Benedict Ray Cyrus: Tuesday, January 21st, 2025
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Good morning millennials. Welcome back to the shows and happy Tuesday. That has, you know, a different kind of energy because it's the first day of the week, but it's not a Monday and it's 11 degrees and it's just, it's unique. It feels like a Monday, but it's a Tuesday, which is bless up. So fabulous. Send your prayers to the sky. Hopefully this means the week will go by quickly. Not to rush things along. We'll progress in a way that I find unoffensive.

Yeah, but you don't want to rush through things, even though something really exciting is happening next week. But you don't want to rush through things. Turdy's moving. I meant to acknowledge. Thank you for opening up the space for me. This is my final full week in this studio, which has housed us for so many years. And I'm not even remotely sad, but I feel we must acknowledge this monumental moment. Yes, it is our longest running studio that we've had. It is? Yes.

We moved in in 2020. We took refuge after being evicted. On the boots of an eviction. In the midst of coronavirus. Who remembers Turdy and Jax's eviction era? That was probably one of my most fun times.

No, that wasn't a fun time. Before that, when we were in that apartment, like things were busing. And then not only were we evicted, we had to go to Zoom toast like dark times. So this studio was our saving grace. And we had so many amazing memories in that studio. So many wonderful shows, both together and remote. And it deserves to be honored in a respectful way. It's true. We sought refuge here and it was a home to us, but nobody else would have us here.

And while I am really excited because my new studio is so much closer to my house, and I don't know if I mentioned that it's 11 degrees today, I want to put, you're right, some honor and some respect on these four walls. These four walls came down around us. Do you remember that Miley Cyrus song? Yes, of course. Must have been something sent me out.

Oh, speaking of songs, I meant to text you this morning because we haven't, the Toast theme song competition is completely over. Yes, that was on my notes of things to discuss because we have not, you and I, officially selected the winner. So if you haven't been reached out to, no one has yet. I really, I have still two top twos in my head. Okay, I chose my winner. They've been stuck in my head. We will vote, but I'm sending you a picture of the girl, like who's my winner. Okay, I'll know who it is. It's between, it's the same as my top two.

- I think so. - It's not like a third, right? - No, no, no, no. I had three that I was like mulling over that were, like I wouldn't have been happy with any of them. You saw who I texted you? - I see it, yeah. - Like it's her, it's always been her. I'm sorry, it's her.

Yeah. So we will reach out to her privately, you know, get the paperwork sorted out and then we will announce. And then we have to start the process of recording it. I've already booked studio time with the fabulous producer who produced the Grammy award winning song a hundred percent by Claudia Aschere. So we're in really good hands and people seem really excited. I know you haven't seen the fanfare cause it's all on TikTok and we are going to talk about TikTok, but like people are so invested in the winner. Cause I did admit to TikTok last night. I was like,

It's over, I think I know who I want to win, but who do you guys wanna win? And a lot of the same names were circulating, which my top three seemed to be the internet's top three, which made me feel good. - Yeah, but also we have given away that it is a singular person.

And that it's not a man. So in just our conversation, we've given that away. Oh my God. Fucking pronouns. You're right. Yeah. So. Shit. I really wanted to. That tells you a little something. No, people are so invested. My friend Sam stayed with me this weekend. We had such a fun weekend. And her sister called because her sister is a huge toaster and she was with her camp friends and they're all toasters. And they were calling to try and find out like what I was leaning towards. They're like, have you heard this one? And they're all singing it. Jackie, the people coming out.

out of the woodwork. First of all, like random people text me being like, I'm dying from this competition. And to like people I know, like Shannon is so invested being like, I'm getting DMs from like local Nashville songwriters wanting to make sure that you guys see. Guys, I've seen every submission. Don't worry about me. My screen time this weekend for like a million reasons was so fucking high. Like I saw every single submission. Don't you worry.

My screen time this weekend was so high. So many things were happening. And I have to think like this was the biggest weekend in news like ever. I have never turned on like cable news. Really, I rarely ever do. This weekend, like it was constantly playing in the back of my house for one reason or another, like the hostages coming home yesterday, the inauguration waiting all day for Rascal Flatts. TikTok. TikTok.

- TikTok, like I had the news, like the news channels must be really happy people turned on their little shows. - Yeah, media is a buzz and that's what we do here. We are women in media. So much to talk about. - So we're breaking it all down. - Are we making TikTok a story or should we talk about it now? - No, we are not making TikTok a story. - Oh, okay. Like I like how you said that, like as if it was stupid. Like why? - No, because like the stories are like the fun fader, not like world news. And two, we always keep putting into the pre-fast five. - Okay, okay. Well, let me tell you my experience this weekend then.

And I wonder if other people are feeling this way. And I'm a big advocate. I love TikTok. It's my favorite place on the planet. It's literally my personality. This affected me. I was directly in the line of fire. And I'm really getting to the point where these people are making me kind of hate TikTok and not care anymore. It's giving fatigue. It's giving will they, won't they. Because on Saturday night, there was a lot of hoopla. They had said they were going to shut down operations as opposed to just taking it out of the app store. And they did. So it was kind of like this crazy historic thing. I was with a bunch of girls on Saturday night and like,

I opened TikTok and it was 10:30. It wasn't even midnight and they closed down early. - You were making a herstory. - It was really crazy. So it was like, it was just this like exciting, not in a positive or negative way, but just like an exciting thing to be a part of. And it was really crazy to see like how the media landscape was shifting, how people were talking about it, where people were going.

And it coming back less than 24 hours later was seriously like one of the lamest things anybody could have done. Like it was so pick me, so like attention seeking. I was just, when it came back, I wasn't even like relieved and I missed it. Like I was, do you know how many times I opened TikTok in that 14 hour span? Like when it came back, I was like, wait, no, like go back. It was just not...

It wasn't giving, it wasn't gone long enough. And first of all, I saw such like really crazy content from people like crying, sobbing, screaming, crying, throwing up. Like it really kind of put into perspective for me, like we actually as a society could have used a break. And I think we actually could have used more than 14 hours, like give it 24 perhaps, like just so people could perhaps reset and touch grass. So-

Oh, and now that it's back, like people are like, it's different. TikTok's not the same. Like, and I feel like we hyped it up so much because I actually know what people are talking about. Like it's not hitting in the way that it did before because it was going away. So we were all excited. Now it's just this like thing, like it's used. Yeah. Like I, people are like Bethany Frankel's like starting a conspiracy that it's about the drones. She's like, I'm not seeing any more content about the drones. Like a lot of people are thinking like Chinese communist party. Like, I don't think it's that. I just think it's like,

like psychological, like we hyped this thing up so hard. And then it came back and it's just an app like with dumb videos. Like it's just been, it's been really crazy. Like, and I actually, I'm kind of over like the whole conversation. I don't even care anymore. And not me telling everyone like, cause you know, I'm kind of like a social media expert, you know? Like, so when I was with a bunch of my friends on Saturday, they're like, do you think like it's going to come back? Like, what do you think? And I was so adamant. I'm like, there's no way Trump is going to bring it back. Like this was his thing. He hates TikTok. He hates China. Like this is like,

This is like the Trump thing. And I'm like, guys, it's definitely not like being so, like speaking with such conviction, cut to like literally three hours later, it's back up. Like I'm embarrassed. He had said recently that he didn't want it to go away. He said more recently, like yes, four years ago, he said like national security issues. Then more recently he was like,

we wanna find a way to make it work. - Yeah, no, I was just like speaking with like the utmost conviction. I think people like, you know, like the respect when I say when it not comes to everything, obviously, but like TikTok, like yeah, she knows probably. And I was like, guys, it's not coming back. Like say your goodbyes. - Travis has never met Taylor.

