DNPM: Friday, December 6th, 2024
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- Good morning millennials. And welcome back to the Toast and Happy Friday that really feels like a Friday 'cause the theme of today is leisure. We had a leisurely morning, we took ourselves out to breakfast, we're recording at 1:20, we never do this. - Turdi's not even being honest and we're not being honest by saying good morning millennials.

It's so true. It is 1.30. We never record this late. This episode's not coming out in the morning. But we've actually been very busy this morning. We didn't actually just wake up and say, screw sisterhood, screw swirling hood. Well, speak for yourself. I did. I woke up this morning and I said, screw sisterhood. Literally never done that. We had work stuff this morning, which pushed us back to record late, which was a choice. Choice.

But like to act like we actually have had a leash in the morning when we're seriously broke down. So true. We're so broke down. We couldn't do video even though we maybe should have because we look actually really cute. We're matching. We're in pajamas. But today's episode is audio only. So if you're searching YouTube, I apologize. But not only do we look disgusting.

In a very cute sort of way. But we also have Gizno on Sunday. And like, I kind of need to preserve my on-camera flair and like my glamorous celebrity, Gina Sequa, for the Swirly's coming to see us Sunday at the Hard Rock Live Seminole, Fort Lauderdale. It has like a thousand names. Yeah, I know. Hard Rock Live Seminole, Hollywood Casino. Orlando Casino. Oh no, not Orlando. Fort Lauderdale. Like, I don't even, no, it's Hollywood. Hollywood, Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Yeah.

Comma, what county? USA. Yeah. Broward or Miami-Dade? Miami-Dade.

That's the thing. We don't even know where we're going on Sunday, but we're so excited. So this episode is giving real Friday energy because there's no video and we're just kind of lax. You know, we're in our jammies. We are. We're in matching robes. Jammas. Yeah, we would be cute for video, but let's just keep talking about how cute we are and how much you guys are missing out. I love it. We're already starting with like so many excuses, like so much justification. It's Friday. I feel like everybody just starts with like lies and excuses. Lies, lies, lies. Look into my eyes.

I think we harmonized. I think we might have. I think we might have. So it's very much a Friday over here. Oh, we are in person together if you guys...

Flamingo maybe aren't noticing Jax and I are both in Florida because obviously I headed down last night for our show on Sunday thought I'd spend a couple of days with my family good decision honestly on all parts and Ben of course I think I told everyone this yesterday Ben of course was flying down so crazy Ben was flying down later than us he flew down this morning and at like eight o'clock I texted him I knew his flight was early in the morning I wasn't sure when I'm like hey are you up are you at the airport and

He missed his flight. And it's funny that he didn't text me because he knew what I was going to say. When we travel together, this man like torments me. He mocks me with like how prepared I am. The fact that I insist, I don't pre-board obviously, but the second my boarding group is eligible, like I'm the first bitch on that line. Like,

I take it really seriously for a multitude of reasons. One, I'm like very anal. Yes. Two, I want to make sure I have enough overhead bin space because I never check a bag, but I'm a very anal flyer. And he's so lax. He wouldn't mind being the last person on the flight, like gate checking. Okay. To me, gate checking is like Armageddon. So worst thing that could ever happen to me for Ben. It's like free checked bag. Like he's so crazy.

So I missed his flight. He didn't want to tell me because he makes fun of me all the time. Meanwhile, have I ever missed a flight in my entire fucking life? Yeah. No. No. So I don't know where he is. I think he's on his way. Ben is supposed to be spending the weekend with us here too. But it did feel good. Like obviously I wasn't happy that my husband missed his flight, but it felt really good to...

I know I'm right but like for it to be so obvious to him like think of all the times you've literally every time we travel we fight because he's like who just sit in the lounge a little bit longer no no it feels good to have a lesson learned in the hard way yeah and I don't have to be there for it you know it's by the way it's someone who'll never first get stagecoach of 2019 when our whole family went to stagecoach together I don't know why I can't say stagecoach the thing about stagecoach there is one flight a day from New York to Palm Springs it's so hard to get direct and

And we were all going together in the car. We're all loaded up in the SUV and we're meeting at Claudia and Ben's apartment because they live closest like to the airport, whatever. And we're all in the car. Bags are packed and Ben's not out of the apartment yet and he's in the shower. Upstairs. And not only was it like such a stressful time, but we also-

Had a treacherous journey to the airport. We like took side streets. It was so much traffic. So much traffic. So Ben's in the front seat, like knowing everybody in the back of the car wants to kill him. And we were all checking luggage and we got there and they couldn't guarantee that our luggage would get on the flight. It might have to get on the next one. So the entire time on the plane, we don't know if our luggage with all of our looks has made it onto the plane. And it's like, if it hasn't, and we have to go back to the Palm Beach airport tomorrow to get our luggage, but we have one day without anything. Yeah.

