#60 The Money Episode Part 2
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Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi with Brian Bates, Aaron Weber. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. At Mint Mobile, we like to do the opposite of what big wireless does. They charge you a lot. We charge you a little. So naturally, when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you. I

That's right. We're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes. See details. So welcome, everybody. Welcome. Hello, folks. Let's go. As I see let's go in the wild, I'll see people come up.

And Steve will say, let's go, folks. But I mean. I think it jumped the shark. Let's go. Yeah. I'm all for people saying this, let's go, folks. But people are saying this every let's go that there ever is. There is. Yeah. Well, we're going to put a stop to it. USA Baseball. I mentioned this last week. USA Baseball, their official Twitter, did a hashtag, let's go, folks. Yeah. Let's go, folks. Let's go, folks. That's got to be somebody that watches, right? Yeah.

Yeah, because we're the folks part. No one says, let's go, folks. This was a couple weeks ago during the Olympics, and somebody hit a two-run homer, and they put hashtag let's go, folks. You got to trademark this, Nate. Could be. Also could be pretty arrogant on our side of thinking that let's go, the most popular thing in the world, followed by folks, another quite common phrase. But maybe it's us. Who knows?

Let's start it off with some of you guys' comments. My voice sounds rough. We did a bunch of shows this weekend. Aaron Olson. This episode is the perfect sum of how great this podcast is. First of all, let's hear how Nate watches people putt. Then Boris went into a minor league baseball game. Neat. And in closing, are you ready for this? Aaron rode a subway. Okay.

That was only in the first 31 minutes. What a ride. Oh, and then they talked about the ocean. I'm hoping next week Nate talks about the perfect fit for a golf glove. Brand brings up a trip to a local hardware store and Aaron rides a tandem bicycle for the first time. And the main topic will be air. That sounds like a great episode. I think we would do that episode. I'm always in between on golf gloves.

I go between a medium and a cadet medium. What's a cadet medium? I don't know, but some of them I like. It just says cadet medium. Never known. A little different shape, a little different size. I usually get cadet medium. You want them tight, but not too tight. Loose is not good. It's whatever you feel. It's like when you go shoes or anything. I can never tell if someone's like,

When you try something on and it's like, does this fit good? And you're like, I don't know, man. Like you can never, you can't decide if you're kind of in between.

I'm a very in-between. In-between sizes? In-between sizes. I'm all about in-between sizes. That's why I'm the greatest average American. I'm in-between. Yeah. I think most Americans are. I remember the first time I got a wide shoe. That was pretty eye-opening. Yeah. Because I'd been getting, I'd had to get a size up. And I thought that's how shoes were supposed to fit. Yeah. And then once I got one that was wide, I was like, oh my gosh. Is it like because of the inflammation? Yeah.

Do you go back and forth between them? He only has one wide one. When I have a gown flare up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just my left foot's wide. Especially me. To tell Lucy, no, honey, it's not a good time this month, so I need to bring that clown shoe out if you don't mind. Uh...

My gams are barking. You walk in, it's obvious you have two shoes on. What is that? Well, this size is a 12. The other is a nine. Nine, double wide. Double wide. It's like a square. It just comes out. It sticks out. Yours only goes in. Isn't that like a woman's shoe that goes down? Yeah. Yours goes and then... Jesse Rothacker. Rothacker.

Rot Hacker. Could be Rot Hacker. Could be. Could be Jesse Rot Hacker. I hope they went with Thacker. Rathacker. This has got to be your most ADD episode so far. I'm curious if any of y'all were ever diagnosed with ADD. This question is specifically for Aaron and Nate because I don't think ADD was invented yet when Bronisaurus was a kid. Pray to hell you didn't catch it. You couldn't have even caught it back then. We never even talked about it back then. Y'all don't have enough stuff to look at. Uh...

He literally couldn't be distracted back then. Yeah. There was nothing. I mean, what are you going to do? You know? Just like three things. Ooh, a candle. Oh, God. What is this? Eight squirrels outside? You got kind of nuts out there. It almost was overwhelming. If y'all just had a bird fight in the backyard, it was like, go ahead. Oh. You almost like, you know, when you watch a movie and they tell you it can, if you have like,

Oh, epilepsy or seizures? Seizures. That's what they do. They're in squirrel mating season. Just so people don't think I'm making fun of ADD, I should mention that I was diagnosed with it, and I believe that's one of the main reasons I was voted class clown in high school, and I'm thankful my brain works that way. I don't know. My wife has ADD. I mean, does everybody have it now? I don't have it. I don't think. I don't think I have it. I'll get stuff done.

Like, if I, if there's something, I don't, when something needs to get done, I look at it as, like, just get it done, and it's over. You zero in. Now, talking, we can, I can get, so maybe, like, you can be kind of, like, going off and, you know. Tangents. Yeah, on tangents and stuff, but, I mean, that's, you know, like, that's the creative part. I don't think I don't, I get stuff done. My wife starts stuff, and then just...

wanders off and then you know when I started in the news business they said every video had to be at least four seconds before you cut to another shot like when you're editing and now because of people's lack of attention span it's got to be so much faster because four seconds seems like an eternity yeah

Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, you think the cuts are much quicker? Cuts are much quicker, yeah. But you're telling me that could be the thing that causes the... It's kind of self-perpetuating, yeah. Yeah. It's at the bottom of that. Alec Kintai. Kintai, I make him sound like he's... How would you say it? I'd say Kintai as well. Kintai. It's just funny the way you hit it sometimes. Kintai. It's all one word. Mm-hmm. Yeah, of course. Uh...

But I pronounce it like it's not. Oh, Alec Kentai. Oh, is Ken your middle name? Kentai. No, I just slowed down and took a break and got to... And his last name, I started it. Got a drink of water when I did some things. Some AD, kick an injector, mail came back in. Kentai.

Aaron presenting the scenario about being stranded on an island and Nate replying, speed two was on last night. Has to be one of the quickest left turns a conversation has ever taken. Love it. I don't know. Maybe I do have ADD. But is it ADD when something else just reminds you of that? Speed two was on. I don't think so. Oh, well, that's just how I think. Speed two was on. I watched it. They're on the boat.

Where's the boat going? Yeah. Couldn't stop it. Well, that's relevant to an island. That is. It's almost like you're moving faster than this guy is. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was one of the stronger moments of the episode. Yeah. I was glad you brought it up. Yeah.

It was like, oh, yeah, well, now we're cooking. Now we're getting somewhere. Jennifer Weiss, the funniest part of this whole thing to me is when Aaron asked, what's my role? How can I help out the three of us? And Nate and Brian just stared blankly for at least one second of awkward silence. Poor Aaron, the most underrated member of this podcast. Hey. I think he's happy to hear that. Yeah. Why? Because he thinks that every day.

He thinks that he's the most underrated? I think most people would think you're the most underrated. Wouldn't you? Mm-hmm. Okay. I don't think people would think you are. All right. I'll take that. But, yeah, now they're saying I'm finally getting my accolades. Now you deserve to get some accolades. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We got a lot of breakfast fans. Yeah. The breakfast people are coming out, and Aaron's slipping. Mm-hmm.

I'll try to step it up, man. Yeah. And that, yeah. Sometimes you try to, I like to throw out a hypothetical, get the ball rolling. And that time it didn't work that well. We went right from that into speed too. Well, you got an Arby's hat and Adidas shirt on, so it's going real good so far. Uh,

You're the only person who's ever wore those two things together. I don't think they're conflicting brands, dude. I think they work together. I mean, it just seems it's Adidas athletic. Do you order that? It looks like you have the, you know, like you were, it's like I'm an athletic guy. And then you're like, I used to be an athletic guy, but here's the reason I stopped. That's what it looks like.

So you still have some shirts from your athletic days, but then the RV slowed you down. And I'll be honest, it looks like you could work there with the headphones and this. Yeah. Like if you went up and... This is official sanction. I think you're the manager that got called in and you're off the golf course. Yeah, at least I'm the manager. Did you ever work fast food? No, I never did. Never did. I worked in a kitchen. You figured you were there in nothing. He kind of did. Yeah.

I'm there enough. I got a new joke about eating fast food. You don't want to work where you do something you love. You don't want to see it. It takes the joy away from it. Yeah. You wouldn't want to work on a golf course, right? Yeah.

I don't know. I could see being, dude, I look at being one of those retired cart guys. I mean, I think I could do it and I look forward to maybe doing it. I would hope I would get the, whatever I want out of the drive of comedy. If it eventually, if I feel all right, I can take a step back and just go get a,

job at go work at just checking people's carts how to go out there today as I clean their clubs yeah you slip me a five dollar bill go buy yourself something nice go buy yourself something nice and you're like thanks man just scrubbing it how was it that would be fun they're like did you they look at me we on Netflix yeah how things going bad now actually now I'm doing what I love I'll be honest with you never been better had a great career yeah

and all I've ever wanted was to do this. I want to sit there at the start and go, time you boys tee off. I'm going to pull up in your cart and go, guys, we got to speed it up a little bit. Smooth it along. Smooth it along. Just being out and around a golf course. Or I would be, I'd like to be those people that, I want to do that on the PGA. I try to sign up to help once at Augusta.

And that was, I mean, maybe a couple years ago. Doing like the guy that holds the sign up. I want to hold the sign up. I want to wave where the ball's at down the fairway. Or it's right. Or I want to be like sitting halfway down where I go find the ball and I get to put the thing and go, you're over here. That does sound fun. I would love it. I remember as soon as I was old enough, I got to volunteer to hold the –

Scorecard? No. At football games, I'm blanking on what they're called, but the first down markers, when you're old enough to be responsible enough to hold those, that feels kind of nice. Yeah. I get it. Is there pressure, though, that you're like, what the hell is this? It's like a Little League game. Nobody cares. It's got a five on this thing. It's a fifth down on my bet. You're like, I don't know. You have to go. This was used for baseball. We moved it out here.

I saw where Phillip Rivers says he's not going to rule out coming back. And I'm like, did your dad upset him? Is there trouble? I talked to him about that. It was a misleading headline. Yeah.

Yeah. That article. He was asked like, you know, let's say emergency scenario. Yeah. Your season's over and you get called up. He's like, yeah, I'd keep my options open. I'm not going to. Yeah, yeah. The article made it sound like he's abandoning the high school and he's going back. I thought him and your dad had words or something. Thought they fought it out in the office? Yeah. Yeah.