It's giving Travis his number, but Taylor. Well, I thought it was coming back imminently. I did not expect it to only be 14 hours. So on that, I wasn't right either. The whole thing was just like really lame for everyone. Really lame and exhausting and seeing the same content, like from every individual over and over again, like of them. The screenshot of TikTok me. The screenshot of TikTok. Oh my God. Adjusting to reels. How y'all doing when it comes back? Like I am moved on. Fatigued for sure. Um,

And like, as for the future of TikTok, like genuinely, I don't care anymore. Like they've officially made me not care, which I guess is good. - Yeah. - And I think let this be a lesson to people who make a living on TikTok, whether that's like through TikTok shop or your content creator, diversify your platforms. We have 90 days now, that's three months. Like really get to work because this is a platform that is like kind of finicky. Like it's here, it's there, it's not there, it's China, it's America. Like you've been given a warning. So now you have three months to hustle.

We could do YouTube, we could bring it on Reels. Come on over to Reels, the water's warm. The more time you spend on Reels, the better it gets for you. I think that's what people are noticing. - And this was my biggest disappointment because I feel like it was such a wasted opportunity for Instagram because we have known for like a real month now that like TikTok has this date. And the fact that Instagram didn't do what they usually do and just copy TikTok's algorithm, their format, everything.

We would have moved over. Like if it was even remotely similar, it wouldn't have been such a big deal for TikTok to go. But like when Instagram came out with Instagram stories, like we were all like, oh, this sucks. And then we all just eventually transitioned over and stopped using Snapchat stories. They do this thing where they copy everyone and we all make fun of them. And then we end up becoming, you know, primary storytellers on Instagram. So I didn't understand why, like, cause we were left with nothing. Reels, I'm sorry. And I know you like love it. It is not a...

sufficient alternative to TikTok. Not only is the algorithm like not as smart, I don't really feel like it targets what I need to see. The interface is not as user friendly. Like it just, why didn't they spend the last month like doing their, you know, usual control C, control V, like copy that shit. I thought that was like a wasted opportunity from the man who's like known for copying other competitive platforms. Why do you think that is? - Well, I just have some thoughts maybe,

- A couple of things. First, I do think the more that you use Reels, the more the content is tailored to you. Like right now I like the things that I see, but I also, I'm not on TikTok, so it's not like I have the two to compare it to. I don't know what an even better algorithm for me is. But I also like that the algorithm on Reels isn't as addicting as you say TikTok is because I will inevitably spend less time on it. And so I think that's good. Why Mark Zuckerberg doesn't want me to spend more time on Reels and doesn't want me to be as addicted, I don't know, but overall I'm happy with the product because of those reasons. - Because of those reasons.

I think that I wouldn't have been surprised. I think what the cool thing about TikTok is, is that like you're seeing content from people you really don't know. And when you scroll your Instagram feed, it's people you follow. Yeah, they sprinkle in like things you might like, and it's never something I would even be remotely interested in. I wish that they had, well, now the opportunity is lost, but if they had created like a second feed where you could swipe and see like, you know, people you don't follow, things you might be interested, just like a feed of not your following, but just-

Well, when you go to your explore page and you, and you click a video here, I get so much like Sabrina. Oh yeah. When you scroll down, you start scrolling. I don't know who any of these people are. Yeah. Like that's their, I'm getting all types of stuff of the FYP. It's just, it doesn't hit the same. That's where you go for outside content. Okay. Like, I don't know why I like only get slime. I don't, I don't partake in slime culture. There's so much slime and yeah.

I don't know. It's just TikTok knows me better than I know Claude Self. Yeah. And that's what I'll miss. Maybe. Well, it's back. There's nothing to miss. There's nothing to miss. It's back. We also, I meant to tell you, have deer toasters today and they are so crazy. Okay, good. We also have a lot of stories today and I watched the Molly Mae documentary this weekend. First three episodes dropped. We're getting clarity. Oh, it's first three. I thought it was three total. I'm like, that's a lot of hoopla for, you know.

First three episodes dropped. Next three drop in the spring, but they showed the previews for the next three. And there's footage from January 1st where she sees everyone seeing her kissing Tommy on New Year's Eve. Like the turnaround, they got me there good. I mean, they are from Love Island. Like we are used to tight turnaround from these two. And like technically you filmed this two weeks ago, like put it on my screen. It shouldn't be so hard. Upload. That it is for other people. So here's what's going on between the two of them.

And a lot of it was shrouded in mystery in the early episodes. And I wish they would have been a little more clear. They're like, what Tommy did, what Tommy does. I'm like, what does Tommy do? What did he do? No, I hate when there's like this big thing. It's like, just say it. So here's what I've pieced together. He obviously has turned to alcohol since being injured from fighting and then drinking was ruining their relationship. I don't know exactly what he was doing at family functions, why she had to beg him not to drink at her sister's wedding, what he would have done. What does he do? Embarrassing. Well,

what like drunk or angry drunk saying embarrassing things like how drunk people do. Yes. But I just don't know which exact one it was, but like he was drinking all the time, making like half the time their relationship was just so terrible. Cause he'd be drinking the other half. Like she really loves him. Like really, she couldn't keep doing the cycle anymore. And she knew she had to break up with him, but if she didn't announce it, she would have never followed through with it. So when she posted that over the summer, um,

It was like a slow roll last resort, not just like Tommy came home drunk. I'm breaking up with him. She posted it and really did it like to hold herself accountable.

in like leaving him you need to get help however throughout the documentary she shares like the reason why i haven't been crying and i'm not like totally a mess over this is because like i believe we're gonna get back together so that like comes out later in the episodes and you start to see how like they're working towards being back together he's not in it once except for on the phone and just like talking about bambi i think in the second half it will be more about them

their relationship whole again. And then the first three episodes are really about her clothing brand, maybe, and all the work that she's put into it and like the launch event and a lot of like scandal that it has.

I didn't even realize that she had a pretty big like C with the brand because they launched these blazers that were like the hallmark of the collection. Did you see the blazers on TikTok? The pilling? The bubbling, yeah. She said like the manufacturer, what they actually used to make the blazers was not the agreed upon fabric that she had been wearing every single day. Like she was wearing her own blazer and it was just really a bad mess. And then they had more stuff coming out in that fabric and I think she had to cancel it. I think maybe has kind of been like a,

complete clusterfuck for her. And I'm shocked to hear that. I thought it was such a slight. Everything I've gotten from there, I love. And I also now find that because a lot of it is sold out, I go on like Revolve and look for pieces that are, like even this cardigan I'm wearing today is maybe inspired, but it's lioness. I started on Friday night the Molly Mae documentary and it occurred

occurred to me like as I started watching it like I'm actually not a Molly Mae fan like I didn't watch Love Island I don't watch her YouTube videos I like her and her man as a couple and I feel like I like them like through osmosis from you and I was like forcing Ben to watch it and like I'm like when I force Ben to watch something like I need to feel really passionate about it and especially in the beginning like they weren't talking about the Tommy stuff and I was just like

I feel like I grow boss too close to the sun. Like this actually isn't for me. Yeah. It's, it's very slow pace. She is a comfort creator. It's not like comedy, exciting craziness. Like it's just like documentary in her life, in her house. And like, if you, she's what's so remarkable about her actually is that she's just, she's,

she's a very ordinary girl. Yeah. Like who has created something that no other reality TV store star or influencer has done. And like, why her? It's so crazy. But like we are, I am drawn to her. I do. I don't need her to have like the biggest personality. Like she has really lovely taste, but not,

- Outrageous. - So extravagant. I don't know, there's just something about her that's... - She kinda sounds like an equivalent, not now because she's evolved so much past YouTube, but like an Emma Chamberlain. Why did Emma Chamberlain out of all the YouTube swirlies

get this chokehold on America. Her original content, she was just like a regular girl who would like get manicures and like wear her hair in a high pony. Like she was not, she had like a certain aesthetic that was like very like Gen Z, but it wasn't. Now she's like a high fashion. No, but she has a big personality too. And then she was also like dressing in a very distinct way. Yeah. I wouldn't say her personality in her YouTube videos that like shot her to fame, like was so outrageous. Like it was just like, if she

She was literally just a girl. Like she was, when she was like living at home, like when she really, like before she blew up, it was just like girly, squirrely content. Yeah. And I think for Molly also, it's like about Molly and Tommy, but even without Tommy, like it's really about her. So what she's done is just so impressive. And she's also very much like a perfectionist, like very in the weeds on everything. Like a post doesn't go out on any social media account related to her without her looking at it. She was showing her camera roll. Like she just went to take an aesthetic picture of her bath.

