Our First Time, Getting Married Young & How We Met
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What's up, dudes?

It's such a throwback. It kind of feels good though. I cannot believe we're doing this. We're actually starting a podcast. This is the Unplanned Podcast. Welcome. Welcome. We're so excited you're here. Episode one, baby. Yeah. My heart is pumping. I know. I'm kind of nervous too. I'm so nervous. I think it's because we have like lights and like these fancy mics in front of us or we normally just record like our phones. Yeah. And usually like our content's edited. So it's kind of, it's like so vulnerable. It's just to talk and not have some edited video for you guys. So this is crazy.

Yeah, it's very exciting. So this is episode one. We're just here talking about, I mean, it's pretty crazy. Like when you think about it, like we literally got engaged at, I was 19. Yes. I was a teenager. I was 20. We've known each other for seven years. We've been together for 10 years. Which is like in the grand scheme of things, not that long. But when you think about it in the context of like, I'm 24, so that's like almost half my life. I said that wrong. We've been together seven years. We've known each other for 10 years.

Well, still, that's like almost half my life. I know. I'm 24. I feel like an old man now. Do you really? Yes. Like it's freaking me out that I'm just as close as I am to the age of 30 as I am to the age of 18. Is that crazy? Like I was 18 six years ago and in six more years, I'm gonna be freaking 30 years old. Scary, dude. People say your 30s are your best years. COVID messed time up for me. Like now ever since COVID, like all the time just feels like a big blur, just like a big...

Blur. Speaking of time. Literally. We should talk about how we met. The first time we met. The first time we met. So, yeah, I guess like some context, like since we got engaged at 19, like we'd already known each other for quite some time. I was like, what, 14? Yeah.

Yeah. 14 when we first met. I was 14. No, you were 13. You were 13 years old and I was 14. I had just turned 14. I don't remember like the first moment I saw you. I don't. I don't either. But I just know that you had a crush on me and I didn't even really notice you at the time. So that's the worst thing is that like I was pretty obsessed with Matt. Like I would talk to him with all my girlfriends and like he didn't even know I existed.

I feel bad saying it, but I really didn't. Like, I just knew you as like this girl that was in the summer theater that I was a part of. Yeah. So we met at a summer theater. Like, it was the sweetest thing ever. My mom would drive me because I lived two hours away from the theater. She would drive me like for the summer for I don't know how many weeks, four weeks while I did a show. And we were in a performance together of Mary Poppins. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, you're right. We first met.

And we were just like ensemble members. Yeah. And you had a crush on me for literally three whole years. I would like show people Matt's Instagram. We should put this on the podcast Instagram. Oh, my gosh. This one video, I would show them of Matt on YouTube of you singing Baby Like Justin. Jeez. That was crazy. I told Matt the other day, I was like, that video did exactly what you wanted to do when you uploaded it because –

I mean, were you trying to get girls by posting that? Yeah, I used to sing for girls at high school football games. When I was in middle school, I'd go to the high school football games because that's where all the cool kids went. And I would sing for girls, like just trying to swoon them. And I just, I thought it was fun. It felt like I was Justin Bieber singing for all these girls. It worked. It totally worked on me. But that's why I posted that video because I was like, maybe this could be my big break. I could be just like Justin. It's so cute watching it back now because I can like tell that you're trying to be like sultry. Like your eyes are like smoldery. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. I just can't believe that like we don't do theater anymore. Like we met doing theater. You did dance ever since you were three, right? And I did dance ever since I was nine. I did dance for almost, actually I did dance for 10 years of my life. Holy cow. Literally. I feel like a lot of people now are like, oh, they're theater kids. That explains a lot. No, we are though. Like we were theater kids through and through. It feels like a different lifetime ago, but like I still would love to act at some point and you love singing. I would love to do music at some point.

And we danced on TikTok. I mean, it's really full circle. Yeah. I think we talked about this before starting the podcast. And I think we should talk about our like dating life before we were dating. Even though we didn't date, we were actually, we dated. Abby was the first girl I ever took out on a date. And Matt was the first boyfriend I had, but I had been on dates before. So, okay. We met at the ripe age of 13 and 14, but then...

We didn't really see each other. We saw each other like very rarely because I lived out of town. Like I would see him in town like, I don't know, three or four times between the time when I was 13 to the time I was 17. So those four years. But then fast forward to I'm 17. It's Matt's 18th birthday. What possessed you to ask me on a date like you'd never asked a girl on a date before?

And what drew your attention to me? You didn't care about me for all those years in between. So I'll be completely honest. I had been crushing on a girl in high school for like...

So many years. I don't even know how many years. It was bad. I just could not get over this girl who friendzoned me hard for so long. And I finally was like, you know what? This is never going to happen. I've met her. I think she's great. I think that you had great taste. Yeah, great girl. But I was like, this is never going to happen. And it kind of just like... I don't know. Like the infatuation thing. Does she know what an impact she had on you? I have no freaking idea. I have literally...

