Bring Back Joy: Wednesday, September 11th, 2024
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Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Toast and happy Gargi Parsi Wednesday. Hump day, a great day. Hump day! Wednesday, it is, it is, la turd. It is the day of the Wends. It's actually a terrible day, like if I'm being honest. It's 9-11, so let's just get that. That's never gonna be like the best, happiest day. No, it's not. I...

like always cry on 9-11. I feel like weirdly, maybe it's like a New Yorker. I don't know. I think 9-11 is like the worst day ever. And I am sending so much love to anyone today who was affected by 9-11. I think like when I was even walking to work, like there's so many cops out, so many streets are closed because there's a bunch of memorials and it's really nice. But just like a terrible day, a good day to watch United 93. I feel like we always on 9-11 talk about United 93. That movie was so powerful. Yeah.

It was, yeah. A good day to stop and remember whatever that looks like. A book, a documentary, a movie. Just taking some time to not forget. No, and the further we get away from it, it does feel like everybody forgets, right? Yeah, but you would hope at least on the anniversary that people are remembering and reflecting. There's just low-key a lot of people walking around who weren't alive. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, we see that. We see a lot of that in a negative sense. Yes, of course. Writing letters, love letters to Osama. To Osama. Yes, but today I don't want... Let's not talk about that. I mean, that's...

Yeah, and that is, you know, unfortunate and we can spend other days talking about it. But I actually maybe today it is more important than ever to talk about that too. But also to remember the lives that were lost and impacted so greatly. No, and I feel like we had this conversation last 9-11 specifically about the movie United 93. How like seriously, it's one of the most well done movies ever made. And it's also like the lesser told story, right? About on 9-11, of course, we think of New York. We think of the Twin Towers. We think of those two planes, right?

But we don't often talk enough about United 93. You know, the plane. Well, you and I do. We do. I feel like we're holding it up. A thousand percent. The plane that was headed, correct me, where was it headed towards? The Capitol? Capitol.

Yeah, the White House. Well, they never made it because very brave passengers like took the plane. They hijacked the hijackers and everyone ended up dying, but they ended up saving a lot of lives because they didn't crash into another government building. So really well done movie. Star studded. Will Arnett. Who else is in that movie? And then we are Faye. Who? Peter Herman.

We also always say when we talk about United 93, like how much, if you're in that movie, like I'm a fan of yours for life. Cause I feel like if, I don't think it was like a big budget movie. I don't think a big studio was behind it, but it was like a story that needed to be told. And I feel like if you got cast in it and like you're a big star, like you did it because it was a passion project of yours. And it was like an act of service. Yeah. Like it really is. Cause I think a lot of people, myself included, only really know most of the story about that flight from the movie. Yeah. It definitely got,

more press from the movie as opposed to just being an anecdote from the day. Oh my God. You know, who's in it? Dodie Fayed from the crown. His real name is Khalid Abdallah, but Cheyenne Jackson classic. Who's that? Oh, the guy, you know, him. I was like, I don't know that lady. He's from 30. Claudia. He's from descendants. I know. Yeah, he is.

He's major. Yeah. Oh, you know who else is in it? Descendants is kind of like a melting pot for the greats. Okay. Just saying. Do you know who David Rash is? You don't. No. But he's in Succession. Okay. He wears those like glasses and he works at the company. He's like one of the senior guys. He's always on the plane, but he's not like a main character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Classic guy. There's a lot of familiar faces in this IMDb. Of course, Peter Herman. But nobody...

I think maybe I'm also misremembering Will Arnett being in it. And I feel like now I'm having deja vu that we've had this conversation before. Whatever. It's such a good movie. Not to like make a joke about it, but like it's really good. It is good. If you haven't watched it, maybe you should. You definitely should.

- And also not to make everything about me, like everything possible, but it also always makes me feel so old. Like the amount of years we get away, 'cause I was alive during 9/11, but I was also like a conscious, like I remember that day, like I was in the third grade, like I was alive, you know? - Yeah. - And so it's been 23 years since I've been socially conscious.

Yeah. You were in the third grade. I feel like we have this conversation every year. And then you remember it wasn't the third grade. Yeah, no. It was the first grade. No. Who taught us? Mrs. Lacks. Do you remember her? So she was in second grade. I was in second grade. Because I remember she said, and I tell this story every year. She said, the first kid got picked up. Bradley Garzinski. He was out of there. And we're like, what's going on? And she said, there's been an accident in Manhattan. And you know what? What?

It wasn't the worst way to explain it to a bunch of second graders. Like, I'm sure in that moment she didn't realize it was going to be, like, historic, right? And how do you explain something like that to a second graders who are probably freaking? In the moment. Right. In the moment. And now everyone, if you're telling, if you were relaying it as a teacher, as a part of history. Right. You would explain it differently. You wouldn't say it was an accident. Yeah. But I'm sure in that moment she, like, kind of had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Yeah. Mrs. Locks.

She also might have thought it was an accident at first. That's so true. I think a lot of people did. I think a lot of people did until the second one hit. Yeah, of course, of course. So very sad.

Today is just like a bad day. But of course what we do, you know, we acknowledge. We bring light and we bring swirliness. How was your evening? I went to a fabulous event. Not to like, I don't know how to shift out of 9-11 talk. So we're just doing it. Here's what we do. We just shift. Of course you went to a fabulous event because you're the face of New York Fashion Week. I am. And I want to say it was probably one of the sickest like productions I've ever been to. It was in part, all these Fashion Week events have huge sponsors. And like, you know, based on who your sponsor is, we're going to see how fabulous it's going to be.

So I went to Cynthia Rowley and it was sponsored by Cadillac. Cadillac, excuse me. And it was at one of the piers, like on the west side, which was really beautiful. Sunset, water. It was really, it was making me a little sad because I knew 9-11 was the next day and it was like kind of gorgeous New York night. Not to be like morbid. And I was thinking, I'm like, how are they, once it gets dark, like how are we going to see stuff? Because it was outside.

And they basically lined up like 15 of the new Cadillac whatevers and put all the lights on and made a runway out of the cars. And then they had like smoke and like the cars, the headlights were like doing dances. It was really sick, honestly. And the clothes were obviously gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. But the production was kind of 10 out of 10. It was sick. That is very cool. We already knew the clothes would be gorgeous because not to make about us, but we shopped at Cynthia Rowley last month and we loved it.

We scored like we've never scored before. I honestly feel like the Cynthia Rowley X Cadillac partnership might be deserving of going on our list of Toasty Lions awards. It was such a great, because I went to a couple events and, you know, Fiji water sponsors a lot. Like, and the integration is never, you know, that creative. Like it was really brilliant. Cause now here we are talking about Cadillac, gorgeous new car, American made, um,

So it was like the perfect blend. I honestly, I wish you could have seen it. And the way they opened it, the girl stood in front of the car and the car wasn't on. And then all this smoke and the headlights went on. Like it was sick. I added it to the list and we can always just like go back in a few months and we'll know whether or not it stood the test of time. Thousand percent. And then I raced home because we missed the first presidential debate because we were selling out the Beacon Theater. We had Gizno. We were selling it out. But to our credit, we scheduled Gizno before the debate. Okay, okay, cool. Who hosted the first one?

- Like what network? - I don't know. - Don't they each get their own? Like last night was ABC. - Well, they don't each get their own because there could be no more debates, but there's more networks. It just kinda depends. - Yeah, but last night was an ABC exclusive. It was like Disney plus Hulu and ABC. - Yeah. The last one might have been MSNBC or NBC. - Okay, okay. Like they were coming for our necks, like so jealous of us.

Jealous of Giz now. Jealous of Giz now. Jealous of our success. So we weren't able to watch it. And you know me. I love to watch something that everyone's watching and like scroll Twitter at the same time. I raced home. So many streets were closed. I'm now realizing like it took me I took like 30 blocks out of my way to get home. It was probably because of 9-11.

