#50 The Royal Family
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What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. Nate Bargetti, Aaron Weber, Brian Bate. Welcome, everybody. Glad to have you. We're recording this a week early. I'm gone when this is out. Where are you? Somewhere. Possibly Chicago for something, but not a show. Something else. But this weekend, I'm in Naples, Florida, June 11th to the 13th.

Doing some shows down there. And then you have a show this weekend as well. Yeah. Zany's. Headlining Zany's this Sunday, the 13th, 4 p.m. 4 p.m. Get home. Like we said, you get home.

Nice and early. 4 p.m., I bet people like that. On a Sunday? Yeah. I would like a 4 p.m. show on a Sunday. It's good to be done with the day that early. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Just go home, tap out. Yeah, that always be like when you could do shows, which is a thing I've said before, like at noon, and you're like, I'm already done. I've already worked. I've already done a set. Got a set in. It's noon. Yeah. It feels like you got something else that no one else, you know. Yeah.

Someone else got in. I like it. And you're in Alaska. I am. Wow. That's weird to think about. Yeah, I will be. I don't know where in Alaska, but I'm there right now. Right now. All right. Living it up. Flying over on a train, train, planes, and automobiles of Alaska. No walking, dude. No walking. That was the deal breaker. She said, we can go anywhere. I said, only if we can't, I don't know, have to walk anywhere. Cold weather. Yeah.

You think Alaska is a real big band vacation? I wonder if like, you know, because usually bigger guys, they like it nice and cold. Does that make sense? I love it nice and cold. Yeah.

So I bet there are a lot of guys that look like me up there. Yeah. Trying to get away from the beach. A lot of women too. What do you say? You go to a hotel. There's big guys and women out there. Y'all just doing tackling drills. I don't know. I like to picture that. Run Oklahoma. Run the bull, yeah. A bunch of people. Just people in the wild running Oklahoma just in the backyard. When you're in a hotel room, what do you set the thermometer at?

uh when i go to bed i set it to like i want to say i had like this weekend was like 67 hotels gonna be sneaky that's pretty chilly it's pretty chilly like uh but it was uh it's pretty sneaky how cold a room can get i don't want to wake up you can wake up a sore throat yeah if you get too cold yeah uh 69 maybe something like that right around there yeah where's 72 always feels like too hot to me i know that's supposed to be the standard

Yeah, I like to hit the high 60s. Yeah. Especially when I go to bed. You can get some of these down to 58. You go there? I have before. Yeah. Most of the time I wake up middle of the night like, okay, I'm pretty cold. Then I turn it up. It feels great when it's first getting going. Oh, dude, it's the best. Do you click the heat on? When I get up at 4 a.m.? Yeah.

It's a little draft. Yeah. You talk to the cleaning staff as they start cleaning rooms. You're out in the hall. They always start so early. What time do they have to be there? Cleaning staff. I feel like they never leave. Yeah. They get there like six, seven. I think it was early. I feel like I've had someone knock on my door like seven or eight to try to clean the room. Oh, that's so early. Yeah. What do you think I'm doing? Yeah. Like in a hotel. I mean, dude, I guess a lot of people get up that early.

Maybe people are there for work throughout the week. Maybe people are getting up that early. I think in a hotel, it's like you don't do anything before nine. Like if you're in a hotel. So I guess people are up at seven or eight. But you're not out of the room. No. I would think cleaning can't start until nine. You're not ready to have a stranger knock on your door. But I guess if people are flying home, a lot of people fly. Early flights, yeah. Early flights. Yeah, that's the big secret. People always think that when you go to an airport, if you're at a 6 a.m. flight, that airport's going to beep.

pack it will always be people show up and they think well it's 6 a.m no one's flying at 6 a.m no everybody is if you have that thought everybody has that thought yeah no one flies at noon that's when you want to fly that's when you go that's a uh as i've learned just being on the road i like leaving even 10 30 i like uh you know something like that but noon flight your breeze through security it'll be great all right that's it uh

Here's the comments. YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Apple Podcast Reviews, and natelandatnatebargatio.com. Travis Bottles. Nate, you and bratwurst and sour gout. Pretty good. I've made my days as a UPS driver unbelievable. The downfall is me cracking up while a man simultaneously fell off his porch. He assumed I was hysterically laughing at him and proceeded to basically go full-blown Andrew Jackson duel on his front lawn.

When I apologized to him and told him I was listening to a comedy podcast, he said, yeah, what's so funny about it? I told him it was the cast of Seinfeld, where from Tennessee... Oh, no, I don't think I'm reading this. I think I started that sentence wrong. I told him it was like the cast of Seinfeld were from Tennessee and his furry immediately disappeared. I was furious. Golly, man.

Hold on. Let's get back into it. Hold on. Start. Don't start the clock. Don't start the clock yet. Hold on. I've had, that's two false starts. Third one, I'm out. Yeah. What's so funny about it? I told him it was like the cast of Soundfield were from Tennessee and his fury immediately disappeared. And he said, ah, Nate land. And just like that crisis averted. It's pretty cool, man. That's pretty awesome.