No idea. That's actually terrifying saying that right now. But I like noticed you. Do you think they're going to send her this podcast? Oh my gosh, dude. I noticed you though. And I was like, this girl is beautiful. And I just, it just like one thing after another, I was like, she's beautiful. She's so sweet. Would you say that I'm like, I don't even, I don't think I even like appreciate it.

approached you or pursued you at all. No, like it was just through conversation during rehearsal for Wizard of Oz. We were in Wizard of Oz together when I was 17 and you were 17. I think that I like had such a crush on you, but I, like the last, like the

when I had a crush that meant like I had to avoid that person like I'm like I can't talk to them I know that that's what it was for me is like it I luckily had the guts to talk to you because if I would have had a crush on you first like I don't know if I would have had the the confidence to like really keep things going because I was like oh I like this girl and I'm already talking to her so I should just keep doing what I'm doing you know so you yeah like what made you talk to me

I just thought you were fun to talk to. I thought you were really sweet. And I just saw you as a friend first. Like, you were a friend before you were anything more than a friend. Yeah, but I don't even think I was... I'm not really a flirty person. You were not flirty at all. So I feel like I just talked as a friend. So Abby was actually so shy when I first met her. I... And over the course... Yeah, she just... I realized...

pretty soon that she wasn't like a shy girl. She's nothing like literally so far from shy. In that setting, I'm shy because I felt so small compared to everyone around me because I was the new girl. I was the girl from out of town. Yeah.

Like, I just didn't know anyone, whereas everyone else knew each other. So, of course, I was going to be quiet. And I think the reason you were intimidated, too, is because it was a professional theater in St. Louis. I took it so seriously. It was serious. I mean, they brought in Broadway talent. They brought in Broadway, you know, directors, producers, like everything, choreographers. And so it was it was cutthroat. I was trying to, like, get their attention and be like the most dedicated person. I wasn't playing around.

But I think because you were an out of town girl and everybody else, a part of that group of high schoolers was like a local St. Louisan like myself. You felt like you weren't you weren't part of the group. You know, I wasn't. But what's funny is like I didn't feel like I was part of the group either because I was I was this skater snowboarder kid who also loved to sing, dance and take ballet. You know what I'm saying? Like I didn't fit in the mold either. Yeah. And I think that's kind of what brought us together in a way, which is. Yeah. So you just started talking. I'm pretty sure we played cards.

And then we just like, yeah, what made you ask me on a date that day? You're just like, I'm turning 18. No, no, that's really what it was. My 18th birthday is what made me realize I needed to ask you out because I was like, I have never kissed a girl other than truth or dare when I was like 13, but I don't really count that.

But I was like, I've never kissed a girl. I've never taken a girl out on a date. I've never done any of these things. And this girl is so cute. She's so sweet. And I thought you were like smart too. And I've always like, I don't know. I want my kids to be smart. So I was like, this girl is wife material. I need to take her out on a date. And Griffin's a genius. Griffin's freaking smart, dude.

So I asked you out on that date and that's where things got weird. It makes me so excited. That's where things got weird. Wait, why? Because your friend told me that you were dating somebody else. Okay, yeah. So let's explain this. Things were messy because I also had never dated anybody, but I'd been on dates with guys and I'd like texted guys and Snapchatted guys, but...

really wasn't the boy crazy girl. But you were going on dates with somebody else, but not dating them. Yeah. So I went on multiple dates with like lots of different guys, but like they were all super respectful and like they were all like, I mean, I didn't kiss any of them. Did they ever try to? Did anybody ever try to? And you were just like... I laid down the law before every date. I was like, hey, you know, I'm fine going on a date. I can see where this goes, but like, don't try to kiss me. So I was like, yeah, no, I...

know i was just like i want my first kiss to be special and i wasn't convinced that any of those guys were the one i mean they were all super nice super respectful guys every single one of them so i had a great experience it was fun but it's so crazy that the one guy i was like super spoon over asked me on a date so i was like super excited but yes someone told matt that i was in a relationship but i wasn't we were going on dates hold up hold up though when i sent you the text asking you on a date

Who were you sitting next to? I was sitting next to another guy who had driven down to see me in the show. I already knew at that point. Was that a date? Were you on a date when I asked you on a date? It was not a date. I think it was more than a date. He was staying with you. Staying in our hotel room. Were you guys in the same bed? No. It was me and my mom and then him and his buddy. Who you also had a thing with. Who you also went on dates with. Did you go on dates with him? Yes, you did. I'm just kidding.

You did. You've been on so you went on so many dates before dating me, which is just bonkers because I'd never been on a single one. Honestly, because I wasn't really that type of person. But like, I'll give it a chance. Like, sure. You never know where that could go. But I like wasn't taking them like super seriously. Some more than others. But yeah, I was sitting on the couch with him because he was staying in our hotel room to go to the show. I think he went to the show the night before.

And was like about to leave the next day. So then when you invited me on a date, I was like, oh yeah. Because I was already super...

I was knowing it wasn't going to go anywhere with this guy. So I think it's so funny that you laid down the law with all these guys and said no kissing. Oh, yeah. And then our first date happens. Yeah. And I kissed you. I kissed you the very first day. I didn't lay down the law with you because I never thought that you were going to do that. But that was like my one goal. I was like, I'm going on a date on my 18th birthday. I am going to kiss this. You planned it. Yes, I did. I was like, I'm going to kiss this girl. Can you tell them what you did? I watched YouTube videos.

about how to kiss i watched so many i watched so many videos about how to kiss because i was like if this girl has like a super awkward first kiss she's never gonna want gonna want to go on another date with me ever again and guess what happened the first kiss was awkward as but it was electric it was it was literally like someone had charged me

Yeah. With the electricity. That's what it felt like. Don't you wish you could go back? Oh. And just to feel all those feelings again. Oh my gosh. Like I'm getting, I'm literally getting chills right now. Okay. So you have to tell them. So Matt texted me while I was sitting with this guy on the couch and I like agreed to the date because I was already like knowing it wasn't gonna work out with this guy. So then I think the date was the next day, right? I think it was a couple of days later. Well, no, because then you backpack.

backpedaled. Then you're like, we should invite people. I backpedaled because your friend told me you were dating that guy. But then a few days later she was like, oh, just kidding. It's just a guy that she's friends with because I think you had told her like, you know, you got mad at her, I think, because she had told me that you were dating. And then you're like, oh, no, this is a guy I'm going on dates with. He's not my boyfriend. I wasn't mad, but I was just like, I really want to clarify because...