- No, and also like all of the presidents of past and you are in the city for 9/11. - Yeah, but-- - Like I'm sure you saw this morning. - Kamala and Donald were in Pennsylvania. Like I was thinking sometimes the streets get like that. - But Biden is in the city. - Okay, maybe. Oh, actually I'm sorry. My doorman told me what was going on. Biden was in the city. You're right, okay.

Oh my God, I was just like so annoyed. I was like so worried I was going to miss it. Like, you know me, I have such FOMO. Like I need to be like with the tweets, like what's everyone talking about? I made it home with like 20 minutes to spare and I was able to order some food. So thankfully. Oh, thankfully. Thankfully I got brisket from one of my favorite kosher restaurants that's recently been the target of an anti-Semitic attack. So everyone goes support Mr. Broadway, best brisket in the city. I saw. Yeah. Order Mr. Broadway. Show them. No, it's like they know. They know how to get to me.

Mr. Broadway. Mr. Broadway, my favorite restaurant. They also have Chinese, they have Chinese, Italian. One thing about kosher restaurants. One thing about a kosher restaurant, like there's always gonna be sushi on the menu. They don't like to be cuisine specific. And I love that because you know what? Like as Jews, and if you keep kosher, you're limited in your restaurants. So if one place is gonna do it all, like, thank you. I know if you're an outsider, you come and you were like, oh, this place has a sushi bar and a pizza brick oven. You don't get it. It's okay, you don't get it. But I'll explain it to you. They are not cuisine specific. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So yes, it took away from my watching of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives last night, which was kind of a bummer. I was looking forward to getting back into it, but I did. I sat for the debate. I also watched a couple episodes of Mormon Wives yesterday before I had to go. I got up to, I love that they're talking about brand deals and how much money they're making. Like, thank you. Like that, if you're making a show about influencers, that's what

people really want to know right yeah we always talk about influencers make so much money I want numbers and we're when she was saying they were they offered me 20 and they were like thousand two thousand like she was like two I loved that yeah need to know information and good for her a thousand percent now I'm still having the hardest time telling two girls apart it's to me and I don't even know the other the one um

What does she do? Hair. Jay-Z. Oh, Jay-Z hair. Jessie. But then there's also a Jen, so I wasn't sure like which Jay. And then Jen is the one who uninvited them to her baby shower. Yeah. And she seems shorter than the other girls. She's also the one whose husband is second cousins with Ben Affleck. Oh, and has like blonde of hair. He seriously looks like a character from Game of Thrones.

Yeah, he looks like something out of a Greek novel. Yeah. I thought that was so weird. And this is what I like about the show. These girls want the show to be successful. And so, okay, she gets uninvited from a baby shower. What does she do instead of gossip in a normal reality show? No, she calls that bitch right up. I like that these girls- Literally had a 30-minute conversation. Actually longer, an entire head of hair was put into her hair and curled in the time that she spent on the phone with them

understanding why she's not invited. - And Jen was not prepared. Like she was seriously not prepared. It was like a total ambush. It was so rude when they kept flashing back to the car ride of like her literally inviting them. - Yeah. - So rude. - Well, I think I actually understand why Jen didn't invite them. Like if you then get to the baby,

It's very small in her in-laws living room. Like, of course we're not inviting the couple that brought alcohol to our last party. At our in-laws. That is so rude by the way. It is. And she's a toaster. And like, Jessie, I love you. But like, that wasn't the right thing to do. It's like the equivalent, seriously, of bringing like a pizza with pepperoni to a kosher person's house. Yeah. Yeah. It's very disrespectful. It is. And I, the,

the blessing was like so small that she didn't need to be inviting all of her friends. So I understood why they weren't invited, but she shouldn't have invited them to begin with. And it also seems like her husband was sort of putting his foot down. Now, the more I know about their relationship, like he's not allowed to do that. She is the breadwinner. She is paying for him to go to medical school. She's paying for medical school, Claudia. What about his parents? His dad's a doctor.

The way she described it to me, like she is paying his way through medical school. You're lying. So like if I want to invite my friends to the fucking blessing, sit down. Sit down.

Oh, my God. Well, because I actually, like, I thought it was really, like, she was being super vulnerable just talking about how, you know, when she invites her mom to things that her in-laws are out, she always, like, feels so awkward. Like, and she said to put it in perspective, like, my mom is, like, a custodian at the hospital where my husband's dad is, like, a cardiologist or a surgeon. Yeah. And so she obviously has this awareness, not a complex, an awareness about just, like, the difference in, like, how she grew up and how her husband grew up. So for her to be over here with her Instagram money and be paying, I can't.

Yeah. She talks about it when they go on a trip. She's like telling...

to me about it and also how he says that like you know yes but long term like he'll be making more money because he is going to be a surgeon but like I'm sorry the way things are going for her she's on a TV show business is booming uh I don't know if that's the case I think being like a major influencer you actually might be yielding more than a surgeon okay except some of these doctors I needed to make a doctor's appointment today with like a new doctor I call first thing in the morning and she's like getting all my info or whatever and she's like okay the doctor's only in on Mondays

I do would like to know what about the other days of the week. Okay. So I had my theories because that's really crazy. And she also was like, I had to go to a specialist. I'm having a lot of medical issues. I don't want to get into it. And this one doesn't take insurance, which is so crazy. Classic. And you know those doctors that don't take insurance, they really...

That's like, I think like if you want to make like real money as a doctor and not just like help people, you don't take insurance. And I thought that was really crazy. And so I guess that's how he only works one day a week. I was shocked, honestly. You don't think he's like working, doing research the other days of the week or working at the hospital? Like there's other things you could do. Maybe he only takes appointments one day because he's a surgeon. Maybe he's a professor. Maybe he's a professor somewhere. No, he's a surgeon. So like I think he does the surgeries the other days. Oh.

Okay. I just thought it was crazy. Why is Turdy seeing the surgeon? I'll tell you about it later. Is it your hand? It's nothing cosmetic, please. I wish. Oh, I didn't think so. And I'm hoping I don't need to get surgery. It's just the doctor that I needed to go to was a surgeon. That's what I was told. Got it. Like, I'm seriously having so many problems between my thumb. Like, everything is always hurting me. My neck has really been bothering me.

So I've had like a really upsetting discovery, I think. And I've not even vocalized it. I've not vocalized it, but it has to do with what you're saying. No, it's not bravery. It's just like, ever since we got home, every morning I wake up in my bed and like my neck and back are not right. I think my bed, it's so comfortable. I think it's too soft.

And Zach said the same thing. He was like, have you been having like back issues? And I was like, yeah. And it starts every morning and throughout the day. Like I adjust, but like I wasn't having that all summer. We were sleeping in like harder beds. Unfortunately, I think my bed is too soft and cozy. I want to, we're going to talk about that, but you just reminded me a shameless self promo takes precedence. Speaking of your husband, I recorded a podcast with your husband. Yeah, that's right. We kind of

wife swapped yesterday. It's on the Patreon because last month we did this really fun game where I sat down with Ben and Jackie sat down with Zach and we asked them like 25 questions about like women's health, women's interests, like girly questions and to see how many they knew. Now we decided to flip and do like the man quiz on us. But I also was like, what if I did it with your husband and you, so me and Zach podcasted together, I think the first time.

I think a first time too, because I've podcasted with Ben, of course, for The Toast. But also I've done like Dear Toaster's relationship episodes with Ben. We've done like bonus content together and we're podcasting again today. Kind of a duo like everyone's talking about. So that's at patreon.com slash The Toast. And Jackie's with Ben is going to be up also probably today or tomorrow. So I'm sorry. We can circle back to your back. But you mentioning Zach reminded me that this is a place of business and I needed to promote that.

