The Chief Rabbi of The Bachelor: Friday, August 16th, 2024
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- Good morning millennials and welcome back to The Toast. Happy Friday, or should I say Fri-yay? - Fri-yay, we did it. The end of another gargi-pargi week of swirly summer. - Fri-yay, Fri-yay. Gotta get down on Fri-yay. - We absolutely have to. Bruno's getting down after a big blowout bash yesterday. He's like a little hungover, four years old, finally can party hard. So he's kind of taking it easy today. - Yeah, he's 28.

28 no he's so four he's so four can i ask you a question unrelated to bruno just like tangential dog years no actually like completely having nothing to do with what we were talking about i don't want to talk about dog years you i like literally the last thing i want to talk about is dog years like i'm fucking traumatized okay not me losing my angel boy at 42 okay

Far too young to go at 42. So much life left to live. I don't want to talk about it. Who invented dog years and why? Somebody stupid and ugly. Like, shut up. But maybe it was meant to make you feel better if your dog passes at six. And instead he was 42 with an incurable cancer. Can I just say something before the thing I was going to say? Theo was so 42. He was so 42. I don't know about you, but he's feeling 42.

And dead. Like it was 42, boom, dead. Yeah. Now the other thing I was going to talk about is you and I are recording about 30 minutes earlier than we usually do today. And do you feel like that's going to like affect the show at all? I feel like we might be like a little crazy. Oh, no. No.

Because like after all, it's about 12 minutes earlier. You have to put your bread in the oven. After all was said and done, then the gardeners were making noise outside of the room. So like after all was said and done, it's 12 minutes earlier. And I think we're the same girls we are in 12 minutes from now. And if we're not, then like in 12 minutes from now, the show will like even out. If we're not, then we deserve everything we have coming to us. Oh, wait. Speaking of things we have coming to us, tomorrow our final Jizz Show. Let's take a moment to reflect at a glance. We've done, what is this, like 10 shows now. What is this?

I don't know. Okay. I know we did Forth Beacon. Okay. Of course. We all know that. Of course. I'm a little murky on how many West Ham did. It was either four or five. So this is either our ninth or 10th show. I like 10.

I think 10. And then also if it is only our ninth show, then we could loop in that old Caroline show. If we had to. And say this is our 10th live show. Well, this is our last live show for this little run we've done. We have no plans to do any more. So like I'm calling it like this is the final one for a good time being. Yeah. And it's tomorrow night, Atlantic City, Borgata. I'm really excited about it. I haven't been to Atlantic City in forever. And I'm just sort of feeling like the Atlantic City vibes wash over me. Like I feel like I'm gonna have to be like start acting crazy starting now.

Maybe starting in an hour. Why? Why wouldn't I put it on the podcast? They love it. Okay. Let's just, we'll see where the chips fall. Then maybe you could go gamble them. Literally. Can we talk about how crazy like that one time I got an IV on the toast was like, I used to come to the toast hungover all the time. Like literally having gone to bed at four in the morning on like a Tuesday and

I can't believe how different my life is now because I was just watching Hillary from the Soto Method was on Taylor Strecker's podcast because they met at like a panel or whatever and they were obviously I tuned in because I heard they were speaking glowingly about me and you know Hillary she's so complimentary like she can't just say like oh Claudia's great she's really dedicated like she had to give like this whole diatribe that seriously like

was like the nicest thing anybody's ever said. - Nicer than anyone said at your wedding, like your bridal shower. - God himself could not have written something more beautiful than what she said, just like about my commitment and how I'm so, like she said, like I really show up when I'm with you, like I'm so focused on what I'm doing. Like I'm literally not.

But it just like really put into perspective like how much I have changed, you know, how different I am. And if you ever win a big award and like someone has to introduce you for the award, you should have Hillary do it. Why wouldn't it be you in this scenario? Because like... Let's say you're busy. I think she would like...

Not that I don't feel those things towards you, but sometimes I have a hard time getting it out on paper. I think she would give you the most glowing introduction. Yeah, she's good with the words. Yeah. That's actually a great idea. If somebody wants to give me an award just so I can get Hillary involved, do let me know. Perhaps, you know, a Purple Heart. Like a lifetime achievement. You really want a Purple Heart. Like,

I bring it up all the time. It's like Tariq's armed hike. It's like once a week. Why don't you join the military? Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. It's not that I have this like obsession, like kind of like Sully with the Hudson. Like I don't have an obsession with the Purple Heart. Or Tariq with the gun. I kind of like don't know other awards besides like Oscar, you know? But nobody introduces you for an Oscar. Right. No, except unless you're getting like a lifetime. I need a Video Vanguard Award. That's what I need. A Video Vanguard. We do videos like that's

possible. There are other lifetime achievement awards, a Nobel Peace Prize. Two things. I totally forgot to tell you this. Like you came up on my feed today, like on TikTok in like a super cut. Scoozy? It was like a little compilation of little jokes you made on the Kellyanne show. The Kellyanne show. Jackie, I was cackling. You are funny. Like I know you are because we do this together, but like it sucks because I'm just like an animal with steamrolls and everything. Oh my God, I was cackling. You're just like an old shoemaker with all these old shoes. Like what the

fuck are you talking about you were being so funny I enjoyed every minute of that super cut thank you so much and thank you for reminding me to let everyone know if you like want somewhere me in your life Kelly doesn't Kellyanne is a makeup artist makeup ex-cop I do call her cop mostly but for the color X on the

video I really tried to call her Kellyanne and she does like really high quality video series of makeup with like influencers celebrities she does people's makeup she does tutorials and then sometimes she just like chit chats with a girlie and we both do our own makeup that's what she and I did and I guess it was super funny we recorded it months ago back when I was in Florida it was like so much fun and it was so glamorous it was so high production value and that was really fun but the

video what was I gonna say about them oh the shoemaker shoes it's like because I was asking her like do you always have like a perfect thought because like you're so great at makeup and she was her answer was pretty much like no for a variety of reasons but it is like the old saying like the shoemaker wears old shoes you would think the shoemaker has the nicest shoes but he's so busy fixing everyone else's that he's wearing old shoes got it that's a good analogy like shoemaker do you live in a shuttle like I can't with you

And you just reminded me, even though like, I don't know, it's supposed to come out today. So I won't say what it is, but it just will say like, I am putting out a piece. Well, I'm not putting out. I was featured on a piece of content today. That might be my best work ever. I just got sent like the final cut two days ago because I was told it's coming out today, but I'm not sure if it is. What is it?

Oh, okay. Jackie, seriously, it's my best work. Really? Better than the toast? Yeah, because you want to know why? First of all, I looked so pretty. I was feeling myself. And two, I- It was all about you. It was all about me. Not about stories, not about your sister. Exactly. Questions about tourney. I also knew that when I went on this platform, I would be speaking to people who aren't my usual folk. It's mostly younger Gen Z. And I wanted to impress them. So I was kind of on my A game. And it might be, if I ever have to send in a reel or something, I'm sending in this whole-

Okay. I mean, honestly, I pretty much like know everything about you, have seen everything that you've done. No, it's hysterical. I'm constantly like in the midst of content with you, but I think I'll watch that. Yeah, no, no. By the way, trust and believe. As if I didn't get enough turdy in my day. It's so good. It's so good. I need to. When does it come out? I don't know. I thought it was today.

