#51 Christian Comedy ft. John Crist
02:32:07 Share

Hello, folks. I remembered. Thank you, everybody. Hello, folks. I said it again. I had a couple of hello folks in Naples. A couple of shout outs from the crowd, but then also just out and about. I met some cool people out by the pool.

Took a picture of him. I was like, let me get my shirt on, please, before we take a picture. But it was very, very fun. Also, we wanted to show these things we got sent in from Adam Anderson. He sent us some stickers in. He's a branding designer. He works at home. He's been listening to the podcast. Once he finishes all the episodes, he starts over with episode one and repeats. He is on his third run through.

And he's on episode 28, The Calendars. We need to find out which ones he skips so we know what to... Yeah. We can find out. That's how you can find out, too, to make something better. You could be like, all right, you've gone through them three times. Where do you find yourself? You go back through The Sopranos. Yeah. I always kind of go through the... What is it? The wife scenes and stuff. The wife's... Oh, the Dr. Melfi, the psychiatrist. Psychiatrist. Psychiatrist.

I tend to kind of go, all right, let's get through that. There's episodes that you're – You just know a storyline's coming up and you're like, I don't feel like watching that. Yeah, it's a lot. So then you're like, I just want to see the mafia stuff. I was thinking that's a good way to – if you made a show, you'd be like, what am I going to – what do I not care about? I think about that in my act sometimes. What do I –

Here's a joke I don't care about. Yeah. So why, well, why do I not care about it? I need to figure out how to make it better or make it different or don't or quit doing it. One way or the other. But he made his Midwest Bigfoot Club stickers for all three of us. Golf Nebraska sticker for Nate. Tornado watch sticker for Aaron's computer. Aaron has zero fear of tornadoes.

A grilling sticker for Brian Barbecue Baits and a Unibuff sticker for Harper. He has an eight-year-old daughter as well. It's a buffalo with a unicorn and then with a unicorn horn. I bet everybody got it when I said Unibuff. And one cow tipping sticker for whoever wants it. Sam, we should talk about cow tipping when we talk about the state of Nebraska, which we need to do, the state of Nebraska. Yeah. We'll get Larry K. We got it.

It'd be a good one. That'd be great. Nebraska. We do Alaska, we have this guy just back in town. Yeah, man. From Alaska. Yeah. Married now. Yeah. Went on your honeymoon. Yeah.

All the fun stuff's over, and now it's down to get to the nit and gritty. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I'd heard that expression my whole life. You know, the honeymoon is over, the honeymoon period. But it really is like you get home, and you're like, all right, now what? Yeah. Now we're just married. Yeah. Now we can just live our lives, you know? Yeah. It's tougher to get out of. And...

I think the honeymoon period lasts longer than the honeymoon. Yeah. It's like the first year. Yeah. And then you really start seeing it. And every time you go home, you're like, oh, you're here every time. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Stuff like that. I went on the road with you as soon as we got home that night and we hit the road the next morning. From your honeymoon? Uh-huh. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Very quick. Yeah. It's the life of a comic.

Everything, all holidays, anything that matters, you're working. I'm lucky that Harper's birthday, hers is coming up, but hers is summer. So it's like you usually, comics, like the funny thing is comics, we don't tour as much in the summer. We're more fall, winter, you know, that kind of thing.

late summer, maybe you do some, but it's, it's definitely the slow down period. Yeah. Remember comedy clubs are still open, but usually that's when you get on a big tour, it's that's usually how it is. So I'm usually like, I've always, and she's July. So she's near fourth of July. So I'm always like kind of just block that whole, those two weeks off and then yeah, it makes it nice and easy. Uh, but yeah, my wife's birthday, my birthday at work.

I worked on my birthday. I was in somewhere. I don't know where. They gave me some stuff. It was very nice. You know, like Valentine's Day is like a big comedy night. Yeah. I don't think Lucy and I have spent a Valentine's Day together ever. No. Valentine's Day is a huge night. Yeah. Yeah. Appleton, Wisconsin is where it was. New Year's Eve is a big one. Yep. But you timed that one where you did – you got to watch the ball drop because you were at Caroline's.

That was the best thing about, man, Carolines. I always tell people if they want to go watch the ball drop, Carolines was a great place to go do it because you would – you get to watch a show and then you just walk upstairs when the ball drops and you walk out on Times Square, you watch it drop, and then we would go right back down to Carolines. Okay.

And so you'd be, it'd be cold outside, but you'd be outside for, I mean, like maybe five minutes total. Just to see it. Just to see it. So you got there maybe a minute or two before, maybe two minutes. It's timed out where you're really, it's so close that it's like, shouldn't we be going? Like it's 1156 and they're like, yeah, we're about to go. And everybody's kind of like loose about when you're going to go out there. But then you just walk right up, walk right out, see it.

So a lot of clubs, you celebrate New Year's on stage. They purposely timed it in between shows.

Or was there another show after that? No, no. You were done? You were done. Oh, that's even better. But like people, and they, and the people that buy tickets for that show, then they have like, I think they move the stage and they can dance. Yeah. You know, it's like a kind of a party after that. But you do the show up to that. And it was great because Caroline's would, you know, it'd be like me, Vecchione, Soder, like they'd get all of us that are very close. Yeah.

and then we would all get to hang out with each other and then just do a show. That's awesome. Yeah, it was great. I always tell people, if you go to see the ball drop, go do something like that. Go buy it. Don't just – you go out there and stain in those –

It's like cages. Yeah. You're just stuck up there forever. It's like, go, you know, I mean, look, go. And that's the free way to do it. And if you're young, you don't, what do you care? Like you might, it's fun for you to go do that. But once you get older, it's like, yeah, go pick, go find something, buy some tickets. And if that's like your thing, if that's what you want to go do. Yeah. You know.

All right. Did we have anything? Oh, you know what I was going to talk about? I've been watching, there's a show on Netflix called Startup. Have you ever seen that? I've heard of it. It's great. Unbelievable. I went through it and it's just, it's like, I was even trying to describe it like Breaking Bad, but cryptocurrency and stuff like that. I don't know. It's really great. But then I started watching, did you ever watch Manifest? No, I've heard of it. It was on NBC. Yeah.

I've only watched the episodes. I think I'm over it. Uh, I tried and it was, it's this plane. It's like an idea. It was like that show that they had where the, the dome show. Remember there was a, who wrote it? Who's the Stephen King? Stephen King. It feels like that kind of, or sometimes those like the idea, the hook is unbelievable. And you're like, I got to see it. Then you watch and you're like, yeah. Uh,

And I thought Stephen King did the dome one where it's like they're all in this dome. That does ring a bell, like a CBS show. Yeah, and you're like, why are they in that dome? And then you start watching it, and then you're like, I don't even care why they're in the dome anymore. Is it called Under the Dome? Under the Dome, yeah. And it's funny because you –

It is like you end up going to, it's funny to be like, you're, you want, you're like, why are they in the dome? And then after a couple episodes, you're like, I don't care. And I hope they have to stay. And you don't. And then you stop watching it.

You're right, because they got canceled pretty quick. It's just no one, you know. But Manifest, as they're watching it, so they're on the, I mean, this was in the commercials. I've only seen two episodes. I can't ruin it for you. But they're on a plane. When they take off, when they land, it's been five years, and everybody thought everybody was dead on that plane. And so they're back alive. They all look the same.

And so they come back. And so then, you know, they sit them down. They're like, guys, you guys took off in 2013. It's now 2018. And no one knows, like, where these people are or where they've been. Everybody's kind of moved on with their life. And so that stuff is, like, awesome. Were they traveling faster than the speed of light or something? And that's why? No, we haven't got to. I don't know why or what. You know, I'm sure it's going to be some magical. Sounds a little bit like Lost. Yeah.

Yeah, I never watched Lost, but that was like a plane crash, right? Yeah, it involved a plane. Yeah, I've never seen Lost. Are you going to ruin it for me? No. Oh.

But there's still some magic, some weird stuff. I'm going to go watch Lost. You give up on the West Wing, man? Oh, yeah. I forgot. I forgot about it. That's all right. Same thing. It's like, were they in the White House the whole time? Yes. Oh, God. Oh, good night. Most expensive pilot ever made. Yeah? Just the set. They just recreated the whole White House. So it was pretty expensive. Yeah, well, showed it.

So Manifest, so they, you know, this one girl in it, she's got a boyfriend, right? A fiance. So she's been gone five years. And so when they all come back, you'd imagine the families are pretty blown away that these people, they thought they were dead. They had funerals. They did everything. And now they're all back alive. And the dad comes back. Their mom died. And like, it was like, you know, and she's like, you know, because all these people were like,

I took a normal flight. They've only been gone for three hours. Yeah. Everybody else has been five years. And he comes back, and the fiance's name is Jared. And she's like, where's Jared? And he goes, he had something come up at work.

And you're like, what could come up? They've been dead for five. Like, this is what I'm about to start checking out. Cause it was like, and it was early in the show. You've been gone for five years and we think you're dead. You show up magically now alive. Yeah.

But I'm pretty slammed at work to go see you. Yeah. That doesn't even, you know. I'll catch up with you later, dude. Yeah, and I'll see you. I mean, she's back now, right? Like he didn't even. And I was like, all right, dude, I can't. And then there was something else. I forget. That is a really interesting premise, though. I get it. I'd be hooked to see how that. Especially when you think about that Malaysian flight that disappeared and we never found the plane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. Those, yeah.

But it's like, if you want to write that, you can't have a guy not show up. It would change Earth and the world. It's like us figuring out aliens. It just would be different to be like, these people are gone for five years and now they're not. We don't know what happened. They're magic. Something's...

out there and then you'd be like I just I'll hit her up when she gets in. So ridiculous. Yeah. In the movie Cast Away when Helen Hunt gets the call that Tom Hanks is alive she passes out. Yeah, she faints. Right there. That's realistic. That's realistic. Like that's that's what has to happen. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. You gotta pass out instead of like oh that's cool man I'm just today's today's not the day for this to happen. Yeah.

Any other day I would have been down there. But today is just not the... And she went to see him. Yeah. She eventually has to go chase him. Hey, how you doing? Apparently something happened and I'm back. And he's like, yeah, I've been meaning to hit you up. I mean, he was already remarried and stuff. So I guess maybe there's...

uh that's what she was she was already no he no it was a no she's the one that just reappeared reappear oh okay okay but it it still doesn't matter yeah it doesn't you you override yeah everything and uh you know so it's like showing some of their relationship all right you know i thought of that last night uh there was another thing in it that i thought of and i can't remember um

That was very early. I started just like kind of fast forwarding where I'm like, let me just see the gist of it. One, this kid has cancer and they, and so the girl on the plane like made this thing to help kids with cancer and like their survival rate is like almost 100%.

And so they're like, oh, let's put this kid on it. And the doctors, they have to vote on it, which is kind of crazy. That's got to be a tough job as a doctor where you're kind of playing God in the fact that you're like, we can't see everybody, so who do we see? And the doctor goes, he's talking to the person that was on the plane, the girl, the woman that figured out this new way to solve this. And they look at his case and he's like, well...

I mean, it's been six years. He's actually, he's too old for it. And they go, yeah, but we were on that plane that just, it came back. And they're like, well, we can't, we got a protocol, you know? And he goes, man, sorry. And you're like, well, that's, can you do? Yeah. He's like, well, they, I mean, it was funny. Like they're like,

They're like bending the rules. They're going like, well, we're up for some money. He's like, we're going to be bought by Big Pharma so we can't be cheating the system. And you go, there's no system anymore. These people showed up out of midair. They were dead. So how about you do go help that kid? If anybody got a raw deal, maybe it's that kid. Yeah.

And he missed it. He missed his chance because he magically disappeared for five years. Yeah. And he's like, ah, well, rules are rules. You know? I mean, it really felt like no one really cared that they came back. Yeah. That was the thing. Like, everybody's just kind of like, that's crazy, man. That's what the show's about. That's how nobody cares about them. Everybody's like, well, you've been gone for five years. Like, what do I care about? Like, you know. Uh...

All right. Will Riddle. Hello, folks. When I saw the topic for today was nothing, I honestly thought this is about to be the best episode to date, and I was right. Listening to y'all go back and forth about squirrels, wet pants, and wedding guests was hilarious. Thanks for all you guys do. Keep it coming. Thank you, Will. Will Riddle.

It's a fun name. That's a good name. Uh, Chris, we've got some great pictures of Brian, some great drawings, by the way. Oh yeah. In the shooting, the squirrel with the hat. Do you have them or? Uh, I probably, probably should have. Oh man. I don't bring that up. Good night. So you guys just seen the wedding ring I got. Oh yeah. Let's see it. I didn't wear it today. Uh, but I had it. I have it. It was a nice one. Um,

Chris Nicholas. You should be on Manifest. Yeah, I mean, you are. This podcast is a manifest to me. Chris Nicholas. I don't think y'all care ever. When I saw this episode, it was about nothing. I thought this must be a rerun. Felt like it, you know? That's funny. Yeah, it's funny. Jeremy Hoffman.

I was wondering whether choosing nothing as the topic would be a mistake. We got our answer except about one minute in when Nate uttered the sentence, khakis are fun. Is this the level of excitement we should expect now that all three of you are married? That is, yeah. That is true. That's marriage. You come down, you know, like old school. Pretty big day. Bed, bath, where does he say? Home Depot. Yeah. All the stuff.

Taz Harrell, or Harold, when Aaron mentioned he knew someone who went to a theme park and ate lunch there every day, Nate said that makes unbelievable sense to do that. I would say it's unbelievable how little sense that statement makes. How can someone make sense and be unbelievable? The only thing that made sense about the statement was that Nate said it. This podcast makes unbelievable sense.

Love the show, guys. There's a nice little tagline. Yeah. Unbelievable. Unbelievable Sense Podcast. It makes unbelievable sense. Well, that doesn't make sense. Exactly. Connor Lagrange or Lagrang. Lagrange? That's what I... Lagrange is what you would say? Yeah. Glad Nate said it's like that bird movie by Alfred Hitchcock when the name of the film is in fact The Birds.

Jeremy Hoffman, is he double? Oh, wow. Doubling up. Whoa, Jeremy Hoffman, the first double commenter. I didn't catch that. Wow. Unless I messed up. He's putting out good comments. Putting out good comments. Man, is this the first double? Yep. Yeah, that I can remember. Wow. Way to go, Jeremy. I think Bald Eagle is wrong about...

Why did I put him on there? Bald Eagle's a great one. Bald Eagle. I mean, that's so good. Because you kind of look like... You know? Like an older one that doesn't come down to the ground as much anymore. You know? He goes...

He really has to think about his moves. He doesn't, you know, he's looking, he's hunting for food. I think I saw a mouse down there. You think? Let me know when it's down there for sure. I'd like some confirmation. I don't have that many flaps left in me. I think Bald Eagle is wrong about Tony Gwynn being the player most associated with the team.

Cal Ripken Jr. is probably more of a legend than him, and he played 21 seasons at the Orioles. Also, the Padres currently have one of the best players in baseball, Fernando Tatis Jr. Tatis? Tatis Jr., and I don't know if I could name a player in the Orioles if my life depended on it, so Ripken stands out more. I agree with that. I don't.

I like Jeremy on the podcast. I mean, that's a good one. That's a good one. I still think if you just say, name a legend, San Diego Padres legend, that 99 out of 100 are going to say. Yeah, well, he's not saying. I think you reframed the question a little bit there. Yeah, that helps out a lot. A little Brian moving the goalpost base. Yeah, that's what I said last time. No. I don't think you understood last time. Apparently, me and everybody understood.

Everyone else commented that you didn't understand what I'm saying. I mean, all right, yeah. We shouldn't have even been talking about it if that's – I can name other Orioles players. If you're going to say that, who's your best – who's your favorite –

Atlanta Braves, I think it's got to be... Are you the most known? I think Chipper Jones. It's like, if you're being that specific, yes, Tony Gwynn's... Associated with the team. Is the most... But you said a person that's most associated with a team is Tony Gwynn, where...