Yeah, I think that if I want to get serious, like I have to get a new mattress and it has to be firmer. Oh my God. Why is it that like taking care of yourself is so expensive? Like, of course you need a new mattress, like the most expensive. Right. God forbid you need a new pillow. Could I, I thought it was pillow and I've been swapping pillows, but like, it's very clear. It's very clear on what's going on. Maybe I could get a topper, but also like, I love a soft bed. Your bed is really delish. Just, you know what? Seriously? It's like seriously a marshmallow, but it's harming my health. Deal with it. I have been.

But I shouldn't be. Circling back, I was texting you yesterday. I totally forgot that we got tickets. Like we have kind of like something exciting coming up. Jackie has still never been to the Aris tour and she doesn't even know what goes on at the Aris tour because she didn't watch the movie either. I didn't watch the movie. I don't watch the videos when they come up on my Instagram. I've really, I know people

I know bits, like I've seen pictures and I know, you know, the gist, but I've really, I don't really know. And I totally forgot that we got tickets because we got three tickets with me, you and our friend Margo Lewin. And she texted us yesterday, like in Florida, like, hey, should we start planning? And I was like, I totally forgot. We need to plan an outfit. And do you remember when I went to the Aero store for the first time? I was like, I don't know what to wear. I don't know what to wear. And you were like, you and the girls should dress up as Bad Blood music video. And I was like, wow, thanks for the idea. Far too late. Should we dress up as Bad Blood music video? Yeah.

I just feel like we don't have enough girls. The thing was you were going with like 10 girls and that just would have been so cool. So maybe we all should just do like seamless swirlies. Oh, you just want to wear like regular outfits, not like costumes? Wear like, you know, Taylor inspired outfits. But I have a closet full of like sparkly pink dresses. I don't think I have to get a new one. It's so true. Like Erez is very retrofit coded.

Yeah. Even though I don't have a retrofret dress, but I have plenty of dresses. Also, it's not a story, but was it last night or this morning? Because I woke up with Taylor's endorsement. It was last night. It was right after the debate. Okay, so I was asleep. Taylor.

Not a story. Not a story. But Taylor like got involved. And I think a lot of people, myself included, I've been like thinking about this a lot. Like is she gonna, will she or won't she? And I do owe somebody money because I really thought she wasn't going to. And I was so confident. And I had a whole back story because if you like look at the arc of her relationship to politics, she never got involved. She never got involved. And then she did get involved. And I feel like when she did get involved, it wasn't for the reasons that, I thought it was because like she had entered this, I don't want

I don't want to say flop era, but this like low in her career, like the lover time. And I think she thought that like this would really help. And I don't think that it did. I think what helped was just like her going back to what she does best, which was folklore. That was like the renaissance. So I have like a whole theory on why I thought she wasn't going to. And I was wrong, which it does happen, unfortunately. Yeah.

And then like Brittany, I actually think Brittany Mahomes played a big part in it too. I think the noise was getting really loud and a lot of people were like, will she, won't she? And with the timing of the debate, I think she had like a good opportunity to say like, I wanted to wait for the debate. But she did, I think she did that well.

thing she did that, yeah, I guess the noise was really, I hadn't realized I'm not like on. You're not chronically online. I'm not chronically online, but I guess people were really wanting her to. And there were like now, I think it went beyond like chronic online-ness. I think there was also like legitimate publications writing articles about it. Yeah, I saw. And I think she has a lot of care, even though she's at this level that she's never been about before. Like, I think she really cares about

being well-liked, being accepted. And I think like when these big time publications and people start saying things, I do think it really gets to her. So I do think that was a motivator for the timing. Not a story, but definitely worth mentioning.

Oh, yeah, because everyone's talking about really that. Yeah. Tailored on the debate from last night. Yeah. So. And it's 9-11, so not to like. Yeah, just like a big somber day that we will do our best to put a swirly sprinkle on. I mean, we do have dear toasters, which I think helps putting a swirly sprinkle on things. Yeah, that's true. We've got stories. We've got good stories, yeah. Oh, and I have an announcement to make. Okay. Use your voice. Raise your voice. I have...

mother to child outside my marriage. And I want you to respect my privacy, obviously, but I'm also telling you. Okay. Thank you for sharing. You're welcome.

Now, without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know are very appropriately brought to you by Hulu. So, Jax and I have been loving The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Hulu is a sponsor of our show, but it is not incumbent that we give positive reviews. Like, all of our reviews are totally organic, but we are here to tell you about the show, where you can watch it, and all the things included. So, let's get started.

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is now streaming on Hulu and it is a show we have been so excited to watch. We've really been enjoying. That part is not sponsored. This part is. So,

So the show is about a group of Mormon moms that grew up super conservative, Mormon faith, and they follow a lot of those really strict rules, which include no cursing, no tattoos, piercings, alcohol, caffeine, etc. These women then blew up overnight on TikTok, and they were fully in the spotlight when Taylor Frankie Paul, one of the main castmates, announced that she and the others in the group were involved in swinging. Now they are coming together post-scandal to form this new reality series that gives you an inside look at the secrets, lies, and gossip in MomTalk.com.

wait, I really also liked when they had that party at Jesse's house that they were talking about how big soda is in their community and, and the role that it plays. And I always knew that soda was important, but I didn't really understand that it was in absence of coffee. And like in the morning, these soda places are like a coffee shop. I didn't really get that until they explained it. I thought that was very interesting. I could totally be Mormon. Yeah.

So if you don't already know who they are, totally fine. They explain the whole thing to you, which I think they do a really good job of too on the show of like explaining the context of these women and the group. They're also really changing the gender roles in the Mormon culture. They paved the way for the next generation. A lot of them are breadwinners, which is really interesting. So watch the original Hulu series, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, all available, all up,

Episodes are now available streaming on Hulu. Today's episode is also brought to you by Rakuten, the smartest way to save money when you shop because you earn cash back at over 3,500 stores. We're talking fashion, beauty, electronics, home essentials, travel, dining, concerts, and more. So your favorite stores...

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You're work-um. You're work-um? You're work-um. You're work-um. You're work-um. By the way, never gonna give you... Never gonna give you down. Okay, Arneis Mikaela's new favorite song is Never Gonna... I don't even know what the title of that song is. And she's changed the lyrics. Seriously, she's made them so much better. Never gonna give you up, never gonna give you down. Duh. Things she said that...

Are you ready for our next story? Our next? Our first story. Our first story, a little baby news actually in line. Is it Dave Grohl? Yeah. I wouldn't know if that's baby news. Little baby news. Okay.

Foo Fighters rocker Dave Grohl fathers a baby outside of his marriage and is working to regain his wife's trust. So Dave Grohl, out of nowhere yesterday, put out a statement on his Instagram saying this. I've recently become the father of a new baby daughter born outside of my marriage.

I plan to be a loving and supportive parent to her. I love my wife and my children. I am doing everything I can to regain their trust and earn their forgiveness. We're grateful for your consideration toward all the children involved as we move forward together.

Okay, I have a lot of thoughts. My first, of course, is... Like, that's what you get, Taylor. I want to tell you not to get lost in these petty things. Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing. Of course, my first thought was like, seriously? This was a pretty quick turnaround, you know? Love to see people out here failing and going through hard things when they seriously, out of nowhere, like, were clowning on Taylor. Oh, she doesn't perform live. Like...

It's just like obsessed, you know, from that. Yeah, no, like just get your own house in order before you're going to start like criticizing other people. It's so true. Get your own house in order, first of all. Second of all, I do find it like incredibly bizarre that he shared this. Now, I don't know if I would say that for anyone. Like he's like a rock star, right? And what do rock stars do? Like they just like,

They cheat and they fuck people and they like, you know, have babies. Like, I don't know. I just feel like it's not the craziest thing to me that, that he did this. The crazy part is like the well coiffed statement. I think maybe it was going to come out. Yeah. And so like, this takes a sting out of someone else announcing it without him. And then we see like, that makes it much more salacious versus him. Like,

- Sharing. - Letting us know first. Also, according to his Instagram that I'm now on, he has a book coming out in October that is like his memoirs of a girl. It's called "The Storyteller." So that's kind of really bad timing.