I hope not. He didn't seem worried about it. He said, Phillip, you'll wear a college shirt when you walk into this school. Phillip goes, I don't have to. He goes, yeah, we'll see about that. And then he leaked it. So he's going to go play arena football. Phillip was like, don't say that, man. I like that he says, yeah, you can't rule anything. You're like, I don't know, man. What if there's teams running for the Super Bowl and someone gets hurt and you're like, yeah, dude, let me go step in. Go get a ring. Yeah. Head back. Yep.

Go coach. Y'all's football team crumbles. He's gone. Cheyenne Bashir. Cheyenne. Greetings from Pakistan. Hey. Look at that. Global. Hey, Nate and Aaron and breadcrumbs. Love how clean you keep the podcast and your ability to try and be funny about anything without ever being right about it. You guys put a smile on my face every week, so an abundance of appreciation and gratitude for y'all. Keep up the great work.

Thank you. Thank you, Cheyenne. Pakistan. That's pretty cool. I would love to go. Would you? Yeah. To Pakistan? Yeah. Do some stand-up over there? A lot of stuff's going on. Flying to Kabul and then traveling over? Yeah. Head in. See what's happening. It's not good right now.

Yeah. It may not go right this second. Yeah, it would be waited out a little bit. Maybe Cheyenne would say, I wouldn't come right now. I'd love to come to Cheyenne. Cheyenne, Wyoming. I think Cheyenne and her family would wait for me. They'd let me. Can I stay with them? Yeah. Yeah. And I think they'd just tell me, let's not come. I wouldn't come now. Yeah. Ian Rice. I almost said I-an, but Ian Rice.

As a guy who swam competitively in college, I can assure you that freestyle does mean you can do whatever you want. The crawl stroke is a stroke everyone uses because it's the fastest stroke. Someone could swim butterfly backstroke or breaststroke if they wanted to do so. And backstroke is the same way. You can do whatever you want as long as you're on your back the whole time. Hmm.

That'd be, I mean, backstroke, I don't know what if you were just like going sideways on your back. I mean, your race is over, and you're not even to the, you're like, all right, well, that didn't work. They should make Kate Ledecky do that. She has to do a backstroke while everybody else does the freestyle. Yeah. Just to flex, just to do something more difficult. I've never heard of it called the crawl stroke. I had never heard that either. Makes sense. It looks a little bit like a crawl. Crawling across the water. Uh-huh.

I didn't. So you can do whatever you want. So you were right. Have at it. I was right. Yeah. Some people, there's still a debate going on. This is the latest Nate land controversy. I think the freestyle is what is the freestyle? What are you allowed to do? Somebody else said they swam competitively and they said it was so specific. This might've been the comment you read last time, but people are still arguing. I believe Ian rice though. Sounds like a good name. Trustworthy name. He swam competitively in college.

Does that mean he made the college team? Yeah, it could just be. We don't even know. I mean, Ian could be. He's got to see like, you know. He races for tourney, brother. Yeah, I just go to the pool and swim. I was real competitive about it. Did the other people know you were competitive? He's like, I never mentioned it, but I beat them all. I was undefeated. He just doesn't tell them.

He's just lapping them. And they're like, oh, I didn't know we were racing, dude. I thought you were, this is like open swim. And he goes, well, saw me bringing the heat. I thought you were going to bring it to pasture. He's swimming on your right. Comes down. Just like a neighbor. Right. Yeah. Crawl stroke. Come through. Ian got a question for you. Was the pool a circle? It's above ground. Were you doing freestyle and just trying to get it where it's all going in one motion, like an above ground pool?

how fast you can do it. We called it the crawl stroke. I mean, this whole thing could be falling apart with Ian. I mean, he goes, I've never heard any of this stuff. I still, Ian, I'm with you. I still want to, Ian is my, is my swimming guy I'll go to. Michael Miller. I love how the comment section is turning into fact-checking the commenters from the previous episodes who are fact-checking the episode before that.

Exactly what just happened. I love it. Trying to hold each other accountable. We need more of that. We do. Dylan Schaefer. This podcast has really changed my life. Before I listened to this, I thought I would go nowhere in life and that I just wasn't smart enough to do anything. But listening to a Notre Dame graduate say a kilometer is about a mile really gives me hope that I can make it. I love listening to Nate Aaron in back posture. Ruined my faith.

Inhumanity. Back posture. Do you have good posture? Are you happy with your posture? No, I feel like you're trying to tell me something. No, I'm not happy with mine. I'm wondering how you feel about yours. You probably have the best out of the three of us. I don't think about it as much as you guys do, but just...

Well, last week I did that show at the church and they put it up on the video screens and I could see myself up there. I'm like, oh my gosh. Hunched over. Yeah, so hunched over. That's always tough when you are talking and you got two screens next to you and you can turn and you see.

Those drive-in shows, I couldn't look because I'd look over and I'd be like, oh my gosh, it's weird to see yourself on a screen. Yeah, it's cool. Did we talk about that last week? It's like seeing yourself on local news. Did I say that? When we went to the golf thing, me and Haley Joel Osment were sitting there and we thought we were going to be on TV on one time, like you could see us. And I was like, it doesn't matter how much...

if you get on TV, I've been on TV and it's still nothing better than like you get on like a golf thing or like local news. Yeah. I wonder like, it's like, does even, does Brad Pitt, are you like, that's me? Yeah. We just don't want to be like, Hey, watch channel five. I was on, look at this. Cause it's still, that's like still the coolest thing. Yeah. Cause it was like, you're like, you see us back there. We were all the way in the back. Like, I think they would love it.

And we were hoping so. I'm not watched. I recorded the golf and went back and watched to see if I could see me and just be like, could I be somewhere? Yeah. Because it's kind of fun. Yeah. It's like Jumbotron at a game. It's all, yeah, it's all fun. Yeah. You don't get used to that. Uh-huh. Maybe you do. But kilometer about a mile. I mean, what I meant was. You don't do the mile. That's their mile. Yeah.

That's their mile. You know what I mean? Who's they? The rest of the world. Yeah. That's their mile. Instead of using miles, they use kilometers. Which one's longer? Kilometers. 20 kilometers is like 12 and a half miles. Okay. So a mile would be longer. A mile would be longer. A 5K is 3.1 miles. So a mile is longer. Yeah. So that's why they can't run as much as we can. Yeah.

One mile is 1.6 miles. They get everywhere a little quicker than we do because it's five kilometers and they go three miles away and then they go, I'll be there in five minutes and then they're there in three. That's why we have a weight problem in this country. We can't weight on anybody because they're not getting their times right. You have a weighting problem. Yeah.

Yeah.

After babysitting Bates corrects them on where the Southern Ocean is actually located, we suddenly jump into Aaron Land Podcast, where Aaron pretentiously questions up and down really means. This had me laughing so hard I was making a scene on a Brooklyn subway. Hey. Wow. Maybe this is his first time. Can't get enough of this show.

Did you see Neil on your subway ride? No, I didn't talk to anybody on there. But you can't, look, what's up and what's down. That's a great, I always like making that point. I think it's interesting. But if you're in space, there's no up or down. You can look at it however you want. Wherever your head's at. So if you're upside down. Well, you would feel it because then you're like. But you wouldn't, no, you wouldn't feel that you're upside down because you're in space. There's no gravity. You don't feel like you just get lightheaded? No.

No, because... So the gravity, so everything, your blood just stays where it stays. Yeah. So it doesn't move. Yeah, you could flip upside down, you wouldn't realize it at all. Because the blood's not rushing anywhere, because there's no gravity. So that's like when they pour water, it just floats. But it does go up, it doesn't stay straight. It would, yeah. No, but you see it, there's always like different levels. It goes wherever it's pushed to, it's just the force. But you could push it up. You could, yeah.

But I'm saying we look at, we always look at the earth, Northern hemisphere, Southern hemisphere. You could easily just look at it upside down and it wouldn't be wrong. So if you're in space, would you come back down? And then you're like, you feel weird. You're like, I've been upside down for a year. And you're like, that's the guy we sent up there. And he comes down. He just, he's like, I've got this monster headache.

And you go, that's what that guy that, what's the guy that's the astronaut that lives with him for a year and he's like running for governor? That's what I would do to get him. Is he running for something? Scott Kelly? Yeah. If you're running against him, just like drop that bombshell. Hey, fun note, Scott Kelly was upside down for a year. Doesn't get it. That can't be good for the brain. He was hanging upside down. Hanging upside down. Thought he was right side up. You think he knows how to run this country? That's what I would just throw out, stuff like that. Uh-huh.

Hey, Scott, did you know you were looking at the moon most of the time? Idiot. Did you say that? Blackhead. And he goes, no, I knew what the earth looked like. Did you? Is there proof of that? You were upside down most of it. And then everybody goes, that is true.

that's a good point go to his house and he has one of those things we hang out upside down like on this inversion table and you go to his house put him let's put him in it yeah see if we see what he thinks is right uh but like in the what about an underwater you can tell you think you can tell if you're upside down but there's there's a great there's a great say if you're underwater yeah you blow bubbles out where it's everywhere the bubbles go that's that's up yeah yeah

There's still gravity if you're in the water on Earth. I'm saying if you're outside the Earth, there's none. Yeah. Well, they train in the water. They do, because that's the closest they can get to it. Yeah. To simulate it. Yeah. Yeah. JS, as someone who was fascinated with prehistoric creatures, the Meg was 100% a real animal. Google image search to see how big its jaws and teeth were.

It puts the biggest, greatest white shark to shame. They think it preyed on prehistoric whales. Occasionally, people still find the teeth washed up on shore. Wow. So, yeah, the megalodon. Yeah. I mean, the Great Whale is barely big as a tail. Kind of looks like that movie poster. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty big. I'm glad they're gone. I wonder why he was fascinated with prehistoric creatures. J.S.,

it's almost like we suck the love out of it for him yeah he's like i used to be real into this you guys ruined it for him i wonder if he got married and he's like she made me throw all my figurines you know used to love that stuff i gotta hold on you should we had to move that we had to get someone to move the mega i had a megalodon life-size megalodon up in the attic we had to get it down i take the roof off to haul it out so just let it be up there it doesn't matter we're not going up there

Dogs dead 25. I've met the guy. I've met that guy who was out at sea and sued for eating his buddy. He told us all about it. He was hoping for a movie. Love the podcast. It's pretty brief. Well, dogs dead 25. He sent that to the Batesville podcast. Oh yeah. Thinking it was you. I don't know what he was thinking or she was like, well, it's dad. Okay. He was thinking, um,

But Batesville podcast was nice enough to forward it on. Batesville's killing it. Yeah. We're taking over. Aaron Land's getting pushed down. I know. I think Baitland maybe didn't make it. Oh, Baitland. I haven't seen it lately. Brian's nose is still. It might have been over separate. Brian's nose comments a lot of things.