This guy's what... That's what you said. And Cal Ripken, I agree that Cal Ripken Jr. is... I would think of him more... If I had to think of this, I would think him and Baltimore because he was 21 seasons. Longest... He never missed a game. Yeah. Like, you know, it was like when he broke the record, like people remember that. Tony Gwynn, like...

You know, it's like, I mean, to me, I would think Derek Jeter and the Yankees. Yeah. Because it's like, you got to think. Chipper and the Braves. I mean, Jeter and the Yankees is probably even number one. You don't think of any of those guys? No, I still don't think you understand what I'm saying. One player associated with, like, when you say New York Yankees, the first person you think of is Derek Jeter over Babe Ruth or Mickey Mantle. Oh, okay. So that's, okay.

I think I understand. Even with the Braves, I would say there would be people throughout Del Murphy or the Orioles. I can name Brooks Robinson or Frank Robinson or Jim Palmer. Who else are you going to name of the Orioles? Who? Brooks Robinson, Frank Robinson, two of the best players. Eddie Murray. No. I guess this is for baseball fans. You know, Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy.

These are Hall of Famers. Jeremy. Bernie Mac. Andy Murphy. I don't know. Who else? Chris Rock. I should have clarified for guys who follow sports. Ray Romano. You're like, what? Kevin James. I mean, the list goes on. It doesn't. You're trying to make it still fit for what it says. Yeah, I am. Everybody thinks of Cal Ripken in Baltimore. No one thinks of those other two.

And like you said, Fernando Tatis. I agree that he's one of the best young players, but I still think more people percentage-wise would put Tony Gwynn with the Padres than Cal Ripken with the Orioles. I think they're pretty close. I think they're pretty close. I don't know. Yeah. Maybe your age bracket would, but. I played the same time. You're, specifically you, 50-year-olds. That's what I mean. Okay. Okay. You know who I golfed with while I was gone? Wally Joyner.

Really? Yeah. Who do you picture him with? The Angels. Yeah. Played for the Braves, too. And Kansas City. Yeah. He's a great dude. Matt McCall. I feel like every Nate Landon listener has one of those episodes that makes them ask why. When they first see the title, this is mine. And we've moved to the Royal Family episode. I didn't say that because last time they made fun of that. Last time I said that, someone said, I know you're talking about something else.

Because I would announce like, all right, now this is for the Royal Family episode. I felt like that was needed, though. It was needed that time. Okay. Because it was a comment about the title. If you poke fun at me, then I'm going to... Okay. I don't remember that. I'm going to adjust. And I adjusted. But I guess can't do that on this podcast. Jake Peterson. Aaron guessing a popular 70s sitcom would have worldwide viewers...

Then I'll have more world. I just missed the word more. It like it didn't even exist. Would have more worldwide viewers than Princess Diana's funeral is why I tune in every Wednesday.

Yeah, my whole life, that was the benchmark that everybody always said, the MASH finale. I understand. I totally get why you think that, because for a while, it was the most viewed U.S. TV show other than the Super Bowls. Yeah, I guess they're just talking about television shows and not worldwide televised events. Yeah, I mean. I feel like if they brought MASH back, it could top it.

No. Princess Diana's funeral. Yeah. When you hear them rephrase even the next time through, you're like, yeah, why did you say that? I don't know. I thought. This is the Royal Family episode too, by the way. I'm imagining. Chris Radcliffe. Two hours of a guy learning how not to stutter. Great tagline for the King speech and Nate land. Yeah.

Some guy wrote the King speech. I mean, blood, sweat, and tears over it. Just knock it down in two seconds. He's like, God. David Bill, episode eight on marriage. Nate has never been more sure of anything in his life when he declares Oprah is the most famous person alive. Fast forward to today and Nate spends four and a half hours

Four and a half minutes squabbling with Aaron and Benjamin Button about how there's no way Oprah's the most famous person alive. I did. Do you remember that? No. But a lot's changed since then. That's true.

We were talking about couples and how if one person's really famous than the other person. We were talking about Stedman and how that's just going to be hard in a relationship. So I'm saying- You said it in jest. Yeah, in that way. She is one of the most famous people on earth. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, that is funny though. William Johanson. The queen is without a doubt the most famous person on earth. She's on the currency of 29 different countries. Okay, a lot of people made that point and I want to-

I'm going to defend my position on that. I don't think that means anything being on the currency. I feel like if Alexander Hamilton walked in here wearing modern clothing and

We wouldn't have a clue. I agree. I mean, it was a Tony Gwynn Jersey on Orioles hat. You're like, golly. And he's like, I kind of agree with both of them. And yeah, who is this guy? Yeah. I don't think the queen's the most famous person in the world. Yeah. But I think she's super famous on paper and in the context of being a queen.

If you put her in normal clothes, dropped her to Kroger in Middle Tennessee, nobody would go. Is that the queen? I think someone would. As a joke? Yeah. And the Kroger's got a lot of middle-aged moms in there that are. But if she's not in the queen getup. Auto zone. I don't think. But if you take Shaq.

And put him in... Everyone's going to know that that's Shaq. Yeah. So I... In that way, I think he's more famous. Y'all ask a lot... Y'all do a lot of questions that are like, you know, y'all are perfect for marriage. It's like...

I feel like it's like talking to two wives where you like kind of rephrase the question where you go, that's not what you meant. And you go, no, no, that's what I'm saying though. And then you can't even win the argument because you have some kind of, you're shuffling. There's a lot of little shuffling that goes like, no, but your main point is not right. And then you go, yeah, but you, let me make it right. And then you go, what about this than that? And then you're like, okay, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

I think the most famous person in the world, hear me out before I get cruised over this, probably for the last four or five years, is Donald Trump. I'm not saying the most popular. I'm saying the most well-known person. I can't imagine anybody Harper's age or older in developed countries doesn't at least know who he is. Yeah. And what he looks like. That's true. And in a few years, younger kids won't know him. But right now, almost everybody knows him. More than the queen.

Yeah, I think so. His look, his name, everything. Oh, also the picture of the queen on the money is from like 130 years ago. It's very flattering. Yeah. Yeah, when you do that, you ask to go, could we take it a little more serious than...

You know, they don't walk in a room and go, hey. She goes, what? And then they get a weird picture and it goes, come on. Like Seinfeld when Jerry took the picture of all the kissing. In the apartment. This picture looks, she looks at money and she goes, this picture is so bad. Every time I look at this money and they go, it'll be $4. She goes, oh.

And then she pays with her face on it. And the guy doesn't recognize her because she has a ball cap on. And jeans. There he is. There's the queen with jeans. She pulls out Levi's. She goes, my face is on all of this. The queen with jeans. Some of these, she's old. But some of these, she's way younger in it. You're going to tell me you'd be at a grocery store, look at your money, then you look up.

And the modern day queen is there. And you're like, oh, that's her. I just don't buy it. Well, they go hide and yeah. Didn't they do that in Notting Hill? Remember that movie, Notting Hill? I remember Julia Roberts. Yeah. Didn't she like go hide? Like she was so famous. And so she just went and did something. Almost like if they go do something normal, no one will believe that they're there. Yeah. That could not be in Notting Hill.

Well, we told the story last week about the queen out on a walk. Yeah. And the American tourists didn't recognize it because it's just such out of place. That's what I'm saying. That's the whole point of my argument. Yeah. Yeah. Shaq's big. So, I mean, then you could say, what's his face? Yao Ming? Yeah. Yao Ming's up there too. Yeah. I put the two of them. In height twice is what you mean. He's up there. Is that what you meant? He's physically up there. He's physically up there.

Eric Berglin, the queen owns one-sixth of the world's land. I looked that up. Is that true? Yeah. The crown estate owns like 6.6 billion acres or something. So she's like the landlord. Yeah. For one-sixth of the world? Yeah. That's like how much water there is. You know what's that? There's more water than land or something? Yeah.

Yeah, like 70%. That's what you would say to her. How much water do you own? Yeah. How much of that is water, though? Yeah. Worthless ocean. That's crazy. She owns all that land.

What has she done with it? Nothing. I don't know. Yeah, she's done a lot with it. What has she done? To mow it is a ton. You know how many people had the jobs she provided to mow all that? Do you know how many people got hired? Just the landscaping, dude. Landscape alone is a billion-dollar industry. Papa's New Guinea's not hard, but Mama's New Guinea has a lot of hills. I guess it's all the commonwealths. Oh, okay. Oh, man. Demelza.

D-E-M-E-L-Z-A? I think that's right. Demelza. Demelza. Demelza. Let's get started again. It's like, that way you describe the use of the knife and fork is how everyone in Commonwealth countries generally operate their culture, cut, cut, recovery, cut, cut,

The Larry. Cut the Larry. Cut Larry. Larry! Cut it out. Cut it out, Larry. How do you say it? Cutlery. Cutlery. I generally operate their cutlery. I feel like you're making fun of someone that's got a problem. You know? No, that's very nice. The way Americans eat is pretty sloppy in comparison. Yeah.

That didn't help reading that sentence that way. I can't even argue with it. I was like, what did we say after that? She's like, checkmate. I barely made it to the insult of the Americans. I thought I was done with the sentence. And we got a big show coming up at Zany's. Yes. We have July 5th.

We are doing two live Nateland podcast shows at Zany's. You know, you could come to both if you want to. We're going to do like we did last time and do two shows and we will... So it'll be two different kind of topics and you can...

And it won't be two topics. It'll be one topic, but we will talk about different things on both episodes. So if you did come and you wanted to stay for both, you could definitely do that. And then it will be a, that will be our anniversary. And that's going to be our one year. We're making it kind of a special show, two shows. We're going to, if you get to come, we're going to make, you know, I don't know. We're going to do something. We'll make it nice and look nice and festive in there. Yeah.

Look pretty good in there. 6.30 and 8.45 p.m. at Zaney's, July 5th. You know, you'll be tired of your family or bring your family. Maybe you don't have to talk to them for a few hours. I think most people are off work that day. Oh, yeah. Because that's the work holiday. Yeah. So here you go. Come do the Nate Land podcast live recording. We're going to do it. It will be our one-year anniversary show.

And so we're going to have a topic. We're going to talk about something. We're going to make it fun, but we're going to make it special. And for the comments for that episode, we are going to, we have a, we're going to read comments. There's an, am I going to say what the episode is? We have a best of episode coming out.

And we're going to put that out July 1st, I think. July 1st, which is the... Thursday before. Is that the anniversary? That's the one year, exactly one year anniversary. Yes. So July 1st, which is Thursday, is the exact one year anniversary of our...

We're going to have another regular episode come out on that Wednesday. But then Thursday, we have put together a best of episode of the Nate Land podcast. So all the... We're going to read... For the live show, we're going to read comments from the best of podcast. We will catch up on your other comments on other episodes. But for that live one, since it'll be an anniversary show, we are going to...

We're going to read the comments from that. And you can comment about... I don't know. The funniest stuff from this podcast...

that you've had from, you know, just stuff about the, it's always about the podcast, but it's like, what has been your, you can talk about what your favorite moments are. Uh, the dumbest things you've heard me say, uh, whatever, you know, we got, we got a couple on the episode today. I mean, yeah, yeah. You might have some today. Cut Larry. Cut Larry. Uh,

Cut it out, Larry. That's how we describe forks. You have any cut it out, cut it, Larry? Is that what that means? Cut it, Larry. So, yeah, I almost had another joke. I was thinking that if you were eating with a Larry, and I said, you have any cut it, Larry? He's like, yeah, I can. And I go, no, no, I'll do it.

But you have cut it, Larry. And he's like, okay. Yeah, he's like, so what do you want? I don't really get what you want right now. I'm like, I want some cut it, Larry. Or was it cut Larry? Cut Larry. I've already forgot. Yeah. Eight minutes ago.

I bet we will never forget after this comes up. So, yeah, just talk. So we will, for the live episode, we're going to read from the best of episode, the comments from that. So if you have anything that, you know, make it special. We're all together. We're all folks in this together. So let's make that one a special one. And we can't wait. So, yeah. All right. Today we have our fellow comedian. Hello.

loosely used improv actor usually i have like an intro but all right he's a fellow comedian yeah i was gonna say peer then i rethought it and then uh you couldn't just say straight up comedian because that makes it seem like you're like well i don't want people when they go to the show be confused yeah that's fair uh

What did you say that one time? When we were like, you were like, oh, you guys are comedians. And we were playing golf. And you go, well, I'm a comedian. He like does videos. Yeah. I was like, yo, chill. Yeah.

It's all, yeah, it's a little probably too mean. Go with what you wrote down and what you guys have prepared about me. I didn't write anything. We've never prepared anything. Oh, you don't know this podcast too well. I thought you guys had everything prepared. Like, I'll just wait until you read my intro and then I'll come in. You're like, no, we got nothing. No, we're not reading your intro. Oh. Yeah. Like, you know. Okay, yeah, there's no intro. The stuff that you've done. Yeah.

We'll read your 2019. Just Google me. This guy's got a bunch of YouTube views. Yeah. That's how I start. That is how I introduce. That's how you introduce. What would be, is that what it is? Yeah. Over a billion views. Over a billion. You've got over a billion views? Yeah.

A lot of autoplay stuff. Yeah, it's just like, well, the playlist, once you get my mom, it's like, my mom always says, you know, I get annoyed by the advertisements, but I watch them on your videos because I'm trying to support you. I got mother. I don't think that's going to- You say mother? Well, that's not really a pointed story, but I go, that's not really going to translate into dollars for me, I don't think. Do you say mother, though? Yeah. You do? Mother, come on. Do you? Is everybody? No, I say mom.

Dude, I got bullied one time when I was too old to say mommy. Like at practice, I go mommy, and I was like too, whatever. What's the age? What's the cutoff age? I mean, you're probably about to tell us what age you were. How old are you? I don't know. I mean, I was probably seven, seven or eight. No. It's getting there. Yeah. For a guy, I feel like. For a boy. Yeah.

Like, our daughter still says daddy, but I think a girl can pretty much say daddy forever. Forever. Because his daddy's a little girl, but a boy... Yeah, I was beyond the cup. I could see...

And I don't think, I think your mom loves it. And so like, I would understand that. Like, I would think if I had a son and my son called me daddy at seven or eight or nine, like you're going to want it. It's going to be sweet. And you're going to love it as a parent. Yeah. But I could see definitely another, the other kids being like, you couldn't say it. Well, that's like sometimes you want to see like sometimes on Instagram, like people kissing their kids on the mouth. You're like, it's too old for that.

Yeah. We just get right into it on this podcast, I guess. We haven't even said your name yet. I don't even know who you are. John Crist. They know. Probably not. That's the attitude. Sometimes you just see it and you go, that's too much. You don't know. Yeah, that was the big Tom Brady when he kissed his son. But it's all like

He loves his boy, dude. It's all like you're going to be... And I love my mom, but I'm getting trashed for it. It's the same narrative that's been going around about me for years. About your mommy comment. What about mama? Mama. Well, not like that, but mama. Mama. That's like a... That's a southern thing, I think. Yeah. So what is it? I don't know. People now, they say old man, old lady. The old lady, yeah. The old lady. That's like, you know...

I feel like old lady is wife, right? Don't you hear that used? The old lady. My buddy Travis, my true manager, he calls his dad old man. Yeah. He'll call your mom. Not to him. He's saying to you, he's my old man, or he says it to him. He might say it to him, too. He might say, hey, old man, why don't you... Why don't you want to... Why don't you come...

drive over here and pick me up. I don't know. He says that to me. It's like that old man's song. You know the song, like, well, I love her, but I love... He's like... He just leaves his wife. I didn't get it. I didn't get a lot from that song. You sang it for...

Name that tune. That Brad Paisley song? Yeah, you know that song. What's the chorus? Well, I loved her. But I loved the fish. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't you just say that part first? That's the main part is I loved the fish. You sang the lyric no one knows in the song. You're like, no, I don't think I know that. Oh, the main most popular song of all time. Yeah. Yeah.

Actually, you know what? I have heard that. And it was, well, I love her. You're like, that's in every country song. It's like, it's a small world, but you don't say it's a small world. You're like, what's the other words in small world after? You're like, you know, it's not like after all. And I'm like, I don't know. You know, it's a small world after. You're like, yeah, do that part, dude. Why would you not? Well.

