Big Sho, Big Bug, Big Katy: September 20th, 2024
01:06:24 Share

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the toast. Oh my god, I'm gonna cry. I just am like sort of putting together that it's Friday. That's huge. Hey Jax, how you doing? Speaking of huge, no I'm kidding. Wow, speaking of huge, your love for me and admiration. I just want to say you are perfect. I just saw the opportunity for a funny joke and I made it. It had seriously no reflection on you. I'm so sorry. I've been there before, so I can take it. You're perfect. Perfect.

Baby, you're perfect just the way you are. That would have been like a Glee. I was going perfect One Direction. Of course, of course, of course. That would have been a Glee class episode where they did mashups. Like we would have done Bruno Mars X One Direction because that sounded really good. Do it again. I was going One Direction. You were going New Directions. I know you guys say you turned into the toast. You tuned into the toast today, but you actually tuned into a Glee reboot show.

We are bringing back Glee. One of my, like, my personal Roman Empire is that I actually recorded an episode of the Glee Recap Podcast, which was hosted by Tina Cohen Chang, Jenna Ushkowitz, who is a toaster, by the way. And Artie. And Artie, Kevin. And the episode that we recorded, they had me watch a episode of Glee, and we literally recapped, and it was that episode where...

becomes the understudy for Rachel in Broadway. And I was just going off how unrealistic that was. And it made me hate the character of Santana. It changed the way I saw her forever. And a couple of days before my episode was supposed to come out, actually, Naya Rivera passed away.

So they squashed my episode for obvious reasons. And then they like never asked me to re-record another one. I think the podcast is no longer with us. I didn't know that that's what happened. Oh yeah. I thought the episode came out. I guess the episode I'm thinking about is when you went on the Twilight Rewatch podcast. I did go on the Twilight Rewatch podcast. Yeah. Kind of a big feather in my cap. It was the best moment of my life. One of my greatest achievements is becoming friends with Ashley Green who played Alice in Twilight. Like,

We can't even go into how much we've watched Twilight as a family. Like the movie, the franchise means so much to us, but Alice specifically. And the night that I met her, I was like, oh, hi, what's your name? Ashley. Like we were just, I'm like, oh, what do you do? She's like an actress. Like not me literally knowing everything about her. I got so drunk by the end of the night. I was like, I just have to tell you, Alice means so much to me and my family. Not me three hours later, but earlier being like, what do you do for a living? Right. I'm a big loser like that. Yeah, I feel like it's better now.

to just be out with it, just, you know, but I don't know. I think everyone's different is what it is. - Let me tell you, Ashley Greene is so nice. And I think she understands like the Twilight lore. She understands her significance in the culture. And I think she like leans into it. And then I went on her podcast. So it was a win-win for all of us.

- Yeah, like I was at an event this morning, not that I'm a huge star or anything, but I like met like a fellow mama and she introduced herself and I was like, "I'm Jackie." And she was like, "I know who you are." I was like, "Perfect, out of the way, great." - Yeah, I think that it's very similar to me and Ashley Greene, what you just went through, I agree. - It's very similar, 'cause I'm a big glamorous celebrity.

was that not what I was saying earlier in the week? Like we need to start acting like glamorous celebrities. I think everybody needs to start acting like glamorous celebrities. We are. Yeah. Yeah, we are. I saw Sebastian Madiscalco last night at Madison Square Garden. I have so many thoughts. First of all, you, the tour is huge. You need to go. It was so Jackie coded. Was it a huge part in his show about summer camp?

Okay. And about how like, you know, he's the son of an immigrant. Like immigrant families do not send their kids to camp. Like their parents tell them to go in the backyard and dig a hole. He had a huge thing about obviously like family and kids, which I think you would really like, but also Elon. Yeah.

He's like, you ever hear this guy talk? He was so funny. Let me check his tour schedule. And, you know, I always show up to comedy shows on time because I actually really do like to see openers. I feel like, you know, even- You love discovering new talent? No, I feel like some of the most funny comedians of our time, like, are unknown, you know? Okay. Oh my God. He had two openers. The second opener is this guy, Pete, who he hosts his podcast with, The Pete and Sebastian Show. Jackie-

Like, I was hysterically crying. I literally, I don't want to repeat it because it's never funny when somebody comes out here and, like, tries to repeat. But he did this whole thing about hotel towels. Like, the difference in how you treat your towels at home. How you treat towels in a hotel.

Oh my God, it was so funny. Like seriously, he's like, I make a towel last a whole week at home. But if a hotel towel even like falls on the floor, a clean one, like I kick it to the corner. Like it literally becomes like. Yeah, no, they're like bath mats. And then he was like talking about the difference in your reaction when you spill something on the carpet at home versus when you spill something.

in a hotel jackie i i'm gonna cry just thinking about it it was so funny like me and ben could not stop laughing like seriously belly laughs it was such a great way to spend the night like yeah even though me and sebastian are different cultures right he's italian i'm jewish and he's like the son of an immigrant and his dad is really like a lot of his material um it's very similar right culturally and i think that like most of the people in the audience like he he

you know, attracts a lot of Italians, but he attracts a lot of like immigrants and like people who are really, um, into their culture. So I thought like there was a lot of Jewish people there and he's married to a Jewess, correct? I met her and I met his kids. Oh my God. His kids, he has a daughter and a son. His son is Sebastian. Like it's the, and he walks around with like this Moab. He's so cute. Oh my God. They were like so cute. And his wife was so nice. Um,

But wait. Oh, so he was talking about it. I was like, his immigrant dad doesn't believe in anything. And Sebastian's whole set is really about how he's 51 and, like, his body's falling apart. He's like, this can't be 51. And he goes to the doctor and he's getting massages and chiropractors. And his father doesn't believe in any of this. Like, seriously. You know, his physical comedy is so funny. So he literally...

contorts himself like into a hunchback pretending to be his dad. He's like, what are you going to a chiropractor for? Jackie, me and Ben were dying. Honestly, going to a comedy show is such an underrated way to spend the night. I just left like high. I had tears in my eyes. My makeup was running. I was laughing so hard. It was also just a really good show. Oh, and I got to see my friend Sebastian before the show. So yeah. Of close, of close. Your close personal friend, Sebastian. And I ran into Dr. Fox. It was kind of like the everybody who's everybody was in one room.

Totally. I heard from you that you saw Dr. Fox. I heard from Dr. Fox that he saw you. I forgot to tell you that like he texted me the same picture and was like, we miss you. Dr. Fox texted me. He was like, are you at Sebastian Maniscalco? And I'm like, okay, Merriam-Webster defined stalker. Yeah. But we were like sitting right next to each other. It was just kind of the place to be. And he brought out Jerry Seinfeld the night before. And he told us that when we were backstage. I'm like, anyone else coming out tonight? He's like, no.

Yeah, that's a little dicey, right? Right. But the show was perfect. I wouldn't change a hair on his head. It doesn't sound like the show was lacking anything. No. I saw he's coming to town in the spring, so I will definitely put that on my calendar. Jackie, you and Zach would love it. And it's also like, it's nice family-friendly humor. It's not disgusting, like penis vagina jokes. Like it's really, it's family-friendly. It's hysterical. Okay. Okay.

consider me booked. Yeah, you should definitely. You know what? I can call up Sebastian and get you some tickets. I actually, I have a hookup because he's playing somewhere where I have a hookup. Oh my gosh. If you know. She's a glamorous celebrity. If you know, you know. I do know. You do? She's a glamorous celebrity. You do know? Yeah, the Panther Stadium. They love you there. Oh, I love the Panther Stadium because it's cold. But...