Two folks. Almost got into it. That's what we are as folks. All of us folks, me, all of us listening, you guys, we will fight. But if you just do one nice thing, then we kind of go, ah, we don't want to. But we will. He was. He was about to. Justin Spear. I joined a work Zoom meeting of 100 people and immediately heard some guy talking about

talking that sounded like Nate. It was uncanny. My interest peaked further when he started talking about Disney princesses. Long story short, I found out the folks who forgot to hit mute

I found out one of the folks who forgot to hit mute. If this is all sample size, any indication 2% of the world population is listened. Oh, that's funny. God, I'm reading is it's not happening. Yeah. These are two tough ones. These are big ones. Yeah. These are too hard. Like, well, what was in the Senate's Disney princesses? That's a tough, those are back to back. Fury. Fury. And of course, everybody thought it was furry. Yeah. Uh,

Yeah, so that guy's just listening to it. And then, yeah, that's two back-to-back odds of that. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Have you heard, speaking of voice, have you heard the head coach of Tennessee talk? Have people told you that he sounds like you? Yeah, I have. I've had people say that. I don't know if I've heard him talk. You want to hear him talk for a second? Yeah.

Yes. I think we owe Josh Hopple an apology. Oh, no. There are a lot of clips. I found a clip earlier of where it sounds exactly like. I mean, that clip started off, we got to keep the borders closed. Yeah.

And you're just sitting there like, oh yeah, Tennessee head football coach. He knows his audience. He goes, we got to keep the borders closed. All right, what about the football? Oh, yeah. Sorry, completely forgot. Yeah, we got a great schedule coming out this year. Very exciting. He just gets off on a tangent, dude. Like he just sits there.

Yeah, I don't think that one was. You don't hear that? He's got the same cadence as you. Yeah. I think when he said empowered, he had to think about it like me. I think he said to his wife, he goes, I want you to empower today. I think, all right. Well, do your border talk. He goes, obviously. I start everything with keeping our borders closed.

There's a... Everything he said is basically a hint for this country. But he's using it as just Tennessee. We got to keep our borders. Oh, yeah. You know, you need IDs to come to school here. And you're like, what? What's he mean? You know, like...

There's a New York comic impersonation of you. I think it's a couple years ago. Yeah. But there's a video of him on YouTube. It's very funny. I assumed you've seen it. I think so. Is it a sticker treat? I know sticker treat, which is a great... It's a Halloween show, right? That Mark Norman hosts? Yeah, yeah. Such a good idea for a show. So every Halloween, they have comedians go up and they do...

impressions of like comedians and they do their act. It's just such a really good idea for a show and it's like very fun. It's like a party and like it's a good time. That's cool. My name is Nate and I'm from Tennessee. That's why I talk like I'm not a new person.

Casey McGowan. McGowan. Casey McGowan. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's always like when you hear it, if you hear it, you're like, oh, man, what do I sound like? It would be weird to hear somebody do an impression of you on stage. I've never had that. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, one day. He probably won't, but if... He's got the mannerisms down. He's got the mannerisms. Yeah, everything's down. I mean, the way it started going good. Like, I like it. Great. I think get him to open and just, he goes out first and does that. Just as you? Yeah, I'll get him to just do all the old jokes. Casey McGowan. Scott Wilson. When Nate is on another podcast, he talks about Nate Land like it's something he's just trying out. Just being super modest about having the best podcast about nothing.

Thank you. Is it modest or embarrassed? It's like, you know, probably introducing a lot of your family. Like we met your family at the wedding. We were like, no, no, he's a cousin. Yeah. He's, look, we love him. We love him. You know? No, it's, I'm always, I'm never embarrassed. I really like, I do. I really enjoy doing this podcast. I enjoy, I think it's very fun. It's fun to be funny. I think it's helped me with my standup.

And then I always just feel... I'm at the age group that podcast was dumb. And I feel embarrassed to have one. And everybody's like, well, I got a podcast. I got a podcast. Everybody's got a podcast. So that's always in my head. That thought is always in my head. I haven't fully just gone and be like, yeah, our podcast is... It's like, I don't know. I just... It's always been in my head. I mean, I just... I come from the generation that when this all started. Like now, if you're a young comic, I mean...

podcasts are just a part of the scene. Yeah. But where I was, it was like, you know, we had one long time ago and no one had one. And then everybody has one. That's why I was took. So, you know, starting one, I was like, I don't know. Like you just, I didn't want to be another comic with another podcast. Like that's what you don't. So you end up, you kind of think that, but I am very proud of this podcast. I like this podcast and I enjoy it. I love everybody. I mean, the fact that all these people are listening, uh,

And I do think we're doing something different. And so that's where I am proud. And I do like it is that if I am going to do something, I at least want it to be different. And I know there's not a ton of clean comedian podcast. Not that that is what I'm going for. But it's like, it's just the angles. You know, we talk about nothing. It's a podcast about nothing. And I do like that. Teresa Morwood says,

Got to love when Bacon Bits defends his research with according to this. Like he doesn't know where it came from. Love the podcast. I love that. That's fair. Like you were just handed all this research. Yeah, I know. Abby, what do you want me to do? She called me. She's right about that. I sometimes say, yeah, according to this. Well, I'm the one that looked this up. Yeah. And I acted like I didn't do it. Yeah. That's a fair point.

Hannah Perino. I listen to a number of podcasts, and this is the only one that I don't skip through the ads while listening. Nate reading them is pure gold. Thank you, Hannah. And I hope our ad people hear that and understand that I get through it. I get through it the way I get through it. Carlotta Simison.

That's a lot of letters right there, Carlotta. All right. See what I did. Is that how you say it? That looks right. I would say Simonson. Simonson. That makes more sense. Carlotta Simonson. You guys should hold a drawing for Nate's tickets or merch for the listener who submits the best tagline for the podcast. I bet people would come up with some really great ones. Thanks for all the great laughs. We could do something like that.

