Shakespeare, Roosevelt and The Rizzler: Tuesday, September 24, 2024
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Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to The Toast and happy Tuesday! Speaking of the one I love to choose, it's Jacqueline Follet. Hello, Jacqueline. How are you today? Hi, Turteloo. That's actually so nice because if you listen to yesterday's episode and then go right into today's episode, we kind of leave off on a fight. And then to know that today I'm the one that you choose, not that you really have a choice, but let's just go with it. It's beautiful. It's giving sisters...

It's giving sisterly things. That clip from our little fight yesterday had me seriously in tears. Do you feel this call? Isn't it so crazy that we are sisters? Because we're so many things to each other, right? We are business partners. I would say that we're like kind of best friends. But we also like are family members.

Yeah, it is crazy to think about. And I'm sure there is one person out there right now, at least one, who did not know that we were sisters until this very moment. Claudia and I are sisters. Same mom, same dad. Blood. 100% sisters. And it's very wonderful. 100%? 100%? No. No?

100%. And there might be one person out there listening that doesn't know I released two amazing songs, both sort of anthems of this brand and this show. One is called Toast and one is called 100%. You can stream them wherever you stream your music and just add to my billions of downloads, you know? And there might be one person out there listening who doesn't know that I wrote a children's book last year.

And I've actually been having a renaissance with The Camper and The Counselor because before it came out, I read it to Harry 10 times a day. It was his favorite book. And then like all things with kids, like we moved on, but it's coming back into the fold. I read it yesterday, like start to finish. Like it's so, so good. And if you're looking for a children's book for your little one that rhymes, that has a really good message, great pictures, it's

The Camper and the Counselor by Jax. I feel like there might be one person out there that doesn't know that I also wrote a book, not for children, for adults. It's a memoir of sorts. It's kind of a memoirs of eternity. It's memoirs of eternity. It's called Girl With No Job, The Crazy Beautiful Life of an Instagram Thirds Monster. And it just tells my story of how I got to be where I'm at. Fun celebrity tidbits, you know, girl boss things. I think that you really enjoy it. A lot of people did. It made the New York Times bestsellers list. So you can get it anywhere you get your books.

if you're interested. I actually think that there might be one or more people out there who don't know how we got started doing this podcast. And I'm saying that in earnest and probably that's like a question. How'd you start the podcast? What made you start it? That's all in Claudia's book. Like it is covered. So if you've been curious about the genesis of La Toast. I didn't even pay her to say that, you guys. Yeah, no, but I feel like that's a logical question if people stumble upon this podcast. Like how, what kind of business is y'all in?

What kind of business y'all in?

That was so funny. Claudia and I were in a meeting. We were? We were in a meeting like a week or two ago and we were telling someone. Was it Zoom or IRL? Zoom. We were telling someone. Wait, if I tell you this story, you'll probably remember what I got to say. We were telling someone how like we're really in like hustling season. Like we're really like crushing it and like we're just working really hard. And it's like what we said and we carried on with the conversation. And then she was like, so what

when you say we're hustling, like what are we hustling? And we're like, yeah, no, that was really giving. It's just like a mindset. It's a mindset. We invented post-its. We did. We invented podcasting for the girls. That's for sure.

Yeah, amongst the pioneers. But you know, Heather McDonald, she makes it hard to say we invented it. So true. We literally didn't. Yeah, no, she was here before us. Yeah, it's ahistorical because of her. So true. She's getting in the way of us making her history. We also, low-key, haven't even been nearly as annoying as we could have been. Because tomorrow we're announcing something really fun. We've sort of been teasing it. If you've been paying attention, you might know. But if you... We've really not been teasing it. We've been lightly alluding to...

All that to say, announcement Wednesday. Just get ready for Friday. The announcement tomorrow will get you ready for Friday, if that makes sense. I guess it does make sense. It sounds annoying, but classic us. Yeah, no, we haven't been annoying as much as we could be. Also, that's classic podcasting influencer content creator. Like, get ready for Wednesday because something's coming on Friday that you'll be able to do next week. The Prevacify banter this morning thus far has been extremely self-promotional. Just taking note of the content.

I understand that. Yeah. I feel like it had a comedic flair, so it wasn't all bad. It had a comedic flair for sure. And I feel like there might be one person out there that doesn't know that we run a Patreon. I mean, where you get more content. We beat you guys over the head with it. It's like, I don't know how you wouldn't, but yes, there might be one person.

Where you get more content from your girls. That's all I'll say. Yeah. Now we can talk about things. For the price of a cup of coffee. Promoting other people, which is what we do all day long. So true. It's exhausting sort of being this machine. So who do you want to promote? Probably myself, you know? What did yourself do? Oh, I laid in bed and rotted watching Gilmore Girls yesterday. I also made a beef stew. Did you though? No.

- Good you. - Jackie has this beef stew recipe. Now, I feel like there might be one person in the world who doesn't know the history of beef stew on this show. There was a time period where Jackie was obsessed with making beef stew. I think she was breastfeeding and she found it to be good for her supply. Not only was she making beef stew a lot, she was talking about it a lot. That was just this place in my life where I could not receive the chatter about beef stew. I was being really negative about it, really toxic. Every time she talked about it on the toast, I rolled my eyes and did everything I could to change the subject.

And then lo and behold, a couple of months later, Jackie and I were on vacation together in the mountains. It was very, you know, stewy vibes. And she was like, let me make the stew. And again, I was just railing on her. We actually vlogged the whole experience on our Patreon. And I finally had the stew that she had talked about like probably for a year. And it was unbelievably delicious. And I, of course, I kind of put in my mouth. It was great. Okay. Another thing I was wrong about.

So yesterday, as of yesterday, it is so fall. It's so chilly in New York. It's amazing. It's been kind of cloudy. So yesterday I was like, all right, I'm whipping out my crock pot, my first crock pot of the season. What should I make? And I'm like, well, you know, let's do the beef stew. How different can it be? Jackie makes it on the stove. I make it in the crock pot, but like whatever. And I just like didn't follow any of Jackie's rules. I just threw everything on the ingredient list in the crock pot at once, put it on like high and thought in four hours it would be ready.

It was disgusting. Ben at like six o'clock was like, listen, we're going to have to eat at eight. He took it off the crock pot, put it on the stove and just like did like his chefy thing. Like added a bunch of seasonings, more tomato paste, couple of, you know, cups of red wine. And at eight o'clock we ate. It needed like four more hours. It was fine. It was fine. I'm curious though. You did sear the meat.

So you followed that step. But like, I'm curious, because we couldn't figure it out amongst ourselves. Maybe people will let us know, like, why didn't that work in the crock pot? Isn't that what a crock pot's for? Or is crock pot not for soupy sales? Like, if you can't make a stew in the crock pot, like, what the hell is this appliance for? I do think, like, me starting at 2 o'clock and hoping to eat at 6 or 7, I think I was thinking, you know, too small. I think it needs to be in at like 8 a.m. And then by dinner time, it's ready. Like, it's really a slow cooker. Four hours is not slow. Yeah, even on high. Right. Right.

Okay, so maybe that was the issue. You just didn't leave it long enough. But I saw what was like in your crock pot and that was just...

Not my dish. Oh my God. This is not my plate. It looked like something they serve in prison. Like clear brown liquid. I was going to say like Game of Thrones. Like, you know, go to the ale house. Yeah, yeah. This is like barley you get. You're traveling like from King's Landing to Westeros. To the north. Yeah. And you're just like forlorn and you find this, yeah, thousand percent this pub. You needed a cup of ale. How did it taste-ish? Bad. Like it was eatable. Eatable? Yeah.