More ways than one. Brian's nose is figured out. It's market. It's a commenter. Yeah, he just pops in. Pops in. Hey, guys. Hope everyone's having a great week. Nails something in a comment. Boom. Bouts out. That's what he's there for. He gets it. I was going to say, this seems like a very brief, like, oh, yeah, I met that guy. He wanted to make a movie about it. And then you're... He was unimpressed. Yeah, I would think there'd be a little bit more to it. Yeah. Like, how did you meet that guy? You know...

And sued for eating his buddy. How'd you meet him? Yeah. I guess that guy's talking about it at a bar. I guess we'll find out when we watch the movie. Yeah. Well, he was hoping for a movie, but then they were like, no. Because that's all they would tell him? Yeah, yeah. I mean, what would the movie be? You know, just a court drama? Did you eat him? You can't handle the truth. Cuts over, he's like chewing on his lawyer's hand. And we're like...

You're on. You're on. You can't. Two seconds. But he said he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't do the movie? He said he wouldn't need his buddy, so that would, you know. Yeah. You made the point last week. That's got to hold up in court. Yeah. I didn't say I would do it. I know, but then he eats his hand, the lawyer's hand. They go, well, that seems crazy because it doesn't mean anything.

David Ferguson, I found a message and bought it on the beach in Pensacola, Florida. It was dated six months earlier and left a phone number that happened to be to a town only 30 miles away from where I live in Kentucky. I called the phone number with some excitement, and the mother who answered said it was thrown in at a pier about one mile away from where I found it and then said nothing else. She did not seem to find any of the coincidence interesting.

I suddenly felt like a creeper, so I said, thank you, and hung up. That would be disappointing. Well, did he think he threw it into the ocean from Kentucky? No. No, but it's just, if you've, I mean, I've...

I was on the ocean this weekend. I've been in the ocean. I've never found a message in a bottle. So I would think if you called it, the person would at least be like, you know. And if that person lives 30 miles from here, they live in Murfreesboro. Yeah, you're like, oh, we can meet. You'd be like, here's the crazy thing. I live 30 miles from you. And you'd be like, do you want to meet? Is that the point of this? You did this for something. Yeah. But maybe she just is like, I'm over it. I give calls like this every day. I should have thrown it farther out. Yeah.

I took it as maybe her son did it since he said mother. Oh, right. And she's like, he's been doing this a lot. I guess. Like he's got to stop doing it. Everywhere we go, this guy throws bottles. It's like the fifth call she got that day. She's like, oh God. I just found a bottle in my pool. Ian finds it. Ian finds it. Yeah. To go. That's it. Right. That's it. Sure. Um,

All right, everybody. We are... Thanks, Eric. So I just got back. I was like, you guys. Got a little delayed flight. Changed my flight last night. Where from? Corpus Christi. Yeah. We met. We're going to post out some great shows at Corpus Christi. Got a little new joke out of it. Thought about Corpus just in the act. That's always an exciting weekend.

But there was a great club, Mesquite Comedy Club. And there's two Mesquite pizza places there, but then they just, the new one, it's great. It's a big room. It's a cool setup. We stayed at just a wonderful weekend. My tour manager, Travis, he found a, like we stayed at the Beach House, Port Aranus Beach.

I think it's like Arkansas, but no K. R-Ansis. Okay. I don't ever know how to say it. Arrhenius. I said that at one point. People seem pretty upset about that. They, no, I said it like, I remember our buddy Bart Miller came to the shows in the band Mercy Meets.

And, uh, but he said, I said, is it, I go, I think we're staying in port. I go, is it air airness or rainness? And he just goes, yeah, that's it. And I was like, well, he just wants me to say it. He's like, yeah, I think that's great. Just keep saying that.

But it was an awesome, awesome week. We had some people, which we were going to post a picture that I took. Some people made some Hello Folks shirts and had a bunch of stuff written on the back, like stuff that we've said on the podcast or I've said in my act. They all wore them. We had some other people wear some shirts too. So Let's Go Folks shirt, which was nice. A lot of people were listening to the podcast. A lot of people come out and they are excited.

Sam getting to meet them afterwards, and they...

My buddy, Michael Clay, that I started coming with, his friends Eric and Christina Lennon, they went to a wedding in Wisconsin, and they said they were big fans. So it's getting out there. That's cool. But the shows were great. We had an awesome—my uncle came and stayed with us, and my cousin, his son, Cade, just graduated from Texas A&M. He hung out with us all weekend. I mean, dude, Corpus Christi is pretty cool, man. You can drive on the beach there.

So like you drive cars or like we rented a golf cart and you can just drive the golf cart to the beach. You can drive up to like, there's parts of it on the sand, right? Oh, you can, I mean, there's parts dude, you drive, you drive your golf cart up to the beach and are your car. And then you unload everything. And that makes the beach a lot. It's usually the hassle of getting to the beach is that where you're like, Oh dude, we got to walk all the way down there. We got to carry all this stuff. And there at Corpus Christi, you're just like,

Drive up, park your car, unload it, sit. The water felt like bath water. It was crazy. I'm not the biggest ocean guy in the world. We learned that last week. Yeah. But it made it just super easy. It was just a fun, it was like a dude's trip. Dustin, my buddy Dustin Chafin, I started with. He was with us. So we played poker together.

I just started playing poker. I don't think I'm bad at it. Yeah. I kind of enjoyed it. You know, a lot of bluffing. Not bluffing. Who's bluffing? And so that's why we were up late last night. Texas Hold'em? Yeah. Yeah. And we were... Yeah, that's my voices. Just doing all the shows. And that club is a great club. And they run it. It's very nice. And they're...

And just doing all the, you know, I don't know, all the stuff that we did. And then also I want to shout out Bill Ingvall in that ring. He announced he's about to retire from touring stand-up. Really? Yeah. I saw he made a video about it. And he's got to, you can go look up Bill Ingvall's dates. But he's doing, I don't know how many more dates, some into the next 22. But this is like his final show.

man kind of run he's gonna he's gonna keep doing he's like start doing some acting and he'll do other things but like as far as touring on stand-up you know he toured for it was like 42 years yeah so crazy man it's like you know and it's it's that's what's always fun when you get to get with these guys because i've been lucky to know these guys so ingvall was uh out of that group out of that crew was one of the first ones i met and i went and opened for him and uh

And he was just, he's, again, they're all as great as they are. As you want them to be, for sure. And so getting to go out with him and it was fun. And me and him have kind of become friends. And so it's congrats, Bill, 42 years. I mean, you can only hope to get a dude to tour that long. Yeah.

I mean, then Foxworthy, Cable Guy, same way. I mean, you see them all winding down. That's when I talked to Cable Guy. I was getting a bus, a tour bus. He just sold his tour bus where you're like – it's fun to talk to those guys because they know where I'm at in my career, and they're like, oh, man, I know where you're doing this and you're ramping up. Ron White, too. Me and him, I've kind of talked a little bit more, but he's still – but he's out doing –

I think all of them were, but Ingvall. So congrats, Bill. That's cool. But it was fun. Yeah. I had a good, good weekend. Did y'all do good shows? Yeah, I was in Dayton. I was at the Saturday night, the Body Dayton Church, and it was great. A lot of folks came out. Is the church called The Body? Mm-hmm. It's called The Body Dayton. What body are they talking about? Well, I made a joke about how when they reached out, I was like, I'm sorry, I don't do strip clubs. Yeah.

But I think they're talking about the body of Christ. Oh, that makes sense. Makes sense. He's probably talked about it quite a bit. Yeah, probably so. Ryan Voorhees, one of our folks, opened it great. Oh, yeah. Sorcerer's Gorb did a guest set. Yeah. Miriam Gregory sang. No, it was great. It was a lot of fun. I met a couple who said that their YouTube handle was Brian's Mom. Remember we read a comment from Brian's Mom? That was them. That was them. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah.

That's fun. Unfortunately, not my mom, but it was a bummer, but it was nice meeting them. Yeah. That's cool. That's cool, man.

I headlined Charlotte Comedy Zone for the first time ever last week. Bunch of folks came out. Very cool. Then I did a run of shows with Henry Cho, opened it for him. People yelled, let's go, as I took the stage at every show I did. Every show there was somebody there. Let's go. Right when I walked out. You know what? I don't mind it with... I like that they do it because I had some let's go too. And, you know, it's quick and easy. It's an... It's almost...

So almost that could be the answer for this hello, folks, let's go. Like it's hello, folks, here when we're all in the preparation of this. But then the let's go when we're around is just like it's a joke. So we're all in on the joke and it's ridiculous. Yes. So we get to say it and go, let's go. And it's funny to say it because we're like making fun of it. But we're not going to say it every time. Yeah. So maybe that could be a pretty good answer to it.

Just a quick, let's go. Yelled out. Just funny. Right? Yeah, we got a lot of messages, people sharing history of Let's Go and how long it's been around. What we're saying is, you're talking about how long it's just become everywhere where you say it. I know the phrase Let's Go has been around forever, but you're talking about how just people use it in everyday life.

Which has probably been like the last year or so. Yeah. Where it's just all the time. All the time. Yeah. It's the, I think we're all in, we all see it. I was talking to another guy this week and I was listening and he was talking about Let's Go. And he's like, he goes, it's made it where I can't, that's all I, now when I see it, that's all I think about. And I hear it so much. And I was like, yeah, that's it, dude. They're saying it's so crazy. But that's why it's like, it's fun to be figuring out like how we do it. Let's go, like.

You know, sometimes it's saying, let's go, folks. Like when we meet, it's kind of fun because it's funny. Yeah. And then hello, folks, is our, that's our thing here. Yeah, for sure. So it could be leaning that way. Maybe we'll do the poll. This poll's going to come out of nowhere. It's been a while since we've had a poll. Let's throw another one out there. You know what else I think I could do? The new Krispy Kreme challenge. I got a new one. What's that? That I think I could do. Ice cream. What's the most ice cream someone's ate?