We could do some merch for sure. I mean, I could see where you're at. I'll give someone tickets. I think I have tickets to the show. Sacramento? Yeah. You want to come to Sacramento? You know, all the tickets you want. You can go have a section of just people I've promised tickets to. And with his, what's his name? Jaden? Jaden. With the kid? What's his dad's name? Eddie? Eddie. His whole family's there right now. And Eddie's wife is sitting in a seat by herself on the other side of the room. Yeah.

Yeah, we could do something like that. So what would we do? Like just whoever can submit the best tagline. Tagline for the Describe the Podcast? Yeah, I think they're referencing, you know, a couple weeks ago, we were like, how would you describe the show? Yeah. Yeah, we could do that, right? Can you handle that? Sure. As much as, I mean, can you handle all the submissions? Sure.

We'll see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Let's do it. So I always act like I'm like, before you say something, let me see if we can do it. Like, you're like, I mean, I don't, there's no one I talk to. Like, I've thought that a little bit more even with my career.

Where I've thought like, well, I don't know. Can I do that? Like, you know, when you go up, when you come up, like, you know, like, can I bring someone with me to feature? You're not allowed to do that. Like your openers, like the comedy clubs book their openers and you're never, you're like, you just get told what to do and then you go do this. And then it is funny. You finally switch into, you know,

I can do whatever I want to do. Like it's whatever I think is best for the show. And then they just go, what do you, you know, I do a theater. It's like, all right, what do we got? You know, I'll probably have two comics on the theater shows and then me. It's like, so it's like, but I'm in charge of like all that stuff. But you still like kind of go like, how many people can I bring? Like you still want to ask someone and you're like, yeah, there's no one to ask. Do whatever you want, man. Yeah. It's your show. Yeah.

Yeah. And so I was, they did that with that. Yeah. We'll do that. So, uh, that could be fun. Cause then we could have people, we could, you know, we'll read the votes. I know people, if you, if you want on social media, it's like, follow us on, uh, follow the Nate land podcast on social media. Uh, cause it will be at a post, you know, all these, a lot of clips on there, on there, this kind of stuff. Uh, so let's, let's say it's got to go through or, you know, I'll just say it's got to go through social media.

but some people might not have social media. Yeah. I was going to say, and I don't think they should get, if you don't want it, don't go get it. Yeah. I was going to say maybe email. Yeah. Um, that's easier. Yeah. Cause it can be a little lengthier and, uh, but they're just doing a tag, but it's gotta be a quick tagline. Yeah. What did we say? It's the question, uh, answer to a question. Nobody's asked. So we'll put that in there. Cause he, yeah, that deserves to be in there. Uh, an answer to a question that no one asked.

So like that, that's one of them. So something like that. How would you describe it in this podcast? And when you got to tell someone and they got to go wrap your head up, it's a log line. If you ever, all the people out here writing scripts, but a log line is you got to, it's an elevator pitch. How do you tell someone, you know, that's my favorite line. Greg Geraldo, last comic standing when they were talking about some movie that

and, uh, what's his name? Craig Robinson, I think was on the stage and he goes, I got a movie coming out and he goes, it's a hot tub time machine. And Greg goes, Oh, what's that about? What's a hot tub? There's a time machine. Oh, I'm still getting emails from people telling me what they're giving up. Oh yeah. I'm like, dude, he,

he's been off of that for like four months we don't care i forgot about that he gave up on giving up dude he gave up on giving up they're like they changed my life thinking i'm like dude that lasted four days yeah we got them started what are they giving up i mean who knows i'll just tell them stop sending me stuff yeah yeah well maybe you need to pick it back up alcohol drugs oh good

Well, keep doing that. It's like heavy stuff. Yeah, keep doing it. Keep doing that stuff. I haven't drank, so there you go. I quit that. There you go. Yeah, man. So there you go. I quit. Sugar's been a little bit harder. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. But eventually I'll start your little, you know, do it Aaron. Aaron didn't tell anybody. That's the move. That's the move. You just show up looking thin.

But then the other move is when we come back and go, I guess he's off that. Yeah, dude. That can happen, man. You're going to know that when you're just – y'all come to a Nate Land episode and you're just facing forward. And you're like, why is Aaron not looking straight ahead? You're like, he must have got off the intermittent fasting. Yeah.

You just noticed me starting to grow up, big hit of hair. I don't tell anybody I've been on keeps. Yeah, you've been using keeps, dude. This is a whole different group. Well, we need to, maybe if you have some of those lists, we may read them. We'll read them the next week we do a podcast. Just to call people out, let them know. I do like people quitting stuff. Yeah. If they want to. Greg Cannon.

I mean, if you're looking for something that sums up this podcast for your friends, look no further than Civilian Station's clip. Aaron's line, nobody's ever made that mistake before, should be in the description of Nate Land. That's a pretty good one. Yep. Nobody's ever made that mistake before.

I like it. It's like the wording of that, nobody's ever made that mistake before. It's like that wording, but it's got to be worded a little bit different. Mistakes. To describe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mistakes that, yeah. What's this podcast? It's a show about mistakes. You're going to watch this. Yeah, I don't know. Mistakes that nobody's ever made before. Yeah. But that is a good way to describe it. Yeah, I like that one. We're going to be getting a bunch of them. Send them, yeah.

Mark Johnson. Nate announcing that his next comment was going to be off topic was as funny as it gets during a podcast where 95% of the comments are off topic. I sometimes have to check to see what the episode is about to reconnect my brain. Keep them coming, guys. You make every Wednesday morning seem like a Christmas morning. See? So rare. That's why... You know why we talk about...