There's a word for that. Edible. I was able to eat it. Not in like, like I wasn't enjoying it, but I was so hungry that I just was like eating the meat for sustenance. Like I needed the iron. Like I needed the protein to bring me back to life. I was like in a faint. Dinner just like kept getting pushed back and kept getting pushed back. And I was so hungry. Dinner has been canceled due to lack of crock pot awareness. Literally. Now I had wanted to make chili in the crock pot, but now I'm just kind of nervous. Yeah.

So I do have a crock pot chili recipe. It does require four hours in the crock. So it appears as though I can't just take like pre-existing recipes that aren't for the crock pot and just like put them in the crock pot. But like you can, that's the point. I interchange my chili between the stove and the crock pot. It really makes no difference. That's what I'm saying.

That's why we need like a lot of you guys are crockpot experts unless you use a liner but you don't sound off. But can someone write in the comments like where we went wrong here? Yeah. I'm like I knew something was off because I went to take the trash out like hours into this excursion. And when I came back in I was like ready. I'm like oh I'm going to smell it. Like oh yeah. I didn't smell anything. Was your crockpot on? Honestly yes it was because I saw the condensation on the lid and the buttons were lighting up and it said power like it was on.

It said power. It said power. You need to get a book of crockpot recipes. Yeah. Even though that reminds me of like the one part that I read about Long Island Compromise, like in the beginning when she's like cooking in her microwave from a recipe book of like

recipes to cook in your microwave. And it's, the book is made by the microwave manufacturer. Oh, so I saw, I think you texted me that you were going to give Long Island Compromise another go. So here's what I have to start the Redheads book. So Long Island Compromise is being shelved. When I finished the Redheads book, like there's a chance I'll pick LIC backup just because I've, I've made headway. But what I'm realizing is like, this is my worst year for reading since before I learned how to read. Same. Which was in 2019. Um, I, I,

thank God for the redheads because it makes me read a book a month. I would have read seriously three books this year max. However, sometimes I pick up a book and like, I want to keep reading it. I find free time to read it because it's so good. And now I need to realize like, if a book isn't making me feel that I need to move on because I don't have all the time in the world. And if I'm not feeling motivated to read, like I'm not going to read. So I really need to

be more selective in what I'm reading because there's just not as much reading time. I too am on track for the worst reading year of my life and I feel like that's sort of the sentiment in the country. I don't think it's just us. I think it's a nationwide thing. I think literacy levels are down. Sound off in the comments like is this also your worst reading year yet if you're like a reader who reads like a lot of books every year. I mean last year I think I was pushing like 70 books. I'm not even at 15.

Interesting. I wonder what it is. Cause for me, I know it's just like lifestyle and I've just gotten like really busy and that's something that has slipped through the cracks, but maybe it's also the quality of books. I feel like the last few years have been like booming for the book business and like the girly swirly writers who like write the hits, like they've been churning them out and like maybe what they're churning right now isn't the best and it's not

motivating people to keep reading. Maybe that's just a theory. That's a theory. Here's my theory. If what you're saying is true, that this is a universal slump in reading. We'll find out. But here's my theory. I like that theory, though. It might be better than mine. My theory is that like when you become a girly swirly reader, like there are so many books that you have to read. Right. And the girlies who came before you did the work for you. So you really know like the great hits that you have to do. Like, of course, Seven Husbands. And I feel like after a certain amount of time, like you did them all.

Yeah, I agree with that. But I hit that wall a while ago and it just made me work harder to find books. And also by then I knew what I liked best. And so I was able to like go down like historical fiction rabbit hole. And like, this is where I leave you. Like now choose your path. You want to read more smut. You want to read more historical fiction, nonfiction. But that definitely is true. And that is something that every girly swirly reader like has to overcome at some point. Like I've read the hits, read,

Where do I go from here? Right, right, right. And then you kind of read like the tier two four star hits. The tier two four star hits, yeah. And then you have to start like doing your own sourcing, which can be hard. But for me, it's not, aside from Long Island Compromise, it's not a lack of choices. It's just a lack of time at the moment for me. For me, it's not even a lack of time. It's like a genuine lack of interest. I don't know. I just like, I can't pick up the Kindle. There's so many other things I'd rather do. I know. So that's what I'm dealing with.

- It's okay, everything, it's all a phase. That's what I say about everything. It's just a phase. - It's another gloomy day here, very chilly vibes. So I'm feeling really grateful. I got to work today and I wasn't sweating for the first time in a couple of weeks. So it's really, it's a good time.

That's so nice. I'm like living in a simulation where I simulate in my home, like the kind of weather and the vibes that I want. Soon I'm going to have to put up like projectors outside my windows so that I can have like snow falling. So there are days like yesterday I had to like,

hit the road right after the toast so I have to dress for my climate which is unfortunate but like today is a home day for me so like yeah it's super cozy chilly here too listen create the seasons you wish to see in the world yeah like I'll just crank down the AC I got my coil so we're good to go as someone happened you decided not to replace the unit replace the whole unit I replaced the coil the it seems to be working um in the coil be coiling

What? Coil be coiling. Coil be coiling. You know, the risk is that it craps out soon and I do have to replace the machine, but for now it's good. And when you do come down to visit me, like you shall have AC. Oh, in my bedroom. Cause fun fact, the last couple of times I've stayed at Jackie's house, like the AC in my bedroom, just, it's like, that's not a service that the wine reps provide for me anymore. In that bedroom. Yeah. But now you do have AC in your quarters. That's exciting. In Turdy's quarters. Yeah.

♪ In her own little corner, in her own little room ♪ ♪ She can be whoever she wants to be ♪ What else? I didn't really get a temperature from the comments yesterday if people liked when you teased the stories at the beginning. I personally liked it.

I saw one person say that they liked it because I think a lot of people do look in the notes about what the stories are. So it's nice to hear a little preview. Okay, so tell us a little bit about what's going on in the world. Here's a little bit about what's going on.

It's going to be hard to really jazz this up. Major fashion show news. Major sports theories and news. Sports theories and news? Sports theories and news. Okay. I'll leave you at that. You're going to have to keep listening to find out. Stay tuned for more. Casting news. Parenting. Celeb parenting news. And a little music news.

Okay, vague. I don't even know one story that you're referring to. So that's good. Now you want to keep listening. What is she talking about? Do a little dance. Make a little nerve. Get down tonight. Never gonna give you up. Never gonna give you down. Exactly. I guess now we could get into the stories that are incredibly vague. I guess. Yes.

- I guess. - Have you seen the conspiracy theory on the interwebs that John Mulaney got a chin implant? - I saw the theory.

However, what about it is conspiracy? Right, right. Because, you know, when I saw him live performing the Hamptons, I don't know if I mentioned that I saw him live at the Hamptons this summer, I thought, I'm like, damn, he had a glow up. Like, he grew his hair out and he looked, like, really strong. And I actually could not put my finger on exactly what it was that looked different about him. And this conspiracy theory that started on Twitter when, you know, eagle-eyed viewer pointed out, that was exactly what it was. Like, I couldn't figure out the difference, but it was the very square-like shaped jawline. Now, there's a little bit of, you know, debate over whether it's

filler in the jaw or an actual chin implant. But I'm glad we're talking about this. Yeah, it definitely looks like a new chin. And it looks really good. Like, normalize getting a new chin. I did it. You didn't do it. We did a different...