I don't know. Not today? No, but I think it is. Well, it's a West Coast thing, right? Yeah, right. So like it's still 654 there. Right, right, right. So like they're sleeping. No, don't worry. I already looked it up. It wasn't there. No, but I want to see like when their last episode came out. Two days ago. Oh. With one of your faves. With one of my faves.

Yeah. Oh, it's a twice a week thing. People are doing that now. A lot of the podcasts now are doing twice a week. Our influence. Good guys. Good guys. Mondays and Thursdays. It makes sense. Yeah. I mean, they see successful women doing it five times and they're like, wow. If you're not doing it twice a week, like seriously, what are you doing? Oh my God. I just realized how the 30 minute. I just realized how the 30 minute like pushup is affecting me. The 30 minute pushup. Of toast. Okay. How? You forgot to brush your teeth? No. No.

Your coffee? Yeah. Oh, because you didn't finish your coffee, so you're sitting with it. Not only that, not only did I not finish my coffee, I didn't take a dump.

And it's brewing. You didn't schedule your dump. We like, we actually might have to pause. Okay. Here's the thing. We could pause at 1015. Oh, because you have to get your bread out of the oven. I was hoping Ben would take the lid off and turn the temperature down, but I could do that at 1015 and you could drop a deuce. That's in 20 minutes. And I'm just letting you know, like the pause is now like, it's just, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to everyone. I'll be right back. I'm back. That was like suspiciously quick.

Let me tell you, I washed my hands first of all, because I, well, I always wash my hands. Did you wipe? I did. I washed my hands. I wiped. I studied, not to be so rude. It was in your children's bathroom. And interesting, Johnson & Johnson switched to the cardboard refills for their, uh,

Yeah. I was like, what is this carton of milk doing in Jackie's kid's tub? I saw Zach got it, I guess from Amazon. I hadn't experienced that yet. I guess it makes sense. Like we didn't need a new bottle. We just needed more like fluid. But yeah, it looks like a milk carton. Good to see Johnson and Johnson like doing their part. No, it's like so nice for them because like they get to cut costs and like send me a piece of shite. And you get like this disintegrating piece of cardboard in your kid's tub. But then they get to say they're saving the world. Can I tell you that kids, what is it, Johnson and Johnson? Like it's what we've been using since like we were kids. Yeah. No tears, left to cry, whatever. Is it no tears?

I don't know. I use both the yellow and the purple. Okay. So the yellow and the purple, both. They both are the best smelling thing I've ever smelled in my life. And I don't know if I told you this, but I literally used it to give Romeo a bath because I wanted Romeo to smell like that. What? I don't even know how to describe that scent. It's my childhood. It's like baby. Delicious. It's so good. And Johnson and Johnson at present, like it's not like the cleanest. Is that hard for you? No.

I dabble in everything. Like we do have our clean shampoos at home. Like we use them more. And sometimes I'll like switch off or just use like the Johnson in the hair just to get a little scent of it. But it's not like every day all the time, but it is a special treat. No, they couldn't come up with a smell like that without using toxic chemicals. That's like how I am with my own like shampoos and body washes. Like I mostly use clean stuff, but every once in a while, like I need the good stuff. You get a little dirty. Yeah. Yeah. I love that stuff. Like seriously, it's cracked to me. That smell. I love it. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's what I was doing on the John. And yes, fun fact about me, it's like I can go to the bathroom number one or number two, like so super fast. It's really one of my favorite things about me because people are like, oh, I can't poop like out of my house. Like really? I'm in and out in the work, in a Starbucks. Like I can do it anywhere. That's great. You should be proud. No, I'm not proud per se, but I will say it's something I like about myself and I use to my advantage. You definitely did. You know who was in my dream last night? Our girl. We have so many. Serena Williams.

because you know when you swipe to the left or you swipe right and then you go to the left on your phone, they chose you like a random collection of photos. Yes, of course. What are they called? Moments or? Yeah, memories. Yesterday and the day before, both days I got that picture of me, you and Serena Williams, which you guys know is my Roman Empire as the worst photo ever taken of Claudia Oshry. Mm-hmm.

I was attacked yesterday and the day before. And that's why Serena was in my dreams because I was thinking about her. Got it. Was she apologizing to you? Have you ever seen that photo? No, I don't see it as much as you do. Obviously, your phone knows that it's an important photo to you like in a negative way. But every time you show it to me, like I am a bit staggered. Yeah, no, I'm not being dramatic. I would like to see it again. Okay, let me pull it up. Maybe it's in my moments for today. Like seriously, featured photos. That's what it is.

Like, why is it even maybe you favorited it once just to always reference it. And oh, by the way, that's literally what I did. Because my feature photos are a lot of like photos that you're right. It's literally my third favorited photo. Oh, my God. It's really crazy. That's really bad. Right. And because you look cuter.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. This was obviously a time in my life. And I know you guys would see this photo and I will fucking never show it to you. I know you guys would see this photo and be like, Oh, you hate it. Cause like you're fatter. When I tell you like my weight has nothing to do with what's so ugly with about this photo. First of all, upper lip, where are you to eyeliner? Chill. Like seriously, chill.

three spray tan ever like I'm so desperately in need of a spray tan you know what I'm gonna do you're gonna photoshop it okay I am going to that's okay I'm gonna use like all my apps all my tips like seriously I'm gonna make myself a completely different human being and then I'll post it okay or like just to fulfill some sort of like need inside me to see what this photo really should look like

Or you could just like let it go. No, no. Oh my God. Why on earth? I think a better use of our energy would be like to try and take a new photo with Serena Williams. Oh, I love that idea. I just feel like she's even harder to access now than she was back then. Like we're so lucky to have this photo. She goes to a lot of events and I feel like it's not that uncommon. Like if she were hosting an event that like you would get invited as like an influencer, come meet Serena. Maybe she has a new, um, win beauty line. Yeah. Okay. Like honestly, even this editing is not fucking helping. Yeah.

Like some photos are just truly beyond repair. Let's go a little bit more. Okay. And then there's this like little thing you can do. I can do this later. Don't worry. Yeah. Where I can like make my, where I can just like make my space smaller. Now we've exhausted our 12 minutes of extra time. Oh, okay. That's better. I'll work on it. I'll work on it. Just know like, why don't you delete the picture? No. What would we talk about quarterly if I did? Tariq. Okay. That works for me. I have a purple heart. Anyways, are you joining the military or not?

I love my country, but I actually think I would be doing a disservice with my service. Like I'm the last person who should join the military. Like seriously, the complaining, the food. Like worse than Cadet Kelly. What?

Kelly was like good at her shit. She was a trooper. She had a rough start. I think a lot of young folk do. It's a lot. It's a culture shock. I would never adjust to like all of it. You don't have to wear your hair on like the tightest bun. Like I would have to, I would just be complaining. That part I would like. I would be complaining the whole time about like my headache and then just the clothing. Like I just know it wouldn't fit. Like the waking up early, the, you know, quarters drop on the bed. That part you'd be good at, the making the bed. Yeah, I would. Maybe I could be like the bunk maid or something.