It's not the Panther Stadium. Oh, you have another hookup? Oh, I do know. Secret Project alert. Secret Project, my big hookup. I do know. Secret Project alert. So that's all I'll say about that. Big morning. It is Friday, so it's a cause to celebrate around here. We've got a big show for you. Jackets with Jay. Big fun. Big Jay. Big Katy. Big Katy.

Big Katy album drop today. I actually, if you want to do like a little recap now, I think it would be the time. You didn't choose it as a story? I didn't choose it as a story. I started to listen to the album. I haven't finished it yet, but I have a few initial thoughts. Like, first of all, it's like kind of short. And the first song is Woman's World. Wait, there's two songs she's already released? Right. And three songs she's already released. Because of that collab. The next three songs are collabs that were all really bad. So I didn't even finish listening to them. And then the fourth, the fifth song.

Which is called? Which is called, I need to get the name because we have a litigious moment on our hands. Oh. It's called Crush and it is a carbon copy, copy and paste of Xerox. It's a fascist smile of Catch My Breath by Kelly Clarkson. Oh, I need to listen to it. I was drawing my hair when that one was on. Kalaya Kelly Clarkson.

- Call the lawyers. - The thing is, like the legal fees would be more expensive than her earnings because nobody's listening to that song. Like Kelly really shouldn't waste your time with this. Let me say this. - No, it's a really good song to listen to if like Catch My Breath is like skipping on your Spotify that day.

Okay, I have so many thoughts on this album, all mostly negative. The two songs that she released, "Lifetimes" and "Women's World," I love, they're definitely the best songs in the album. - "Women's World." - "Women's World." And then there are two other songs that I think are good from the album. That's literally it. - There's a song that I liked, by the way. - Oh, let's see if it's the same one as mine. I screenshotted. - "All the Love." - "All the Love," yes. - I liked it. - And "Wonder."

Didn't get there because that's the last song on the album. It's the last song on the album. I wonder what...

what it's like to be loved by you. If it's not that, send it home. It's the only song on the album that I feel is authentic to Katie. Like, it's what she's, her daughter is like, her voice is sampled on it. It sounds like a love letter to her daughter. It's giving very much all I know so far by Pink. Like imparting all your wisdom onto a younger generation. And I wish the whole album had had that sort of sincerity because that's what Katie's going through right now. Like she needs to stop pretending. It's giving bon appetit. Like everything else is like her LARPing as

different artists and different genres. And it's weird and cringy and that lyrics make no sense. Aside from the theft of crush, even the concept, like I have a crush. Like you have a husband and a child. But you're a mother. Like it's something that a 16 year old would be singing about my crush. Now I read a variety review of this album that was so perfect and it matched all my thoughts. So if it sounds like I'm plagiarizing, I had the thoughts first and he's just said it better. It was Sparky Plastri.

Jackie, I didn't realize because he was really talking about how the rollout of the album was obviously marred in scandal and really the Dr. Luke of it all. And I didn't really realize that when you look at the trajectory of Katie's music career, where things fell off is the first album she did without Dr. Luke because of the allegations made against him. And that was Wonder. Wonder? Is that what it's called? Is it even the album? No, what was the one after Prism? Witness. Thank you.

And that was like the first sort of smaller flop. And it just kind of went downhill after that. So I think that when we were trying to understand why she did what she did with Dr. Luke after that Call Her Daddy interview where she gave us no explanation.

I'm now understanding that the partnership with Dr. Luke, I think she thought like, all right, I'll deal with whatever backlash, but it's the only way to get back to teenage dream. It's the only way to get back to this. And so now knowing that she made this decision consciously for her own benefit and like really just like, fuck everyone. I want to be the top of the game again. Like,

makes me think even lower of her, honestly. Like I didn't think that I could, I wasn't sure what the reasoning was and now I really understand like she, the only magic she was able to ever make musically was with him and ever since then she hasn't been able to capture any sort of mainstream success. And so her just throwing all her morals out the window, like working with someone whom, like her peers, like people she has to see at events, Lady Gaga, Kesha,

Are his victims? Like, I don't know. I don't think I could possibly, you couldn't possibly sink lower than that. I'm sorry. The bar is so low and that's what you do. And out of all the possible scenarios for why she worked with him that we were thinking about on the show, like maybe like she loves Luke and doesn't believe that he did those things. Like all of those are,

better options than this truth which is that like serving her own self-interest she knows that he like she doesn't think he didn't do it like she knows that he likely did it because she stopped working with him yep that didn't go well for her and like she's gonna wash away all of those things while also singing about how it's a woman's world it's so hypocritical

And what the Variety article really pointed at was like, she took this huge sacrifice for Dr. Luke because, you know, two things can be true. He is accused of rape, but at one point he was able to make amazing music. So she thought that was a trade-off. Like, I will get backlash, but the music will be good. And the sort of very...

ironic, poetic justice at the end. It's like the music is actually not even good. Yeah. And what this reviewer said, which I completely agreed with, was the very last song is what the album should have been. And her inability to see that is...

in her VMA speech, she was like, you know, you don't get to have a career like I do, like without criticism, but if you just like block that out. And he was like, yeah, she obviously has blocked out any sort of helpful criticism of her music and her career, because this is how we got here. And this is how she thinks that that last song is sufficient. When the whole album should have been that, but she's unable to really grasp her place in music right now and who she is as a human being.

because she like blocks out the noise, which yet in theory is like, yeah, you should block out your haters. But like, these aren't haters. These are legitimate criticisms. - No, but it's like, you can block out the noise, but what's happening in her sealed off room is also like not good. She's not being authentic to Katie. She's like trying to go back in time,

But you have to evolve. And I really feel like this is becoming a theme on this show in music today of like people who put their whole selves into their music and people who don't. And like, even if the beats per minute are good and the beat is good, like when I'm listening to something and it doesn't make me even passively like feel something, I don't need, I'm cooking. I don't need to be weeping. I'm already cutting onions. I'm crying. Like it doesn't just like move me in any sort of way.

I don't become attached to it. Yes, when you think about music this year that has made a real impact and that has moved you, and the biggest women in music, what are they doing? They are bleeding out for the art. It's an art. And to treat it like that, I think you'll find is rewarding. And the women who don't, I think they're flopping. Dua Lipa, Katy Perry. Dua Lipa's last album made no impact. Houdini had a moment.

like I liked it. The whole album as a whole kind of came and went. Yeah. But then you think about like Sabrina and Taylor and Olivia and Casey and Beyonce having interesting conversations in your music and sharing personal things like that's going to connect with other women. Yeah. Yeah. So overall I'm giving it like like a one out of five.

Yeah, so far, how many songs are on the album? So I think I like three songs total. So I'll give it a three out of 11. Oh, and the- That's fair. That actually is fair. What's like a, okay, so I give it a four out of 11. So what's that in like a percentage? 11's a hard number to be divisible by. So let's say 10, because that gives her an extra bump. So 40%. If I give her a three out of 10, I'm giving her a 33. Okay, so I'm giving her a two out of five.

Based on my math. Okay, that feels right. That does feel right. I like that. Okay, we officially have a rating system. Rooted in math based on gender. Based on gender. And I also learned that the album title 143 is an old beeper code. When you used to have pagers, you would beep someone 143. It means I love you. I love you. I has one letter, love has four, you has three. I don't think it's a great week for beepers though. No, it's not. But also, how does that...