Very stressful. Thankfully, our luggage did make it. But I just want to say so I can attest to the fact that Ben is not a timely traveler. So then he called me like 20 minutes later. He's like in the airport, you know, floundering doing what?

wasting time and like his day and I would have felt bad for him except like you said it was a lesson that really needed to be learned but the day just like kept coming for him he's like I went to Starbucks I bought myself like one of those spinach feta egg white wrap things I put it in a bag and I'm walking through the airport and the bag has a huge hole at the bottom of it and like my breakfast spills out onto the floor I'm like of course I have sympathy you know when you have those days like nothing go right and then your breakfast hits the floor

Seriously I was so glad Like it It was important The bag was a paid actor It was important That he experienced this Completely on his own Like he couldn't Blame anyone He can't blame you

Like he set his own alarm because I wake up, we're going to the airport. Okay, let's say our flight's at eight. I'm like, let's wake up at 530. We'll leave here at six. He thinks that's so crazy. I would love to know what time he woke up. Right. You know? Right. Because I feel so validated and my measures are definitely extreme, but better safe than sorry, of course. Better safe than sorry. So yes, was there 30 minutes that we had nothing to do in the airport and we could have slept? Technically. Did we miss our flight? No. Did.

Did he? Yes. He did. So I just feel good. And it's a win for naggy bitch wives everywhere, honestly. It really is. I think there are relationships where the, not a lot, but sometimes like the man is the more anal one about flying, but usually it's like the women, timely, friendly.

Check on the getting to the gate, making sure your gate exists before you even get a snack at the airport. So this was a win for us, ladies. Yeah, you have to make sure your gate exists. I guess I am like the more anal one in our relationship because Zach is such a late person. Yeah, he's slow. Perpetually late, slow. Seriously, it pains me. But I don't identify as like being, like I'm not crazy about it, but...

I'm pretty nuts. I feel like I'm like so crazy that actually my normal, what I think is normal is actually what other people would consider crazy. Now I've gotten to a point in my life when I get home from work, my husband says like, what did you tell everyone about me today? Okay. Um, and so I, I,

I think he could probably guess that I would have told this story, but I know the toasters are going to DM him being like, so glad you missed your flight. He's going to be like, what did you say? Um, and he wanted me to tell everyone and I forgot to, so this is an important time that the last couple of days he has brushed his teeth at night. Cause I like railed on him for not brushing his teeth at night. And he's like, people are gonna think I'm disgusting. I'm like, good. Then no one will want to come near you.

But he did want me to let everyone know like he's working on it and he's really it was important for him to say this. And I agree. He's a very clean hygienically like his body and not like, you know, his laundry. But like he showers at least twice a day. Like he's he's not a dirty person. So he doesn't smell. He wants everyone to know that. And he has been brushing his teeth twice a day. That's so great. And this is what happens when you bring back shame. Accountability. People start acting right. Oh, I don't want people to think I don't brush my teeth. So let me brush my teeth so I can let them know. Right. Right.

So feel free to send Ben hate mail. No, I'm kidding. But Ben. No, please don't because then we can't have the fun that we have. It's so true. Just knowing that it might reach him, that's no fun. Yeah, don't tell him because then things like this might not happen anymore. Yeah. It's just never the same. Like when you get a message, they were talking about your spinach on the floor and they're glad you missed your flight. Like it just doesn't hit the same. It doesn't. As having the conversation. And like Ben took a huge financial hit too to get on another flight because the next flight was at 7 p.m. And he was like, no, so we had to buy another ticket. So like.

Him just being hit like, you know, breakfast, finances, like it's a really, really well-rounded punishment and I'm glad about it. And I was supposed to do good guys today. Yes. Jackie was recording good guys. They've been talking about it. They're so excited. And now it had to be postponed a couple of days. Yeah. So you could blame that on Ben too. If we're making a list. If you were really excited to hear me, I'm good guys. Which I was. I wonder what, I love going on other people's podcasts because then like the burden is on them. You have to do no work. To like, you know, think about what they want to talk to me about. Like what do they want to talk to me about? I feel like.

I feel like you and Josh always end up just like going into parenting. Zach, Josh is like a really hands-on dad. We talk about like the culture for kids, like what the kids are watching, playing, doing, for sure. Yeah, and then Ben now can participate a little bit. So it'll be interesting to see how the pregnancy announcement will impact the dynamic of the good guys plus Jax. Oh, for sure. Everybody's on the edge of their seat. Everybody's on the edge

Speaking of podcasts, the Redheads dropped yesterday. Like all the drama, will it drop on the first Thursday of the month? Will it not? I actually surprised myself and I got it up on the first Thursday and such a great episode. Let me tell you the book, like you don't have to read it if you don't think you would like it, but you should listen to the episode because it was so fucking funny. And we ranked our top three books of the year. The official Redheads ranking editor's choice. Is that your top three books of the year that were read on the Redheads or all books? So because this year, very few of us read books outside of the Redheads.

We only did Redheads books. Are you doing your bracket again? That's Redheads Madness. But typically- Oh, you do that in March? We supposed to. Oh, okay, okay. But typically we do top three Redheads books of the year and top three- General. General. But we didn't read enough General this year to be able to do two separate lists. So it was just Redheads. Got it. I actually made a big dent in my Redheads book, God of the Woods. I've been like slow reading it, but I had a flight yesterday. So I blew through, I would say like 10 or 15%. You know, I was being slow. And it's a long book. And like, I kept taking breaks. Um,

And I'm enjoying it. Okay, good. So it's good, yeah. Should we dive in? Like, the episode is delayed enough. Like, let's just keep dilly-dallying. Oh, sure. Dive into what's going to be... Yesterday's stories were stronger than expected. That's how you describe the stories. Describe these for me. RNG. Really not good. DNPM. DNPM? Yeah. Deez nuts. You can guess this.