Because like I'm not doing the pushups, but I'll clean the quarters. But you can enlist for like, you can be a cook in the army. You can be a doctor in the army. You don't have to like be like, you know, in battle. And maybe I could be the maid, like the chambermaid. I do think like a good way for us to serve our country. We were actually having this conversation because a lot of military wives are toasters. And there are a lot of toasters in the military. And there are a lot of toasters in the military. But you know, given the gender demographics of our show, like it is more women. And of the army. And of the army. Like, okay, facts. Um.

Like we're not just like making stuff up. I didn't like just want to like stumble into a conversation. I don't want to be here. Yeah. I just, I don't want to be here. I'm leaving. Yeah. Um, but we, what we need to do is a USO tour for the army wives and the female military members who are toasters and the husbands and the men too, if they want to come. I mean, who,

Who needs a laugh more than somebody who's been to Iraq? Like seriously, I agree. It would be the greatest thing we could do for our country. And I don't know, like where do you set those things up? Like just putting it out, like we want to do a USO tour. We'd want to do Jizno live at Fort...

Have you like seen those iconic? I feel like they don't do it so much anymore. It was very much like an early 2000s thing. I feel like post 9-11, everyone like got on board for patriotism. And there are so many iconic photos of like Jessica Simpson, Katy Perry, like all the girlies like wearing really cute like America or camouflage themed outfits, like doing USO tours, just like being beautiful and funny and charismatic and talented for the men and women who serve in our country. No, it's kind of like a gargi pargi thing. I do see it.

sometimes still because I follow Gavin DeGraw and like he really respects our service men and women. So he does like a lot of performances for them. And I think other people do it too, but we've definitely like lost some of that energy. Well, we're available. USO entertainment offices have had a live podcast. I really do think like, of course the military women would love it, but really for like the families. Now let me ask you a question because obviously when you think of like podcasts that should do a live show for the USO tour, like the toast isn't going to be the first. No, it's not the most obvious choice because,

But I think like when you really think about it, you can really make it make sense. And I think we would bring like a lot of laughter and light. Not to be obnoxious. Like, and I don't want it, but I'm just wondering, like, should you get paid for that or no?

I don't know. They kind of have like big budget. It's literally like federal defense fund. Just like I, I just would like a meal stipend or something. I don't know. The military has a big money. We could work it out on the remix. No, the question I was going to ask is like, obviously we don't come to mind. It's like the most obvious choice for a USO tour. What podcast does Joe Rogan? Yeah. I feel like everybody in the army is like real free thinkers. Yeah. But also it's also the number one podcast in the world. So like the odds are that it's the number one podcast in the barracks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. That's true.

That's just like odds making. I think also they would like Huberman. I don't know. I think they would like Theo Vaughn. I think they would like Theo Vaughn too. We're just putting it out there. So if like whoever conducts like the entertainment. I guess they wouldn't like Huberman because Huberman's like, you know, get outside before 7 a.m. And it's like, well, our roll call says we have to be in the bunk at 7 a.m. No, honestly, I think everything Huberman preaches, like our privilege is not afforded to you whilst in the army. But I actually think everything Huberman preaches is probably...

part of the regimen in the army. Like you do get up and see the sun. Of course. You do not have coffee before you eat food. But that's not for wellness. That's just for the schedule. But maybe like the army, like it's trying to get them well and they're on the same page. And they're onto something. Yeah. Like they're living a healthy lifestyle and that's all Huberman's trying to say. They know something we don't know. No, they know like just obvious things that some people need like Huberman to tell them. Wait, there is low key an army base? Yeah.

in the Hamptons yeah there we pass it every time we drive to the West Hampton theater there is it's in West Hampton start our tour there just an idea like we'll never this tour will never break out of West Hampton no matter how hard we try like we want to go national but like the USO needs us in the Hamptons yeah we can't get off Long Island next we'll be at West Point so down I don't think West Point's in Long Island

I think it's very much in Long Island. Really? Didn't you go there? No. On a class trip? Yeah. No, I've never been. You've never been? It's a fabulous place. I could see you like having gone to West Point. Was there anyone in your grade who went to West Point? No. Was there anyone in your grade who went to West Point? Yes. I wonder what, how he's doing. So it's in West Point, New York, which like isn't super helpful. Right, right, right. That's,

I guess we should have gathered that West Point was in West Point. No, like it could have been in Jericho. Yeah. West Point, New York. So it's 95 miles from where we currently are. Yes. And that probably is Long Island. Wait, no, no, no, no. It's like upstate to the left by like Hudson. Oh, beautiful too. Beautiful. Cold spring near there. All's that to say we are available.

and ready to serve our country in whatever and then of course once we're on the base like they'll do like a little like skit for like social media with us where like they make us do like an army crawl like that is like my dream okay i actually did that when i was in israel i went to an idf base and they like put me through one of their like krav maga like sessions and then this obstacle course let me tell you that was seriously one of the hardest shits i've ever done but did they make a tiktok of it

No, we took pictures though. This was kind of before TikTok. Oh, okay. But now you're ready to make a talk. Oh, I'm so ready. Okay. Yeah. So just putting that out there. Have your people contact Bruno. Bruno, he loves service men and women. How are the stories today? They're pretty good. Okay. Like just there's a couple things we need to talk about regarding like pop culture and that's what we're going to do. So I think now without further ado and we already burned the 12 minutes that we had allocated. Yep.

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Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson break up, call off their engagement after seven years together. So this is just breakup season, apparently. Did anybody know that? No, I think. Do you think at all? And maybe I'm just crazy. Like celebrity publicist timeline. Like maybe they've been broken up for a couple of weeks and they haven't. They're looking for the right moment. Oh, Molly Mae and Tommy broke up. Like let's share Foster and Tommy Haas. Like because then they're just sort of grouped in together and you're not thinking about one solo breakup.

In solitude. Perhaps. And I think that these two, like, as much... It's weird because on the one hand, like, they're a long-term relationship. This is sad to see. But I don't know if anybody's, like, personally invested in their relationship. No. Maybe Ellen DeGeneres because you know she, like, sits up and stabs needles of...

into her Dakota Johnson voodoo doll for me and not to make everything about myself. This is crazy for me because you telling me that these people have been together for seven years. Like I remember where I was when I saw the first picture of them. That was seven years ago. Time needs to stop moving so quickly. Time is flying. Seven years. There was something. Oh, you want to hear something crazy that I was just thinking about? I love to hear crazy things that you're thinking about. We have been doing the redheads. Oh, let me guess. Three years.

Our February anniversary will be our five years. Wow. That's a long time. That's a long time for a passion project. And that's a long time for a podcast even. Yes. Well, then I was thinking not to make everything about myself. We were doing this show when Dakota and Chris Martin started dating. So we have literally been doing the show forever. Yeah. Like slay. Not us still crushing it. Yeah. Well, let's talk about that. That's my...

