#57 Alaska
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Hello, folks. And that doesn't mean that there's been a decision made. I'm just doing it that way to start it. Welcome to Nate Land Podcast. As always, I'm with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates, Nate Bargatze. Welcome, everybody, to the podcast. I did hello, folks. There's been a lot of people still, you know, figuring it out. When's the revote?

I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to let anyone. No one's going to know. It's going to be when I decide. It's going to come out of nowhere. And it's just going to pop up and be like, this is it. And I'll announce it. I don't know when it's going to be. I'm telling you, I like, you know, we talked about it. I lean to, I like the idea of hello, folks, and the response being that let's go, folks. You know, when the person mentioned that with our buddy Greg Garcia, who's just starting a new show.

He said he likes that too. Like the response. He thought that well when he heard the comment. He's like, oh, that's what I think too. The response to it in the wild. When we're out in the wild, it's hello, folks. Let's go, folks. Okay. I like it. A call and response? A call and response. But maybe it's just going to be let's go, folks. Maybe it will be you decide what you, it's pick your own adventure. You do what you want to do.

Okay. What if it's HelloFox? I think I've accepted that we'll never pick one. And this will just be, it'll be a constant debate. It'll probably always be HelloFox. I mean, that's... Yeah. There's not enough... I think we may have to go underground. Yeah. My Let's Go Folks movement seems small. But I will say, I get tagged in...

so many things of people saying let's go now you're getting those just i didn't realize how much of an epidemic this was oh it's bad and now it's just uh it's all i hear tom brady the other day did some video him yesterday throwing football and he said let's go yeah well i if you can throw a video if you go football like he did into that

You're saying he deserves it? Yeah. To me, the let's go with him is like an athlete is like, let's go. You're on the field. Like the greatest of all time, you can say it. People are saying it, you get a shopping cart that's not got a squeaky wheel and you go, let's go. And then you're, finally, I get to get around this grocery store and not be a nightmare. And that's when people are saying, let's go. And that's the guy that should be stopped. You got to go, okay, you can't do that. Yeah.

It's like, you know, if it stays in the athletic world, that's where it belongs. You can't be, you know, working at McDonald's and, you know, fries get done quicker than you thought. Let's go. All right.

You get to go. Your boss manager goes, hey, you close that ice cream machine a little bit earlier tonight. Let's go. Which maybe that would be a big deal. They don't have to clean it. It's four o'clock in the afternoon. Hey, go ahead and clean the ice cream machine. Let's go. And then they go clean the ice cream machine. So maybe that's where the problem is with these things is that the let's go. Tom Brady...

That video, I guess it's real, right? I guess. People are saying. I mean, it doesn't seem like I think they could do that. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. It's pretty, if anybody hasn't seen it, he's just in those, if anybody knows football, they have those two wheels that spin and shoot a football out and the guys catch it. So he throws it into it and then it spits back to him and he catches it and then throws it back in it. It's pretty crazy. Three times. Three times. But I could see it.

When he went back, but I mean, those guys are, that's how good they are. But I mean, would it just, if you barely miss, I feel like it's going to knock it out. Probably wasn't the first take. Yeah, I mean, even if he did it for hours. I mean, it'd be very funny to go try it and then be like, oh, it's actually unbelievably easy.

Like if the wheel, he just spins the wheels. Sucks it in. Well, if he spins the wheels the other way and you're like, well, you can't not not make it. Like it's the hard thing is to make it not stick in there. How do you find that out? Yeah. That would be, if I was, if you wanted to get under Tom Brady's skin, they should, like another quarterback should be like, and just like have his baby throw it in there and go, just because you haven't seen this. No one's seen that. No one knows how real, like,

You know, if someone makes some crazy videos, sometimes you could be like, yeah, just no one knows what that is. And it's a very simple thing. I don't, I have no example though. Well, I had never seen anybody try to do that. So you're right. You're right. It's like, who knows how hard that is. I'm hoping that it is hard. It looks hard. Yeah. So it looks impressive. I'm not saying I'm not impressed by it, but it would be funny if you're like, dude, everybody. Didn't he post a video recently of like nailing three long putts in a row?

I haven't seen that, but that doesn't surprise me. I was really impressed with that. Yeah. Well, Phil Mickelson made a bunch of putts, which was 10-foot putts. It was like everyone he made for 10-footers was like whatever money on that match, the tournament that they played in, whatever money would go to a charity. And Phil, they just kept setting a ball down, and Phil just kept hitting and makes –

I think every one except the last one. So maybe made 20 or 15 in a row. 10-foot putts. That's crazy. Yeah, it's insane. And just to be like going just that repetitive where none of them slide off in the last one. But it was like kind of the last time. I mean, it's pretty wild. What would that be comparable to in basketball? Like a 30-foot shot? I mean, probably just –

I mean, you know, I was going to say like free throws if you make 10 in a row, but I mean, they can make. Oh, yeah. Steph Curry could hit threes forever and not miss one. Oh, forever. But you know what I mean? Literally, yeah. I think he could make a lot more. 10 in a row threes, I guess. I mean, 10 feet is not long, but it's, I mean, putting's hard. Yeah. But if it's a straight putt, that guy should be, Phil should be able to make, if you're at that level.

You should be able to make these. That's what it should be. How many in a row did you hit? I don't, I mean, 15, 20, something like that.

uh you should be again maybe you go try it and you're like oh it's actually yeah you find the right putt that's when you go to like dick sporting goods you go sporting good store and you let them you can practice putt yeah i swear our golf galaxy their holes on the practice putting green i think they lean in because you'll be trying to putter out and you're like you just drain like 440 footers

And you're like, this might be, I have to go buy this putter. That's like the male version of Skinny Mirrors. I was about to say, yeah. Did we talk about that on the podcast? Is that where I learned about that? Skinny Mirrors? Yeah, the mirror. Seinfeld. TV show. I don't remember. I know the show. Yeah. Is there an episode about that? Yeah. Okay. Elaine tries on a dress. Okay. In a skinny mirror. In a skinny mirror. But I think for women, that is what shopping is.

I think that is something that department stores do. What were you talking about? I was talking about, yeah, you go to the dressing room, you think you look great, and then you go home and you look like garbage. How do they make a skinny mirror? I don't know if they do that. Like a funhouse mirror. You've been in a funhouse. Well, I mean, that would be, wouldn't that be pretty obvious? Like that you're going, you're just zipped up. My head's huge. You go, my weight is, I need to put on some weight. And then you're delusional. Then you go, I'm going to go eat. I look...

Malnourished. Yeah. My head is huge. My head, by the way, gigantic. Yeah. I think you just dial that back a little bit. Whatever that is, you just dial it back just enough. I mean, I have a hard time thinking that they could have the lighting and stuff, I think, make you look really good. I don't know if there's skinny mirrors. I think there are. You just know it. Your only experience is from this show. There's skinny mirrors? Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah.

It leans different? Oh. Oh. It's at a little bit of an angle. Yeah. And so then you're like, oh, I look. Yeah. Wow. So the bigger the angle...

That's how big you are. Big girl walks in. Give us two seconds. You hear, a construction guy goes in. He's like, like a dolly. Hold on real fast. Ma'am, two seconds, all right? And she walks in. Come on back. Just banging, like hammering. And then she goes in. God, I look unbelievable. That mirrors. There's a team back there with ropes. Hold it. Hold it.

Guy's sweating. Easy fella. Easy. It's just like, like mission impossible. When he goes, they can't touch the, they're behind there holding that. Just sweat. Like, and he's just letting it go. It goes, she's almost died. And then she goes, I'll take it. And then she walks out. Boom. Everything falls. What was that? Nothing. Nothing. Let's, let's, let's ring you up real fast. Hold it.

All right, psychology episode. These are the comments from the... Didn't someone tell me not to do that? And then someone said yes. You said someone said that, but I don't think it was us. I think it's good to do it. Yeah. I feel like someone said don't do it, and then people were like, no, you should. We're juggling three different episodes this time. Yeah, we got a lot of comments. It's been a while. I feel like I haven't seen you guys in a long time. I know. It's been a couple...

Three weeks, I think. Three weeks. Yeah, three weeks. Yeah. We're talking about all the stuff we did. But let's first talk about you guys. Meg. Psychology episode Meg. My husband was not a fan of the pod, but I dragged him down to Nashville anyway. And he laughed so hard the whole time. It was awesome that Nate's wife greeted us at the door and the guys met with the crowd afterwards. Thank you for the much needed comedy therapy. Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, we did meet and greets. And I think... I mean, I think everybody stayed, which was cool. Yeah. Laura's gifts were a big hit. My wife passed out gifts when they came in. I don't think people knew we were doing the year anniversary show. So they were like, oh. But we, yeah, passing out those gifts. I know we mentioned it twice, I think, in the episode. Because we talked about it to two different audiences. And then we put together those shows. But it was, yeah, it was a big hit. It was a good time.

Abby Tilford, it was so painful to hear y'all talk about Pavlov's dog and never mention the cold open from the office where Jim basically does this experiment on Dwight with his computer noise and Altoids. Yeah, I do remember that episode. How did we forget that?

I was thinking of it. I don't know. Oh, that counts. Sorry, Abby. Aaron was thinking of it. What's even worse? Yeah. Should have mentioned it. He was, Abby should have known that one of us was probably thinking it in our heads. Bryce LK. I was hoping little Albert would come up. I've taken a few psychology classes and that's always stood out because I'm pretty sure that's how you create super villains. If I remember correctly, it was a nurse's baby and,

that she had to bring to work and a psychologist would experiment with him either under the guise of helping to watch him or just sneaking in the experiments when mom wasn't around. Worst babysitter of all time. Yeah, it's terrible. My babysitter, when I was a kid, she would smoke cigarettes in the... Really? Oh, yeah. Would you go out there with her and smoke? I'd take a hit. Yeah.

She'd light mine. She'd give me mine. She'd light hers off, her next one on, and just give me her half-smoked one because I was a baby. I can't smoke the whole thing. And we'd sit out there and watch the construction workers go by. Boys working on the stoop. But that was like, you know, so when I was – I mean, I think I was a one or a two. I was in – my parents had to work. They just had no money, so they –

Just found somebody? I just found somebody. This lady, I think, just kept a bunch of kids and would be like, can we give one more? And she's like, yeah, sure, absolutely. And throw them in. And I just got thrown in the mix. And she would just smoke in the house. I mean, can you imagine? Can you imagine? In the house? Oh, yeah. It was her house, right? It was her house. Still. I feel like that was probably more acceptable. Oh, yeah. In like 80, 81. I mean, it wasn't even...

You wouldn't have even, you would have maybe not wanted me to be a baby to be around the smoke just because you don't want to, because you smell like a cigarette the whole time. I don't think you're thinking of the lungs. You're not thinking about the actual health. Like the health of it. Yeah. I don't think any of that was on the table then.

I mean, I think my mom said she walked in one time and was like, all right, where's Nathan? And then the lady was like, I don't, you know, like it had to find me. I was like under the couch like a cat. Playing with the ashtray.

I mean, that was, you know... I've been... I talked about cigarettes a little bit. I like, you know... I mean, you shouldn't smoke. If you don't smoke, don't smoke. But when you see an old-timer still smoking, I'm kind of like, all right, good for him. Some guy in his 90s or something? Yeah, just hanging on. You're like, you just don't see it too much. And you're like, yeah, man. Like a veteran's hat on? Yeah, yeah. You're like, that guy's earned it. That guy's... Yeah, he got grandfathered in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can't be new and smoke. That's crazy. All right, yeah. But if you're old...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've got the good cigarettes. This is the opposite of good advice. But no one's here. This is where people are going to tell their kids, just do everything they say that's cool. Opposite of that, you'll be in pristine shape. You will be the healthiest human being alive. Connor Smith, the test about delayed gratification has recently been disproven in multiple other studies.