If you can guess this, like we actually can hang up our hats and like retire. Okay, by the way, if I guess it, let's end the episode right here. Okay, that's so, no, if you guess it, read all the ads and then we'll end the episode. Okay, hold on. I need to seriously just write down D-N-P-M. I'm never going to, like I have not even a clue one of these letters. Put yourself in my shoes. Yeah. What was I saying about the stories before we recorded? How do I speak? And that's all I'm going to leave it at.

I have no idea. DNPM. It looks like something like when a company goes public and they have like a, their ticker. Yeah. DNPM. This do not pass muster. Got it. Oh my God. We have to end the episode. It will be our shortest. It'll be 11 minutes. Yeah. It's like 15 minutes. Oh my God. That is so funny.

Guys, sound off in the comments. Did you guess that when Jackie said it? Because it is top of mind for everyone. These stories do not pass muster. Okay, well, with a glowing review like that, here are the Fast Five stories that do not pass muster. They are brought to you by Built Rewards.

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F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. Or as they say in the commercials, every style, every home. Every style, every home. Right? That's so Kelly in their commercials. I have to tell you something. We're going to get to a place like... In your pregnancy where you can't do the ad break. Do you hear me? Yeah, you should have heard me try and recap a book, Nine Months Pregnant on the Redheads, where I had to do the whole synopsis of the book. Like, it was seriously painful to listen to. This is the first time I've ever, like, since...

finding out I'm pregnant, like really felt inadequate in like, I'm dying over here. We could definitely shake things up. Like maybe we do like you do one, I do the next one. So you have a break. Like we'll figure things out. We're very like, we're good like that. Pregnancy friendly podcast and accessible. It just occurred to me. Did you notice while I was like, that's been happening to me a lot. Like the getting out of breath, doing nothing. No, I spent the time like trying to make muster out of the stories. And I think that I have.

You know, pregnancy is interesting and I've been like overweight most of my life. So not a lot of like the weight gaining stuff or like the lack of movement has shocked me. This is a state of life I'm comfortable in. The thing that has shocked me most is I've actually never until recently gotten out of breath while eating. That's really crazy. Have you seen those like diagrams of how a pregnant woman's body changes and how all of your organs compressed? I feel it. Yeah.

I am smushed. Just wait, Smushy. I'm sure. Just wait, Smushia. Oh my God. Smushadia. Are you ready for our first story? I don't know. You sold it like so well. No, I'm telling you. I got the stories in a place that they are musterful. Let's hear it. Claudia, that's musterful. A bit of friendship news. Martha Stewart is fangirling over beautiful Rihanna and her very handsome Aesop Rocky at the SHU Oscars. Yeah, it's a big week for footwear. Yeah.

So the Footwear News Achievement Awards, the FNAA, sometimes known as... Why was Martha there? Sometimes known as the Shoe Oscars, took place this week. Only sometimes. I mean, is there any second? Right. The Shoe Golden Globes. What's the Shoe PCAs, you know? Right.

These awards took place. The event celebrates outstanding achievement in the footwear industry. I mean, of course it does. Literally, what else would they be celebrating? Rihanna and Martha Stewart read into each other and Martha posted to her Instagram. Riri, bad gal Riri, is so beautiful and statuesque, she wrote in a post. And she has a very handsome and funny boyfriend, ASAP Rocky, she added, noting that she was one of the honorees at the event held at Chip Rihanna's.

I just don't understand. One, why was Martha at this particular affair? I know she's fabulous. So was she just there because she's fabulous? Or has she made an impact in the footwear community this year? She was presented with an Icon Award. What contributions to the footwear community has she made? I don't know. Maybe Omnimedia did something. Like I watched your documentary. I didn't see a thing about a shoe. I didn't. No. Who throws a shoe?

Oh, Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart announced a multi-year partnership with Skechers in 2023. Oh, actually, yes. I know those commercials. And I actually think that was a great money investment. Excuse me. I can't fucking talk. It was a great money. It was a great money for Skechers because they definitely like border on irrelevant because they really are just like for old ladies. So they got the coolest old lady and her cool best friend. That was kind of genius. That should go perhaps in our Toasty Lions category. That was a very... We didn't even like really...

remember it no because it wasn't like a big stupid announcement I just started seeing them on the commercials and you know what I feel favor towards Skechers like when I when I think about it yeah and that's what good marketing should do well I like my Skechers sneakers but I love my Prada backpack she was so right for that like my Skechers sneakers that keep me alive I like them yeah sure but my Prada backpack is everything to me right you actually have a Prada backpack that you've had since like 2009 and it's probably one of the best things that you own and you use it to this day find it

I mean it's here somewhere I know where it is Margo has it She totally stole it You think Satchel Cratchel You're very generous with it I know You see her in your Thanksgiving TikTok With my Dior bag Which by the way I let her borrow for a trip Like she's going somewhere fabulous You need a fabulous Yeah The perfect Like I want you to have the right thing And I also said like You know what Keep it Like I'm Take it for a little I'm not going out I don't need a little black bag Whatever But like

You could always give it back or at least give me credit in the TikTok where she gave credit to the girl whose dress she was wearing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She shout out Kate Davis but couldn't shout out big sis. Maybe she's like had it for so long she just thinks of it as her. It's like it doesn't even occur to her that it's technically a borrowed bag. And so many times I'm going out and I need it. Like I feel it's absent. I think she's coming to visit you soon. Ask her to bring it. I know. I just feel bad. That's insane that you feel bad. No, I don't feel bad. Sorry, that's like.

an overstatement. Just like sucks for her. Romeo just waltzed in the studio like from somewhere else. Where has he been? Where has Romeo been? And what has he done? What is waiting for us on the other side of that door? I don't know, but I just want to say her getting the icon awards at the SHU Oscars when she has a partnership with Skechers since last year, like it's not that iconic, but okay. You know, I guess nobody else in the space was doing anything of muster because... No, but you don't want to give it to like Jimmy Choo.