- I think that also 143 is a good BPM. That's what she was saying in a different interview. Like that's 143 beats per minute is like,

Bop. It's certified bop. Like that's what you want to achieve. So I think she was really concerned with the BPM on this album, less so like the meaning and the heartfelt nature. And all the artwork, all the aesthetic. And then 143 is I love you. I feel like everybody knows that. I didn't know that. The whole thing just feels like a real like desperate attempt to be like young and relevant. And it's okay to not be. Like I feel like she won't embrace this situation.

like, latter phase of her career. And if she did, I think it would be so much more successful. Like, you are not 22. You are a mother. Like, that's so much more interesting. Like, lean into that. I feel like Pink is so good at that. Like, she really is making some of the best music of her career today. And because she talks about motherhood, getting older. Like, these are things that people are going through. Like, stop running from it. Also,

Also, you know, when you think about the biggest pop girl, he's like Katie, Beyonce, tailored Adele. I was listening to the song Crush and like Katie and Adele are actually kind of in the same place in their lives. And I was like, Adele would never.

There is no reason. I know Adele is on a whole nother level, but like Katie has an unbelievable voice. She's an incredible musical talent. She was writing songs for other people before she became an artist herself. There is absolutely no reason why her songs can't be in Crayab. Not the exact same sound as Adele, but the same amount of heft. No reason why not. There is a way to age well and gracefully as a pop. Could you think of pop? Obviously like the, I feel like Taylor Swift talked a lot about that in her documentary. She's like, I'm turning 30 and I don't know how to like,

be a pop star. And it's a fair thing. And I think she struggled a little bit with like Lover and then she found a really good group with like Folklore, Evermore, TTPD. So there is a way, there's a proven track record, Adele. There is a way to grow up

and go through, you know, different things, motherhood being one of them and still be a pop artist. And the way she's doing it is the total wrong way. She looks silly. - I feel like also when I think about Katie's like downhill drive, it started with the witness era. And she said like a number of times that she's gonna make purposeful pop, purposeful pop, like pop that has, I think she also became like political and it was all like with purpose.

And obviously that flopped. And I think now she has done a complete 180 where it's like meaningless pop. I am doing meaningless pop and meaningless pop is what I'm going to do. And I'm going to be putting on these outfits that make no sense with what I'm singing about. I'm going to be singing about stuff that's not going on in my personal life. And it's going to be absolutely meaningless because nobody wanted purposeful. And it's like, doesn't ever have to be all or nothing.

Of course, the aesthetic, the outfits, the cover art, it makes no sense. It's not reflective of where she's at in her life. She's like running from her real life. It's bad. The more you look, like the more you really look into it, which I'm now like very deep in the lore, the worse it gets. Like you just have to look away. Yeah. Like I will finish the album as like a homework assignment for this job and I might save all I love and wonder. Yeah. Yeah.

Every time they come up on my playlist, it's like, ooh, hmm. It's, yeah, we will not be talking about anything on this album in two weeks' time. Right, right. So it is a woman's world, though, and you're lucky to be living in it. I feel extremely grateful. Yeah, I feel extremely grateful, like, period, to be living in this world. This great country of ours. Yeah. Like, hashtag grateful. Blessed. Blessed.

We have a great show. We've got really good stories. We have Queenie and Weenie of the Week, which I kind of mulled over it for the first time. My Queenie, I won't give it away, is not a human being.

You'll just have to wait and see what I mean by that. Okay. Well, without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you do need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you do need to know are brought to you by Dr. Teals. So recover and relax with Dr. Teals. An essential, a core tenet of

of toast. So Dr. Teal's is one of my favorite brands when it comes to bath products. Their foaming bath, their body wash, they make the best products, the best scents. They are made so well. They are made different. And you're going to say like, how is this different from all other bath products? Trust and believe it is.

So Dr. Jail's products are powered by magnesium and essential oils. So they're pure Epsom salts, they're foaming bath products, and a variety of their other wellness products are all powered by magnesium and essential oils. Magnesium is one of these like magical essential vitamins. Ben has been like getting into magnesium over the last couple of years and we love Dr. Jail's. I don't take a bath without, I love that lavender one. They have ones that also like put you, that's like for, because I take a bath before bed a lot, like to ease you into bedtime, which I love being a part of my bedtime routine.

So you really will feel the difference with Dr. Teal's after just one bath. It's basically love at first bath.

I can attest, I am a Dr. Teal's fan, tried and true, before they became a sponsor. It's also great for muscle recovery. So if you work out, I take a bath pretty much after every single workout. I find that it really helps with being sore. I hate being sore. And Dr. Teal's really changes the game. It's great to do a soak in their Epsom salts after a hard workout. You will find your recovery to be a lot more pain-free. So find Dr. Teal's at Walmart or at any major retailer near you. That's Dr. T-E-A-L apostrophe S. The best. Trust me on that.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Tushy. So it's time to give up wiping with toilet paper. We have stuck with toilet paper because it's familiar, but all it does is smear poo and bacteria around, leaving you feel unclean and uncomfortable. Washing your Tushy with a Tushy bidet, you will get a targeted stream of fresh water to get you two times cleaner than wiping ever could.

So it's really time to retire that outdated routine and upgrade to a fresh, confident, clean. Setup is easy and the results are an absolute game changer. Once you've experienced a tushy bidet, your butt will never settle for less. If you've ever had a bidet experience, you know how elevated it is, but it's not super sustainable to like build a whole bidet in your house. And I think the tushy bidet is brilliant. It really works on any toilet. It...

It can turn your existing toilet into a modern bidet without any need for electricity or a plumber. That means no more wiping and hoping for the best. Instead, you're getting two times cleaner with Tushy's targeted precision stream. I also love the name of the company. Like, this is a company I feel like I started. Tushy? Obsessed. The smart spray nozzle provides a targeted clean that removes 99% of those nasty poo particles, keeping your behind and hands bacteria-free.

It's not just about cleanliness. It's a game changer for your health too. Regular use can help prevent chronic issues like hemorrhoids, UTIs, irritation. If you suffer from IBS, Crohn's, or any discomfort down there, you'll really want to check this out.

So every Tushy bidet comes with a 30-day hassle-free return and 12-month warranty. It's a one-time purchase that can change your whole life. Feel shower fresh when you need it most and join the 2 million butts who already switched to Tushy. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use code TOAST at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet at H-E-L-L-O-T-U-S-H-Y.com, promo code T-O-A-S-T. We have added a Tushy bidet to our master bathroom. Let me just say, like,

All's going well at our house, okay? Don't come looking for my tissue because my tissue's clean. Can you say the same? Oh, yes. Thank you. That wasn't a rhetorical question. Thank you, Turty. You're welcome. First story. Sabrina Carpenter announces a Netflix holiday special. Where's your iPad?

die and I'm using the charger for my computer so I just saw it preemptively I'll switch it to my phone wow she looks like such a zillennial like it's Friday rules go out the window so true so Sabrina has a Netflix holiday special which seems to be the thing to do when you're on your way up and you've got pizzazz it's so and you've got personality it's hard to host it's

On Thursday, Netflix announced that Sabrina is set to star in her very own holiday special called A Nonsense Christmas with Sabrina Carpenter. The post said, this is really going to jingle your bells. So this is her first ever holiday special and it will premiere on December 6th. She does have a 2023 EP, a holiday EP called Fruitcake that I am sure she will be including some things from. But this to me makes sense.

- Makes sense, I love, obviously, in recent history, Kacey Musgraves' Prime video special was so gorgeous and so well done. And she's the same, really reminds me a lot of Sabrina in the sense that she's so vocally talented, she's such a talented songwriter, and she's friends with a lot of celebrities, and a lot of other singers wanna work with her. You can't do a collab with everyone, so I actually feel like this is a really good way to get some collabs in. I also just love holiday specials, I love the vibes. Sabrina couldn't do anything wrong right now, I just love her.

