were young. I think it shows that we really liked each other because we like weren't around each other all the time. But we were always talking to each other. We were always talking to each other. We were always facing each other. And that's something that's like really cool about our relationship from the beginning is that it was really all built on conversation. Yeah. Because we didn't – we saw each other maybe –

Once every other week. Well, it was our friendship that made us so close. We are and were really good friends. Yeah. I just think you're so... I think you're so cool.

I really do. I think you're so like for so many reasons. I'm definitely not cool. No, you are cool though. Like you're cool because like you don't give an F what other people think about you. You're cool because you're beautiful. You're cool because you're so smart and got like really good grades. You're cool because you're hilarious and you can make me laugh and you make other people laugh.

And you're cool because you hung out with your grandparents every weekend when you'd go over and spend the night with them and play cards. And your grandma would read you books when you were a kid. You know, you're cool for so many reasons. That's really sweet. That's so nice. Ask people I went to high school with. I wasn't cool at all. I wasn't cool. People thought I was weird. But I cared. But I cared so much. And that's what I like.

That's what I love about you is you don't care and I love that you don't I love that energy I love that energy of just being comfortable in who you are. I definitely care at times Yeah, but like in a healthy amount, you know, there's a healthy amount of caring right? Yeah Otherwise and maybe you actually are a narcissist wait what if you if you like never care then maybe you do err on the side of like Maybe you have a little something Going on. Yeah, um

This is good. I love asking you these questions. Did you write down questions? I did write down some, but I'm kind of just going. We're just seeing where the conversation goes. This is fun. This is fun interviewing you. I like this. It's so weird because it's like it feels like you're not my husband. We're having this conversation. But I am at the same time. Are we pretending to not be married? Maybe. Maybe. You tell me. Hey, you there listening to this podcast. If you could just like and subscribe, it would mean so much. If you're driving right now, don't do it while you're driving. That's not safe. But as soon as you park...

Just do it. When you go to pause the episode, just go ahead and at that same time, just do five stars, subscribe, like it, maybe leave a quick review. They can only do five stars if they're on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. There's something you can do on every platform. Okay. Now they know what to do to make it good. Do your thing on our platform, on your platform to make it good. We'd really appreciate it. Don't do your thing on our platform. What does that mean? I don't want to know.

So we end up getting married. We are in college together. So much is changing. What was the first year of marriage like for you? Like what do you remember? I mean, it was really sweet. We were both doing our own things. And that was the last year that we really did our own separate things. Like during the day, we would each go to our own classes. We had our own jobs. And like that's when I was like nannying and then substitute teaching and

Doing my elementary education classes. You were doing the finance thing. So I think that was honestly our first... Our first year was our only normal year of marriage. What was the best job you had in college and the worst job you had in college? Worst job was the creepy... Oh my gosh. We worked at...

So Matt and I shared a car. I want to fight that dude so bad. Let me tell them the story. Matt and I shared a car and it was literally your brother's car slash your parents' car. Did we go in 50-50 on that? No, no, no. Was that before we combined bank accounts? No, no. I'm talking about the car that your parents, the Camry. Oh.

And so we both need to make money because we want to get married. And but we only had one car and it was really Matt's parents car. And so we were like. It was my brother's car technically. My uncle gave it to my brother. But then I didn't have a car because my parents needed the other car. My mom was driving our truck because money was tight at the time. So my parents needed to take the truck back from me and my brother. So then now my brother and I were sharing the Camry truck.

At college. This was our first semester at college. Yeah. So we got the camera. We didn't make money, but we only had one car. And so we – and I couldn't get a job on campus because those were – they were set aside for other students. And so we had to work at the same place. It was the only thing it boiled down to. And it was really hard to convince –

businesses. Okay, I don't know why I feel like it was so hard to get a job. Yes, I feel like now it's easy to get a job like this. But at that time, it was really hard to get a job working at a restaurant. I think there's a lot of government money that just people take and they can not have to work and just get paid by the government right now because I see job like I see openings for jobs everywhere. And we could not find one. I applied at 10 different places the first week of college because I was so desperate to start making money so that we could get married.