Well, I love... Well, that's just talking about my old woman. My old, she won't ever let me go fish. And then he just says he's leaving her. Yeah. I'm out. I'm out. He goes, nah, I'm not going to listen to her anymore. If you're into fishing, you got to get out of there. That's what I need.

And you got someone in the way, and that's your old lady. That's your old lady. There's old ladies in the way. But isn't there like a, you know how if you call a woman sweetheart, there's like an endearing way to say it and then like a condescending way. Yeah. Like if you say, some girl's at the grocery store and you can't, like, let me help you with that, sweetheart. That's saying, that's a condescending. Oh, that's condescending. Yeah. I'm way off. That's very sweet. Like she needs a flat helper with a flat tire. I say mama. Yeah.

Let me help you out, mama. Hey, big mama. I don't think you can do that. You know, women have larger hips than people think. Oh, they do? Yeah. We learned that on a previous episode. I don't think I'm allowed to comment on that. If you want to get into it, you can. Who taught you that?

The internet. Wikipedia. It's probably not true. We do a lot of research on this podcast. Yeah. So, welcome to the show. It's good to be here. And we, you have a big tour that just got announced too. Huge tour. Huge tour. Yeah. Yeah.

And what's it called? It's called Fresh Cuts Tour. Fresh Cuts Tour. Let's go. Yeah. You know, so we have a big, so this collab is saying let's go. I'm not a fan. I started it, dude. How many times do you say it a day? And then people took it and now it's out of the mainstream because of them. It's like I started wearing visors, dude. I started visors. Yeah. I did. Nick Saban wore them quite a while. Yeah, but I took them into the mainstream. Yeah.

And then so you took let's go in it. Yeah. At what point do you think you should stop saying it? Because I think you're pretty far past the age. I told a 12-year-old boy he has a year left of saying let's go. Yeah. So it's by age or it should be by? Just you should. It's mommy. Yeah.

That's the same type of territory? I thought it was over my childhood trauma, but here I am. Yeah, you're with Let's Go. Do you think you even know you say it? No. Yeah. How many times do you think you say it a day? Other people started saying it. They made it annoying is what I'm saying. You weren't saying it. When you started it, it was cool. It was like when you nail a birdie. But do you not then move on from it and go, all right, it's been taken out of my hands. You've invented the phrase Let's Go. I brought in. And then, so...

Do you not, when do you let it go? Yeah, good point. When I think, when I see someone else using it. See, I didn't know that. They're doing it everywhere. I didn't know that.

I mean, are you alive? They're doing it all day long. Who's doing it? I mean, everybody on earth. Let's go. It's a very common phrase. I said, I tweeted on Instagram or put on Instagram, like, let's go, Vandy. And then someone was like, oh, you said let's go. But that's not let's go. That's, you know, let's go, Vandy. Let's go is like with a lot of O's. Yeah, like let's go. You're just saying it, you know, let's go.

They got your Froot Loops you wanted. Let's go. When it gets into that world, now it's too fun. Well, I think that's the same thing that's happened with Crocs. There was like, oh, fun, ironic, weird. You're wearing Crocs, ironically. Now they're cool. Yeah. So now we got to abandon them. You're talking to a man that wears Walmart slippers. But he's still good on those, I feel like.

Yeah, but he's, I mean, he's got a striped polo at Walmart. If my feet were in the camera, I wouldn't be wearing them. That's my idea. Trying to stay fashionable. I would wear regular shoes. But like, let's say, well, let's say like, go ahead. Well, we have a foot camera now. Foot cam. Yeah, foot cam. Yeah, foot cam.

We have a specific audience that wanted one, and so we gave it to them. Just one guy, actually. It's one guy. He does the Patreon. We don't have Patreon, but he does it, and we said, okay. Just meld it to him. It's kind of strange. Yeah. Well, that's like if, dude, what if Vandy started winning national championships on everybody? If it was like Vanderbilt, then you would have to be like,

No, that's not cool. Vanderbilt is winning the National Series in baseball. By the way, they're the College World Series. And they...

But if Vanderbilt did, it's like, I know as sports gets popular, I've already been, I'm stamped in. That's me on Let's Go. Yeah, you've been saying Let's Go before. It got cool. Yes. Let's Go is your Vanderbilt, is what you're saying. Yes. You've put in your time. You've earned it. You've earned the time. But now I need to be like, hey, listen, I'm not doing this like this.

But we were talking about how a lot of things when we say you start to say it ironically and then eventually over time it just becomes unironic. Yeah.

Like dope. Saying something's dope. Sick, dude. I say dope still. Yeah. I could say something's dope. But dope is kind of gone now. It's like an age thing. Like my age said dope, and now it's kind of people are kind of over it. But I guess how would I – same with the mommy thing. How would I have known? Fill it out. No, but –

Let's say that kid never said that to me. Yeah. Would I have just gone forever? Yeah. I mean, you're still here and let's go a little probably too long, so you might have. I'm saying this is good. It's like I didn't know I was coming to my therapist's office. It's great. Do you say – I've heard I think people say mommy or something like that. That's pretty old. Or they say where it feels kind of like you're like, all right. Yeah.

It feels weird. But it's not like I judge them in a way that I... It's just like going like, all right, I don't talk like that. That feels weird to talk like that. Well, this is probably a thing that I know that means... Well, I do it probably the most. I don't know if y'all do it. You definitely do not do it at all is laugh at your jokes on stage. Yeah. You hate that. I mean, you say them every night. Are you surprised? You do it some, but not really. Yeah. I do it...

I feel like, I feel like, yeah, you're like, is this an intervention or like, John, there's a couple of things we need to address. Well, there's, you know, that's it. Like Kevin Hart did it where he would do one where it's like, he can't get through the joke. And like, you can get through the joke. You know, I understand the audience. I've,

laughed on stage and I'm not laughing at my joke. I'm laughing at the reaction the joke is getting. Yeah. Like I'm almost can't believe it's getting that much of a laugh. So you laugh at someone laughing so hard. Yeah. When you're like, I can't get through this joke. Shut up. I need to tell it. Like that's...

It's a trick. You're not... You can get through the joke. You've told the joke. And maybe if you come up with it... Look, if you come up with something off the top of your head right in that moment, I could understand laughing. And that's funny. And you're like, oh, that was funny. Like, I understand that. But you don't think your jokes are not funny. No, but I don't... Like, I am telling them. And so, like, my job is to tell these jokes. And I'm not going to, like... I'm not going to laugh at them. I'll have little laughs. Like, I could have little, like...

you know, like kind of weird pauses or something where it's like a little tiny kind of a thing. But the show shouldn't be, you shouldn't get a laugh off laughing off your joke. That's not the point of writing a joke. Like the joke should be good enough that I make you laugh. I shouldn't be, you shouldn't be, you're laughing because I can't, like he couldn't, like you're laughing because he can't get through his own joke. Or you can't get, yeah, it is, it does kind of give me a laugh if I laugh and then the people laugh. And like it,

How many words do you think you're actually saying on stage? It's a lot of laughs. Five. How much time do you do it between your laughs? 10, 15 minutes? Yeah, no, I just think I let it. An hour set? Well, so a lot of people say in the comments, like, oh, my favorite part is when you laugh. But then the people that hate it aren't saying anything. They're just not following. That's like, all right. So that was like when in SNL when they talked about like. Like Fallon would do it. Yeah, when you break, right? Everybody loves that. I love that. Everybody loves that.

When they do it. But if you're the way that other people would look at it sometimes is they'd be like, well, I'm supposed to be really good. And like, I shouldn't be. The other actors you talk about. Yeah. The other actors are like, well, the stuff we write is the thing that's supposed to be making you laugh. It shouldn't be you breaking character.

That shouldn't be what the laugh's about. Yeah. That means you're, you know, it's like, I'm going to laugh at anybody that starts laughing. A stranger starts laughing. You start cracking up. You start laughing. So the jokes are what I believe is the thing that should be. Yeah. So if I don't have that is what you're saying, then I could just go with laughter. Yeah. I mean, I think you do. I've done that. Yeah.

I've been going through a set halfway through. I'm like, I'm not going to be able to fill my time. So I start laughing more. I did see a guy. This is a true story. Steven AJ, my buddy. I mentioned his name because he did it. He goes, all I'm going to do is just laugh for the whole set. And he did a 10-minute set. And by the end, it was crushing. I promise you. He never said a word. Never said a word. He just started laughing. And then it would trail off. And then he'd go, hmm.

Why are you laughing? He just started laughing because I did that. He knew it was a thing. Yeah, I understand why it is funny. I understand. That would be a tough special. That would be a tough Netflix special. I understand it's funny, but it's like, I don't know. But I also, I do it, and I see comics do it, and I get annoyed with it. I'm like, oh, he's just like...

I get annoyed and other people do it. Well, there's a lot of tricks. And so then people don't realize that there's tricks. Like there's a lot of stuff that you can do that, you know, laughing at your own joke. What's another trick? I know the one you do. What? Where you like say the punchline, then you say like two or three words after it to like trail it off. Like it. And so it came out. But, you know, like you say, like a little, like a preposition or a phrase right after your punchline. But I would look at it as like that's not, that's my rhythm of how I was. I'm not...

It's not a trick. Yeah, it's not a trick. It's just like you're... But I see... I also do see... This was inside comedy. We're like, all of your listeners, like, we don't care about this. But I do see a lot of Nashville comics doing you. They're like, Nate does this. Would you say that?

Nate kind of does this and it works for him. I'm going to try to do that. I caught myself putting my hand behind my back like Nate very early on and somebody called me out and I didn't even know I was doing it. But you come for me after Let's Go, but this guy's taking your ass. That is true. How about you go? You go! You go! You go. Uh...

No, I understand people can get influenced. Yeah. So everybody's kind of got that. I had a ton of comics I was influenced by and did. And you got to catch it. Brian Regan was a big one. There were people like, and there's still people that do do that. And you just got to catch yourself. That's fine. That's always fine. You just got to catch yourself. And you eventually, when you're young, it's like, yeah, you're going to get influenced by comics. Yeah.

And so you, but you end up just kind of, you got to police yourself or you have someone, a friend that comes and goes, Hey man, you're, you're doing this thing. I was doing this Hot Pockets bit and I was like, that's Jim Gaffigan. It's like, okay. Well, what's funny, it's not even really always about a bit. It's about the cadence.

And Giannis, we had Giannis on here. Giannis used to go crazy about that where he's like, worse than the joke stealing was a cadence stealing. When you tell, when you steal how someone tells a joke, that's everything, dude. Like that's when you, when you, if you told a joke like Brian Regan, I don't know if I, I'm trying to think if I could, you know. You could do like a, like Theo has a very unique way to tell a story. Yeah. And I, yeah, you were like, yeah, same type thing. It's like, oh, that,

he's doing him he's doing him and so he's figured a way out so if you like you know how long it took for him to figure that out and if you just walk in and take that yeah that rhythm and take that cadence from him that's way worse because then it's like stealing their fishing pole versus stealing the fish yeah right is that a good oh it's like i thought that was pretty good that's philosophical hey thank you

Are those what really drive you? What was it? It's like stealing what? It's like teaching a man how to fish versus giving him fish. Yeah. It's like stealing a joke is like stealing fish from him. But when you steal the cadence, you're taking the fishing pole. Yeah. Ralphie May. Does that make sense? I don't think so. I got less confident in it as I explained it. Yeah, yeah. I know. That's why I wanted you to explain it. And they...

Ralphie May said, he said, he's like, yo, dude, they got a bucket, but they can't get to the well. Meaning they can come dip their bucket in your well, but they don't have the source. Yeah. Somebody taking your jokes. Because he goes, people steal my jokes all the time. They can dip the bucket in the well, but they ain't got the source. Well, say a joke, guys. Yeah. Say a joke. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's not bad. I don't like it. I have a big thing. That was better than his. I don't think people steal jokes as much as people think.

I agree with that. I've always, have we ever talked about that or no? Yeah, we talked about it early on. On this, yeah. Yeah. I think it's way overblown. I agree with that. I think, I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it doesn't need to be policed by everybody. If you hear someone have a joke that sounds like someone else's joke, people are going to have the same kind of jokes. Yeah, yeah.

I don't think it's a gigantic kind of thing. Like I've heard probably in the past, I mean, we go to Zanies right three or four times a week if we're off. And it was like, so it's like if you walk into a restaurant, you got to wear a mask, but if you sit down, COVID hangs at about six feet. I've heard that 20 times. Yeah. But that's not stolen. No. That's just...

Yeah, regular people are doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can be like, oh, if someone else was doing like I was driving to the mountain and saw a dead horse, they'd be like, okay, that's Nate Barkadze's joke. That's a very, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, if someone had a dead horse joke. You'd be like, I think we covered that topic. I mean, they could be, mine's a whole story. That's what I want your comedy to be is you want it to be where no one can really. Can't be stolen. It can't be told. Yeah. Like you almost want someone to be like, I don't, you know, sometimes they're like, I don't even know why I laugh.

Like they don't, you know, like there's no, like there's something that they can't figure out. So like Brian's act. Bait. Yeah. Yeah. It's like. You could steal that pretty simple. From the back of a cereal box. Oh my God. I don't know. I don't know. I could have a dead horse joke. That just felt like a very funny thing. It's connected dots. It's a maze. Yeah.

Trying to find the punchline. We punched down on this podcast. Yeah, literally. This is the only podcast I've ever been on that I just get crushed the whole time. It's fun. But I did say that I put it in the group text because I said I saw Bates killing. Yeah. To be fair. But I didn't want to sound like I was... Bates had a big weekend. A huge weekend. I did. What was your whole weekend? So I was with Angela Johnson at Stand Up Live in Huntsville. Name drop. Thursday, Friday. Well, he just told me to have a weekend. He just said I was in Huntsville, but...

Well, it was sold out crowd. I feel like that would make me seem bigger than I was. Guys, I was doing sold out shows in Huntsville all weekend. I don't know how Nate feels about that. And those shows were great. And then I came back Sunday, did my own show at Zany's, headlined that. How was that? It was great. A lot of folks there. Oh, yeah? That's cool. That's nice. I don't think anybody came just because of me. That's not true. Well, let me finish. No.

It's very true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let him talk. Let the boy talk.

A few folks told me they came to Nashville for the weekend and made me part of their weekend. So that's what everybody's weekend is. That counts. That's when you go to shows. That's like when I do shows in Vegas, people come all over. Yeah. You're a part of what they're doing. Yeah. And I'm very honored for that. I mean, you want them to get in the car and drive home right after your show? Like that's the only way to make you feel good? But I mean, I'm just saying, you obviously have tons of people that come to town just for you. But they make a whole thing about it.

So you said they were like, we're going to Nashville the weekend of the 12th. Oh, Brian happens to be there. Or let's book our schedule around Brian, then stay for the weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas they may build a weekend around coming for your show. But I was very thrilled. Everyone was great, very nice. And then I left Zaney's and went over to the Ryman and opened for Leanne Morgan and...

And she sold out. Show there. And that was the one you were at. Yeah, because I put in the group text to y'all three. I didn't want to sound surprised that Brian was killing. I was like, Brian. I wasn't going to be like, oh my goodness, this is unreal. Dude, he's murdering. I was like, he's doing great. Everybody...

Leon's crowd loved it. Yeah. It was great. It was great. Leon did great. Yeah. Leon did great. Standing ovation. It was a lot of fun. Yeah. It's awesome. It's great. Yeah. Me and Leon Morgan doing an arena together. Let's go. Tupelo, Mississippi. Tickets are on sale, I believe. Now are the... Are they on sale? Yeah, they're on... No, it's the... Yeah, it's like a pre-sale. They go on sale full Friday. What about...

I was going to ask if, and I don't know the answer to this, because does everyone, how familiar is everyone here with the other person's act? Of their act? Like, have you listened to his special? Probably not. Have you listened to, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't follow him on Twitter. Have you seen all of it? Well, I got in trouble by Brian because I unfollowed Brian on Twitter. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, that's great. Wow. Well, let me tell us about the story. Okay.