I ate so much ice cream this weekend. I mean, I was like, we were at the beach and I go, you know what? I'm going to eat ice cream. I ate it every night. Last night I had, I bought a little cookies and cream, Blue Bell ice cream, ate it. It was probably a pint. I ate it alone and then finished off maybe the bottom half of a half a gallon of chocolate.

And then had a little trouble falling asleep. Yeah, that'll do it. So the people who still reach out to us saying you changed their life when you got off sugar, you can stop that now, folks. Oh, yeah. We can squelch that. Did they? Fair to say you're back on it.

Yeah, and I need to get up, but you know what? I need to get back off of it. I have to get off of it. I do, and I will come back, and I'll let you guys know when I'm off of it. After the challenge. After the ice cream challenge. So the world record being ice cream. After you set a world record. She scarfed down 16 pints of ice cream in six minutes. Oh, you can beat that. 16 pints is a lot.

I would want to be like, what's the most, is there like a 20, you know, it's like the hurry. Oh, just straight up, like no time limit? Yeah. Just how much can you eat in one sitting? How much can you, yeah, how much can you sit? I could eat a gallon of it. A gallon, sure. Oh, you think a gallon is easy for you? Yeah. Dude, a gallon is not, we could all eat a gallon, I think.

What happens if you eat too much ice cream? Do you think you could eat a gallon, Brian? I don't think I could. Are you serious? A gallon of ice cream? I'm just like vanilla ice cream. You couldn't eat that down? I mean, I hope I couldn't. You'd do chocolate. That's the mistake you made last time, man. But I mean, it's deja vu here, guys. Have we learned nothing? I could eat five gallons without even thinking about it. Yeah. Episode one over here. Fine. I could eat. I can pound some ice cream, dude.

It's like all the records that I can find are with a time limit. Most ice cream eaten in a minute, one pound. Like that's the, that's the, you know, I'm a long game guy. Yeah. You're a speed eater. Someone said 16 and a half gallons in six minutes. Yeah. That's the Miko. Although the pint. No, it was 16 pints. Well, this is the same person. I think it was a different record. I think she's been at this for a while. 16 and a half pints in six pints. So 16 pints in six minutes. Yeah.

I would like to try it to see how many I could get done. I think I would just run out of time before I would. Like, they'd be tough to get to 16. Right, if you were told to eat. I don't think I would be full. I think I would eat. I would finish the 16 pints of ice cream, and then I would, you know, it'd be like, all right, you did it in 30 minutes. And I'm like, all right, but I still ate 16 pints.

After six minutes, they'd say time and you'd still be, they'd have to pull you off. Yeah. I mean, 12 pints have been in Jerry's. In about 30 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. This guy's impressive, Matt Stoney. He's a.

Great follow on YouTube. He does a lot of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, we talked about him during the Krispy Kreme Challenge. From hot dog champion to an ice cream guru. All right, we'll look at it. We'll look at it because maybe that could be the next one because I think I can crush it. I eat a lot of ice cream, man. What do you get? How many bags of Sour Patch Kids? Is that a record? We should do that one. Yeah. Yeah.

I could eat a ton. You got me on those. I've been eating those lately. Oh, man. Just, we got some over there. I always just grab a few. Yeah, someone pointed out that it's going down. Yeah. Oh, it is. It'll go down. Yeah, this is not like a set. This is being used.

In real time. Yeah. I mean, it's going to be wherever I send it to. I mean, people send me so much candy when I go on the road now. I mean, that's the hard part is you have to be like, all right, I can't. I have a bag of Sour Patch Kids I brought home. A ton of stuff. Someone gave me a sweet tart, like ropes. Oh, yeah. I ate the whole bag. And ice cream.

I mean, it's crazy, dude. I got to get, I have to get off this. I'm on a bad sugar. Yeah. Someone told me to read, there's a book or something you can read about sugar. And I don't know. It's sugar in it. The paper was made out of that. It's an edible book. You know, some of that bubble tape. And so I ate it. Bubble tape.

It's all written on that. I was like, well, why would y'all do that? They go, that's the point. You're not supposed to eat it. And I go, well, I ate half of it. Once you eat, once you read the paper, you just eat it. And I started just doing two. I mean, dude, one of those bubble, you know, the bubble gum that you pull the thing out. Oh yeah. I need one of those. We used to put those in our pockets. Cause it looked like you had dip on you as a kid. You thought it looked cool. Yeah. We were playing baseball. You'd always have one in your back pocket. Like the pros. It was cool. They, uh,

I'll buy the gum, the circle gum that you buy in the long thing. What's it called? It's got all the different colors of bubble gum. I don't know that one. Yeah, it's just in a long... Google it, Aaron. What's that? It's the main bubble gum that it's called. No, it's circle. No, but it's like 15 circle bubble gum that's like three yellow, three red, three green. Fruit Stripe?

Jumblo. Jumblo. I've never heard of this, man. What is Jumblo all about? This looks like something from Brian's era. I mean, that's like, I mean, yeah. Wash it down with some Bitto. It's those they give you where they're like, I'll give you a couple extra more. And you're like, all right, I'll do that. And then I'll eat all of those. I chew it and it lasts, I don't know, two minutes. And then it's just...

Like cardboard, and then you throw it out, and then you get the other one. And so I'll just eat them. You drive down the car, you just pound those in. Throw it out the window? Yeah. I got to get some new habits. I've never even heard of this stuff, man. Yeah. Big League Chew. I always want to get that when I see it. Oh, I get it. What a good time. You get Big League Chew? Oh, yeah. Actually, I have seen it here. Yeah. There's nothing we don't have. Like, I have...

When you come to our house, like you go to someone's house, you know, and you're like, they don't have, I have in Felix's house, some diet Pepsi. You have stuff stored at his house? I get, I get, cause you walk over there. You're like, we don't have soda. You're like, what are you? I mean, I want to lose my mind on someone. You go somewhere and you go, you got any, what are you going to drink? And they're like, we just have like water, some tea, unsweet tea. Come on, man. Where do you live, dude? We're in America. Yeah.

Do y'all have water? You ever store bottled water here? No, we have an refrigerator. Yeah. But I drink water. I'll drink at night. I have that 30 ounce water. I drink more water than you think. I believe that. Or than I think you would. Yeah. I believe that because I didn't think you drank any. Yeah. So. I drink more water. I bet I drink more than you do. Probably do. Is there a ring pop in this house somewhere? Probably. I just brought some home. Yeah. Yeah.

Because they gave me some of those and they were fun. I mean, those are for Harper. Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to think of an obscure candy. Two Things of Nerds. Nerds. Sour Patch Kids. It's all in my suitcase.

It's a separate suitcase. Just full of candy. It's like Kramer's briefcase. Oh, yeah. Crackers. And my mouth is like, there's just, you've got sores everywhere. I mean, it's just like, and I just fight through it because those sores go away. He plays for the love of the game. You just wait them out. They go away. And sometimes when you're like, oh, I can't be eating all this stuff. My mouth hurts. And you're like, it'll be all right. Tongues like sandpaper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I would get a sonic blast and they dehydrate me. I mean, I ate maybe three or four last week. And they can make me dehydrate and I want water. And I'll be eating it thinking, I don't even want this. And then I'm like, but I'm still going to do it. You push through. I push through. That's what the greats do.

You can't just show up on the days you want to eat a Sonic Blast. That's right. You've got to push through it. Yeah, that's when, like, you know, do I, like, I don't, like, you know, people have, like, stomach problems. They're like, I can't eat. Like, your stomach's going to just hurt too bad and you can't do stuff. I mean, I had a Smash Burger today. House that. Yeah. Got on the airplane. I'm not in a threat. My body is so used to what's going on down there. It's just a mess. Mm-hmm.

You can't confuse it at this point. It's ready for anything. It's whatever. This is one of the being in the mood. We went and ate pancakes this weekend and then drove. Within eight minutes, I had a Hawaiian ice of pancakes. I go, pancakes? It's Hawaiian ice? Might as well try that. Best Hawaiian ice I've ever had in my life. It was unreal, dude. This guy was...

This guy did it right. You know what I got? Orange, cherry, and grape. You might not think it sounds great. Orange, cherry, and grape. And it was so good. And then he pours it. He puts a hole in the middle and he pours it. And you're just never not out of the... You know, sometimes snow cones. Old snow cones. I mean, you're like, you have four bites and you're like, then it's just basically nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not here. I mean, dude, it was so good. Yeah.

So, I mean, oh. And you haven't even digested the pancakes yet. No, and I got a small one, and I was like, I should have got a big one. And the next day, I went and got a large one. And then I was like, I should have got two large ones. I could have eaten. I mean, I would eat it right now. I might go drive and get one tonight. They sound good, though. Yeah, they're good.

I have the money to do it. So, which is what we talked about. Segway into money. Yeah. That was nice. I respect that one. Yeah, I have the money to... I was going to read the list. I have Hawaiian ice money, dude. I mean, it's just... That's all I've ever wanted. Stop bragging, dude. I've got...

All you really want to do is just get to the point where you're like, how much is a fast food? You're like, yeah, dude, I'll take. I can mess up an order at McDonald's. Didn't you perform at like a Kona Ice convention? I did. Yeah. It's probably your dream gig. Yeah. It was a good gig. Didn't get as much of the Kona Ice as I thought I would. Yeah. They might be over it.

And you go to the convention. Yeah. You know, I don't know what they... That's how you ask to be paid? Yeah, they go in. It was a big convention. It was a big... The big reveal was Watermelon that year. So they brought out a guy in a watermelon costume, like, you know, kind of like the Kool-Aid guy, but he's a watermelon costume. The people went nuts. They go, finally. I was in the back by this old man, and he goes, I've been saying that he did this for years. Yeah.

A couple guys didn't care for it. They were hoping for peach. And I was like, they had a big argument about that. And then I did like 30 minutes. And then we, you know, we went home. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it's a big year. Yeah. So, yes, Money. We're talking about Money. Part 2. Part 2. We did... It's our first Part 2, isn't it? Well, yeah. I mean, we did two weeks of comedy. We stayed in a comedy Part 2. This is the first one from like... So, the Money episode was our third episode we ever did. It was our first one. It was like a specific topic. Yeah. Yeah.

I listened to it on the way home yesterday from Dayton, just so we wouldn't cover any stuff we did before. I just want to give you a little brief recap. How were we back then? Did you notice a change? I was worried there would be a lot of stuff we covered, but believe it or not, we veered off a little bit to some tangents. I meant just us as people. How were we back then? On the podcast? I mean, we were even worse than we are now. We made great strides.