On the one hand, it's good. Oh, you know, press is good press. But on the other hand, like if this is the story of her life, like now all of a sudden, like it's not finished because this is a big piece of your story. I have to imagine also like the wife had, we had the wife's approval in sharing this because I would imagine she would have rather not, but it must have been coming out in one way or another and he wanted to get ahead of it because this is like,

It's not a reflection on her or anything she did, but I can imagine not wanting that out there and like feeling embarrassed. - Yeah, but also it's like, why should this be like her secret to keep for him? Like go out, admit your mistakes, go tell everyone what you did. It's like, I could see both sides of it where it's like now it's like this shameful thing that she has to keep private when it's like she didn't do anything wrong. - It's just a great day for people who hate Dave Grohl. Like really. - Yeah. - And I'm sure right now that includes his wife.

Yeah. And also like, when did he recently become a father? Like this, I wonder how long he knew that like he was, was he having an affair with a one person and that person became pregnant? Was it a one night stand? Right. Like, did he know about the pregnancy? Did he only find out about the birth? When was the baby born? It's just a lot. Yeah. I also just think like the statement was crazy. I can't explain it. The way it was seriously like out of nowhere.

Out of nowhere, so matter of fact, I appreciate that there's not one like useless sentence in this because usually we get like this. Yeah. And it's full of like word salad, yummy, yummy. And instead we just got, we got the need to know information. Yep. And I can appreciate that. 1000%. This is the sentence. I fathered a child outside my marriage. I don't know. It's just like a crazy way to say I cheated on my wife and got someone pregnant. You know, I think it's really, it's beautifully said. It's much more elegant. Yeah.

Yeah, I've recently become the father of a new baby daughter born outside of my marriage. As if like the second part doesn't change the entire first half of the sentence. I will say there are definitely a lot of men who would have, you know, ignored the woman and her child. So for that, he's not like a complete piece of shit. And he said, I plan to be a loving and supportive parent to her. And I think that's good. No, I agree. The bar is so low for fathers. And so this is good. Yeah. This is girl. This is girl.

And just like seriously watch your fucking mouth. Yeah. Literally. Just like people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones is the old adage. It's so true and they're so right about that. And you know what that old adage always makes me think of? I wonder if you can read my mind right now because this is like a really random niche thought and I don't know if I've ever shared it. That movie? The Glass House? Oh my god. You are seriously like my twin soul. I can't believe you knew what I was talking about.

- Yeah, it makes me think of that too. - It does, okay. - Does anyone remember that movie The Glass House? - With that woman who played the nerd DNA in Never Been Kissed, Lele-- - Wait, I'm pulling it up, The Glass House. - Sobieski, Lele Sobieski. I was just talking about her on the toast the other day too.

We were because she looks like someone. Yeah, she plays like the mathlete. Lely Sobieski, you're right. Because you know she's a religious Jew now. I don't know if she converted or if she was born Jewish. I think she's a convert, but she's like a very serious one. I think she quit the industry and committed herself to faith, which is beautiful. Also, Diane Lane is in it. And Chris Noth. Yeah, yeah, Diane Lane is in it. Okay, wait. It's the craziest movie.

Can you tell me the plot? I don't remember. I just know it's about some bitch who lives in a glass house. After the parents... Literally, I'm not talking about figuratively. Yes.

It's a spooky thriller. Yeah. It's so good. It's.

It's totally the sort of thing that sticks with you as a young in. I know. There are a couple of movies that I saw as a young child that I definitely like shouldn't have seen like too early and they never became popular that like, okay, do you remember when we were doing Toast Movie of the Week and I made everyone watch that movie Little Children? Yeah. With Patrick Wilson, Kate Winslet, um,

about like this pedophile who moves into a like he's like a sex offender pedophile who moves into a neighborhood. I like what that does to the neighborhood and then Kate Winslet is also like having an affair for some reason with Patrick Wilson. It's a bizarre movie. I don't know how I saw it and why I did but like

It's just like a fun fact about me that I've seen that movie. I mean, we've all seen it now. Yeah. During COVID, Jackie and I did this really fun series called Toast Movie of the Week where like to keep ourselves from like seriously jumping off the balcony, we would all watch a movie together every week and then like recap it. And we did like fun ones. We did sleepover. And then I was like, we need to watch this movie, Little Children. Now, granted, I hadn't seen it in a while, but I remember it being like just kind of crazy.

I definitely was misremembering. It was really dark and like disgusting and covered really like disturbing topics. And I apologize. I don't know if I did at the time, but now obviously I'm better. I've done better and I've learned and I've grown and I'm really sorry. We forgive you. You saw it, right? Like the fact that you didn't see that movie. Yeah, and at least now when you reference it, like we know what you're talking about. Yeah. And it's like another one like the whale. No comment.

Yeah, it's another one like The Whale. Like really disturbing, not based on true events. My only question I'm left is why? Like movies that didn't need to get made. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah.

- Bethany Frankel has a new man. - I saw, he's really cute. - He is cute. Like where does she find all these like handsome businessmen, like a handsome businessman convention? - No, it's so true. She is always finding these like good looking successful guys who we've never heard of, like the definition of businessman beau. And I do think it's because she, like as much as we like clown on her, she's like a reality star influencer,

She is such a successful business person and like a famous person. I do think she gets invited and like runs in very fabulous circles. I do think she goes to like big business events, cons, you know, like Sun Valley. And I can say with utmost certainty, there's nobody there like her. You know, she's really one of a kind. Right.

Right. So she has a budding new romance six months after her breakup from her ex-fiance Paul Vernon. She was photographed smiling and holding hands with businessman Tom Belante on a date night in Santa Monica on Sunday. She wore a flowy white dress with a plunging neckline and the two were spotted holding hands walking into a restaurant.

They went to Giorgio Baldi, which is pretty romantic. - And it's also like big celeb hotspot. I wonder who got the reservation. - Yeah, but she did not wanna be seen. - Him or her, well, of course, that's true too, but it's also hard to get a table. Who do you think got the reservation, him or her? - Oh, him. I feel like she likes, you know, tradition. - Yeah, yeah, I think so too. - Tradition. And she looks gargy-pargy.

This is nice, you know? I feel like these are the types of guys, like, the OG housewives of New York are always, like, dying to find when they go out. Like, businessmen, like, this is the type of guy, like, Ramona or Luann would eat alive in 35 seconds. So good to see her out here, like, slaying the game, slaying the dating game. Yeah, especially because things, like, got kind of low for her when, like, Paul moved on with Aurora. Like, that's kind of hard to...

Come back from. 1000%. But now like she's just. Not that it's a competition between the two of them. But if it were like now she's just one up Tim.

And it's not a competition, but it's not. No, but in any breakup, like, you're keeping tabs. Of course. It reminds me, of course, of when Joe Jonas and Gigi Hadid broke up. Kind of one of my great, I know I reference it a lot, but I feel like we can learn a lot from that time. Like, he was definitely, you know, hitting out of his league. And Gigi Hadid is supermodel, supermodel. And...

They were such a great couple. And I feel like it did really good things for his image too. And when they broke up, that was tough. Like, where do you go from there? How do you get better than Gigi Hadid? And you know what? He absolutely slayed with his next get, which was Sophie Turner, which I feel like is a good transition. Are we talking about...