Like hundreds of photos of it. That sounds like seriously so unenjoyable. Yeah. And she's like, it gets to a place of like, it's absurd. And when we get to that place, like then I just forget about it. Well, I have to tell you that when I stopped watching Molly Mae, I did watch the movie Conclave and I've been meaning to talk to you about it, but you like ignore me all weekend. Cause yeah, you had a friend over. Congratulations. Cool for you. So happy for you that you have a new best friend. Um, my best friend was here. I absolutely have to tell you about this movie. Okay. Okay.

Because me and Ben started to watch it like a week ago. And it was just clear that it was like not a movie we wanted to watch. And then I was like, let's give it a second chance. Josh had told Ben that it was like one of his favorite movies of the year. So we were like, you know what? Let's try it again. And I'm so glad we did because I actually enjoyed it. But like it was the craziest movie I'd ever seen. And I am going to spoil it. So if you have any plans on watching Conclave. Wait, who's in it? Jackie, you're never going to watch this movie. It's Ralph Fiennes. And it's a movie that I love.

And it's about the selection of a new Pope. It's like a hypothetical scenario. Okay. I don't want to watch that. Yeah. So the, I guess I didn't know, like the ceremony after a Pope dies is called conclave. All the archbishops and Cardinals, excuse me, from all the world, like the global ones have to come together and vote on which Cardinal they want to make the next one. So it's very political. You know, people have allegiances. It's regional too. Like the Europeans want somebody who speaks Italian. The Africans would love someone black. Like it's very, you know, it's a lot of personalities, a lot of cultures mixed together.

And Ralph Fiennes plays like the deacon, the dean or something. Like he's in charge of the procession. And so basically the whole time they're trying to pick a new, I didn't like understand what the movie was about. Cause at first I'm like, oh, they're trying to pick a new,

and Ralph Fiennes' team wants to put Stanley Tucci. And I'm like, sorry, Stanley Tucci is actually too famous to act now. In no fucking world did I think Stanley Tucci was a Cardinal. And when he was gonna be the Pope, I was like, sorry, I'm not seeing it. I'm just not seeing it. - He has a cookware line. - Yeah, I wanna see Stanley Tucci actually ruin the movie with his own aura, you know? - Yeah, yeah.

So, and then they were explaining how it's very political. Like Stanley Tucci and Ralph were like a little bit more like of a liberal, very modern progressive popes. Whereas a lot of the others were like very old school and whatever. So they were just like, we have to choose story. No, no. So then like these Cardinals who were getting a lot of votes, they hadn't reached the, you needed like 71 votes. They vote every day. They do a vote until somebody gets it.

Then this guy was making a lot of progress. Turns out, you know, he fucks some nun and has a daughter. So it was like all these different scandals. So like, where is this movie going? Then they're doing one of the votes in this like special, they're under sequestering. Like they're in this like secret Vatican room for weeks. One of the windows shatters. Turns out there's a suicide bomber outside. I'm like, whoa, this movie's taking a weird turn.

So then all the popes start fighting because they're all on like different sides of the political spectrum. And they're talking about like other religions. And I'm like, damn, this is getting like kind of twisted. And then this one guy stands up and he's like, gives this whole speech about like peace for everyone. It was just like very like, you know, middle ground hippie. And the speech was so powerful. The next time they voted, peacemaker is the pope.

So we're like, oh, okay, I guess that's, at first I was like, you know what, I kind of like that resolution. It's like somewhere in the middle and this rando who people didn't even know, like he didn't speak any of the languages, this rando became Pope, but it's like, okay, all right. But there's like something sinister going on while they're getting ready to announce the new Pope. I'm like, what is going on? Where is this movie taking us? Ralph Fiennes, who's in charge, his guy, he's got like a spy who's like been talking to the outside world for him, comes with some information on the person they have just elected Pope. The peacemaker. The Pope had this trip to Switzerland. Yeah.

but he never took the trip. Why was he going to Switzerland? He had to go get this medical procedure. The new Pope is a hermaphrodite. The new Pope has ovaries and a uterus. And I was like, me and Ben were like. - And a penis? - Yes, so he was explaining his whole life he's been a man. No, like he had a surgery for his esophagus one time. They found his uterus and his ovaries. And he's been struggling with it with his faith. And he went to get the surgery, but he said, God made me this way. I'm not getting the surgery. That's why he didn't go to Switzerland.

like Ralph Fiennes is like oh my god we tried to avoid the guy with a daughter we tried to avoid the guy who was paying people off we ended up with a woman that's how the movie ends like it was seriously I didn't know where the movie was going the whole time and the fact that it ended up like so left field me and Ben were like what the hell did we just watch it was actually so random because I think about the whole suicide bomber plot I'm like what was the point of that like

Was seriously the craziest movie I'd ever seen. I couldn't really come to terms with what I was supposed to learn. So did you like it? Like, yes. Because first of all, the movie itself was just like, it moved at a good pace. It was interesting. Like, I didn't know about this whole, you know, what a conclave was. I guess like some people know that word. I didn't. And the movie actually didn't explain like that that's what that was, but I put it together. But the ending like seriously threw me so, it was just like, it was so kind of crazy, you know? And so random that I was like,

Okay, like, okay, the Pope's a hermaphrodite. Like, I imagine if I was like a Catholic, I might have like stronger opinions about it. But I was just like, oh, okay, like we're just fucking shit up in this movie. But I also like want to go back to the definition of a hermaphrodite, if I may. Sure, sure, sure. And by the way, actually, the movie never said hermaphrodite. It's my understanding that if you are like medically like a certain gender, but you have other parts, that is a hermaphrodite.

- Yes. - I just put the label hermaphrodite. I don't know what the other, I'm like 90% sure. - Yes. - It's a medical condition. - Does he have a penis? - Yes. - And an ovaries. - Yeah, 'cause like your ovaries are in like your stomach. Like he didn't know. It wasn't until he said he was like 35 that he had to get this surgery. The doctors were like, sir, you have a uterus. Okay, hermaphrodite is an organism that has both male and female reproductive organs, 100%. Okay, so I was right, it's hermaphrodite. - Wow.

It was really like so, like when I saw this movie about the Pope, like I didn't think we were going to be going into the gender conversation. Like it was just- Hermaphrodite education. Yeah. And actually I've been thinking a lot about hermaphroditism because I feel like

- I actually feel like hermaphroditism isn't a big part of the gender conversation. It's like something completely separate. - No, no, I've been thinking about it because like when we were getting straightened for all those genetic tests, I think everybody does this, but a specific sect of Judaism, we are very on top of it because of Tay-Sachs, which is like a genetic disease if you're Ashkenaz from Eastern European and a lot of people with our backgrounds can carry it. And if both you and your husband are carriers, it's very dangerous.

So we get screened for genetic testing. We just did it. And a lot of the genetic testings are about like gender and reproductive genitalia. And actually I came back positive for one that was like,

If you have a boy, the boy's gonna have a big penis. And if you have a girl, the girl's gonna like have a big penis too. Now it didn't end up being an issue for Ben and I, but like some of these genetic diseases that like they discover new ones like every day, there's like a thousand that you could test for. And they're really, really rare, but it's just been top of mind for me. So yeah, no, it's, so it's basically like you have a baby, you're not sure what gender it is, but like you're like,

You make a call. Are you talking about hermaphrodite? Yeah. No, because it's clear what the gender is. Like this guy was born a boy. He had a dick. Like they couldn't see the baby's ovaries. And I guess like never in his life did he do a scan or anything where they saw he had a uterus. Like it was just, you can function. You're a man. Like you've got balls and a...