It's very Kelly. Do you think Kelly will make an appearance? No. I don't know. She's holding it down somewhere else, you know? You know, I feel like a lot of the pop girlies want to become the...

Like, not the next, but another Mariah Carey. Because there are a lot of pop girls who I think make a lot of money in the holiday season. They've weirdly become core tenants of holiday time. I think Kelly's one of them. I think Jennifer Hudson's one of them. Mariah, obviously. I think Ariana Grande is like a really up and coming one. I don't think Kasey became that from her special, but I don't know if she necessarily wanted to. Maybe Sabrina could. Yeah.

Maybe Sabrina could. I think it's just a fun thing to do, especially so many people like the holidays are their personality. So I imagine the girlies who do this, like just have that love for the holidays. Like so many of us do. And yeah,

I'm all for it. Like the more the merrier, literally. And what we have said about Sabrina was that she has like such a unique aesthetic and a very specific point of view when it comes to her brand in terms of like her sets, her clothing. It's all really cohesive. And I'm actually really looking forward to like a holiday spin on that. Like what the sets with the Kacey Musgraves. It actually, even though she's not that similar to Kacey Musgraves, like in this arena, they actually are in terms of having like established aesthetics, something a little more retro and feminine. And yeah,

like cheery, you know, because we need the holiday cheer muster. We don't need the holiday for this and I put them. No, I feel like we don't need. Casey's was so Casey, right? It had her brand of like her vibe. And I'm looking forward to seeing what Sabrina puts out. Yeah, I think it's going to be adorable. This was also an unexpected announcement. I don't know what I thought she was going to do or announce next. And it certainly wasn't this, but I love it. I also think this is a great way to get like, you know,

Into the homes of more people. People love holiday specials. Those classic tunes. Like I think an older generation loves to see a young girl singing. So I think it will also expand her audience even more. Yeah. Yeah. I love. Perfect. Perfect. Next story, a bit more content news. Queen Latifah biopic in the works.

So Queen Latifah is preparing to bring her life story to the big screen with a new biopic that kicks off a series of movies about hip hop icons. Queen Latifah, Grammy and Emmy winner and an Oscar nominee. Ooh, EGOT on the way will produce the forthcoming movie with Westbrook Studios and Jesse Collins Entertainment. Ooh,

They said, "We all came into this industry together "and hip hop has shaped each and every one of us. "Hip hop's impact has expanded beyond just music "and has created a lasting impression "on culture and society overall. "It is a dream to be able to collaborate "with friends and colleagues "that have not only shared an understanding, "but are able to tell these stories "that were the backdrop of our lives." - No, I love this. Queen Latifah is not someone we talk about a lot, right?

But every time we do, like, it's just a reminder. She's literally one of my faves. Yeah. She doesn't, you know, do the most. I don't even follow her on social media. But everything she does, I love. I love her. I feel like I would really get along with her. And I do feel like a huge, like, her come up, I don't know much about. Like, when I started, like, you know, consuming media that she was in, I think that was, like,

decades into her career already so I actually don't know her story her story I know she like was big in the hip-hop movement I know nothing about it like so I actually think this could be beneficial for swirlies like me yeah I think it's a great idea now who are we casting as a young queen

I do think it needs to be like a... When you're doing a biopic, I think it's always better to have a new face so it's not confusing. Like, why is Kelly Rowland pretending to be Queen Latifah? I think it's easier to have a fresh face. Oh, so it's not going to be someone established, but also someone who can sing. But it also needs to be somebody who...

I guess what time period they're focusing on. Right. I feel like getting someone in their like early 20s is a good place because you can play younger and then you can go probably to like 40. Yeah. Right. You can always look older. And then Queen Latifah can take over from there. Of course. Of course. I would love that by the way. I would love that. You can. It's easier to make someone look older in a film with prosthetics than it is to look younger. So I.

I don't know. I do think it'll be like an unknown. And I think Queen Latifah will probably use it as an opportunity to like discover, make a new movie star. But I love this. And so you said it's a part of a series where they're doing a bunch of biopics? A series of movies about hip hop icons. Yeah. So this is like the first in like a new project of movies. Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. I love this. And yeah, a fun fact about Queen Latifah is like she's also a singer.

We know her as an actress. Like I think, but before we were alive, like her career was more music. Yeah. But then of course, like last holiday, how can you ever, she sang her head off in hairspray and she reminded us all about who she really is. Oh, that's so funny. My like number one association with her is that movie, the last holiday, by the way, incredible movie. My number one association is actually not hairspray. I know everybody would think it is. It's just right. The best movie.

movie ever that is thankfully always on TV. It's like kind of one of those movies that like just went straight to... You mean it's one of E's movies we love? Movies we love. It's like always movie of the week. It's always on HBO. Like it is always on. It is the best movie starring like two of my faves, Queen Latifah and Common. And Queen Latifah is just this like sort of, you know, tomboy physical therapist, like a

Of course, like she'll never get the guy. And Paula Patton, her sister, is like this bombshell who's always going to get the guy. And they meet this pro basketball player who they love, Common. And Queen Latifah actually has to become his physical therapist and Common starts dating the sister. Obviously, because she's the bombshell. Very 27 dresses. But then it's like,

They're falling in love. Obviously Queen Latifah's the one. And it's literally, like I'm chills. It's the best fucking movie. I said it. You know who else loves that movie? Who? Olivia Alshrey. It's like something we're always talking about. I feel like it's also like wasn't popular. Do people even know that movie? I think they do. I do think it was popular. And I also like...

That for me was a real introduction to Common and then you know him dating Tiffany Haddish I was obsessed with but like I wasn't familiar with Common's work prior to that so obsessed. Honestly if we ever bring back Toast Movie of the Week first up just right and by the way if you're looking for it online right is spelled W-R-I-G-H-T because that's the basketball player's last name. However don't get your hopes up and don't delay your watching of this if you sound interested in it because Toast Movie of the Week has no plans to return.

Like we didn't even watch Tell Me Lies this week. Let me, I know we need to watch it. Let me just really quickly look up something. Cause you know, I need to know what Rotten Tomatoes gave Just Right. Just like, cause I have completely written off. Rotten Tomatoes. Rotten Tomatoes. Especially after they gave Georgia Rule such a low score. I was fucking done with them. And then they gave like a 98% to the movie The Lobster, which ruined my life. Let's just see. Cause to me, Just Right is a perfect film. Okay. Tomato meter. Okay.

47%. That's the critics. Such lies. Yeah. What about the people? Well, the people. No, but what do the people say? 61%. That's the number to really look at for anything. Of course. But like this. I'm just going to say like 61% is low for your fave. That doesn't look good. People go to Rotten Tomatoes for the critics review. Like I find that more interesting. Like this is who Rotten Tomatoes best of the best thinks like this.

of this movie? I don't think that many people at this point, like go to rotten tomatoes for the tomato meter. I actually think that the audience meter holds a lot more sway. That's always the funniest when it's like, it has 99% tomato meter, like 1% audience. I've actually never looked at other parts of this website besides just the number. Here are the top critic reviews for just right. Oh, I feel sick from Charlotte O'Sullivan. Just about bearable.