He approaches me at Zane. He's like, I'm like the police investigator. He's like, I heard you unfollowed me. I picked up the paper this morning and couldn't believe what I read. John Kristen unfollows Brian Bates. Yeah. But you don't, like, have you watched all of his specials on Netflix? Yeah, I've seen all of Nate's. Have you? I've seen all of Nate's stuff. Yeah. But you haven't seen it. I've done comedy longer than everybody. Yeah, but if you ask him. So that's like, there's a difference. It's not like there's this, uh.

I've done comedy for 18 years. That's a long time. I've done it longer than... That's the thing. I'm older than everybody. I've done it except for... But as comedy years, I'm way older. And that's how everything's always looked at in comedy. It's not really their age. It's always looked in comedy. Comedy years. You've also got more stuff out than all of us, obviously. I've been doing it forever. You've seen his...

He's seen me. No, yeah, I've seen his act. I know his act. You don't watch my videos, probably. Oh.

Like every once in a while you see one. I'll see them on like, yeah, Instagram. Yeah, I don't know. I don't watch. Yeah, that's what. So I'm not. When I show up to play golf, we're all just assuming that the other person sees the other person's stuff. They probably don't. Very loosely. I mean, I probably know his stuff the best just because he's been on the road. And if he had a special come out, you wouldn't listen to it because you've already heard it, right? Or would you listen to an audio? I would think when your dry bar came out. I think I looked at that. I saw that. The whole thing? Yeah.

Did you watch the whole thing? I don't think I watched the whole thing. That's what I'm saying. It was 25 minutes. Come on. But yeah, we all kind of interact with the others. Like if you do something big, we'll see it. Well, it's going to be a matter of what you're doing or where you're at, like how busy you are. And I don't get to see many specials. But do you ever interact with someone? Like some family, you're like, hey, you're like, do you know –

My bits are that you're like, do you just assume they don't know anything about you? Someone in the community or in the neighborhood, you're like, you know, I have a... That's very funny. Yeah. I'm in my community quite a bit. Well, like at the golf course or something, they'd be like, oh, do you know I have like a...

Have you seen my thing about this or just like I leave it alone? Community. I never said that. In the community. Are you guys pretty active in your communities? You're like, yeah, I'm in the community quite a bit. I talk to a lot of community people. Like in the neighborhood. Yeah. That's the community, right? Well, that's like when you get recognized. The more you get known is like you have to assume. Like now I still, because now you're in a weird balance where I'll get recognized sometimes.

you know, it's not every week. Yeah. You know, like I will, it's not a overwhelming amount. It's, I'm not surprised by it anymore. And like, so then sometimes you, you assume that you do assume that they have seen your stuff, your stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And you mentioned it, but I mean, I'll,

If I tell someone, like if I was like, someone brought up a dead horse thing, and I would say to the person, oh, I think, I'm like, I have a joke about a dead horse. And they'd be like, yeah, no, I know. And then you're like, okay, sorry. I didn't know if you knew. I would say that every time. I'm not going to just assume. You know my bit about this. I'm like, you obviously know I'm a dead horse comment, right? And they go, yeah, yeah. And I go, yeah, obviously. Clearly. This is what I do. Have you heard the story with Brian? It's one of my favorite stories with a guy that was at your show.

Oh, and didn't recognize me the next day? Yeah, you recognized him. It was actually a girl. Oh, okay. But you recognized them. The next day, I was at a sandwich shop. I was like, hey, were you at the Nate Margesi show last night? She's like, yeah, were you? Yeah. I was like, yeah, it was the opener. I mean, it's the...

The audience can't even go out. They're like, don't go out near a show because you're going to get recognized by the owner. She was wearing a hat and glasses. Yeah. She goes, I don't know. He's around here somewhere. The opener is somewhere. He's going to come up and ask for a picture. So make sure you don't go out. You're going to get recognized by the opener. Or that, like if I, it's left as you get, if somebody says like, or like they recognize you and you assume like,

I was at like a TJ Maxx or something or somewhere like Ross or like there I go. They go, are you, do I recognize you? And I go into this like, oh yeah, like I'm a pretty big deal on the internet. They're like, no, you were here last week. I go, oh. You're like, that's the, nothing worse. Yeah, that's where you don't want to say. You don't want to assume. You don't want to assume. I mean, I would assume if now someone knows, even if they don't know my work, they know I'm a comedian.

So you at least get to a point like that. They look at you like, where do I know that guy from? Yeah, they're like, oh, yeah, I think I've seen some of your stuff. I was wearing an Aaron Webber shirt one time. I've told you this story. I was wearing an Aaron Webber shirt, and a guy goes, dude, I love Aaron Webber.

And I go, dude. He goes, yeah, I saw him in Louisville. I was like, yeah, with me. He didn't know about me. He forgot about me. Yeah, I've been recognized. Or you've been recognized in front of me. Yeah, we were at a... I think I took a picture. Well, the one thing I think about is...

Oh, yeah, that was on the street. Yeah. He recognized you. And I took the picture of them, and then they just left. After the show. Yeah. But there was once at Opry Mills with the movies, and the guy came up and said, hey, man, I see you as I'm a big fan. Send it to me, and you're right there beside me. And I said, he does comedy, too. He's like, oh, cool, man. Keep it up. Yeah.

But this is a better way of being self-depreciating versus like, have you ever heard like- Self what? Self-depreciating. Sorry, it's five syllables. Deprecating? Deprecating.

Self-depreciating? Depreciating is decreasing in value. I've said self-depreciating for forever. Which that is happening. Self-depreciating. He's actually right now that we think about it. It's like a car depreciating. Once you drive him off the lot, once he left the lot, it was always going down. It was self-deprecating. All right. You fit in with this podcast, by the way. I used to open for comics. They were like,

If you were like, you would stand out there after the show, the opener and the headliner is like, hey, don't like the biggest insult you could do to the main comic is take a photo in front of him or like the main comic doesn't want to be up like by the opener. So you're like, hey, don't say that too loud that you love me because the main is like an egomaniac and he can't handle it. Yeah.

You could obviously handle that. You'd be fine with someone recognizing Brian and not you. Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, that's funny to me too, but not all comics are like that. If it happened a ton, I'm sure I would get a little annoyed by it. Yeah, if it was overwhelming, like, all right, I got to do something. This is clearly... I just did a radio interview in O'Fallon, Missouri.

because the show I did there. And they knew me, obviously. They knew Aaron because he was there the week before. Did not know Nate. I was pitching the Nate Land podcast. They had no idea who you were. Those small places are not into comedy. Yeah, they're not into you. Yeah, they're too. You're like, Nate Land podcast, Nate Bargetti and Aaron Webber. Oh, Aaron Webber's on it?

They loved Aaron. I love that guy. Aaron Lane. He came through. Which, by the way, I will give Aaron Lane a shout out, their Instagram page. It's hilarious, isn't it? It's very, very funny. I have no idea who's making it, but they're funnier than me. I don't know. It's very... I haven't followed them yet. I think Dusty reposted it. Yeah, I'm going to... I'm going to follow them because I want to look at them more. So go follow Aaron Lane. It is very, very funny. Yeah, it is. It's very funny. It's great.

great yes they're so specific you i mean you you're not going to get any of it but if you get it you're like it's the best if you get it it's the best it's like golf memes to me golf memes are the funniest memes i've ever seen in my life and most people don't get it but like you have no idea they're the best you get it like and so aaron land's like that where and keep it like that aaron land that's what makes it so great don't go mainstream he's like it's not even me yeah somebody else that's like my land theme park was also great oh yes that's right we got an alien people that was great too

Very specific for stuff on the podcast. We're all about specifics. I made a video about vacationing on 30A. If you get it, you're like, this is unbelievable. But 99% of people...

It would never get any of the jokes. I don't even know what 38 means. But if you, have you ever been there? Well, if you white people go, if you've been there, you're like, I figured that's what he does. That's what his comedy is for. It's a true niche group. I'm a man of the people. You know, he does 1% comedy. Yeah. That means in his show, there's only 1% of comedy. The rest of it's laughing at his own jokes. Yeah.

I'm going to get called out for this this weekend. It's not going to be out by this weekend. I'll be good. Wednesday. Wednesday. Today is 1% of comedy. Is today Monday? No, today's

Tuesday. It comes out tomorrow. It comes out tomorrow. Yeah, all right. So if somebody is doing something that you follow on the internet that's annoying, you just unfollow them. You wouldn't be like, hey, can you not laugh? It's tough. But you guys are being honest with me. That's what they told me in rehab. If someone can be honest with you, then you should trust them. Yeah. So you say, no more mommy.

No more laughing at my jokes. No more let's go. Is there anything else now that we're here? How long do you want this to be? It's a two-parter. He's back. I don't care for the shirt you wore today, but I think that's... I'm wearing a band-aid. But do you hear I can speak? I was going to say. I know. I'm wearing like a...

Brandy's at the Cultural Theater. Do you know our material, though? You obviously don't know mine because you were so surprised Sunday night. No, I wasn't. You said that. You said, where did this material come from? Well, it was great. Well, it was probably new material. No, he only sees me on New Material Monday. I'm talking about the Ryman show. Yeah, but no one's watching him by that Monday show. That's my point. He sees me at New Material. He doesn't see my go-to jokes. Yeah, but that's not a bad thing. No one's watching that. Where would I have seen that?

Those jokes. And if you're a younger comment, no one, you can't expect someone. I know your stuff because I follow Trey Kennedy. Hey, wow. How long has he been holding that in? I was going to say, it's been in the holster for a while. That's the reason he did the podcast was to get that out. He asked me every week, is John coming on? And I go, I don't know. I guess we'll have him on at some point. I got a good one. Please have him on. I got one ready for him.

You and Trey are close, though, right? Yeah, we're buddies. Yeah, I went to his wedding like a month ago. Oh, yeah? Yeah. What do y'all have? How's y'all's relationship? What are you about to ask? What is funny? You're very similar. Yeah, people send me bits. Or people tell me all the time about his bits. Like, oh, it's not mine, but all right. I just go, all right, thanks, man. Yeah. I don't really interrupt it. No, no, no, no. You're both very funny at it. Because we look the same?

I mean, I think that's somebody y'all's mannerisms can kind of... He didn't even say... He's like, you're very funny at it. He meant like... He didn't mean stand-up. He meant like whatever y'all are doing over there. That's not stand-up. Yeah, no, I mean Trey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's you're doing videos. But Trey has an hour of... He has a live show. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You go out with him? I open for him in Huntsville. Yeah. And he kills, man. He sings songs. Yeah. Like...

Like, whose line? Wayne Brady would bring a girl up and sing to her. He does that, and he just kills, man. People love it. Nate's closer. He's a good dude, too. He took Nate's closer. Yeah. If people build their own world up and they have their own audience, I'm all about it. I've said the same thing. I've said the same thing about people that come through Zany's. I go, well, everyone here is trying to sell tickets, and you filled it. Yeah. That should be said. Hard to knock anybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And everybody, like, let's say, like, like,

I'm trying to think of who, like Jerry Seinfeld would never bash Carrot Top. Or Carrot Top would never bash Larry the Cable Guy. Because I would assume that all the guys up there don't trash on the other guy that's up there. Because they know how hard it is to get up there. It's hard to get up there. Like who's the guy that does the puppets? Jeff Dunham. He would never like trash, like...

I wouldn't imagine anyone that's his puppets would but he would say it's a funny act like his act is great who would say that I'm saying that's what everybody would say about each other now he's got a great act dude and you gotta do great act this is my own problems where I deal with my own like it's like as a stand up and then

what I do. Like you, I get very defensive and very of standup of pure. Yeah. You get like, we get, you get lumped in sometimes and you want to be like, no, dude, it's not what I do. And then would it be fair to me if I've been doing standup for 10 years and I was doing standup long before I was ever doing videos, I'm now like, like Lucy would always make fun of me, like introduce me as like a YouTube sensation to make fun of what I think that's funny. But they're like, cause they're like, Oh, he's with those guys.

Well, you would say I would be with those guys. And most everyone would say I was with those guys. I mean, what would you, what do you think you were? You think you were with standups with comics? I would like to say so, but I know that's not the, what, I know that's not true. Everyone's like, dude, we love you from not my standup videos. Yeah, but it doesn't matter really what they, I guess if you're a standup, because I mean, people know, you know, David Spade, no one knows him from standup. Yeah. But he fills the place. Yeah. But I mean, they're, so it's like, but I mean, you're, you'd be in the same kind of idea where you're like,

we're going to see him people are coming to see you for whatever they're coming to see you for yeah it's uh and then when they come see you that but they know you're a stand-up comic i don't think they expect it i don't think they expect you just like see i think they know they're coming to see a stand-up yeah i think and most youtubers or people are disappointed because they don't have an act you have an act yeah some people are disappointed but

Most aren't. Yeah. No, they're like, this is all me. You got to have an act. That's the point. Well, like if you go to see, like I remember when the Impractical Jokers, they were doing like Madison Square Garden. And no one knew what the show was. Yeah. They're like, we like those guys. Let's go see what it is. And then they create a show that's great. And that's, yeah. You got to create a show. Like that's what it is. You got to build an act. And that's what...

You know, and I, it's, I just, it's, it's, some of it is like there, you know, it's like being a, I don't know. You're like, I'm just, I don't know. It's just whatever. Yeah. I'm just staying up. And like, so then I,

I joke about the other stuff. You know The Greatest Showman, that movie? Yeah. I've never seen it, but I got it on my mind. It's about the circus. So it was people that were like seven foot one. And they were like, dude, let's get that guy out. He's a circus crazy. And then he goes, well, why don't we put him on stilts and make him 15 feet tall? And then he got in trouble. Because the fat man, he was like 250 pounds. Why don't we stuff him full of pillows and make him 15?

800 pounds. And he got in trouble. He goes, because it's not real. And he goes, but the laughter was real. You know what I'm saying? It's like, that's not... So whatever... You do puppets or you do guitars or you do... But everyone had the time of their life in there. And that's what we're all trying to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, that's true. That's true. It's not... So if some guy plays a guitar or all the things that we say are not true comedy. One guy, he holds his... Or he does...

or he does like, we usually say like too many like act outs. He's doing, it's not traditional. A guy with a microphone talking. Yeah. That's all it's allowed to be. Well, you know, like to me, like someone's cadence, they got to, like Dane Cook was someone that like a lot of people took his, that movement, him, the way he prowled around the stage. Kind of came and went. And a lot of people, no, I'm saying like they took like, they started doing that. Yeah. And I think it was a lot in LA. Oh, in a good way. No,

No, no, I'm saying we're talking about taking cadence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm kind of back to the cadence thing. Yeah, I got you. Whatever they do. A lot of people took Dane Cook's stuff because Dane Cook would, you know, the way he moved and walked on stage and then a lot of comics. That worked. Well, look at what Sebastian does.

It's unreal. I think it's unbelievable. He did an act out of a guy on a bird scooter. He's like, you're 56. I can't do it. But he goes, it was unreal. And he acted it out. But somebody would say, oh, he's just like milking the... Yeah, but it's like you're painting the picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. Look, I got to get better. Sometimes I can be too...

purist. Like I want it to be too, you know, you paint the, I paint the picture with the words and I even trying to get it. You get a little movement. I got a little more movement in my act, especially if you start doing theaters, you got to move a little bit more. Okay. So, uh, huh. All right. I'm all over the place. Uh,

All my shows are theaters. Yeah. But tell the story about the act out about the guy that I followed on Josh's show, Josh Black's show. I don't think I can tell that. I'm trying to think of it. All right. He had a, he had a, I can't tell it, but he had a bit about a woman with an oxygen. Josh Black and where's he at? He's here. I know. He's an Asheville guy. And John did his show and John had to follow.

One of the top five hardest I've ever seen anybody kill at the club. And the guy had a very... The guy named Mike Drew. Oh, my. He had a very elaborate act out. I'm nervous revisiting this. Very elaborate act out involving...