He wanted a bigger chin. I wanted a smaller chin, so I got liposuction in my neck. But nevertheless, we both didn't like our chins. Yeah, but what he did, like a chin implant, puts your little thing to shame. Yeah, no. Mine was just like a little outpatient needle in my neck. You know, not a big deal. Classic. Just another Wednesday. Yeah, just, you know, contributing to the toxic beauty standard for women.

I literally am symbolic of the unrealistic standard for women when it comes to beauty. Like between my skin, my jawline, like my physique. Your hair? My hair. I know I'm a part of the problem. And I'm sorry to all the women listening. But at least you're honest about what you do. That's, I think, the solution.

I guess, but in an actual serious sense, because what I just said was a joke, I like, and maybe it's just because I'm secure and like, I'm not able to be influenced by people on the internet or celebrities. Like I don't, do not compare myself ever. Um, I do not feel that like female celebrities are required to share their cosmetic procedures. Like if you want to share, cool. I definitely find that interesting, but I don't feel like, well, you have to tell us what you've done. You don't like, you can keep that to yourself. Yeah. I mean, if it's,

If it's effective, like we'll see. Yeah. And if you like look at a woman, like let's say Kim Kardashian and you're like, why don't I look like that? And you're not able to like critically think that she probably had work done on her face and body. Like, like you probably should stay off the internet because it's important to have that sort of literacy. I really believe that. And I don't think it's incumbent on other people to share with us like what they did. Yeah. But I know you're unique in that. I don't know if you're unique in that. It just is not the prevailing sentiment, you know, but it's like, what does everyone actually think? Right, right.

It's important that we protect our peace on the internet and like think critically and think for ourselves, you know? Yeah. That's a good lesson, period. Yeah. Like stop comparing. Yeah. Perfect example from Liv Schmidt. Yeah. Any updates on Liv Schmickate? No, she's been silenced. So we haven't heard from her. Even though I do think she started another account like quickly after being banned. So if you're like desperate for her content, I do believe there is somewhere to find it. But it's not taking off.

Got it. Okay. She's like waiting. She appealed the ban, you know, the judicial system. The TikTok judicial system. Yeah. Now that's justice. Big time.

Big Justice and AJ. Big Justice. I feel like Big Justice and AJ are like really having a moment of like global virality. When I feel like when I met them, yes, on Patreon, I did a Costco shopping haul and I ran into Big Justice and AJ. Like that is a big deal. I feel like they were having more like regional virality and like overnight it just exploded. Maybe from Patreon. I wouldn't say they were having regional virality. I would say they were having like

platform specific virality. Like if you add TikTok and you happen to be on this side of TikTok where like people do hauls from Costco, you knew them. Now, if like you're an internet user, you know, big justice in HA. I agree. They are definitely having a moment and I'm so happy to have discovered them. Honestly, I invented them in this family and I don't want anyone like, I literally sent them a video, I sent Olivia a video.

So long ago. And I was like, by the way, this is literally your future son and your husband. Like this is them. And she thought it was so funny. And like I invented them. And I just want to go on record saying, cause I know everyone's going to try and steal and take the credit away from me. No, I, not me. You won't hear a peep from me because I didn't really know them till the day that I met them. And yeah,

It was a wonderful day. And if I had a quarter for every time someone in my house said we bring the boom, like I seriously could buy a whole Costco. It is insane. Yesterday I was helping Ben. He's filming an ad and it was for food. And I literally was like, you are big justice right now. Like you're being so big justice. And big justice is a dad, right? Yeah. And AJ is a son. And then they have like ancillary characters, like people they collab with. Do you know the Rizzler? I thought the Rizzler was a snack. Oh,

The Rizzler is not a snack. The Rizzler is a human being, a little kid who is so funny. I think he's from New York, so they travel to each other a lot, and they film podcasts and lives. The Rizzler is like,

Three feet tall. He is so funny. The Rizzler. I thought it was like the chicken bake, the Rizzler. No, no. The double chunk chocolate cookie. That's the big justice loves the double chunk chocolate cookie from Costco. That's his thing. And then AJ loves the chicken bake. Right. Okay. Yeah.

And the Rizzler is a human being. And the Rizzler is a human being. Okay, cool. I got to keep up. I really do think they exploded since they released their song. I think that was really the tipping point. I want to say. Kind of like you when you released Toast. Literally. Not to like bring it full circle, but for sure. I don't know who's managing them. Like I actually think they manage themselves. Like they're super organic. But every like step they take in their career is brilliant. Beyond brilliant. Like releasing a song. Genius. The song itself.

Grammy. We bring the boom. That's what we do. We bring the boom. We bring the boom to you. We bring the boom. Your favorite father and son. Pargy. Obsessed. Pargy.

Okay, now without further ado and without further boom, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by Smart Mouth, the only mouthwash scientifically proven to eliminate and prevent bad breath for 24 hours with just two rinses a day. Smart Mouth prevents bad breath 12 times longer than the leading brand. Their unique dual chamber bottles keeps their two powerful solutions separate until you're ready to rinse.

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Today's episode is also brought to you by Skims.

You know, Jackie and I come to you as humble women. As humble women who need to wear bras. We're not just these girls who can like throw on a sweater without a bra. And all the power to girls like that. I love you. I admire you. I am jealous of you. But we are real women. You know, Jackie's birthed and fed two children with those breasts. I have lost and gained almost 70 pounds with these breasts. Like, these are breasts. You know what I mean? So when it comes to bras, we take it seriously and we need the best. And in our opinion, the best is Skims. I will never stop telling the story about how I was having the worst back problems. Like,

A year ago, I went to physical therapy. Everybody knows the story about the time I accidentally took off my pants at physical therapy. And it turns out I just needed a new bra. I got the Skims t-shirt bra and I promise you my back problems were gone. It was the craziest thing. It was such a cheaper alternative. So the it's that fits everybody t-shirt bra from Skims. It is the best bra I've ever owned. They make my boobs look amazing. It makes my back feel so much better. And they really keep the natural shape, which I like.

So it's nice to have a bra that doesn't have padding on padding either. I don't need that. I've worn it on crazy days, busy days, active days, lazy days. It's comfortable. It's supportive. It's the best. So Skins has a lot of great bras. I also love what Ben calls my relaxation bras. It's like their cotton jersey bras that I wear at home when I don't need a full bra. But I can't just be walking around without a bra. That's how my back problems start. So

from, you know, all different levels of support, all different levels of comfort. Skims is my go-to place for bras. Shop Skims bra at Skims.com. Now available in 62 sizes. So they go from 38 to 46H. And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show from the drop-down menu. Today's episode is also brought to you by Quince. You know...

Winds in the east. Today's chilly. What does that mean? It means we're shifting our wardrobe. Summer things out. Fall things in. And shifting our wardrobe from summer to fall...

can be a real challenge. But luckily, Quince offers timeless and high quality pieces that we adore, ensuring that our items stay fresh and that we don't blow our budget. With, you know, the seasons changing, you can really, it's a slippery slope into buying like so many things that you don't need. I love shopping at Quince because their items are well-made. You need less things, but they are better things. When you shop at Quince, if you're really building like a capsule wardrobe, you will have things that last you a really long time. They're super well-made, but compared to, you know, similar brands,

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It's so much better than buying like fast fashion disposable clothing. Like buy less items but better items with Quince. Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high quality closet essentials and go to quince.com slash toast for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash toast for that free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash toast. Thank you slash turt. You're welcome. Our first story, a little fashion news story.