Yes, it's a perfect transition. Just moved around my stories because Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner finalized their divorce after a messy custody battle. No, not sorry. I love a good seg. I feel like that was like really, I know it was so messy, but I do feel like once they decided, they obviously had a talk during all that crazy press and was like, listen, let's handle this privately, like for the sake of whatever. And I,

I think they kind of turned that around really quickly. And it's been very quiet ever since then. And divorces notoriously take a long time, especially when somebody lives in another country. I mean, in another state, let alone another country. I feel like they kind of tied this up really pretty, really quickly, really quietly. I think it's been a year because I remember this time last year, we were talking about them splitting up and it was like August, September, October. So according to TMZ, the exes came to a settlement on Tuesday. Though the details are confidential, infinite,

Information about their child custody agreement for their daughters is also unclear. Good. In light of finalizing his divorce, he sang a rendition of U2's I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For during the Jonas Brothers show in Dublin on Tuesday night. Oh, they finally made it to the European leg of their tour. I feel like people are always looking for meaning in things that are not meaningful. Like, you go to Ireland, you're obviously going to sing and you have to do a cover. Like, U2 is the pride of Ireland, right?

That's a good point. You also have to think about what U2 songs the Jonas Brothers fans are going to know, right? It's a totally different generation. This is a known song, but it's not Beautiful Day. It's Beautiful Day. That song is so good. Yeah. U2, I want to say, and I know this is a crazy thing, and I think that I'm still going to say it. I don't know if U2 ever fully recovered from that free album they put on everyone's phone. Now, if you're...

Really young. First of all, like, welcome. I can't believe you're listening to our show. Second of all, you might not remember there was a time where U2 did a partnership with Apple that, like, they were giving away free versions of their album. So if you had an iPhone, you just woke up one day and this brand new album. An iPod. Oh, was it iPod? I believe so. No, I feel like it was in our phones, which made it even more of an assault. Like, for real. You would wake up one day and, like, you just had this brand new U2 album in your phone that you did not ask for. Yeah.

And it backfired so poorly. Like you would think like we're giving away free music. What's the problem? It felt really like an invasion of our privacy. And at the time, like no one was interested in listening to U2's new music. And I feel like it did a lot of damage to their brand, to their reputation. To me, like I can't think of U2 without talking about that.

Yeah, Forbes, how Apple and U2 made an unforgettable blunder. No, it's true. And who is to blame? I don't know who's to blame because I'm sure they were paid handsomely for it and that's fabulous. But seriously, not okay. I never, I stayed there, dust collected around my pindah pear. Like I'm right there. I'm right where you left me. When it comes to U2, honestly, his daughter being in The Perfect Couple, that has moved it along for me a little bit. Oh, that's setting me back.

That was not a good one for me. No, but I mean, it's moving me along and thinking about something else. Thinking about different things. When I hear U2. So back to Joe Jonas. Him choosing that song, I feel like it can be explained in a multitude of ways. Now, what are U2's biggest songs? Beautiful Day, of course. U2. And I feel like, and I still haven't found. Like, that's a big one. What I'm looking for.

It is a big one. And you also have to think about like some people can't just like sing any song. You need to sing a song that's good for your register. It's true. He might have been limited. Just want to say I don't know if it was so Sophie coded, you know? Yes. No, I think you've made both points. Also with or without you. What's that?

I have actually no idea. I still haven't found what I'm looking for as top five. So I, you could be correct. It's like if an international artist came over here and like, what are they going to do? They're going to sing a Taylor Swift song. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Can we talk about Chapel Roan really quick? I know you like. Yeah, no, I almost like made it a story, but I was like. So Chapel Roan is taking the world by storm. And like, I've officially let the music wash over me. Like it is, and I'm holding space. I'm in a very serious way, like holding space for two truths, right? Yeah.

I think it's some of the best music. Ben is obsessed with Pink Pony Club. Like he wants to make a remix of it. It really is. Her music is so good. Like and now there's a new song that she performed and people are waiting. It's called Subway. Like it sounds so good. I'm holding space for Truth Truths. I think she's probably one of the most talented musicians of our time. Like and I think she'll be huge. She doesn't get in her own way because she has now done a handful of interviews. And I want to say...

she seems insufferable. Like all she does is complain. And you know me, I live to complain, but she's just like, like complain and like yell at everyone. And she's like, yells at her fans. And you know, don't take pictures of me. Don't call me by my name. So Chapel Rona is not her real name. It's her stage name. And I think she looks at her, um,

onstage persona, kind of like a drag queen, where it's like she wears all this makeup and these outfits, but if you saw her in real life, you wouldn't even remotely recognize her. She just looks like a regular girl. Her real name, I think it's Kaylee, and she does not like people using that name ever. She has a lot of really strict rules and boundaries around how she wants to be famous.

Which I actually respect to a certain extent. I feel like a good example is Sia, right? Mm-hmm. What the hell is Sia's real name? It's not Sia, is it? And there were many years where we never knew what she looked like because she did the big wig. There is a way to do it without, I feel, coming off ungrateful. Yeah.

Yeah, and Sia wasn't always like yelling at everyone. Yeah, and it's just with every interview, I'm like, oh my gosh. It's like bitching and moaning about something else. Like in this, she just, I think, sat down with Vanity Fair, really gorgeous photo shoot. And it's like, get to know Chapel Roan. And she's like mad that she didn't get famous sooner. And she's mad that people take pictures of her. And she's mad that H&M wants to work with her. It's like, well, if you're not bettering the world, like I'm not going to work with you. And while at its core,

That's a message I would agree with, right? Like, you know, you want to align yourself, especially at an early stage in your career, with brands whose values align with yours, of course. But like, my God, like so naggy, so Fabissina. Yeah. And the music is the total opposite. Like the music is pussy popping. I don't know. It's like I really am working hard to separate the art from the artist.

I see the music like on Instagram, like people's stories in real. So that's like the level, but it's not like I hear it in my daily life. So because I've seen all this like negativity about her, I'm like, well now I don't need to go seek it out. But the thing is like the music. Like I hadn't, I hadn't already fallen for it and I'm not going to now go and like support this artist. Like. I think you're missing out. Like the music.

It's really good. Like it's some of the best shit ever made. Like for real. And I think you would be surprised. And it's so embedded in culture now. Like you said, like you see it in people's stories and stuff. Like I think you would be surprised if you listen to like her top five songs, like how much you would know. Yeah. No, I agree with that. But like because they're not like I don't listen to them.

And I've avoided them for this song. Like everything she's doing doesn't make me want to go and stream her music. I know. It reminds me a lot of like Billie Eilish, like the Fabissina negative energy, like long face complain. Like, come on, like you're a beautiful young girl. Like, let's go. Yeah. Where's the joy? Where is the joy?

Bring back joy. Bring back joy. Bring back joy. Bring back joy. The movie. I was about to say, stream joy. Let's start making more movies like that about successful women being joyful named Joy.

Yeah, making products that we all love and use. Let me tell you, she ate with those velvet slimline hangers, you know? Boy, did she. She changed the world with those hangers. Now, the movie was obviously about her first hero product, the mop. Now, I agree it was a good product, but I don't think the mop had seriously as much of an impact on the culture as those slimline hangers did. Yeah, I still use them. Of course. If you don't, you're a savage. Yeah, I mean, some people like use pretty, like...

acrylic but you just must have like acrylic like hanging space for days no of course and like those plastic hangers are bad for the environment they're ugly like joy is over here revolutionizing things and i think we could all take a page out of joy's book i agree are you ready for our next story which is some more legal news some more when was the other legal news joe and sophie's technically legal news wow you ate me up you're 100 right

Diddy has been ordered to pay more than $100 million in his sexual assault case. So Sean Diddy Combs has been ordered to pay up in his legal battle. The rapper was ordered by a judge in Michigan's Lenawee County Circuit September 9th to pay over $100 million to inmate Derek Lee Cardello-Smith, according to court records viewed by E! News. Wait, just one person gets all this money?