And only one of them accepted me. And that was the business. - You were a great employee. - It was Flame Steakhouse in Springfield. - So we finally convinced them to hire us both at Flame Steakhouse. I applied to be a hostess. I trained as a hostess and then they switched me. They're like, "Oh, we're gonna train you as Expo." Which they basically just like plate the food, make sure everything's good before it goes. 'Cause it was a nicer restaurant before it goes to the customers.

Then they trained me at that for two weeks and they're like, oh, no, actually, we're gonna move you to cocktail downstairs. And there's a lounge downstairs and it's kind of seedy. I didn't quite understand what that meant. Me neither. We were so young and so naive. I was 18. We didn't know what cocktail really was. But here you are, like walking around in like kind of a shorter. I mean, it wasn't. Wait, dude, I was 18. You were 18 working cocktail.

Yes. And so I couldn't drink. I didn't. And I didn't drink. And so I didn't know what was going on. And then they like had me wear a cocktail dress and I had to like go out and buy some. I bought some at Plato's Closet. And it was just a kind of seedier job than I would have ever intentionally taken. Because down there, there would be like guys that were kind of

Not that they were getting sloppy drunk, but they're drinking and they were older and they had money. Like the people that came and they would just kind of be a little bit inappropriate. And I didn't really know what to look for or listen to to be like, that's wrong. Like that's not really cool. And so then and then the manager, he was himself who should have been

I think he ended up getting arrested, right? Taking care of his workers. Yeah. He would, first of all, he did drugs during. He would come to work high. Well, he would do it during shifts too. People told us that he was high during work and we're like, really? And they're like, you know how his eyes are always red? I'm like, oh yeah. He has allergies.

It looks like he has allergies because his eyes are always red. They're like, he's literally high, like on marijuana. Yeah. And so you have to check out to leave and you have to check out with him. Yeah. And we couldn't find him forever. He would be in the alley doing, like, it was like so sketchy and we didn't even know because we were so young and so sheltered. And so anyway, he would be like, you would make a lot more money if you didn't wear tights tonight. Like, tell me to take off my tights under my dress. Yeah. Or he'd be like, you need to find a different dress. Like people, you may, like you get a lot more tips or whatever.

Things like that. And then, I mean, there's, I could go on and on. And then, but we always talk about like the creepiest part was that he would literally before shift, sit at the bar, have a drink and then have me wash table bases of the high top tables down there on all fours. When you were washing these on all fours, was he, was you, were you facing him at all times? No. No.

because that really bothers me like i didn't i didn't really really bad i didn't realize that was going on and the bartender never stopped people like i would literally be like you got harassed you get some guy tried some guys followed me back to the break area and he was like do a 360 i want to see you from every angle and like be super creepy and the bartender just thought it was funny and he'd be like i bet you got a good tip from that table like it was

It was like, I don't want that money. Like that grossed me out and I just like hated that. And it's not that it was like –

I think just looking back on it, I feel protective of my 18-year-old self there. Totally. Because I don't think she knew what was really going on. I feel protective for like young other 18-year-olds now because now that I know that that exists and that's out there. Yeah. I just want people to be careful. Yeah. And I think I was safe, but it was just. Yeah. Nothing ever happened. Yeah. I just didn't want to be subjected to that. Totally. I think I just didn't know. But yeah, that was probably the worst job. Best job?

I mean, substitute teaching was incredibly hard. So I'm not going to say that was like the best job. And honestly, substitute teachers today, teachers in general have like my utmost respect. Substitute teachers, holy heck, like you are incredible. It is exhausting. You don't make a lot of money and you're constantly literally the target of children abusing you. It's so hard and it's so exhausting and you're constantly like just like

Playing improv because you're like, I don't know I got to figure out how they do things and what student can I trust like it's a whole mess So substitute teaching I learned so much. I wouldn't say that's best job. Honestly, the best job I think was working at Bellasinos the pizza shop with you because we were working together. We had so much fun. It wasn't high stress Well, that's when we realized that we wanted to work together. Yes, that's when we we literally said hey if we could ever Own a business or do some sort of job together one day. That would be the ultimate dream and

Yeah. We convinced a pizza shop to hire us together. Because we only had a car. We only had one car. We only had one car, so we left the steakhouse. Well, we actually got fired from the steakhouse. We got fired from the steakhouse because we went home for Christmas break when we were freshmen in high school. And we told them that. Well, they also, the manager got arrested. So I feel like they were just- Yeah, there was a lot. There was a lot that went on.