Do we have to? Okay, I do want to talk about them because like a part of me is sad. I feel like they were such a solid couple and they had such a good thing going. And like why after seven years? I know. Like what changed? You knew who he was. You knew who she was. Like you knew like where she would like have a messy bathroom and vice versa. No, I thought that these two were a fabulous couple. I cannot lie. I loved...

the Gwyneth co-parenting, like that whole ecosystem seemed to be going really, really well. I think they're equal levels of fame and wealth. I think they probably have similar personalities. They're both like a little granola, I feel. This was a celebrity couple I barely thought of. Like I didn't think of them every day, maybe not even every week. But every time I did, I'm like, oh, good for them. They were always like solid, doing serious things, blending their families. I feel sorry for Gwyneth because like Dakota is her friend. Yeah. And now it's like, okay, who's Chris gonna bring into the house next? Like, what?

am I going to like this rotating door of women? Am I going to like this person being around my children? Like they had a nice thing going. Now it's destabilized. I don't like destabilization. She doesn't like destabilization. And I don't like anti-disestablishmentarianism, you know? And you're not wrong for that. No, I'm not. People try and tell you like, you should like it. Like, shut up. I know. They're always kind of coming from my neck in the comments. I can't believe Trudy doesn't like anti-disestablishmentarianism. And to that I say. Are you anti-anti-disestablishmentarianism or are you?

Pro-disestablishmentarianism. I am anti-anti-disestablishmentarianism. So you're pro-disestablishmentarianism. Exactly. Although that's not a word. Actually, why wouldn't it be? Why wouldn't it be? It's just, is it the second longest word because it's one letter less than anti-disestablishmentarianism? You mean it's four letters less? No. Pro-

Oh, no, no, but you don't have to be pro. You could just be disestablished. No, pro. Oh my God. And do you know what anti-disestablishmentarianism means? Like communism? Opposition to the disestablishment of the Church of England. Oh, so you are pro-disestablishment. Wait, I don't get it. Wait, no. So we were anti-disestablishment. Like you like the Church of England, right? You have no problem? Do you want to disassemble it? Well, I feel like this is a loaded question. Like I don't know the history. I'm sure there's like stuff in there I don't agree with.

But like the Church of England, no, they're not on my list of nemeses. Right. So you are anti people who want to disestablish it. Yes, I'm an anti-disestablishmentarianist. Great. I learn something new about myself every day here at the Toast. And is it still the longest word in the dictionary? It is estimated to be the sixth longest word in the Oxford Dictionary. Wait, who's going to tell that girl from the Pacifier movie? She's always like anti-disestablishmentarianism. The longest word. Let me say.

Listen, you guys, I can barely pronounce the Majdi Jean. I've got to take the lid off my bread. You work on that. Numano. Ow, you stepped on my toe. Oh my God, my toe is broken. Numano ultramicroscopic silica lavanoniconeosi. That didn't sound right. Numano ultramicroscopic silica vulcaniosis. Literally slate it. Numano.

Numanu ultramicroscopic silico venoliosis. Something of that nature. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I got it. And there's like a... Oh my God, you stepped on my fucking toe again. Someone took the lid off. Oh my God, it's a conspiracy. No, I had texted Ben, but he like... I could sense from his answer like it wasn't perhaps going to happen. So I'm like, I can just...

do it but someone did it it's really a team effort around here so you came and broke my toe twice for no reason yeah but you know what like i burned myself earlier and you don't hear me complaining okay i just want you to know like you got up you like change everything you're literally out of frame like come closer to me i know it pains you i'm literally in frame i always sit on the crack come no no when you sit on the crack you have to be on the other side of the crack i'm there i'm in the frame you're in frame but like not in the way that you need to be

Like my spot is still warm. This is where I sit. Nothing feels different. So back to Dakota and Chris, let me say this. I'm upset. I am like potentially excited about the idea of Dakota being back on the singles list. Cause I think she's fabulous. Like, I think this is another thing I talk about. Not quarterly. I would say like biannually. I really like that bitch. Like I think she's got style. She's got grace. She's got pizzazz. She's one of my favorite Nepo babies. And it's exciting to see what she has up her sleeve.

Yeah, though, I don't know. I feel like she's like a tough, like not what you would think. Like she's going to need like a quirky guy. Like I actually feel like Chris Martin was like the right guy for her. If we went to the same high school, like I probably wouldn't have liked her. Like I don't think we would get along personality wise, but I like what I see from afar. That's how I feel about a lot of people that I like as celebrities. It's like, we're probably not going to, you know, gal around town, but...

I like you from afar. Well, that's also important to remember when you're talking about celebrities who like act or sing is if you went to high school with them, like they would have been in the theater department. And, you know, obviously there's a stereotype and a stigma about those kids. And if you were not of that life, like you probably would have thought they were weird. Yeah. Like at the end of the day, all celebrities, even like the hottest, coolest ones at their core, if they do acting or singing or theater, like at their core, they were like probably like nerdy in high school. You just have to keep that in mind.

And or they've been in Hollywood for so long that they're not real people. Like they don't know how to function. Yeah. That's how I'm feeling. Not to go back because it's not a story today, but like Blake Lively, the interviews that are resurfacing, like her personality in some of these interviews is just like not swirly. No, not at all. And it's like a combination of things. Like one, this is a theater...

an artist like I don't want to hang or talk with an artist okay I do not want to hang or talk with an artist okay yeah and like the way her and Parker Posey are talking oh my god artists talking about their like nonsense art like I don't want to be a part of the conversation I don't even want to hear the conversation by the way we're not gonna like get into it but that Parker Posey thing was a major throwback I'm like Josie and the Pussycats yeah I was oh my god I couldn't

- Josie and the Pussycats. - Place her. - She's like the main manipulator. - Of course, she's the main manipulator. - I wanna say this 'cause I have long been up until the saga like Team Blake and those interviews that have been resurfacing like are genuinely cringe, especially that one with the baby bump. That one Parker Posey is horrible. People are like pulling videos. A lot of videos have gone viral and I don't think they're as harmful as people say they are like the friendship bracelet as at the, it ends with us premiere. Somebody gave her a bracelet. She was like, "Oh my God, thank you so much. "I'm gonna give it to my whatever "'cause it doesn't go with my outfit."

Like fine. And then like people are like, that's so rude because other people put them on like directly. Okay. - No, like literally she's dressed to the nines. This is her big night. She doesn't wanna wear your ugly bracelet. Like stop. Why would she wear your like homemade bracelet? - Not only that, like that didn't bother me at all. The Parker Posey one is different.

But I am not into this thing where we now go back and like assess people's behavior from the last 30 years. To me, even the most amazing person on the planet, everybody has bad moments, right? And it's unfortunate that so many of these were filmed. But you're going to pluck every single one. So say, and by the way, if there's like four or five over the last 15 years of her career, that's actually like not a lot. But then to draw this correlation when it's like, but what about all the other stuff? Does that prove your point? If not, like then your point,

You've got a problem, but I don't like going to old interviews to make your point from today, especially all of those interviews were public. You saw them. At the time. If you did not have a problem with them at the time, and no one did, and there was never this narrative of Blake Lively that she's like rude or whatever. No one had a problem with these interviews. Like to now...

them against her for this larger point. Like the argument doesn't land for me. Although I will say, just to correct you, that Parker Posey one was uploaded to YouTube two days ago. The entertainment journalist who's, I think she's European and she's like kind of a, like

like a juliana ransack if you will she just uploaded she must be having the time of her life because she obviously fucking hates and she uploaded being like this is the interview that like literally made me want to quit my job i do believe this is the first time it's ever hit the interwebs she never published it would you i mean that's so what they got an interview with blake lively and then they don't put it out i think really i think she literally was uploaded to youtube like this week

Maybe like again, but it never came out for the first time. I don't think so. That's so crazy. Because it was just... Like why even?