Yes. This, uh, the judge granted Cardello Smith's motion for default judgment after Combs did not appear for the September 9th virtual hearing. Cardello Smith encountered the music mogul while working at a Detroit area restaurant in 1997, according to his lawsuit, um, which was obtained by variety. The two men went to a party where they began having sex with two women, uh,

I'm just going to trigger warning. When Combs allegedly touched Cardello Smith, Cardello Smith, who told Detroit Metro Times he's a self-taught student of civil and criminal statutes, then accused Combs of drugging his drink, so he passed out, saying Combs later sexually assaulted him that evening. Oh my God, what a fucking terrible story. Yeah. Oh, when I saw this, I thought there was like a...

like this $100 million was to go to like, you know, 10 or 11 Jane and John Does, but I didn't realize this was just one case for one person and literally not showing up to your virtual court. And by the way, you don't even need to show up, your lawyer does. That's really, that's wild. - Yes, also per public inmate records though, Cardello Smith is currently serving jail time on 12 sentences related to criminal sexual conduct and two sentences related to kidnapping. - Oh, okay.

That's confusing. Wait. Okay. I don't know like how to, where to go. Okay. I guess you can hold space for two things. Yeah. Like I guess. We're holding more than ever. Let's not talk about that guy. Okay. Let's just talk about Diddy for a second.

I feel like we all moved on too quickly from the fact that like Pete Diddy, who was just kind of like an American hero, you know, in some ways. Not hero. Like America's sweetheart, you know? Yeah. Everybody loved him. Like living this double life. Yeah. And how we've all, I feel for, especially when you're really into Hollywood and celebrity culture, like it's so easy to like slip into like conspiracy theories about like

hedonistic rituals and evil Hollywood predators. And you have to like either like believe it a hundred percent or not believe it because it's every now and then it's like, oh wait. And then something like this happens. You're like, wait, cause this is P Diddy. You know, everybody loves P Diddy. Everyone in Hollywood is friends with him. And they're saying like, this is what his parties were about. And then you look at everyone who's at his parties and just like, you know, with the swinging situation, I don't think everybody who's there is doing like terrible things, but it's,

It's not like something that was super hidden, it seems. No, and it's really hard to not then believe all these crazy things you've heard over the years about like sacrificing babies. Because it's so huge, P. Diddy. Like he is really, I feel, was the center of like a big Hollywood social scene for decades. Yeah. So I feel like we all moved on a little too quickly from that. Like I actually like forgot about it a little bit.

- Yeah, well I guess things are playing out in the courts and he's got a lot coming at him. - Now because his victim is serving jail time, doesn't make the crime any less egregious. It's just kind of a weird twist at the end of that story. But disgraceful, seriously disgraceful. And to not even show up and have enough respect for the judicial system, please. It's giving guilty energy.

Yeah. Also, Diddy's lawyers had said that this man is a convicted felon and sexual predator who has been sentenced on 14 counts of sexual assault and kidnapping over the last 26 years. His resume now includes committing a fraud on the court from prison as Mr. Combs has never heard of him, let alone been served with any lawsuit. Mr. Combs looking forward to having this judgment swiftly dismissed. It's just a shame because like...

He's like a liar. I know. When you got like a bunch of liars lying, what do honest people do? I know, but it does also kind of track, right? Because abuse is a cycle. Most people who are victims of abuse then become abusers themselves. And that could be what happened with this guy. Not that I'm like giving excuses. I don't know. Everyone here is guilty. Okay. It's a very yucky situation. And I want to take my foot out of it. I agree. This is not my problem. Like you guys are disgusting. I'm not.

Not you listeners, like the people involved in this. Like, seriously, I'm trying to like explain, get away. Like I don't do this. Wait, I did though have a dream that me and Ben killed two people. And Jackie, it was such a nightmare because like we knew that we killed two people and we're just like waiting for people to find out like the police. And it's so scary. And I'm just like, like riddled with guilt. Um,

And I know my whole life is about to blow up. And I also know that I'm sleeping. And I know that this is a dream. And I keep waking up and I'm like, girl, don't worry. You're going to wake up and go to work. Like it's not real. And every time I slip back into sleep, I'm back in the dream. And it's like, God forbid, when I'm having a dream that I'm married to Zac Efron, I could slip right back into it. Now that one ends swiftly. That one's gone. A dream where I've killed two people like on a couch in the middle of a lawn. I don't know. It was really weird.

Damn. I consumed a lot of like, I watched a debate and then I watched like Desperate Housewives and a little bit of Mormon Wives. So I had like a lot going on in my subconscious. Okay. Well, you had to work it out. I did. We worked it out in the remix. That's great. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? If it's our, yeah, sorry. Which is kind of like big crossover news. Like this is like Suite Life of Hannah Montana on deck for the new generation because I don't know if you saw, but Nara Smith was at Ballerina Farm.

With ballerini. You're fucking lying. Go to Ballerina Farm Stories. Like literally the imagery, it's better than you can imagine. So Nara and Lucky both went to the ballerina farm in Utah. Kids teaching Nara how to milk a cow. She was a natural. She was milking ballerina cows. She was with ballerina kids. She brought her baby too. Making brunch. Okay, there's the husband. There are her kids.

She got gifted a snake from one of Valerie's kids. Lucky B. Well, they were in New York literally yesterday for Fashion Week. He walked in Ralph Lauren and like she worked it as like an influencer. Then they did like a big meet and greet. I saw.

Oh my God. Nara. The collab of the century. No, this is really crazy. I know. I need to know what they talked about. I need to know. So they obviously like met through Instagram, right? Oh my God. I'm sad. This is so, they are both so pretty. Like. No, they're so great. I'm so glad that they're friends. Oh my God. This picture of them, their husbands and each of holding like their youngest kid. In front of their house with the American flag. Yeah.

Do you think that they spent the night? Because like it's far. They're out in like rural Utah. But Nara lives in Utah? No, they live in Texas. Oh, really? I think they live in Austin. Maybe they spent the night. Let me double check. Where does Nara live? I don't know why I thought she lived in Utah. Oh, because they're Mormon. They are. No, wait. At 18, she moved to California. Where do they live now? Oh, yeah. They live in Texas, but she just posted a big vlog. They're moving to Connecticut. Connecticut.

I think she's really raking it in with influencer things, especially in the fashion scene. And I think proximity to New York is becoming really important. It's always been important for him as a model. And I think he's been the one traveling for work and she stays home with the kids. But she's become a sort of breadwinner too, probably out-earning him. So now it's like they both need to be near New York. Okay, we'll move. But they still need that rural lifestyle. So they were looking at these properties in Connecticut. That's major for Connecticut. Yeah.

Huge for the Connecticut community. Yeah, they needed that. Oh my God, I can't believe these two got together. That's like, seriously? It's not even Suite Life because, because Suite Life, that's a Raven had, like they were all so different. These are two like very similar queens getting together. It's giving, you know, the, I need to think of like a,

I don't know. I hope they made some content together. Like I'm sure they had a fun day, but like I hope there's more that we can consume from this because that is just like so. But I think with their new house, they are looking to like have chickens. I think there was also like a research mission. Yes, exactly. Because they,

Right now, just like live in a house where they like have a pool and a yard and they make their own gum. But I think when she was saying in her vlog, they're really looking for something like with land. Yeah. And I think the first, it's a slippery slope. First you have land, then you have chickens, then you have horses. And I think they went over there to sort of learn about how they got started. The ranch lifestyle. That's really crazy because that's far out of their way to go. Yeah. They must be friends. Yeah. I mean, they should be.

Yeah, I think Nara Smith... Those girls gotta stick together. I think they're really the same, but they reach different people. I think Nara really reaches because of TikTok, like a younger audience. And Ballerini goes for like a little bit older, more moms, more millennial. Yeah, and I think people who watch Nara Smith's videos like...

see it like more aspirationally, but like less like practically, but her videos are also like, she, she makes them very aspirational. But people watch it in amazement. Whereas for ballerina, they watch with a pen and paper. Like, yeah, yeah, I think so. That's really the best news I've heard all day. Right? The pictures are really gorgeous. They're on ballerina's Instagram story. Hysterical. Hysterical. I can't.