Yeah, it's definitely... Michael Kors. It's a slap in the face to people who actually manufacture shoes. Vince Camuter. Or like... Yeah, of course, like somebody who designs shoes. But I feel like, I don't know. Some people like, you know... What was like a shoe collab Nike does with like athletes that like break records? Caitlin Clark, her shoe broke records. Yes, yes. Like...

No shade to Martha. I would literally lay my life out on the line for her. Like give her all the awards. Sure. I just want to say like in the shoe icon category. If I was a person who took like the shoe awards really seriously, I would be annoyed about this. Yeah. Thankfully I'm not. Snoop presented her the award virtually. Like it's seriously giving low budget. Virtually. I'm shocked that Rihanna was there. I think that she was there because ASAP Rocky was honored.

Yeah, like it's his thing. He was awarded for collaboration of the year in recognition of his partnership with Puma. So there's like been really big things going on in the shoe world. And I feel like if you don't listen to today's episode of The Toast, you wouldn't know. And didn't Rihanna have a big thing with Puma too? She's the creative director, so she hired her mans. We love to see women in business like doing charity.

It's seriously like nepotism, but yeah. I feel like when we talk about couples, like we're always talking about like different power dynamics, like within Hollywood, how like, you know, really powerful women like need like men in different industries because they're so, we don't talk enough about how, except Rocky and Rihanna really are in the same industry and she is so flippant.

Far out of his league Business wise She is She's a billionaire I honestly don't even know How he makes a living Like I know he's done music before I don't think he's consistently Releasing music I don't think he consistently Does anything I think he like Loves being a dad And loves being Rihanna's man He's like a professional partner Yeah and He doesn't get enough credit For being like Exactly what we're always saying Like powerful women need We're always saying Powerful women need

need a firefighter because so they don't compete like yeah meanwhile asap rocky here is holding it down no it can be done yes but i do feel like when we talk about them we do always mention that like okay good we just talk about them a lot maybe that's it yeah because we're always talking about her we always talk about her therein lies the issue well not an issue also i follow martha stewart on instagram so i did see this photo i was aware that she was at the footwear association of america's the faas whatever and it reminded me because she tagged rihanna that like

Rihanna has never and most likely will never change her Instagram username. Like she was this up and coming singer. And I'm sure when she made her Instagram, like she thought it was funny. She wasn't up and coming. She wasn't Rihanna. Like she wasn't an icon. No, it was crazy when she did it then. Cause Instagram came out what? Like 2009. Like she was Rihanna and she made her name bad gallery. And then she never changed it. Yeah.

And I love that. And that just always reminds me of your friend Alicia. Yeah. When I was in high school, my friend Alicia. And I was like so jealous. It was such a good. I still call her bad gal. Yeah. By the way, a lot of people do. Her name is Alicia. And so she did bad gal Alicia. And it was a slay. Like it was so good. It was such a slay. It was such a slay. And it, she eventually changed it. I think maybe she thought it like wasn't like mature or appropriate. Like she had her reasons, you know, as we all do. And then.

The impact that it left, it never went away. No, like when I see her, bad gal. Yeah. You actually, you do say that. I always call her bad gal. Bad gal. And what a nickname. Because by the way, nobody's ever in their life been less bad than my friend Alicia. Like, she's the least bad ever. She's bad to the bone. Na, na, na, na, na. Bad to the bone.

I love that song. Are you ready for our next story? Hopefully it's some more footwear news. No, it is more wicked news because Ari is tearing up while addressing the quote dangerous comments about her weight.

So in a new interview, Wicked, you know, the usual, the press tour works, her and Cynthia sitting down. She was asked by a French reporter how she copes with society's beauty standards and the overwhelming pressure women feel to always look perfect. The pop star was immediately overcome with emotion. Shocker. She said, my goodness, I'm not gonna. She let out trying not to cry. Good question. I've seen a lot of clips of them crying on this press tour. And at this point, like, whatever. Yeah.

I'll allow it. I just wish they would stop. Stop talking. No, no. Stop trying to not cry. Like just the tears are coming. Let them flow. Stop acting like you're shocked that this is happening. Just like, let it, I was watching her on Zach's thing. Like every clip I watched, they're like, Oh my God. Oh, they're here. Just let them out. Like, and especially this is probably one of the more sensitive conversations they're going to have. Like just let the tears fall. Bruno farted. Bruno farted. I don't even smell it. Claudia. Oh, nevermind.

And he seriously didn't even move a muscle. He's still asleep. Like that is the level of unbothered I aim to be, especially in my pregnancy, like where all these things are happening to my body. Oh my God. And also just reminds me of her song. Oh, I'm in a state of my being it all the time.