Okay. Yeah, it was weird. But the thing is, like not hermaphrodites, hermaphrodites are lovely. Interesting movie, like plot twist. Interesting movie. We're talking about it. Like I'm telling you, it was so crazy. I was actually shook that that is what the and I'm glad I saw it because I think it's going to be one of those Oscar contenders. And I'm really trying to I'm trying to make my way across all the films and I'm really doing a good job.

So I don't think it should win anything. And I certainly like not to be a hater. I don't think Stanley Tucci should win. I actually think Stanley Tucci needs to stop acting and just commit fully to being like a chef, influencer, socialite celebrity, because it's overshadowing his acting career. Yeah, I agree. His personality is just so big. Like it's not a, it's not a knock on Stanley's self.

No, I'm not saying, and it's not that he's a bad actor. It's that he's so Stanley. Yeah. You can't take the Stan out of Stanley. Was he wearing his glasses? Yes. Like it was just, why is Stanley Tucci at the Vatican? At least take his glasses off. That's so Stanley. Like, and that hasn't been a problem for him up until recently. Like I didn't blink at him in Devil Wears Prada. I certainly didn't blink at him in the lovely bones. Like he, he is now reaching a pinnacle where he has to choose. Yeah.

I feel like he would choose acting. I feel like he would too. I think there's more money in acting. No, and that's like who he is at his core. You can't take him out. He's like trained for it his whole life. Yeah, yeah. The rest is just confetti. Yeah. Okay. Well, thanks for that recap. You are so welcome. And now without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

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Thank you, Turta Travel. You're welcome. Our first story, some musical news from yesterday. Two headlines to share. First, Carrie Underwood sang America the Beautiful acapella after a major tech snafu at the inauguration. So... Seriously, such a terrible thing to happen to a performer. Like...

The whole world is watching, especially Carrie Underwood. Like, you know, you take a risk when you're performing at an inauguration. You're going to divide. We're already so divided. She was already like this big risk. And I know she like came ready to slay. And like whoever was in charge of the aux cord, like seriously, the government is so embarrassing. Like this would never happen at like the Grammys. Like it's just, it's not even hard. And the music started and then stopped. And then it cut. It was seriously just like butt clenchingly awkward. I felt so bad for her. And I was thinking, I'm like, this is like a Katie Heron, you know, moment. What a bro.

♪ It's the right time, it's the right time ♪ And I'm like, if this goes on a little bit longer, she should just like, you know, start singing acapella. And that's exactly what she did. She rallied the room. Honestly, thank fucking God that they moved it indoors because if she was outside, there was supposed to be like 100,000 people or whatever. I don't know how many go to an inauguration.

and there was no music, she would have had to stand there. She couldn't then start singing acapella. Like she would have had to stand there and truly wait. - Well, actually I think that would have been okay. And I think she would have done acapella. 'Cause I think I saw some people saying like the room was singing with her, which was really nice, but they were like all off key. - I was probably fucking with her. - Even harder for her to stay on key. And given all of the trials and tribulations, like it was getting a little scary there for a second.

She sang amazingly. And we actually just watched her on New Year's Rockin' Eve. And I feel like we were saying like, it didn't sound the greatest. - We were just saying like her vocals were like a little bit strained. - Yeah. - And the thing about Carrie Underwood is like we have faith in her as a performer 'cause she comes from one of those shows. Like when you come from a talent show like an expert Kelly Clarkson, like you have actual talent. There are so many singers who like come up out of nowhere and they actually can't sing. It's really crazy. You can't win a competition like that. - We have heard her voice raw many a time. - For years.

However, I feel like people's voices change over the years. - Yes, definitely. - People could lose their voices. Nodes, you never know. - She was struggling at "Rockin' Eve". She gave a great performance. She looked great. Her music was great. She sounded fine, but we know her to be better than that. - She didn't sound amazing. And here she sounded amazing.

perfectly sung. She didn't do anything extra with the song. She hit every note. It was like seriously beautiful. And I actually think overall it turned out to be a really nice moment and probably a little more impressive than if she had had her track and she just sang it. So I think it actually turned out better than what it would have been. But

- Now she's being commended for like slaying it, but also like making the best out of a shitty situation. - It was make it work moment. - I know she was like at first before, because the accolades have really been overwhelmingly positive. I know that like when she got behind that curtain and it was over, like she was so pissed. - She definitely was. And then she definitely like heard that everyone was like, no, that was amazing. Like Katie Heron, honestly, that was the best. - It's Katie Heron. - Just like she said, it's the best it ever went. - It's the best it ever went. - Like it got the people,

- Everybody was singing together. It was really like a beautiful harmonious moment. Everybody was singing the song together. Everybody knows "America the Beautiful." - Yes. - It was kind of like, we should do it like that on purpose next time. - Now for her to have

it happened to that song. I could just tell you like from a singer's perspective, it's actually a kind of easy song to sing. Like you can make it big, but it doesn't have any like crazy high notes or anything. If you had to do that with the anthem and then everybody else is trying to like join in with you, the anthem is one of the hardest songs to sing. Like, so I'm glad that it happened with that particular song, but beyond unfortunate. And like, I would like an investigation done, like whose fault is this? Like, I feel like we just moved on from it and then the music worked for the rest of the day. But like,

Who? Who? I want names. Well, the music didn't work. I'm sorry. Yes. Thank you for bringing that up. We have to talk. Because part B of the story is other headline news from inauguration performances. As we reported, Billy Ray Cyrus was performing at the Liberty Ball. All these balls. Oh, my gosh. Like,

- You really should participate in activities where balls fly at our nose. - The fact that Rascal and Gavin weren't at the same ball and like- - It was so confusing. - It was just, it was a lot as like a number one fan of both of them. I didn't even get to see Gavin perform. Anyways, Billy Ray Cyrus performed at the Liberty Ball or did he? It was an absolute disaster. - You guys. - It was so disastrous.

And to be honest, I am like now, I never thought much about Billy Ray Cyrus. I definitely like a soft spot in my heart for him as Hannah's dad on the show and then Miley's dad in real life. And Iggy Ricky Hart, like Old Town Road, like he's never given me reasons to dislike him. - No, except for Miley, the devil don't need it to you. - Oh yeah, I forgot about that. That devil dumb slut Miley. Oh man, he's so crazy. - They've been beefing, so like he's been a little bit on my shit list.

But I do hold, I like, I do have this bit of nostalgia where I'm like, oh, maybe it's just, you know, it's showbiz. - And by the way, I think a lot of people have that nostalgia. Like for our age, like he really raised us. He was like the television, he was a Disney Channel dad. And then for people older than us, like achy, breaky heart. Like he really does have like ties to culture for a lot of different people. Having said that. - Last night ruined our childhood. - The ties were severed. The ties were severed. - Childhood ruined.

- You guys, it is actually worth watching the whole thing, first of all, 'cause he only sang, I don't know how many songs he was slated to sing, but it was very clear from the moment his performance started that he hopefully was high on drugs, because if that's like who he actually is, like that's best case, best case, he's high on drugs, worst case, like that's who you are. - So here's what happened.

- I don't even know what happened. - Okay, so he came out, I think. They started playing the music video for Old Town Road on the screen. Now I was watching a really terrible live stream that didn't cut. It was just like the back of the room.

It wasn't until the- It looked like he was singing it. At the end of the song, Claudia's like, what is Billy Ray Cyrus doing? I'm like, he's not up there yet. Like, we're just watching the music video. Turns out he's up there. There's no lights on him. He's groaning. And I was like watching it while I was on my phone. And I thought I heard someone like mumbling in the background. I was like, that's weird.