Well, I mean, I think when I tell you what we talked about, it might help understand. Okay. Nate argued if Tom Cruise could buy a pack of gum. Not that bad of an argument. Right? We talked about if Brad Pitt could mow his own grass. Right. I think people, that was one of the first things people liked. I know. I know. He sat in the guy's lap. Yeah. Told him to turn. Yeah. Nate had a 30-minute rant on why we haven't solved cancer yet with all the money we're giving to it. Yeah. So what's the complaint? It should have been longer. Yeah. Yeah.

Still not solved. It's still not fixed, by the way. Yeah. You also talked about if Pablo Escobar earned his money more than Jeff Bezos' ex-wife. I mean, out of context, that doesn't sound good, but... And then you presented if you had a million dollars, a billion dollars, Aaron, if you could make a xylophone fit in your pants. And would you make the xylophone bigger or the pants smaller? Yeah.

I remember that now. Yeah. So those are some of the highlights. But since then, there's a new wealthiest person in the world. Oh. Did you know that? Over Jeff Bezos? Over Jeff Bezos. Elon Musk? No. Oh. Right now it's... Sam Smith. Bernard Arnault. Did you say Sam Smith the singer? I don't know. I just said two common names. Do you know the singer Sam Smith? Yeah. Yeah. Not much about him. But he's... He's doing well. He's doing really good. Yeah. Yeah.

Yep, he is. You don't know who Sam Smith is, do you, right? No, he's a singer. Okay. Do you know any of his songs? Are you about to sing one? Well, I was trying to think of... I'm playing it in my head so I can think of what it would be called. Okay. I'm not the only one. There you go. Oh, wow. There you go. There you go. Bernard Arnault. He's now worth $200 billion. Okay.

He owns... God, he looks like a guy who'd be worth that much, huh? He oversees about 70 brands. Louis Vuitton, Sephora, Tiffany & Company. They just buy up all the high-end companies. Yeah, this is the face I think of when I think of Sephora. Yeah. Right? He's gotten $100 billion richer since the first year of the pandemic. So things have been going well for them. Good for him, man. Been working hard.

He's worth $200 billion? Mm-hmm. And he's kind of flying under the radar, huh? Bezos is getting all the heat, and this guy is just sitting back. Think he wears a mask a lot? Why do you say that? I just don't think he wears a mask. I don't think he's... You don't think he's a mask wearer? I don't. Yeah. He's in France. He looks like that. Yeah. Yeah.

That makes sense. So Bezos is now second currently. I mean, they're going back and forth. What a loser. Bezos is currently second, about $190 billion. He's stepping down, or he stepped down from Amazon. Yeah. He's the CEO. He's still doing all right, though. Yeah, he's going to space. Yeah. Elon Musk is currently third. Mark Zuckerberg fourth. Bill Gates fifth.

So those are the guys you'd think of. What a fall from grace, Bill Gates, huh? Yeah. To be fifth, he was the number one my whole life. I know, but he's still fifth, and it's just like he can probably get back up there. If he wanted to? Yeah, it's almost like, I mean, like he's... I mean, number five is pathetic. Of the, I know, but it's... He's giving it away. He wouldn't even medal, dude, you know? Yeah, but I think you would look at it as, you know...

He's still the greatest of all time. Yeah. To be five in this, just to be like, he's been up there the whole for so long. This is like his Michael Jordan Wizards phase of his career. Yeah. Like, we all know he's still the GOAT. Yeah. He's just on the way out. You're still just going, you're still watching me play. I mean, he's the most famous out of all of them. Yeah. I mean, Jeff Bezos has become famous now. Yeah. But, I mean, Bill Gates, everybody knows Bill Gates.

And I think he's given a lot of his money away, right, to his foundation. I mean, I think he's not even trying to accumulate money for years. Like it doesn't matter to him. It's just sad to watch your heroes fade, you know? Yeah. There was some guy in Mexico for a couple years was the richest guy in between Bill Gates. El Chapo. Well, maybe. He was up there. He was up there. Pablo was up there. Pablo, for sure. Yeah, he was worth like.

$60 billion by current standards. Yeah. He lost over a billion dollars, they said, to rats eating his money. Yeah. Literally eating the cash? Yeah. Wow. And they just can't find some of it. Because you just run out of places to put it. He buried it and stuff. God. Ever heard of a bank? Yeah. He was, I don't know, did he go to the ATM? What was his ATM? Pop-up. I need like a 20 on me. I'll get it.

Just our tractor. Just go dig it out. He's just how much do you need? He goes,

Probably just 40 bucks. I'm just running to the gas station. He just digs it out real fast. And then they pull out 40 and he gives it to him. He goes, put the rest back. And they cover it back up. That was his ATM. I was thinking about him in the ATM at the store. There's somebody behind him. He's covering up his pen so they don't steal it from him. Yeah. He leaves their seat behind. It's a $60 billion. Checking account. Just did his checking. Checking account.

I wonder what has got to be the most money someone has just in their checking account. If someone's like, I got $50 million in there, and then they don't move it. Yeah. And you're like, I'll just leave it there. Yeah, I don't know. Is that it? I'm looking. I'll find it. Richest Tennessean, do you know? Haslam or something? That's a good guess because he's very wealthy. Frist? Yep. Thomas Frist, the Frist family. I was going to say Bill Frist. That's his brother. Okay. Okay.

It looks like most banks only insure your money up to $250,000. So it doesn't make sense to have more than that in your checking, it looks like. Which is good to know. I'm close. I'm close to that. No, I'm not. The youngest self-made billionaire is the CEO of Snapchat. Really? I thought it was the Kardashians.

That's celebrity, I think. Okay. Oh, there's a difference. Oh, youngest CEO. But she would be a CEO. You mean Chloe? No, not Chloe. Kendall? Kylie. Kylie. Yeah, but I don't know. She's not. Kylie Jenner? They're all doing well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's the richest celebrity. She's self-made, right? I guess. Technically, yeah. But she doesn't make no ways as much as this guy. How much is this guy making? He's now worth $14 billion. Yeah.

I probably wish he was like that. Yeah. What's Kindle make? A hundred grand a year? Just imagine if you're the one person in that family that's, you go, you just don't have it. You're like, you're getting cash on your face? All I have is 500s. All right, well, just give me. 500s. Just give them to me. I got 500s and twos. These are a bunch of $2 bills. The first self-made woman billionaire was Martha Stewart. Whoa. She's a billionaire.

Or she was at one time. Yeah. She lost it in jail. Did she go to jail? She did. She did. I don't know if this happened before or after she went to jail. She's 80 now. Yeah, she was down for every billion. Now she's only worth like $400 million as of 2020. That is a big loss. $600 million. Yeah. Just gone.

It's pretty crazy to lose $600 million and you're still doing pretty well. But when these people have billions, I mean, they're not... It's no cat. You can't even... Like Elon Musk, when I look today, he's lost $4 billion like today because the stock value of...

Tesla or whatever, SpaceX. So this money's all just kind of made up. Yeah. I mean, like they can't, what if like you go, that's not like a real regular, just a regular person just can get a billion and just go, I want it out. I want it. Bring it over to my house in cash. I don't know. To immediately sell all your stock and whatever. Get it liquid. It's not a bad, I mean, he loses $4 billion in a day.

How's your day go? Could have been better. Could have been. Lost about $4 billion. Yeah. But like you said, it's a made-up number because it's worth, according to Forbes, because of how well the company's doing. Right. Yeah. There's now 2,755 billionaires in the world. How many? 2,755. That's a lot, man. It is. That's a lot. Ten years ago, there was like 1,000.

Oh, okay. We're making more. A lot more. Oh, a lot more. Really fast. I think people are going to be, the amount of millionaires are going to be out of control. Do you want to guess how many millionaires are in the U.S.? In the U.S.? How many millionaires? A million. A million millionaires? That feels like a lot. There's 330 million people in this country. Yeah, you're saying one out of every 300 people is a millionaire? I mean, 2,500 are billionaires, which is an impossible number to get to.

Billion is impossible. It's just insane. And basically everybody's one. I'm going to guess 90,000. 20 million. 20 million millionaires. In the United States? 20 million households. Yeah. 20 million. That's crazy. That is pretty insane. That's pretty crazy. 20 million millionaires. So, yeah. 6% of Americans are billionaires? That doesn't seem right, does it?

6.6, yeah. That's not 6%. Yeah, that's 6%. That's .06. Yeah, well, do you guys know how percentages work? You move the decimal over two, and we got 6.666%. Well, why would you not just leave one of the decimals and just stay there for the beginning? Why is there a zero in front of it? Well, why don't you Google... This is the dumb math stuff. Why would they not... Why would they not just keep the... Why would they not say 6...

Google, how many? 0.6%? 0.06. 0.06 would be, wait, wouldn't that be 6%? 0.6 would be 60%. That doesn't even make sense. Google how many millionaires are in the U.S. Let's see if I read correctly. Now you're making me question it. 20.27 million. Crazy. Yeah. I had no idea it was that high. I feel worse about how I'm doing. I mean, who's not a millionaire? I know.

It should be a new game show. Yeah. Who's not a millionaire? Who's not a millionaire? Just pick the loser. Yeah. Imagine if you make 500 grand a year, it's like, ugh. I know. Get, watch him. Beat a loser. Just walk by my car. Watch him. Grab your keys. He just got in there. Hold your purse. What are you getting, a BMW? Lock it.

I got a Mercedes parked next to it. We were talking about that this weekend. Someone said, like my uncle said, someone bought a used BMW. And all the guys are like, whoa, how much did you get some money, huh? And they pull up in a lifted truck that's maybe $100,000. The BMW is the much more reasonable price.

Like, these people drive these big trucks. And you're like, dude, that's so much money. Right. To get a truck lifted up and have every, like... And does that serve any real practical purpose, to have a truck lifted like that? Or is it all just vanity? Is it all just... Well, I mean, I don't know how people want to know how cool you are, but... That's what I mean. If you drove in a regular dumb truck. So...

I think it drives over stuff. Some of them, I guess, if they're driving construction sites, you got to bounce around. But no, there's probably not. It's just cool. People like it. Yeah, those ones that are obnoxiously lifted off the ground. Very expensive. And everybody just accepts that because it's a truck that you're like, you don't think anything about it. But you see a guy pull up in a BMW and you're like, come on, man. Mr. Rockefeller. Here we go. And you're like, I couldn't even afford your truck. Yeah.

