250. Maintaining long distance friendships in our 20s
The Psychology of your 20s
Deep Dive
Why do long distance friendships often face challenges in their 20s?
In their 20s, people often scatter for school, work, travel, or personal reasons, leading to less proximity and convenience in maintaining friendships. This period sees multiple shifts in living situations, making it harder to sustain frequent in-person interactions and shared memories.
What psychological factors contribute to the difficulty of long distance friendships?
The lack of convenience, proximity, and shared memories can strain relationships, especially in the early stages. These factors are crucial for building trust and familiarity, which are harder to maintain over distance.
How can shared memories help sustain long distance friendships?
Shared memories enhance social bonding. The more specific and autobiographical memories friends share, the closer they tend to feel, even when separated by distance.
What role does effort play in maintaining long distance friendships?
Effort is crucial; it involves intentional planning, regular communication, and making friends part of your routine. Showing up for friends by keeping informed about their lives is key to sustaining the relationship.
Why is patience important in long distance friendships?
Patience is essential as people navigate their own complex lives. It involves showing grace to friends and understanding that they may not always be available or responsive due to their own circumstances.
How can opportunities enhance long distance friendships?
Taking advantage of opportunities to see each other, even if they are rare, can significantly strengthen the bond. These moments of reconnection can make the relationship feel more special and valued.
What should be adjusted in expectations for long distance friendships?
Expectations around communication frequency, depth, and the role the friend plays in your life should be adjusted. Being clear about these expectations helps manage the relationship without unnecessary strain.
What are some creative ways to keep long distance friendships alive?
Practical tips include scheduling regular calls, sending handwritten letters, care packages, and communicating in each other's love language. Activities like Waffle Wednesdays, sharing a journal, and using close friends stories on social media can also help.
How should one handle the inevitable fallouts in long distance friendships?
Accept that not all friendships will survive the distance. Recognize when a relationship has naturally fizzled out due to lack of effort or mutual change. Handle these endings neutrally, without bitterness, to leave the door open for potential future reconnection.
- 50% of long-distance friendships fail in the long term.
- Distance adds emotional, social, and relational changes to friendships.
- The average person in their 20s has 2-5 long-distance friends.
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