When you told me that, no, he's there. And then I went to a different stream and you see him and he is a mess. Oh my God. The hair. Disheveled. The hair, the shirt, the scarf. Like he looks like...

that just like washed up on shore. At the beach. Literally, it was bridge troll come to life. He was wearing his crazy hair, a beanie, and then a cowboy hat, a jacket, a shirt, a scarf, and he kept taking items of clothing off and like leaving it on the stage. So when it was time for him to leave, he had to like pick up all of his belongings. So let's talk about him leaving because I don't know how many songs he was supposed to sing, but somebody clearly turned his guitar off after the first song because it was so disgraceful. And I think they were hoping that like he would just walk away. Oh, don't.

you could not get Willie Way Cyrus off that stage. You couldn't have offered him $6 million in that moment. Like nothing was stopping this man from continuing to sing. And he said, my guitar's not working. My guitar's not working. It did not end. He's walking on the stage, like talking to people. Then he's saying achy, breaky heart. Like he's like, whatever. We'll just do an acapella. He compared himself to Carrie Underwood. He said she had tech issues too. Oh my God. I actually was mortified. I could only imagine what it was like being there because, and I,

honestly, like shame on the event planners for not getting a security guard and just like, okay, it would have caused a scene for one second. It went on. You would not believe. I think the whole thing start to finish was 10 minutes. Like it was really long. And it's just like, how is this still happening? We're like texting. I could not believe what I was watching. And even if you watch it now, like you'll see what he did, but like that feeling of it happening live and it was,

would not end was so crazy and he's walking on the stage talking to everyone. By the time, and security's coming, they take his mic stand, they take his clothes. - This guy was ill-equipped. The guy was ill-equipped. - He wasn't security, he was like a stage manager. - Yes, he wasn't because somebody needed to give him a flask and grab him by the arm and escort because he kept going the wrong way. Whether it was on purpose or not, he could not find the exit.

of this facility and he wasn't trying. - He wasn't looking for it. - No, but even when he went down those stairs, I think he thought like he was leaving. - Oh, and then he starts hugging and kissing on all the fans and taking pictures like he's Princess Diana. Like it was so crazy. - You guys, it was seriously the craziest thing I'd ever seen in my life. It was disgraceful, like seriously to every, it was a slap in the face to every American. It was in my lifetime in like, in terms of like crazy performances,

Top three craziest I'd ever seen. Craziest I've ever seen. Like it was traitorous to our country. Yes, it was Benedict Ray Cyrus. Was so crazy. And now I feel like I have a lot more understanding because while we've gotten a lot of intel on what's going on with the family's Cyrus drama, we don't know for sure. We just know that there's like a divide between like Billy Ray and everyone. And then there's also that weird thing where like maybe Noah dated her mom's boyfriend, but-

I now have like a deeper understanding of like how you actually can't communicate or have a relationship with somebody who's that far gone. And I have to imagine that he was on some sort of alcohol or drug. Because that's really not how human beings behave.

I genuinely hope that he gets the help that he needs because it was a cry for help. - It was a cry for help. I understand now why there's this divide between the Passire family. So I'm sorry, Miley, that maybe I didn't see it sooner. Even though after we heard that clip of you don't need it. - The devil done made my daughter a whore. - What did he actually say? - He's called her like a slut. - A skank. That devil skank, Miley the devil skank.

That's what he said. - Now everything's gonna be about this performance. - It should be, I'm sorry. This is like a situation where maybe it could be a wake up call for him, but it seems like he's been on this sort of bender for a while since the devil skank comment. - Yeah, so it was audio that was leaked and yeah, he called her the devil skank. - It's such a crazy fucking thing to say about anyone, let alone your daughter. Like seriously, jail for Billy Ray.

Lock him up and throw away the key. Yeah. So, so crazy. That was just a crazy thing. And then Jason Aldean came out. And Jason Aldean said, he's like, oh, we got a little bit more time. I think Billy Ray was supposed to like deliver like a normal performance of like a couple of songs. And that created more time. And Jason Aldean, you know, picked up the pieces that Billy Ray left behind. So he was, he's at least, you know, a consummate professional. Yeah. He went on there like nothing had just happened. Even,

even though we all saw what we saw. I can only imagine what was going on backstage because it's really all country artists and it's a small circle so like everybody must be talking about it. Everybody must be talking about it. Nashville is ablaze. It was so wild and they like he's blaming it on tech issues like even on stage. Is he? Like even on

- He was saying like, "My guitar's not working, the battery's dead." - TMZ was saying like, "It's the audio." But like, no, I think that they cut him off. The video was playing, but they stopped. Like he wasn't, he couldn't sing, he was grumbling. They cut him off. 'Cause Jason Aldean had no audio issues or any issues. - Correct. - What a wild time. - It was just the absolute craziest thing I've ever seen. It was so nuts. And it made the Carrie Underwood thing look not like a big deal.

Are you ready for our next story? I am. Some fake news this morning, but I want to see what you think because Justin Bieber has unfollowed his wife. Fake fucking news. So everyone said Justin Bieber unfollowed his wife Haley on Instagram. And by the way, I guess technically he did. And then today he posted someone went on my account and unfollowed my wife. Shit is getting sus out here. And when I saw on Twitter this morning that he had unfollowed his wife, I feel like news like that,

happens all the time. And then I go and check and the people still follow each other. There's so much. He did unfollow her. Yeah. But when I checked this morning, he was following her back. So I was like, Oh, fake fucking news. And then he released a statement on Instagram stories. So I guess confirming for a period of time, he at one point had unfollowed. Yes. His account was no longer following Haley's. Um, now, you know me, I love to clown on people who like have social media faux pas and then say they got hacked. Like it's seriously so embarrassing. Um,

But I don't know, I'm always very cautious when it comes to Hailey and Jessie, 'cause there's so much drama around them always. And they couldn't like seriously be more stable. Like they've never broken up, they have a baby. Like time keeps proving them strong. So I don't know. - Here's what I think. - I think saying you got hacked is so lame. - I agree.

Here's what I think. I could see a Jelena account like in Turkey getting on the hacking system and fucking shut up. If I had to make a guess as to what happened, just like I did with Tommy and Molly Mae, and let's not forget that like I completely crushed that one. Absolutely slayed. Oh my gosh. Like soothsayer. To a T, alcohol. Soothsayer. No, alcohol. And she can take him back if he can cut out alcohol. And she's taking him back and he's cutting out alcohol. Clairvoyant.

So here's what I think happened here. I don't think Justin Bieber was hacked by an unidentified third party. I don't even think it was a Jelena stan on in Turkey. I happen to agree. I actually think that it might've been someone on Justin's team. Like he's got a, like someone nefarious actor on his team. Oh wow. Did something like this. And,

Who has ties to Jelena. Who has ties to Jelena or maybe doesn't like Hailey. Like there's always like rumors about their relationship that I agree with you are like, I think they're solid. I don't think this is a mark on them as a couple. I think it's a mark on someone who works for Justin.

I had actually thought like, cause Justin is this like diva, big star. I could see them like having an argument, like a regular marital argument and him getting mad and I'm following her. Like that's how I thought maybe that this went down. I agree. I don't, I do not think he got hacked. I think it's actually really hard for a celebrity's Instagram account to get hacked. It used to happen a lot. I feel like it doesn't really happen so much anymore. If I were to hack Justin Bieber's Instagram, like I would post, I don't know, a link to follow at the toast. Yeah. Yeah. Not. And,

And I'd say like new music, raising funds. Like people would literally donate and the person could get away unscathed. Like there's so many things you could do. Not unfollow the wife. And I just want to say, I actually think that if they got into like a fight and he unfollowed her, like that would be really crazy. And like a really bad sign. You have to remember, these are like Hollywood type folks. Like they do crazy things. They do crazy things. No, but that would like,

That would be a serious red flag. That's a crazy thing to do, especially when you know the whole world's watching. You want to embarrass her like that. Well, I don't know how to make sense of this then because I happen to think that like there's a lot of hoopla around them, but at the end of the day, like they're a really strong couple. And so I don't think that this is like a sign that they're getting divorced, but like, but I also don't think he was hacked. So I don't know what happened here. I agree with both of you. I don't think it's a sign of their relationship, but I do think that a couple people have access to his Instagram and are messing with him. Well,

One more thing about Conclave that just reminded me of something because- The Pope's bikini model? Yes. It reminded me a lot of that time that the Pope's Instagram account had liked the photo from an OnlyFans models account. And-

And we were all wondering how that happened. And I feel like now that I know a little bit more about like the systems in place, there is 0% chance that it was the Pope himself. And there is definitely a Cardinal who's like a young thing who's like taking it on to be, I don't think it's like an intern person. I think it's like an actual, a man of the cloth whose specialty is digital. And he was, you know, playing around with the girls. I agree. It was not the Pope self. No, it was like conclave taught me that it wasn't the Pope. Yeah. Agreed.