They just needed an overhaul of that restaurant. But that was kind of devastating though because we relied on that job. Yes, it was very upsetting. We needed that money and it was scary. We came home early from Christmas break after we got fired to then search for a new job and that's where we ended up getting hired by the pizza restaurant. Yes, and it's not like we made a lot of money at the pizza restaurant because it was a brand new restaurant and business was slow.

But it was really fun. Yeah. But good old Bellasinos. We have our regulars. Bellasinos pizzas and grinders. Their food is still so good. On Battlefield Road in Springfield, Missouri. Across from the mall. It is. Their food is so good. That's our restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. So I had a lot of fun working with you there. Last time we went to eat there. Someone did pull a gun on somebody there. Oh, wow. That did happen. We probably shouldn't talk about that. Okay. Okay. That was in the parking lot and that was completely unrelated. It's a completely safe event.

place so it was the bartender oh my gosh okay let's yeah we don't want to okay abby um wow last when we ate at that restaurant we were about to move to hawaii and we were saying goodbye we were saying goodbye to the manager who hired us together and um or the owner yeah blaine and i'm just curious like

We effing moved to Hawaii at 20... Wait, can I say something really sweet? We were both... You had just turned 21. But yeah, what do you want to say? I was going to say, remember that older guy that was like a regular at the pizza restaurant? And he would always try to set us up together? Yeah. And we were already engaged. Yeah. It was so sweet. I love... He'd be like, get over here. He's like, that Matt Howard, I can tell he has eyes for you. Like...

He was so sweet. And then we were already engaged. I remember just like seeing, I thought you looked so cute in your Bellasinos outfit. You had your little t-shirt on. My little apron. That we had to spend $10. We had to pay $10 to buy the t-shirt. And I had to pay $10 for an extra because I was like, if I work two days in a row, I don't have time to wash my shirt. But I didn't want to spend the extra $10 for the t-shirt. So I just kept wearing the same one. You just smelled like BO all the time. I just wore the same one over and over again.

um but that was that was a special time i know i really really like that and i think something that about our first year of our marriage was just like the simplicity of it was beautiful yeah i just i was reading through love notes to each other that we made um when we were first married and they are so sweet like we were so head over heels for each other and um

I love that. I feel like the first year of marriage would be like if I had a word for every year, it would be simplicity. Yeah. Second year adventure because that's when we move. Right. And what's funny, though, is like third year family like it's been so long.

And I look back on that time and I mean, look, the employers that I had at that time, you know, everyone was, I can't complain. Like everyone was so nice, but you know, I worked at McDonald's one summer, didn't really like that. I worked in financial planning and that was okay, but it just wasn't like, it wasn't my passion, you know, like I ultimately wanted to be a business owner myself or creative. And luckily now I get to do both. But, um,

It's interesting how like that I look back on those memories so fondly though and it's because of how excited I was just to come home from work and see you and spend time with you and hang out with you. I just I really really enjoy that first year of marriage. There's a video you made for me is funny. We were celebrating Valentine's Day and that year you decided to like

like plan it yourself and I came home to a surprise. Well we couldn't afford to go out. Yeah we money was tight and so we celebrated at home. We made a homemade pizza, chocolate covered strawberries, we watched a movie. I surprised you with our wedding video which I had just spent about 30 hours editing. But remember I made a YouTube video of it because that was part of your Valentine's Day gift because I knew that you liked making videos. That Valentine's I think it's called like Valentine's Day surprise. It's still on our YouTube channel. It's from like

Oh my gosh, three years ago, four years ago? That was part of the gift. I was like, I'm gonna make a YouTube video because Matt likes making YouTube videos. Well, at the time, I was just hoping to... I was looking for a creative outlet and I was looking for a way to hopefully be able to get paid maybe just like some side money on the side of the financial planning thing.