Now watching it, we see that it's because Blake looks bad, but like, why would they not post that? That's interesting too. And then she did another interview right after, like she was sitting and doing interviews all day. Like where are all those interviews? What was she like in those interviews? Anyways, all's to say, yeah, two artists talking about their art, like no thanks, unsubscribe. Like that's not for me. And also that one was like a Woody Allen movie. So it wasn't like a Deadpool. It was like, so there's like cafe society. But that actually, that makes it like more insufferable. Like, but at least they're talking about like something different.

Like that and not a Deadpool, like non-serious movie. At least like Woody Allen, like they're all taking their stuff so seriously. Yeah. She was in a Woody Allen movie? I guess so. That's kind of crazy. I didn't know that. That's so interesting. Anyways, all's to say, yet stop being surprised when celebrities have bad personalities.

they're literally theater geeks they're theater geeks who like have been like oh by the way they're theater geeks who have their whole life been dismissed mocked whatever and now they're cooler famous and more rich than everyone who's ever been mean to them like of course and i feel like for blake i feel like for blake live i actually feel like maybe she wasn't a theater geek i feel like she was so gorgeous and beautiful like she later graduated high school and then was in sisterhood of the traveling pens and she was probably like the most popular girl in her high school

Also that person like can't talk to them. You can't talk to them. And now she's been in Hollywood for over 15 years. Like she was Serena. She's Ryan Reynolds' wife. Like she's the most, she's the pageant queen. Like stop.

Stop Taylor Swift's best friend. Expecting her to be a relatable person. So true. Even though I feel like what I've learned about her through this process, which like seriously, I wasn't someone who kept up with her up before a week ago. It's that there are a lot of parts of her life that are deeply related, but like you wouldn't think she would be such a hands on mom and such. Like they say, she's like a full working mom. Like she works full time and she's also a full time caretaker. So I feel like there are actually a lot of things about her that you wouldn't expect. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

Looks like that crisis PR that Justin Baldoni hired is working. Now that you're like in it a little bit more, do you see, like, I feel like the, everyone has side, like Blake Lively is a, they're trying to cancel Blake Lively right now. Like, I feel like Justin Baldoni has won. It's ongoing. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, the allegations about the battle, but the war is ongoing. Yeah. Because there were allegations that came out about him, but they were small. And I think the internet kind of shrugged them off that like he made comments about Blake Lively's weight and that he lingered when they had like kissing scenes, she felt uncomfortable because he like kissed her like way past what was necessary. So I saw that. And of course, and like she's postpartum and, and of course that like raises the hair on the back of your neck. Like you don't make a comment. And then I saw that like he was asking what her weight was because he has to pick her up in a scene and he has back problems. Like,

shut up. Okay. If you can't like pick up a lady, it doesn't matter if she lost the last 10 pounds, you can't pick her up. What's the difference? Don't be the big strong man. I don't want a leading man with back problems. No. And I just want to say like, and now, yes, I am firmly team Blake. So maybe you guys are going to be like Claudia, you're being crazy. But like, I want to say this is a man who all he does is wake up and care about women. Right. That's what people say about him. And he obviously knows the first rule of women. You don't ask their weight. Right. So it's like you, if you can, if you love women so much, like you should,

an injury before asking anyone. And he didn't ask Blake directly. He went about it in the proper channels. Like he asked like the worst,

He has the coordinator. Worst to everyone on set talking about her weight. Right, right. So I just want to say like, you care about women so much, you risk an injury. You risk paralysis of your back before asking a woman's weight, especially a woman who just had her fourth child. Yeah. But like, I'm sorry if you like can't do the dirty dancing move, like you can't play the lead. Then you're not a leading man. In my romantic film. You are not a leading man. If you need to know how much a woman weighs before, if you can lift her up, like you can't lift up any women. Yeah. Fired. So I saw that and.

And the lingering kiss thing. But these are like, those are the big charges. I actually saw a good theory that was like, I think Justin leaked those things because it makes Blake look bad that like the whole cast and crew was against Justin for like these two small things. That can really be explained away. Like for real. Yeah. Like lingering on a kiss too much. I can see that. That's not a thing. They're doing a kissing movie. If you don't like kissing, don't do the movie. And maybe you should be like that actor from Desperate Housewives who doesn't kiss anyone who isn't his wife.

Every day I wake up and think about that guy and he makes more and more sense to me. Like watching Blake and Ryan on a red carpet for a movie where she is intimate with like two men who like seriously look like him or his same age and like why not him? It's so weird to me. Agreed. It's so weird that Ryan Reynolds interviewed Brendan Sklarner. Sklanar, yeah. It's so weird to me. No, that guy, he's onto something. Yeah.

He's really onto something. It's so weird. And don't get me twisted. Like I'm becoming a movie star. Like I'm taking all the roles. Ben's becoming a movie star. You're the guy from Mr. Housewives. Could you imagine kissing another guy for a movie? Oh, it like seriously gives me the willies. It's so weird. That's why I'm saying like stop expecting actors and actresses to like be simpatico with the lay people. They're not. They kiss people that aren't their husbands and then make their husbands go interview them. These are obviously people who are deeply unwell. Like they're just different. Different.

- Built different for the art, okay? - So that wasn't a story, but like there's your catch up. - There's your catch up. Chris and Dakota are done. Like seriously, check on Gwyneth. - Love is dead. - Love died this week. That's for sure. - Who am I? - Love, rip love this week. Still no update on Nellie Mae and Tommy. We wait and we pray. Are you ready for our next story? - Yes.

Two great people coming together, not romantically, but musically. Even better. Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars dropped a collab song last night called Died With The Smile. So Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars just woke up and decided like, let's have a great day. To be gift givers. Like, let's make today a great day for everyone. It's Bruno Weinreb's birthday. Bruno Weinreb is named after Bruno Mars because that's Zach and I's favorite artist together. Together.

and he was like, happy birthday, Bruno. Here's a new song with Lady Gaga, Bruno's mommy's favorite artist. To be honest, like these are two people who haven't released new music in a really long time. And there's like a lot of anticipation for both of them. So for them to have come at it together, and these are two people who are deeply talented when it comes to performing, songwriting, vocals. You actually, there isn't enough hype for this. And I love that they didn't see that coming in three weeks.

Oh, we're releasing a song. You have a few hours to get ready. I loved every part of this. Yeah. And then the song itself, I've listened to it once. Musically, so good. They sound so good. I could see it's like slow and fast. It's great. And I know that it's going to grow on me. And this is what they said about their collaboration. I didn't even know these two like knew each other. I know. Gaga said, Bruno and I have a lot of mutual respect for each other. And we're talking about collaborating. This is literally something I would say. Yeah.

I was finishing up my own album in Malibu. And one night after a long day, Bruno asked me to come to his studio to hear something he was working on. It was around midnight when I got there and I was blown away when I heard what he had started making. Do you think it was Silk Sonic? Like that's what he had played for her.