Are you ready for our next story? What number? Number three, it seems. Oh, yeah. Some social media beef.

Spencer Pratt says he has beef with Call Her Daddy host Alex Cooper for allegedly refusing to promote Heidi Montag's song. So Spencer Pratt is all over the interwaves, especially with TikTok going down in his big TikTok moment. But he's also sharing that he has some beef with Alex Cooper after she allegedly declined to promote his wife Heidi's new song. He has made a lot of content about this. Like not only videos, but he also was doing an Instagram live, excuse me, TikTok live the night that TikTok went down with like six,

Alex Earl and Bethany Frankel. And while he was on with Bethany, he was talking nonstop about it. Yeah. And a few other videos where he explains that when this started happening, he was asking everyone to post Heidi song. He reached out to a bunch of people. He said she was the only one who wouldn't do it. He said at the time that she had said that, um, we have a lot of people displaced from the fires at our house. And I'm like, post the song girl. He,

He previously had gone on her podcast and I think he was saying like he's worn her merch, like always supported and that he didn't get that same support from her. Like he said, like she's number one on the hit list now. And we're also getting intel into this like viral moment from their interview together because there has, he had walked off the Call Her Daddy show. And I guess a lot of people thought that it was, up until now we thought it was fake. I thought it was staged and it was. So Spencer is now making content about that viral moment, sort of pulling the curtain back and being like,

- Yeah, I mean it was fake, but she did ask that question and it was loaded and it was rude. And we did two takes. So he confirmed it was completely staged. - What was the question? - Does it make you sad that you will never be as relevant as you once were? And to Spencer, that's the most hurtful thing you could say.

And so he like quote stormed off and he shared that not only did she, she did ask that question, which he found to be like really offensive. But they had done a take where he responded and like said something like nasty right back to her. And they didn't want to use that take because they didn't want to include something like nasty that he said about her. So he's just sort of like,

Any sort, any dirt he has, like he's throwing, like he's done. Yeah. But he didn't tell us what he said back to her that was cut out. Did he? No. I didn't see that. No, no, no. He didn't. He didn't. And then he was providing screenshots. Like it's getting, you know, it's getting messy. Alex has since used the song. She put out a TikTok statement just about like places she's donating and encouraging others. And the song was playing in the background. And it was after Spencer already did all of this. Right.

So there's, you know, there's two things. One, it's like, it's not like Alex was making like a ton of content and like actively not using the song. I believe that was the first time she had posted on social media. Like she is in LA. She is like directly affected. Um, but two, like it's a low lift. Like just do it. Like everybody was doing it. Emily Radikowski was like literally everyone was doing it. Yeah. And that's just like what influencers and celebrities do for each other. Like I send you my product, you post it, whatever. And this is just like a song. And as you said, it's a low lift. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

- This is not a time to be fucking around with Spencer Pratt. He's kind of got the world on his side. He's extremely powerful right now. - He said respectfully, if I keep my platform and I keep being an A-list rich celebrity, she's so fucked.

Cause I have beef with her. She sounds like you and Ben. - No, literally. Literally, if I keep being a Rich Ayla celebrity. And so like moments like this are kind of fleeting for anyone, but especially somebody who's like in the cycle of like reality star influencer, it's hard to keep the attention of the world. So the fact that he actively has the world on his side and he's, you know, it's kind of humbling to have to reach out to people and be like, can you please just stream my wife's song? So I get it.

- And it's crazy. Like it's seriously the beef I did not see coming. - I did not see coming. - She hasn't formally like gotten in the ring. You know, she hasn't responded, but she made the video sort of, I guess like white flag. - I guess, but he kept going.

- He kept going, like he posted before she made the video, she made the video, he's still posting the video. So that didn't move the needle for him. I don't see her responding to this though. I don't see it. - No, no, I don't see it either. I think maybe she like marked herself as safe. Like all in all, I did do the song. I did do the thing you asked me. And she does have a valid excuse, like living in LA. She said they're like housing a bunch of people. I'm sure it's been like a crazy two weeks. But you could also make the argument that like you could have posted like one TikTok, it takes like 10 seconds. - Yeah.

Yeah, you could argue both sides. Yeah, Spencer said that he's team Sophia with an F now. He said Sophia with an F posted the song and did a dance. Not only did Sophia with an F post the song, she posted it like the minute after Spencer made his first video about Alex. So she like, she saw an opportunity and she took it. Yeah. So this thing is getting deep. And also I found really interesting was the Alex Earl of it all.

- Yes. - So I was saying that Saturday night, the night before TikTok, as the TikTok was coming to an end, Bethany, Alex Earl and Spencer, who are like three big personalities on TikTok, did a live together and actually it actively stopped. TikTok stopped. It was actually, it was like kind of crazy. And earlier in the live, they were talking a lot about Alex Cooper. And so I feel like for Alex Earl to have been a part of that, I think a lot of people are now questioning like, is there beef between Alex and Alex?

- Well, I feel like the streets were saying that there were whispers that there's beef betwixt the Alex's. - 'Cause they were like everywhere, everything all at once, like doing events. I haven't seen them together, like interacting whether it's in person or even on social media in years. Her show is still a part of Alex's network. - Years? - Oh, I'm sorry. You know me and time, a year.

To me, like, I don't see that as like a necessarily a smoking gun, but I actually think like going on live with like your boss's arch nemesis at the moment is very telling. Like that's- It's indicative, yeah. It's told. I'm not even like, oh, it's smoke now. I'm like, oh, there's beef betwixt the licksies.

But I also think like the not showing up to events, I think that's like a core part of Alex's network is throwing these events. And not only can you come and meet Alex, but you can come and meet all the other unwell swirlies. Like they just did one in Philly. That's like, I think a huge part of their like,

business strategy yes but I think that you could make the argument maybe you're you are right but I for the biggest star not to she hasn't been to one in a while I would say the counter argument is that she was among the first to join the network and she was the first one in the early days going to all the events and now there are other people and maybe they take up the torch right now like or there's beef between them or there's but I could also I think a lot of these things like can be explained but when you put it yes the live actually can't be explained

And Alex Earl like keeps making videos with the song. - With the song, yeah. - And that person was just like trash talking your boss and friend. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's definitely layered. - Yeah, it's a layered one. - My coccidinia is so fucking bad today. Like, oh, if you're watching on YouTube, it looks like an actual grandmother is hosting this podcast. - Coccidinia is strong.

Thank you. Me and my community really want to just genuinely thank you for the advocacy you've done for us. And we are going to give you our Ambassador of Hope Award. Oh. There weren't any other contenders, so thank you. That's so beautiful. Thank you. You're welcome. Are you ready for our next story? I am. Rachel Kirkinell's sister claims that Matt James broke up just three hours ago.

Before it's been so long since we did a show like I forgot how much news there was. I know, but I just have to like put a pin like a button on this because until Rachel speaks out, this is what we know. Rachel's sister says that Matt James broke up with Rach just three hours before the shocking Instagram announcement he shared on Thursday. Trinity, the sister, shared the timeline hint under a TikToker's video about the breakup.

Trinity had previously told the TikToker that Rachel and James were still together when he revealed they had separated. James posted the photo of them, including them meeting at the famous bachelor mansion with his prayer. Trinity said that he had broken up with her three hours before he posted that statement. I have to imagine everything Trinity, because Trinity's been making news, you know? And I imagine it's all sanctioned by Richelle. So for that, like, I feel good. And my...

My belief is that Rachel, as a follower of Rachel, I believe her sister is in her content a lot. They are close. Yes. No, this is coming straight from the horse's mouth. It's not like Meghan Markle's sister. No, Samantha. Who hasn't seen her in years. Right, right. And also another thing that came out, and I had seen a couple of DMs about this, people being like, actually, I only got it from one girl. It must have been the same girl who submitted to Dumas. She was like, please don't include my name, but I am in Japan, and I saw...