The quality of home life and the financial stability of the kids' families were overwhelmingly the determining factor in the success of the children tested. It's amazing you have to do a test to determine a good home life might lead to more success. Really? Yeah. I don't remember. That was the cookie. The marshmallow. And then if you wait. 15 minutes. They said the kids that waited had higher ACT scores and stuff like that. Yeah. Well, that's just such a long story.

like you do that test and you're like, all right, let's see what happens in 18 years. Like it's that long of a, you know, and then you're like, did they do better? And you're like, they did. All right. You know, I don't know. And then it had to do another 18 years to disprove that study. Yeah. It was eight after 18 years. He goes, I don't, that doesn't make sense. And the guy's like, this is all I've been working on for 18 years. Yeah.

Well, he did 15 minutes with one cookie and two cookies, and then he puts it away. 18 years later, he comes back. All right. Let's see how we did.

And the ones that took the stuff slap him. He goes, that's what I would think out of you. Next. That's how he goes. Yeah. He marks it down. Figures. I don't know if you remember, but he took the marshmallow a little earlier than everybody else. And that shows. And he's next. And they come in polite. And he goes, oh, you were one of the... You waited. You waited. This guy's been busy. The scientist has been busy twice. Psychologist. He had two big days.

He's late for both days. You're like, you only have to work two times in 18 years. And he goes, I know, but it's...

If he makes me be late, it'll be me because I just forget that I have to be in that day. Is Weiss furious at him? Yeah. Still not going? No? No. No. I picked. What if that is? They go, all right, you got to spend your time on a, if you were a psychologist and now you got to pick one thing to do. And this guy was so smart, he picked this. So he's like, I don't, I mean, just the sweetest gig. So I have one hectic day when they're like five.

And then 13 years later, I just see how they do. Hectic, baby. Really? You're just handing out cookies? To five-year-olds. And see if they take it or not. But if your days are... I'm a little swamped today. If your other days are zero... Yeah, then that feels like... Anything's a hectic. That's the Super Bowl. That's the Super Bowl. And then you go, all right, you mark on a calendar, 13 years, 9 a.m. You have a calendar with 13 years ahead. Oh, yeah. He has to. Yeah.

Yeah, he has to. Eric Kindred. The Stanford Prison Experiment was a joke of a psychology experiment, actually. The doctors skewed the results by doing things to make them act the way they did. I wonder how most of us still remember it as a legit experiment when it's been long since proven not to be.

I guess I'm not helping that cause. Who decides if it's a legit experiment? Eric Kindred? I guess it came out later. The whole idea of it doesn't sound like it's a good idea.

Oh, yeah, of course. I mean, it sounds like a nightmare. Yeah. That's what he's talking about. Yeah, just the idea that they shouldn't be doing it. But I think some of the students maybe later admitted that they faked some of their – just because they knew that's what the teacher wanted. Yeah. Stuff like that. And you're having to act like a prisoner. And so you're like, well, how can we get this moving along? Yeah, exactly. And so you ramp it up a notch. Yeah.

What you would have to do, because the other, that actually makes a ton of sense if the experiment is actually nothing. Because that means Stanford students are so stupid.

That they can't, that this guy goes, he gets into Stanford and then you go, now you're a prisoner. And he goes, I don't know how to act anymore. And then he just becomes a lunatic. Like, I mean, you would need to really like lock them up for a month or something. And I mean, they really, they can't like, they can't leave. They didn't do that. Right.

They let them leave or something? No, I think it was supposed to be a two weeks where they're supposed to stay. I mean, over a couple hours. It's like when Dwight pees in the corner of the elevator. Immediately? Immediately. Yeah.

He just thinks one kid. He's got to establish a P-corner. Yeah. That makes a ton of sense now. You ever see that show 60 Days In? You ever see that? No. Where they send regular people into prison and just see if they can last 60 days. And then there's this guy who was like a school teacher, and he was talking so much smack. He's like, this will be no problem. This will be like a vacation. I get to just read books. Yeah. He immediately got put in solitary confinement within like two days for

causing trouble and he just had to stay in solitary confinement it was hilarious he turned so now we have a TV show about the Stanford prison experiment essentially I mean that's but in a real prison but in a real prison even that I question did I not do that for television

What's he doing after two days? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how much is fake and how much is real. Can you just do anything on TV now? I guess so. Now you can just be like, hey, what if we shot a guy? Yeah. What if we hunt a human on TV? And I mean, some networks like, all right. I mean, if it's, you know, pay-per-view, I think we could do it. Sign a waiver. I mean, just sending people to prison. Yeah. Yeah.

as just a fun so people can sit and eat popcorn and watch at night it's a fun show yeah yeah it's pretty entertaining

Where is it at? A&E, I think it was on. Oh, that's, yeah. It's coming after Bordick. That had A&E written all over it. That was A&E. That's what they're about. A&E's just. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Finding just the mess of people and then just hoarders. And then just exploiting them. Yeah. And it's a good time. Yeah, it's a pretty good. You enjoy it, don't you? No. Jennifer Weiss. No offense, but I'm 100% sure Nate would be one of the guards beating students. Yeah.

And the students would definitely be Brigadoon. Brigadoon? I think that's right. She's saying you get on board really quick with it. Yeah. I just change character and now. Get back. Get back.

Bethany Mix, my best first date story involves a guy trying that 30-second question. I stare a bit on me. He tried to play it off as something his roommate who was in school for psychology wanted to know. I had happened to read an article about it before that date and knew what he was up to immediately but didn't let on that I knew. Three hours later, after he had asked all 36 questions while sitting in a booth at Topgolf,

not hitting golf balls. This is like a new story. We walked out to the parking lot to our separate cars and I was wondering when the eye contact would happen. He asked me to sit with him in his car. I couldn't say no knowing what was coming and wanted to see this thing through to the end. So we looked into each other's eyes for four minutes inside of his hard top convertible while I was internally dying

dying of laughter i uh politely left immediately after neither say we are not married and there was no date number two i'm not sure what the valid date validity validity validity validity validity sounds a lot funner yeah you know

validity I bet if you gave validity a choice it would choose valididity because it'd be like I'd appreciate that like that's a little more and you know your validity he goes come on man because no one cares about validity let me be validity that's like that's validity his son valid too you don't say valid yeah so he goes valid he goes perfect I'm validity and they go no your validity because that's stupid

Of the claims that those questions make you fall in love, but they sure do make a great story, date story. I think Bethany sounds like a fun girl. I was going to say, she's like a comic. Yeah. She did it for the joke. I love it. She's like, yeah. It's crazy, too, to think... She's like, I just happened to read an article about it. And so they're going to Topgolf. It's like on her phone. Yeah. It's just so kind of crazy to be like... You're just... She's like, I was on my phone and I saw... Like, you just wouldn't... Before the internet, you wouldn't see that. Right. There's no... Like, in my head, I almost...

If I'm thinking this is an old story, it's crazy that you realize that people dating have only had phones. Bethany's like, oh yeah, I was just on my phone. That's all I've ever known. I did it all. You did the old fantasy football league dating where you have to go check the newspaper every day to see if she's going to call him back. Look at the box score to see how the date went. Did you ever do a speed dating at all? No. So you didn't do it all?

Well, I've been the old way before the phone and the new way with the phone. What was it before the phone?

Just had to call people. Cold call? Yeah. I just go through the phone book. Yeah. Hello. Hello. This is Brian Bates. Hold on. Before you hang up, I want to run this by you. I did like George Costanza selling the computers when he and Lord Brian were in his dad's garage. Yeah. Did you like my computer? No. Why not? Okay. That makes great sense. Yeah.

What would you do online dating? But once it started online, what would you do before online dating? Either friends would fix you up or you go to bars or stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But there was like. Just kind of sidle up to somebody. Just walk around. It's also. Well, I didn't. Yeah. He just out in his parking lot. Wait till they walk out. And then Brian gets out of his car. Excuse me. Runs up to him. Sidle him. Yeah. Yeah.

Hi, I noticed you inside. And they're like, and this is when like Jeffrey Dahmer's like rolling. Like, I mean, it's like, that's how, I mean, that's how he, you go to a bar in Chicago, wasn't Jeffrey Dahmer? Like, I think he, I've been to the bar where he would sit and watch people. I think there was classifieds though, where like. You would, yeah, call. And they put the, yeah, Seinfeld has that where she wrote her. Well, that's the, on the. Speedo? No. When, uh.

I don't know. It doesn't matter. But yeah, that is, yeah. Did you do fantasy football where y'all did the box score, right? Yeah. I've been in a league for 26 years now, same league. And when we started, you literally had to go through the newspaper and tally it up to find out. Who won? Yeah. For like the first eight years of our league, we did that. So you're just watching the games. You have no idea how well you're doing. I mean, you're trying to keep up with your head. Yeah. Yeah.

There was something great about the box score. There's something great about waiting the next day. Obviously, it's better, but I looked at some box scores this past weekend to see what's happened. Usually, going into Monday Night Football, if you have a guy, you know what you need. You know what he needs to do. Yeah, that's funny. Discovery episodes. This is the comments on that. Neil Curran. Curran.

Did we read his? I took a class in college on accidental discoveries. The class was called Serendipitous Science. Nice. Nailed that one. And it was pretty rough. True story, at the end of the semester, the professor pulled me aside and told me endearingly that I reminded him of his late son. I thought that was nice until my grades came in and I got a C-.

So maybe the guy didn't care for his son. Maybe so. I guess that's the story. Maybe some is very average. Yeah. And that's it. But he goes, I thought I reminded you of your late son. He goes, yeah. And he would have got a C minus as well. Y'all both put in about the same amount of effort. And my son's a loser. Yeah. Yeah.

Phil Towler. My favorite episodes are the ones where Nate gets exasperated by the topic or generally where the conversation is going. The Discovery episode is a perfect example. When Nate said, are we done? And Babylon Brian Bates comes back with Velcro. I was in stitches. The lack of direction is what makes this gold, Jerry. D. Mary. Or Marie. D. Marie. D. Mary.

M-A-R-I-E. It's Marie, isn't it? You nailed serendipitous. I was like, this guy's getting better. He's getting good. Marie tripped you up. D. Marie. D. Marie. That's a good name. It is. D. Marie. D. Marie. I bet people think that's her first name. Yeah, it's like a... She goes, I'm D. Marie. And they go, oh, what's your last name? No, it's Marie. And then it's just... I bet her whole life is like...

You know, just frustrated. It's just how many times you have to explain that your whole life. So D, let's stop. Let's walk into another room. And then you walk to the person, last name Marie. That's how much separation you have to put it in. How you doing? My name's D. Follow me. Let's go in here. Talk about something else. How's the weather? Where you from? Marie. And they go, oh, it's that. So it's two names. I am a special education teacher in Michigan. And Nate, you are a true role model.

It is inspiring to see an adult who has learned to read despite possibly having dyslexia and never knowing you had it. Sadly, it may be more common than we think. PS, light colored printer paper or colored overlays is a known strategy for dyslexia. Larger print may also help. You're going to see me reading one comment that's like, I'm a special educated teacher in Michigan. And Nate, you are a true role model.

model like that's how big the print gets is every it is in spy whoa i just can't yeah stack of paper this yeah all different colors yeah you just can't see you finally can see me on camera just coming in and done

Nailed everything. You ever see somebody make it a speech at like a wedding or something and you're like, God, this is going on so long. And then you see like they have like 10 more papers coming in. You're like, oh, no. Oh, man. That's the...