Or the collab? No, I think this is like future stuff. Gaga said she and Mars both stayed up all night to finish writing and recording the instantly timeless ballad. She said Bruno's talent is beyond explanation. It's so true. His musicians... Did she say anything about Romeo in there?

His musicianship and vision is next level. You hear that? There's no one like him, she said. This is why it's so important to live in a good neighborhood because you never know who's going to text you in the middle of the night being like, hey, can you come by and help me out with this thing? Next thing you know, you're on this huge feature. Yeah. This is probably why my music career hasn't taken off because I don't live in Malibu. This is a standalone single rather than the first taste of an upcoming album by either of them. But this shows that they were both working on music when they worked on this together. So,

Like, not only do we have this collab right now, we also have the promise of a new Lady Gaga and a new Bruno Mars album. And that's what the world... The world actually needs a new Bruno Mars album. Yeah. Bruno Mars can unite the world. He's the only one. We also have, like, a referendum on Bruno Mars every couple of months and perhaps now is the time. I don't want to talk about where has he been and his gambling debts. No, and that's all rumors. And, you know, we never give into rumors here. But I was going to say... But honestly, it's like his namesake who's fallen into major debt. I...

Remember a time when like Bruno Mars, remember that year where he won every single Grammy and then like seriously went on tour for four years for the same album. Like they don't make albums like that anymore where you have an album so good that of course you sweep it, but that you can seriously tour and make millions and millions off of it for years to come. Silk Sonic obviously was like cool, but not great.

At that level. And I think it was a fun passion project for him. I don't think the two of them are like a duo for life. And I liked, you know, that one part. This bitch got me paying the rent, paying for trips, diamonds on her neck, diamonds on her wrist. Like I loved it.

But I need the Bruno, you know, the Bruno. And I love how Bruno doesn't like play these Hollywood games. Like he just kind of like does his own thing. Like I love him. No, I absolutely love and adore him. Like everything he does puts a smile on my face. And it makes sense that his song is called Die With A Smile.

And I just think when he was born and growing up, he was probably like, oh my God, like why am I short? Like he would probably like, it's a huge, he's really, he's probably my height. Like he is super, super short. And I think his whole life, it was probably this thing that plagued him. Like as being, you know, being a man, the worst thing you can be is short. Like you can be seriously like the ugliest person alive. But if you're six feet, like girls are like, oh my God.

And now with retrospect, I'm sure he understands why he, but he would be too powerful. Like he's super handsome. Yeah. Super talented. You can't be all of those things. If he was tall. Or maybe if he was tall, he would have just like rested on that. Cause he's like so good looking and then he'd be tall and he'd be like, okay, everybody loves me. And he has a good voice. Like, so we would get girls. Yeah. But like, you know, having to prove himself. Yeah.

It was the best thing that ever happened. Proveth maketh man. If he had been a foot taller, he wouldn't be Bruno Mars. He would just be some guy. He probably would like sing at like a local cafe, you know, weekly. And get like lots of girls and say, this is the life. Hold on tight. He probably had like 11,000 Instagram followers, you know, guys like that. Yeah. And verified because he bought it. No. And like, yeah, he would have some shirtless pics. Yeah.

Oh, bought verification. Agreed. Not bought followers. Like he would have 11,000 solids. He would have 11,000 solids like from local community events. But his verification would be because he paid for it, not because...

Not because he earned it. He has so many like fake accounts of him that they don't know which one's the real Bruno. So all's to say. Thank you. Thank you. To Gaga and Bruna. Exciting. We're going to be blasting it this weekend. Oh, yeah. Are you ready for our next story, which is a little more music news? Number three? Yeah. Yeah. So even though we are a part of Big Katie, we are going to share negative news about her because a probe has been launched into Katy Perry over her illegal video shoot in Ibiza. Wait, what?

The authorities in Spain are investigating U.S. pop stars. This bitch can't catch a break. Let me tell you, they are after Katie. They're investigating her team due to a music video shot illegally in a nature reserve on Ibiza. Oh, no. The one thing you cannot fuck with is nature. It's true. The producers of the video had not applied for a filming permit, according to the Balearic Islands Ministry of Environment in Palma on the main island of Mallorca. They're not wrong for that. Peri filmed the video for her new single Lifetimes on Ibiza and the neighboring island of Formentera. The singer...

Was initially unavailable for comment due to the filming carried out without permission. Preliminary investigations have been initiated, the ministry said. However, the authority emphasized that in principle, no environmental offense suspected as photo and video recordings in the affected nature park are permissible with prior permission. In the video, she can be seen in the holiday spirit running and dancing through the dunes, jumping from rocks into the Mediterranean Sea or partying in clubs. OK, what does this remind you of?

Vanessa Hudgens carving her name into a tree. Jackie, we literally have the same brain. I can't believe you said that. We do the same thing every single day. We know the same stories. Remember when Austin Butler and Vanessa Hudgens were like the best couple ever and they were just living their life posting on Instagram. They carved their initials into a tree. Turns out the tree they carved it into was like a part of this nature preserve. It was like a thousand year old tree and I think they had to pay a fine. They got in so much trouble and they had to delete the Instagram. This reminds me of that. Although it sounds like she didn't do any damage and the part that she filmed in is a part you can film in. You just need proper

credentials. Yeah, but it's crazy to film a music video without a permit. No, no, no. And it's like, okay, independent artists, yeah, they're like running in the middle of the night to the nature preserve, like filming on an iPhone. You literally are one of the biggest artists in the world. Like get the fucking permit. Yeah. You need a permit for everything. Unexcusable. And let me just say this, in my adult life, like I have come to really respect and

And be grateful for like these nature preserves. There's one nearby here. I've been going to it, like going on hikes. So they're so well taken care of because of annoying rules like this. And you can't just like pull up with a crew and start filming in my hiking path. Like I actually, I think these rules are in place for a reason. And so many of the most beautiful parts of this country of this planet are what they are because there are like, you know, committees, uh,

dedicated to taking care of it. And I'm sorry, these rules need to be abide by not to be like a Karen and an arc, but they do. Yeah, I agree. So do better. Katie literally do better. Although lifetimes so good. So I really like the sound of new Katie sound. I know what you're going to say. I bet I don't know what surface lyrics. Like she says nothing in the music. Fine.

by me like I don't need all of my music to like go beneath the surface we have Taylor for that yeah we have a lot of deep music like sometimes I just need a bop um the visuals like I'm not like loving the visuals so like this video I barely even saw it like everything is just like her running around in a bathing suit like it's not doing it for me I agree with also I meant to tell you about a song that you need to listen to because I know like you've sort of and you've sort of like not

been hit with chapel roan and the more i think about it like there's a lot of chapel run music like i don't think you would like pink pony club like that's your new song okay just add it to your list okay when we dance at the club like trust okay i'll think about it just do it my bread was taken out thank you like remember when i put you on to megan maroney was i wrong about that no you weren't you weren't are you ready for our fourth story yeah

Are you sure? Oh my God, no. I didn't think you were. Are you? I wasn't. But then you say you were, so I said, okay. Our fourth story that's brought to you by KiwiCo. They're delivering seriously fun learning for kids of all ages through hands-on projects and activities. Yes. So basically each month, kids are going to receive crates packed with engaging hands-on activities designed to introduce them to exciting science, technology, and art concepts.