Ain't got no tears left to cry. Incorrect. I'm bigging it up. That's such a good song. Have you ever heard the Camila Cabello demo of that? I feel like we talk about this all the time. No, I haven't. Are you sure it's that song? Yes. Or you guys might hear her music? Is that what you're saying? That was like a demo that went around the music industry that like a lot of the pop swirlies either sampled or thought about putting on. Like a lot of them recorded. I believe Bebe Rexha also has a version out there.

And Ari was the one, I don't know if there was like a battle over it or nobody wanted it and Ari took it. I don't know how it worked. But there are versions of that song recorded by other artists, which is just interesting. That is interesting. So she said when asked about the pressure and the standards, she said, my goodness, I'm not gonna, good question. Then she was confronted by Cynthia who joined her for the sit down.

She said, I've been kind of doing this in front of the public and kind of been a specimen in a Petri dish really since I was 16 or 17. So I've heard it all. I've heard every version of it, of what's wrong with me. And then you fix it and then it's wrong for different reasons. But that's everything from even just the simplest thing, your appearance, you know?

She explained that it's hard to protect yourself from that noise and you're young and you're hearing all kinds of things. She said, I think that it's something that is uncomfortable no matter what scale you're experiencing on. Even if you go to Thanksgiving and someone's granny says, oh my God, you look skinnier. What happened? Or you look heavier. What happened? She emphasized that being on the receiving end of those comments, regardless of who you are, is horrible. She said, I think in today's society, there's a comfortability that we shouldn't have at all commenting on others' looks, appearances, what they think is going on behind the scenes or health or how they present themselves. Right. Because the,

the overwhelming consensus with Aries, no one say she looks bad. Like they're just like,

Um, it is coming from a place of concern because she is so thin. Although I think people think that it's like a new thinness. And if you look back, she really has been at this weight for like last like three, four years. It is a low weight. It's small. Um, and I don't know where, where I land on this or where we as a society landed on this. Like you probably should never be talking about anyone's body. Cause you would certainly never say like, wow, that person's huge. Like you wouldn't say the opposite. So one shouldn't be okay. And the other shouldn't.

But if you are coming from like a triplet, sometimes somebody, you know, losing a drastic amount of weight is like a health issue or they're going through like people in abusive relationships, like drop weight. Like it can be an indicator. It can also be nothing. Right. Sometimes someone's always been small and they've actually, they gained weight at a time and then they're back to their original weight and you're like, wait, why are you so thin? And they're like, oh, I've actually always been like this. There's always a million things going on. I've seen a lot of stuff about her and Cynthia, um,

Dropping a lot of weight. Yeah. And I keep seeing these comparison photos. They're like pictures of them before Wicked and pictures of them after. And they use these photos from like the Olympic ceremony opening that they went to. And like the lighting is hard. It's seriously poot level. Yeah. And like,

Stop using that one fucking picture on that ugly bad day with the overcast lighting. Yeah, it's true. They look bad and ghostly. That's not a thing. They look beautiful in the movie. People are like, what happened on that set? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they chose a picture in like perfect lighting before. They both look malnourished. And then in the second, they look like they've had their souls sucked out of their bodies. They look like Voldemort. Like, it's just a bad picture. It's a poop moment. Yeah. Chalk it up to a poop moment. They look beautiful on the press tour. They look beautiful in the movie. They look fine. They look healthy. They're awesome.

grown women, they obviously like the way that they look. Leave them alone. Yeah. And then you also have to think about like what sort of issues they both have just being a woman in the industry. Like people always being talked about your body. So like, why don't we just leave everyone alone? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And it's a really good place to start. And I really do feel like as a society, we've stopped doing that. Like people don't talk like back in the day, the way they used to talk about cover of every magazine, like Jessica Simpson in those jeans, like,

Such crazy things And I feel like We've mostly moved Past that So it does feel Like a bit of a Regression here Yeah And it must be Really annoying to see Yeah but do you Remember like a time When all the It girlies Like Lindsay Paris Nicole Were like emaciated And like skeletal Yeah And they would be On the cover of Every magazine Like with their Bones out That was so crazy Yeah Like that's what We used to grow up In the supermarket Like that's what We would say Yeah That was just like That was also the look That was the look Like it was in fashion And like the looks change But like regardless Just everyone's on

Everyone's on their own journey. Leave them alone. She's obviously like very happy and. It's true. And she looks like a person who's like. And she likes how she looks. Must be nice. You know, they say like nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. I was just having this conversation with someone and I've thought about that phrase a lot because I used to like be very. Clown on it. I used to be very anti that phrase, but that was because I had never been skinny. Then I became skinny and I actually do believe like being in control of your body, like being

Is just as good as a donut. Like maybe not one is better than the other. But they both have extraordinary merit. You couldn't say which one's better? The donut is fleeting. Yeah I guess I would say like feeling healthy. Feeling good. Being in control of your weight. It feels better literally than anything could possibly taste. I can attribute that. And I've eaten some delicious things. Yeah. But also like if you're in control of your body. Like you are able to.