I liked you so much that I was like, please, like, don't give him the wrong impression. And then she was like, oh, crap. And so then anyway. Yeah. Anyway, though, but she got back to me and she was like, hey, she's actually single. So I asked him to really talk about how respectful that was of you to like backpedal when you thought that I had a boyfriend. You're like, let's invite other people. Yeah. But I also think it was lame that I asked you out over text.

Well, it was simpler times. We were in high school. I mean, I was 17. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we were both 17. So it is kind of lame that you did that. But also, I didn't think anything of it because it was high school. It's just simple times. Yeah. So you ask me on the date. We go to Chick-fil-A right away. I'm so nervous. I can't eat. I like nibble at a couple chicken nuggets. Yeah.

I'm like freaking out. We go to the movie theater. I literally chose the scariest movie they were playing at the time because I wanted to get Abby all nervous and like cuddly. And it worked. And it worked. She got like all cuddly with me. We went to like a horror movie. And I legit like, I'm not even kidding. I practiced like how to put my arm over you too before we went because I just had never-

On who? Your brother? No, just like on a pillow. Like I didn't know how to freaking do any of this stuff. I'd never been on a date before and I just wanted it to be good. And so we kissed. We went to the park. We went on a hike. I like didn't want to move. Once he put his arm around me, I was like, I can't move. I got the worst kick in my hip. What I remember though is we made out so much for like weeks after that. Like we were such –

We were such horn dogs, dude. Yeah, don't say that. We were. We were and everybody is though. Like you've never kissed anybody and then all of a sudden you kiss them. You're like kissing is amazing. You just start. I think everyone has that experience. Oh my gosh. Like you have movies that you know that you never saw any bit of the movie because you were just kissing. I remember watching Footloose as a kid and seeing them kiss and I was like, I want to experience that so bad. And so with you, like we would legit-

Remember the movie Bewitched? Remember this? Yes. We put on like Bewitched and put on like all these movies. I don't know anything about that movie. No, not at all. We made out the whole entire movie. I know. I feel like everyone has those movies where it's like we just made out the whole movie. The whole entire movie. Like can you imagine doing that nowadays? And then you feel like you feel bad too because like I don't know like you just –

can i tell you one time we were it was one of those early days we had just gone to six flags yeah and i had the worst migraine because we'd gone on roller coasters all day it was in the sun i was exhausted the worst my grand was feeling so nauseous and you had just eaten an ice cream sandwich oh my gosh and we were kissing and i still want to kiss you so bad i continued to do it even though i thought i was gonna throw up imagine if you would have thrown up at my mouth

That would have been horrible. That would have been horrible. Moving right along. Anyway, our dating experience was so unique because we were in high school and we were long distance technically because we lived two hours apart. We're both living with our parents still. So when we would see each other, it was at our parents' houses for the weekends. It was like, it was electric, Matt, because like we missed each other so much. And then we would talk on FaceTime all the time. We would literally FaceTime all night, literally all night long.

gosh, I was looking back at old photos the other day and just getting teary eyed, like thinking about how special that time was, like just all those early years. And I just wanted so badly to go back because it was so exciting. And what's funny is I was like excited for the future with you. And like, it's crazy that we're living in the future now, but even though I'm living in that moment that I was looking forward to, now I just want to go back. You know, I want to, I want to get a piece of that again. It was so much fun. Um,

I, one time I actually disobeyed my parents and I was 18 at the time. So I was like, mom, dad, I'm an adult. You can't tell me what to do, but I was living at their house. Um,

But they told me I couldn't go to Abby's house because I'd been a lot over the course of... You couldn't be home for once? I went there like every weekend. So they're like, just not this weekend, Matt. And I was like, screw that. I'm going. And I just did it. That was bad. But I made that drive all the time. It's a two and a half hour drive to Quincy, Illinois from St. Louis. And it was so fun. We were 17 and 18. It was the sweetest thing. I don't know.

That will always be like such a magical time. And I literally to this day listen to songs from 2016. Like that year was like so, I don't know, it's just burned in my memory. Like those songs just remind me of falling in love because that was the time that we fell in love. I've told you that you like brought me out of my anxiety period, right?

Like I, I have, I still have anxiety to this day, but it was like really, really bad in high school. And I like, I was so scared to tell people about it because I wanted, I don't know, like I was a very outgoing person and I just, I didn't want to look weak.

And the truth is I would go to school every day with the most insane pressure in my chest because I was so nervous about what people would think about me or I just wanted to fit in. But I didn't because I was a theater kid that liked to skateboard and play volleyball and snowboard and do ballet. I didn't really fit in a certain box. And you really brought me out of that. How so? Just...