The mic and the mic cord and the stool. No, the girl on an oxygen tank and he headed up to here. The stool was the oxygen tank. He was pulling it around. He was doing all this. He was murdering. Killing where you like saw people start to come back inside. Like what's happening? And they were like, like he was dragging around the stool upside down and had the mic cord around the top of his head, which going right under his nose. And the child had to go up next. And he was crushing so hard. And I can't, I go, I can't.

I got nothing for this. I got nothing. And they're up next, John Chris. I was like, dude, just close the show on this guy. Did you walk on stage using a stool as a walker? And you start going, that's what he should have done. Oh, man, this is unbelievable. Yeah, so you say, is that cheating? I wouldn't say so. No, that's a... I mean, it sounds very funny. No, it's not cheating. It's not. Because it's... I thought it was unbelievable. People are going to do whatever they're going to go do. I...

If it's original, I don't think. I will never be upset. I think it's when it's not original and it doesn't feel original or feel authentic to what that person does. That's what I don't like. If you do it, I have no problem with Carrot Top at all. I think Carrot Top is unbelievable and one of the greatest ever. I laughed for 90 minutes straight at that show. Because people trash Carrot Top. It's like, who's doing what he's doing? Nobody. Nobody. He's actually maybe the most original.

Out of all of us. Oh, good point. He's using props. No one's using props. It's ridiculous. It's just... No one... Everybody wants to make fun of him for whatever dumb reason. Yeah.

Because they're not – but then half the people that make fun of them, their act is terrible to begin with. Horrible, yeah. And so Carrot Drops is wonderful, dude. He's terrific. That's out there. It's very funny. Larry Cable guy. It's very funny. He's doing a million jokes. Nobody's doing that. No one's doing what he's doing. So like when you – if you're original, I'd have no problem. Thank you. I thought so. I had no problem. I was starting – You have no problem with acts being different than me. You should be different. It's the original aspect of it that I –

I think I, that's when I'm kind of like, all right. Or if I feel like you're doing a bunch of tricks, if you're doing an act out and you're selling what you're making. Because the joke isn't strong enough. You doing it. Yeah. If you're doing like, if you're, if you're, yeah. If it's, if it's tricks and I feel like you don't even have, there's nothing even there. Yeah. And the reason you're getting laughs is because like,

For that guy to have all that stuff like that, that's very thought out. He's making it look like that. That's very, very funny because he's doing it that way. But if you're...

And he didn't even bring any extra props on stage. He used what the stage gave him. Yeah, yeah. It was cool. That's what I felt. I was like, because I grew up in church. My dad's a pastor. I grew up, worked at Chick-fil-A. I was like, I was doing all these, like somebody. You worked at Chick-fil-A? I worked at Chick-fil-A. Yeah. But I was like, I remember being in LA and trying to like, my agent or somebody was like, hey, don't tell any of these Christian jokes. Like no one, no one really going to get it. Or it was like very, and then I was like, you know, what's the difference between texting and driving and all like very generic stuff. But I was killing with these like,

very me who i and then somebody goes hey just i saw i don't know who it was somebody at the comedy magic club doing a joke about moses and the burning bush yeah and i got off and she was murdering and i go what what's happening she goes i she goes i don't know it's a story yeah if you didn't know it i kind of moses was in there yeah and everyone was this is in la there's like everyone was dying laughing i go okay so everybody knows about the stuff so i'm just gonna start talking about it

And then I've been like a Christian comic, and then every time I go into freaking Zany's and this guy's doing Christian material, just stealing my act. It's like I thought I was the only guy, but now Brian Bates is like, dude, what's up with growing up in church? This is my act. Look at him laughing. He's not saying anything, dude. No, I'm worried about you stealing mine now.

I talk about my parents or us growing up Christian. We're still Christian, but growing up, just a little bit of my... But that is who you, like if you say... Just about like being raised that. But I mean, a lot of people, everybody talks about that. Like everybody talks about Catholic or whatever. Yeah, everybody does that. I could see that where they tell you, you know, someone says don't do it, but then you're like, yeah, you got to just be you. It's like, you're going to sell that stuff and that's the world that...

You got to just be, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you have a unique upbringing. I mean, you have like, you have a bunch of brothers and sisters. Yeah, seven. Big family, seven. Yeah. Come from a big, big family. Yeah, huge. Like, you know. Dad's a pastor. Yeah. Growing up in the South. So it's like, yeah, you're going to grow up. Yeah, just talk, yeah. I mean, you know, we talked about Tim Hawkins, but Tim Hawkins was...

One of the best shows I've ever seen. Yeah, still is. When I went and watched them. But if you go to like, let's see, I saw Sebastian this weekend. He's like Italian family. I was like, I'm not Italian family, but I would like to. Yeah, I get it. I got a big Italian family. They like to cook. They like to like talk behind people's back or whatever. I go, I'm not really that, but I'm with it. People like relatable. Yeah. And relatable is something that really sells well to audiences. And because they want, you know, it's like they don't,

You get to hear your life being made fun of kind of in their way. It's through you. But like they get to go, no, we're all the same, dude. No one's. I don't talk about original, but I've always think no one's really original. Yeah, nobody. Kind of, you know, that doesn't. But I want your act to be original and come from a different, have a different point of view, whatever. Yeah.

But as far as audiences, when we all go sit out there, we're all basically the same guy. All of us grew up basically the same way. Not really that much different. There could be different parts, whatever. But we all went to church. We all did this stuff. I played sports in high school. And if you go to California, a lot of people grew up in a different kind of way. But they all grew up the exact same kind of way. Everybody kind of grew up. You're getting in trouble by your parents. Your parents were this. You try not to. Yeah, it's everybody.

But I was at the Leigh Ann Morgan show, who was like, I'm not the demographic for that show. But I thought it was unbelievable. And there was one joke about like, she can't shop at Victoria's Secret anymore. She shops at Soma. And I go, I don't know what that is. But I get it. Context clues. Yeah, I got to do a joke about like, you can't name your kid like a Bible name if it's a weak kid. Like I got a nephew named Ezekiel, named after the warrior.

In the Old Testament, this kid's got a peanut allergy. It's like, you don't know Ezekiel, but you're like, yeah. Yeah, see, I'm Catholic. We don't read the Bible. Okay. I have no idea who Ezekiel is. I had heard the name Ezekiel. But you get the joke. I don't know the story, but yeah, I get the joke. Yeah, so you're like, I'm a little out on this. Your brain go to Ezekiel Elliot first? Is that the first thing that you thought?

But would you say, would you say like strong running back? Yeah, that is done to compare that kid to the Cowboys running back. So you don't want somebody to come to your show and to Nate, Nate Bargatze show and be like, Oh, I'm out on this. But you're like,

But someone that loves you, loves you because they're in, in. If they grew up the very same way or their dad was or their parents were, there can be different levels of connection to your... You're like, a Christian mom from the South loves me, but the husband will have a good time. It's not like... Tolerated. Yeah. And they...

but you, when they come to your, when they come to the show, you want them to, I mean, you still want to be, no one grew up with a magician dad. Yeah. You don't want to be like anyone else's dad. It means magician. You got to have the things that make you kind of, there is something that's kind of different. Uh,

but it's like in the grand scheme of things, like the, my marriage is like a lot of people relate to that marriage. But I think I play a lot to women. Like there's a lot of things that I'm a lot of wives, you know, I don't, I don't know nothing about our money or I don't know anything about banking. Yeah. Yeah. Where a lot of, a lot of times it's, I mean, a lot of times it is women that do all that stuff, but sometimes the women are like, yeah, you know, uh,

The joke of, you know, no, don't give my wife a credit card. She's going to go spend stuff. That's the most common joke ever. Well, that's me in our marriage is my wife doesn't want me to have a credit card because I'm going to go do whatever. And she's going to be, yeah. But that stereotype does exist in the brain of everyone. It does, but it's a matter of who relates to it. So like that's when sometimes I can see four wives come out to a show and their husbands don't come. And like they get it.

you know, there's going to be parts where they relate to me and parts that they're like, that's my husband. You think he, do you think the wives asked the husbands and they said no, or they said, let's, we'd be better off with the girls. How do you think that conversation went? A girl's night out is what, I mean, some of them that come up and say it, they're like, just, they said they want a girl's night out. And then, yeah, I mean, maybe their dude doesn't care. He goes, who? Yeah. Ah,

I have mainly couples. So it's a lot of generations. I mean, a lot of times it's like grandparents to everybody. What do you have? I do shows. What's your typical audience? I mean, there's no, have you ever heard a guy on Guy's Night? I haven't. Had what? A bunch of dudes on Guy's Night.

I've had dudes, yeah. I've never. It's like two dudes. But I went to Trevor Wallace's show and it was all dudes, like all frat dudes. I was like, oh, I got to get in on this audience. Maybe I should stop doing this feminine mannerisms on them. Yeah. Everybody's like, is he gay? What's this guy's deal? I was like, I was doing an impersonation of a female. Oh, you showed them. Yeah. I don't get it. Yeah. Okay.

No, we were in that 30A video. I was going to title it Every Girl That Goes to 30A. But then I got done with the video. I was like, well, this is kind of everybody. And then I just posted Vacations on 30A once was the title. But I was very like...

I'm going to text this to my boyfriend. But then I was like, well, this is kind of confusing now because why is he acting like that? We're going to 38 for the first time. Yeah, you'll love it. A little bit. Yeah. But I know everybody in here that all everybody talks about is 38. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they love that. Yeah. In your neighborhood? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's all the everybody in this neighborhood. Yeah, they go vacation down there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We never went to 38. You go to the other side of town, we don't even know what it is. I had no idea. So you would say that video would be similar to a bit. So like if you are in on that, you're like, this is the most unbelievable bit I've ever seen. Oh, it's going to be the most. But if you're out, you're way out. Way out. There's no. I mean, you probably would get it. Like every town has their vacation spots or their, you know, that's where everybody goes. I was just clueless of all that. I don't know where people went. But if they were. We didn't go to Fort, like, I mean.

We did some stuff, but... But if somebody said, hey, Nate, write a bit about... I'm trying to think of something like smoking weed. Your bit would be like...

I did it and then I went to Taco Bell. Like you don't, I don't know the weed. You know what I'm saying? I'm not the guy to write that joke. You should, I should be writing the 38 jokes. That's what I live and know. So like, well, you'd write your, your perspective on it. And so you would, and that's what should make it different.

Versus like a... Yeah, yeah. You're going to attack it from a different way that I would hope I wouldn't do the Taco Bell thing. And some of it would be I would know everybody does that. And so then I would think, well, how do I... You would think of a better angle, even if you weren't understanding of that culture. How do you come up with a different way? I mean, you don't want to say the thing that everybody's saying. And sometimes...

Doing that, though, you end up saying something that's so obvious that that's when those are the ones that hit the hardest. When you come up with an idea that everybody's like, God, why didn't I? You making fun of 38 could be like, why did I not make fun of 38? There's a lot of people. Everybody gets that joke. So sometimes you're going to make up, you're going to come up with something that you're doing it and then everybody's like,

Wait, is there – you know, it's like when you think of a joke and you think, like, have I heard this joke before? Where had I heard – yeah, yeah. And then you're – it's sometimes – you can't believe that you haven't heard it. But it's so – it's right there. And then it's going to work, so it's right there. It's going to be like, golly. So it's going to –

And then that joke usually destroys. Yeah, it was very simple. Sometimes those are the jokes where you could end up finding out there are some similar jokes. And then there's like a guy on Twitter that is like researched and he's like, look at this word compared to this word. I'm like, okay. Yeah. You and I know a lot of the same Christian comics. Lots. Out there. Tim Hawkins kind of took it to the next level as far as making it a little bit

not as hokey and different type of... And then you took it a step further to make it more modern, mainstream. He goes, not better, but you took it another step. Yeah. A different way. Yeah, I think that Mark Lowry, who was a comic before me,

Not before me, before Tim Hawkins. He was the guy. So we're like, are you really doing it? Are these young comics coming up and I'm reinventing the game? We're like, yeah, every young comic did. We all did. And so Mark Lowry told me, he goes, I don't know how you're getting away with saying some of this stuff. Because I said, he said the phrase breaking wind.

When he was coming up and he got kicked out of a church for that. Yeah. For saying that. And then Tim kind of took it a step farther and I've taken it a step farther. Yeah. But I also think there are people that take it too far. Yeah. But like, I don't know where the line is. Like, dude. I would like to hear the context for breaking wind. Yeah, we should ask him. Yeah. He said, he goes, he called me. He goes, I don't know who you are, but I'm not, this is unbelievable. What you're doing is unbelievable. He goes, this is incredible. I go, what? I mean...

I don't know. Well, that was, I mean, growing up in a, you know, like, I mean, Southern Baptist, like, I mean, we weren't, my high school wasn't allowed to dance.

We couldn't have a prom. This isn't like in the 1700s. This is like in the... Yeah, 97 when I graduated. I don't know if they can dance now. I mean, the parents would end up having a thing off-site where they could dance. But a lot of Christian schools, they weren't. And a lot of it, it wasn't like the younger Christian, but you could tell that there was still... You had teachers that were in their 60s and 70s. So they would have grown up. A lot of it's just like, yeah, it eventually...

like eventually they allow dancing because the older people kind of move on. And then the, you know, people my age are then like, let them, it doesn't matter if they dance. And so now I don't care if they dance and people my age don't. And then, but I have other things that I don't want them to do. And then the next people come up and then no, they knock that stuff out. Everything changes. It just takes time for it to change. Yeah. Uh,

but not necessarily a bad, like I can see like break and win. I mean, there's times like I've been cleaner. I think then a church I've, I've heard the pastor say stuff like do it. He'll do a drug joke. You're way cleaner than me. And then, uh, yeah, way actually. Yeah. Yeah. I got a lot. Yeah. I never thought about it, but for, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I make a references to all kinds of stuff, but yeah, in terms of like, but you wouldn't be like in the, in like a Christian comedy. Uh, no,

No, but I talk about... But you do church. You've done a church before. But I always say there's a lot of murder. I'm like, this guy got shot. My family might get murdered. I say the murder a lot. Yeah. But I don't curse. I don't talk about sex. I don't curse. Yeah.

What is that thing? Was it an article about you? Like, here are all the Catholic comedians or something. Yeah, I got it. And he was like, wait, what? Because people try to... Or people said that about you about certain... You're like, hey, here's all the... You're like, what? Here's the Republican... You're like, what? I didn't... Where did I say that? They like to assume... Well, they assume because you're in an area. And they like to put...

So that's what it's always been about me with Christian comedy. It's like, I've been doing the clubs long before. So is it a matter of how many churches I've done or is it about what are the rules? Well, that would be. I mean, do you see why they would think you're on? No, no, no. I don't begrudge it. Yeah. 100%. But he's not in it. But he does with me. He goes everywhere with me. Yeah. So that doesn't make sense.

why he's, they label him as a Catholic comic. And there's nothing to act about. The fact that someone's writing about him is amazing. He wrote the article. Yeah. I think it's a blessing. So,

I don't care what you label me. He goes, I'm in the top 10. I'll take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Top 10 Catholic comedians. That's an amazing. Number nine. Yeah. But if somebody's like, oh, this is like, don't all the women on the comedy shows, don't say, here's your first female comic of the night. Just say I'm a comedian. Yeah. Don't say, here's your first Latino comic. People are going to write like,

But that's on them to decide. That's fine. It's how you... I don't think... I was never a Southern comic, but I started in New York. Oh, yeah. Southern New York. Good point. I was not in... I didn't come up into the South in the fact that... Coming up to the South is a lot of... You go to a lot of comedy clubs. You're featuring. You got to come up that way. Where I was in New York, and so...

I'm associated with that. And I think that's why I wasn't this thing. It's not like I was never not a Southern comedian. Yeah. I mean, I sounded like this, you know, in New York, but it, but I was there. But you're not, if like, you know, you find out like, Oh, Kid Rock's not from here. He's from, or like, Oh, Larry, the cable guys from Omaha are like, Oh, yeah.