To eat those things. Like you can have both. You can actually have things that taste as good as skinny feels and be skinny. Yes. To a degree. To a degree, of course. You can't have it for every meal, but like that's part of like a healthy balance. Like you can have a donut. A little treat. Yeah. A sweet treat. I just had like five sweet treats. I went through Jackie's Halloween candy. It was so good. I fucking. Worth it. We needed a sugar boost. We needed a boost before, before this episode, we were kind of like crashing that, you know, one o'clock crash. Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story? What number? Three. Yes. Kind of surprising news. Tell me. Amber Heard is expecting baby number two. She's delighted both for herself and her daughter, Una Page, who is three and a half. Now, I have a lot of thoughts, but let me just share the deets. Yeah, because Elon totally donated his seed. Of course, to have a sister or brother for Una, his other child. And for X. Yeah, but like- A step-sibling for X. Our working theory, and I think a lot of people's theory, and nobody's dispelling it, nobody's talking about it because it's like, you know, not our business, and I can recognize that, but I'm curious. Yep.

Amber Heard has a three and a half year old daughter. Nobody knows who the father is. After her relationship with Johnny Depp. So that is also when she dated Elon. Nobody knows who the father is. There is space for it to have been. You know how much he loves procreating. It's like one of his favorite hobbies. There also were a lot of rumors and it did kind of make sense that he was helping her financially a lot during her trial with Johnny Depp because, you know, that was like lawyers like that for a case. That's millions and millions of dollars. And she actually said on trial she has money.

very little work these days because of the whole Johnny Depp thing so I believe that these two are definitely incommunicado I feel like they are like friendly exes and I could totally her seeing her having either gotten pregnant or literally asking him for help and then she wanted another one so where'd he go of course to Una's dad and she's like living abroad now Spain I don't know if she's really working like I do feel like Elon is footing the bill for a thousand percent Amber and his child and then she wants another kid and like he loves donating sperm and procreating like

I would need someone to seriously tell me the truth in order for me to stop believing this. Because like this makes sense to me. There are like a couple mysteries in Hollywood when it comes to paternity. January Jones. There's rumors that it's Bobby Flay. Her dad? It's her baby daddy. Like they're, of course, Mindy Keeling. People think it's BJ Novak. We have no confirmation. All those are really rumors. Don't even conflate Mindy and BJ with this. Like seriously. Exactly.

certifiably true rumor because there's not a better alternative before we continue this is just my quarterly check-in to see if amber heard still follows me on social media she follows 54 people and i am one of them all throughout the trial i don't know why like love being pregnant with you oh my god my pregnant sister have we ever dm'd oh my we have you should like a dm her and be like miles was so happy for you oh my god i responded to one of her stories in 2018

And then in 2019, she responded to one of my stories. Killing the game, babe. I don't even know what I was referring to. You were killing the game. She said that to me. You were killing the game. I could see her talking like that. I know that you were. And I was like, and I'm so obnoxious. I'm like, oh my God, stop. I look so ugly. Like, could I be like more down on myself? Seriously. Okay. We haven't spoken since 2019, but I always check to see if she still follows me. And she does. And that's major. It is. A spokesperson for her, for her.

It's still quite early in the pregnancy, so you'll appreciate that we do not want to go into too much detail at this stage. Suffice to say that Amber is delighted for both herself and Una Paige. Una. Una, Una, Una. Lena, Una, Una. That's nice. Yeah. I feel like she's so done.

She is so done. Like with everyone and everything, even the country, like she's just living her best life. Like I'm surprised we even knew this. That's how off the grid I feel she is. Yeah. I just, I like my version of events. Definitely. Regardless, it seems like this is like a happy next chapter for her. So it's good. It's good. Go forth and prosper and multiply.

And multiply. Very biblical. Be fruitful and multiply. Before you dive into the next story, let me just let you know that today's episode is brought to you by Prolon. Did you know that there's a nutrition plan that doesn't just help you lose weight, but actually has been shown to lower your biological age score? It's called Prolon by El Nutra. And here's the craziest part. It's a fast, but it does include food. So full disclosure, I'm sure like many of you,

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Our next story, I'm just going to preface this by saying I don't understand it, okay? So I'm going to share what I'm reading, but I'm letting you know that I can't process the words that I'm reading. Maybe I can. Yeah, maybe you can. I do speak multiple languages. Hawk to a creator, Hayley Welch, is being criticized for her meme coin launch after the price crashes. So Hayley Welch, the 22-year-old woman who achieved internet fame this summer for her viral Hawk to a TikTok video, you guys, we all know her,

She's affectionately called Hawk Tua. She launched her own meme coin in her latest career move only for its value to plummet almost immediately. So I also can't tell what part of these articles are just like anti-Hawk Tua slant. And I feel like there's a lot of that. So I need you to help me sift through. No, but like what you just said is all facts. They said they called it bizarre. I took that out. I think it's bizarre. Like...

I said her latest bizarre career move as if she has a lot of bizarre career moves. Well, that's wrong. She actually doesn't. She spends literally every dollar she makes on animal rescuing. She's actually a really... The more I know about her, the more I actually really like her. The reason why I'm really reticent to go all in Hawk Tua fucked up is because I actually trust Hawk Tua and I feel like she's being misrepresented. Okay, I don't know if I trust Hawk Tua, but let me say, I think two things can be true here. One, it's a bizarre move and...