This is why I love the podcast because of you, all you listeners. This is why. This is the audience you would want to perform in front of by far.

By far the best audience. I mean, they just get it. Nothing's taken seriously. You can't. It's not just pent up anger. It's like, be funny, and then that's it. Because it's like, they got to get, you know, people always get mad with like comics and they want to get rid of them. And I always think of it, you got to, in a comic's brain,

If they do a joke that's offensive, they are just thinking about that joke. They have no feelings about the person they could be making fun of or what that does. I'm not saying that's right or wrong, but just so you understand where the idea comes. It is just straight up, what can I do to make you laugh in this situation? And then they try it. And so, yes, sometimes it's...

awful and mean but it's uh but like but i think this audit like that's why i love this the audience just gets it like it's like you know it's like you you weed out all the people that are like this this podcast is about nothing you're like see you later yeah yeah it is yeah and then everybody else it's like it's great dude like it's just you know

Ree Jones, I would love to hear y'all talk more about callbacks and comedy. I feel like I've heard so many comedians talk about how callbacks can be, can just be for cheap laughs and your conversation about that seemed to bend that way. But couldn't you argue that that much of the humor of this actual podcast is built around callbacks? In fact,

Right after you were talking about callbacks being overused in comedy, the next comment included a callback to the Blanchard family from previous episodes. So where is the line when it comes to callbacks in comedy? Well, the line is, I mean, when I do it, it's okay. And when everybody else does it, it's not. I think callbacks in this setting are good.

like it's it's it's you know this and like what we're doing here is like it's a world it's like seinfeld calling stuff back yeah it's your you know it's like this is a very inside joke this is a very like hey we're all buddies just hanging out so the callbacks are just you you do a lot of callbacks to your friends and that's so i i think stand up in podcast callbacks are very different i actually like them a lot in podcast because i like the

feeling of family really yeah and that everybody you got so many people that can kind of go like civilian stations and they're like oh yeah and i like being like no no you you know it's nice to be like you if you don't get it you don't get it callbacks and stand up i i've got a couple right now i there's always a lot of places for them i won't do a call i i used to not like them at all uh i think now i will only do them if i don't think you the audience knows i'm doing them

So if the audience goes, why don't you call that back? If you're in the audience and you can come up and tell me that, hey, you should have done a call back there. I don't do it because you thought that. So that like, it's too obvious. But if I can do it where you're not expecting it, then I'll do it. It's the same with the podcast though. There are times people say, why didn't you guys do a call back to this? And it's because it's,

It's too obvious. Like the president who was poisoned by drinking ice, uh, ice milk, I guess. Yeah. And people said, you just totally missed that opportunity to reference it. Well, that's too obvious. Yeah. I don't think I thought about it either then. Oh, well, nevermind then. But it's, yeah. Also, it's just, that would be every line you could call back. You could call back something. Just get watered down with it over. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they're, uh, yeah, I do. I don't mind callbacks. I like them.

uh and say you have a few in your last special yeah yeah there's definitely becoming a little bit more i you just don't want it to feel like it's like uh-huh like it's like if a callback feels like and aha see how i did all that yeah yeah like i don't want it to feel like that yeah i want it to feel very natural and so it's got to just feel like it happens

The worst is where you get like a, hey-oh. That's the worst. I'll quit comedy. If you're like, oh gosh, I'm that. I'm that now. Like the dead horse, people would always say, what's the horse line? Beating a

Can't beat a dead horse. Can't beat a dead horse. So people would always be like, why don't you say that in it? And I did think of that. Yeah. But then everybody thinks of that. Yeah. So I don't say that because I should be better at this than you. This is what I do. Like not in an arrogant way, but as if I'm a professional comedian, I shouldn't always...

Do the thing that immediately pops in your head. Sometimes you have to. Right. So I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but you try not to. Well, you're also playing 3D chess in a way, Nate, because you are beating a dead horse. Yeah. So you don't need to use that term. You're doing it. Exactly. You're very meta in that way. Ooh, I like that. Finally, Notre Dame's paying off. What about Eddie Cat? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Eddie Cat, dude.

I don't remember Eddie Cat. It's a joke about etiquette. You should say Eddie Cat. Oh, Eddie Cat. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Eddie Cat. Yeah. You do that sound.

if i did that people would start to get like what are we yeah what are we watching what is this guy yeah he's just saying yeah he's got a carhartt shirt on i was confused by that i thought it was going to be a lot of like like kind of a tim allen yeah

Lauren Lindsay. I pay big bucks for an audio book narrated by Nate without any edits. There would be, I would want to see if people could get through it. Lauren, I'd want to see if you could get, I mean, if she could buckle down and it would be, it'd be a wild ride. If you, if you wrote a book, would you do the audio book version of it? Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. I'd like to, I do want to write a book. Do you know what about everybody? No,

what's your autobiography autobiography i do want to write an autobiography i you know what i should write an autobiography just now then i'm like here's what i think is going to happen and the last pages are just what i think is going to happen and then just envy the opposite i uh i had agents like they talked about me writing a book like uh i think you know when you should write a book i think i could yeah

but I think you kind of know when you're, if you're supposed to, I would like to write a book. I think it'd be, it'd be, you know, just to, I can't read. I'd like to write it. There's a title. Yeah, that is a good title. I can't even read my own book. By Nate Bargetti. By Nate Bargetti.