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Thank you, Sash Turd. You're welcome. Our next story, Taylor Swift is back doing shows. So she did London Wembley Stadium last night, brought out Ed Sheeran. Very exciting. Did like a little medley of all the songs they've done. It's so funny. It's like all my least favorite Taylor songs are the Ed collabs. Like I don't like any of them except Endgame.

everything has changed oh i do i like everything has changed i really like like that little rap oh my god and i got to put my shoulders reputation like that song is actually it and the performance in the reputation tour like really gave me a new respect for that song like that song is good oh wow okay that is so funny it's not my favorite like forever winter that um red

bonus track what are they called vault song with ed sheeran like not my favorite did they sing that too no that was everything has changed an end game and then thinking out loud oh yeah yeah his song like that not hers yeah yeah really cute and that's her friend and he's british so yeah that's fun oh my god and like who is like more important to the british people that's like

If you were there, that's probably the best thing to ever happen to a British person. Yeah, and I do feel like she usually brings out people of lesser star quality. Collaborators who are not on her level. Yeah, like people who have opened for her. Yep. To bring out someone so major. That's pretty freaking cool. Okay. There is also a lot of people talking about this. This is obviously the first show she's done since the Vienna cancellation. And since the...

Is it the first show since The Stabbing? I'm not sure. I feel like no. I think maybe like Munich or one of those, Warsaw. Warsaw, yeah. That was weird, Warsaw. So there's just like been a lot of like hype obviously for this, but also like given the context of what's going on in Ulm, which I came before literally. And she did, she got like a little tear in the opener. Like if you look at some of the Getty images and she like took a moment to like look around, which she always does, but she's very like, she's

She doesn't cry, but she has watery eyes. Tears in her eyes. Emo. Emo. I mean, it's emotional. Yeah, it's a lot. And also, so she's in London. The stabbing was in the UK. She's also been met privately with the families of the victims of the stabbing attack.

Which we knew she would. She's not like obnoxious. She's not going to post like pictures with everyone in the hospital beds. Like she moves quietly and she does the right thing always. And she goes above and beyond. So like that's on her mind. Plus the fact that like all of this was, you know, in someone's,

view to harm these people. Like it's a lot to take in. And, and then also she's emerging like triumphant. This is a huge, huge moment. This is like her sixth show at Wembley. She's like making rec. No, I don't know how you don't cry. It's emotional. I don't know how you don't cry after Vienna. Like nothing even happened to Vienna, but like you think about the magnitude of what it had happened and you know,

it's literally like I don't know how Ariana Grande like ever got out of bed after what happened like it's the the weight of that is so and I'm sure it's every artist's worst nightmare like when you get to a level like you become a target no matter what like when you get to a certain level and like obviously the gratitude you feel that it didn't happen but also like the worry for every single show and I know that they stepped up their security precautions and I'm sure moving forward it'll be even you know harder to get tickets and harder to what like but

Like, how can you not cry? Yeah. And I'm so glad, you know, everything was good, yada, yada. But yeah, Pitt, Pitt, USA, like forever. Yeah. But night one, great. Looking forward to see what she has in store for the rest of Wembley. There are certain cities that are Taylor Swift coded. Like New York is one of them. You know, when you're at a show, that's why we went to Nashville. Like, obviously we love Nashville, but it's a very Taylor show.

City, LA, Nashville, London, New York, pretty much anywhere she has a house. Yeah. Boston. You know that these are, and all Taylor shows are big. That's not a thing. But you know that like something major is going to happen. But also like there are so many of these cities that have songs about them. Like it's just, there's so much lore. Of course, every city is Gargi. Paris. Right. And then given the amount of shows that you do, like I don't even think anything's so crazy about LA when it comes to Taylor, but-

She did like eight shows. So, you know, that's like a special city in London. It's just one of those cities. Obviously she loves London boy. She has a million songs with London in the title and all of her friends. She spent like years living there. So I think tonight we'll probably get something else. Maybe reputation. There's a lot of people are really waiting for reputation. I'm not like the re-recordings are amazing. I love what they've done for Taylor's career, but like personally, I don't need, I don't need them right now. I need new music. Yeah. Not even cause we have TT. I'm satisfied. Yeah.

I still haven't listened to the second half of TTPD. It's so crazy. Like I've heard some of the songs, but it's better. It's better. You're being insane. I've heard some of the songs and it wasn't enough to make me like, I'm like, I keep going back to starting at the beginning of the album, which for me is the song TTPD because Fortnite is a skip. Wow. Even though they mentioned move to Florida, buy the car you want. That's literally your life story. Yeah.

Give it a chance the second half. Like I'm telling you, you're wrong. No, I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just saying like I haven't made it there yet. No, no. And I had the same experience like the first couple of days. I was like, I kept starting at the top and then I knew like the first, you know, half of songs so well and I didn't even know. But now when I listen to the album, I start halfway. It's better. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Well, I have that experience waiting for me. You just said you want new music. I have new Taylor music. So true. When you move slow, like you always have new music. I have so much new music waiting for me. Yeah. So are you ready for our fifth story? Yeah. A little exciting hosting news, actually, because Eugene and Dan Levy are officially set as the hosts of the Emmys.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, with less than a month to go before the 76th Emmy Awards, the telecast hosts are finally set. As expected, the father-son duo of Eugene Levy and Dan Levy. I think they're like Levy, but I'm sorry. Like L-E-V-Y, your name is Levy. No, by the way, they are 1000% Levy because they're Canadian. But like as Jews, like we know it's a Jewish last name, like Levy. They're like trying to run from it. Stop, you're Levy, you're Jewish. Stop. Literally, Levy. Levy. Stop. Like, stop. What are you doing? Yeah.

I like this, by the way. They will emcee this year's Emmys, which take place on Sunday, September 15th, live on ABC. This is great. They kind of cover all bases with this. Like Eugene Levy is like so old school, so respected. Dan Levy is like new Hollywood nepo. Like it's really, I think this is good, even though it's like a thankless job that everybody fails at. And like who the fuck would ever accept this? Like Eugene Levy doesn't need this grief. No, I think this is good. I don't think they will fail. Like they are so beloved that I think even if they flopped, like

it would take a while for people to see it. And I don't think they'll flop because they are so intrinsically talented. I think having two hosts, you can really lean on each other and like it takes away some of the like, like,

The weight and the pressure, you know, if it doesn't go well, it's a 50-50. And I think this is like a really good idea. I agree. And I think it has maximum potential for success. I also like the... This is not an obvious choice. We usually pluck from the same pool of late night hosts. If your name's not Jimmy, good luck. Literally. And the same pool, very small pool of comedians. That's why Joe Coy was kind of like a rogue choice because... Yeah, that was crazy. I know. And it sucks because...