When we talked about that, when someone says, I'll get to that. Yeah. I'll get to that later. And you're like, oh, no. There's going to be a later. There's going to be a later. We're not even to that. Yeah. I've heard someone say, I'll get to that later. And they get to it pretty quick, which is kind of funny. Yeah. You're happy that they get to it quick. But then it's like, that's not later. Don't say that. Don't be like, I'm going to get to that later. But right now, all right, I'll talk about that. And then they get into it. And you're like, well, just get into it. I think people put that stuff in there because that's writing out

a speech. So when you write out, it doesn't ever sound, you write much more like professional, like you, you don't talk like that. Yeah. Nobody does. Nobody does. And so that's what I always learned with writing comedy. I didn't like writing it out word for word. Cause when I write out for word for word, I would have like a lot of jokes in there.

And I remember even thinking like, oh, these are all good jokes. But then if I try to say it like that, it was like, this sounds terrible. And even the joke is funny written. It's not funny when I say it. But you can put more jokes in because when you look at it, even like when I do a snide show and you got to type out your set for the lawyers.

So they have to, like for standards and practices or whatever, so they have to approve it. Like you sit there and you'll be, I'll be like typing my set out and A, you see, I'll say like a lot. And so you see how many times you do that. But you can then be like, oh, maybe if I added a joke here and you're like, no, it just doesn't flow like that. You're like, it doesn't work like that. Mike Wilson, I'm a podiatrist.

I don't know. Podiatrist. Podiatrist. That's how that's spelled? Yeah. Wow. How would you think podiatrist is spelled? A maybe? Podiatrist? P-A-D? Podiatrist is bad. I was hoping you were going to say what it is and it would be something I'd never heard of. That's where I was at with podiatrist.

I'm a podiatrist. Okay. You wouldn't go to that guy, would he? To a podiatrist? Podiatrist? Podiatrist sounds so much better. Yeah. I'm a podiatrist. You're like, oh, this guy's a pretty good podiatrist. And if you're like, my uncle's a podiatrist. What did he? I don't know. I think you can't. The only way to become that, you can't go to college. You go to college, you're already out of the running for being a podiatrist. Yeah.

I'm a podiatrist, and yes, the gold standard for diagnosing gout is taking a joint sample. And I fully endorse Nate jabbing a needle into Aaron's foot for science. We'll do it. We'll do it. That's a real scientist. Doctors said that. Podiatrists. According to Seinfeld, that's not a real doctor. Yeah. What did he say? Didn't Elaine date a podiatrist or something? Yeah, no. It was the skin doctor.

He dated a dermatologist. Yeah. But didn't Elaine date him? Yeah. Did she date a podiatrist or something? I don't know. And she didn't like it because they didn't consider him a real doctor? Yeah, I don't know. Okay. Jess Gay. Nate taking the quiz off the internet reminded me when Michael Scott was performing an intervention on Meredith and asked, have you ever questioned the teachings of the Mormon church? It's a great episode. Yeah. All right. 1980s. These are the last ones.

Eric Barden, this podcast needs a disclaimer that says don't listen to this podcast if working out. I was bench pressing when Donnie said he got an autograph from a high school basketball player during the 1980s episode. I lost it and dropped the dumbbells, nearly crushing my chest. This isn't the first time. I dropped a barbell on my foot during a previous episode out of pure laughter. I don't do abs on Wednesday because of how hard I laugh. It's very nice. I mean, almost got it.

killed, but I appreciate it, Eric. And you still fought through it. Teresa Brown. I was about 14 when Dallas was a big show in the 80s.

My parents did not allow me to watch it. I made a case that I wanted to watch that show, and they said, if you talk to the pastor about it, and he said it was okay, then I could watch it. So we go to church and talk to Pastor Tim, and he says that he watches it every week, so I finally got to watch Dallas. Victory. That's pretty good. I mean, to know to do that at 14, to make a case. That's funny that the pastor was like, yeah, I love it. I mean, that was like a nighttime soap. Yeah. Yeah.

yeah it was a pretty big show but they're just it was a huge show like it was the number one show yeah you know but there was a lot of i mean it's not that risque now but at the time yeah like it seemed like oh there was it was like were you allowed to watch it yeah i mean well i mean he is he was just graduating college i mean what are you talking about he didn't live at home nobody tells me what to do about dallas at that point yeah yeah yeah

My parents had, if I wanted to see a movie, they had like two families that they would call and just see like, what are your thoughts? Are you letting your kid do this? Yeah. And I could always be like, it was the Glomboskis was their name. And they wouldn't let me do something. I'd go, well, Josh gets to do it. And they're like, oh, okay. We'll let you do it. So your parents just kind of got lazy enough to call them. Yeah, they just trusted that family. Yeah. Trusted you. They trusted you.

And then they got lazy about calling. Oh, that is, I never thought about that. Yeah. They did trust me a lot. I guess you figured out what the thing was. Sometimes they would call, but I'd never lied about that. Oh, okay. Cause yeah. Sometimes I call and verify. Yeah. Yeah. Well then, but if they trusted you and they knew you weren't lying, you said, Josh is doing it. You, you know, cause they could, I think a lot of parenting is, I would be willing if your dad was like, yeah, I never really called, but he called maybe enough.

That you're like, well, he will call. Yeah. So then he knows like... That's probably what it was. Yeah. Can you think of an example? Remember something? I wanted to see a movie called Kangaroo Jack. With Paul Hogan? This was the...

I don't know. It came out in the early 2000s. Is that the one you're thinking of? Fairly recently. I remember my parents had some Catholic website where they had reviews for movies and how inappropriate stuff was. They wouldn't let me go see it, but Josh was getting to see it. So they called and they go, you're letting them go see? What'd you read about this movie? That's the kind of investigative work they do. Get to the bottom of that. Uh...

He asked for an example. I know. I know. That was my fault. Yeah. Just a quick one. Maybe filter it out and go, the example's not that good. David Locke. It sounds like Nate has a problem with people enjoying movies that he doesn't like. Yeah. There you go. Perfect timing. There you go.

It's a ride on. It's enjoying... What was that about? That's about your 30-minute rant about Marvel movies. Oh, yeah. In the 1980s episode. Yeah. We had two or three on board with you. Finally, someone said it. And about 50 that was like... Furious. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, sorry. No, people love that world. I get it. It's like Star Wars. It's like all that. People love the, you know, enjoy. You were talking about how redundant, repetitive everything is. And then at the end, you're like, they should make a new Iron Man or something. Like Transformers. Yeah, Transformers. I would watch all the Transformer movies. Yeah, I don't. You don't have to listen to me. If you like Marvel, I get it. I get the idea of it. I guess you're on a journey with it. It's fun. If you're like,

Well, they all like it. Yeah. There's like 20 something movies that all led up to Avengers Endgame. Like they were all tied in in their own way. And then the payoff was that final Avengers movie. Yeah. And so now it's done. Yeah. I mean, obviously they're still making Marvel movies and they're trying to find ways to keep it going. But for, from Iron Man, the first one up till Endgame, 20 something movies later, they all tied in. Man. How do you remember? I don't know. They're very good. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe that's, maybe I don't appreciate it. Maybe I need to go through it at all. Is that Spider-Man too? Iron Man, Batman and Iron Man. Like, did they ever cross paths? Batman's DC. DC. Yeah. So that will be the next big trick is if they can get DC. They team up with, they team up. Have they ever had that happen?

I think, I don't know, maybe in the comic books. I mean, those are two different companies, so they're probably not. Or maybe people created their own scenarios where DC and Marvel fight each other. There have been crossovers in comic books in the 90s, but nothing in the movies. Yeah, so. I mean, DC tried it now with Justice League. That's their version of Avengers. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

But that's not, but that's their... So they're a team. Yeah. But I mean, like you need, so Spider-Man's Marvel, DC is Superman. So you need them to meet. Yeah. I mean, they all live in the same city. I don't know how they're not crossing paths. There's a lot of stuff online about... How are they not, you know? I mean, how are they, they live next to each other.

They don't just see Spider-Man's whipping around and Batman's like, I know he's more of night owl. Yeah. He wasn't good. Superman's working on the newspaper. Yeah. It's not covering these Spider-Man stories. Peter Parker was when he had newspaper photographer. Yeah. They probably are on the same story. Yeah. Maybe that's why. Uh,

You know a movie I watched that I think I was on board with? Glory. No. This is why I don't listen to me when I talk about Marvels. I don't know what I'm talking about. Madea's Witness Protection Plan.

Tyler Perry. I watched the whole thing. Yeah, was it good? Watched the whole thing on TV. I let it get a little bit ahead so I could fast forward through the commercials on Bravo. I was completely on board with it. The whole thing. I loved it. What's it about? What's the plot of this? What do you think it's about?

I'm going to guess Medea has to go and witness protection. Actually, not true. Actually opposite. Oh, she has to bring in people. She has to bring in people. Oh, yeah. And it's like, you know what? I was trying to think like, why do I like, why am I, I'm watching it, you know? And I'm like, I don't know. I just enjoyed it. And, uh,

And I feel like she's very, or Medea, Tyler Perry. But Medea is just kind of like, you know, she's talking like the youngest daughter, Eugene Levy's daughter is like a spoiled brat. And she's like, dad, I hate you. And Medea's like, oh, she said it. I hate you.

to her father. He's like, Medea's whole thing is I'm about to punch this kid in the face for talking like... And I think it was like that. It was like that's almost like you miss that kind of politically incorrect...

kind of, you know, like the Medea as a, you know, they, I feel like with Tyler Perry, like an older black lady can just be like on this, can be like, you ain't gonna talk to your father like that. Like, like they still have that. Yeah.

very funny way. And now like all this other stuff is like, you can't say that stuff about kids. You can't, if your kid talks back to you, it's your fault. You can't do this stuff. And it's just a very simplistic way of just being like, I'm going to spank you. It's like an old, you know, would be an old hacky joke, but now it's not because you can't do that stuff anymore. So then for some reason it was like, I enjoyed watching it again. Like it felt like, you know, when did they make that movie? I don't know when they made it, but like, it's like, it's, you know, it's just like very old school.

2012. So maybe you could say that. It was a different time. It was a different time. So it was almost like that's what I enjoyed. Yeah. And that's what I was like, I liked seeing that. I get that. When I watch stuff with Lucy, I get furious the way kids talk to their parents in some of these movies. Yeah. And I go, does anyone talk to their family like this? Maybe now. I've never seen it.

Yeah, I don't know. But it's like that. Like, you can't talk like that. Yeah, the kids, like, run the house. They run the family. They cuss in front of them doing drugs. It's like, golly. Yeah, I think that's what made me like it. Like, it was, you know? We watched...

Ruth had never seen Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Yeah. We watched that this weekend. I feel like that holds up. Oh, yes. It's still very good. John Candy is so – I know we've talked about it on here. He's so good at it. Yeah. It's like Ted Lasso to me. He's very positive, and you just want to like him. Yeah. You see season two of Ted Lasso yet? Not yet. Not yet. It's out, though, everybody. Season two, Ted Lasso. Mary Ellen Goodwin. I was glad to hear Nate say he was not allowed to watch The Simpsons. I would have let my kids watch it either.

I'm nailing talking about something before the talk. Yeah, you are. And I'm not even reading these until that's just really worked out. Kendall Eden, imagining Beachbody with his

nkotb shirt new kids new kids on the block shirt on in high school honestly made me think i would have been one of his best friends i always tried to uh i tried to go out of my way to be nice to the weirdy the weird nerdy kids that nobody wanted to be seen with oh my i'm not saying i would have hung out with the guy or anything considering obviously he's a loser i'm mad i'm mad yeah uh second

Oh, yeah. Maybe it didn't say that. You know I have trouble reading, dude. Or even considered him one of my friends. I just think he would have considered me one of his best friends for talking to him. I like the honesty in that about Kendall Eaton. The honesty that Kendall, you'd be like, all right, so y'all would be friends. He's like, no, obviously not, dude. He's a loser, but I would let him think it.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I probably have some of that. You probably have a, yeah. Like that's, that's like very honest to go like, no dude, I would, I would let him wear my shirt with my face, which he might do. Cause he would ask for autographs of children.