Now, we have Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment, that is thankfully brought to you by State Farm. You know, well, let's call it Dear Neighbor for today because like a good neighbor, dear toasters are there. Exactly. So State Farm is, some would say, a core tenant here at the toast. They're one of our favorite brands to work with. We know that our toasters can agree to

there's nothing better than a personal win. So like, what's a recent personal win you've had? For me, it was like, I obviously had Swirly Summer. I'm not at the weight that I once was. And like, these pants still fit me. So like, pop off, queen. - Amazing. - What about you? - Personal win for me?

Well, you know, I hit my goal last week of home cooking every single night of the week, which is really major for me. And I'm actually, I'm on track for this week too, even though I'm not putting the pressure on myself. So maybe it's just become like habitual. Whatever it is that you define as a win, it does call for a celebration. And do you have any idea who's cheering right beside you? Oh, that's right. State Farm. And Turdy, of course. Of course, of course.

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So there are a lot of moments in life that call for celebration. Creating your State Farm personal price plan can be one of them. You can celebrate choosing the insurance coverage that fits your need at a price that you can afford. So talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, savings, and eligibility vary by state. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. And just to like sort of round it out, um...

Like a good neighbor stays there. Thank you. And State Farm is the sponsor of Dear Toasters. Oh, my God. Thank you for sponsoring Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment. So every Wednesday, Jax and I will take three submissions from the girlies or the boys, of course, who are in need. And when I say girlies, I don't mean like gender. I just mean like the girlies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

from the Swerly's in need. So if you ever need advice from us about anything from like work, relationships, family, and you say like, oh, I wish I could hear from Jackson Claude, you actually can. Email us, deertoasters at gmail.com or head to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. If you scroll down, there's a little submission box for Dear Toasters. Both methods are completely anonymous. We will not blow your shit up. Um,

And we're just going to try and help, you know? And if also, if you have written to us and we've given you advice, like, can you please update us on what's going on? I hate when people leave us hanging. Even though hopefully, like, our advice worked out so well for you, you totally forgot about us because you're busy being happy. Right. Hopefully. Okay. Hello, ladies. I need your advice. My husband and I got into vaping this summer.

Now that fall is here, we agreed that we both should quit. For the past two weeks, we have quit vaping, but I have secretly been doing it when he's not home. Do I need to come clean, try to quit now? Is this not a big deal? What do I do? I mean, this is really a question for LaTurt. I don't even remember when I quit vaping.

But was it like a big thing for you? I mean, I was vaping a lot during COVID and even like before in 2019, like mostly like social vaping. I never really got to the point where I was like, wake and vape, you know? Yeah, and it sounds like that's where this girl is because she's doing it when he's not home. So like during business hours. For sure. It was always like an afternoon delight or like with a glass of wine, but I was never like-

addicted addicted I would say. So I actually had a pretty easy time quitting but that's because I got to a place where I really wanted to quit. Now I think if you're quitting because like your husband is and like you don't have any you know like love for quitting in your heart it might not stick and it seems like it hasn't stuck so I think you need to evaluate

If you do want to quit, like for me, like nobody could tell me shit. I've been for like three or four years. Nobody could tell me shit. Like you could tell me all you wanted. I saw all the videos, popcorn lung. Like I was like, it's not going to happen to me. And like, if it does, like if it happens to me, like I'm happy. Like, I don't know. Like you just, you couldn't. And then I got to a place, especially in like my fitness journey where I felt like it was really hindering me. And I would like get home from a workout and vape. Like, okay, what?

And I was so out of breath. And so it really took a toll on me. I really, I had this genuine desire to quit that like the first two days were super hard. And then I seriously like moved on with my life. And I was actually just remarking the other day, like not me being nine months clean. Like, okay, queen. Nine months sober, I must confess.

Oh, you guys, I must admit is the lyric. And please, this is your reminder to remind me that whenever 10 months after January 1st is, please remind me so I can post a picture of me vaping saying, 10 months sober, I must admit, just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it.

Is that a reminder? So when it comes to your husband, like you don't need to come clean. Okay. You're allowed to have secrets and this isn't like a big damaging one. If you do want to quit, like start quitting now. It's never too late. You can always quit. He doesn't need to know that like, yeah, for a couple of weeks you. Yeah. If you're going to quit, then you don't need to tell him. But if you are going to keep vaping, like you said, like Claudia said, like you don't want to quit. You don't have good enough reason to quit. And like you like vaping. You should share that with him then. Because like that's if you're doing it in secret, like that's weird.

Yeah. Now, I just want to say, like, you've only been vaping, you started vaping in the summer. So it's like, I don't feel like it's been enough time to like really cause any damage. Like, you're fine. You mean if she quits now? Yeah. And you know what? Like, I saw something that was really, what's the opposite of disheartening? Heartening? Yeah. I saw something like a meme that was so heartening where...

when I was like struggling with really wanting to quit but like not being able to and then I did it on New Year's I was like okay it's over it was like a picture of like your heart or it was like a bunch of statistics like this is what happens after one day of not vaping one month in one year and it was like you can really get your lungs back to like really good capacity after a year um

And so it made me feel good that like the damage I did like wasn't so permanent. Yeah. So just know, I'm not trying to convince you to keep vaping. That is what it sounds like. Just know like there is life after vaping. I was also really worried that like when I drank, I wasn't going to enjoy drinking anymore because the best part of vaping for me was like vaping drunk. Like, oh my God. Yeah.

And let me tell you, I've had many a cocktail since then. It's completely fine. I also think for this girl, it's easier to quit now. The shorter you're doing something, the easier it is to quit than like if it really has become a part of your life after a year. Like it's much harder to go back to old habits. So I would quit now if you're even, if you're wanting to. I would recommend quitting as well, but I don't think you need to tell your husband. Like just get back to quitting. Like just get back to quitting. Right, right. I agree. Just get back to it. Mm-hmm.

I mean, by the way, your husband's definitely cheating too. Like let's be real. It's so hard. Um, and in terms of like tangible, people always ask me like tangible things that they did. Did you use like a non nicotine? They make different vapes that are like totally non nicotine, non tobacco that are fine for you. Um, I didn't, I just went cold Turkey and I think that's the best way to do it. Yeah. Chew a lot of gum. Oh, and just know like you will gain five to 10 pounds. Like it is what it is. It was also an appetite stimulant. Hey girlies, yeah. You know what I mean? Thank you.

Hey, girly swirlies. My boyfriend of almost two and a half years seems to be allergic to the words, I love you. At our two-year mark, we were deciding if we were going to move in together, and I finally worked up the nerve to address it and told him I couldn't move in if we hadn't said these words yet because what's the point? He essentially said he doesn't know for sure and proceeded to ask, how would I know?

Like we're at the Learning Annex or something. Mind you, we're in our early 30s. I explained how I felt and how I knew after a long conversation, he finally said, you know I do. I thought, phew, okay. We moved in together and that was in May. He still doesn't say the words I love you like ever. His actions say he loves me, so it's not really like I question it. But he's still not a... But it's not like... Sorry. He still doesn't say the words I love you. His actions say he loves me, so it's not really like I really question that he does. But obviously...

he's still not 100% sure if he won't even say it. I'm not happy with it, but I am so happy with him and I love our life together. Am I Delulu thinking he loves me and it's okay that he won't say it? Or should I press the issue more and possibly break my own heart? I just want to say like you making it to the two year mark with your boyfriend never saying I love you, like you are a greater woman than I. For sure. But honestly, it's giving Shailene an Aaron. Like I feel like he's an Aaron where he loves you. He doesn't need to say it. And also it's kind of a good

of a good question like how do I know how do you explain like what love is it's really like a feeling and you when you know you know but like I could understand if he's a very like practical person how do you know it's kind of like my favorite quote from a walk to remember love is like the wind like you can only feel it you can't like see it or touch it or explain it now I think that if

what's most important here is that he shows you that he loves you and you feel loved, but he's just not like saying it all the time because that's better than the opposite, right? Like someone who disrespects you, but it's constantly like telling you that they love you. That's true. And if your relationship otherwise is like totally good, it's just this like one thing. Some people are weird about the word. Some people like didn't grow up being told that.