Like talking to you were the best friend and still are like that I've ever had. And falling in love with you was so much fun because not only were we falling in love, but I was also developing a friendship that that like would change me forever, you know? Yeah. And that's crazy. And that's why I would FaceTime you for at least like literally one hour minimum every day. Yeah. Which is kind of crazy. That's really sweet. I feel like you hadn't told me that until recent months. Yeah. Yeah.

don't know I remember literally the first month that we were dating you told me you loved me it was within the first month yeah and I think like how early do you think we were talking about marriage oh within within like a couple months not I don't even know it was really early on dude I mean I'm pretty sure you brought it up I said I love you within like a few weeks I thought but like it was so sweet the way you said it he was like hey Abby I think I love you yeah and what did I say I was like you said it back I love you too I love you too

Okay, so I feel like that's kind of a controversial thing. Like people think that you should wait to say I love you. But I don't know. I just, I don't, I don't think the same way, I guess. Just because it's like if you love someone, life is so short. Like let that person know that they're loved by you. I don't know.

Gosh. Yeah. So you brought marriage up. It was you, right? I don't think I brought it up. No, I mean, I really, I really cared about you. And I remember telling my parents, like, I want to get married summer of 2017. That was the summer after high school. They were like, what the freak? It freaked them out. And I knew it would. I brought it up because I wanted to like shock them and make them more comfortable with that, with the idea of marriage. That's pretty rare though. Maybe the next summer. Like an 18 year old?

guy talking about being ready for marriage. Yeah. Like what, what brought that about? Oh my gosh. Just you were so in love with me. Yeah. I mean, I really, really liked you and we had decided we wanted to wait till marriage. So I was like, well, I really care about this person. She's my best friend. And I, I don't know. I mean, I, I don't, I, I,

There's so much to love and like sex isn't like it's such a small piece of that. But to like be with somebody for like a super, super long time. We were so emotionally. Yeah. Invested in each other that I can see like. But to like to be with somebody for a really, really long time and not have sex with them like is it's like torture. It wasn't that was a year that you're talking about. It is like torture. I know. No, I'm just. But that's what I was like. That's why so many of our friends from Utah like they meet each other, date, date.

get engaged and get married within a year. That's why so many of our friends from Utah do that because like they, yeah, that's just kind of what they do. Yeah, so we didn't live together or anything before we got married. So, okay, high school, things got really serious. Like we knew we were going to get married when we decided to go to the same college. And I think that really when we decided to go to college, which was like springtime of our senior year, we've been dating like nine months. I think that was when it was like, okay, like,

This is gonna be this is gonna be a forever thing. Yeah, which is a crazy that it felt so comfortable, but it wasn't scary No, I told everybody like yeah, I remember being a freshman And telling all my friends like yeah, this is my girlfriend abby. We're gonna get married Like I literally was just like so open about it. I told everyone like everybody knew that we were very serious um, and I

Everyone knew that we were going to get married. Like I talked to my mom about getting married to you. But that's the thing though, dude. You didn't tell your parents that like – Like the timeline. No. You didn't tell them that you wanted to get married in college because when you brought that up, they weren't about it. They weren't about it. And I think it's understandable. I think that's like – even though they loved you so much, I think it's like – I was their first child like –

That's crazy to think that they're going to be because marriage changes your relationship with your parents. Because whereas I was first like they were my first call. They were like everything. Even though you'd kind of already transitioned to that, I think marriage made that final. Well, you know what it was is when I was at your senior dance recital, I told your mom that I wanted to marry you and I wanted to marry you.

in college and within probably a year or two so she was like losing me to college and then all of a sudden she's gonna lose your mom my mom is is a boss woman she's a she's a modot employee she's a engineer she's you know she went to school from um civil engineering and got her degree in that like she's she's not like uh i don't know she's not super emotional i've never really seen my mom cry other than a couple times when i was a kid um but i think your mom my mom i mean all

I mean, still are like best friends. Like we were like super close. But talking like with my mom, like I talk very logically. There's not very many emotions in there. It's just like, here's the logic. Here's what I want to do. Well, that's probably the difference between a mother-son relationship and like...

a mother-daughter relationship. Yeah, but my mom is very different than your mom. So with your mom, I was like, hey, just so you know, I'm going to ask your daughter to marry me. Well, I was saying like, hey, just so you know, like this is what we're talking about. Like this is like the timeline we're seeing. And that freaked her out. Yeah. Freaked her out. Yeah. And I think that's when, I think that's when it switched with your mom. I mean, we're good. Abby, Abby's mom and I are good now, but like for a while there, I don't think your mom liked me. I don't think she did. Enemy number one. Yes. Because like in her mind, I was taking away her best friend. Well, like I

i mean you were you kind of i was i was so i i understand that because you were you were your mom's best friend and i just remember my mom always telling me she's like abby you don't know what it's like it's like now i have a kid and it's yes i'm getting small tastes of that and getting married was like me oh my gosh dude we've got literally 18 years until that happens i still want that dude it's okay it's okay for my mom it's okay it's okay anyway

But then when he goes to college, you know what that means? It means we're going to get grandbabies not too long after that. Maybe. We don't know. He can make his choices on his own. You can't put that pressure on him right now. That's so weird to think about. I'm going to love being a grandma. I'm back on track.