I had a few people say, man, I felt sorry for you in high school. I actually love my high school years. People weren't as mean to me about that shirt as they should have been, quite frankly. I mean, people are actually pretty understanding, considering. Yeah. And I had fun in high school. Our 30-year class reunion is this weekend. Are you going? I'm going to be out of town with him, but I'm on the committee. I prepare everything, but I'm not going to be able to be there. It's actually our 31, but last year got delayed because of COVID. Yeah.

Well, let me read these and then I'll talk about that. So, yeah, this week, well, I mean, I guess we're kind of just catching up. You know, we haven't been here. We haven't got to talk to everybody. So you're not going to the big reunion? No, I mean, I would like to, but I also...

Wanted to do these shows with you and Leanne. Yeah. Me and Leanne Morgan are going to be in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. That show's sold out. And then Tupelo, Mississippi. We're doing an arena. There's tickets still available for that.

So you can go to my website and see all that stuff. All that stuff we added an Opry to the third show in Nashville. That's crazy, man. Two Oprys and a Ryman. Said only me and Johnny Cash. Only two people have ever done that. Really? I don't know.

That sounds good, doesn't it? Sounded awesome. Sounded awesome, didn't it? I was like, yeah. No, you know what? I'll be honest with you. Johnny Cash could never do it. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah, Johnny Cash wish he could have done something like that. I don't know who's done it. Yeah.

I'll be honest with you, I don't know if anybody's ever tried. Garth Brooks sold out 50 Bridgetones or Titan Stadium. So yeah, we added that. We've added some other shows. It's all going out. But I feel bad that you're missing your 30-year... Do you see these people kind of regularly anyway? I mean, I see some of my closest friends pretty regularly. How many people did you graduate with?

It was about 325. How many are alive? 14. Only 14. Man, Wendell down. Well, a lot of y'all had to go to war. A lot of them got drafted right out of school. Can you believe that? You know, I was... We should talk about this in the 90s episode, but...

When the Gulf War happened in 1991, I was the age where if there was a draft, I would have been drafted. That war would have been a lot different. Were you worried about it at that point? Not really, but there was some talk about having to do a draft or something like that. There's not much talk. I don't know. There was a lot of talk about it. Some talk, I said. It would come up. In the Lebanon...

Then they saw the guys that were the age and they were like, no, we're definitely not doing the draft. Let's just try to do it ourselves. What if we go younger? I always thought I almost, I wish I would have joined the military. I almost did. And which I got to go over and do shows overseas, which was nice because I felt like I got to do something.

But if I would have joined, my fourth year would have been 9-11. Like, I never would have got out. Yeah. Like, you know, it's kind of, you just start, like, so I was 18. It's been kind of crazy. Your fourth, your last year that you have to serve, 9-11 happens. And you're just like, I mean. Wow. You know, it could have all been different. Yeah. But, yeah.

Aaron, any wars happen in the year? Yeah, there's a lot of wars going on still, right? I was never worried about being drafted. Culture wars. Yeah, the war on Christmas. Yeah, you guys get your feelings. When was the first time your feelings got hurt, Aaron? Aaron, tell us the first time you remember hearing a mean word said to you. I do remember that. Do you? No, not really. Can you remember the Iraq War?

Oh, yeah. I remember my dad woke us up and we all watched George Bush at the desk saying we're going to war. He's like, we need to watch this because he knew it was about to happen. Yeah. And I was too young to even understand what that really meant. I guess I was 11 or 12. What time did y'all go to bed? Yeah.

What do you mean? When did he make that announcement? What time was it? It was in the morning, right? I don't think it was in the morning. Oh, so you'd already gone to bed that night? I think he woke us up. Yeah, well, it was like 8 or 9 p.m., but we're kids, so we're already in bed. Did you gasp when you heard about it? I mean... You go, Father, I've got a busy day tomorrow. How dare you? And you put on your robe and then ran in there. The sleeping hat. What is happening? The hat, the ball. Yeah, yeah.

What is our president saying? We're going to war, father. I like to think, I thought the announcement, when would they have made the announcement? I was thinking, is it two in the morning? Or is it like... No, I feel like... I think it was prime time. I think you wait until you've got some eyeballs, honey. Yeah. And then you let the world know. I think they launched the offensive and then word gets out and he makes an official announcement what's going on. Yeah. No, he got the ball rolling first? No, I think they got the ball rolling first with some...

missiles or something. That's what I mean. Yeah. And then he came on. Let's do this announcement. They just shot at us. All right, we'll do it right now. That's how quick it turned. All right, go ahead and do it now. Uh, so, uh, well, what we've been doing, what we've been up to. So I, I, I'm wearing a San Francisco Giants hat. I was in, uh, so we did Vegas. Vegas was amazing. Nick, uh, my dad's shows were awesome. Reno was awesome. Uh,

Awesome time. And I go to L.A. for a little bit. And I went to the Dodgers-Giants game. Justin Galindo has been one of my tour managers. And he goes out with Gaffigan as well. But he, Justin, like, texted me. It was great because I was in L.A. And I didn't, like, you know, I was only there for, like, a couple days. So I didn't think about it.

Like looking at the, and Justin's from LA, so he's a Dodger fan. And then he knows Mike Yashimski, who we know, or I know, like from, he played at Vandy, now plays for the Giants.

And so then it was like, oh, they're in town. So I went to the game. And it was awesome. And Yaz, I mean, I posted on Instagram. Yeah, I wanted to ask you about this. Yeah. So if anybody saw it on Instagram, I posted the night before. I was like, I texted him and said, hey, can we go? Yeah. You know, can I go to the game? And it's in LA. I didn't want to, you know, LA, I'm sure, is a tough place to ask for tickets. And, you know, there's baseball players. Some of them, they have to pay for their tickets. Oh, really?

Really? They only get so many. I don't know if he – maybe he didn't have to pay for these. I mean, I would not want him to pay. But, like, sometimes if, like, stuff gets crazy, you only get so many. I mean, there's so many players. So I'm sure they – look, I'm sure if you're – there's levels of, you know, if Nolan Ryan wanted tickets during Nolan Ryan's heyday, they were like, yeah, you can have them. And so – but Yaz got us the tickets –

And I'm lucky to be... Those are great seats.

Looks like the Dodgers manager right there in front of you. I'm on the Giants side. I was with the family, family and friends section. Oh. And so we're sitting there. Kirk Casale also plays for the Giants. Giants are maybe the best team in baseball this year. Yeah. They're unreal. So I texted him, and when we were texting about it, I was like, hey, thanks again. I'm glad this worked out. Home run, really top it off with no pressure. And he's like, yeah, that's easy.

It's like Paul O'Neill. Seinfeld. If I thought Yaz would get the reference, I was going to also catch a ball in your hat. Yeah.

But he hit a home run. It's amazing. It was great. We were sitting in those seats, and then me and Justin go walk to the – because where those seats were, you got club access up at the top to go eat. So we get up, and we go eat in the right field. So we're like upper-level right field eating, and we're sitting there. And we got great seats there too. We're not close. And he hits it to the right field. And so we're right there as it comes over the fence. Wow.

And I did think, I was like, one of you guys, like, you know, he gets home run. I'm thinking he's going to look at me. He's like, finally, he points at me. I'm not there. That's for you, kid. That's for you. He went, opened up, hit a home run the next day as well. And then I haven't looked past that. But they lost that game. Walk off three-run home run Dodgers. I mean, man, it was crazy. And then they won the other game. They won.

in that fashion. Uh, but the Giants won. Uh, so yeah, it was awesome. It was, it was fun to, uh, get to go. There's a lot of any Walker Bueller pitches for the Dodgers, uh, Mookie Betts, Nashville guy. I've golfed with him, uh, and, uh, Joe Kelly,

uh pitches for the dodgers and we grew up with uh my parents my parents and his parents like went to school together oh that's cool yeah and they uh and he's younger than me my dad performed at his birthday party when he was five really and then he i mean he's younger than he's younger than me but he pitches for them yeah yeah he always does something entertaining he like blows a kiss with the other team or stuff he's yeah he's fun we traded his shirt the other day for like uh

Was it a Hawaiian shirt or? No, he traded his jersey for a. Oh, yeah. Like a. What's the Mexican band? Yeah. I don't know if that's how you're supposed to say it. Mariachi band. Mariachi band. See, that's so much podiatrist. Yeah.

Hey, this Mexican band's coming over again. That sounds like just an old dad that you're like, Dad, it's a mariachi. Yeah, why is every mariachi band Mexican? It's Marcus Mariota Band. So, it looks like it's a full stadium. They have no in LA, no mask or anything required? So, they just did the

mask thing that you had to wear a mask inside. But I mean, I think outside, I mean, it was kind of great to see, to be honest. Yeah. Because I was super, I thought I'm going to go to LA and they're going to, they just put that mask thing. I was like, I'm going, everybody's going to have a mask on. That's what you think, Cal. I have hope for the country. Yeah.

That I walked in there and there was no mask. That's awesome. They were just like not wearing it and not saying you should or shouldn't or whatever be vaccinated. I don't, none of that stuff. I'm just saying it felt, I thought I must wear a mask outside. I thought people would be doing that. And it was like, the people don't care. And it was nice to see. And they were cheering and it was fun. Yeah. So anyway, what'd you two losers do?

I'm joking. That was a good transition. Yeah. I have to transition somehow. Y'all were not picking up. Y'all didn't, you know. Keep the momentum going? Keep the momentum going. Are you giving me carte blanche to hop in and change the topic at any point? Let's see. You can try. Yeah, okay. You can try. Okay, you'll give me one try. I'll save it. Yeah. I'll save it.

I'll save it. I'm throwing out the first pitch at a Nashville Sounds game. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, against Memphis. Oh, wow. September 7th. That's crazy. September 7th. I'm trying to think of my strategy, dude. Yeah. It's funny because I went to Sounds game recently and I just saw some dude from like the Tennessee Lottery throw out the first pitch. I was like, I could do this.

We just emailed them and they were like, all right. Oh, really? Yeah. I just got one of the first pitch. You do? And they were like, okay. I'm going to have to do it. So thank you. That's what it felt like. It was like, we were trying to find people to do this. That's like when someone, like you have to have someone introduce you, like at a theater, you're like, you have to get someone on the side. You're like, Hey, can we bring the voice of God? Like, please welcome neighbor gets in. You just, if someone, if someone's like, Oh, I'll do it. That's sounds fun. And you're the other, you know,

When you're like the opener, because the opener usually has to do it, you're like, oh, yeah, dude, that'd be great. You're welcome to do it. And you're like, oh, I didn't know. You think it's this big deal, and he's like, you. Yeah. Nobody wants to do it. I watched the dude do the first pitch, and nobody's paying attention. I mean, nobody's watching. It's the mascots catching it, but I'm like, I want to do it. Is there even a game that night? No.

Yes. The mascot's catching it? The mascot has a catcher's mitt. The rooster gets down behind a home plate. They don't even bother them. And I don't know what the rules are. I think they tell you you can't. I would love to pitch from the mound. I think they tell you you can't. Well, people always just go to the mound. But not all the way up on it.