And it's just squibbly lines. I mean, that's like the, yeah, the stone. I want it to be like the Stone Cold's book. It's like, I'm going to tell you something. I went over there wrestling the other day. Like his book reads like that. Yeah. Does he do an audio book of him reading it? Do you know? Oh, I don't know. I've never listened to an audio book. That's a big thing now. Yeah.

And I never did it. It feels weird. I think a car ride, I could see why you would do it. Yeah. I still like a book. I don't even like reading it on an iPad. But to me, it feels like you're reading a book. You're just sitting like this. And you're like, what are you doing? You're like, I'm reading a book. And then you just sit there. And then you're like, hmm. I don't know. You got to pay attention. Yeah. And he's going to sit and he's sitting there going, hmm.

I would love to hear, you know, like just reading something and you're just, yeah, you get startled. What's going on? Reading a book, dude. Back up. Yeah, just trying to read. Trying to read here for a second. I feel like you look dumb. Does it make you look dumber? What, if you listen to an audiobook? Nah, people are doing it. That's like smart. Usually driving, right? Usually driving, yeah. Tough to read while driving.

Wendy Barlow, I have lived in Iowa my entire life and have a standard Midwestern accent. I also have a PhD in literacy education. Regardless, I've listened to your podcast so much that I caught myself saying, he don't care, the other day while talking to one of my employees. Thanks for dumbing me down, guys. He don't care. He don't care.

Mike Terry, just realized my granddaughter looks like Brian Bates. That's a picture. We got her pulled up. Oh, my gosh. Bless her heart. What's in her eye? Yeah, that's the cursor. That does look like you, man. That does. Cute baby, though. Yeah, she is. She needs to do...

Keeps and hair. Yes, and keeps. They're, yeah. I mean, that's crazy, dude. That's crazy. Even look, I mean, it's smiling, but it looks a little worried. She was born 40. That was 40 years old. She's got a squirrel problem. It's a lot of callbacks. All right, this week, we actually back to top. I have a topic. Back to topic.

Back on topic. Back on topic. We were off topic. Yeah. Now we're back on it. It's inline versus online. That always makes me. That's a big New York thing. Yeah. It's all New York. I'm online at the bank. So with online, I remember, I never heard that.

Did you ever hear that before in New York? No, I heard it from King of Queens. Yeah. So I'd never heard anybody ever say that. So if no one knows in New York, if they're standing in line, they say I'm online. So if you go to the grocery store and there's a line, you're like, well, I'm waiting in line at this grocery store. So that's what they say.

So then I remember going to New York and it was like during the election, whenever 2008 or something like that. And I just hear on the news like, yeah, they voted today online. I went online and voted today. And I was like, you can vote online, dude? I was like, are you kidding me? I was like, that's crazy. And I started like looking it up and I couldn't find... I was like, where...

What is he talking about? And I mean, it was a long time. And then I finally realized, oh, that's what they say. They say online. Yeah. And they would say, because we're, there's a philosophy question. Is it in line or online? You're the line. What's the line? You're the line. Are you in it? Are you on top of it? Online, in line. I think you're a part of the line. So you'd be in the line. That's how I look at it. Yeah. What makes a line a line? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, the line is just the shortest distance between two points. That's what a line is. But the people decide what the line is. Okay. So are you in it? That's what I mean. You're not on the line because there's not a line on the ground. You're in it. You're the line. You are the line. You are the line. So that's what we should be saying. I'm the line at the grocery store. I'm the line. I joined the line at this grocery store. It's like I'm stuck in traffic, but you are the traffic. Yeah.

Saying stuck in traffic is really, you're trashing everybody around you because you're going, I'm not the reason for this traffic, but I'm stuck in the nonsense of these morons on this interstate. Yeah, so that's where, you know, I don't know. Yeah, online, in line. All right, well. Let's get back on topic. I never felt I had to carry this podcast more than I did right at that moment. Yeah.

So a couple weeks ago we talked about, we want to talk about the royal family. And I was very curious about the royal family. Yeah, I knew nothing about the royal family. And I still know almost nothing about it. But we talked about what power does the queen really have over prime minister. And I don't know very well, but so the United Kingdom. Do you like prime minister better than president?

I like saying – I mean, we know President. President feels better to me. Yeah, President, you're like, oh, that's the guy. Prime Minister, you're like, eh, he's up there. But he's got to talk to – Like Prime Minister, I feel like could get away with going –

I got to, what I was talking about earlier, like when you run the show, prime minister's like, I don't, I got to run this by so many people. Yeah. And the president, you're like, the president can't say that. He goes, I got to run it. You're like, well, you're the president. Yeah. Yeah. The buck stops here. You're the one that decides it. Prime minister's got to be like, I don't, you know, I got to talk to someone else. And then you call the queen. He could probably, yeah. He could probably even go, I got to call the other prime minister. And you're like, there's two of them. And you'd be like, oh yeah, yeah, of course you would even, you're like, yeah, yeah, we got a couple. He goes, I got a minister. Yeah.

He's like, you just got to go to church. I mean, I'm the prime one, but. I'm the prime minister. You do have others. But there are other ministers, yeah. But I always liked minister of defense. Minister of defense, is that what they call it over there? I don't know.

I've heard of that. So you have Secretary of Defense is what it's here. No, there's a football player. Who's the Minister of Defense? I thought it was... I think it's a label for... Well, I mean, there is, but I think a football player... Reggie White was called the Minister of Defense. Okay. But he got it because that is a real title. Yeah. That's just... Lloyd Austin. That's Defense Minister. Secretary of Defense. He's a Defense Minister? Secretary of Defense is...