So that I could like create and have fun, but know that people enjoyed it and people like to watch it. And man, did we have no idea that that was going to completely change, you know, that. Well, you're such a passionate person in general. So, I mean, you're really cut out for this. Thank you. Thank you. That's really kind of you. No matter what you were going to do in life, Matt, I knew this right from right when we started dating, no matter what we were doing, you were going to be one of the best at it.

Thanks. Just because that's like how you roll. Thanks. I feel like you're interviewing me now. Sorry. You're good. Like that's, that's so, so kind. How are those candies? Next question. Next question. As you're downing your candy salad, that looks so good. I guess I'm going to know, like, I don't know. We've talked a lot about your past. We've talked a lot about being married young. I feel like

you know, we kind of documented our life in Hawaii and we documented our move to Arizona. We've documented us having a kid for the first time and we've haven't really posted a lot on our YouTube channel this year. We've, you know, started a new podcast and things have been, you know, changing a lot. We're, we're trying to hopefully like hire people to help us make these videos so that we can have a normal work schedule of nine to five and family time. Cause we're,

that's something that we we crave i don't want to do late nights anymore i want to i want to spend more time with you but now that we've gotten to this point i guess like what what do you what is your hope for the future like with with what we're doing right now with where we're headed like what do you what do you hope to see in the future for for your life okay where i see myself in five years i feel the urge to come up with something whereas like

this might be a boring answer but i just see us investing our time in our family yeah and those we love and like going to our kids soccer games and it's okay hey it's all good i just picture griffin sweaty with his little shit guards and his capri sun and that vision just came up to my and i was like i can't wait for that like for me i'm like that is so exciting so it's like maybe it

one like cares out there like I don't know it's not some elaborate business plan or some like I don't know I don't have like lofty goals that are gonna be like so exciting for other people but I'm just like so excited to see my boys and shin guards and kicking a soccer ball around or heck like doing gymnastics and like he does this for his cartwheel and he's like so like looks to us to see if we saw him and then they're like mom look like forever and

I just like, I just cannot wait to see them grow up and their little personalities. I love to see the world through their eyes. And I love to see... Take them to Disney World? Yeah. Yeah.

You know, my favorite thing in the world. I can't get enough of like coming downstairs after editing or giving notes on. He's so happy to see you. Yes. And he just lights up and it's like, I'm Superman, but I'm just this, I'm just this dude, you know, like, like I'm just a dude. You're not just a dude. But to him, but to him, like I, I'm the coolest person. Yeah. And so, I mean, really the next five years will just be, I can't wait to grow, like,

Yeah. Honestly, grow up with my kids because I still feel like I'm growing up too. Yeah. And I'll be honest, Abby, like, I don't know if I would have had kids at this young of an age. Like, I feel like in my head, I was like, yeah, I'm going to have kids at a young age. But then it came and you were like, wait. But then it came, I'm like, whoa, like, this is so fast. No. But like with you, it just happened. And-

What do you mean it just happened? Well, I mean, I guess we could go back a little bit. But like you were. Oh, like I just wanted to have kids. You weren't doing okay in Hawaii. Like you weren't having the best time there. And I remember like something that you wanted so badly. And I feel like it brought out part of that urge more too. But like you had always wanted to be a mom. And you're like, Matt, I want to be a mom so bad. And I'm like, okay, let's do it. Like let's be parents, you know. Well, we had already, I mean, we talked about it.

- Of course, like I've always wanted to be a dad my whole life, but. - No, but we talked about that timeline too. - But I feel like if you would have said, oh, I'm cool waiting, I'd have been like, okay, sick, let's wait another two years. - Yeah. - I probably would have said that. - Yeah, I just, I don't know. I mean, there are some people that are like, okay with waiting and I think that's totally fine and normal and healthy.