You can't go up on the rubber. I've never seen it. Bush did it after 9-11, but he can do it every day. I think there's a lot of people that go, I'm going to go do it. I think you'll notice most people do it from the front of the mound. I know, but I think some they tell you not to, then they do it because they go, I'm not going to go out there and not pitch from the ground. Are you saying that's what I should do?

Here's the only thing. I got still like old rule following in me that I think it's like they don't want you to do it because it's like the pitch has got to go up there. I get it. There's something that you go like, just do what they want you to do. I get up there to start digging a hole. Yeah. It's just –

pick up the rising bag. Well, there's, there's, I think there's someone that has done, that has done something like that. I'm sure you could find. Bill Murray, maybe. Yeah. So like Bill Murray doing it, it's hilarious. And he can do, you got to get to the point where you're like, you can do whatever you want. Otherwise they're going to be like, dude, why would we let you do it? You're saying me doing it. They probably wouldn't be as cool. They might be like, who is this guy? He's a gout survivor. Yeah.

And then they go, that's the announcement. That's the byline on the jumbotron. Everyone gives you a standing ovation. Local gout survivor. Throws out the first pitch. You're like, well, I don't think he can even walk up to the top of that mound, to be honest. He has to stay on the flat part. No one even knows you do comedy. Gout survivor. Oh, that would be really funny if I could get him to put that on the jumbotron. You have to wear, I don't know, like a brown ribbon. Compression socks.

you have a i don't i don't i'm trying to think it's a weird color you know gout awareness ribbon pin on the shirt a ribbon pin that's red and white because of tan lines in your feet and so like it's like the legs and the red and white and then that's the gout ribbon oh yeah i'll have to get one made yeah i'm excited about it i'm gonna throw i'm gonna i'm gonna really go to practice i'm gonna whip it in there

Are you going to practice with Lucy? Like have her in the yard? Not with Lucy. Somebody who could catch. Do we need to throw some – I'll catch one. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, we'll warm up. Yeah. Do you want to practice doing the first pitch to him? It's like going to a rooster.

I'll let you get warmed up with me and then the rooster walks out. We'll simulate it with Brian. Simulate it. Yeah. Anyway, that's kind of cool. It was so funny how easy it was. You just never think, I'll just ask if I could do it. They're like, sure, go ahead. But I'm pumped. September 7th. Yeah, we're playing Memphis. So I'm going to be there. Do you want to come, Brian? Absolutely. Yeah, let's do it. I want to film this.

What day is that? It's a Tuesday. Oh, maybe I'll be there. Yeah, you should. Yeah. Maybe Nate shows up. They're like, hey, we're just going to let Nate do it. But it still says Gout Survivors. Everyone's still. I go, give me a ribbon, Aaron. I take your jersey that says Weber. They already went through. We already did the jersey thing. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be a good time. I'm trying to even, I don't know my schedule. I'm trying to think where I'm going to be. I'll be here.

I don't think I'm going to be here, actually. I think you just made that up. Oh, yeah. No, I started thinking about it. I think I have to. But we're at video of a year ago. I feel confident I'll be available. Yeah. Right. Anytime in September. Yeah. Wide open. Or August. August. Wide open. October. Whatever you want to do. When you want to do it. Whenever. I'm like that psychologist that does the experiment every 13 years. That's right. Other news, though. You have some other news that...

Yeah. Oh, I'm doing Just for Laughs Comedy Festival. It's huge. Yeah, well, it's really cool, first of all. It's really cool to do. Your first one up there. It's a big deal. Well, it's alphabetical, but I'll take it. You take it. But luckily they did the first name and not the W. Yeah. That's true. Now, there's a line in my bio that says you can hear Aaron on the Nate Land Podcast with Nate Bargetzi and Brian Bates where they tackle important world issues like...

Fast food, Rhode Island. Well, I said in my bio they left out the last part of that sentence. So the last letter in this deadline, the last sentence of the deadline says, you can hear Aaron on the Nate Land podcast where the three Nashville-based comedians tackle important world issues. And then it just ends. And it makes it look like I'm on a political podcast on BBC or something. Well, that's what we do, Aaron. Yeah.

We tackle important world issues. You come here if you want to get stuff solved. That's great, though, dude. New faces. It is a big deal for people that don't know any of this because this is something that when you get it and you tell people, I know that your family is like,

They don't know. Yeah. They don't know what to, they're like, Oh, they're just excited. They're only excited because you're, they can tell you're excited. Right. And, uh, just for laughs is a huge festival and to be new faces is a very big deal. So it's very, it's great, dude. Is it one of the accomplishment? Thank you. It's, uh, you know, it's like, it's, it's a, it's a cool thing to have, man. Like you gotta, you gotta go through. It's part of it. You're in the scene, you're in the system of, uh,

You know, the business, you're, you know, it's cool. Not everybody gets it, but it's a huge thing. What year did you do it? 2008, I think. So you would have been 29? Yeah.

Something like that? Same age as you? Yeah. I think so. Yeah, was it? Yeah, 2008? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. See? How about it? One day. Yeah. And how many years ago was that? 13 years? 13 years you'd be able to host your own podcast. Yeah.

Can you believe that? In 13 years, Bates and I will have a podcast. Yes. Aaron Land and Batesville. Is there a new Batesville? There's a bunch now. Some of them don't even follow me. Really? I followed one of them. They didn't follow me back. Yeah. There's a bunch. Yeah. There's a Batesville, Baitland.

it's kind of a survival of the fittest out there. If they create one, you gotta, you gotta bring it. Right. So let's go folks. Yeah. Oh, I've seen that one too. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of good stuff being made. Yeah. Brian's nose. Brian's nose pops up every now and then. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but congratulations. Congratulations. New faces. Just flats. It's a huge, huge deal. Uh,

And to get to do that is a big deal. And I've just gotten into Old Faces. Old Faces. Congratulations. Less known. It's in the Sachaquah area of Canada. And you've got to take a boat with those floats on the bottom of it. And it lands in the lake. That's how you get to it. And you, you know...

A little less prestigious. Yeah. Weirdly, the plane never gets too high off the ground the whole route. It's pretty low. And you ask, are we ever going to go up? And he goes, no, it's pretty flat. And then you skid into the water and do a show.

I did a show recently in Albany, Albany Funny Bone. You were just there as well. I flew in the night before and it was a connecting flight through D.C. And because of weather, I didn't land in Albany until like 1.30 in the morning. And I'd never been to Albany. I didn't realize just how small it is. But I come out and start calling an Uber and it's searching, searching. And I found out there's no Ubers available. They're just at that time of night. And then I called cab companies. There's three cab companies. Only one answered.

And the guy wouldn't pick me up. He said he already had somebody had pickup. Only guy in Albany, I guess, running a cab. Then I call my hotel. They said, we don't have shuttle service. And I'm, it's like two in the morning now. I'm just out there in the corner of first and first, just trying to figure out what to do. There's another couple there. And I said, did you guys get an Uber or what'd you do? And they're like, no, we got a cab. And we quickly figure out that they're the ones that that guy, they called that guy. And the guy said, look,

Where are you going? I told him a hotel. And he said, you can just ride with us.

So he was going to like some other town or something. So when he got there, he asked the cab driver if we can just give this guy a ride. And he didn't want to do it, but he said yes. So this nice couple, Isaac and Emily, just gave me a ride to my hotel. Oh, you know them. Yeah, we met on the trip. And they gave me a ride to my hotel. And I got there like 2.30 in the morning. Yeah. But if it wasn't for them, I don't know what I would have done. Did you pay? I paid the guy. I gave Isaac money. Yeah. And then he just went on his way. Yeah.

What were they doing? They just lived there? They were coming to visit family. Like it was this family reunion or something. And no one in his family would pick them up?

Maybe because it was so late or something. That would be more the reason they'd go, you got to do me a favor. Well, I don't know. I didn't want it to turn to that, but. How long of a walk would that have been for you? I looked at it. It was like an hour walk. Would you have done it? I guess you would have had to if everything else fell through. I mean, I guess I would have, I had a contact for the funny bone. I'd obviously never met the guy that's on it, but I guess I would have called him and just told him the situation and.

Hope he comes and gets you. Yeah. Or you almost got to go back in the airport because you could go back in, right? Or is it doors locked? I think you could go back in. Yeah.

And then just might as well, you could wait till six in the morning and go rent a car or something. Yeah. Or maybe by then Ubers would be running. They might not even have it. I mean, who knows? Yeah. I don't know. It would search and then it just eventually would come up. I got a Lyft at 3 a.m. in Albany today. No problem. So I don't know. Did you not try Lyft? No, I think I tried all of them. Oh, okay.

so you did you got it so funny like literally this morning this morning i took a lift at 3 a.m in albany to the airport i scheduled it ahead of time so maybe that's that's the difference it's just so funny that you're describing something i did it you just did no problem they showed up seven hours ago on time yeah yeah yeah maybe it was the scheduling part that's right that's very funny yeah uh all right that's it's caught up uh yeah

That's all I got. That's all. I didn't know, you know. So we had a lot of catching up. That was a lot of talking about fun stuff we've been up to. I mean, everybody's been wondering, you know. Everybody's been like, what's happening? You got a good Uber Lyft story. Kind of a

I zoned out for a giant part of that. I was sitting there and I was like, well, Aaron's talking now. How long have we been here? I go, what's happening? Well, it was a great story you missed. No, I liked the story. I think it's very funny. So this week, we wanted to do a state. We obviously don't have a guest from the state. Not that I guess we haven't looked into it. Do we know someone from Alaska? I know someone from Alaska. I know someone from Alaska, but...

A comedian? Yeah. Yeah. A comic, Ari. He's not, I mean, he does more writing and stuff now, but he's from Alaska. Have you ever been to Alaska? I've never been. It's one of the places, one of the states. I don't think I've been to Alaska, and I don't believe I've been to Montana and North Dakota. I want to say I've been to North Dakota, actually. North Dakota University, I think I went there.

So maybe Alaska and Montana, maybe Wyoming. Those are the only three states I haven't been to. You spent your honeymoon there. Yeah, I spent a week there. Last month, I loved it. I had always wanted to go. I knew very little about it.

But I'm excited to talk about it. Could you guys name anyone from Alaska, like a celebrity? Jewel. I knew Jewel was from there. Yeah. I don't know if I could have named her, but I know that he said it. First, I can only think of Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin, yeah. And then I remember Jewel. But that's the only two I could name from there. Yeah. There's a few. Some basketball players. Carlos Boozer, Mario Chalmers from there. Oh, wow. Kurt Schilling. Wow. The painter, Bob Ross. Wow.

Really? Yeah.

According to this. It makes sense because I said it several times when I was there is everywhere looks like a Bob Ross painting. Yeah. But that's my only reference for an artist. So maybe there are other artists that work better. I knew that Alaska was the biggest state. I didn't realize just how much bigger it was. You tell a joke on stage about it being three times bigger than Texas. Yeah. And it basically is. I saw a picture of it in the center of the United States and it's like a third of the country.

Wow. It's so big. If you laid it over the continental United States, the most western part of it, the most western part of it would, if you put the most western part on Los Angeles, the most eastern part would be in Florida. I mean, that's how big we're talking. Boy, that does not look like that on that map right there. Well, you'd have to maybe tilt it a little bit. Oh, okay. But some random tour guide in Talkeetna, Alaska told me that, so I'm going to defend it until I die. Yeah. You said it as...

I mean, it's funny to hear the source of this. You say it, you're like, wow, dude, that's cool. Where'd you hear that? You're like, just a guy up there. Just some dude up there told me that, and I'm going to stick to it. We did, Rhode Island was our first state. That's the smallest. 470 Rhode Islands can fit in Alaska. Wow. I'm super wondering that. Isn't that pretty fascinating?