That they love you. Their parents didn't say it to each other. They like just aren't as comfortable with that word as other people are. So if what you're saying is true, that like everything else is really great and your relationship is where it should be. It's just like, he's funny about this word. I think it's workable. I'm a little too comfortable with the word. I actually, thank you for reminding me. I said it to somebody yesterday and it was the third time ever meeting them. Yeah. I say it all the time.

- All the time. But also, but like I say it love ya bye. Like there's the love ya. - Yeah. - I get off the phone like with State Farm love ya bye. - Oh my God, it's so embarrassing. - But I also, like when I have the depth where I say it to where it like, it means something.

No, I think your point about like some people really have a, not an aversion, but it's not a part of their everyday lingo because it's so much like about how you grew up and like your parents and parents saying it to you and parents saying it to each other. Like we grew up in a family where like we all gave each other lots of kisses and lots of love, like very affectionate verbally, physically. And so that's why we say it the way that we do. So you have to come from a place of understanding like this person probably did it. I do think it's really crazy to be two years into a relationship and never having said it.

No, but then they got, like she already did that. So then it was like two and a half years. I'm just stuck there with that fact, honestly. She put in that work. Then it's two and a half years. They're moving in together. He lets her know in a roundabout way that he does love her without really being able to say I love you. And now he doesn't say it.

As a follow up. So you know what? Part of being in a relationship is like giving your partner what they need. And so I feel like if you communicate, you say he's like a very good boyfriend, understanding he makes you feel safe. Like so if you say to him, listen, like kind of like love languages, like I need to hear words of affirmation that you love me. Like that's what I need. What do you need? I think having that conversation is fair and like giving him an opportunity, like being like, I know you're like not that type of person, but like that's just what I need in this relationship to feel safe. What do you need?

Yeah, I don't know, but it could end up like Shailene and Aaron, where it's like you guys just are missing each other. Well, then Shailene and Aaron weren't meant to be together, so... Just saying. Just saying.

I think having a conversation is so fair. Yeah, of course. You should communicate that. But what if he can't? What if like it just doesn't occur to him to use like to if you stop him, he'll say, yes, I love you. But like in everyday small moments, like if it's not a part of his vocabulary, he's not going to remember to say it. Well, like a really good partner would work on it because you express that it means something to you and it's something you need like a validation. Good luck.

Yeah. I feel like deep into my relationship, Ben and I finally started talking about acts of service and those love languages. I thought it was kind of boo-hicky. No, but then you become a podcaster and everyone has to do the love language quiz. And by the way, let me tell you, it was super helpful. When me and Ben took the quiz, I remembered his and I think he remembers mine. Mine is totally acts of service, right? Obviously, I'm so lazy. Ben's is so words of affirmation and time together. And so once I kind of

I knew that bed liked that, but once I like put it into words and phrases, I was like, okay, that's how I know how to be like a good wife. No, and you were probably doing all this other stuff that you thought was showing him that you loved him and it like wasn't moving the needle when it's like if you just channel your energy in a different way. No, we clown on love languages, but let me tell you, identifying your own and your partner's is helpful. Maybe take the quiz with him. Seriously. Yeah. Seriously. Yeah. That's my advice. Give it a shot.

Okay, this one's like so crazy. And it's our third and final. Dear Jackson Claude, my husband and I recently left town for a long weekend and we left our kids with our babysitter who we've used many times over the last year and a half. She's always been over the top, great with the kids. She's also a nurse. Dream come true.

On this trip, we set up a camera in our master bedroom because we have cleaners, dogs, etc. The babysitter had her own room and bathroom. I started to realize I was getting a lot of notifications on this master bedroom camera, so I glanced quickly and realized the babysitter, on multiple occasions, was in our bedroom, searching through every drawer, bedside table, cabinet, closet. At one point, she enters the room with a bag and appears to be thinking about taking things. She only took an old sweatshirt. On our outdoor ring camera, we also saw she took a bag of toilet paper and paper towels. We immediately flew back with the excuse...

my husband had like that someone came up for work I have not paid her I've not confronted her about the situation after seeing the videos I worry she could be like kind of unhinged I also worry I will never be able to trust another sitter again yeah you got to worry about the unhinged yeah I want to say like somebody's stealing toilet paper and paper towels like in this economy I understand like to me that's it's not giving deranged but like stealing someone's old sweatshirt like that's giving that kind of crazy person now I would pay her

And I wouldn't say anything to her because what, is she going to fix her behavior and you'll trust her with your kids? No. So like pay her and be like, oh, thank you so much. And then ghost her. You never have to see her again. She could think, you know, you never left town again. I agree. And that's going to keep a crazy, a potential crazy person at bay, right? Like no bad blood. Pay her. Thank you so much.

Never again. That's what I would say. Because if you then activate a crazy person, then she'll come over to your house and like in the middle of the day. Yeah, if you don't pay her, she'll come over looking for her money. Like she was taking toilet paper. She's not about to let her paycheck go. But now I need you to talk about like how do you then trust someone else? Oh, I mean every person is different. But you do have to do like a lot of vetting. And I think also like spending time with the person before you leave. Yeah.

for a trip or to leave for work, like to really establish trust before you have to trust them. Cause you can't trust is built and it's earned. It's not just something that like you flip a switch and you're like, I trust this person that I don't know. So I think to judge the next person based on what the previous person did is not fair, but definitely to learn lessons is fair. And what is like, cause I remember always, everything comes back to the nanny diaries, Scarlett Johansson's best work. And she discovers there's like a nanny cam in the bathroom.

I am the whatever. And I feel like in movies and TV, they talk about nanny cams a lot as like this kind of crazy thing. But I feel like, is it like not that crazy? Like, is your kid with, you know? No, it's not that crazy. And also nowadays, like everyone has cameras everywhere.

Inside their homes, outside of their homes. There's Blink, there's Google Nest. Like everyone has cameras in their house or at least there's baby monitors. So I think when you're putting, the only thing about like those nanny cams, it's like you're putting it somewhere where the person doesn't know that there's a camera. But I think nowadays everyone should expect that there are cameras. I guess that's true. That's the difference between like a nanny cam and just like all the cameras that people have for like baby monitors and stuff. It's like you see it mounted to the wall. Right.

Versus like incognito. But I don't think it's that crazy. No, that's how you establish trust. Right, right, right. But like Scarlett Johansson was really pissed when she found out. Yeah, she was.

But she was also on the brink of like some sort of breakdown at that moment in time in the film. She's like, she's taking the kids room apart. She wasn't like actually mad about finding it. She was like, she was mad and then she found it and she gave her diatribe because they were listening. Yeah. That's the funniest. By the way, that movie is so good. It is. We rewatched it recently. It's really good. 10 out of 10. Mm hmm.

So those were Dear Toasters. Hopefully the swirlies get the help that they so desperately need. If, again, you want to write in, it's deartoasters at gmail.com or head over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com.

And we gave you so many movie recommendations today. Little Children first. United 93. United 93, actually. The Nanny Diaries, Glass House. And by the way, not Little Children. That was not a recommendation. No, I was kidding. But in all seriousness, like seriously, United 93. If you're going to watch something tonight, like you need something, it's really a very powerful movie. Yes, agreed.

It's a movie I feel like is so, like I could really, I've only seen it once and I cried so hard. I don't know if I could ever watch it again. Yeah, I agree with that. But I think once is enough to just know what happened. Exactly. So thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast five stories that you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere. Podcasts can be found on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeart, and CastBox. All the posts on the web is in the podcast. So don't leave it fast. We'll be about a beautiful setting in Wicc. Get laid talented we are. Love ya. Bye.

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