Rockefeller was the first billionaire. The first one in the United States? Yep. I think anywhere. You think? In the whole world? I don't know. They were looking around everywhere back then. Mostly just captained themselves back then. Yeah. Yeah. The top eight richest billionaires in the world own as much combined wealth as half the human race. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot of people, yeah. Combined? Yeah. Yeah.

But it's not cash. I mean, if you went to those guys and be like, yo, can you give me like 10 grand? He's like, dude, I can't. I don't have 10 grand on me. They could just say that all the time. It's all liquid. Or no, not liquid's good, right? It's all...

Liquid is you have it right there. You have it on. So how much money would they have? Yeah, I mean, you explain what they call a millionaire. It's not liquid money. It's your house, your... All your assets. Yeah, all your assets all added together. Minus your debts. Yeah. Well, that's like how many people you're going to make a million dollars in your career earnings. Like you added it up.

If you make $100,000 a year, well, in 10 years, you've been paid $1 million. Right. But you don't have it. But you don't have $1 million. Right. Right. But you've made $1 million. Yeah. Yeah, like you said, LeBron James is the first billion-dollar athlete who's still playing.

But again, he didn't make it all at once, but he's made a billion dollars in his career. Michael Jordan was the first billionaire athlete, but he's made more money since he's retired than even when he was playing. On shoes and stuff, right? Nike. Yeah, if he was here now, I mean, he would be. I mean, they're giving him $200 million contracts and stuff like that. I think their contracts, they were like $30 million. He would have made...

a billion immediately. And now these college kids are getting it. That's going to be really fun to watch. Yeah. Talking about like Peyton Manning's nephew is about to be a college football player. Yeah. And just the amount of money he's going to make in college. Well, I wonder if you're going to have guys that would have made more in college than they ever do in the pros. Might be. Because if they're like, say you're Baker Mayfield.

Right. Or no, Johnny Manziel, Baker's right. Johnny Manziel, you go to college, you make all that money. I mean, he got drafted, so he made a bunch, but I mean, he could have probably made, if you just kind of come in and fall out and you don't get anything big. I mean, there could be, I'm sure there's even college athletes that are very marketable, uh,

And they can't even make the pros. But they're the face of this team, which I always think that could help sell stuff. I always think that for Vandy to be like, look, you can go to Ohio State, but you come to Vandy, you're going to be a star. And so then if we – you can make a ton of money at Vandy and then like – because you can – because you'll be the most famous person we have. Face of the team. Sarah Fuller. Sarah Fuller. Oh, my God. The amount of money she could have made last year during all that.

Or I think about like Marshawn Lattimore. Was that his name? Marcus Lattimore. Was it Marcus? From South Carolina. Yeah. He was such a great player and then had injuries and never got to really make it in the pros. He had a brutal injury. It's one of those injuries that I remember seeing it. Yeah, yeah. Danny Warfel. Did he have an injury? No, but he just never really – He was a huge college star. Yeah, yeah. One of the people who think he's maybe one of the greatest college quarterbacks of all time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then he goes pro and then it's like whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

Like you draft in third round or something like that? Because there'll be like famous people that get drafted. Like everybody just knows this kid killed it in college. Yeah. I think he may still hold the SEC record for most touchdown passes for a career. But that Steve Spurrier year, I mean, that was just the system he was in. Yeah, yeah. There are –

Oh, he's second. Aaron Murray broke it. But yeah, he's second all the time. Yeah. Ahead of Peyton Manning, ahead of some other big names there. Oh, wow. It's crazy to think about that in the locker room of a college football team, there'll be kids that have the potential to be millionaires. Yeah. And then the walk-on kid that makes next to nothing. I hope that keeps them in college longer. I would love that just because I love college sports. Yeah. Keep them playing. Mm-hmm.

So, 2,700 billionaires in the world, only seven celebrity billionaires. Would you guys like to try to guess any of them? Celebrity billionaires? Yeah. Bezos? That's not a celebrity. Isn't he a celebrity? I mean... No, we're talking about like actors or... No. He did Saturday Night Live. Yeah. Okay, so like entertainers, stuff like that. Those people became celebrities because they're rich. Yeah, entertainers. Billionaires. Tom Hanks? There's seven of them. No. No.

They have to have some kind of line of something. Does it include athletes, too? It does. Tiger Woods? You know, I think I read somewhere he's made a billion dollars, but he's not on here. Michael Jordan? He lost a lot of his money at some point. All right, there's no athletes on here. Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Maybe I should just get started. Yeah, why don't you rattle off a few? We'll get rolling. Two of them were married to each other. Oh, boy. Oh, uh...

no bill and melinda gates kanye west kim kardashian they're both billionaires billionaires yeah independently from each other they're both billionaires they both got a line of clothing yeah yeah yeah uh jay-z and beyonce didn't mention beyonce but jay-z tyler perry uh he's got his own studio like solid movies yep oprah

Wow. Steven Spielberg. Spielberg is a billionaire? I guess that makes sense. He's been around. And George Lucas. Okay. He's the richest because he sold all the Lucasfilm stuff to Disney. 7.2 billion. 7.2 billion. Not bad. But I mean, do you have that money? Do you get it?

Do you get $7.2 billion? Like when he sold it to- Are you like, all right, I go buy an airplane for 100, you know, like, what does an airplane cost? $100 million or something? Yeah. If you go buy a real deal one and you're like, I want to fly on that airplane whenever I want and I want to go. And is it like, all right, I write a check for that and I don't have to worry about that? Maybe. If you have that money, I mean, that's where you're, yeah, you're doing whatever you want to do. Right. Callie Jenner, excuse me, what's the hype? Yeah.

Should I keep going? Yeah. Kylie Jenner was the highest paid celebrity in 2020. She was worth... She made $600 million in 2020. That sounded like a demon that didn't want you to say it. Yeah. I couldn't find the... I don't think they did comedians in 2020 probably because of COVID. Yeah. 2019...

Kevin Hart was number one. Kevin Hart, Sebastian. He was up there. Seinfeld was second. Gaffigan third. Trevor Noah and Sebastian. That's a good list. That was so funny. Sorry. That's all right. Only 8% of the world's currency is actual physical money. The rest is just digital passed around. Yeah, that's what makes you worry. There's nothing you can hold, so it could just all be...

It's all just going to go. What if something just goes? Yeah. And they go, it's not there. I don't see it. It's not on the screen. You're like, well, it was there. I know. And there it goes. It's not. That number just changes. That's the hard part. I was thinking about that this weekend. I was like, my ability to do things in the world all just depends on this number on my phone. Yeah. And I don't really know what that number means. I just know I have to get it up.

When I do stuff, it's lower. It's pretty crazy. I never see the money anywhere. I don't carry cash anywhere. I mean, $892 is a lot. So much money I think you have. I think that's what your net worth is. How much? $892. My net worth is way lower than that. I have a real big negative net worth right now. Student loans. Because of student loans. Yeah. Net worth is like negative. Negative tens of thousands of dollars. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll get it up. I'll be broke soon. I'll get to zero. One of these days I'll be worth nothing. There's approximately $11.7 billion in circulation in the U.S.,

So, to your point you made a year ago in the money, if one of these billionaires said, I want all my money in ones, they could take every dollar bill there is. Yeah. Go to the bank. Talk about a nightmare. Want to withdraw all in one split. Yeah, but that's where, can you even do that? No. They would be like, no, you can't have it.

Well, yeah, they clearly don't have it because it's spread out all over the world. Well, they call, they have to ask everybody. That includes like the... I think if you go to all McDonald's, we only take $1 bills. And you go, why is that? It gets a long... It's a long story. Bernard wants it back. He wants dollar bills. And so everybody has to... All right. And just has to go. We're going to get change. No, you can't actually. You know what's like a...

A surprisingly high percentage of dollar bills have cocaine residue on them in circulation. 90%. 90% have trace amounts of cocaine on them. Well, I think that's impossible to know. What do you mean? 90% have... According to this. Yeah. There's just no way that's to be known.

I mean, they do a percentage, obviously. Yeah, you do a sample size and then you make an inference. In places like Miami and some of the high drug areas, it's almost 100%. Because with the drug trade, when they're counting all the money, just residue gets on it. Yeah. So all the money comes from drugs.

And people are snorting cocaine through them. Yeah. That's what I thought. Oh, I thought that's because they were touching it. You think it's just spillage? You think 90% of these have been used to snort cocaine with? Yeah. So then it should be 90% has been up people's nose. That's the real story. That's the worst story is that. You know, 85% of dollar bills have been licked on and then put up in someone's nose.

It says it's dirtier than a toilet. Yeah. Flu virus can live on there for 17 days. Well, pull them out. The flu virus can live on that? Yep. How long can COVID live on it? I don't know. Still on it. We'll find out. You guys ever had a $2 bill? I have.

Yeah, a few of them. Yeah? Yeah. Some guy paid with merch this weekend with a bunch of twos. Darn. Really? I brought one. I thought I was going to be the only guy to have one. No, they're very cool. You can just ask for them, right? You can. That's what I did today at the bank. But a lot of places don't think they're real. A guy went into Best Buy and bought a car radio and tried to pay the $114 installation fee with $57 $2 bills.

Store manager was suspicious and called the police. They detained him for three hours in handcuffs. They brought in the Secret Service to determine whether the bills were genuine, but they were. Seems like overkill. I guess that's how you handle counterfeit? Yeah, I mean, but it seems like a B.O.I. is a Secret Service. Well, that's why they were created. It was for counterfeiting. It was created in 1865. They said maybe up to half of the money passed around back then was counterfeit.

What was he buying? Car stereo. I mean, I would think just give it to him. How much could it have been? $114. It was $114. He used $57 $2 bills. In the secret service. How much did it cost? To send the secret service? The secret service to go. To fly him out. Yeah. This guy could be a master counterfeiter. That's like a secret service. They're sitting there. They're doing stuff. Why did the secret service go? They tell the president, we got to go back.

He goes, hey, you're on your own for a couple hours. Why? He goes, I was a guy buying a car stereo. Best buy. So we get a drive over there. Parking's always a pain. We're going there and look at them. And we just held them up. And we go, looks like it's the real deal. Looks legit. And then he leaves. That doesn't.

Why would the Secret Service come? Well, like I said, the Secret Service, I guess that's their job. That's why they were formed, to look for counterfeiting. That's part of their role. We think of them as taking the president, but they have more than one job. I don't think the same guys are doing it. That's a weird two things to do. Well, I mean... I don't think Biden's guys are also doing this, marking it.