I mean, the more fascinating thing is that the Western part could touch California and Florida. I don't think then go, why don't I go to Rhode Island? Boy, that was my first fact out of the gate. Well, you know who, the only person that wants to know that is maybe Rhode Island. Rhode Island. You're like, all right, Rhode Island, we've already done you. So maybe not every state has to be about, every state's like how many Rhode, I guess we got to do that now. Every other state, how many Rhode Island can fit in it? How many Rhode Island can fit in this state? Four. Four.

477. Here's another fact that I was amazed by. It's the least, all right, this is not the fact, but to set it up, it's the third least populous state of any state, and it's by far the most sparsely populated. If Manhattan had the same population density as Alaska, only 16 people would live in Manhattan. Right.

That's pretty wild. Yeah. That'd be like the apocalypse. Yeah. And there were parts of it, man, where I was out there and I was like, I've never felt so desolate. No people...

It's so big. The scale of things was overwhelming, where we would be looking at mountains and we'd have a tour guide go, all right, how far away do you think that mountain is? And we'd look at it and be like, I don't know, a mile or two. And they're like, that's 80 miles away. Wow. It's just so big. You just have no idea.

concept of how big all this stuff is and you just don't we would go hours without seeing people yeah oh it's cheating with that tail come on oh yeah what are you talking about how's that cheating i mean it's it's like i left some yeah you're like all right i guess i didn't know that part was a part i almost don't believe this that feels like when we won uh when we won alaska

We're like, in that part there. And they go, all right, fine. And then that part. Okay. And then those four parts. All right, dude, how far out do you want to go? All the way. All the way just to that one. And they go, that's fine. And just one more. All right, we're done. That's it. That's enough. That's how that feels at the end of that. Where you go, sure, you can have all that dumb stuff. What is all that stuff? Do people even like... Those are islands out there, man. Do people live on that? I bet. I read that one of those islands was the only... World War II was...

Only follow an American soul at one of those islands. Yeah, they got cities out here, man. They don't have cities. No, they're not cities, but they have civil, you know. Look, there's a settlement. Someone lives on that. Someone lives on that. Yeah, somebody lives on Chuganodak Island, dude.

Right here. I wonder what the population of Charterdale is. I bet there are scientists that live out there, people that take care of the land, stuff like that. Well, you have a magical device right in front of your face. Maybe type in. Do you not want to type it in because you think it's going to say, of course not. This is a remote island that's cold. So who would want to? Look, that Unimac Island that we were just looking at, 64 people live there.

Right here. Okay. 64 people. There's probably a subway that goes there. I would like you to go out a little bit. Yeah, that's one of the bigger ones. That's one of the bigger ones. Oh, keep going? That island's basically touching Alaska. You could drive there. You want me to check out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so Attu Station here. I don't know what just happened. Attu. Jeez. It doesn't want me. It doesn't want me to change. Yeah, it won't let you do it. So like one of these? Yeah. All right. Okay. Just look up one of those. All right. All right.

So the state capital, do you know? I do, but I can't think of it. It's a movie with... Fargo. Fargo, North East, Star Wars. Marvel. One of the Marvel movies. Iron Man. Glory. Juno. Juno. Yeah. It is a movie. Spelled differently. I was going to say. It's the second largest city in the United States by area.

meaning it's bigger than Rhode Island. Is it? How many Rhode Islands? Probably just one, but it's bigger than Rhode Island and Delaware. Yeah. Just in actual size. It's the second largest. The largest city is Alaska. Say how many Rhode, like that says how hungry they are. How hungry are you? I could eat five Rhode Islands right now. And you go, Whoa, that's a big, got a big boy here. There's no road access to Juneau. It's the only capital city that you have to,

Get there by boat or plane. Oh, wow. Did you go? No, we didn't go to Juneau. We got into Anchorage and then worked our way up to Fairbanks. So we only really tackled like one corner of it. Juneau is kind of its own thing, like you said. Hmm.

I mean, there's parts of it that are just nothing. No one's at. I think... Majority of it. The vast majority. Most of it, man. Yeah. We took... It's called the Alaskan... I think it's called the Alaskan Railroad. Yeah. We took it from Anchorage to Fairbanks, and we didn't even...

get out of this bottom right corner of the state. But there were hours where the, the train conductor would go, all right, we're about to enter a dead zone. There's nothing out here. Oh, really? There's nothing. And you just, just go and look nothing.

I mean, as far as the eye can see, it's hard to comprehend how big it is and there's just nothing out there, man. And you mean like there's no mountains? There's no flat? No, the scenery. Just trees. Trees. No man-made objects besides the train. Oh, God, no. No. That's where Bigfoot lives.

He could. Like if there's a Bigfoot, that's the thing that they would say, like there's parts of, uh, there is so much room for a Bigfoot to be. And you would have no idea. It's crazy to think how big a train is. And then you,

Think about how big a train is, and then just to be going, and there's so much. No one's around. God, it's so big. It is. That was actually the coolest part of taking the railroad. It's the last whistle-stop train in the country. That's what they told me. I didn't fact-check that at all. But they said it's the last whistle-stop train, meaning that locals have a right to

to literally whistle and get the train will stop and pick them up. This is like an old, old fashioned looking rail train. So we're sitting there. It looks like there's nothing. And then every once in a while, this like mountain man would come out of the woods and stop the train and hop on. And you could like peek through the woods and see their homestead out there. We're talking middle of nowhere.

And there are people out there that just, for whatever reason, just want to get away from everything. They just go out and live in the middle of nowhere. And they can flag that train down and hop up to Fairbanks for whatever reason. Do they have to whistle to get to the stop? I don't know if they actually whistle or if that's just if they flag it down somehow. But that's what they call it, a whistle stop train. So every 45 minutes or so, the train would stop. It's probably pretty hard to hear a whistle.

You have to whistle loud. Yeah. They give you one of those like...

trying to hear. Man, can you imagine like living... There's something, I guess, if you know how to hunt, you can live all that. You just live off the wall. Yeah. There was a story in the New York Times just a couple days ago about a guy who was being stalked by a grizzly bear there. Do you see this? He got mauled by this bear. He's out there alone. No cell service. And he got...

away and got back to his camp, I guess, or a shed that he was in. And then for days, the bear would come back and try to get to him, like tear the tent off and stuff like that. And it just kept stalking him. And then he finally, a helicopter airplane flew over and he like waved them down and they landed and saved his life. But he'd been out there for days because this bear wouldn't let him leave. He whistle stopped the airplane. Yeah. So you can stop any kind of mode of transportation in Alaska. Yeah.

boat, airplane, just wave it all down. And everybody just goes, we got to, it's part of the laws. You got to pick them up. You got to pick them up. One of the pilots said, did he wave with one hand or two? And they said two. And he's like, oh, okay, that's the symbol for stop. I'm in trouble. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Which I mean, it's kind of seemed like common sense, but I never thought about it. If he's doing this, he's waving. But if he's doing this. Yeah. Did he come back? Did he see? Yeah, he waved back. Yeah.

So are they coming back? Oh, I don't know. Did you wave with two hands? No, no. How you doing? And he nodded. We both did that. And then he's gone forever. Yeah.

Well, they tell you. That sounds like the movie. What's the movie, The Lead Art of Caprio? Everyone said it was like The Revenant, but that was the one where the bear just left him for dead. There was a movie with Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin, The Edge. You guys remember this movie? I think so. Alec Baldwin played the bear. What'd you say? Alec Baldwin played the bear. Go ahead. I don't know.

They crashed or something in Alaska. Something for closers? The bear kept stalking them. There you go. Kept stalking them for days, and they finally had to come up with a way to kill it. In my old movie watching days, as are right now when I watch old movies, maybe I'll go watch The Edge. Yeah, it's good. It's got Elvin Pearson. You're going to say don't judge a book by its cover. I feel like I can judge a movie by its poster. Is this movie terrible? I liked it.

Oh, the bear stalking them. I mean, it looks awful, dude. Just based on that poster alone. Well, did you see any bear when you were there? Saw a few. Out in the wild. Yeah. Yeah. We took, uh, we went into Denali national forest, which is a third of the size of Tennessee. That's how big it is. So big. And there's only one road going into it. So we took a tour bus on this one paved road and,

Right into the middle of it. And then we took a little bush plane out of it. Lucy and I. But...

They were like, look, you're lucky if you see kind of one grizzly bear in the distance. So just don't get your expectations up. You're lucky if you see one. And we saw one that was about a couple hundred yards away, just kind of sitting there looking at us. And we were like, there's our bear sighting. That's fine. Then we turn around the corner and there's a mom and a cub on the road right in front of us.

So the bus driver pulls up kind of as close as she can right behind it. And we're all watching it. We're like, this is crazy. It's like right there. Right. And then the tour guide goes, nobody look, but there's another bear coming up right behind us.

And there's another adult bear comes up from the back of the bus and confronts the mother and her cub. That's the interaction. It's like the mother cub is defending, the mother's defending her cub to this stranger. Yeah. And she scares that one away and it runs away. And this all happened. Like I could reach out and touch them from the bus. It was pretty wild. You were so close. You could just reach out. I could open the window of this bus and reach out and touch the bears. No problem. Is, uh.

So the order of the road is it goes bear, bus, bear? We pull around the corner. The two bears are in front of us. Okay. And then the other bear comes from behind us. Yeah. It kind of comes around the side of the bus up to them. And they're not even sort of acknowledging this bus. They didn't acknowledge us at all. And the brakes kind of squealed a little bit. I thought they were going to be like, what are y'all doing here? But they didn't at all. Yeah.

It's a weird feeling like we're in their home. You know what I mean? It's not like a zoo or a conservatory. It's like this is where they live, and we just pull up in this school bus. And then they just... And they're fine with it. Yeah, they seem totally fine with it. Was the bus packed? It was pretty full. There were like 25, 30 people on it. Yeah. Did you have pictures of it? You know what? I wasn't taking many pictures. Lucy was taking some pictures. I felt dumb.

everybody's up. I don't know. I probably should have taken more. I got a couple of videos of seeing them. Yeah. And did the mama bear threaten the other bear? Just like scared her off? Kind of stood up and got in its face. Yeah. And just kind of let it know, Hey, you need to turn back around. Yeah. And they kind of just looked at each other and got up. And then the other one on its back legs too.

They weren't standing. They weren't like bumping chests, but they kind of got up, got up at each other. Okay. Yeah. And the other one turned around and ran. Yeah. Kind of cool to see. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. All right. They're just out there. It's, it's crazy, man. Yeah. So I read where when the U S purchased Alaska and from Russia in like 1950 something, or maybe earlier than that, um, put it on the credit card. Yeah. Yeah.

I think they were... Oh, is that cheap? I mean, how much was it? You have the price in there? It was $7.2 million, which amounts to $0.02 per acre.

What if you could, someone would have just bought it? Like, could anybody have bought it? Could they, could someone just go, I'll buy it. And a guy buys it. What year was that? It was 1898. Okay. So people had that kind of money back then. A few people did. In 1898. It was actually a little bit before that, but they thought it was a huge mistake. They called it Seward's Folly because the guy who, Secretary of State, they came up with it. It's like, why do we want all this land? And then gold was discovered in 1898 and it became a huge deal.

And now there's a Seward's Day to commemorate the purchase of Alaska. And then, I mean, isn't there like oil and like all that kind of stuff? And like, it's like we could live off Alaska. Like it's like a... I feel like they bought it to try to flip it. Yeah. Fix it up and sell it to some other Canada or something. Canada. Why didn't Canada get it?

I don't know. I think they didn't have the money then. Just lazy. Just lazy, dude. They just didn't want it. They didn't. Hey, the United States is about to buy Alaska. They're like, who cares? They just had a king that was like, I don't care right now.