I don't think I care. Do you? That it's not... I need him to grow up on a farm in Alabama. I love the show. I love... Well, Nebraska is... Or whatever. I mean... If it's not the South. It's not the South, but it's pretty... Yeah. I mean, I think, yeah, he's a big Nebraska fan. I mean, he's... It's pretty... Midwest has their Southern kind of thing. He might play to a Southern crowd, but

Because we like the things that he's doing. But they do all those things, so he plays them just as much. But it's not inauthentic. But he also went and sold out, I mean, he could sell out Madison Square Garden. Yeah. I mean, so that audience is everywhere. But he didn't grow up in San Francisco trying to do a thing.

Yeah, yeah. It's not a completely different... Yeah, yeah. It's with... Yeah, yeah. You've golfed with him. I just golfed with him. It's within... It's him. Yeah, yeah. It's definitely him. When you talk to him, you're not going like, oh, you're a different person. Yeah. But if you find out like Eric Church, I think he grew up in Detroit with a rich family or something. You're like, does that make the music? I love his... I'm obsessed with his music. Am I like, oh, bummer? Or does it... I don't know. You're like, oh. You know, Eric Church is like someone I'm like...

I hear his name more than anybody, then I'm like, well, I don't even know what he's seen. That's the legend. I think he's got a bunch you would know. But is it not, is that where people think of that? He sold more tickets than Taylor Swift in Nissan Stadium. Yeah, I know. That's what's crazy where I'm like, who, where is this guy? I love Eric Church. So do I, dude. I'm not saying, yeah, I could love Eric Church, but like, I just, Eric Church is like someone I'm like, I don't know. I've

almost don't know what he looks like john sing some of the the yeah the worst lyrics from one of his songs thank you guys come out tonight you're like it's from the live it's uh you know it's hotel california you're like oh yeah okay yeah you didn't do that part over winning so this song i wrote me my buddies yeah it's a great song me my buddies wrote uh

One night. That's a funny bit. And I go, okay. You don't know that song? You know, one night. Well, sing more of it. Stairway to Heaven. Oh, yeah. Just say that. Why don't you say that part? You know, bam, bam, bam. Hotel California. That's not really the words. On a long, lonesome highway. Yeah, just get to the point. Yeah, get there.

You remember that Springsteen song by Eric Church? You remember that Springsteen? Springsteen. Maybe. Yeah, I mean. All I want to do is get a drink in my hand. You never heard that song? Let me do it better. All I got to do is put a drink in my hand. See? Yes.

Oh, that was terrible. You're a music guy. Come on, dude. You're a Catholic music guy. You're going to embarrass... Catholic music comedian. That's why you're not the top five. Maybe number one Catholic music comedian. Oh, maybe. Think about it. I don't know. Gaffigan sings in his act. But you play the piano. And you can do that stuff. And then...

That you ever think about like what you could be in history, like everybody has something that they, you could be like, you know, like right now I'm the only person in history that's knocking on the table with two hands. Yeah. I'm the only person in the world at this moment that's doing this. Yeah. And then you're going to be like, yeah.

Huh? Probably. Maybe. About 8 billion people? There's probably somebody else not. How many people are doing this and talking about this and doing it at this rhythm? Everything. I thought about that last weekend. I was in New York City one night, then Opelika, Alabama, and then Alaska. And I was like, I might be the only person ever to make this three-day trip. Ever. Ever. I don't. Yeah. Ever. Yeah. No one's ever done it. What do you think for me as a comedian that I could be like my niche, the only guy that's ever done it?

Huh? What is that? He's the only Christian music, our number one guy. And John's whatever John does. Okay, wow. Like I need to find my own thing. Yeah, find your thing. The top guy in my niche. I think you could be the, I think you could, well, from what I saw on, is all the married later in life, those jokes kill. Yeah. Kill. Yeah, that audience. Never single till they're 50, then get married.

And meeting. Is that true that you met her in real life? It's going to be a lot of discount tickets. Yeah. A lot of BOGOs. A lot of top BOGO comics out there. Yeah, the club called me and said I won tickets for my birthday. Your birthday is in November. I don't know. They said I got free tickets. Top 10 BOGO comics.

Yeah. Let's both go. I would get one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's still enforced the two drink minimum. Yeah. So, yeah. Never would vote on that. On the scene. On the scene. Just wait it out. Don't be a discount. Yeah.

I just got my... But everybody still comes alone. No one can find the other person to go with. It's the, you're the number one, you might sit here comic. That's how everybody sits. That's the whole, everybody in the audience. Is anybody sitting here? No, no, no, you can sit there. And that's how the crowd gets going.

Anybody here on the BOGO? Everybody goes nuts. I just got my sheet for Zany's, like the breakdown. You see the ticket prices decrease the closer it got. So it was like four people that bought it at $20, and then by the end, people were just getting free. That was your first, did we ever tell that story? You get paid for it, so people might not know, but on Sirius Radio,

and Pandora and all that kind of stuff. People play your albums, you get money. Yeah. And, uh, you and your first, when you signed up for it. Yeah. I was the first comic who actually owed them money. Wait, what happened? Oh,

So it's a thing called SoundExchange. And if there's any comics listening to this, if you don't have anything up, sign up for SoundExchange. I think everybody kind of knows about SoundExchange now. But it's a really great thing where they go and get, they track your plays on stuff and you get paid. And there's a lot of comics that if they don't sign up for it, there's just money they could have out there. Yeah, yeah. Where who's playing it? Sirius, Pandora. They just pick it up and start spinning it?

No, it's like just you get paid. You have to get paid. The artist has to get paid. Why'd you owe them money? Well, I'm about to tell the story. Sirius gets paid over there and then you sign up, register for some exchange like he said. So now you get paid monthly but you used to get paid quarterly and comics are always complaining like, is this right? I don't feel like I should be getting paid.

And I wasn't getting any payments for like months. I'm like, I don't understand. I know I'm still getting played. So I finally got someone on the phone and he said, well, we overpaid you for a while because there's another Brian Bates who's a musician. Yeah. So you actually owe us $728. No way. So for a year.

They were just taking it. Like, I didn't have to pay them, but they were just breaking it down. So I would see my breakdown. I'd be like, oh, I'm at minus 258 now. You just started a tab. Yeah. He owned all money. I'm the only comic that's in the whole world. I owned Sonic Change for a year. So besides Brian, everybody else is really up to speed. Well, that could be his thing then. Yeah. That's your thing, dude. Yeah, the BOGO comic. Yeah, BOGO comic. Oh, my. Anybody sitting here? These seats taken? Yeah.

No, no, no. Love you. Are we still doing the social distance? No, no, no. Oh, all right. All right. Would you, so like being a Christian comic, were you trying not to be that? Because I mean, you know, it's like people always talk about that, you know, the label of a Christian comic. Yeah. And, you know, people put something around that very much so.

Yeah, like it's bad. Like it's bad. Yeah. Like it's a bad thing. Which it's not. I mean, obviously, we've talked about like if people are not familiar with Tim Hawkins. But that would go for all Christian art. Yes. Music, movies. It's like, oh. It's like if you label yourself that. Yeah, yeah. And that's essentially what you don't want to do. Like in the fact that like, all right, that's what I thought of.

You know, a lot of it to be... Not that I... It's not like when I moved to New York, I go, I'm doing it because I don't want to be this thing. Yeah, yeah. But I...

I did, like when I moved to New York, I mean, I was always still just clean and all this stuff. So it's like, I can just play in those places. But you didn't want to, like, it's like, I didn't want to be labeled that, but there's a point that I did when I was clean. I didn't want to be labeled a Christian comic. Yeah. I'm not like, you won't find anywhere on my website that I'm a clean comic, that I'm a Christian comic. I mean, I talk about my, and if that was what you want, the category you want to put me in, then I got no problem with that. Yeah. Yeah. It's not, but yeah, but that's for, like you said, that's them to decide. Yeah. Yeah.

If you want to, if that's uncomfortable. If you're just doing church, like it's, and then it's like, I think it's almost like who you maybe put yourself around. Yeah. Maybe that as you come up, like it's who you're around. But I think a lot of people should do that more. Like they should get into that world. Like there's a, there's a gigantic world for that. And a lot of great, there's a lot better comics out there.

like that are, you know, there's more, are not better, but there's more of them. There's more comics now that are in the Christian world. And they're specifically playing to that audience, which I think you were a big part of in the fact that like,

You going to make fun of the church, like when you're at, when you started doing stuff, it almost made, it showed people like, oh, it's okay to go make fun of us in this church. But like the first video I ever had that went viral was called Christian Music, How It's Made. And it was like very like insider. I was like, well, hey, just like it was a Christian music producer. And everybody in the comments, I never forget this. We're like, is this guy a Christian? Because if he is...

This is the funniest thing ever. But if he's not, this is the most offensive thing ever. Yeah. So they were like, we need to know, is this guy in with us or is he not? Because...

If my brother is making fun of my mom, I'm dying laughing. But if somebody else is making fun of my mom, I want to kill them. Yeah. Because it's like, oh, you're in it with us. You've got to be one of us. Yeah. But that's all comedies like that. If you're making fun of a city or an ethnicity or something that you're not. Yeah. But if you're with them, it's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting to...

You know, I mean, you start out, I guess you don't know what you want to be and you don't want to be this thing. But you want to be you, though. You want to be you. But it is, you know, I do think, I mean, comics should do it more like, it's definitely a path that there's... It's the only one that also has a moral code with it. Yeah. Yeah, the other ones, like, yeah, but you're like, oh, wait, what?

Hold on. And also, no one knows what the code is. Yeah. Because like Justin Bieber. Come on, Christian comedy? Yeah. Or Justin Bieber is a Christian. Yeah. Everybody knows that. Yeah. He progresses. He proclaims Christ and all of his. Yeah. But he's also like, but he came to Christianity later. So he could still smoke weed or still have a photo in his underwear. Like, yeah, it was Justin Bieber. And Christians love him because he's one of us. But I'm not on that list.

I grew up in it, so I'm on the different code. But if they found you, it's how they find you. Yeah, maybe. So they find you through that. I would say a lot of people found you through church. Yeah. And you were going and doing the big tour. You were starting to get into that other world where you're doing theaters and not do churches. Yeah. But your whole first tour...

is all in churches. So if you're in that world and doing that, then it's not he must be. You are. You are that. You are that. And why people like those jokes is because you are that. And so then, so yes, you are going to be held to a different standard. And the fact that you're coming there to do your thing, same way, you know, I guess, you know, a pastor could do versus Bieber, who's going to

This place that's not associated with this. Yeah, good point. And then he happens just to be this thing. I mean, I do think people tend to think... It is true that Justin Bieber can do whatever he wants, and the fact that you still... It's almost like Christians would look at Justin Bieber as like, we're lucky to have him be a Christian, someone that big be a Christian. If he makes a mistake, it's okay. Hey, you can be forgiven. We're not judgmental. That's our kind of thing. But if you...

You were in it from the beginning. You're like, no, no, you know better. You're not supposed to do that. And then you get too many people on the outside that go, wait a second. What's going on? This guy, you're trying to be a Christian and you're not doing the things that I think you're supposed to do. Those are people that have a problem with all of Christianity. Because everybody's... Yeah, and everybody would be like, John, are you...

For everything that happened to me, are you mad at Christians or do you hate Christians? I was like, no, I mean, if you... I don't think it was Christians that got... I mean, some got mad at you, but I don't think it's Christians that got mad at you. It was people that are not Christians that are mad about Christianity. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. And that's who got mad. Because they don't... Because then they think you're supposed to be better than this. Yeah. And you weren't. You weren't. And so instead of saying like, yeah, so mistakes... So like...

I would hope that most people that are Christians would be forgiven. 100%. If they don't, then what's the point of... Well, if you say like, hey, you're taking a job at a company where...

Like me performing in churches. Like you taking a job at a company where you have to wear khakis and tuck your shirt in. Yeah. You can't be like, this is BS, dude. I should be able to do it. Well, you knew that when you took the job. Yes. Yeah. And I knew that there was a thing and I did not follow those rules. Yeah. And that's 100% fair. Yeah. Any consequence from that is 100%. Yeah. Like, yeah, you knew that you couldn't do that. I go...

That makes sense. You knew what the rules were. Yeah. Yeah. Fine. You have to occasionally, I noticed, correct... Not self-correct, but I think you had a video recently about Christian culture. I forgot what it was, but you had to say... Thanks, Brian. I didn't forget my jokes. I apologize. It's not a Christian comment. But you had to say, guys, you had to correct, like, I'm not making fun of... Oh, somebody. Sometimes people go too far. Yeah, they're like, hey, oh, it was somebody, like, if you want to get... I was making fun of something in the...

in the Christian circles. And everyone's like, yeah, go make fun of this. I remember somebody, there was a pastor that got a DUI, and he got kicked out of his church. And they were like, John, roast him. I go...

Are you misunderstanding what I am? I'm not. That's a guy that's struggling, that is having a hard time. That's not funny to me. That's not. But I will make fun of a pastor that drives a Tesla because that seems. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah. To me. But sometimes you're like, John, get him. I'm like, I'm not the get him guy. I'm not. Get him. Yeah. That seems insane that they told you to make fun of a guy that had a drinking problem. Yeah. That seems like.

Ah, buddy, here we go. You read through the Bible? I don't see that in there. Yeah, this pastor got caught stealing money. I guess that would be funny. But there's always like a... I don't know, a good example. Drinking was such a good example. There's a tricky part of like...

Like, let's say, first of all, every denomination of Christianity has different rules. Catholics can drink, Baptists can't, Pentecostals can't. And so you're like, all right, that's confusing. And then there's like, all right, so the pastor should have a moral code that he can't. But then what about like the worship leader? What about the drummer? What about the guy that cuts the grass? The guy that cuts the grass at the church, is he... What does he have to do? Can he have a beer with his buddy? He can, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, but everyone – It is very true. What are the rules? Well, they would look at the guy that cuts the grass. That goes even back to the Justin Bieber thing. He gets treated the same way where it's like – He's just happy to – He's like, hey, I drink every night. They go, that's okay. A lot of people drink every night. And then – What about the drummer?

A drummer might be okay. I mean, look, it depends on how you are introduced to someone. It depends how good he is. If he's good, it's fine. No, I would say the opposite. If he's good, it's not fine. How important is he in the band? If he's not... If he's even mic'd up. If he's not mic'd up and he's not whatever, then he can do it. Church is the opposite. Somebody came to me... It's not like they don't go, he's good enough...

If you're good enough, you're held to the higher standard because the most pressure is put on you because we need you to represent this to so many people. And then you're the voice to all these younger people. Somebody said to me the other night after the Leigh Ann Morgan show, there's a bunch of comics, and somebody said something that was wildly across the line. She goes, I'm not big enough to be canceled. It's fine. Meaning like...

Yeah, if the drummer is good enough, then... Say their name and let's find out. I could lie. Yeah. But they could be at some point. I mean, like, if they... I mean, they can go back. That's where they can go back and find stuff. Revisionist, yeah. Yeah, it's... I would say it's... You know, it is interesting to think, like, who is allowed to do what. It's all... But it's... If you're...

honest and truthful, then it doesn't matter. So like the lawnmower guy goes, hey, I have eight beers every night.

I'm a believer. I love God. I'll come to church every Sunday. That's what I do. Not one person would tell that guy to not do it. They would be like, yeah. It would almost be like they love it. You have some beers last night? You know it. This guy's gay. He's at church. Yeah, you know it, bro. That's what it would be. That's the small talk. That's the small talk. You had some beers last night? You know it. So did he. Yeah.

Well, the guy that cuts the grass probably doesn't go to the church. He probably hates it. He writes, yeah, I just cut the grass. I know. It couldn't matter less, but I feel like I need to mention it. At my old church, the guy that cut the grass was the drummer. Really? Yeah. His name was Kenny. He did everything at the church. He'd show up. He'd be directing traffic. He'd cut the grass, and then he'd hop in and play drums. Did he drink? No.