Mr. President, this is good. Not to a one. Not to a one. Yeah. Bold move to counterfeit $2 bills because that's a bill everyone's going to look at. Like the cashier's going to be like, oh, I haven't seen one of these in a while. Yeah. But then that's the point of it. Yeah. He didn't believe it. Well, I'm saying it would be dumb to have counterfeited a bunch of twos. That should have been his argument. Maybe it was his argument why he was handcuffed in the back of a police car. For three hours. That seems... A bit excessive. That seems like, yeah, what are you doing? Yeah.

How would they even, what do you call 1-800-SECRET-SERVICE? And go, we got a live one down here. You want me to try calling it? I'll be the guy in the blue vest. Just get on down here. They come down on their headphones. He's over here. Where'd you get those $2 bills at? The bank, because it's American money, dude. I don't know, you know. Why would I buy a car radio?

With counterfeit money. With counterfeit, you know. How many phone calls? It's an interesting question. How many phone calls is the Secret Service away, do you think? I think it's five phone calls away. Like up the chain of command? Before you get to them? Yeah, the police calls, whatever that. For them going to Best Buy, they might be answering their own phones. You might get to them quick. I don't know how. I don't see how the Secret Service should ever have made it to this Best Buy. There's just no possible way.

That counterfeit $2 bills are that high of a threat, and it's happening so much. Maybe it's a new guy. Where's the phone number? Yeah, this is the kind of, if you need immediate assistance. You need to call the Secret Service. Counterfeit notes should not be sent to this address. So if you get counterfeit money, people are sending it in, I guess. But that tells me that's a big part of their job if they're putting it in their newsletter. They have a newsletter? Their contact info. Their monthly newsletter. Yeah.

Just letting you guys know what we're doing. We went down to the Dollar General this past week. We found a guy. Trying to buy cat food. Trying to buy cat food with a $4 bill. And so kind of raised our suspicions. So we went down there and looked at it. Turns out it was right. And I never knew that there was a $4 bill. So we learned that. Yeah.

The average lifespan of a dollar bill, you want to guess? How does a dollar bill die? It just gets worn out, torn, lost. Okay. Have you ever retired a $1 bill on you? Not personally, but I read that the U.S. Mint prints like 90% of the dollars they print is to replace lost money. Yeah. Interesting. My answer might be I don't care. Yeah, I figured. I'm sick of this.

6.6 years. Oh, wow. But a $100 bill, 23 years. Yeah, you'd hold on to that a little more. Yeah. Yeah. It's always when you have a $100 bill and you've got to be like, can you make change? And it's always in there like, and then they go, we don't. I mean, everywhere you go, they're like, you're taking everything I got. You're like, well, you're a full-on business, and I would think that you should have more. He's supposed to pay cash. Yeah. And they're going, I don't know. I like cash.

Are you happy with the denominations we have? Yeah. You are? Yeah. You wouldn't like anything different? $3 bill would be good. A $3 bill? For what? I think fivers are great. You would like a $15 bill? That'd be nice to have. $25? It's weird that we have 20s and not 25s. 20 is the most used bill, it said. Why not? I don't think so. Okay. Why do you need a $25 bill? You got a 20. Because four of those is a hundred. A hundred. Do we need pennies?

You got a $50 bill halfway there. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So it doesn't work up an even increase? Yeah, but I think you get stuck. You're trying to think when you pay for something. I could see $2 bills make sense to me. Like a tip better than a dollar, you just give them a two, and it feels a little more. You think a two makes more sense than a 25? Yeah, for tipping. Okay, all right. Tipping is just a little extra.

You go up to the bar. I guess I'm tipping more than you did. $2. You give them $25 bills. If I had a $25 bill, I'd give it to them. Yeah. It'd be fun. Have you ever gotten a torn bill and you worry that somebody's not going to use it? Yeah, sneak it in with another bill somewhere else. That's how you pass off money. You just kind of put it in and figure it's like, well, this is McDonald's problem now. Yeah. Yeah. I read that as long as 51% of the bill's still there, it counts. Yeah. 51%.

So you could rip just a quarter of it and they'd have to take it. I bet you're going to get an argument with the guy. The cashier won't be happy. Or so you could take it to the bank and they'll give you a... They'll exchange it. Oh. They'll exchange it. I mean, that's another step. Places don't have to take any money, cash, from you.

What do you mean? Like they could just say, we're only doing credit cards or we don't take nickels or something like that. And legally they have the right to do it. They don't have to. I guess we've seen that. I just never thought of that. Like the Seinfeld episode where Kramer pays in coins and they're like, we can't do that. Yeah. That's their right. Takes about, you're going to love this one. 4,000 double folds before a bill will tear. Yeah.

4,000? Yeah. What do you mean a double fold? Fold it over and then fold it over. Okay. Do you want to do it now? Start now. All right. I think maybe watching that could be a little more interesting to listen to this. Have you ever done Cameo? No. I get asked a lot. Yeah. Will you do it? Probably not. Yeah. They've asked a bunch. I'm not against it.

but it's just not something that i would do i've made i make videos for people and i just make them when i if i can make them i will make you a video uh to say something i get asked a lot so i don't get to do a ton of them i don't you know it's hard to try to do it but i try to i try to do some but i'd rather just do them here and there you might go through a service you've bought some right i have purchased cameos before for friends they're fun yeah i got one for uh

Tito Ortiz for my buddy. And then I got one from Rachel Dolezal for my friend Brad. And they got up to be quick. They were hilarious. It's a very funny process that you go through. You write it out word for word. Tell them, you know, have fun with it. And then they do it. Crazy. My buddy's company just bought the social media app Yik Yak. You know Yik Yak? I remember Yik Yak. I guess it was popular a few years ago and then it died. Yeah.

Well, it relaunched today, and they got Brian Baumgartner. Is that his name? Kevin from The Office? Yeah. To do the announcement. Okay. And I said, did you go through Cameo? And he said, no. He went a lot through Cameo, so we just went through his agent and got him to do it for a lot cheaper. Really? Yeah. Yik Yak was... Have you heard of Yik Yak? No. It was popular for a few months, I think my senior year of college. It's anonymous Twitter.

but you can just view all of the yik-yaks in your area. Like a five-mile radius? Yeah, I think you can set the radius. But imagine the problems that causes immediately. Like on a college campus, people just anonymously saying stuff. It was horrific stuff being said on there about people. I mean, a lot of it was hilarious, but it was like you just knew it couldn't last. I'm surprised that it's still around or getting revamped. I think it died, and then now it's back. Mm-hmm.

Wow. I don't. So you're saying stuff about each. It's like local. Yeah. It's imagine it's almost like digitally just shouting something in the area anonymously. And then everybody can see just anonymous little blurbs being said. Yeah. Like in the area. Yeah. Like there's a fire or, or yelling at some girl stuff. It was stuff about girls was being said. Yeah. It was just, there's a pretty girl right here.

And then you go... You don't know where it is. You don't know where it's being said or who's saying it. It's just blurbs about stuff. It's like letting you stuff that's going on. None of it was useful. Like a very local Twitter. Yeah, a local Twitter anonymous. Yeah. And that's the key is that it's anonymous. So people are saying awful stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what they always say. Like if you just made people have to use their real names, that would solve a lot of stuff. Mm-hmm. Because no one's going to say anything when they...

Exactly. You're not going to post horrific stuff on your LinkedIn because it's tied to you. I think it finally made people create a user profile. That's what kind of made it die, I guess. Oh, really? Well, they probably ran into it. I can't imagine how bad that was in high schools. Yeah. You know? It's crazy. The most expensive cameo right now is Caitlyn Jenner, $2,500. And then there's some as low as like $5,000. $2,500. I mean, that's, you know...

Oh, Caitlyn Jenner. Now all the money goes to the Caitlyn Jenner Foundation. Oh. $2,500. So guys, if we all pitch in, if all the folks get together, we can have a new intro to the podcast. Do you remember how much you made your first comedy gig? I do. Yeah. What was it? I made $7. Did a show at Dino's in East Nashville. Chad Ryden show. Yeah. Yeah.

I made $7. I couldn't believe somebody gave me $7. I was blown away by it. It felt like a million dollars to me at the time. Yeah. You know, what's yours? $50. Seven was the blown away. I couldn't believe I got paid to do stand up. No, I get that. I mean, I didn't like freak out or gasp. Yeah. You got $7. And then imagine if I get up to $10.

If I could just get to $10. If I could get to $10 and I didn't do 100 shows a year, $7 is such a weird number. Yeah. Well, it was just what was left. Like tip money? Yeah, it was just cash. Yeah. I remember a girl reached out to me through MySpace.

and said we're doing a christmas party our company's doing a christmas party at the wild horse saloon and we're looking for a comedian to do an hour and i said i don't have an hour but i've got three other buddies we could each do 15 and then we went and we met with her boss whatever's putting on and she's like how much would it be he said two hundred dollars total and

And she was blown away about how little that was. Should have been her first sign. Maybe we weren't that good. And then we went and did it. And it was upstairs in a private room. But there was a band playing down below. So the music was just thumping through the walls. I just remember it did not go well. I was kind of so embarrassed I was even there because this girl hired us. How long have you been doing mics and stuff or taking classes? Six months maybe. Okay. Okay.

I mean, I mean, what? Well, that's good. I mean, I mean, all right. I started, I took comedy classes. Would you open it?

I don't remember the order we went. But I remember it wasn't good. Was anybody a couple years in? No, it was all four of us that took the comedy class. Well, we took the class in January, and this was a Christmas party. So we'd been doing it almost a year. Yeah. But we weren't good. It'd be hard to do now because of just the setup, the music thumping through the walls. Yeah. I wish you would have done a full hour. Yeah, I'll do it. At least I was smart enough.

If you came back now, would you still say $200? But you go, it's going to be just two of us now. I did. I mean, I did. Why did you not say $300 until you each get $100? I think I thought I was overpricing myself. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Which I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Six months in, $300 is...

Very overpriced. I mean, I would say three or four years in, I got hired to do some shows in Kansas. And I did charge like $250 a show. But that's all the way in Kansas. And they couldn't believe. Like, what? Yeah. But again, when they saw me, they were like, all right, I get it now. It's hard to give a number. They go, that's high. Yeah. After they watch you, they go, that was too much.