Yeah, what is he? So the defender, he like takes his notes. That's it. There's a minister of defense in India. Defense. Defense, Mr. Defense. He's the secretary of the defense. Defense's office? Defense's office. And everything goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We didn't say any of that because they're always on defense. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. A little defensive today, aren't we? A little defensive today, aren't we? A little jumpy, huh?

Because I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. That's what I think of Secretary of Defense. You'd be like the receptionist of the defense. Yeah. So the United Kingdom is a constitutional monarchy, meaning they have a monarchy, the queen or king, but they also have a constitution with elected officials and walls and such. So the monarch, in this case Queen Elizabeth, shares power with the government. Right.

She's the head of state, but all political power rests with the prime minister. He's the head of government. I checked out doing a lot of that. Let me ask you this. Is there a woman more famous in the world than Queen Elizabeth? Oprah? No, not more than Queen Elizabeth. Really? Yeah. I mean, you could argue. I mean, you got to look at like Oprah.

Everybody knows Oprah, but there's a younger generation that does not know her. When her show's been off the air, she's not around. You don't think your daughter's generation knows who Oprah is? I mean, there's no way my daughter knows who Oprah is. Does she know Ariana Grande?

no but she's eight i mean like i mean she might maybe i guess if she heard a song or something i don't wait i don't know if we're letting her listen to our own taylor swift because you have all right yeah she knows taylor swift yeah and then uh but like she knows her like is like oh taylor swift if i don't think if she met taylor swift i don't think it would be like she would even really know she would be more excited about meeting now a youtuber or something right yeah would she be pumped about meeting the queen you think

I mean, she's eight. So, yeah, we're talking like she's in college. So you're that age, you love kings and queens and princesses and stuff like that. But you don't know what's going on. I mean, her dad is not teaching her any of this. So I don't think she's, you know, going to be, unless she hears it from my mom. But I think Queen Elizabeth is, I think she's way more famous than Oprah. I mean, like, she's like, there's going to be other countries, dude. Like, everybody just knows. The insanity that...

I mean, it's a great thing. I mean, she's been alive forever, dude. She's been queen for almost 70 years. I mean, it's crazy, dude. Longer than any other monarch. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, that's impressive. But if you're talking about fame, I think you take off, remove her from the context of being queen. Like, take her off the throne.

put her flower hat away, how many people do you think will know that that's her? You just see her walking around like a Kroger. You would, you would, you would recognize her face. You would go, I don't think I would do. Yeah. You would go, I know her from somewhere. Like you said, like Oprah's more recognizable because of that. Her face is, I mean, dude, it's just been everywhere. Like it's in, uh, it's, I mean, it's, it's,

You just talked about her. Oprah would probably interview her, if not, or would want to. Yeah. So you got to think, like, you know, I know Oprah's huge, but she's not more famous than Queen Elizabeth. Okay. I mean, she's been, dude, so many people know her. And you go see the castle if you go over there, see her house. Like, it's, yeah, I don't think it's even...

probably right I think Oprah took a big hit I mean you've seen her she's popped up because she interviewed Meghan Markle other than that I don't even know what she's been doing I mean if you follow her but if you don't she was in your face she was everywhere for so long and like now that she kind of backs off she's still everybody obviously knows who she is but I mean there's going to be a younger generation that just they're not going to know who Oprah is

I think, not to harp on that, I think Michelle Obama is more well-known than the queen is. Dude, I mean, Queen Elizabeth is such a famous name. Like, you just know the name. You know the name, right? I mean, I could see maybe if her and Michelle Obama are, you know, if Queen Elizabeth walks in Kroger and Oprah walks in Kroger. Yeah.

Yeah, I could maybe see that more people are going to notice Oprah. Yeah. And she's so recognizable. And the Queen, you know. There was a story that Queen Elizabeth, I think she was in Scotland at one of her vacation homes. And she was out for a walk. And an American tourist came up to her and said, ask where the Queen lived. And then they said, have you ever met the Queen? And she said, I haven't, but he has, pointing to her bodyguard.

so she was very funny on the spot now i think she like she wasn't wearing the hat she's probably wearing a scarf around her head and she's a woman old woman out on a walk so you don't expect that to be the queen but she was very funny yeah off the cuff and did she finally say i'm the queen i don't know it was coming the story was from the security guard i don't think she ever told them yeah yeah it's crazy because she probably just that's a funny story for her and then that's like john stockton in the uh

Last Dance when they were in Paris and everybody's wearing the Dream Team shirts. I think it was Last Dance. This was the Dream Team documentary. And he walks up and he's filming it. He walks up and they go, we just love the Dream Team. It's our favorite. And she doesn't know who he is. He's on her shirt. Yeah.

That's funny. But he did. Did you see that? It was the other players couldn't go anywhere because they were so instantly recognizable. John Stockton had a normal vacation. Yeah. He just went out with his family, filmed stuff, would walk up to him, just had a regular vacation. No one knew. But like George and Barkley, they couldn't even walk out of their room. Can't get off the bus. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. Her full name is Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor.