Where are we at? I did not know. I did not know we were going to be crying on the first episode. I should have known whenever we sit down and talk. I just get emotional. You're an emotional woman. You're especially emotional with your last pregnancy. Pregnancy made me very emotional. Having a kid makes me emotional. Yes. Like your heart is, they literally say that. It's like your heart's outside your body. It's like it really is. Outside my body is dangerous because it can get hurt out there. Anyway, so Matt and I go to college together knowing fully well that we're going to get married.

And then we just kind of. No, it was. So hold up. You're skipping a step. What did I do? It was that winter that you told your parents. You're like, hey, just so you know, Matt and I want to get married. Winter. No, fall break. Freshman year. I like told them. And it was bad. It was bad. It was bad.

They loved you and they, I think they knew in their hearts that we were ready for marriage, but they just, which I do think we were fully ready, honestly, earlier than when we got married. Oh yeah. But dude, it threw me off so hard because your parents got married when they were like 22 and 23. They got married right after college. My parents got married when they were like 30. I think this is common though. Like people think that like first you graduate college, then you get married. Well, yeah. I mean, everybody says that. Can we talk about our experience being married in college? Yeah.

But I had something else I wanted to say. Oh, go ahead. But that really shocked me though, because I just thought your parents would be on the same page. Them being married on the younger side, I just assumed, oh, they'll be all for it. And you completely thought that too. I think I was surprised that they were so against it. So that like, I remember you were crying for like, you cried a lot. It was really tough for a while. And what's funny is your parents like found different like leadership positions.

people in our life that they wanted us to meet with and talk to people that like were basically there just to try to talk us out of getting married young but we were like so we were so set on it we had so much ammo against those people because we had mentors that were like married and they got married young we were talking like we were picking everybody's brain about

young marriage and like what it's like to be married, what it takes, how to resolve conflict. We were reading books. Dude, we were grinding too because like the week that I entered school at Missouri State University, I went and applied for 10 jobs. Yes. I was like, I was like, look, I need to make money. I want to get married. I want to be financially independent of my parents. I think we understood that it would be

ridiculous to tell our parents we were going to get married while still accepting money from them. No, of course. So we like cut that off. And I started reading so many books about finance because I had grown up like not knowing a lot about business, not knowing a lot about, um, you know, I had no financial literacy. Um,

other than like mowing lawns for neighbors when I was a kid as like a, as a small, you know, job in college. But like, I realized that I really needed to learn how money worked because I wanted to provide and I wanted us to be set up so that we didn't have to run back to mommy and daddy and be like, please pay for our stuff even though we're married. Like that would have been. I will say,

say like i think that if you're gonna get married that young i think we did it the right way well yeah because we chose a school that was really cheap if you're gonna go to if you're gonna go to college like taking on a lot of debt is we kept our expenses super low it's a bad idea so we didn't go out like our friends even when we were dating we like this is pretty weird though we combined our finances like before we were engaged yeah uh it was right around when we got engaged i don't know when exactly it was i could look back at the bank statements but we did combine early on because we

Because we didn't have much. So like, it was kind of like, oh yeah, we're gonna, we were just preparing for marriage. And we, yeah. I mean, we didn't have a lot of money. We were servers at a pizza restaurant. So we weren't making bank. I will say our parents had both set aside a little bit of money for us for college. Yeah.

Um, but that would have only covered like a semester or two at some of these nicer schools that we were considering. Um, but choosing a state school that was cheap and, um, we worked hard in high school to get good grades and we both were able to get, we got good scholarships. So that really, that made, that made the little money for our parents go a very long way. And with us, I think with the scholarships and the money from our parents, it almost covered, I think it basically covered all of

Yeah, we kept our finances like in order. Yeah. We would go out with friends and they would like get ice cream. We would like not even get ice cream. Like we were super strict about things because we just like knew like... Yeah. We need to do this to get married. Which was funny because I had friends who were like, yeah, there's like 20 bucks in my bank account. They're like, I'm getting ice cream tonight. And I'm like, dude, why do you not save that? Because we had money in the bank because we were working and we were full-time students and working part-time. But I was like, we need to build up like a nest egg so that like...

If something happens or we decide to move to, I don't know, Hawaii when we're done with school. Something crazy like that. That we have money ready. So we were just like really grinding, really saving and it really helped us out. Got the finances together. We're talking with other people, like getting advice, reading books, listening to podcasts. Like we were really...

We went about it in a wise way for being so young. Yes. And I'm so proud of you, dude. Like you, I made the personal decision to work really hard, but like you got a job serving when like you did not. I don't know if you really wanted to do that right away, but you did. And it was all so that we could get married young and be financially independent. I feel like to get married as young as we did, like sacrifices had to be made. And all of those sacrifices were so easy to make in comparison to like

you know, entering this commitment with you. Like I was like ready. So it didn't really, I didn't, it didn't bother me. Like my, some people I knew like didn't have jobs. And I was, I was like, I'm grinding. Cause I want to be with my husband and not my boyfriend anymore. Yeah. Got engaged after our sophomore year of college. Do you think we waited too long?

No, I think the timing was perfect because I think it was really nice that I got to like have, you know, I had dorm life my freshman year, sophomore year. I loved the year that I was living with my girlfriends. Dude, it's so hard because like I really enjoyed the year I had with my, with my,

I was going to say boyfriends, but that just sounds weird. With my boys. With my boys. It was really fun. We did a snowboarding trip that winter where we took a jar of peanut butter with us on the road because we couldn't afford to eat out. So we ate peanut butter and crackers. That's classic. I think we ate out one time that whole trip. Anyway, it was a fun time. But like...