I didn't, I don't really understand. And maybe this is my lack of like a finance degree, how you can like create a coin. But I know that's how crypto works. Doge. How the fuck can you create a coin? I guess somebody had to create, you know, Ethereum, like all of the popular ones. So she tried to create the next Bitcoin and people,

people are upset because when they bought it immediately went down in value so it's like going to the stock market you buy Disney shares for $50 and the second you buy them they're worth 10 cents like that's why did that happen why would Disney go down not only that I feel like that's what doesn't make sense if you're at a place where you have money to just frivolously spend on Hawk Tua's new coin like that's money that you can lose and I also think there needs to be like a level this is the second truth I'm holding space for a level of personal accountability like I I

I'm very like serious about money. Like I'm very fiscally conservative. Like, and I like Hawk too. I don't know if I trust her, but I like her. And like, I would never in my life spend one single dollar on her coin. It's like a new, I don't know if there's success with like creator based coins. Like, I don't know enough about this. Okay. So here are the deets.

Haley launched the hawk to a coin widely seen as a meme coin or a form of cryptocurrency that's typically created for entertainment purposes on the Solana blockchain on Wednesday evening. Of course she did. I mean, who wouldn't do Solana? I love the Solana blockchain of all of the blockchains. That's my favorite one. It's a really, really strong one. I don't disagree. That's a good point. Her coin quickly hit a market capitalization of nearly $500 million. What? What?

before immediately plummeting 95% to $25 million as of Thursday afternoon, according to Dex Screener data. Yeah, so this is where my lack of a finance degree or like a genuine understanding of cryptocurrency limits my ability to do my job. Yeah, and the launch appeared to result in big losses for some traders. CoffeeZilla, who's a crypto YouTube, or with more, do you know CoffeeZilla? I mean, who doesn't? Yeah.

He said in a tense X-Space conversation with Welch and her team that the Hawk to a rollout was, quote, one of the most miserable, horrible launches I've ever seen. Accruing Welch and her team of insider trading, which they denied. Well, here's the thing. I'm not going to pretend to understand. How do you roll out a coin better than they did? Yeah, and the thing is, isn't that how the market works? Like, why is it Hawk to his fault that the value went down? Wouldn't the value be predicated on, like, how many people want to buy it? Like, that's not Hawk's fault, is it? No, I don't think so. And, like...

what the fuck are they buying? Does it have value? But that's crypto. Like crypto doesn't have value. It doesn't, it's not real. Like it doesn't exist. But it does. Look at Bitcoin, a hundred grand for a coin. Yeah. Do we need to be launching Swirlycoin? The thing is I can't handle another scandal. Like, and if we launched Swirlycoin, I'm sure Codezilla would think that it's- Coffeezilla. Mine's better. Codezilla would think it's insufficient and that it was a bad rollout. Like I'm not interested in getting the panties of the

Doge community in a twist. Yeah. Also like he hit her with that insider trading. Like I'm running so far. That's an allegation. Like, yeah. Any sort of business venture that could potentially land us in jail. I am so out on, you know, there are certain things that influencers, creators, celebrities do. I mean, how many celebrities endorsed FTX? How many celebrities endorsed fire festival? Yeah.

I want to, you guys know my biggest fucking fear in life is going to jail. Like I wouldn't do, even if they said, turdy, we can guarantee you make $10 million. Do turd coin. No. Turd coin. That's what the world needs. My freedom is worth way more than $10 million. If they said a billion for you and your family to get out of jail in a couple of years, I'd think about it for sure.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm going to be dreaming about turd coin. You should. But you can't afford it. I just like need to know what Hawk was trying to do. I feel like Hawk's side of the story is not being told here. She has a podcast maybe like she's recording right now. Yeah. This is all went down yesterday. Yeah. I just I don't I can't provide commentary. I can only share these things I'm reading. But what you're saying is that you're trusting your faves when it comes to a little bit like a little. I think that.

I don't understand what she did wrong. She hasn't given us a reason to think that she's like a criminal inside trader. Like, I don't understand what she did wrong. She said, I'm launching Hawk coin and people bought it and then it dropped. I don't know why they bought it. And I don't know why it dropped and why it's Hawk's fault. And I think that like, there needs to be accountability for people who buy things that can increase and decrease in value. Like, okay. And so the thing you bought decreased, that's not the fault of the thing you bought it. Like, where's the personal accountability and invest Romeo. Yeah. And investing. I,

I agree. Now, how's your Dogecoin doing? Is that time of the year where I check how upsettingly like... You should have bought one Bitcoin and you'd have 100 Gs. When I was like first thinking about doing crypto, Doge was... I mean, Doge. Bitcoin was still 60K. Yeah. It's more now. Okay. I actually have a little bit of Ethereum. Okay. And oh my God, I've made $300. Wow.

Oh my God, look at me. When did I buy Ethereum? That's so weird. You're making your money work for you. Oh my God. And then I also have Doge and I have made...

Three one hundredths of a cent. Point oh oh three five cents. And I don't know how you would like make more or less. There was a time when I had like three hundred dollars surplus in Doge. That was the time to sell. That was the time to sell. But yes, I. Did you see how like Dave Portnoy, he had like owned a bunch of Bitcoin and then he did an episode with the Winklevoss twins and they like confused him so much that he got nervous and sold all his Bitcoin and now it's what it is. Yikes. Yikes. I can't believe I own Ethereum. Can we just go back to that? Ben must have like told me to do it and like I put like five dollars in.