2024 L'Oreal Paris Fashion Week runway took place in Paris for Fashion Week and the stars were out. So L'Oreal, the beauty brand, has a fashion show. Yeah, they have like every year and it always makes waves because they do a good job. It's literally that episode of Sex and the City, like models, are you a model or a real person? And then Carrie falls on the runway, literally the best episode. Um,

not as good as when she falls in Dior during the Petrovsky era I don't know this one's really good she thinks she's such hot shit on the runway and Jackie she didn't want to wear this outfit because it was too skimpy and then all of her friends like gassed her up they're like you're Carrie fucking Bradshaw she was like yeah I am and then she goes out and eats shit like it's amazing you actually couldn't the fact that Michael Patrick King whatever his name was like hated Carrie so much is so evident in the show and in episodes like that you really can't ignore it I love it um

But L'Oreal does this every year, but it's really on like a major scale. They always have like the biggest supermodels. Like they have Kendall, Cara Delevingne, but then also like the biggest influencers. Like they cover a bunch of different categories and then also like regular folk.

But also because like these are their brand ambassadors. Like Kendall is the face of L'Oreal. So Kendall walked, Cara Delevingne, as you said, Eva Longoria, Camila Cabello, Jane Fonda, Heidi Klum, Viola Davis, Andy McDowell, our fave, Bethany Frankel, which we'll get to, Anita, Simone Ashley. Not Anita. Like I literally thought she was one of the models. Her walk was so sick. Like I was, I didn't know that she was not a model. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, they all look like models.

At this point. Everyone who's an actress is a model and a model is an actress. A singer is a model is a model is a singer. I would say one standout name from this was Bethany. That was surprising when she was walking and then people are coming for her and her walk. Yeah. Did you see the video of her walking? Of course I did. Let me say something. Like Bethany is an inspiration to so many women. Like her beauty takes on

are so popular and she really makes a lot of products go viral and so L'Oreal tapping her and I think she works with L'Oreal I know she does like a lot of their um like ads for their hair company and she likes a lot of their beauty products and so this is like a long-term partnership for her so I think it was actually really smart of them to tap her because she is you know really viral she everyone's talking about her now she is like really she's major and I think like a lot of like older women really look up to her when it comes to beauty because she's very no bullshit approach whatever um

The walk wasn't like amazing, you know, it was giving like they should have given her different shoes. I think she was just having a hard time walking in the shoes. Here's what she said because she did an Instagram story when she got home. I think she's literally still has her hair like in the bun. She said, I chose those shoes. L'Oreal said you can pick anything you want. And I chose those shoes because I wanted to be like a giraffe, like elongated legs, like one of those long legged creatures that walks a runway and looks like they're not even the same species. She

She said that she loved her walk because that's what the show was about. It was not about being perfect. It was about being perfectly imperfect and doing what you want to do. And it's so easy to sit and watch someone else do something and criticize it. So true. I posted that video because I live for it. So...

I love what she said. It's so easy to sit and watch someone else do something and criticize it. Like exactly. And you could tell on stage, like if she wanted to walk differently, like she could have at least, she wasn't even trying to walk normal. She was like stomping. She had like a little march. She was trying to, yeah. A little flare. She was having fun. I really think anybody who's like seriously sitting home being like, why is Bethany there? Why is she walking like that? Like,

You're missing out on the joy of life. No, it's so true. And you know what? Like she showed up as herself. She wasn't showing up as a model. She was showing up as like this, you know,

Really influencer, reality star, whatever you want to call it, but like this influential person when it comes to makeup. And she just showed up completely as herself and she was so proud of her walk. And like that's literally all that matters. I agree. Like I think her response is amazing. And it's very true. Like, you know, everyone sits at home like picking their belly buttons, commenting on what other people look like and whatever. And it's like, please.

And what other people do. And it's like, well, you don't do anything. So yeah, it's easy for you to sit there and say like, and poke fun at like the brave person. It's the man in the arena, Turdy. It's so true. I, and of course, like the comparisons to Ramona were like, I think a lot of people's first, first instinct because like Housewives on the runway is its own category of pop culture history. It's true. Yeah.

Bethany Frankel is the woman in the arena. I want to pull up that quote because we need our yearly reminder. It's such a good quote. It's such a good quote, Teddy Roosevelt. The man in the arena...

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming. But who does actually strive to do the deeds, who does not do the deeds,

who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

The middle lost me a little bit. It's like a little long, but yes. You got it back at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the poor, timid trolls. No, it's very true. And if you watch the video, like at the end of the day, Bethany looks like she's having so much fun. I think she's like so proud of herself and that's what comes through. So I love the response. I actually loved this event, oddly. I agree. Like what are they...

showing off in a fashion. I don't know. I don't know. Um, but it always ends up being like a big viral moment for L'Oreal. They always get really premium talent, either, you know, people who work with them longterm, like, uh, Kendall is like the new face of like global L'Oreal or just influencers. I think last year, like a lot of the favorite makeup girlies walked that girl. Her name is not Kendall. She looks like Kendall. What is her name? Whatever. Um,

Is her name Kendall? Whatever. They do a really good job of like surveying the beauty landscape. And Bethany, like right now, she's having a moment. And they leaned into that and she had fun and that's all that matters. Yeah, and the picture where like she's not walking, she just like looks so fantastic. And the shoes look great. Yeah, the shoes look great.

So that was fun. I want to talk about Kendall for a moment, if we may, because Kendall's gone blonde. Yes. And I saw this theory that Liz Woods posted on her Instagram that really has stuck inside my head that said celebrities go blonde when they've just had work done. And then they go blonde because like, you're like, oh, they look different because they're blonde. And then eventually by the time they go back, you were just like, oh, they're back. And you don't really notice the work. Isn't that a good theory? That's a very good theory. It is. Yeah.

I happen to really like Kendall's blonde hair right now. And maybe that's what she wanted me to think. But it's also, it's not like Kendall is someone who never plays with her hair. I remember she had like that red face. So it really could be either. I just like it as a theory in general. And I also think that it's a good strategy if you are trying to obfuscate your work. I know it's so true. It's like, hey, look at me, but don't. No, hey, look at me. Yeah, I look different because I changed my hair.

Right. We'll have to wait for her to turn back. And the thing is, a side-by-side photo always helps. Because now we're on to it. But if she just turned back, we'd be like, oh, she looks different again because she turned back. Yeah. So I thought that was a little interesting trick of the trade. And that actually would make sense as to why the Kardashians for so many years have had each, every single one of them, so many different hair colors, except for Kourtney. Except for Kourtney. You know, that toxic hair dye. It's not seeping through her follicles. That's true. But it could also be a wig. Yeah.

And I often wonder with the Kardashians, because it was a period where they were all changing their hair so much, and there's really no way that they're bleaching their hair as frequently as they are. I think Kim did the one time. And she kept it for a very long time. Should I go blonde? Are you getting work done? I wish. What would you suggest? Just a cloning. Yeah, I think so too. Okay.

Are you ready for our next story, our sports theory news? Yes. Because some big football news from the weekend that we didn't touch on yesterday but that we're going to get into today is Travis Kelsey's performance in his big game. I'm so glad my Travi made it to the big game. I'm so glad my Travi made it to the big game. One step closer to Kelsey being my last name.

'Cause if you play like you ain't worthy, which he did on Sunday. - You can call me Mrs. Taylor Purdy. - Mrs. Taylor Turdy. He did play like he wasn't worthy on Sunday and there's a lot of rumors swirling about Travis Kelsey right now. - Oh my God, like the man can't have a bad day. Like there has to be theories around it. This is his first bad game, seriously, since we've all started watching, which is now like two seasons.

But also, apparently this season he's had a slow start. Now the analysts are chirping. Analysts are analyzing. Analysts are going to analyze. Some are telling him to retire amid his career-worst stats. Some are saying that he partied too hard in the offseason with Taylor. You know, he went to the U.S. Open, had a honey juice. Ah, honey.