So they're the House of Windsor. And they change names once they move up in royalty, or they can if they so choose. Elizabeth was her name, but Prince Charles is next in line. Obviously, when she passes, he'll be king. And they said he could change his name to King Edward or something like that. Well, like off of Charles? It's got to be off of the thing? He can keep... He could just keep Charles. I know, but is Edward...

like from charles like is that like oh no no no no those are two totally different names so you just literally can change your name yeah usually it's maybe the steve it's usually it's i think the name of a previous monarch yeah but there was a queen elizabeth the first and she's queen elizabeth the second um and that's as far down as they've gone they've only made it to two for elizabeth oh there's a bunch more for then yeah

I just picture that's how long she's been around. Since the whole beginning of this, we've only had two. And you're like, golly, this is kind of new. You're like, no, they both just have been alive forever, dude. So there'll be a queen, and then next will be a king. Well, Prince Charles is next in line, yeah. Yeah. And so then he'll be the king. Yep. That they're sisters. Or that's, no, that's his mom. Yes. And then he's the king. Yeah. And then will he have a queen? No.

Or is it always... His wife will be the queen consort or something like that. Not technically a ruler, but... You have to be bloodline. Yes. So then... And then after him will be Prince William. Yep. The king. Yep. And then... William's kids. William's kids. Yeah. So it doesn't... It goes straight down like... You would think... I would think maybe Harry would be after William, but it goes to William's kids. So you got to have multiple kids. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, what's William got now? Three, I think? Yeah. And then if something happened to those kids, you got to go through them before it gets to Harry. Yeah. So I looked up, there are 61 possible...

A succession to the throne. And the first eight or 10, we probably have heard of, at least it's one of those people or their kids, but then you get to about 15. It's just people who have jobs. Yeah. Just a guy who's got to go about his life. Yeah. You know, he's working, selling real estate or. Oh, really? Or yeah. I mean, I,

According to this? Yeah, according to this. Well, not enough to live in the castle. They're just out there. I mean, would they not even be allowed in the castle? I mean, so much would have to happen. It's like, you know, during the State of the Union, they always leave one person. Yeah, they leave like the Secretary of Labor, Deputy, whatever. I mean, everybody would have to die. But number 61 here. He just sits in there. That person just sits in that room. He goes...

And he's talking to the, you know, the Secret Service. He goes, I know it seems like nothing now. Feels dumb in here, right? It could be dumb or it could get real real. Yeah. You know? And every time he comes to that room, they're like, we only lost three people. God. Yeah.

How close was it? Have you gotten that far in the West Wing yet where they have a scene about that? No. Or did you give up on the West Wing? I've not watched any more of it. But I need to go back to it. I'll go back to it. Actually, I started watching this show called Startup.

I've heard of it. Yeah. It was on Netflix. It's really good at making you think, oh, what's next? But it's a pretty way different show than the Western. I think he was watching the Westworld. The Westworld? No, I couldn't have watched that. That always showed people get cut up and stuff like that. Like, I'm out. How do these things, these movies, these shows, they show like, who wants to see this? Are we not done with that?

Like the horror aspect of it, like to be like, you know what? Show this scene just cutting down someone's arm. You're like, just do it, dude. Show them the inside of someone. You're like, who's, is there not anything that's just left where we, a little imagination? Yeah, yeah. I got to see the inside of an arm on the show. I can't even watch the show because of that. I don't even get to enjoy it. It's scarier not to see it sometimes. Just kind of tilt the camera away. That's my favorite movie, Scream.

Because you never see. Yeah. It's always, no one ever likes that. It's what I haven't seen, Shawshank Redemption, but my favorite movie is Scream. So, you want me to see Shawshank Redemption? I doubt it. I have a bowling ball with a Scream mask on the bowling ball. Laura's first gift Laura ever bought me. A bowling ball? That's nice. You guys used to bowl a lot more? She never went, but they...

Herman Jelain's me my buddy Jeremy Morrow PP we'd go and his nickname is PP PP the pronoun PP the pronoun oh yeah P was PP the pronoun and we would go Herman Jelain they had quarter mania and they would he'd always bowl Herman Jelain I always loved it my high is one what did I bowl 266

It's pretty good. Yeah. We were awesome. Me and him got really good. We'd go up there. It was like right in college years, 1920. We'd go up there as a quarter. So you could bowl forever. We would bowl every Wednesday just all for a few hours. So we got pretty good. So you're bowling a 266 while you're failing the bowling class.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not an on paper guy. I'm out in the real world. This is when you had to score it all yourselves. No, this is when the, the, the machines do it. Okay. And then, uh, you never had to bowl where you, yeah, in our bowling class. And I left, I'm not, I kind of know how to do it, but I don't, I forgot it all. But he was like, you would try to learn that. Uh,

But we would go up there. And then we went back. When I moved back home, we were like, hey, let's try to do it again. And so now we're in our late 30s. And it's like, it's all like, it gets night. Yeah. Like night light. Cosmic bowling. Cosmic bowling, like glow in the dark. And we're just like, music's so loud. You're like, I think I'm out. But like, we do it some. But it's like, you just want to go. Bowling's like, sometimes it's hard to get a lane.

Yeah. Like there's always so many, everything. It's not always the most spur of the moment thing you can go do. You're walking in and be like, let's go bowling. You walk in, they're like, oh, we got 50 leagues happening right now. Right. And you're like, all right. And they're like, why are you even here? Like you're supposed to like, I'm sorry. I didn't get the email about the schedule of bowling. Bowling is like, it's almost like it'd be like a country club kind of like with golf, but it's like,

you can't just wander up there always you know a lot of parties and stuff like reserve lanes yeah you have to do something like that but like it's not a hey let's go stumble in here and go bowling yeah you know yeah well so there's 61 people the number 61 I looked her up she is the granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth's first cousin I think so I mean so much would have to happen you know

Queen Elizabeth's granddaughter was an Olympic medalist. And like equestrian. Oh, horse stuff? Yeah, horse stuff. Yeah. That's what we'll be doing. That's what I'll be doing my whole life. That's what Harper's into. Yeah. My whole life's going to be horse stuff. Yeah. I've made a career out of horse stuff. I have a daughter that loves horse stuff. I'm not even that big of a horse guy. You can take them or leave them, really. Yeah. I have a new horse, Joe. Oh, do you really? Yeah.