And he can't. I mined for gold in a river. Yeah? I didn't catch anything, dude. I mean, obviously, I would have told you by now if I had come back with gold. It would be gold chain on. I was doing it, and I was like, this is just a waste of time.

Does anybody ever get anything? They're like, yeah, we heard. It was like some girl working at this place. She was like, yeah, I heard somebody got some last summer. So you literally go out with a pan? You go out and you do it the way that they would do it back in the day, right? With like a pan that you scoop up stuff and you sift it through. It felt like a colossal waste of time.

That would almost be, so like if someone goes and takes a vacation to Alaska, you would say avoid the gold thing. Or is that gold thing sandwiched in with something else? We have like time to kill before that plane ride. We're in the middle of Denali National Park. There's nothing else to do. We'll try to mine for some gold. Yeah. And nobody caught anything, obviously. Yeah. Just got our shoes all wet. Yeah. You have to walk around in wet shoes the rest of the day? Yeah, for sure. Oh, man. That's not fun. Yeah. How cold is it?

It got pretty cold. Obviously, the higher up you go, the colder it is. So by the time we got to the middle of that, it was pretty cold out there. It was 30s, 40s. Did you see the Aurora Borealis? No, we couldn't. I didn't see darkness at all there the whole time we were there. What was the hours of sunset and sun? Sunset was like 1.30, and then sunrise was 3.30.

So it was just only a couple hours where, and it only got partially dark even then. So we just, it was just broad daylight. It is bizarre to walk out at midnight and it feels like three in the afternoon. It's bizarre. You feel like you should do something. You do feel like that. Yeah. I feel like such a lazy, you know. I think there was a movie, I think it was called Insomnia with Robin Williams and Al Chino. In Alaska. Yeah. Yeah. Alec Baldwin's the bear. Yeah.

Little known fact. Little known fact. Stick around to the end. Yeah. It's 50 miles from Russia. I can see it from my house. Yep. Yeah. And the Bering Land Strait, anthropologists think the first humans that came to North America came from Russia. And at one time it was all connected. The Ice Age, right? One of those ages. Yeah. I'm not sure. Some age. Could have been. Some age they came over. Did you see Eskimo? Is that even a real thing?

Yeah, like native Alaskan people. I think they're called. Yeah, Induits. Indigenous. Inuits. Indigenous people, yeah. Yeah, they're everywhere. They're all over. I just heard someone talk about that saying like you're not supposed to say Eskimo, but it's not.

It's because there's different... I think there's... That would just be like one... That's like one. That's like one group of people. So it's not... I don't think it's even that that's offensive. But the people are like, we're not Eskimos. So you're just calling all of us Eskimos. Right. There's some Asian guy told me that. I don't know. You know. Yeah.

Barrow, Alaska has the longest and shortest amount of daylight. When the sun rises on May 10th, it doesn't set for nearly three months. And when it sets on November 18th, they don't see a sun again for two months. Wow. Some guy, some local, he told me, I would never have thought about this. He goes, you know the worst part about all that? I go, what? He goes, I got to mow my grass so often because the sun's just always out. I never would have thought about that. You have to mow the grass like every other day. Yeah. Twice as much sunlight.

every other day well maybe not that often but but yeah maybe twice a week or something or once a week i think our grass gets mowed once a week okay so twice twice a week twice a week i mean i feel like here it's be so hot and humid the grass would wither if there was never sun never went down that's a good point maybe this guy was just totally making stuff up to me yeah the people up there it's it's funny it's a good mix of uh

Most people I met came to Alaska. They came up here for a summer, and I just stuck around. I just couldn't leave the sheer beauty of this place. I just had to stay. A few people grew up there, but most people are like that. We were in this town, Talkeetna. They had no government.

None whatsoever. And I'm talking to this dude. He's got a Korean War veteran hat on, mustache. He just looks like prototypical Alaskan dude. And he goes, y'all might have noticed that we don't have government here. And that's just the way we like it. Everyone's like, oh, man. Somebody goes, what if somebody commits a crime or something? He goes, we take care of it. You're like, oh, dude.

It was just a different breed up there, man. They just live life differently in some parts. And you understand the appeal of it. Yeah. You know? So the roads and everything's paved by the state or something? I don't know how the roads are paved.

But they're like, we don't have a mayor. There's one town the mayor was a cat because it's just a cat that hung out at a general store that they all, it's stubs or something. They're like, that's the mayor. We don't want a real government. We don't want a police force. We don't want firemen. We don't want anything. We'll do it all ourselves. Yeah. And he's like, some people come up and try to start stuff. Next thing you know, their car's on fire. They leave.

They just get rid of them. They handle stuff themselves, man. It's kind of cool. So murder's legal there. Long story short. It is kind of cool. Essentially, yeah, you can get away with it. It would be so easy to get away with murder up there. I was thinking about it the whole time. Not the whole time. Lucy? Yeah, just on my honeymoon, just thinking about how I could get away with murder. What do you think about it, Aaron? A couple of things. Yeah.

You don't want to know. I know there's at least one comedy. Is the airplane door open? What's that? I was just wondering. You got those headphones that you're talking in there. Lucy, could you turn it down? Is the airplane door? Can you just slide it? Would you hear anything? If I shoved something out of this? That's how you would do it. Take them up.

But I have other people in the plane with me. I have to push them out too. Now you got to kill everybody. I know. And then I have to land the plane. Once you do it, then you're like, oh no, everybody looks at you. They go, why'd you do that? You go, oh, you start just throwing everybody out the plane. And then you're like, all right, we're good. And then the pilots are like, hey, what's going on back there? Oh no. You got to throw this out. Now the plane's empty. We're good. And then you got to, and then it starts going. And then you throw the plane out. Get rid of the plane. Yeah.

The plane tosses, then tosses you out. I'm sitting, I sat on that bush plane, very small plane. I'm very uncomfortable and I'm sitting shotgun. You know, they have to distribute the weight on this plane. Yeah. So I'm sitting shotgun. Do they ask you for your weight? They're very precise about, you have to put on all your gear and they weigh you. Did the guy go, uh, all right, everybody's like, do you remember that at all? Do you remember any like big kind of stuff? Well, actually. When you showed up, did he go, phew.

You saw him just start like... He starts taking stuff out of the plate. Yeah.

We'll get you the next round. Yeah. I was worried about that, but I had actually lost a bunch of weight from when I submitted my weight months before that. So I was able to show up and they were under budget. That was the talk of the plane. They were like, oh, man. Whoa, look at this. I was still the biggest on the plane. Was that your motivation, just that plane ride the whole time? No, but I'm glad it worked out when we were there. I was like, I'm glad I did that. Well, you get a ride up front. I'm still smushed in the front.

And, you know, it's front of a small plane. There's buttons everywhere. And I don't know. And my knees are like pushing up against these buttons. And I told him, I was like, I asked the pilot, I go, can I, what do I, he goes, yeah, don't touch any of that. And my knee is right next to this, this thing that just says like, it says propeller or not, or it said something, something.

Something that did not look like I wanted to hit it. Very important. And so I almost, I mean, I almost didn't enjoy any of it because I'm just so worried about accidentally hitting one of these buttons with my knees the whole time. So I'm just, the whole plane, I'm literally like this because I don't want to touch any of this stuff. I think it's a propeller plane, propeller, what a wing, propeller wing or something. I was like, I don't want to hit that. It seems odd. It would be back there. Would you, is he like giving you a tour up there?

No. It's just to get to the next place. Oh, he is giving... It's a scenic thing. He's swooping around. He's jumping between mountains and stuff.

So he's doing it up. I mean, is it like a ride? Yeah. Like, whoa. Parts of it are for sure. Yeah. And you can see like a storm coming and I was like freaking out. He didn't even phase him. He just like drives right through it. And then he'll come down and I'm like, we're getting too low. I thought about the clip, the side of these mountains at some point. Pretty wild. Yeah. But you go, I mean, it's so desolate. That also helped me appreciate the scale.

is we're flying over places that you can't get to. There's no road out there. And you look down and there's just nothing. Yeah. As far as the eye can see. Yeah. It's overwhelming. Would you ever want to live there? I'd like to visit there regularly, but I don't know if I want to live there. Everything's super expensive there. And it's so hard to get anywhere, you know.

Like, it would be, you would have to be comfortable just like, I'm staying here. Uh-huh. Like, the idea of it for like, if you're like, oh, let me go do two weeks in this house, but everything's stocked, everything's ready to go. Yeah. And then you're like, no one comes, and you're just alone for two weeks or something. Yeah. Like, it'd be something fun like that. Uh-huh. But maybe then you would turn, like, to Stanford prison experience. Yeah. And you start...

Start just running through the woods. You know, you fight a bear. Well, actually, I made a mistake. Alec Baldwin. I read the story about this guy who, I just had a root canal done, by the way, but I needed to have it done for like a year. And so I had a toothache when we were on our way to Alaska. And I read a story about a guy who,

who went hunting in rural Alaska and got a sudden toothache. And it was so bad. And he was so far away from everybody. He just killed himself because it hurt so bad. So I thought about that the whole trip too. I was like, if we're on this plane, if it crashes or something, and I get a toothache, I'm going to have to kill myself. So yeah, it's a fun trip. Yeah. That'd be the edge part too. The sequel. This guy just kills himself. So 17. What kind of magazine were you reading before you went out there? Yeah.

It was on my phone. Yeah. Magazine. You're just looking up. You still read magazines? I don't know. I'm just reading suicide deaths in Alaska before you take a trip out there. I just...

What kind of websites you're popping on? Well, I Googled. I was worried I had an abscessed tooth, so I Googled abscessed tooth and then I found that story. No, it just happened to be about Alaska. I'm like, I'm on my way there. Wasn't Jim Gaffigan in Alaska when his appendix ruptured or something? I don't know. I looked that up. I feel like just like a couple years ago, he had to be helicoptered out because his appendix ruptured and he was in the middle of nowhere in Alaska. Yeah.

Yeah, that's another thing to think about, being that far away. You know, like a town with no, I understand how it's romantic to be in a city with no government, but I'd like a hospital nearby. Yeah. You know, yeah, in Alaska. Anchorage.

Anchorage is a real city. Yeah. That's a breeze, Jim. I think he was... Come on. If I could pick a place to lose my appendix, it'd be in Anchorage, Alaska. Yeah. But didn't it... I think he was out in the middle of nowhere and they had a helicopter amount. Yeah, that's crazy. I know they have at least one comedy club there because Billy Wayne Davis did it this weekend.

He was promoting. They do. Yeah, there's some comedy going on in Anchorage for sure. Anchorage is like a real city. You just... You'd like just buildings down. They have big buildings. If you're in it, you're like, this could be anywhere. Oh, yeah. This could... You could pick this up and put this in Nebraska. Yeah, yeah. Half of Alaska... Is that where you stayed a lot? For the first couple days.

Like at a regular hotel. Just at like a Hilton downtown. And then we took the railroad, and that's when you stop in these smaller cities on the way out. People were whistling, stopping. Foot whistles, stopping. He just hops on. I want to go down and talk to him. And he, excuse me, sits down next to you. What is he? I mean, it's like, yeah. They looked like what you'd think. I mean, dirty face, huge beards. That's not what I was thinking. What were you thinking? Suit and tie? Yeah. That's what I am.

I just picture like the reverend. The revenant? Yeah, the revenant. That was kind of what it was like, yeah. Yeah, like he just pops on and then he just sits there and you're like. Just growling. In your Notre Dame hat. You're just staring at him. Your NASCAR jacket. Yeah, your big flashy NASCAR. And he's like, what are you? You're like a billionaire type? Like he just thinks you're a sign of money. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

17 of the tallest of 20 tallest mountain peaks in the U S or in Alaska. Hmm.