What do you mean you can't believe you own Ethereum? Am I supposed to be? What is that? You don't know Ethereum? No, I don't know Ethereum. It's like after Bitcoin, the most popular coin. Oh, okay. And people say, you know, Ethereum to the moon. That's what they say. And what about Pepe coin? Do you know about that? Peppa the pig? There's Pepe coin here. Another meme coin. Also here, meme coins though are considered highly volatile and risky by crypto investors as they are dependent on social media trends. Like, of course, yeah. If you are putting your money behind Pepe coin. Thank you.

By the way, this is really interesting. I have a little bit of money in Robinhood, like not a lot. And I invest in like Apple, Disney, like lame, boring things. Do you have Tesla? I did at one point. Do I still? Well, you hold on to it. No, I don't. I should have. A couple of, so over my all-time investments, I have made $660. And what's crazy is that- Claudia, that's not good. 300 of it comes from Ethereum. Yeah.

So half of my earnings come from- Your portfolio stinks. I know, but I don't monitor it. But would you put in $10, the free $10 that they give you? No, don't be rude. I like put in like that much. And you've made $600? Yeah. That's not good. It's not? No. Yeah. Well, at one point it was higher. I don't know. Everything's green on my app today, so it looks good. Look, look how much green. You sound like a fool. I sound like a fool, yeah.

It's green. I should probably like type that stuff. The charts could be going down, but if they're colored green, like it's a good day. Green is good. Green is up. Anyways, Haley, like I look forward to hearing more and I'm going to give you space. Oh, of course. I'm giving Haley grace. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? For actually you. Our fifth and final story is for you. Okay. Not me. Our big Harry Potter fan. Harry Potter.

Harry Potter HBO series will film in summer 2025 after 32,000 kids auditioned for the lead role. Oh, that's interesting because before you said that fact, I said DNPM. Does not pass monster. Like who gives a fuck? Sorry, lead roles because there's like multiple kids in the lead role. So Warner Brothers. I mean, who seriously wouldn't want to be like Daniel Radcliffe? Like he never has to work. He's a billionaire. But do you think that the series is going to do what the movie did? Could it possibly? People who are like small minded think that it will. Yep.

So during a presentation at Warner Brothers Discovery's headquarters in London on Thursday, the showrunner and director revealed that the show had auditioned 32,000 kids for the lead roles. That just seems unnecessary for like one casting director to meet 32,000 kids. A lot of tape. The casting team is currently reviewing between 500 and 1,000 audition tapes per day with the intent to watch every single one. Though he affirmed that they haven't made any choices in regards to casting yet, he said the next step will be to workshop with some of their shortlisted candidates in January.

So they still don't have a lead? They're still watching tapes is what they're saying. I hope they pick all unknowns because now it's like, well then you watch these tapes for nothing if you're just going to pick the person from over there. I actually think being a casting director is a job I'm so unqualified for. I have no imagination. If you're not exactly what I'm picturing in my head, I can't see you. Because when people get cast for things, I'm always like, that sucks. And it ends up being good. I think that that's a job I wouldn't do very well. I actually think I'd be okay. I think I could see it.

You think you have vision? Yeah, I think you do too. Big vision. Yeah. But yeah, I would say overall, like this story isn't full of mustard. We don't need to like talk about it more if you don't want. Like I'm okay to like kind of rap. Do you have anyone like in mind for? No, I don't even know what the prequel is about, but I do know this will probably be the thing because I guess J.K. Rowling gets a piece of this, of course, right? Is it a prequel? No, I think it's just a series. I think they're just like doing it again.

Oh, oh, the same story. It's a series. Well, if it's Harry Potter, like she gets a piece. Let me just confirm that. And we were just talking about how she's close to billionaire status again after becoming a billionaire and giving away all of her money.

So she was at 800 million the last time I checked, and this new franchise could bring her over the edge, and then she could give the billions away again. Yeah. It really seems like it's the same as the books, just new. Coombs afresh. Just in time for me to have watched all the old crap. Right. Now you're going to miss, like, the Yossified Harry Potter on HBO Max. Oh, yeah. They're going to do what they did, like, with Pretty Little Liars. Like, make it, like, new age. Everybody, like, has cell phones and, like, blue hair. And, like, Botox and big lips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love. Love.

Well, I would say that with the exception of the fifth story, those definitely pass muster. I enjoyed all of them. Okay. You...

Sold it poorly. I think it's good when I set the bar low. It's true. You know, you really were expecting the worst. It's good when you set the Lisa bar low. Yeah, when I set the Lisa bar low. And now we have to go. Enjoy our weekend before our big show on Sunday. We're so excited to see you guys. I love that Gwyneth Paltrow meme that's like, okay, I'm off to, it's like me at 4.30 when the sun goes down. Okay, that's it for me. I'm off to bed.

Um, but we are so excited to see all the swirlies who are coming in, traveling, making the trip. We have such a swirl. Like what's the most swirlified place in town. That would be the hard rock seminal casino in Fort Lauderdale Broward. We haven't done a live show in so long. This is our last of the year and probably our last for a really long time. Just given my physical state. Like, yeah. Um,

Jackie and I like TBD might be wearing matching dresses. I would love that. Yeah. Tap shoes. Let's go get some tap shoes. Let's go to like a studio and choreograph a tap dance that we could like open the show with. I love that. Hear the sound of marching feet. I'm taking you to 42nd Street. Oh my God. Like a remix. Guys, love you so much. And we'll see you on Sunday. If we don't, we'll see you on Monday. Love you. Bye.