And that's why he's, like, not fit to play. But then also, like, on Sunday, I think Patrick was, like, not passing as much to Travi. So people thought there was beef. I think he, like, had his feelings hurt a little bit. But I think... Maybe it's, maybe honestly, like, Tia and Tamara, maybe it's, like, Trump versus Kamala, Taylor and Britney. By the way, I'm glad you brought that up because you need to explain what we found out, like, right after we wrapped, which was that Tamara...

- Yeah, I apologize yesterday. I knew I had heard a theory and I should have just Googled it. So, Tamara is the one who's like confirmed

Republican, when she was on The View, the real, oh my God, sorry, the real, she actually spoke about how her husband, who's a Fox News correspondent and works at Fox News, loves Trump and I think that their family is very, he was in the process of showing her a whole new world and she became a conservative woman and she had to go on The Real and be like, listen, my husband's not racist and it was a huge thing and so it's kind of an ongoing story.

Okay, so, but just to say, we were theorizing that Tia was the Republican and Tamara was the liberal, but it's actually the opposite. But the concept was valid. Yeah, but still unclear. I got my sisters wrong. Still unclear if that's what drove them apart, but just to clarify, like, there is a political divide and it was the opposite sisters. But I don't know, like, where does that leave Taj? I can't talk about these sisters again because, like, yesterday everybody wanted to kill me for getting their politics wrong, but

But yeah, thank you for reminding me. Just like a little correction. So yeah, this is giving Tia and Tamara a little bit, but was Patrick not throwing to Travi because he's a Republican or because like Travi doesn't have what it takes these days? I don't think like these professional ass men would literally ever let politics...

And Patrick has been asked about politics a lot, like very directly in press conferences, and he refuses to engage. He's like, that's literally not my job. I don't believe in telling people who to vote for. Like, do your research and find the best candidate for you. And I actually don't know if Travis really has his head fully invested in the election. I think that was a joke. That was a joke that I just said, by the way, because that's not what I was thinking. I think really the more story here is, like, is Travis at the end of his career? And I know, like, Two Bad Games doesn't make –

mean you have to like leave now, but there was a lot of, I also think a lot of part of this and I think he was crying. Was Travis crying? He was, he had like a Fabis and a punim when the camera cut to him because he like missed a really big cat show. He's like sitting there like, you know,

yelling at himself we've all been there you know he's experiencing like self-doubt you see it all happening across his face like a thousand different emotions he's like obviously embarrassed because like everyone's watching um but another element is that the Kansas City Chiefs like as you we've said many times like they're on their way to building this dynasty and they're investing in other good players too so it's so much so that that Patrick isn't throwing it to Travis is that Travis Patrick has more options now when it comes to players to throw to so that means less catches for Travis

Statistically, that's what it means. And then, like, the two times he threw to him, like, he dropped the ball. And it's like, yikes, we don't really have time for you to be, like, kind of fucking shit up. So why don't you just sit this one out? Yeah. It's just, like, it was a little awkward. I want to say, I am really grateful that, like, the football community...

you know, people who were fans before last year, aren't just being like, look, Taylor's ruining, because that would, I just knew like the second that Travis like started fucking up, people would be like, he's spending too much time with Taylor. He's not focused. And you know, his best games were when him and Taylor first started dating. So I was happy that like we weren't scapegoating. No, he won the Super Bowl with Taylor by his side. This is not a Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo situation.

Exactly. So I'm glad we're not blaming Taylor because I know people would like automatically be like, well, it's Taylor. Actually, they could blame her in the other way, which is that this was the first game in a while that she hasn't gone to. And then I'm so sad my Travi played bad at the big game. Now, I do want to say him partying so much in the offseason, I don't think is a thing.

But this new level of fame like makes him very busy. You know, he has this new FX show, Grotesquerie. He's hosting Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Like those are in and of itself full-time jobs, right? Right. So I feel like, I don't know if he's partying. I think maybe he's spreading himself a little thin with all the opportunities that have come his way. And the practice is suffering. He's not in the gym.

And Andy Reid, anytime he's been asked about it, especially in the beginning, he was always like, listen, the game hasn't suffered. His, you know, skills haven't suffered. So I don't give a fuck what he does in his private life. Well, now it's a little taco, taco.

I wonder what changed, but I do think like it's not fair to make these grand assumptions like off of a game. Yeah, but the analysts are saying, I think we might have like missed the last few games, like not picked up on the fact that he wasn't playing his best. And then because he was crying on Sunday and Taylor wasn't there, like it's become clear. Now I'm not saying that means he has to retire tomorrow. Like, but is this the writing on the wall, so to speak?

And how old is he? That's Jackie what I was looking at. 34. And Jason is how old? 36? 36, yeah. That's like kind of young to retire. And he retired. He just retired. Yeah. So Travi like...

Should have two more years. That sounds right. Did you see the picture of Jason Kelsey in a bathing suit that's sort of taken the internet by storm? No, where was he in a bathing suit? At the beach. Somebody just like took a picture with him and he's wearing this little bathing suit. You just see his body, I think for the first time. I think this was a lot of people's first time seeing his body. And the shorts and the position that he's sitting just sort of grip really everything. It's really a crazy photo. I'm looking, but I don't think. He's sitting in a chair on the beach and there are like two girls behind him taking a photo with him.

No, it's not going to be easy to find. No, it really should be. I just searched Jason Kelsey bathing suit.

Also, what happened? I was thinking about this the other day. What happened to the ESPN body issue? Do you remember that? I loved that. Even before I was like into sports, I thought it was like so beautiful. How they paid such respect to both men and women who like devote their whole physical being to their sport. And then they like take these really tasteful, not nude because like they cover like vaginas and boobs, but they're nude otherwise. These really beautiful portraits of like the biggest athletes in all different sports. Yeah.

Yeah. I thought it was so beautiful. I had forgotten about it until just now. Yeah. Final issue was in 2019. Why? Because like we're objectifying, but we weren't. I always thought it was so tasteful. Why don't you keep digging? Why was it final? Why did ESPN stop doing it? Consumer habits are evolving rapidly and this requires ESPN to evolve as well. The network said in a statement, the only change here is that we are moving away from printing it on paper and sending it in the mail.

Hmm. That's not an answer. That was a bad call. That was a bad call. Yeah. Maybe they'll bring it back, like the Victoria's Secret fashion show. Yeah, I remember this. Really made news. Vince Wilfork. Who doesn't have the typical, what you would think an athlete's body is supposed to look like? I'm on my way. No, they really covered everyone. Like, it was so, it was beautiful. Yeah.

I loved it. A lot of these images are hidden when you like search them on Google. Oh, yeah. And then, of course, I remember the was that Amari Stoudemire? Yeah. Who held like was totally naked and put his hand in front of his penis. And, you know, people were like, how can you cover your whole penis? Like it was just the kind of the fingertips and people are like, well, does Amari Stoudemire have a small penis? Maybe that's why they got rid of it, because people were being disgusting, myself included. Yeah.

Still a bar. I just want to say, like, my contribution as a sports podcaster, bring back the ESPN body issue. I liked it. And bring forward Keeping Up With Sports. I'm actually glad. I know one of your favorite, like, your Roman Empire is the fact that Caitlyn Jenner and Lamar Odom announced a podcast with the worst title ever called Keeping Up With Sports where they were going to, like, do sports for the girlies, and they never released an episode. And I know that is your Roman Empire, but let me just say, like, I'm so glad they never did. I still feel like it's forthcoming.