Oh my God. And then from Lisa Rossman, although it's replete with solid supporting players and even stronger goodwill, just right buckles under the burden of its pure intentions. Too many auxiliary moralizing plot points and characters are picked up only to suddenly be dropped. She's disgusting. To be honest, I would have to rewatch it in order to say like whether or not the auxiliary characters are being picked up just to be dropped. Like,

I don't feel comfortable right now saying that she's wrong for that. I don't remember it that way, but I would need to watch it with a closer eye. What do they say about Sleepover? Good question, because that is also a perfect film. All right, I'm on my way. I'm sure by this point they say nice things about Lele Blonde and Clueless. But at the time. Because those have really cemented themselves in the canon of feminist history, and I don't think that the critics would shirk at that. Sleepover...

Which one do you want to know first? The people or the critics? The critics. I know the people are my people. 15%. And the pop 54. Okay. Okay, here's what the top critics are saying. David Germain. This movie wasn't made for David Germain, nevertheless. Sleepover objectifies early teenage girls in a manner that's disagreeable and indelicate at best. Cheap and vulgar at worst. Oh my God.

The second most top critic review, not for younger kids, despite its PG rating. Website's disgusting. This website's disgusting. And it's like they would watch a movie that actually does exploit children and be like, this is incredible stuff. Okay, The Whale that we just watched. 64% tomato meter. Critics. Critics. And what about people? 91%. Jeez. Are you sure the tomatoes are the people? No.

Yes. You're sure? It's like the popcorn is the people and the tomatoes are the critics? Exactly. Okay, okay.

Like this, like this, I don't know where as a society, like how we got to the place where Rotten Tomatoes like was the end all be all of movie critics and reviews. But like seriously, fuck them. I don't think it's the end all be all. I just think it's like the only one really doing it. So if you care about those things, like that's where you'll go. But I don't like make my decisions about what to watch at all based on Rotten Tomatoes. I make it based on gender. I make it based on gender and whether or not it passes the Bechdel test.

Of course. Here's a piece of content that passes the Bechdel test. The toast? The toast, of course, even though we're only ever talking about boys. So true. We're boy crazy. We've got a crush. A crush. When I was listening to Crush, I thought it was like a sample where she was remixing the song. It's just.

Little crash. That would have been better. No, it reminded me so much of an old song that I was like, oh, maybe it's an old Katy Perry song. She's just kind of stealing her own stuff. Good idea, by the way. And then I actually paused it to finish singing the lyric I thought it was going to be. And I was like, it's Kelly Clarkson. Get Kelly's lawyers on the phone. I mean, can you blame Katy? She's like desperately searching for success. I would copy Kelly Clarkson too. Me too. Like...

It is what it is. But our next piece of content is a new documentary about the pressures of growing up famous. It's called Child Star by Demi Lovato. And she is talking to former Disney and child stars across the board about their experience. So Demi Lovato, Alison Stoner, Raven Simone, and Jojo Siwa are reflecting on the humanizing... They're reflecting on humanizing the pressures of growing up famous in her new doc. Yeah, I saw...

this documentary. And I think that, you know, with, what was it called? The Drake Bell one? Drake Bell one. The Drake Bell documentary, the Nickelodeon documentary. Yeah. Quiet on set. Quiet on set. That was really well done. And I think that

because it had heavy hitters like Drake Bell involved, it made much more of an impact. These documentaries, the Glee one got made. Nobody from the cast or the real crew was a part of it. And so if it's not, it just sort of goes by the wayside. People really discredit it. So to have Demi involved, who's obviously like one of the biggest child stars of our time, and then, you know, including Raven, I think it's actually great. And I like this for Demi. I feel like she's had a hard time

finding her her vibe career wise music wise and I think that this is actually a good thing yeah I think here they're not suffering from lack of notable names I actually there's not one name that I don't know I think it'll be more so about what what they're saying and how much it resonates with people because she's talking to Drew Barrymore, Kenan Thompson, Christina Ricci, Raven Simone, Alison Stoner, Jojo Siwa um there was a screening of it at Noya House Hollywood and

Demi spoke to Variety saying, I need to talk to them so candidly about our experiences was so meaningful to me. So this is also like a Demi Lovato documentary, which would be the fourth. Yeah. However. Okay. Personally, I can't function because I see a bug on the ceiling. Like what kind of bug? I don't know.

- There should be an app like Shazam where you take a picture of your bug. - There is, I did it over the summer 'cause I thought I saw a tick. And I'm just supposed to be sitting here with the bug, you know?

become very desensitized to the critters and the natural elements. I'm just keeping my eye on it. Sorry, back to Demi. Yes, I agree. It's like a lot of documentaries for one person. Although I think this one is finally talking about a subject larger than her. This one has a very direct purpose too. Like, you know, she'll hone in on one subject. It's not just like Demi at a glance. Wait, the bug fell off the ceiling. It should be right next to you. No, on the floor, on the floor, on the floor, on the floor. Do you see it? Yeah. I'm telling you, this bug is like...

It's a terrorist, a Hamas bug. Oh my God, Sebastian Matos got quite the funniest thing about Hamas. I was cracking up because these moles, M-O-L-E, in his garden are building like, they're burrowing and creating tunnels in his backyard. And the guy came over to explain the exterminator, like, they're a really complex tunnel system, like, in your backyard. He's like, you mean like Hamas? It was so funny. That is so funny. I'm so sorry, back to Demi. Back to Demi. Well, one of the moments that I saw going viral from this episode

is that Raven and Demi sat down and Raven was like, you know, I did a guest spot on Sunday with a Chance, your TV show, and you were literally a bitch. Like, you were very difficult to work with. And I actually feel like that really aligns with what Demi has told us about that time. She was like addicted to Adderall. It was like the very beginning stages of her drug addiction, her eating disorder, and she was like a miserable, miserable girl. And she has stated that. So I don't know if it necessarily reflects poorly on Demi. I feel like it's actually...

you know, corroborates what she's told us up until this point. Right. And Raven had said, like, I don't hold it against you. I think in a situation like that, and also something with a chance was her first thing. Like, you've got a lot to prove. Like, you're not just like your queen sitting on the throne. Like I run this place. Like you're also a child holding up an entire show, not knowing how it's going to go. And also like Sonny with a chance, like it started Demi's career, but like, I don't think it was like the biggest, greatest thing ever.

It was definitely the worst show on Disney Channel. And when, at the time, like you have to think about the other female-led shows that she was working against, Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, these shows.

huge, huge shows that like launched huge careers. It's actually amazing that Demi is as famous as she is because she's just as famous as Miley and Selena, but that show was like a piece of shit. But it's only because of her talent. Like I think even when the show ended, it was like, we need to do something with this girl. She has the best singing voice of any child we've ever heard ever. Like let's send her to camp and have her rock out. That's the thing. Camp rock was her Hannah Montana. Yeah. Because I think Sunny with a Chance is really forgettable. Yeah. Yeah. It was a step.

On the way. Yeah. So. I didn't know Raven Simone did an episode. That's literally hilarious. Right.

Right. It looks to be like it's going to be a good documentary. And I feel like people are wanting more of that content, especially since Quiet on Set. And especially because we're always talking about Disney. And there's never been a documentary. And there really aren't people who have come out and said Disney was horrible for children. A lot of it fell on Nickelodeon. We knew for years about the weirdness about Dan Schneider. But Disney has sort of kept its reputation intact. If anything, it was just like they worked the kids too hard. I thought you got it. You bitch! I never saw a book like this!

I got it. That was a weird... I saw something in the corner of my eye. I feel like this bug is going to come back to life. I thought you got it. I got it. He's dead right there. You do need to give us a... Is it a roach or is it... No, it's... Oh my God. If it was a roach, bitch, I would be out of here. You're acting like it's a roach. Well, I was... It kind of looked like a caterpillar.