Because we chose to wait till marriage, I was like, bro, this sucks. And like we were engaged for 13 months. That's a long time. If you're waiting till marriage, that's a very long time. And I would not recommend that. If you're waiting till marriage, do not be engaged for freaking 13 months. If you aren't waiting, then like you can have an engagement as long as you want. But yeah, that sucks. Well, that's something else I want to say. Like-

We did get married very young, but like realistically, our life looked pretty much like most people's do when they live with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Well, yeah, we spent a ton of time together. Which a lot of 19 and 20 year olds are living with their boyfriend or girlfriend. So it's like it wasn't that weird. It actually wasn't weird at all. Like, you know what I mean? Because so many people live with their boyfriend or girlfriend in college. And it was like I was living with my boyfriend, but we were married. So I don't know. So we dated our senior year of high school.

Still dating freshman year of college. Engaged for sophomore year and then married for junior and senior year of college. Yeah. And... Before I dropped out. I did drop out. Before Matt dropped out. In my senior year. I had one semester left. Yes. So, I don't know. I guess...

I mean, I think it did make our wedding super fun because we were in college when we got married. Like we had all of our high school. We were still close enough with our high school friends. And we had all of our college friends. Like people ask all the time, like, do you wish you would have eloped? I'm like, yes, but no, because our wedding was so fun to have everyone together. It was a massive party. Our dance party at our wedding was...

was so fun like people were sweating so much they went so hard on the dance floor their shirts were like sticking to them yeah that was that was a really good memory i have videos on my phone from when we were dancing at the wedding and like everyone was like i've never seen a dance party like that at a wedding i have never been to a wedding since that had a party that like it was a rager it was so good it was a rager it was perfect

and it wasn't just the young people like yes everyone was on the dance floor the kids couldn't even drink alcohol and they were just still sending it we were sober partying i was totally sober and we were just like going so hard i think yeah and it wasn't just the young people it was like literally like all the couples there everyone i only had i only had one beer and i was like just going crazy you know yeah it was so much fun and then you weren't even oh my gosh you weren't even 21 they gave me sprite abby they they did

They gave me Sprite in a champagne glass. They gave Abby Sprite in the champagne glass. And they actually gave it to me too because I don't think they realized that I was 21 right away. So for the toast part of our wedding, we literally had Sprite. That's how young we were. It tasted way better than wine. It tasted way better than champagne, honestly. Dude, honestly though, freaking Moscato. I love a good Moscato. I have a sweet tooth. It's because you like sweet stuff. I love sweets. I love the girly drinks. They're so much better than the dude drinks. The dude drinks just taste like freaking...

I don't know, motor oil. Literally. Yeah. There's not a whole lot of flavor, but with like a strawberry daiquiri. Oh, I love those. You're a margarita guy. Margaritas. Yeah. But like our wedding was such a rager. And then like as we were leaving, everyone was shouting, Abby. And it was like so fun. I love that. And then enter junior year of college where newly married. Do you feel like you went

like you went through a new... Hold up. Hold up. You're skipping a step. We had so many questions on Instagram, which you guys should totally follow us both on Instagram if you're not already doing that. And subscribe to the podcast. Should we answer some of the Instagram questions? Wait, wait. Hold up though. I was saying something. And subscribe to the podcast. It would really mean a lot to us. Hit the like button and the notification bell so you don't miss out on any future episodes. And for those that like to listen on Apple Podcasts as well as Spotify, we will have an episode...

We will have future episodes out on those platforms. We just are so unplanned that we haven't gotten that far in getting it up on those platforms. So, yeah. I will say you do not want to miss the next couple episodes. They're going to be insane. Sorry. What were we saying? We were talking about... I got totally...

It was between junior year and- Oh, yes. I wanted to ask you a question. I wanted to ask you, were you nervous for the wedding night? We waited till our wedding night. I was so ready. I was not nervous at all. Yeah, dude. Same. I was so- It was not even awkward. We left our wedding at nine o'clock on the dot. We were like, nine o'clock, let's get the freak out of here. I didn't feel nervous at all. Did you feel nervous?

I think I was really excited. Yeah. And then it like last like three minutes. Shut up. We don't need to give details. I thought it was really good. Yeah. I mean, it was it was good, but it's just like, yeah, it's funny. Like it was definitely special. It was super special. It was. It was. It was. And then I feel like the next day we did like five times. Shut up. You cannot put this online. It was, um.

It was really sweet. Wait, the funniest part was my grandma the next morning to you saying, wasn't it just like ecstasy? She literally said that to you, right? I don't remember the quote. Wasn't it just like a dream? Is that what my grandma said to you? There was some comment. So funny. That was one thing where I think you were like, maybe don't do a breakfast. Don't do breakfast after your wedding night. Because then your whole family is just like, how was the sex? Matthew, I think my face just like.

red embarrassment a little bit yeah it was sweet though and i feel like so we were super infatuated i would say like for the first like six months of us dating yeah but i feel like we went through almost like a short another infatuation stage after getting married yeah after getting married for sure but i would say like i would recommend people to be with somebody probably two years before they get married yeah because like i definitely felt the infatuation phase especially if you're in high school

school oh yeah oh my oh my gosh but like we um i felt the infatuation fade probably around like a year and a half in because that's actually true like a year and a half i said six months oh really i don't know i think it was longer than that because like right around somewhere in college i was like okay i'm no longer like how long does it take for us to get in the fight