It's been a year. I think it's in production. We've got to get them on the toes to find out. So that I can just like move on. If it's not happening. So you can sleep. If it's not happening, like I can grieve. Right. And if it is happening, I can just sit tight. Of course. Are you ready for our next story? What number? Three. Three.

Oh, yeah. The aforementioned casting news is that Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi are set to portray gothic lovers Catherine and Heathcliff in Emerald Fennell's Wuthering Heights adaptation. Now, we all know Wuthering Heights from high school English. We do. Like, I know. I've heard, obviously, Wuthering Heights, and I definitely read it. You know, the... I can't remember if it's one of the ones that I did read or that I...

I know that like the trees, what is it called? Like the moors. It was like a big thing. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? Like let's get a little summary. I remember like sitting in English class, like we were talking about the trees.

There's something about trees in the book. For sure. Oh, they're withering, aren't they? Right. In the late winter months of 1801, a man named Lockwood rents a manor house called Thrush. Lockwood. Classic. Thrush Carras Grange in the isolated moor country of England. The moors! That's what I said.

Here he meets his dour landlord, Heathcliff, a wealthy man who lives in the ancient manor of Wuthering Heights, four miles away from the Grange. In this wild, stormy countryside, Lockwood asks his housekeeper, Nellie Dean, to tell him the story of Heathcliff and the strange denizens of Wuthering Heights. Nellie consents, and Lockwood writes down his recollections of her tale in his diary. These written recollections form the main part of Wuthering Heights.

- Now I think for a lot of girlies, this casting news shakes them to their core. I think a lot of people regard this novel as they regarded little women waiting with bated breath to see who would, I don't even remember this book. I don't really give a fuck. And I feel like Margot Robbie's busy. I don't know how she's doing this. We just announced she would be doing The Sims movie. - She's pregnant.

Get you a girl who could do both. You know, the Sims movie and Wuthering Heights. Talk about range. Yeah. I'm sat for this. I like Margarabi. I like Jacob Lordy. I like a period piece. I don't think that I read Wuthering Heights in earnest. I think I just spark notes did at best. 1000%. So like, I don't know the story. No spoilers. Like I'm sat.

I mean, I think we're all in agreement that when it came to like high school reading material, none of us ever read any of the books except for The Curious Case of the Dog in the Middle of the Night, right? Like that was a universal experience. So that was your one book that you read that stuck with you. The one book that I read that stuck with me and I feel like I chose it. No, Jackie, it's not the one book that I read that stuck with me. It was the one book that I read, period. Right, and so it has stuck with you because you read it. And the one that I chose, and I actually think I made a good choice in what I chose to read the one book was...

Spit it out. The Portrait of Dorian Gray. Fabulous book. Fab. That's like a classic. It is, I mean, like a classic novel. That's why it was chosen. Yeah. It's like, if they wanted us to really learn to read, they should have had us reading Tessa Bailey and Colleen Hoover. Like, let's be real. Well, they knew you were reading that at home. But I wasn't.

Well, you were probably reading, we were reading like Gossip Girl on the A-list. So we were doing, we were doing our reading for fun at home. Yeah, Massey Block and the crew. And that's why I couldn't be bothered to read Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre, which I did read Jane Eyre two years ago to sort of catch up. I didn't miss anything, by the way. And like none of us read The Catcher in the Rye, right? And we certainly did not actually read Fahrenheit 451. Certainly not. Did not read The Sun Also Rises. No.

I can't remember if I read Great Gatsby or just saw the movie enough to know the story, but I do feel filled on my Great Gatsby cup. Yeah, I know I didn't read Great Gatsby and like the way I couldn't fucking hear about like the meaning of the cover with the green light. The green fucking light. If we had one more fucking conversation about that light and I was thinking, I was like,

This is probably a new cover. You know, like when he wrote it, like that probably wasn't even like the cover he wanted. No, but in the book, like the green light is such a symbol. Like what is the green light? And Tony McGuire is like staring at the green light. I just feel like everyone was kind of focused on that and they were missing other stuff because they were so focused. Right, like the dead man in the pool. Right, because they were so focused on that.

Oh my God. Like literally English was one of my least favorite classes. So much material, like in so much conversation spent on like, what do we think the author meant by like this one word? Like maybe he just like was tired and used that word. Maybe it's like not that deep. No. And I also feel like if an author like wants us to know their meaning and like, just say it, say it with your whole chest. I know we spent all this time like interpreting what we thought they meant as if they didn't just write out, like he meant what he said. Cause he said it, you know, there's not,

It's not the Bible. Paradise Lost. I don't know what that is. I think it's a poem. Something dreadful. Literature is dreadful, sorry. It really is, unfortunately. Yeah. However, this is a great way to get us into some old classics. Right, right. Teaching the youth. Wuthering Heights, Ex-Jacob Elordi. I wonder if they're going to like woke-ify it up, you know? Like, does Heathcliff have blue hair?

Does Heathcliff have blue hair? Is Lockwood, you know, queer? Queer. By the way, I bet like in actually the real book, Lockwood was queer. Like that's not them changing anything. You know? Totally. Love that. Yeah, we'll see. We shall see. But I'm open. It's all the same. Yeah. Actually, we were just having this conversation about the word queer with some

queer people, like, do they identify with that word? And no, like, no, I'm like, no, like being gay and being, I feel like queer, like to describe yourself as queer versus being gay, like you're being intentional. Right. And I think queer signals like a lot of like other things besides just like your sexual preference. I think it's more of like a lifestyle too. Like a vibe. Yeah. And like, you know,

- Yeah, vibe, that's a perfect way to describe it. - And like that. - Yeah, it's just like, you know, I'm queer versus like I'm gay. - Yeah, gay is like pretty straightforward. Like, you know what it means. - Like I'm gay. - Yeah, I like men. I'm a man who likes men. - Or a woman who likes women. Like I think if you're saying queer, like yes, my sexual orientation is this, but I also like-- - This and that and this and that. - Deodorant is optional sort of vibes, you know?

Amongst other things, yes, I do understand. I didn't realize that there was such a discrepancy. - There is, I'm pretty sure. So like if our queer contingencies could sound off in the comments, like, do you, like, are you gay or are you queer? 'Cause I know they technically mean the same thing, but I think there's a lot of social context to one and the other. - I understand what you're saying and I can see it. - I'm letting you know as an ally, I'm letting you know what the gay community is like saying. - I appreciate that, I just learned that. So when I just said Lockwood is clear, like, clear, that's kosher?

Yeah, because we were talking about like woke. I think queer is much more woke than gay.

I understand what you're saying and I could see that and I could feel that. You feel it. Yeah, it's like a feeling. It's a feeling. But sometimes when you're like talking about like, you know, gay culture, like it's fun to say queer, you know? Yeah. Queer is a fun word to say, but it has a deeper meaning. But it's also an umbrella term. So you're covering a lot. Like when I say Lockwood is queer, like it could mean a lot of things. And that's why I said it because there's a lot of potential for Lockwood. Yeah. But I'm saying like in the book, Lockwood probably was gay.

You know? You don't think he was queer? No. I think he was gay. I don't think queerness existed back then. That's what I'm saying. Queerness is like I think a new term and it's like a new culture. In the way that it exists now but I think what it used to be. Back in the day people were gay. For what it used to be. They weren't like talking about it.

Yeah. But they weren't queer. You know what I mean? I understand what you're saying, but they were still queer. Just the word has, the meaning has changed. And the meaning that we mean today, that's not what was happening back then. Oh, you're talking like Merriam-Webster definition wise. Yes, it's been in Merriam-Webster for a long ass time. I'm talking about like vibes. I understand. My brain is starting to break from this. Like it's...