That's the one where she said, we're going to have an Easter show here in a few months. We want to have you back. She told me that before I went up. Yeah. Because she had to drive me to the gig. And on the way back, she never brought it up again. She never mentioned it. Yeah. We might actually cancel Easter this year. Yeah, we're not even going to do stuff. Yeah.

We got employees quitting. Yeah. We don't celebrate Christian holidays anymore after this. Well, it's tough. You don't know. I've done it. It's awkward when somebody says, what do you want for this? And there's no frame of reference. You don't know what their budget is. What do you remember yours? I don't know if I remember one where I got paid. Do you remember a paid gig where you're like, I don't really even deserve this? It's over my head. Yeah, yeah. I mean, everything. I mean, that first college gig.

That poster right there where I did it at Belmont. You got the MySpace URL at the bottom. I love it. Yeah. And then that one, I think I got $1,000. And that's what I told them it was. I didn't really know what to tell them. And I think I told them, I think it was a college. So I think I, you know, and maybe they could, you know, but you're always like,

$1,000? I go, I don't know. If they came back with $100, I'd probably still do it. But yeah, I remember a ton of that where you don't know what to say at all. You don't know what to offer. Because that's one of the hardest parts is going like, what are you supposed to get? I think I knew at that point $1,000 was what you should get if you're doing it.

It wasn't crazy for like, that's what they should be paying for college. But yeah, I mean, there was a ton of gigs. I mean, yeah. I think I got, I want to say I won $50 in a contest once and that was crazy. And I took a picture of the check. So, I mean, yeah, I was very impressed with money. Yeah, yeah. $1,000 is awesome. Yeah, that you get paid that is insane. Like, you're like, this is nuts, dude. Like, I can't, I mean, I said it this weekend. I can't believe that even this weekend was like, you're like, you just get paid.

To come do this, it always feels like a sham. You always think someone's going to figure you out, and then you're like, this is not, this is ridiculous. You shouldn't be doing this. What was your first minimum wage? Or what did you make your first job? $425,000. $425,000. $425,000. $725,000. I remember I lobbied for a raise. I got a raise to $750,000. I was proud of that. $725,000 is still the minimum wage. Uh-huh.

Yeah. So crazy low when you think, I mean, I almost got paid that much of that show. Oh, yes. Seven bucks.

I have your MySpace up, Nate. Do you remember now? You have your top eight, but you only have four. Do you know who your top four were? I don't know the last time you looked at your MySpace. It's probably been a while. Yeah. Top four people? Can you guess? You know you have your top eight on MySpace? Yeah. You've got four on there. You think of who they were? Three of them you still talk about quite a bit. I'd never heard of the other guy. Nick? Yep. Nick Novicki. Sven Wexler? No. No.

Dustin Chafin? Yes, he's your number one. Rich Ranovich? No. Rondell Hartley? Oh, yeah. And Big Jay. And Big Jay. That's your top four. It's still up there? Yeah. It's just a shell of it, but this is in Flushing, New York. Is that where you lived when you were doing that? Yeah. Look at that. How about this old pick, man?

It's not even loading. Is MySpace still a thing? Yeah, it still kind of exists, but it's all been distorted. Rondell Hartley. I remember Rondell, he grew up in New York. He never had his driver's license. He was the first person ever. I think at that point, he didn't have a driver's license. He had an ID, and I was like, what do you not have? He grew up in New York. He's like, where would I drive? What am I doing? Never needed to. Never needed to drive.

Is there something today that... That's why I'd wear two shirts, too. Do you have shorts on or anything? I have shorts on or any of those jeans, rubber bands on my hand, and two shirts. And I always like the bottom shirt to hang out a little farther. Pugashell necklace, too. I'm wearing HGS. That's my Hunter Delivery Service shirt. It came straight from work, probably, for that set, right? No, I'd wear it just like... Look how skinny I was. At that point, I really was...

uh-huh that was a good picture yeah it's a boy do you get your first like great picture yeah stage it's a big moment yeah you gotta have a lot of shadows like i got they just do the right angle and you're like well that's gonna be the one for you yeah i just had one that i thought was great and i posted it and then somebody if one of the folks took my shot and like blew up my head like and put lol underneath it and i was like

Why is it LOL? And they're like, you look like a cross between Smeagol from Lord of the Rings and something else. Yeah. It hurt because I thought this was a really good picture. Those are the ones that hurt when you think something's good and people are like, no. Well, they go low. That's the hard part. When you're on stage, sometimes they go low, they go sideways. Right. And then it gets too much. Yeah. It's not a good picture. I was going to ask where we go. Is there anything money-wise that you –

think is ridiculous how much like why we pay for something your parents would never pay for they would say water yeah that's what I was thinking water

Yeah, but you buy water like it's nothing now. I mean, that's... But I mean, I guess... But back then, were people not drinking water? Like, where would you get water? Just from the faucet. Just water fountains. Water fountains everywhere. Or just straight from the faucet, right? But if you're... Yeah, but I mean, if you go like... Like the airport or something. Yeah, if you're at the airport, like, were you just going into the bathroom and filling up... I mean, did they have just cups? They had water fountains, I guess. Yeah, water fountains. Yeah. Yeah, so like... Yeah, water. I don't remember a ton of people with water bottles. Like...

reusable water bottles back then. People just not drinking water. I don't know. They had cups. I think you drink it out of your hand. I think you would do that. You just drink it out of your hand out of a sink. At the airport. You ever see someone just taking a quick bath and you're like, all right, dude. You're like, just... When you see someone doing that, what have you been flying for 15 years, dude? Get it together. Where is your...

Just put some deodorant on. And then you just see them in like the bathroom. They're like, you know, and you're like. Shaving and stuff. Shaving. You're like. Get a hotel. What do you go home, dude? Do you got like, you're at an airport. You're a business guy. Yeah. That's a lot. I think on the opposite end, I think like gas. I mean, I noticed gas prices, but if it's $8 a gallon, I'm still going to pay it. Right. Like you got to have it. I mean, I guess you'd visually get the point now where you'd just buy an electric car. Mm-hmm.

But gas can be whatever it wants, and you're probably still going to pay it. It's an inelastic good. Yeah. It's a what? Inelastic. What does that mean? It means the... Yeah, exactly what you said. You're going to... Because you have to buy it. The price doesn't... Inelastic. The price doesn't change the demand. Inelastic is good? It's like insulin. People need insulin no matter what it costs. But if candy bars were $100... Would you buy a candy bar for $100? It depends on the candy bar, maybe. I would buy... If I saw one that was $100, I would be like, well, I need to...

I need to see what that's all about. But there's my taste. I don't have expensive taste. Like I can like nice things. Like I like the things that I like. I want to do, have them be the best that they can be. But I'm not a, like, you know, if someone's like this chocolate's like a hundred dollars, I don't have that taste to go like, oh, it's the greatest. Like I would still be like a Snickers would have been, I would have preferred. Yeah. I chocolate ice cream.

Briar's chocolate ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. And you'd eat 16 pints of it in 30 seconds. That's going to be the next Krispy Kreme challenge. I think I can eat a lot. Yeah. I think I could take you. Out of ice cream? Yeah, 100%. We could do just to, if we can make our own, just to see, go pound for pound to see who could go longest. Are y'all both way in? Yeah. Look, I've learned my lesson. I'm not going to throw out numbers or predictions, but I am confident.

I would out-eat you in anything, especially ice cream. Yeah. We can do, I just got back from home, so Harper, say hello to everybody. Hi. How much ice cream do you think you could eat? A ton of it? You could probably eat the most? I had ice cream today and lunch. They get ice cream. She gets ice cream when they get, because you go to the line, and you can choose healthy or ice cream, right? And what do you always do?

Should be doing healthy. Who do you think could eat more ice cream, me or your dad? Brian? Bob Ripplepants. Bob Ripplepants could do it. Because she watched the Krispy Kreme Challenge. And he ate the most Krispy Kreme donuts.

I didn't eat the most, but I met over exceeded expectations. You exceeded expectations. Yeah. I think I could be, how much ice cream do I eat? I have a ton. One time to my best, I thought it would be a funny, we had vanilla and chocolate ice cream in the refrigerator. And so I was going on the road and I knew she wanted the chocolate ice cream, but we had chocolate syrup too. So I knew we could just, I can mix it. Cause I'm really good at mixing the chocolate syrup with ice cream.

So right before I leave, I eat only all the chocolate and left just the vanilla. And someone was not happy with that. You don't like vanilla? She didn't think it was funny. She didn't think it was funny at all. But she was funny. She didn't like ice cream. She's never been a big trier of things where you got to try this. She's like, no. And when she was three, I'm like, eat this ice cream. She's like, no, no. And I just...

plopped it on her lips and then she goes okay i'll take more i'll take all of it now i've created a monster with ice cream and we are problems so is that it yeah if you throw a penny off the empire state building will it kill someone i would think so unless they have the same velocity of a squirrel yeah it would kill somebody right i don't know no the terminal velocity the air would catch it oh would it even hurt

It might hurt, but it's going to get caught in the air. You'd look up, right? Yeah, you'd look up. Yeah, that's... Would you even notice it? Would you even notice it? Yeah, you'd notice it. You'd feel it hit you, but it wouldn't kill you. Yeah. What about a quarter? I don't know. I didn't look up quarter. Half a dollar. What about a dollar bill? No. Oh, I forgot to mention, I got my Facebook back. Oh, there you go. It's great. Very excited about that. Yay. Yeah, thank you. Yeah.

So that's August 27th, 28th. I'm in a gutties comedy club in Greenwood, Indiana, which is just, just outside Indianapolis. Oh, pitch that. Yeah. Come out to gutties. Awesome. Tonight. I'm headlining Zany's. Brian will be there too.

Thursday, August 19th. Headline in Huntsville. Stand up live. Brian will be there too. Come see two-thirds of Nate Land. Or maybe... I don't know if that percentage is accurate. That would make us all equals. Two-thirds. Yeah. We're not all equals, but that's two-thirds. That's what I mean. Yeah. You're two of the... Two of the three people. Two guest stars. Come see the discounted version. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Yes. Thank you, everybody. Sorry, my voice is...

I'm very tired. We had a long weekend. I had kind of a bit of a travel day today. But yeah, and the next week will be, I think, a replay or something we recorded, have a prerecorded episode because they will be going to do something. I don't think we've talked about it. But we will give you Brian and Aaron have a fun little thing that they're going to do. For sure. And so we're going to talk about it when they get back.

from that so we will see you then thank you everybody goodbye say let's go folks goodbye folks

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.