Denali is the tallest mountain in the U.S., which I was like, I don't even heard of this because five years ago it changed its name from Mount McKinley. Mount McKinley, yeah. Oh, and now they're Denali? Mm-hmm. Why did they change the name? Denali was what the indigenous Alaskans called it. Yeah. And then I think McKinley was running for president. I think he was president. At some point he's like, just name it after me, and they're like, all right.

and nobody really wanted to there that's what they say there oh got a little let's go folks hello folks saying yeah mckinley that's funny mckinley's like nah they want it they want to call it that and you can be like okay i guess we'll call it mckinley uh mt mckinley when did they change it back five years ago oh really i think it was or five or six i mean i was like i've never heard of denali and then i looked it up and they're like well

2015, 2016, something like that. I'll tell you how recently it's some of the museums we went to whenever they had McKinley written, you could see they had like put a piece of tape over it and then they wrote Denali over it.

So it must've been pretty recently. Well, McKinley got it on there for a bit. Yeah. Yeah. And then finally. Like over a hundred years, I think. Yeah. We didn't see it the whole time we were there. It was cloudy. Oh, really? They say if it's a clear day, you can see it. Yeah. And I was like, is it obvious? They're like, yeah, dude, it's obvious. If you see it, you know, that's the one, but we never did. But you were in Denali, the park? The park. And that's where Denali, the mountain, Denali's in there. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's how you see any of those mountains. Like what's Mount Hood? Mount Rainier? Mount Rainier. Yeah, it's like...

It's just there. Yeah. It's like if you see a class photo and they have an NBA player in his elementary school that's just taller than the teacher. Yeah. And you're like, oh. That's the one? Yeah. Obviously. That's who we're going to talk to? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Did you go to Nome? No. That's where the dinner ride is ran from Anchorage to Nome. I was just wondering how long that was.

We went to an Iditarod, this guy Dallas Seavey, who's won the Iditarod, I think, three or four times. He had a bit of a dynasty going there. We went to his compound and did sled racing, dog sled racing. Oh, you did? With his dogs. Yeah, me and Lucy. You like mushed.

We didn't mush them, but we're on... We had four of them hooked up to us. You're on the dogs? No, we're not. Sitting on the dogs. I will say for me, they broke... See that dog sitting by the plane? He's like...

Okay. All right. I'll take them. I'll take them. Well, they broke out the Iditarod champions for me. Yeah. The dogs that they're like, this one won the Iditarod last year. I was like, yeah, I need the cream of the crop. The real deal. And how fast would you go? Was Brian there asking for his autograph? No.

I would have been. Trying to get his paw print. He puts his paw in mud and gets it on a piece of paper. That's the dog that won the... Is that him? That's Dallas Seavey, who's won the Iditarod a few times. And that's one of the dogs. This is what it looks like. See these little things? These little chariots back there? You got basically handbrakes. And they say...

When the dogs are running, you got to keep those handbrakes at least halfway done. Because if you totally let go of the brakes, they just let loose. They want to sprint. Those dogs, that's all they want to do is sprint. And I let them go a couple times. Yeah. And we really got rolling. I was like, oh, man. And you're on no snow. No, yeah, it's dry. There's not snow up there at this point. Yeah.

But every time I'd break, I was kind of, you know, I was bad at it at first. I'd never controlled dogs before. I hit the brakes a little awkwardly. Like all four dogs in unison like turn around and look at me. And they're like, what are you doing, dude? It's like, oh, my bad. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. I'm learning it, you know. And then you let them go. Yeah. That's fun. Pretty cool. What kind of dogs are they? I don't know. Some of them are just like mutts, they said.

And they're nice and friendly. They're so friendly, dude. None of them bite. You walk right up, they jump on you. They just want to. Yeah. There's hundreds of them out there. So they would sign an autograph for them. They'd appreciate it. I'd love that. Yeah. Carlos Gross never won an Iditarod. Never won an Iditarod? Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm about done here. Northern Exposure is a TV show set in Sicily, Alaska. I never watched it, but I certainly remember it. Sicily, Alaska. Yeah.

Never heard of it. Never heard of it. Fictional. The town's fictional. But you've heard of Northern Exposure. Oh, Sicily, Alaska's not a real town? Yeah. Oh. I think they just made up the town, but the show was set. Why would they not just pick a real town when they were writing the show?

Why would you say Sicily, Alaska? And then that sounds like Italy, right? Like, isn't it? Yeah, I think it'd be Ireland. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, so like that. Then I thought, oh, they have a town called Sicily. Maybe I'm pronouncing it wrong. C-I-C-E-L-Y. That's how it's. Sounds right to me. Valedigi. Valedigi.

The Proposal starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds was set in Sitka, Alaska. I think I watched that. Did you really? Yeah. It's got Betty White. Betty White's in it. It's fun. It's fun. It's got a lot of... What's the roar? When is that? The Roar Boy Alice? Yeah. It's... Northern Lights. The Northern Lights. That's right. Can be seen 243 days a year in Fairbanks.

I think you can see it. That's what I would want to, I'd want to go see that. Yeah, me too. That's gotta be wild. I bet. I would love to go to Alaska. I think it'd be awesome. I never just, I knew some comics that were doing shows there and I never, uh, went up there and did a show, but I would love to go. It is awesome, man. I feel like I've, uh,

haven't done a justice talking about it but today but it but it was like it was it's overwhelmingly beautiful yeah that i just stopped taking pictures because you're like every i could take pictures all day yeah because everywhere is the prettiest thing i've ever seen well you get to enjoy it i mean it's a good that's a good thing to to not take uh to go appreciate it to go to go be overwhelmed with it yeah is uh yeah

You know, I think people would experience it in their phones, and that's a good thing to realize that. I tried to. I mean, I was in Destin, Florida. Same kind of thing. And I left my – I would leave my phone in the room, and I didn't have to watch. But I was doing it to be like, well, I'm going to go – we weren't going to see anything. It was like, I'm going to go lay at the pool. I'm going to do whatever, but I'm going to make myself just have to be there. Right.

There's a real reason to do it in Alaska. I go, you know, I'm going to go look at these beaches and I'm going to appreciate them. There's mountains. See the ocean. How big the ocean is. It's pretty big. How many? Rhode Island. Yeah. Millions. I started watching this thing on HBO, a hundred foot wave. Oh, I saw the trailer for it. What's that? It's about, uh, I mean, I'm trying to find a hundred foot wave to surf. Oh,

We're like searching. Talking about 100 feet is a wave that goes around a stadium. We're 100 feet people just going, whoa.

We did the wave in the sounds game recently. I mean, you don't see many waves anymore. Are you for the wave? I love it. I knew you would love the wave. You go there for the wave, what it feels like. I'd forgotten about it. I was like, this brings back memories. You love the camaraderie. He's attached a person in front of him. Hey, when do you think the wave is going to happen? Let's get it started, buddy. Probably about fifth inning. I don't know. We're adults, man. So maybe. You do it. There's so many kids there, though. That's why you do it.

I get it as a kid. That's why I like it. For the kids. Yeah. I like the wave, but it's like I would be like if no kid was at the stadium and someone tried to do the wave, you'd be like, yo, dude, just let's sit and watch the game. Right. But if you have a kid, you're like, yeah, dude, stay. You want the kids. You're seeing a kid. They love it. They love to get it started. Yeah. We had a wave at the Dodgers game.

I was near the section they started it. I was not one of the ones that started it, but I was on board quick. He was getting everybody. And it's just a bunch of young drunk guys that started it. Usually that. Yeah. Yeah, it's like college kids. Yeah. And then everybody's like, all right. Yeah, I guess we'll do it. I guess we'll do it. Yeah. Watching it die out is pretty great. It is pretty awesome. Just to see it, you're just seeing people that are watching it. You're just kind of hoping other people kind of start watching it.

They're like, I hope they calm it down over there. All right. That section's done. But in the other section, it's still doing it. You're like, okay, we've weeded that section out.

Outfield's like down. Those people are three sheets to the wind. Right. They're gone. They're drunk. That's what outfield's like. I mean, especially for minor league baseball because you've got to time it. There's not even fans all the way around. Yeah. You've got to watch it end and then time it. One Mississippi, two Mississippi. All right, now. Then hit it again. Yeah, pretend it's coming across the grass. Yeah. Yeah.

There's always a big play that often ends it too. Somebody hits a home run or something, everybody's going to be standing. Yeah, and then it's over, and then you start it again. What about the wave? Anyway, 100 foot. I don't know why I mentioned it. I just thought you were talking about Big Alaska. You're talking about big stuff. Bigfoot? There's a new Bigfoot video? I have not seen the video. Is it worth pulling up? It's like four seconds, but it's a Bigfoot going through a lake in Michigan. Uh-oh. It's either carrying a... I knew a guy...

I read, I didn't know the guy, but I read there's a guy in Mississippi that saw Bigfoot. And so... Yep. I saw that story too. And he said he saw it. Oh my God. Well, I don't have ads. Oh, this is just... No, this isn't... I mean, that looks... That looks like a person. It starts walking here eventually. I mean, I don't know if it walks on this one, but... Yeah. Yeah.

It shows a hulking brown figure, which appears to be carrying something. That video looks... Wading across the Cass River. Wow. That video right there looks like crazy. Investigate... Hold on. Crazy in a good way? If you didn't think this was legit, let me just tell you, investigator Kyle Shaw of the Rocky Mountain Sasquatch Organization inspected the footage personally. What do you think that is? If you don't think that's Bigfoot. I'm not saying it's not.

Okay. Yeah. That's not a bear. Like that doesn't look like a bear. It's not a bear. It looks, it looks, it looks like a man right there. Yeah. And like, you know, they always talk about like the great, the footage of it. And you're like, yeah, but it's a far away way. I mean, that's a crazy, that looks like a, like when the picture, when it's zoomed away, it looks like Bigfoot, but when it zooms in close, it looks like a guy. Yeah.

But man, what does that do? Where is that guy going? He looks a little overweight. It's a chubbier one. That's why he got caught. It's probably the guy's buddy who said, put on this suit and go over there and I'll film it. Yeah, maybe. You think that's what it is, Brian? Yeah, it's crazy, dude. You think it's the guy in the suit? I would say it's probably a better chance of that than Bigfoot. Don't you want to believe? I do want to believe. There's aliens. There's no Bigfoot.

You believe in aliens. There's no Bigfoot. That's where you draw the line. I mean, I want there to be a Bigfoot, but I do believe more likely there's aliens than Bigfoot. They could be Bigfoot. They could. All right. Alaska. Make sure you go. It's a good place to go. I recommend it, man. Yeah. It was awesome. Yeah, it was a fun time. All right. Next week, we will do...

Fairbanks. We're going to do city by city. Did we ever find anything on that island? Anybody live on it? Yeah, 43 people lived on that. Oh, yeah? Scientists? Probably. That's probably who it was. Yeah. 43 people. The Attu Station here. 43 people live on this island. And they're American citizens in theory. I mean, listen. You could vote. They're doing their own. I don't know their paperwork. Do you think...

Yeah, COVID, I mean, doesn't even, like, you know. They might not even know about COVID. They might not even know about it. That guy that got on that train probably doesn't, you know, like, could you put a mask on? Oh, sir. Sir, do you mind if you could throw a mask on? He's like, brr. I know, but it's a global pandemic. And these are trying, these are, what's the, unprecedented times. And he's like, brr. His oldest boy got sick.

mauled by a bear and I had to watch it with my own eyes because I couldn't fight it because another bear was holding me back and I was trying to get in there and there he goes and he's like he goes let me fight him and the bear made me watch and you want me to wear a mask at two station all right everybody see you next week bye

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