It's always wrapped my head around. You'll get there. No, like, I just feel like we're talking like two in the weeds. Yeah, yeah. And we're not even queer. What the hell do we know? You gotta just like zoom out. Zoom back out. Yeah. Yeah, big bang. Big bang. Big queer. Are you ready for the fourth and fifth story that are brought to you by State Farm? Yes, I am. So this episode of The Toast is supported by State Farm. When you get a new car or a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is, literally, what?

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Thank you, Claudia. You're welcome. Our next story, a little celebrity parenting news. Okay. Kristen Bell is casually recalling letting her 11 and 9-year-old kids explore a theme park unattended all day on vacation so that she and Dax Shepard could spend some time alone. You know, I...

I feel like this is reminding me when Ashton and Mila were like, we don't use soap. And you know what? Like everyone do your own thing. Very Matt and Abby, like do your own parenting thing. Stop telling it to us like enough. Yeah. I feel like Dax and Kristen, like Mila and Ashton, like fall into this category of like, you know, sharing these things about parenting. And I think they do it to like be relatable, um,

Oh, we wanted time alone. Like, girl, you're rich. Get a fucking babysitter. No, it's so true. But anyway, she went on Jimmy Kimmel Live to promote her new Netflix show, Nobody Wants This. Oh, I do want to see that show. That's written by Aaron Foster. I was talking about Jimmy Kimmel. Right. And so, like, you know, when you go on a late night show, like, you plan, like, a story that you're going to tell or a couple, like, you know, whatever. So this is what she shared. That...

they casually let their two kids explore a theme park unattended for hours during a recent family vacation. She began by telling Jimmy that being a parent to two young children going on vacation can be pretty stressful. She said, don't you find that going on vacation as a parent, it's not a vacation. You're just watching your kids in a different city. Yeah.

And like taking a private plane, please. Like I can't. Jimmy agreed, noting that it's worse than being at home. And Kristen said, truly, because they have none of their creature comforts. They're asking you a thousand more questions than they normally do. Oh God. Then she revealed that her and Dax's hack to getting some alone time was that when they were in,

Copenhagen they stayed at this hotel that was right at the Tivoli Gardens which is a seven acre theme park the hotel opens up into the theme park and so we were just kind of like are we going to go free range parenting and roll the die here so we let them wake up at six o'clock every morning they just scan their bracelets to go outside didn't see them for seven hours just running around Copenhagen visibly surprised Jimmy questioned and that was okay and Kristen replied apparently they're both alive we all returned home

Your podcast isn't broken. We're just speechless. No, no. I see what I'm doing. Beep, bop, boop, bop, beep. Who are you calling? Child Protective Services. Like...

It's fucking crazy in a foreign country letting your nine and 11 year olds. And the thing is like, I'm never, ever, ever, ever want to criticize someone's parenting. But like you telling this story is like, you're opening yourself up for like, you know, the parenting shamers to come in. And it's like, this is the same thing with Matt and Abby, right? Like everybody does their own, like you cut corners. Oh, not everyone's perfect, of course. Shut up about it. And like, I'm sorry, there's really no excuse. Like, oh, we're tired. We want to be alone. Girl, you are literally so, I wonder who's richer, you or your husband. Like, I literally don't know. Like hire a fucking babysitter. Yeah. Yeah.

- No, or they had one.

And that's a part of the story that she's not including. And she's not sharing it, right. I actually think this share is crazier than Matt and Abby. Duh! I'm not seeing any backlash for this. I'm just seeing it like it's just, you know, classic press, Dax and Kristen, like parenting news. Like this is why people hate celebrities. Like in an attempt to be like relatable, which is just, it's insulting. Like of course, even, you know, no matter how much money you have, like being a parent is hard, right? But to even like try and compare what it's like for regular people, it's so insulting. And it really is like patronizing. Like talk about something else.

And this is why people like celebrities, you know? 'Cause not only are you sharing in this like really patronizing way, like what you're doing is insane if true. - Yeah, no, that's really insane. - It's just like, this is to me, eye roll central. - Yeah.

Like him and his huge podcast with his biggest Spotify deal. He probably didn't even say he probably got like a hundred million dollars. She's been in a million movies. They are collectively the face of like, uh, may tag washing machines. She's in every fucking commercial on the planet. Like stop. I actually think they are like one of the most successful couples in Hollywood and they're pretty low in a non-traditional way. And I think they like do stuff like this. So people forget like how much money that they have because I think they really profit and benefit from being seen as relatable. They also have, they have a baby care company. That's great. Hello, Bella. I have so much of their stuff. Like,

- Oh my God, that's them? That sunblock that I was using? - The sunblock that you were using, yeah. It's like diapers, it's all baby goods. - Oh my God. Like to me, this makes me sick. - So they like really prosper from people seeing them as relatable parents. So like the idea, yeah, going on vacation with your kids, it's not a vacation. It's just doing your parenting in a different city. That is true, but like, that's what makes it fun.

And different. No. And I'm sorry. Like, this is also like a bad story. Like, this is setting a bad example because you should not do this. A foreign country where there's a language barrier of letting your kids go out by themselves, which she probably didn't. Like, I can't stress enough how like she probably had like an actual security guard tailing them the entire time along with a nanny. Oh, right. They're also like famous children. Right. Someone might see this and like think that it's like, look, they're the beacon of parenting. They own a parenting company. Like, if they did it, I can do it. Like, this is actually bad. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. She said it was heaven. We just had coffee. We played spades. And then around three o'clock, we'd be like, anybody see them? And then one of them would run up and need a Band-Aid. And okay, if it was like an amusement park where you can look at your balcony and like it's a confined space, there's only so much you can go. But this is a seven acre amusement park open to the public. Not funny. I'm not laughing. Ha ha. It's not funny. It's not relatable. Like it's stupid. And you're probably lying too. Yeah, maybe, perhaps. Like you're telling me you have all the resources in the world and like you wouldn't hire...

Just someone to protect the thing you love most. Right. There's someone to just go out with them. You don't want to wake up at 6 a.m. fine, but just like to tail them. Right. So what's worse? Like they're lying to the American people. That's bad. Or you actually did this shit. I actually don't know what's worse. Oh my God. The story is like really bothering me. Yeah. Like getting lit up. Yeah. I don't know.

I just hate when, like, as somebody who loves, like, pop culture, like, I hate when celebrities, like, talk down and, like, really try to pretend, like, that we all have the same problems. Like, we don't. Or, like, use that against us. Like, use our love for this sort of thing as, like, that they could just feed us anything. Yeah.

Because, yeah, like being a parent is super, super hard. But having money makes it easier. And I think anybody who says it doesn't is a liar. Like having access to child care makes it easier. Flying first class on an international flight or flying private, however they flew. And then on top of that, you're a celebrity. So you just get special treatment, which makes your life easier traveling with two kids anyways. Like you get to cut lines and things like that, like VIP treatment. So please. Yeah. Please stop. I think you said it all, sister. Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Oh, such... Bidding is such sweet sorrow. Bidding fair, bro. Heathcliff? That is Heath... Shakespeare? Who uttered those immortal words? Heathcliff? Shakespeare? Yeah. Hamlet? Bidding is such... No, wait. What did I say? Yeah, bidding is such sweet sorrow. Is that it? Doesn't sound right. Bidding what? What's bidding? Yeah. Like bidding a do. Bidding... I bid you a do. Claudia, let's Google it. Bidding is sweet...