I don't know dude it's too hard I feel like it was like six or seven months before we got I cannot even think like in my eyes at that time you could do no wrong yeah it's not funny oh my gosh if only we would have known how crazy it would have gotten it would get it would get but yeah so junior year of college starts and we're living in low-income housing a lot of people were like how did you make yeah that was like a common question on Instagram they're like how did you financially make marriage so young work

And we kind of talked about how we were like super frugal. We worked really hard. Let me start with this. So we were looking for like the cheapest apartments to live at because we didn't have...

lot of money. We were balling on a budget, people. Okay. And we realized as we were looking around that we qualified for low income housing because surprise, surprise, we didn't make very much money. We had low income. Yes, we had low income. And so basically it's like government subsidized housing. So it's like less expensive. Which is funny. This is the thing that sucks for college students. Your parent, how much your parents make is factored into like all of

your financial information. But like for us, once we got married, it knocked them off and it was like, you're independent because we were. And the government literally gave us money for getting married in college. Some people don't know that. We weren't planning for that. No, but like it's very common. Yes. You get a grant.

If you're married in college. It's called the Pell Grant and we got it. We weren't planning on it. It was an amazing surprise. It was awesome. It was just like, oh, sick. Kind of needed, honestly. Yeah, it really helped us out. But it was like, oh, sweet. We get some extra money from the government. And that was- So then we got paid to go to college. I mean, can we say that? Essentially. Honestly, we pretty much did after we got married. We didn't plan that though. It just like, it just worked out. Yeah. And with, that was the thing. People don't know that.

though like with our scholarships expensive like how'd you do it and it's like yeah there's if you live frugally and you work while your expense is low i think that's the top one and you get good grades and you go to a cheap school and you get married while you're in college like you're gonna be good it was so fun and like did another question was like did people think it was so weird not really maybe it's just where we're from i felt uncomfortable i did really i was embarrassed yeah because i didn't want people think i was like an idiot like oh you're an idiot for getting married so young you know like i i kind of was a little insecure about it um

I feel like you weren't though. Cause you always introduced me. You'd be like my wife when you didn't even need to say it. No, no, I did. I did. Like I was, I was very proud of being married to you for sure. Yeah. But I think I was a little nervous. Like, especially when I was, when I was 19, I asked you to marry me. Like right after I turned, I was what? Like I had turned 24 days before I asked you to marry me. So I was literally a 19 year old kid planning on asking his girlfriend, um,

To marry him. So it was, I was intimidated by that, but it was definitely, definitely the right time. I definitely could have asked you to marry me earlier because I was ready even before then, you know? So you don't think we got married too young? No, we could have gotten married earlier for sure. Do you think that you had, like going into marriage so young, do you think that you had like rose colored glasses?

No, because I think we were together long enough that the infatuation faded, which for me was around a year and a half. I think we could have gotten engaged at like around a year and a half and then gotten married two years. But do you think you like over glamorized marriage itself?

It's hard to say. I feel like that happens also at any age, you know? What's funny is like for us, nothing really changed other than we were having sex after we got married. Like that's really the main... No, we were living together. I mean, yeah, but like we spent so much time together before we were married. Do you smell pizza? I do smell pizza. I think someone's making pizza. I want to eat that so bad. Yeah, we should probably wrap it up so we can eat some pizza. No, but I feel like...

My best advice is if you're getting married young, you need to have other married people in your circle. Yes. Kind of like giving you...

I don't know. What'd you say? Like an accurate description of marriage. What it is. You need opinions. You need the good opinions and you need the bad opinions. And honestly, I think it was so good that my parents were skeptical going into it because it really made me dig deep and ask myself like, why do I want to get married? And like, what is the purpose of marriage? And like, it really made me ask hard questions and it like having an argument against them

And against every single person my mom had us meet with. Totally. Really? Every single person. Oh my gosh. We had an army of people to convince. Dude, we talked to so many people that were like, oh, we know why you're here. You're literally here just to tell us not to get married. Like that's literally. Not so many, but a couple for sure. Hey, let's go get tacos and talk about not getting married. I'm like, oh my gosh. Okay. No, but I think it was super good for us.

And like, I don't know. I think we were really prepared even though we were so young. The negative voices really make you think critically. And it's kind of like in life when people say, oh, you're not capable of that. And it's like, screw you. Yes, I am. And it's like, it makes you really dig down, dig deep and like, you know, just become the person you're meant to be. And for us, that was like, okay, you know what? These people are wrong and I'm going to prove them wrong. And this is the right decision for us. I know it. I feel it in my heart.

And we proved them wrong. We've been married for three and a half years. So happy. No, I am. I am. I really am. That sounded so sarcastic. No, I definitely am. I will say like if you're thinking about getting married young, yeah. Like have other people giving you like insights into marriage. But then also like just make sure you're friends because –

All the romance, it changes. It does change. And it changes pretty fast. It changes rapidly. And when you first get married, you might be... You might not poop in front of each other. No, we were pooping in front of each other for sure. I think we were actually. But like a lot does change in marriage. You want to make sure that you're marrying someone that's like your best friend. And that's someone that like you can have as a life partner because the romance side...