It's kind of cute. It looked like it seriously belonged to the tropics. I don't know how he got here. I feel like somebody went on vacation and like accidentally packed this bug in its suitcase. Like, I don't know. It doesn't look natural. Maybe I sent you a box. This bug is not indigenous to my culture. He's away from home. Well, he's dead now. He's with the ones he loves. He's with his ancestors. The way I'm overjoyed we got that on camera. I can only imagine what I looked like with my legs. Do you think the bug is in frame at any point?

No. Darn. I'm sorry. I did want to see what all the fuss was about. That bug had at least 20 legs. Just letting you know. It was like, okay, so it looked like a caterpillar, like a sort of straight body and then legs, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs. Oh my God. Legs, legs, legs, legs, legs. Oh man, I'm actually sweating. That was insane. Okay. Take a moment. Thank God I'm wearing my big Claude Hopper shoes, like my big platform sneakers. Which ones?

These Reebok ones. Pick up your leg. Cool. Look at you, turdy. Oh, you have your like little like, you know, mashed potatoes outfit going on. The one, the rave girl. My mashed potatoes outfit. Like I knew what you meant. You didn't have to clap. Oh, I thought for a second you thought I was calling you like a mashed potato, which like. Which is not anything you want to be described as. No, no. But what's that dance called? The mashed potato. But what's it called in the rave world, even though they are doing mashed potato? What is it called where like you're like cha-cha sliding your legs? Like.

What is that dance move called? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, it's like not a moonwalk, but it's sort of like, it's the dance that girls do at raves. Two-stepping kind of. No, no. What the hell is it called? I need to look it up. Me too. It's really going to bother me. Rave girl dance move. Okay. Yeah, that's what it is. Oh, you're like, you're shuffling. The shuffle. The shuffle. Yeah, this is my outfit, like my big pants and my tight shirt that I would wear to shuffle rave.

Are you ready for our next story, our fourth story? Am I? What do you think? I think you're not ready. I don't think I'm ready either because actually I want to play a game with you. You know, I know how much you love like when I bring up games and this game is brought to you by Cotton. Is that okay with you to play a game? Okay. Okay. Love a game. So I love this new concept. So today's episode of The Toast is brought to you by Cotton, the fabric of our lives. And as you guys know, we're huge advocates for just take me a pause for your physical, your mental health, your

you know, just unwinding, if you will. And Cotton, the fabric of our lives, is all about that. So they really are encouraging us, our listeners, to take a pause and whatever that pause looks like. For some people, it's listening to this podcast. You know, for others, it's going outside for a walk. So in celebration of that, you know, since we are the experts at taking pauses and making space for ourselves to be more mindful, Cotton wanted us to sort of spearhead this campaign. So I thought it would be fun to slow down for a

Let's play a game. Okay. It's giving a would you rather. And we are going to, at the end of this, figure out the best way to take a pause, to unwind. There are many different ways. So Jackie, would you rather read the latest Redheads book on your Kindle or go for a walk? And with the goal of unwinding, taking a pause, best for your physical and mental health.

Read the latest Redheads book on my Kindle, especially with the heat being what it is right now. It wouldn't be that relaxing to come home like in a deep sweat. Would you rather read the latest Redheads book on your Kindle or watch an episode of reality TV? Yeah, that's tough. I think I'm in a TV era right now. I'd rather watch an episode. Would you rather watch an episode of reality TV or make a loaf of sourdough? Make a loaf of sourdough every time. Would you rather make a loaf of sourdough or go for a nice peaceful drive? Now that I'm like in my driving era, I think sourdough still.

Would you rather make a loaf of sourdough or learn to knit, take up knitting? Sourdough. Sourdough. Would you rather make a loaf of sourdough or do a workout class? Sourdough. Would you rather make a loaf of sourdough or journal for a little bit? Sourdough. Even though let's call journal my new recipe book. That's really me putting my thoughts down. But still sourdough because my hand hurts when I'm writing because I hold my pen wrong. Would you rather watch an episode or make a loaf of sourdough or listen to music?

Could I do it together? I know. That is how you do it normally. Actually, I like that. Let's combine. Okay. So right now, the running winner currently is making a loaf of sourdough while listening to music. Yes. Would you rather do that? A little bit of meditation. The former. Now, this is the last one and I think probably the toughest one. Okay. What do you think is the best way to take a pause? Making a loaf of sourdough while listening to the music of your choice or taking a nap? I mean...

It's factually a literal pause, a nap. I am some, I'm big on sleep. I think sleep is critical for so many things. Rest, rejuvenation, mindfulness, energy. So yeah, I think if I really want to take a pause, like still doing sourdough on my feet, like I'm still working. It's a lot of work. It's going to be a siesta for me.

However you choose to unwind, cotton has got your back. Take a second to be more mindful with cotton, the natural choice. Discover the fabric of now at thefabricofourlives.com. Thank you to cotton for sponsoring the rest of today's episode. Thank you to cotton. All right, story number four. I wasn't ready, but now I am. Story number four is some more content news because Amazon Prime tried something new. I don't know if you've seen this. And the reviews are mixed.

But I think it's an A for effort. So Nikki Glaser is leaving NFL fans divided over her post-game roast segment on Amazon Prime following the Jets win over the Patriots. So Nikki Glaser, following her roast success, the roast of Tom Brady, I think Amazon Prime was like, Nikki loves roasts. We want to get involved. Nikki's good at sports. Nikki's good at sports roasts. Like, let's have her roast the games.

So Amazon Prime debuted their new segment with Nikki Glaser after Thursday Night Football, and it divided opinion among NFL fans following the Jets win over the Patriots. I didn't realize the Jets won. Mazel Tov. Yeah, it was kind of a big deal. I guess it's less of a big deal now that Tom Brady's not on the Patriots. It's not what it once was. No, the big deal is that the Jets won a game. Right. So Prime Video's post-game show invited comedians. Oh my God, Shohei.

Shohei, we'll get to him in a second. Okay. Invited comedian Nikki Glaser, who had a notable set at the Rose of Tom Brady, to debut her late hit segment where she roasted the two teams and the Amazon crew. She started things off by telling Carissa Thompson that she looked like the final boss at a country club before poking fun at the likes of Aaron Rodgers and Jets linebacker CJ Mosley. She called Aaron Rodgers throw Rogan.

LOL. Which is funny, but I think a lot of fans were saying like the situation that they put her in, she's pretty much like doing this roast. Jets fans are booing in the background because that's just what they do. The hosts of the NFL show are just next to her like doing nothing. Like nobody's there like live laughing and she's like telling these jokes for the people at home. I think it was like an awkward scenario though. I think she did, the jokes were really funny.

Yeah, like I think the production needs work, but I like the concept. And I think it's like the first time that a major network, if you will, is like leaning into more girls who are now watching football, right? Like Nikki Glaser is this huge Taylor Swift fan. I actually think it was a great choice, not only because she's great at roasts, but because like I think a lot of her fans are a lot of Taylor fans. And like it's a good crossover. And this is the first time where someone's like,

finally acknowledging the girlies in the room and making some content for them. So while I agree it's imperfect right now, the idea itself is not bad. - No, and also the idea that she's like writing jokes about a game that happened five minutes ago. And so like these are really like last minute stuff. I think it is really impressive. I love the idea of trying something new. Like everything is just like recycled, regurgitated. Like if it's not a reboot, then it's just never changing. And I think this is a really good idea and they just have to perfect it. But it seems like she showed up to work, like she did the job.