Rachel and Matt together the day they announced their breakup. And I was like, wait, what? And then that girl, maybe it was the same girl, maybe someone else wrote into Dumas being like, hi, I'm in Japan. And I literally saw these two the day they announced they broke up and showed a picture. So the timeline is coming together. It's still pretty vague, but they weren't in London, which I think a lot of us could have guessed them having, but they were together the day that they broke up and they were also on a trip. That is really unbelievably strange. And the more, um,

This is just like, it's seriously so weird. The whole thing. Yeah. And I don't know who's going to speak first. Given the track record, Matt, who we want to hear from, Rachel. It's true. It's true. Yeah. So I'm waiting to hear from her. The more I hear about the breakup, the more I'm happy that they broke up because-

She deserves something different. - You just really never know what's going on, 'cause I think a lot of people would have considered them a really, really strong, everything seemed to be perfect couple. And not only is that not the case, but now, of course, people do things nefariously, but people go back and say, "Well, this was something weird that Matt did." And a lot of his comments or things that was pulled from a podcast, it's not giving supportive husband.

Especially when it comes to like anytime they were asked about proposals. It was very much like him making her wait. And how funny is that? It's literally not. Yeah, but it's also like hard to judge that stuff like on its face. Because sometimes it is shtick. And like you have like a story about your relationship that you put out to the world. But like we also don't know what it actually is. Yes.

So I take that with a grain of salt. - 100% and it's not always in good faith. - Yeah. - Like I'm not fully, like all signs indicates like Matt being the villain here, but I haven't seen enough full, 100% full proof. Like I need to know. - Yeah. - I need to know more before I can really. - Agree, but it's not looking good three hours. - No, it's not, it's not. - Are you ready for our fifth and final story? - If it's our fifth and final story that's brought to you by Good Ranchers. - Yes. - As we welcome the new

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Plus, you're going to get free shipping, but only when you go to thefarmersdog.com slash toast to get that 50% off. That's thefarmersdog.com slash toast. Thank you, SlashChert. You're welcome. Our fifth and final story, a little hosting news. Host for the Grammy Awards 2025 has been announced. Oh. And it is Trevor Noah again. So Trevor Noah will return as Master of Ceremonies of the 67th Annual Grammy Awards for the fifth consecutive year. He also will serve as a producer on the show.

- Yeah. Well, you know what? I actually just saw, I had two stories for the fifth and I went with that one and I bumped the other one. - Did we learn nothing from Nikki Glaser? Like give it to the renegade, like the same group of people hosting everything. Trevor Noah is now a Jimmy to me. - Yeah, but the thing is- - He's the host of one of those daytime shows, nighttime shows, excuse me. And it's just like, it's boring.

They obviously like him. They think he does a good job. And I think last year we said like, it was totally fine. It was totally fine. I do think Nikki Glaser will force him to like step his trevacy up because- Well, you know, for Trevor, it's not his trevacy, it's his tushy. His tushy. You guys know, I saw Trevor Noah one time in real life and he had like a really big tushy. It was just, it's something that doesn't get spoken about enough. Is it on the list? Maybe-

Maybe, yeah, you can add it to the list of Claudia's favorite stories. We were at Soho House having brunch and it was buffet. So he got up to go to the buffet and it was definitely the pants because they were like tight khaki, which is just a choice when you have like a big ass. And he's wearing a belt too that was like cinching his waist. And it was just, it was giving BBL. Like it really was. It's already on the list. I do think

maybe he'll do a little bit more comedy now that Nikki Glaser set the bar so high. But I do remember remarking last year was totally fine. And obviously it was fine. Grammys were fine with it. So the Grammys are not going to be giving like a diatribe like we did when Nikki Glaser did the Grammys and Oscars. And then we came on here and gave like a whole hour long speech about how amazing it was. There will be no such speech. No, I doubt it. I mean, always holding space like for...

the possibility, but probably not. Grammys are February 2nd. So that's kind of soon sneaking up on us. And also like the Oscar nominations keep getting postponed because of the wildfires. But I do think that they've been given a date. Yeah. I think they're going to get, the show must go on. There was like a theory that the Oscars were going to be canceled this year. Oh, and it was so funny. It was making me laugh. Not that it's funny, but like there was a tick tock from like CNN, like something legit that was like Oscars heavily considering canceling stream just because it's like so out of touch. Right. And it's just like,

And that's what people want to talk to do, right? Like cancel this sort of extravagant thing. Jagging the comments were like, well, wouldn't it be better for them to put it on and donate the proceeds? So it's like, you literally can't win if you cancel, like you're not helping. And if you go and donate, you're not helping and you're out of touch. Like it was actually funny to me to see like both sides of the coin. I'm like, okay, well people are just impossible. Well, that's the moral of the story. People are just impossible.

People are also complex. And I think that's really reflected in this week's Dear Toasters. Jackie, there is the craziest one. I'll save it for last. Really? Maybe I won't be able to stop thinking about it. It's hard for me, you know, to toggle between DTs, but...

So DT, Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment where Jackie and I help three swirlies in need. They write to us about things that are going on in their lives, whether it's relationship related, work related, hygiene related. Sometimes we have a hygiene one today. And so whatever you need help with, if you ever are finding yourself in a pickle being like, I would love to hear from this fabulous swirlies that I listen to every day. You actually can write into us, deartoasters at gmail.com or head over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. Scroll down. There's a little submission box. Both are totally anonymous. Are you ready? Mm-hmm.

Hello, swirlies. Okay, you have permission to laugh at this absolutely insane conundrum I found myself in. My husband is perfect in every way, but over the course of our marriage, there have been a few times that he has forgotten to flush the toilet, which is not the concern I'm, of course, bringing you today, although it is insane. My concern is that the few times this has happened, there has been no toilet paper in the toilet. I'm starting in... It's poop.

Just to be clear. Yeah. My concern is that the few times I see this, I have this, you know, toilet paper and I'm starting to get seriously concerned that he isn't wiping his tissue. Do I ask him or just like let him do his thing? It's kind of embarrassing for him and for him. And I'm sure no man wants his wife asking if he wipes his butt, but I also need him to start wiping his butt. If that's the case, what do I do? So I think you would totally ask him. This doesn't seem like a man who's easily embarrassed or else he would think twice and flush the toilet. That's what someone who's like a shy, embarrassed person would do.

I would like to offer like one sort of like saving grace alternative that like maybe just maybe the poops that he has not flushed are poops you took before a shower. Because sometimes if you're like about to get in the shower, like unless you have explosive diarrhea, like you don't need to wipe. Like I would, but you don't have to. Have you ever, ever done that? Me personally? Yeah.

- Yeah, okay, like I have. Like if I made like a pargy loaf that like was sort of-- - Oh my God, that is so crazy. It's a good theory. - And then you're gonna shower to literally wash your ass. What is this toilet paper gonna do compared to my body wash? - No, but it's step one.

for sure I'm just offering an alternative and I just want to say for the record like I don't do that all the time I would have never crossed my mind however I do in thinking about it think it's something that a man might do so that could be one but I think you just ask him like there's really no secrets like of the like this between man and woman it's not that embarrassing just be like by the way ever heard of toilet paper yeah just find out like this would like seriously curiosity would get the best of me

And this is just a great reminder of the thing one time, speaking of your friend, Sam, who stayed at your house this weekend, who's your new best friend, who you like don't need me anymore because of her husband. One time I said like over 10 years, for sure, for sure. Fuck her. No, I'm kidding. Her husband one time said like truly one of the most profound things to me that I never forgot. You know what I'm about to say about wiping your butt. He was just like, it's really so crazy that like 99% of Americans feel it's sufficient to wipe their asses after like making a duty with toilet paper. Cause like,

Let's say you got a pee. It's like, it's duty on your skin, right? Let's say you got duty on your finger. Would you just wipe it away with toilet paper? Like, no, you would use soap. So I, ever since then, it's not a fair comparison because like you eat with your fingers and it needs to be fine. No, no. He, in his defense, he said your arm, he said your arm. Yeah. Also like you it's out in the world.