It should have worked because like, he is not one of these stereotypical comedians who just like regurgitate the same, like talking points. Like he's kind of a renegade. He says crazy things. And if he had crushed it, it would have been really good, but he obviously didn't. Um,

so I like that they're pulling from a new group of people it's like enough already with the same four people yeah so I like that part of this yeah I I think it has really good potential and there's like a lot of demand for Eugene and Dan because you know Schitt's Creek like ended before it had to so they left us wanting more which is a great you know position to be in and I think anytime they do stuff together people eat it up because we need them we want them yeah but I want to know like what the relationship is like with that other sister like why did she kind of get the

boot like why wasn't she alexis first of all and i have no complaints like alexis annie she was amazing like i don't want it any other way but she got this kind of like low level role when everybody else in the family got like starring roles she never gets marketed as like the people are shocked to find out that twyla is dan levy's sister eugene's daughter i don't think that they've shafted her like i think it's also probably something she wants okay like i just does nobody else think it's weird i do and if i'm twyla like i'm pissed

But she wound up being a main character anyway. I don't even know her name. I don't even know her name. I don't know. Sarah Levy. Her name is Twyla. Her name is Twyla. Also, something else I wanted to talk about. I'm so glad I remembered.

Something happened this week on The Bachelor that we have to talk about. Oh my God, yes. Because someone sent it to me. So I'm going to take it from the top. I'm going to go to this DM because the person like sent me literally everything that I needed to know. I had seen the clip on TikTok and I was like, oh, I love that. There's a Jewish contestant and he's like sharing about his history. He has like obviously ancestors who survived the Holocaust. There's a Jewish contestant on The Bachelor. His name is Jeremy Symon.

And he finally got a chance to solidify his connection with Jen. One-on-one. Who's a bachelorette. He had a one-on-one. They discussed their potential future together and he opened up about his Jewish heritage. He said, being Jewish culturally is very important to me. I don't expect you to convert. I don't need you to convert, but eventually I do want kids. He then went on to explain, trust, like you guys pay attention. Because this play is about us. Seriously, pay attention. This is like the craziest thing.

He then went on to explain that he wants his kids to have some sort of Jewish identity to honor where they've come from and the violence and oppression that Jews have faced in the past. So he said that his grandmother, her grandfather was Rabbi Avram Dov Ber-Kana Shapiro. And he was a very famous rabbi in Lithuania who died in the country because he wouldn't leave during World War II. So let me tell you, when I saw this clip, I was like, oh my God, me and this guy, Jeremy, like we have very similar backgrounds because our family is,

Our ancestors are in Lithuania. And especially in like the rabbinical Jewish community. We are obviously very proud of Rabbi Efraim Ostryan, ancestor of ours, who made huge, huge, he's like literally famous, during and after the Holocaust. He survived. He wrote this book. And I was like, oh, look at us, me and Jeremy. So...

So Jeremy's grandmother's grandfather, Rabbi Abraham, was the last chief rabbi of Kavno and the author of a three-volume collection of books. And then on his Wikipedia page, Jeremy's

Grandmother's grandpa. Isn't that just a... Why do we keep saying grandma's grandpa? It's your great-great-grandpa. Yeah, something like that. One of his students, on his Wikipedia page, one of his students included Ephraim Asheri, author of Shalos Uchuvos Mamakim. So it's Respansa was the name of his book. He wrote a book of questions that he got during the Holocaust because he was the...

He was like the rabbi of the ghetto. Like they rounded up all these Jews who were like practicing Jews, giving them no food or water or places to sleep. And they're like, how do we do our customs without challah, without candles, without literally anything? Yeah. And so he wrote down all of the questions and the answers that he gave them. I think he like buried them. Buried them in milk cans, like in the ghetto. He survived the war. He went back home.

retrieved those like milk cans that he had literally buried into the ground and then published everything that he had experienced and wrote. I wrote about this in my book if you guys are curious about it. Or you could read his book. Like what if you just ordered Rabbi Friar Moshra's book? Yeah, it's called Responsa in English, the translation. It's actually really hard to find. There's like, it's like thousands of dollars because like everybody wants that. Yeah, that's our ancestry. We are like literally elite in that sense.

and very proud and so crazy. So proud. And for sure. We need to contact Jeremy. We are related to Jeremy Simon because if you think about it, like, Oh my God, we are. If his, like his ancestor was the, just listen, if his answer was the chief rabbi and then our ancestor was a very high up rabbi, then they would have made a shit off for sure.

What's his last name? Simon. I'm just going to ask Olivia. She would know. Like, she actually did our family tree. We need to find his family tree. But wait, but also the name of his ancestor was Duber Kahana Shapiro. Oh, my God. Olivia and Shapiro. Shapiro.

Okay. Is there a Simon family or Shapiro family? Dove Bear Khan Shapiro. On our family tree. Olivia would know. She's like always keeping records of it, which is so good. I'll send this to Olivia too. Tell her to get to work. Claudia and I were chuckling because I didn't see the clip where he explains this to Jen, but I'm sure Jen was like, okay. No, no, she actually wasn't. I want to say everything I, I don't, I'm not watching, but everything I've seen of Jen, obviously that Kelly Ripa moment that went viral, I loved.

She was super respectful. I don't know if she really cared. I don't even know if she likes this guy, so I don't have context. But I thought she was super respectful. He was obviously talking about some really heavy things with the Holocaust. It's a lot. It's a lot. On a date, nonetheless. On The Bachelor. But I just want to shout out. Jeremy. Even if she doesn't like him. Yeah. I'll only like Jen if she marries him. I want to shout out her for giving a one-on-one to him where he was able to tell his story. And thank you to The Bachelor producers for including it because it was so cool to see.

Major, major. You know, they could have cut that out. Of course. In these trying times. Yeah, but I mean...

like why is he on the bachelor if he's like like with his important jewish faith like yeah no and also like if you're like a breathing jewish man like and you want to get married it's literally not hard i know a million jewish girls who would love to date you and he should get together with ariel frankel who is like the most amazing jewess from the bachelor if it doesn't work out with jen you know i

I didn't, when I'm on the clip, I saw like, I didn't see sparks. She didn't like him. Yeah. I didn't see like crazy sparks. I'm not going to lie. I won't be surprised if he gets sent home soon. Obviously not the week where he talks about the Holocaust, not the one-on-one week. Cause then he gets at home on the date and he got a rose from his date or else he would get sent home. I don't think it's like, I didn't see, you know, but I agree him and Ariel Frankel should definitely get together. I'm obsessed. That was really cool. I liked that. Thank you to the toaster who shared that with Jackie. Yes. Oh my God. Like seriously. And it was only one person. So if she hadn't, we would have never put it together. Love that.

Like seriously, love you guys. Like I just thought that was so cool. So cool. That's our show. That's our week. We'll see all the swirlies in Atlantic City tomorrow. We're so excited about that. And then we kick off next week, our final week before we take one week off hiatus, you know, summer break. We'll be back, you know, moving. Let's not talk about that.

So we'll see you tomorrow, IRL. And if not, we'll see you back in studio on Monday. We love you guys so much. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast on Monday morning show where we deliver the five-star stories you need to remember Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast on any podcast you can find. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Video, Iroquois, Fox, all the places where you listen to podcasts. That's the Toast on the Five Star Review. I bet it's beautiful. I bet it's stunning. I bet how wickedly talented we are. Love ya. Bye.