I don't know. One of the top 10 drummer lawnmower guys out there. That guy might be the only drummer lawnmower. If there's a drummer lawnmower convention, he would be hired to speak. I like how he keynotes me. He's sitting on that information for 10 minutes. I was waiting for it. I'm waiting for the right moment. Yeah, I got a drummer. That's unbelievable. Yeah. He's like, I got something to say about this. Let's go. What is it about that? But that goes back to the same with the Eric Church stuff. He's like, what I was doing was...

whatever, most of the comedians, but I was professing consciously or subconsciously to be a better person than I was. I didn't necessarily say it, but everybody was like, this guy, he's in church. He's probably going back to read the Bible after the... And it's the hypocrisy that people have. If you're a fitness influencer and then somebody sees you in the McDonald's parking lot, you're like, wait, no, you said... Or you're a health and fitness coach and then somebody sees you at McDonald's. You're like, wait, you said you were...

Yeah. No, I don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. And they call it out, which is fair. But you weren't preaching. I mean, you weren't telling people how to live their lives. Well, I was trying. Yeah. I'm just kidding. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's the hypocrisy. But that's the Christian or not. Everybody can't stand that. Nobody likes that. Yeah. It's the idea that you're in the churches. And people are going... If you go to a church, you're expecting... You know what to expect as far as the show and who's going to be there and who's going to be represented. You're not going to... If he's at...

theaters and arenas and doing stuff outside of that it's a it's a completely different thing but if you're going to the churches to perform then yes it's going to be it's going to it's going to come with the territory which is like a good you know that all the politicians that said like with the masks and then they didn't follow all the exact same thing yeah like we don't care if you go on vacation yeah we care about this because you told us we couldn't yeah and now you are

Some of it is like, and don't get caught or something. It's in that way. Some of it's like, look, I don't even really care, but don't get caught and don't make me care. That's all I want. Don't make me care. If you make me see this happen, then you make me feel like a chump. Because you're like, I tricked you or something like that. No one really cares. If Eric Church lives in Detroit in a mansion, no one really cares. No, the music is good. It's like, don't let me find out.

I don't need to know about it. Like, I don't, like, I don't, it doesn't need to be a whole thing. Or if you go to like the Eric Church, are you like, oh, really? You're wearing Vanderbilt? Do you know what their assistant athletic director did? And you're like, what? No, I don't know if I'm responsible for that. I'm like, that's why I'm wearing the jersey. And they go, what's that? I don't know. Who are we talking about again? Oh, you drive a Honda? Do you know what the CEO said about? Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. Yeah. What... How was I going to say? I don't know. Well, I was going to say, I guess if people don't know what you're talking about, just Google. Go to... Yes, I actually got pulled over today on the way. I got here before any of y'all. Yeah. I came from Atlanta. My own house. I was speeding to get here, and I show up, and no one's here. But I got pulled over, and the cop goes... He went back to his car, and he goes, hey, I don't usually do this, but like...

I Googled you because you've studied, recognized me. And he goes, you're a comedian? I go, yeah. He goes, yay, free to go. Wow. But I was like, well, look, I go, well, look me up on socials. Don't Google me. That's what I said. I was like, well, did you like look up my, what did you, where did you, where'd you go specifically? Can I control what you are looking at? If I would have been Googled, he was like, you're going, don't scroll down too much. Yeah.

Stop about 2018. I don't think that's how Google works. Stop in 2018. You do just a 2021 search or pre-2017.

Yeah, you can get into it. Yeah. Which is all, yeah. But that's when you went and got all fixed up and now you're good. And now I'm preaching, actually. Now you're preaching. Yeah, so now I am an actual preacher. Now you got to the root of the problem and it was performing at churches. So now you're doing no churches and... Well, it started from saying mommy. That's where it started. That's where it started. Yeah.

I think you created COVID. Yeah. You get canceled, then we all do. Dude, I got ahead of it. I just got ahead of it by a couple months, dude. But see, this is where now you're being honest and you talk about it. Yeah, and go find it. But that's – people just want to be –

They don't want to feel tripped. Yeah. And that's how they felt. And that, yeah. And, and to be fair to anyone that did like, I'm going to, I'm putting myself in somebody's shoes. That's a mom that like is in the community, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Big in the community, in the church. She finds my videos, shares the videos with everybody. And that's how I got popular. People sharing my videos at the, at church. Look at this guy, John Chris is hilarious. We love him. And then to read that about me is, is,

Probably a bummer. Oh, yeah. A huge bummer. And you go, like, that's all rehab is, is like put yourself in the other person's shoes. Yeah. And you go...

oh yeah yeah i would like you said you felt now i didn't i did it trick people on but but i go if i was her i would be pissed yeah because i shared my platform with you to everyone i know yeah all the time this guy's and that's how i got popular so fast yeah you're like what thing about them why would they be like oh yeah i would be mad too yeah because you were saying you were something that you were not yeah i

And now it's like, yeah, here's who I am. All right, yeah, that sounds good. Yeah. But like everybody's a human. And what's been your response since you've been back? Well, that's what's wild is because when I got out of – so I don't know about Catholicism, but Christianity is very, very shame-based, at least how I grew up. So if you did something bad, you don't say you –

hide it right yeah and so everything that came out about me i was like this you can imagine i was like suicidal when i was in brie i was like this is the worst day and it's nothing worse a christian fame and sex you're like this is the this is the perfect storm of everything i was like and i got out i'll never forget this i went to five guys it the chick-fil-a was closed i went to five guys it was on a sunday and there was this family it was in hattiesburg tennessee hattiesburg uh mississippi and they were like john

And I was like, oh, no, they're going to say I'm a bad Christian or a bad influence on their kids or a bad role model. And they were like, we just want to let you know that we missed you and we've been thinking about you. And I was like, and we've been praying for you. And I was like, what? Yeah. It was very confusing. Yeah. Because I thought I had to keep all this stuff a secret and if everybody knows, it'd be the end of me. Yeah. Because we were talking about that. When you were growing up, your parents would close the door of your room and be like, hey,

If anything, God's watching. Which is a scary, kind of a tricky thing to say to a five-year-old. And if he catches you doing anything...

He's coming for you. It'd be fun to talk to those people now. They're like, yeah, we just didn't check the phone when we saw him at that moment. Yeah. We definitely said different. We did not follow the news. I mean, yeah, we just, you know, it was a Sunday. It was a slow day. I just haven't really like looked at stuff yet. And if I would have, I never would have approached him like that. I wouldn't have let him meet my children. Yeah.

It was like, what it was very, it was very like, Oh wait, what? It was very good. Cause then you were like, Oh, cause then if people like the people like, which is now is like people, my platforms are bigger and people, cause all they ever wanted was you to be, just say who you are. And then everybody, like if you're, if you had a friend or anyone come to you with honesty and,

And humility would be like, hey, I'm struggling with – everybody would be like, we love you, dude. Yes. Everybody. Any comedian that did the worst thing you could ever possibly imagine came to you sincerely and be like, hey – they'd be like, every human has unlimited forgiveness for that. Comedians are pretty – yeah, the comedians are a special breed in that we're very not judgmental and we're always willing to hear out.

Always, yeah. Well, I think – But not that we're just ruthless against the other people that this stuff happens to. We do think of them. But I think comics are also good in the fact that you're like, yeah, dude, you just can't do that. You're pretty being straight, upfront, and honest. And they're very – I feel like all comics – I was listening to the Seinfeld podcast. You get the –

I'd say we all have this gift of comedy or creativity or whatever it is. In that basket also kind of comes depression or comparison or anxiety or whatever that is kind of just a part of it. Yeah. That you're like always needing love and support. That's just kind of a part of the thing. Yeah. And every comic has this generational gift or talent, but there's also this other thing that they're kind of trying to

keep at bay a little bit so they can keep doing the thing. And whenever you see a comic, whether it's drugs or alcohol or addiction or whatever, Trump, I know how much these people love comedy. Every comic, you know how much, you know how good it feels. And if they did something that jeopardizes that, I have compassion. I'm not- Yeah. Most comics, I always think of that when they, if they do a joke and it's like that joke crossed the line,

You always got to think, in the comics' mind, they are truly trying to be funny. Yes. And they are only thinking about the joke. Doing... They don't think of the consequences of that joke. Yeah. And it doesn't come from a place of hate. It doesn't come... It comes from a pure, like, trying to be funny. And, I mean, there's jokes that are wildly over the line. Yeah. But you got to understand that person... I mean...

Not saying, I don't know if everybody, but what I believe these comics to believe or what they think is they truly were like, oh, I'm going to do this because this will be the funniest thing to go do at that moment. And they have no attachment to even what they are saying.

There's not even like a... Yeah, they're not like, I got to... They have no agenda. If you talk to them in two days and said, do you remember you said that? If they didn't get in trouble for it, they would be like, oh, I don't... Did I say that? I don't know if I said that. It's all just about, I got to be funny. And so like whatever I have to do to be funny. Because a lot of times saying the obvious...

is the thing that's the funniest. So sometimes it's going to work, sometimes it's not going to work. But it comes from a place of pure like, dude, I was just trying to be funny. I don't have any feelings about this stuff at all. Like I don't – and people have a hard time accepting that. People have a hard time when they hear that they go, you don't mean that at all though, man? And in the comics, like, I don't mean any of this, dude. Or like, I don't not, but I'm not like –

I don't like live by that. Like sometimes I, like I get, don't you think I'm trying to say the opposite of the room to make you laugh. So if I want to make you laugh, I got to go say the opposite thing that the thing that you don't expect me to say. I,

I have to go say it. And I'm just trying to... And once I get you to laugh and I think it's going to be this big kind of thing, and then I move on. And then, I mean, something by the end of the set, you might even be like, I don't know. What did I say? I don't remember that. Yeah, but then they come... It's truly coming from a place of like, I'm just trying to make a joke. Yeah. And that's when people talk about... But there would also be things where you would say, hey, listen, I don't support what he said or what his behavior was, but I...

But, yeah, you're not saying anyone should be able to say whatever they want. You're not saying that. No. You're like, that was, you should probably have some consequences for that. But you can't say, yeah, you deal with it. Yeah, but you can't say, throw the whole guy, this guy shouldn't be able to do comedy ever again. Yeah. Well, I always think that, too, there's a weird balance to that where people talk about free speech. They say, like comics are, you know, like comics, they say whatever they want.

Like comics always send us act like, like, ah, they're trying to tell us not to say something. Y'all say the craziest stuff I've ever heard in my life. Like there's, everybody's saying, no one's stopping you from saying, but if people do get upset about it, uh, I mean, there's a weird balance where I just wish an audience would understand that.

There's not hate in that person's heart. He's just trying. He or she is just trying to say the craziest thing to you. And what kind of comedy they do kind of describes how crazy of a thing they might say. So like something that us, we're probably not going to say that crazy of a thing. Because I'm not saying that crazy of a thing even in my regular act.

versus someone that's filthy. But all four of us who are all clean, people have walked out on our shows. At least mine. Yeah. They'll be like, that's too far. Well, that...

It's come full circle. What are they Googling during the show? Oh, wait, what? No, I think they know. I need your apps. Google it. I think they would have stayed. Some of them would have stayed. I didn't know he's a cool guy. But if you say, so you say, John, people say John Crist is across the line. Yeah. But I wouldn't say that. But also, I'm not, but I hear jokes that I go, that's across the line. But then if...

I remember going to a comedy show at Zany's. I've talked to Whit Lucy about this before. I thought that it was a joke about Christianity. I thought it was way across the line. And I just got up and I went home. Yeah. I didn't...

But it was killing. It was killing in there. So I can't say the joke wasn't funny. And nor do I get on Twitter and say, we shouldn't. Because 300 people bought tickets and it got a standing ovation. So I can't say that was a cross. To me, it was. But everyone should have the ability if they think something's been... Yeah, yeah. Comics just don't get offended very easy. So we would never...

think to go do something like that because we're just not we're in a world of hearing crazy things and so like being offended like just we could never be offended I know that comedian is one of the nicest comedians in the world yeah and you've unbelievable philanthropist and like yeah it does like you can't say whatever the label you're trying to put that comic intended to hurt he he or she did not and I don't think ever

if he wants people to laugh and have a good time and enjoy them. You got to, as a comic, it's a weird bounce. You get, you got to deal with the consequences of it. And then, uh, you, if you say something crazy, yeah, yeah. You got to, if people get upset about it and the social media, you like, whatever, man, they get upset. You're saying stuff crazy. Uh,

I don't know. You have to deal with it. It's part of it. It's weird, but I think you should be allowed to say whatever you want to go say. But you also have to deal with it. You got to deal with it. I don't know. It's a weird... Sometimes you got to think. Sometimes you got to read the room. Sometimes you got to have the comedic timing or the comedic... There's times where you're like, you know what? Maybe this wasn't...

You're right. For that. Yeah. That was definitely, you can feel when something's mean. Yeah. Just don't be mean. That's really, you can kind of say stuff. It's like, but if it comes out mean. Yeah. That's like a long time ago, I've talked about it. When I talked about my wife, when I would do wife jokes, people would be like, well, why are you, it sounds like you hate her. Why are you married? And I go, that's, these jokes should be coming off like that. So I need to tell these jokes where they are not coming off like that.

And so sometimes in comedy, that needs to be done where you can say the crazy thing. And look, if you want to go as insane as you want to go insane, then go be insane. And you're going to have the audience that you're going to have. Which is what you were talking about, about the Christianity. The thing I tried to clarify, people were like, go after. And I go, whoa, I'm not...

I'm not that guy. I'm not trying to – like if enough people told you, was it a couple or several that said you sound like mean about your wife and you're like, well, that's not my intent. Yeah, I mean it was enough that I was aware of it. It wasn't like there was no internet or like it was – I mean I would say some – Well, I don't know if the internet was as crazy. Social media wasn't the same. But that was not your –

There was no social media. No, no social media. But I mean, when I moved to New York in 2005 or 2006, when did YouTube really, like when commenting really started? Oh, eight? Maybe. Mid to late 2000s. Yeah. So it's like even like, yeah, it's like even at that beginning, but it wasn't like you were getting a ton of comments. It wasn't this thing that we were always super aware of. If you'd have done your thing...

10 years earlier, nobody had known about it. That's why I haven't made that mistake. Well, I grew up in church. That's the mistake. You go, you know what? I was just born at the wrong time. He's learned his lesson. But it's also, somebody told me that I was, not me, not to make the comparison, but Steph Curry

If Steph Curry would have come around in the 80s, he would not have been successful. Right? The NBA was not set up with the way the fouls were. It was not set up to be. He came on at the right time where he was small and there was no hand checking and there was no Bill Lambert and Dennis Rodman that he could be successful. I think he's talented. But people take away the fact that the guy's talented enough that he would figure it out.

People take that stuff away. They would just check him. Yeah, people tend to think LeBron could have played in those days or all these people could have played in all these different eras. You're not that – this is back to Larry Cableguy, kind of same kind of carrot top kind of thought –

you're not as good as you are now. And then you couldn't have figured it out. And when people grew up in those times, they knew how to live in that time. It wasn't like a person from the future walking around going, Oh, why are y'all allowed to do all this kind of crazy stuff? Right. They would have just adjusted. That's the way everybody kind of does. Yeah. There's a lot. Everybody has to adjust with the kind of times and, you know, maybe comics or, you know, before their time or past their time where the joke is not, is not,

It's not sharing like, oh my goodness, this is like, it might be a little too early for that. Or that joke is already, be past your time. So it's like a perfect example of like, you could make fun of Christianity from with inside Christianity. It was not really happening before that.

Or not in the way that like, where it'd be like, oh, you can love Jesus, but also make a joke about Joel Osteen. It was supposed to be like, hey, we're all together. We have to show a unified front to the world. And that's exactly why so many people were...

With your reaction to what happened to you. Yeah. You were hurt because of that. Yeah. Because they were like, they trusted you in the fact that you were. Yeah. And almost like, I almost get it more right there in that moment. But it was like, they trusted you in the fact that like, you were like, hey, we let you in. You're making fun of us because you are us. Yeah. And then it's like. Then you found out they might. And then something was, you found out.