So I just want to say like I ever since then, my house is always fully stocked. I use like adult wipes. Cottonelle is my favorite brand if anybody cares, but I'll take whatever I can get. And I think more people need to get comfortable. I know in other countries bidets are like really popular. Like they're even like public toilets and shit. That's like extreme for me. But I think a wipe like as a country, the fact that we don't,

use more wipes like there should be wipes in every major public restroom moral of the story just ask him he's not someone who can be embarrassed and maybe he needs and if he is going to be embarrassed like maybe he needs to be a little bit embarrassed so he starts flushing the toilet whether or not he wipes is his issue if you hadn't noticed it like in another way you know right like when you're having sex like does it smell like poop yeah like then it's probably not an issue but I would just want to know for fun

- For funsies. - Okay, this one's really crazy. - Okay. - Hi, Swirlies. I'm a working married mom of two. A few months ago, I got a comment on a TikTok video I posted from a fake account telling me that my husband was cheating on me. It turned out to be true and that is being dealt with. My problem is whoever this person is that messaged me will not stop posting videos of me, screenshots of TikTok messages she sent me,

But when I blocked her, she tagged my business or she'll tag my sister. I can't get away from her. Who is she? What does she want? Do I ignore it? Sincerely, an annoying toaster who doesn't have time to deal with this bitch. It might be her husband's mistress who wants you to leave him and wants to ruin your life. She's obsessed with you. And wants to ruin your life so that you leave him and that he's all hers. Who else could it be? This is like so crazy to happen to just like a civilian, you know? Not like a celebrity. Yeah. But she also like has a business and it seems like maybe she's a little bit of a creator. So...

If she didn't have those things, like I don't know if the person would have messaged her or emailed her or something, but either way, I think it's someone who is sleeping with your husband, obsessed with your husband once during your life. Yeah, or like slept with your husband once and like didn't get the relationship out of it that she wanted. So she's trying to like take you down. There are like not services, but there are people on the internet who like are FBI investigators who can like find out who's behind a Finsta. And if it's like really bothering you, because I kind of would want to know too, or honestly, if your husband is,

is in the dog house, like now would be a great opportunity. Be like, I need the names of everybody you slept with so I can cross reference them with my stalker. And then once you find out the identity of the stalker, she's lost all of her power, right? The power is in the anonymity. So you can then go to her place of business and give her a little bit, go to the brothel where she works and give her a little bit of her own medicine.

And if you are trying to reconcile with your husband, like he can earn some points. He has to come clean. He can earn some points by sharing some names and like letting you know who he thinks this might be. And if you guys are splitting up, well, he could still do you a solid. Yeah. Like on your way out after burning the house down, if you could just be decent for 30 seconds, that would be great. Yeah. So I would start with him. Finding out the identity of your stalker is I think the first step in taking your power back. Mm-hmm.

This third and final Dear Toasters is one of the craziest ones that maybe we've ever had on our show. Not to be dramatic.

Hello, Jackson, Claude. I desperately need your advice. My husband and I are very close with two other couples. My husband has known the guys since college. We all have kids the same age. We take trips together throughout the year and we're pretty much together every weekend. All this is to say we are very close. Well, here's my dilemma. I was on my husband's phone looking for an email from my son's school to forward to myself. While looking, I noticed he had sent multiple naked photos of me to the two guys in our friend group.

And the two guys had also sent naked photos of their wives to my husband. Some of the photos were ones I had taken myself and sent to my husband, and some he had taken of me that I had never seen before. Obviously, I feel weird about this, and I don't know what to do. Do I tell the other wives, aka my closest friends, do I confront the guys about it? Help.

Love ya. Now, what comes to mind immediately? That guy in France. A thousand percent Giselle Picoult or whatever her name is. If you don't know the story, it is probably one of the most...

disturbing this woman who was married to her husband for like 50 years found out remind me how she found out again oh so the guy he was caught like at the mall taking pictures like up girls skirts and so he was detained by the police the police went through his phone his computer and they found all of these photos and videos of his wife so basically what he would do was he was drugging his wife and then at night was letting men come and gangbang and rape his

his wife and he had pictures and videos of it. And this was going on for years and years and years. And she had no idea. And of course, like she suffered medical issues because of this. And it was just a mystery to her and her doctor. Her name is Giselle Pelicot. Yeah. So he was, and the, the, the trial just happened. It was like 70 men were all found guilty of like gang rape and, and, and him like taking pictures of his daughters to selling them daughters-in-law selling pictures.

I didn't even know humans could be that depraved. It was huge news in France and it made its way over here because they all were just found guilty. I haven't stopped thinking about that story. It was so upsetting. She would go to the doctor with all these issues. - Yeah, like health issues. - Health issues, of course, like vaginal health issues. - She had no idea she was being raped every night. - She was suffering memory loss. - Oh my God, like seriously so crazy and honestly,

I don't wanna be dramatic and I know everybody says, "Turney gets dramatic." This is giving her husband energy. Like taking nude photos of your wife without her knowledge is such a crazy, weird thing to do.

sending them to other people. Like now we are entering the territory of your criminal to me. - Yeah, that they have like a little thing going on. - And they have some, yeah. - 100%. - You absolutely have to tell the wives. - First step, tell the wives. I would, if you could like just get screenshots of everything, get it to your phone so that you can like show them with their own two eyes. Like it's so absurd they might not believe you. And then either confront the men

I don't know, like go to the police, go to their mothers. Like this is so crazy. - Go to their mothers. - Because even like, of course, like you think about like- - On its surface, let's say like best case, they're just like sharing. That's grounds for divorce in my opinion. Let's say even if it's nothing more disturbing, sinister, evil than that, like, bitch, I'm walking around my house naked. That's the most like sanct, what's the word I'm looking for?

private, like intimate, and you're taking pictures and you're sending it to your friends, that's grounds for divorce. I think there's something even more disturbing going on under the surface. I don't even know what it is. So the fact that like the three of them like do this, they're doing something worse with these photos. These are fucking freaks. - I agree. - And even if they're not doing something worse, that is not your man. Your man protects you. Your man loves you. Your man would fight to the ends of the earth to keep your body like your private space.

This man is your enemy. He's the devil. Yeah. Call the police. Call the police, comma, call their mothers. Yeah. Sometimes calling someone's mom is more powerful than calling. But sometimes like, you know, people end up being so fucking crazy because they have crazy parents too. Like sometimes you'll tell someone your son did this and they're like, so, so sometimes it's not a foolproof plan. The mother's thing. But sometimes calling someone's mom, especially if they have like a, you know,

Like an immigrant parent, oh, they don't fuck around like this. It's very cultural too sometimes. Call their parents. Yeah. Jackie's right. Get all the evidence first before he knows you're onto him. Because you sat, like this is so far-fetched. I've never heard of this. You need, like take your phone and film this.

- Yeah. - The chat. - Yeah. - Film the chat, film his phone while you're scrolling through the chat. Like I think, 'cause too many screenshots that leaves a paper trail. Nope. And video, this can be edited. No, a video can't be edited. Film the fucking chat. - Yeah. Good idea. - And you send that shit to the wives. I like that you know and you have a little bit of headstart because you need, people are gonna think, they're gonna doubt you 'cause it's so crazy. - Yeah. - You need unequivocal evidence. - Really disturbing. - I'm really sorry. Like that's such innovation of privacy. - Yeah.

And that's dear toasters. Yeah. Did I, by the way, did I over exaggerate or like too much sick? I know. That's why I left it for last. So we can just wrap it up. Okay. Let's wrap up.

Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show. Wait. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast-paced stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast and where podcasts can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, Cat's Box, all the places where we listen to podcasts. Find us at Toast. Leave a five-star review about how beautiful, about how stunning, and about how wickedly talented we are. Love ya. Bye.