But then I know there's other women like me that was like, oh, that's all I could think about. Like, and I would see other people with their babies and I would just be like, oh, I crave that. Or like I would, I nannied so many little kids and I would just be like, oh, I just want to be with my own child. Are there times, I mean, you're now, you get to spend a lot of time with your son, which is a, which is a cool thing. And a perk of getting to work from home, getting to, you know, many creators work from home is

Um, are there times that you feel alone? Yeah, I think I'm very much a people person. So that's why I like Hawaii was hard for me because, um, we didn't know anybody there. I'm a big community person. Like I need to be around people. And I think that's an element that I miss since we like make videos for a living and it's all, it's pretty independent. It's pretty small operation. Um,

But I think I have also learned like that's part of you know being an adult is like learning how to help yourself I feel like and We set up so many social things throughout our week So totally that's helped me kind of shocked me when we had all of our family visiting. We just had my cousin's visit Yeah, my brother visit. Did you feel like usually I I hear you oftentimes saying I just want to get out of the house I just want to you know, get out see people and

Did you feel the urge to get out of our house when all those people were staying with us and in and out of the house so often? I still like to get out of the house. I mean, I like to be around people and I like to get out. Why do you like to work out so much?

I don't know. You work out. I like to get out of the house. I like to see people. I love doing something hard, like pushing myself, sweating, getting my heart rate up. Like it really helps me feel good, accomplished. Physically, it makes me feel a lot better.

Even when you're pregnant? Yes. I told you Sunday I crashed because I didn't work out Saturday or Sunday. And Sunday I literally felt terrible. Do you feel... And tired. Do you get like a high off the pain? Like the pain of like working really hard? Probably, I guess. Because there's been workouts we've done where we don't like push it really hard at the end and you're like, oh, I just wish I could go harder. Yeah, we don't really work out together though. Yeah, we don't. Do you wish we did? Uh, no, it's my me time. Okay.

I mean, I wish you would sometimes. Yeah. What do you do on your drive to there? I listen to podcasts. All right. Is it true crime? That or I like, I've been listening to Something Was Wrong podcast. Shout out. Shout.

Yeah, I'm on season four. I started from the beginning. So I'm like, they're in 2020 right now. Didn't you start listening to that scam? It's like a scammer podcast, right? Well, yeah. When our friends got their adoption scam. Our friends down in Bella had an adoption scam. It was horrible. So sad. And yeah, that's like a whole other thing. It got me started because I know that some of their seasons are about like scams. Like online scams and stuff. Could you live the rest of your life never making another social media video? Never...

you know, never acting again, never doing any sort of art. Could you live a full life without doing any of that as long as you had your family? 1000%. Could you? That's the thing. And I feel now you're interviewing me. Now, I mean, I love my family so, so much. I think there's nothing. I truly think there's nothing wrong with having passions outside of that. Totally. And

Sometimes I worry about myself that I don't have that. Well, because there's times where I love my time with Griffin so much. I'm like, man, I wish I could just be a stay-at-home dad. I wish I could just quit the social media stuff and just fully focus on him. But then...

After a while, I'm like, man, I really want to go create something. No, I definitely think it would be naive of me to be like, oh, I wouldn't miss it at all. I definitely would because I think that there's a part of satisfaction that comes from doing something that's separate from...

you know, just being a mom and just being a wife. There is definitely, and I think that leads to self-confidence, which leads to, you know, increased mental health. Like, I think there's a lot of good that comes from it that I would miss. What do you feel is your purpose? My purpose. And you can answer that any way you want. It could be your purpose with your work, be your purpose as a mom. It could just be your, you're just like your life purpose or something. Well, my purpose as a mom would be to raise kids

To raise kind people. Okay. My purpose in my work would be to, I have to just stay true to myself. Yeah. My purpose is to stay true to myself because I feel like as soon as I start, I can't have the validation come out.