- Sorrow, nothing's even coming up in Suggestions. - Oh, did I just make this up? - I like it. Maybe who uttered those immortal words? Turd spear. - Okay. - Parting is such sweet sorrow. From Romeo and Juliet. - Oh, I actually read that one by the way. Add that to the list. Like that was a classic that everybody read. - Yeah, I feel like growing up, it's like, you know, Romeo and Juliet, like we're singing it in a love story. Like maybe I should just read it when the time comes.

And you know, I switched schools in the eighth grade and in my new school in the eighth grade, we read Romeo and Juliet and I had read it in my old school in seventh grade. Like not me actually. Like on the first day of school, I remember kids thinking I was like really smart and I wasn't. But they were like, you know, what are the names of the two families? And I was like Montague and Capulet. I don't know what the fucking question was, but you know what I mean? Oh my God. They were like, oh, look at this merit scholar. You set the bar too high.

- Yeah, and then like, you know, the Ds and the Cs. - And then they probably put you in like the accelerated English class and all of a sudden you're like at the bottom. - And then I was like a part of this like scam that I just couldn't undo, this web of lies. - Yeah, damn. - And it was reflected in my report card that year. - You played yourself. - Yeah.

Well, our fifth and final story, Kesha is entering her independent era with the launch of her own record label called Kesha Records, and she's got a new album set for 2025. So Kesha has announced that she's entered a new independent era with the launch of Kesha Records, which will be distributed globally in partnership with ADA. The singer who has long been since...

signed to RCA and Kimo Sabe Records, is slated to release a new album in 2025 as part of the deal, which denotes her first distribution deal and the first time she's had ownership and creative control over her music. ADA will work hand-in-hand with Crush Music to oversee all marketing and promotion for her new album.

That's great. I think that like, you know, her relationship with Dr. Luke was really pushed on her by that label. Like she really was like this woman with no power and, and labels are so toxic. I have often thought that like Taylor's next move would be starting her own label because she is this, um, like machine and she has everything she does. Like,

she had to make a documentary. She didn't want to hire a production company. She made her own. Like, and I'm surprised that she hasn't done her own record label yet. And I feel like Kesha would be literally be one of the first artists that she signed. Yeah. Taylor's been like so supportive of her. And then like all the artists that she like brings up with her, like Sabrina, you know? Yeah. I feel like she should do it. I agree. Yeah.

I feel like it also sounds kind of nightmarish because then like you became like, you become like the big record executive that you hate. And like at the end of the day, you are working really hard for these artists. You're giving them a lot. So you take from them and then you become that person. Right. But Taylor's like always like talking about how like record companies and the streaming services like are so, what's the word I'm looking for? Please help. No, like when you take advantage of the artists. Exploitative. No.

Yeah, that's a good, that's not exactly what I was looking for. But yeah, they're so exploitative, especially off of like smaller artists and they make you sign these things and they don't really pay you for your art. And Taylor's like always making moves to benefit not only her standing, but all artists. Like when she signed with Universal Music Group, she was like, I will sign with you, but the rules that you're making for me have to be the rules for all of your artists. Like we want X, Y, and Z. So she's always been like an advocate for artists. I think the reputation era like opened up with a quote from like this woman who was like a famous advocate for artists' rights and whatever. So I have always thought that like that would be her next move. Yeah.

Yeah, I just, I think it's a lot, a lot of work. And... And unless you're exploitative, it's not a lot of money. Right, it's like, unless it's a non-profit. Right. But I love this for Kesha. And I also love that she's not, like, it says she's an independent artist, but she's doing it in collaboration with a bunch of companies, which I think is good because, like, as much as being an independent artist is, like, a really...

like it's a commendable thing. It more often than not means no one's going to hear your music. Right, right. So it's like both options are sad, right? Like being on a big label, but not owning your music. And like not getting paid your full worth. But also like doing it on your own without that big label, like maybe people aren't going to hear it. It's not going to go where it would have gone if you had the whole machine behind you. So I think this is a good fusion. I think Kesha is, Kesha's a hit maker. So yeah, I think she's just got to do Kesha.

And it will bear fruit. Well, that's what was so like interesting and like earth shattering about Chance the Rapper. He's probably like the only person to ever make like the mainstream completely as an independent artist. Same with Frank Ocean. Is he independent? I thought so. I thought that's his whole thing. No, that's Chance the Rapper's whole thing. No, I think it's Frank Ocean's whole thing. Whole thing, I think. Is Frank Ocean an independent artist?

Yeah, he became... Yeah, you're right, you're right. Here are five famous independent artists who made it big all on their own. Thank you. Thank you. Five, Frank Ocean. Four, Maya. She's an R&B soul singer. Chance the Rapper is number three. Okay, number two is...

Boyce Avenue. Who is that? They sing like one of Ben's like emo songs. Totally. I think I know them. Why are they number two? Who's number one? Ugh. I won't even say his name. Poo poo. I hate this person. Like with every fiber of my being. I'll give you a clue. He wore a fake nose and pretended to be a Jew. He's actually the worst person. Did you see what he did last week?

He is actually the worst human being on the planet. And literally the fact that he's independent brings me such joy. He's not successful. I mean, he seems like the type who's independent. He didn't have a choice. Like seriously, who would want to work with him? Right, not by choice. Who would ever want to be associated with such an ugly human being? And I mean ugly on the inside. Like truly, truly hateful. I fucking hate this person. I hateful fucking person. I will not even say his name. No, I completely agree. But he was literally just in the news this weekend. Yeah, we were just talking about him. We knew? Oh, in our group chat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we were. Yeah.

Okay, moving on. You know who I always think is an independent artist but isn't but moves like one? Who? Zach Bryan. It's giving independence. Right? He came up out of nowhere. He had all of his fans already. You know who is an independent artist? Who? Bonnie McGee. Do you know her? Queen. Independence Day. I am an American girl. No. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

hot-blooded and I'm ready to go. I actually follow her on TikTok. She's like, day in my life as an independent artist, like filming her music videos, producing everything on her own coin and like talking about, you know, the big hits that she's written as a, like American Girl was when she was with the label and obviously she wrote like so many of Katy Perry's biggest hits back in the day. She's really a queen. I fucking love her. Same. Are we independent? I feel like we're like Kesha. Like we started our own label, but we work in partnership.

With a bigger label. We definitely have like the, I think independent artists like have a chip on their shoulder about the fact that they're independent. And like, we definitely have that. I think being an independent artist is a state of mind. I actually would beg to differ. It's like literally not. I think we have that independent artist spirit. Spirit. Thousand percent. Like ain't no part of no big machine.

We ain't no part of no big machine. Like we can't be bought. I mean, so not true. We absolutely could. The problem is like our price is so high. It's so true. Like we have like a high self-worth. That's what it is. Priceless, baby. I am like officially losing circulation in my vagina. You know when you wear jeans and you cross your legs for too long, like you actually have no blood flow, which I feel like is bad. Losing circulation is bad, Turdy. Especially if there's like such a vital organ, you know? Vitality.

um that's our show yeah no cap on that no cap on that i'm sad thank you guys so much for listening to the toast and light and morning show where we deliver the fast time stories you need to everybody's finding you project you visit us that we've visited them so most available is back as a back of us if you answer this podcast you should probably be right guys box office with us if i can't get us to the five story we might be well but i'm signing but i wickedly talented we are oh little house keeping announcement tomorrow's episode will be audio only little house on the prairie little town little house on the prairie

Little housekeeping announcement. Tomorrow's episode will be audio only and just apologies, but it's what needs to be done. Apologies. You won't see these gargi faces. Love ya. Excuse. Love ya. I'm sorry. Bye.