Like that makes up, that's such a tiny piece of the pie. It is important. Okay. Very important, but it's a tiny piece of the pie. And I think you can know that you have romantic compatibility with someone without sleeping together. Yes. Because that's like a super big misconception. Yeah. And you'll figure it out. You'll figure out. Yeah. It's so much fun to figure it out. Trust me, when you are like really into somebody, it's going to work out. Like it's going to be, you're going to have a good time. Yeah. And that changes

changes over time too. The preferences with that change over time. Something else I wanted to say, when you get married, you're marrying a set of problems. Everyone has their own set of problems. And so don't ever think like, well, if I'm just with somebody else, this is, I guess, more for married people, but it's like, oh, if I'm with somebody else, it'll be way better. It's like, no, when you get married, like,

you are married to a set of problems and you need to figure out solutions to working things out with each other because there's no such thing as a perfect marriage. There's no such thing as perfect people and challenges and fights will come up. Yeah, know how to resolve conflict with that person before you've gotten married. And don't be afraid to get therapy. Don't be afraid to talk to somebody about it. We've been through a few counselors. We've been through a few. Yeah, we haven't found a good counselor yet. We really need to. We need to find a good marriage therapist.

Because everyone we've met with, I hope they're not watching this, but like it just didn't, it wasn't the right fit. I mean, that's what it comes down to. Yeah, if you're a marriage therapist, leave your contact down below. Yeah, drop us a comment down below. We'd love to speak to you about how we can resolve conflict. No, and it's just like, just be aware that conflict will come. It will. And then know that you guys are both committed to resolving conflict. Yes. And I think that's the biggest thing about us is that we were going in knowing that

that we were willing to do whatever it took to fight for our marriage and fight for unity and oneness. Totally. That's so good. Yeah. So I don't think we got married too young. I don't think we did. I think we just get more years together than, which is a blessing. Yeah. And I think it's just because of the timing of when we met. I think this whole thing boils down to timing. If we would have met when we were 24...

We would have gotten married at 26 or whatever. But we met at 14 and 13. That's the crazy thing to realize. If we would have met when we did, I don't think we would have gotten married. And the timing plays such a big role into all of it. And the reality is you can be compatible with multiple people in the world. If Abby would have grown up in- You mean I'm not yourself?

I just don't believe in soulmates. Like I believe I believe that if you're born in a certain part of the world, you're going to marry someone in that part of the world. Yeah. Or if you're born there and then you travel to some other country, then maybe you're likely to marry someone there. But it's more romantic that we're not soulmates and that we are both willing to still choose each other despite everything else. Sorry for interrupting. Yeah. Like marriage takes a lot of work.

And there's just no getting around that. And there's no person that's like. Choose your heart. Choose your heart. There's no person that's like your soulmate that's just going to like everything's gonna be perfect with. And I've realized that in life, like with moving to different places, like we've had problems. Like I've had personal problems. I've had marriage problems. I've had business problems. I've had, I have problems anywhere I live, any stage of my life. Mads got it.

- I got problems. - I got problems you guys. - No, I'm just kidding. - But like, yeah, moving to Hawaii was a fun time, but like it didn't make my life like a bazillion times better. Moving to Phoenix was fun. Buying a house is fun. Didn't make my life a million times better. Having a million followers on,

YouTube doesn't make anything like I don't know. It's just like we're still humans and we're still going to have challenges because we're humans no matter where we live, no matter what we do. Choosing a life partner is probably the biggest decision you will ever make in your life. Which is terrifying because. Which is scary and it can be it needs to be taken extremely seriously. But I think that your age shouldn't be the reason why you can't take it seriously. If that makes sense. You know what I mean? Like I think you need to be wise and knowing that

Things might be weird. Your brain might be not fully developed or whatever when you're super young. But I just... Basically, I'm pro young marriage if it's the right timing for the people and that both people are committed to choosing one another. Me too. And the funny thing is we both got cold feet right before we got married. Yeah, I freaked out. I freaked out too. We both did. I freaked out, but I think...

that's probably a good thing because that meant that we understood the weight of the commitment we were about to enter into. Totally. You know what I mean? 100%. And I'll always choose you. Yeah. Same here. If you're young and you feel like you want to get married, don't let your age stop you because I think it's a beautiful thing. And I think that one of the best parts of being married young is that we've developed our habits and our lifestyles based off of one another. It's not like I ever had that independent phase before.

Where I like got set in stone. I just don't, I don't know anything different. So. Totally. It's kind of good. Wow. Is that, does that just wrap up the, our podcast or very first episode? One last deep pressing question. What? Do you feel like you missed out on anything?

Because we got married so young. I think people that didn't get married young missed out on a life that I got to live. That's kind of true. I think that you choose... I feel like together we got to unlock different levels of life. Yes, we did. No, we definitely missed out on like the quote unquote college experience. We did not party. We didn't. But like we were having...

I don't want to bring up sex again, but like it was fun. Oh my gosh. I had a really fun time in college. Life was great. So much fun. Well, you guys, thank you for watching this first episode. Make sure again that you're subscribed, hit the like button and turn on the bell for post notifications. And we will see you next week on Wednesday, February 8th, right? Is that the right date for episode two? Yeah.

And oh, also again for Spotify and Apple Podcasts people, we will have an episode on those platforms. I'm personally an Apple Podcasts listener, so I will be excited when we're on there too, guys. Don't you worry. It will be very soon. Should we do peace out dudes? Oh yeah! Three, two, one. Peace out dudes!