outward. Yeah. I come from the people that follow me or watch me because that ebbs and flows. Totally. And I would have quit a million times before. Do you feel like the praise is too high in social media and the hate, the hate is too? Do you feel like the hate and the praise are both too extreme? For sure. So it's like that. It just has to be like, it has to come from me and that's just to be who I am. Purpose. What was my other purpose as a wife? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. What is your purpose there? Um,

to for you to know that you're always loved that's so sweet yeah yeah i don't know what my other purpose is in life what do you what do you hope to be a good friend to people so boring what what do you hope to see change in the world wow this is so deep you don't have to answer these questions if you don't want to see change in the world i mean gosh i can't

Sometimes you ask me these questions. You ask me these questions on a regular basis. I just like to ask these. I like to think about these big ideas, you know? I just wish people had more empathy. Yeah, that's good. Why? I think the world needs more empathy. Why? If we have more empathy, we have more community. If we have more community, then I feel like we could start meeting each other's needs more. And then other people could, like their gifts could be exalt, like exalt.

Lift it up and then um, we could fill in for other people's like shortcomings. Yeah, that's good Yeah, I just think the world needs more empathy. Do you think that almost plays into the family unit too? Sure, I think that I think the family units is a microcosm a microcosm. Okay, that's a big word. That's a big word Yeah, I love that. Do you have any lasting thoughts to close out this interview? This is not at all what I thought this episode was gonna be

I didn't even know what it was going to be, to be completely honest. I just, I don't know. You were stressed out today and I was just like, I want to just, I don't, I want to go deep with Abby. Like, I just want to. That's a bad time to go deep. Really? Is that a bad time? Yes. Sorry. Because then I cried because I was already having elevated emotions. I'm sorry. And now people are going to tell me I have, you know, whenever I cry, people on the internet say I have, um, like, uh, pre-

prenatal depression really yeah really i think it's just called being pregnant your emotions are higher than usual yeah and i already had high how do you feel by the way if i if i take a video of you when you're crying and you're pregnant how does that people are not gonna believe me when i say this what do you what do you say i don't care and well if i do care i tell you right off the bat don't record this yeah and then you stop recording exactly but if i don't care i don't say anything that most recent video what did i say right before i start recording

can I record this? Yeah. And I said, yes. Your emotions were high and I thought, I thought you might get a kick out of it later. No, no, no. I get a kick out of it even in the moment. Like I, that's weird. Like in the moment I'm like, I am aware that this is a large reaction to something that's not a big deal. It's kind of fun too. It's hard to reel it back in. Yeah. When there's like, when you're in a moment of heightened emotion, I don't know for me at least, or if I'm doing something crazy, like some crazy stunt, I want someone to record.

I don't care. We've gotten so used to it too. It's not like I put on for it or it's not like I'm like off. I like that about you. I love that you don't put on. Yeah, I don't really care. Me next. Thank you for being stressed. Thank you for being vulnerable. I think our babysitter is about to leave. So we need to finish this up. Yeah, my stress has gone to medium. Hey, that's good. Maybe filming this episode helped. Yeah, maybe. Should we, should I read review? Should I like find, should I just like read the first review of our podcast that pops up? Also, do you like my toenails?

Love your toenails. This is the most recent review. It says, so fun. I just started a new job where I drive a lot and listening to this podcast helps me pass time. It's super funny and sweet to listen to. Thank you. I love listening to podcasts and driving. So that means a lot that you're listening to ours during your drives. Well, if you guys haven't left a review already, do that for a podcast. You can also hit the like button and subscribe to our YouTube channel for the podcast would really mean a lot to us.

And yeah, if you're a Spotify listener too, hit the five stars or four, however you want to rate our podcast. But we love you guys. We appreciate you. We could not do this without you. And can't believe that this is our life. That was a, I hope you guys liked the interview too. This was kind of just like,

A full transparency. We didn't have an episode idea for today. I just gleeked on the microphone. You gleeked? What does that even mean? You know what that is? No. When you like accidentally like spit, like, but it kind of shoots out. Oh my gosh. Well, I didn't have an episode idea. We got a really big guest coming on for our next episode. So I'm very excited. Stay tuned for that. But as always, three, two, one. Peace out, dudes.