Based on the moral code, you're not one of us. I was one. I still am one of them, but we decided, hey, no, you're... But that's where you... Which I would, I believe, is most comics. I mean, most Christians, it is you forgive and you... 100%. And you understand that you go through stuff and you think about the people that were truly affected by it, those girls, and that you hope that they are everybody all around and everybody forgives and everybody can move forward and everybody can move forward. And you look at all the...

The whole like rehab process is basically they just saying, well, look at this from the other person. Yeah. That's all. And you're like, like I got in trouble. They would, this is not really comedy, but it's like I got in trouble for behaving narcissistically in rehab.

And they go, like, for example, they would go, yeah, I know, it's wild. Is that what you're laughing at? Yeah, like, even in rehab, you're... So, like, we would go, like, to, we would go, like, we're all going to play volleyball at 530. Yeah. And I show up at 545. Yeah. They go, we didn't have our phones. But they go, why do you think that's okay?

Everyone else showed up at 5.30. I was like, I don't know. Somebody else put out the nets. Someone else got the ball. I just figured. They go, look at it from his perspective. He set everything up and you just. I go, oh, yeah. I didn't think about it like that. And that's the whole thing. We sent him to rehab for this podcast. Yeah. I hear him.

What? Because I don't think about what. Set it all up. Huh? Just roll in. Yeah, dude. Just roll in. It's your podcast. Never enough for this guy. He's on the podcast. He does. It opens for him. Never enough. He wants more. Like, I'm sorry. Let me give you more. Never enough. You should be grateful. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that would be the problem I would have at the real end. Just trying to bring some humor to this podcast. But if two people are... There's been humor the entire... I'm joking. That's what you always say. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, because, yeah, because I'm the only one that brings it. Yeah. I mean, Aaron does it, but Aaron Land's great. Aaron Land's awesome. Yeah. He thinks we're supposed to always be equals in the fact that

I should have to do everything he does. Yeah. He looks at comedy like it's a job at Verizon. We're all equals. And there's no such thing as talent, but everybody deserves equally whatever everybody gets. But he can, like, if the flight, if the car for the airport is leaving from the hotel lobby at 6, you can be late. I can be late. You can't be late. Yes, but he would think, but he, I don't think he believes that. No.

He doesn't think like the fact that I'm paying for the car. You'd be driving the Uber. That's what Brian would do. Dude, if this was a situation in rehab, the therapists live for that kind of stuff. They were like, oh, well, why? They just pick at you and tell you to get something. Are you glad that article was written? 100%. Well, I said...

It did. I was very, did you ask him to say that? Is that allowed? No, I've never talked to him. Well, I remember the day, the day of is that there's a like message. They emailed us and they're like, Hey, we're going to release this article tomorrow or something like that. And they were like, they were going to release it. I don't know what, let's say 10 AM or something. And I was like, of course, like I was, I didn't have my phone, but my sister was like keeping me updated. And I was, it came one o'clock, two o'clock. And then I was like,

maybe they're not gonna maybe it's just not gonna come out and then i and then i imagined living in that world and i didn't want to worry yeah and for the rest i go i go everybody put it out yeah put everything whatever you've decided or discovered about me put it all out and not once from that time forward have we ever deleted anyone's comment or or tried to block anyone or says everyone say whatever you want yeah and this work this life is

Way better. Yeah. Because I lived, I said the only thing worse about what happened to me, it was the last 10 years prior. Because I was drinking and like doing all that kind of stuff. And I felt if these people knew, these people would all crush me. And that's what I lived for my whole comedy career like that. And that was horrific. Yeah. Horrific. Yeah. And knowing that if, but then I was like, hey, if I got one fan after this, this is preferable to...

living like that yeah being scared of yeah yeah so i go just put it everybody put everything out and do everybody say everything that they need to say yeah and it's yeah yeah and mike plus you can't i say the show i go you're gonna send a comedian to rehab it's like breaking up with taylor swift she's gonna she's gonna write some hits like it's i can't that's gonna be that's unbelievable for an experience for a comedian because that's the way we handle pain yeah it's like i

all the things that you joke about are real issues. They tell you rehab is not to think like that. You're like, you know what? I'm going to be glad that those girls... You're like, you know what's the best thing that happened to me? These girls are still like, could you say I'm sorry or something? You're like, oh, yeah, obviously sorry, but I've been murdering on stage lately, so...

I have been... That's not what I meant, but sure. Oh yeah, the girls too. I have been slaughtering since I... But this new closer is killing me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I wouldn't... You didn't mean that. I wouldn't wish it on that process on my worst enemy. It's horrific. You didn't mean that. Nothing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That is my closer though. That is, yeah. Do you bring the girls out? No. Uh...

Why is Aaron laughing again?

Yeah. And this one might be rated PG. Here we go. I thought we were going to talk about Georgia, but we never got to. We never got to Georgia. We got to comedy, though. More interesting. I had the Georgia Wikipedia pulled up, ready to go. Turns out Georgia's got a lot of you, John. Dude, I wrote a lot of notes on Georgia. Yeah, we'll do it again. We'll do it. I'll come back and do it next time. But don't let anyone else come on. I need to talk about Georgia. Do people trash it? No, no. We just talk about it.

No, we don't trash. Yeah. No, we're not your comedy. Uh...

This is the whole podcast. You just trash it. Yeah, I do. We just trash. I trash the table. For sure. We talk a lot about the table, too. Yeah, we actually do talk physically about the table. Man, metaphysically. That's good because it's a podcast. It's like audio, but let's talk about what's in the room. Let's talk about smart. Yeah, it's real. People can really relate to that. Like, well, I'm listening, so I can't say anything. You have – so your tour –

Tour starts middle of September. Middle of September. Yeah, Fresh Cuts Comedy Tour in 35 cities. Tickets are on sale. Tickets are on sale. I'm sorry. Let's go. Why didn't you call this tour? Did you almost name it Let's Go Tour? I should have. The Let's Go Tour. Did you almost go? I think so. I think on the announcement of the tour, I said, let's go. We're going on tour. I had the people that run my social media, they put let's go for my special. Yeah. And I think about it every day.

And that was in March. And I approved it. Yeah. But I didn't. Oh, weird. That was back before it was still. No, I didn't approve it before. And sometimes it's one of those things that when you're like, I don't think I should be doing this. Well, you know. And you still do it. Yeah. And they. My goodness. I mean, dude, it's kind of just working out. I mean, that's unbelievable. Yeah.

It's one of the best jokes I've ever said in my life. You get it. Yeah, you get it. This crowd gets it. That's my favorite thing a comic can say. That guy gets in the back. Like, that's such a funny. One guy. That's a trick. That's a trick. But I'm kind of okay with that trick. Because everybody kind of does it. It's such a funny thing to go, that guy gets in the back right there. Anybody? You know what I'm talking about. What about the trick of asking anybody? There was a joke. I knew a comic that used to do the joke. I always thought it was so funny on stage.

uh he did crowd work uh rustman eve very funny new york comic and he would he would always ask the guy in the front oh this is i mean when i moved to new york oh four or five and he'd be like what's up buddy he goes you like girls no i do and he would just say no no one he doesn't let the guy enter or here but it was just it was just a very funny quick like just staying on top of him you like girls no i do uh what about this last trick uh

You know that one awkward person in your family? If you don't know her. Oh, you're them. You're them, dude. If you're not laughing, then blah, blah, blah. You know that one crazy person? You know the one guy that if you don't know him,

Yeah. Yeah. But that, you would say that's not stolen because that's just out there. That's just out there. You can't, that's not, no one claims that. I wouldn't do it because it's like, you shouldn't, it's been done too much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we used to always do those jokes about in a small room where you'd be like, I would have done this in my car. Like, you know, like that was a big New York joke. Or like you come. I remember some comic goes, dude, that's my joke. And I was like, that's everybody's joke. We all, you do a version of that joke. Or what about a,

Yo, Des Moines? Des Moines's got a zoo? What's at your zoo? Two squirrels and a rabbit? Unless you go to Columbus or San Diego. Yeah, there you go. Our zoo's pretty amazing. One of the top zoos in the country. And you go...

And we do. We have a squirrel and we have multiple rabbits. We have a jackrabbit. I remember the one time. You ever seen a jackrabbit? You're like, no, I'd like to go though. We'd all crush it. We'd crush on like, remember every city we go to, we just like crush the city. I like that thing that y'all did, making fun of the city. Driving around. I actually like that. Yeah. Yeah. You showed it at the show. And then not to fill some time. This podcast rules, dude.

Why don't y'all put all those out? Well, because it's video, but then the audio is from the crowd. Yeah. It's confusing. They're like, why is the crowd laughing? You're in a car. But y'all have all those cities. Like, yeah. But why don't you, like, are all those out? Like, can someone watch those? No, they're not out anymore. Some clips of them you put out. Some clips of some of them. I think that would be, yeah, because that was a funny thing to do. But they're only funny because the audience is dying. Yeah.

Because if it's just me and Aaron driving around just trashing on a city, especially if you're not at the show, it looks very... A lot of times people are mad at those because they're like, I'm the mayor, and then you just make fun of our whatever. Aaron is making fun of the murals in the city. I think I'd want to watch it here in the crowd. Yeah. All right. Maybe we'll do that for the next tour. But they would always say, well, a lot of some of them were similar, I feel like.

They were like, oh, you just do that in every city. Oh, you wouldn't want to show that. Yeah, but a lot of them were pretty unique. Well, because everybody, every city is going to, yeah, yeah. Do some kind of like, dude, I mean, I've done it in my show. Well, that's like crowd work. I mean, crowd work is essentially that. It's going to be, if someone really went and watched someone do crowd work at all these cities, it would look very similar. I mean, you know. Are you against that too? Oh, crowd work? Yeah.

I've talked about it. I'm not, I'm not against it. I know it's, it's a big thing. There should be a list of things you're allowed to do. Nate, Nate Park has a list of things you can't do. I've learned. I have a, I have a lot of rules that people don't know that they have to follow. Yeah. And I think they have to follow. Do you not like when people were, my shorts on stage is my big one. Yeah, yeah. I get really annoyed when I see people wear shorts. Yeah, shorts on stage, that's insane to me. Sandals. Yeah.

Yeah. You wear your sandals on stage? No. No, I don't think I've ever worn shorts. I don't think I've ever wore short sleeves on stage. I don't even love short sleeves. This is the first time I wore them. I wore them one other show on even the podcast.

What about a hat on stage? I don't mind a hat. The only reason I don't is because it's like your eyes. Yeah, I've heard that. And so, but I don't mind a hat. People always think I wear a hat on stage. They always go, you wear a hat on stage. I've never seen you wear it. I've never wore it. I mean-

It's a very few amount of times. But I've maybe posted a picture of a time that I did and so everybody thinks, oh, you just wear a hat all the time. You're the hat comic, dude. I'm the hat comic. Yeah, yeah. There's comics that are the hat comic. Very true. You don't want to be that. You don't want to ever be the specific this hat comic. Or the BOGO comic. Okay.

Is the seat taken? Is this... Is the seat taken to a tour? It's a lot of... You know what? I don't think they're going to make it. It's the broken plans...

45 minutes into the show. I don't think they're coming. I don't think they're there. It's reserved, but I don't think. Your opener knows when he's done to go, all right, guys, obviously your party's not coming tonight, so let's push together and see if your opener knows to say that. Everybody move up. Everybody move up. Everybody. Uh,

you know, can everybody grab their, uh, water bottles? We all bought one water. Can everybody grab their water bottles? And, uh, I've done this before. I've,

I feel like everybody has. Has done a show where you scoot everybody up? Oh, yeah. Well, you have to because audiences don't realize. Yeah, it's going to be better if everyone's close. Yeah, this is all the audiences. If it's a small room, don't spread out. I know you want to. You will have a better experience if you scoot together. A table of 10 together is better than 20 spread out.

Yeah, true. And just do a shot for that. That's philosophy. Yeah, write that down. That is pretty nice. That's pretty nice. Yeah, put that down. Write it down. A table of 10 is better together than a party room of 20. Than a room of 20 spread out. Wow. That's deep, man. That's pretty nice. Yeah, it's better than whatever you said earlier. What did you say earlier? Fishing pole? Fishing pole is a fish. But a man still is your fishing spot would probably be.

Oh, fishing spot. Tell him where the fishing spot is. The cadence with the fishing hole. Yeah, yeah. You get the fishing hole from him and he's like... He's just catching all these fish. He's like, how am I doing this? I'm supposed to be a good fisherman. You're like, no, you're not. You just figured out where the fish are. Yeah. Yeah, that's better. Okay. All right. Yeah, John Crist. Yeah, my tour date. Go check out his tour. I got tour stuff. We're announcing... I think it comes out...

Grand Ole Opry. Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, which I was going to say, do you all want to do the Ryman and the Grand Ole Opry? No, are you doing a show there? Yeah. Yeah, but I think because I am too. Yeah. But you can't say the Grand Ole Opry because that's confusing to people. They think you're on the show. Yeah, you should say it. Yeah, all right. Don't say the Grand Ole Opry because they're like – I'm doing a show at the Opry House. Yeah, there you go. At the Ryman. When they clicked the link, I figured they'd figure it out. And they –

So go. This podcast is unreal. By the way, my first job was at Opryland. So it's kind of a cool thing to go. I used to sweep the steps of the Grand Ole Opry. No, you didn't. Yes. I worked at Opryland. What age? 16.

Or 15. Wow. Got paid $3.25 an hour. And I was a sweeper. You'd sweep inside the park. I also swept outside the park. Would go to the Grand Ole Opry. Did you get promoted to outside the park? Or did you start as... Promoted to comedian. Yeah. No, I didn't. I worked in the dog kennel, too. Lost a dog. Oh, my. Lost a dog. But yeah, you want to do those? That would be amazing, man. Let me check. That's good. Yeah. I've done the rhyming. That's true. Yeah.

I wanted to ask Aaron anyway, just Aaron. No, I would love to. I actually bought tickets for your show. Oh, really? I just assumed I wasn't on it. To the... To the Rhyme Show. I'm just going to be in there. Oh, do you have tickets to it? Oh, why do you have tickets? When is it? Well, it sold out. I wanted to grab some. Well, we got two tickets for sale. Hey, you want to give... Why don't you give...

We should give the ticket, two tickets to somebody. Okay. Let's see. On the podcast. We're doing it right now, live? No, we have to...

What are they supposed to do? You mean to two folks, right? Yeah, to two folks. What are we going to do? I don't know. I don't know. We'll think about it. Just note, they're not great seats. How about it? I couldn't afford his download. A list of, write a list. By the way, we don't make the prices. We make prices of the tickets, but those tickets get taken. Yeah. There's a big mess of a thing. Just say whoever, come up with a list of Nate's do's and don'ts of stand-up comedy.

And somebody has to submit that for the tickets. I mean, we've got the whole tagline thing going. Maybe we could... Maybe do the tagline. But that's not fair. Yeah, exactly. But whoever wins it, if they're not here in Nashville, then we'll give them tickets.

Where'd you give someone your tickets? Yeah, the prize should be better than the tickets you're having to go get at Brian's. They're obstructed view, but... Are they? Standing only. They're not, are they? They might be. I can't afford the good ones, but I wanted to come see you perform. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How funny would that have been if somebody who's a fan of your podcast comes to see it thriving and they just see Brian head...

head behind a pole, peering around, trying to... Isn't that guy on his body? Yes. Can he not have him backstage? And he didn't give him better seats than that. Not only did I not give him seats at all. He didn't buy them. And I was going to take my mom because it's her birthday. Well, you can give them to your mom then. I guess the tickets. Okay. Yeah. We'll just give the tickets to your mom. I don't feel bad. Yeah. Well, never mind. We're going to give them to... We'll give...

Yeah, that would be good. Give the tickets to your mom. Okay. Because then your mom, someone's going to come. Have she seen you at the Ryman? No. Oh, there you go. No. October 28th is the show. Yeah, October 28th. And 27th is the Opry House. Let's do it. Randall Opry. Congrats on that. Yeehaw. Let's go. I'll be on Yeehaw October 27th. Is that true? No. Okay. All right. All right. Thanks, everybody.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.