Yeah, like why does she have to be sitting at the table with them in the stadium? They should throw to her. They build like a mini stage outside the stadium with like 15 chairs where there's like an actual audience. She does like a mini set, like she's in a little comedy club. Yeah. That I think would be better. Yeah, I'm sure they'll workshop it. But I didn't know that this was happening, that she had gotten this job and that Amazon was doing this segment. And I just, I want to encourage it because I think it's a really good idea.

Me too. And I don't think they should stop just because like there's a couple of, you know, negative reviews. Evolve, change. Don't try to like keep doing the same thing. But the idea of it being Nikki is such a great idea. She's like so having a moment. Roasts are her strong suit. I love this. Yeah.

Yeah. Some people said what Nikki Glaser just did is so damn hard telling jokes with no audience while Jets fans scream in the background and she still absolutely killed. That was hilarious. Someone else said, damn, the prime hosts are giving Nikki Glaser nothing. She deserves so much better. This is hard to watch. These jokes are pretty good, but it's so hard to laugh past my, um,

secondhand embarrassment of her getting zero hosts from the coast right next to her. That's not cool. I have no, I didn't see her do it. I imagine that she was hysterical and she's really a professional. Like she probably wrote amazing jokes, delivered them perfectly. But when there's no laugh track, it just kind of falls flat. And that's not her fault. No, no. So like get this girl, like this is Amazon, please build a little set for her. Like make a mini comedy club and they can make it like a whole thing. They can have new people come every week. Like that's cute. Yeah.

Make it a thing. It's a good idea. It is a good idea. Back to Shohei. As we discussed yesterday, and maybe because we discussed yesterday, we put the vibes out there. I think we manifested the first ever baseball player to join the 50-50 club. Now he's now 51-51. Like he went above and beyond last night. And like there's no club because it's just one man. So he's a club of one. It's kind of like a wolf pack of one. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm so glad that I talked about Shohei on the podcast yesterday because I learned so much about him. First of all, he like came out in February. He's like very...

private with his life, but he was like, oh yeah, I'm married. He's married to a professional basketball player. Like they're so cute. They have a dog who recently threw out the first pitch at the Dodgers game. Like he's obsessed with his dog and he's from Japan. Apparently he is so famous in Japan. Like he is on every, they're like so proud of him. He is on every billboard. Every brand wants to work with him. Like we think he's famous here. He's triple as famous in America. Now, I mean, excuse me, in Japan. Now not to make it about us, he has a deep connection to the Real Housewives of Orange County. Are you familiar with this? Yes.

Someone stole money from him. He was involved in like this gambling scandal that, remember Dr. Jen? Her like man Ryan was a part of it too. And like this bookie. He is deeply embedded in American pop culture. Like we have absolutely no choice but to stand. Go Dodgers. And now being a 50-50 member. Does that make him the greatest baseball player of all time? Like will they soon be eating Shohei candy bars? Right, right. I feel like...

I do think he's kind of young. You have to see like what he does in his career in its entirety, but he definitely has, he's on the track of being like, yeah, a Babe Ruth type. No, but like, wouldn't he have already eclipsed Babe Ruth? He has statistically. A lot of players have eclipsed Babe Ruth because the sport has evolved. You know, that's how like, you know, most of the world records. Right. Most of the world records in sports are held in the last five years because human beings are evolving. Yeah. Like at the time when Babe Ruth did what he did. Exactly. So, um,

He's on his way for sure. But like everyone was talking about Shohei last night. Like LeBron James being like the greatest of the greats respect Shohei. And I'm kind of obsessed with him. He's so cute. I love that. I know. And I love that he's like the pride of Japan. Mazel. Mazel Shohei. Mazel Sho. Mazel Sho. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? A little more sports related news actually. Because there is. I love sports. It's like Sports Illustrated.

Oh my God.

of everyone from Kim Kardashian, Martha Stewart, Kate Upton, Brittany Mahomes, Gayle King, Simone Biles, Emily Ratajkowski, Ali Raisman, everyone who's done sports illustrated. They are photos that were never meant for publication that are either meant to show what the outfit the person is supposed to be wearing or photos where there's like, you know, a... Accidental nip slip. Exactly. Why weren't these photos destroyed is my question. I don't know, but I feel like...

I feel like people archive like everything from everything. So they appear to have an AWOL as control of the magazine passed from one corporation to another. So like they were just like lost in a corporate shuffle. Also missing are thousands of dollars worth of swimsuits that were loaned to the magazine by brands for the famous shoots. Yeah. Like, oh my God, that's really like, that gives me a pit. Yeah.

But, you know, if I was like a thief looking for nude photos, like I wouldn't know that this exists, right? But the page six says... It feels like an inside job. Page six says that these are taken on almost all fashion magazine shoots. They're called sitting sheets. They're important mostly for recording exactly what the model is wearing so that editors can include that information in the magazine later. Like it's a very standard thing to do. And I guess if you're... Yeah, no, it doesn't sound nefarious. Modeling, like you know that that's out there. Yeah. I don't... I couldn't say what the...

what the intentions are behind this. It just, like, is really icky. Oh, it's icky McGicky. Although, like, I imagine the person who took it, this does seem like it has to be an inside job. I wouldn't know that this, like, you know, cabinet exists, right? And the person who stole it, presumably, has to have known that, which makes me think, like, maybe they just want, like...

not to like release these photos. I don't know. Just give them what they want. This is like such a breach of. They don't even know who has it though. No one's asking for something. Do better. Like why is there not like a password or something? Yeah.

Do better. Like, seriously, not okay. You're supposed to be, like, a women for magazine. Or it's just, like, lost in the corporate shuffle. Like, it's a box of stuff. Like, that's just unacceptable. Like, you have a duty to protect the girls who post for your magazine. I'm sorry. Yeah, not cool. I feel like Sports Illustrated, and even in this article, I didn't even realize it was, like, sold three times. And that's why it's, like, lost because they keep moving everything. Kind of, like, not...

doing great right now. I feel like this year we had said the Sports Illustrated covers this year like not strong. I personally did not like them. I agree. It's just like not their time. I mean once again I think it's a problem that Sandra could solve. Like make her the new it girl. Like they need to choose a girl. They don't choose girls anymore. They need to choose a girl. There was a time where they would choose a girl and make that girl's career and then that whole year it was like the girl was everywhere. It's kind of like Miss America. You get a year where you're just doing pageants and shit.

And now it's like everybody's a winner and it's like lame. And they need to choose a girl. And I think that if they chose Zandra, like that's a bold move. Do something bold. I agree. Instead of losing everybody's nudies. In total, there was about 30 women on the cover last year. Not interesting to me. This isn't Sparkle Magazine.

It's giving Sparkle Magazine. Yeah. Now, it's time for Queenie and Weenie of the Week, my favorite segment, the last thing we do here every week at The Toast, where Jackie and I nominate two individuals, well, in this case today, People's Places or Things, and we're going to be talking about

for weenie of the week and queenie of the week, inspired by our childhood game of weenie of the week. It's pretty self-explanatory. Somebody who acted like a weenie this week will get nominated for weenie of the week, and somebody who acted like a queenie this week will get nominated for queenie of the week. It is a temporary title. It is not meant to be so serious because I was going to obviously make P. Diddy my weenie of the week, but he's not a weenie. He's a criminal and a freak. No, of course. It's really, it is hard. You know, of course I want to, you know, make,

A bunch of people, my weenies. But it's supposed to be light fare. It is supposed to be light fare. Did you see he's on suicide watch? Yeah. Also, I saw like this old thing resurfaced of some guy. I mean, he's a nut, the guy who said it, but he was arrested for like shooting up a golf course. And in his police interrogation, he said he was like, did he sex slave?

And it's like from 2018 though, but I guess, you know, that's not really a credible person then, but now everything starts to fall into place. By the way, I was also looking, apparently the way we feel about like 50 Cent, right? King, who's been talking about this like before it was popular. Apparently Aubrey O'Day, because she was a part of his band, Danity Kane. And I think he thought like, you know,

He ended up giving her like the rights back to their music or whatever because I think he wanted her to shut up. And like she could not be bought. Like she's a queen too. Interesting. There's a lot of lore. And I think when the documentary eventually comes out like and they talk about Aubrey, there's a lot going on here. I think it could be like a four part series. Wow.

Okay, so she's a queen or a weenie first? I do need a documentary, personally. Me too. Also, it's really weird because he has a lot of famous exes. I think a lot of people are waiting to see what J-Lo says, right? And in a situation like this, it's like, was J-Lo covering him or perhaps she was one of his victims? Former girlfriends of his, like Cassie, suffered the most at his hands. So I think people rushing to hear something from J-Lo might just sit tight.

Right. And he was with, let me just triple check before I say something wrong. Look at us triple checking. Yeah. Kim Porter. That was like his partner for a long time. She died. We talked about that when he was initially arrested. You shared. That's suspicious. Like a young, healthy, beautiful woman. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Queenie and mean of the week. Which would you like to do first? Let's go Queenie. We always start Queenie. My Queenie of the week is Shohei. Okay.

Agreed. Yay, Shohei. 50-50 club. Yay, Shohei. Congrats. It's going to be lonely at the top. You know, I don't think... And he's kind of doing for baseball what Taylor Swift did for football. I feel like baseball is definitely one of the more underrated sports. I think he's doing for baseball... Not what Taylor Swift did for football, but like...

What Pommel Horse Steve did for men's gymnastics. Yes, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. What Caitlin Clark's doing for women's basketball. Exactly. Even though like baseball is obviously huge. He has a $700 million contract. In terms of like mainstream like interests. No, Claudia, it's the American game. It is as big as it gets, really. However, he's made it a little bit bigger because we've now talked about baseball twice in one week on this podcast and we don't usually. So just that alone is bigger.

And he's so global too. So he's making it like a global conversation as well. Take me out to the ball game. Take me out to the crowd. My queenie of the week. Are you going to buy me some peanuts and Apple Jacks? No. My queenie of the week for the first time ever is not a human being. Right, right, right. It's a robot. It's a thing. AI? It's my pillow.

When I tell you this pillow, if you guys knew how much pain I was in like during the toast, which sucks because like I would, I feel like. Wait, is it like my pillow, capital M, capital P? No, the pillow, my hemorrhoid pillow. I feel like there was a time where like I was in so much pain that when we get to like the fifth story, I was like always like kind of like wrapping up quicker. I feel like it was affecting my job, honestly. And I feel like I've been so, this pillow has made such a big difference. Look how I'm sitting, like I'm so comfortable. It

It's made such a difference in my performance here and how I feel overall. And it's made life with coccidinia, being dead fucking serious, bearable. Like if I have to live with this disease, like I will be okay. I got a second one for my car. Living life with coccidinia greater than living life with Derek. That's for sure. Because Derek was like an incestual freak. To me, like the girl from life with Derek was Kacey Musgraves. Do you know what I mean? I've got to go look now.

I haven't seen a photo of her in a while, but when I look back and think with like her straight brown hair that was super long, she was Kacey Musgraves of her time. I don't even know what Life with Derek is, if I'm being honest. I need a documentary. Oh yeah, you're right. You're right. Right? You're right. I need a documentary on Life with Derek. Stat. Genuinely, what is Life with Derek? Genuinely. Like where was it? Was it a show? Where did it play? Yeah, it was a Disney Channel show. Disney Channel? And they were like,

They were a blended family. So they were like siblings who were in the same grade, but they were step siblings because their parents got married and they totally were like fucking. So then she lived life with Derek when they were blended. Yeah, and it was like, oh my crazy Derek walking in on me naked. Like it was really weird. But it was blended. It had incestual undertones for sure. Interesting. Like I think if the show had continued on, like Derek and whatever the bitch's name was, like they would have gotten married. Cher and Josh. Cher and Josh. Okay. Okay.

Who's your weenie of the week? I'm having a tough time anointing a weenie. Someone not too big, not too small. All you need is a light jacket. It's a big responsibility. It is, and I don't feel like there was like a clear weenie of my week. Who's your weenie? There wasn't a clear weenie of my week besides P. Diddy until this morning. It's Katy Perry. I know. She was the weenie last week. I'm sort of seeing everything. I know, but I'm seeing everything that she...

has done up until this point. I'm seeing it much more clearly now thanks to this Variety article that really mapped out like her...

her work and her partnership, like historically with Dr. Luke. And now I really understand why she just threw caution to the wind and worked with Dr. Luke. And it was for such a losery weenie like reason. And it didn't even work to me. That is the definition of being a weenie. I agree with you. I was thinking Katie, but like she was it last week. Why was she at last week? What'd she do last week? I forgot. Because of the VMAs and, and Orlando doing the dishes. Yeah.

Oh yeah, that was really weenie. Well, I'm sorry if she's going to keep acting like a weenie, she's going to keep winning. Yeah, and like today was the album day and like it didn't bring her out of the category. Like today should have been her queenie day where it's like, listen, all the press, it didn't go her way, but like the album is here and like she's a queen, it's amazing. And because that didn't happen, she's the ween. No, it should have been coronation day for Katy Perry, but instead it's like her judgment day. It should have been the window is open, so is that door. I didn't know they did that anyway.

that anymore. Who knew we had a thousand salads? Correct. My Queenies of the week are all the queens who skated at Disney on ice and just like put their whole skate into it.

I love that. And I learned a lot about Disney on Ice this week. I know you did. Because I asked so many questions and I'm glad that I did because it's a real... Jackie, never stop asking why. Because when you grow up figure skating, like of course, you know, Olympic dreams, hockey dreams, people also have dreams of doing ice shows. It's not just Disney on Ice. Like everything's on ice. Cruise ships have ice shows. Like ice shows are a major career. What don't cruise ships have? Working Wi-Fi for Matt and Abby's monitors. I just want to say...

I'm so glad we're circling back to this because after we discussed it, I watched their podcast

you know, the sit down video. - Did you see Abby being like her attitude being done with these people? - No, that's not the feeling that I got, but I just, I know I give people the benefit of the doubt when someone like tells me something, unless I know them to be a liar, I just do believe them. - You believe them. - I wanna say, I believe that there was someone in the room. I do, I really do. 'Cause it's so crazy if there wasn't. I also understand people are like, well, if there was someone in the room, why'd you need the monitor? Why do you wanna look at the monitor? I like to see my kids sleeping.

- Yeah, of course, that's not weird. - I'd like to see, that's not weird at all. I'm going to believe Matt and Abby and I can go back on my Matt and Abby train of passive following, which I've enjoyed. - Okay, that's good, I'm really glad for you, that's beautiful. - Hashtag I believe Abby, I don't know about Matt, but I believe Abby. - I agree.

Okay, well that's our show. It's been a fabulous week here at The Toast. Can't wait to do it again next week. Hope everybody has an amazing weekend. And thank you so much for listening to The Toast, the Monday morning show where we deliver the best life stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast everywhere. Podcasts we've announced on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Vogue, Radio, iHeart, Cast, Podcasts we've announced on Facebook, Podcasts we've announced on Toast, if you find us on Instagram, we've got a real standing in. Wickedly talented we are. Love ya. Bye.