Yeah. Not a specific. There's no callbacks in it. Yeah, if you're Queen Elizabeth, so you're on to the first cousin, it's something to say. I'd put it on a business card if I was her.

Welcome to Jiffy Lube. Yeah. Number 61. 61 in line. A lot's got to go down. But if 10 go, I'm probably next. You got to know that if 10 go, she's got to, 61 can come quick. Yeah, yeah, sure. You know what I mean? Like if you're in a situation where 10 are gone. The first six in line for succession to the queen have to get approval from her before they marry. She has to give them a consent. That's weird.

Yeah, I don't even know. Like Harry and William, they had to go to her and almost ask for her blessing before they married. Megan didn't get it. I think Megan didn't. She probably just said, obviously, you're wasting your time. Tell Megan not to bother. The energy of the room, we can tell this isn't going to work out. She's the only person in the world who doesn't require a passport for international travel.

The president needs a passport. And Oprah. And you're going to tell me, who else does? Oprah needs a couple of them. Queen Elizabeth doesn't need a passport, dude. That's crazy. Is it the only person? I think, you know, I just looked up president's travel. Yeah. Because I was thinking like, do they have to pack or anything? Like if you're president, are you packing? Do you ever pack? Yeah. Is it just kind of like, no, we have suits in the Air Force One. If they stay in a hotel...

I don't even know. They probably don't stay in that many hotels. You know, they probably go home. What was the answer? There's no real exact answer, but they were just saying, like, yeah, I bet they have someone, you know, kind of pack their bags. And I've seen, I've gone out with someone on the road. It's like celebrities that will do that. They have...

I don't want to say his name. I don't know. It doesn't even matter. But it was like, he'd go in, his room would be, like, his assistant would go in and hang everything up and unpack. And so when he goes in the room, his thing's all packed. When he leaves, he just leaves. And then the assistant packs everything back up. It was Graham K., wasn't it? No. Yeah. It's Gary Veeder. Yeah.

I was going to say Nick to Mickey. Yeah, it's Nick. I mean, you do got to go help Nick out. You know, you got to go in there. Nick packed. Dude, Nick will pack for... I mean, he came to New York. I think he went somewhere for a month and he had a backpack. I mean, for a month.

And you're like, this is it? Nick's always like, you never know what flight Nick's going to be on either. Because he's going to get to the airport. Something's going to happen. He'll try to get upgraded. He'll possibly just go to the airport and just try to get on one of the other flights. And he'll talk to everybody. So you never know when he's going to. He can get away with it sometimes? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he's just so convincing. And he's just fun. Nick's the best to go have fun.

You know, be like, hey, you want a table at a restaurant earlier? Yeah. Go send Nick, and Nick's going to, hey. Like, you know, just talk to him. He's just really good. Nick always comes up. He's always like that. Hey. You think, you know. Yeah. Oh, man. The queen is the monarch of 16 Commonwealth realms. That whole sentence, I don't even understand. Starting at monarch.

monarch to 16 Commonwealth realms. You just say that? That's what realm do you live in? I'm sorry, Hunger Games. I didn't mean to say what is a realm? It's kind of like a country, but it's more like some of these are countries like Australia, Canada, New Zealand,

She's over those? Yeah. She's over Canada? Yeah, we talked about it in the Canada episode. She's on their money. I barely paid attention. She's on their money. Oh, that's why. That's crazy. She visited the UFO landing pad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that. I remember that. That's the only thing I remember. Yeah.

But I didn't think about her. Yeah. But again, I mean. So here's a map of the countries that are current Commonwealth realms. So blue is where she can't go. Blue is current. The reddest countries that used to be used to be colonies or Commonwealth realms. Okay. So it's all kind of going.

You think she ever goes down in Australia? Or is it always like, oh, God, so far? I mean, just being like she's been trying to get rid of all. She's like, why don't we even do it? She's trying to talk to them. She goes down there. She's like, you know what? What if y'all just got your own queen? And they're like, no, I think we really like you. And she goes, okay, so I guess I could come back next month. Yeah, we'll see you next month. She goes.

Guys, I've been thinking about it. This is stupid. But you be king. She's just trying to give it to someone in the room. You want to be king? I just read a book. I can do that. Australia. And is that half of New Zealand? New Zealand's below Australia. I don't know. I think that's maybe Papua New Guinea.

Yeah, here's New Zealand right here. I know where that was. Papua New Guinea. You could have told me to go find Papua New Guinea. I might have tried to get in an aircraft, a spaceship, before I tried to go. I mean, I wouldn't have been in the right hemisphere. Is that a constellation? Yeah, I would have been so far. That was Papua New Guinea. Good work, Bates. Boom. Probably didn't say it right. What's the other half of it? Mama New Guinea. Come on, dude. West Papa. West Papa. Yeah.

Is it a different... I just caught up with that. That was funny. Is it a... I think it's part of Indonesia, man. Oh, Indonesia is even over there. Yeah, there's a lot going on over here. Thailand is... I don't even think about... I was in the wrong area for a lot of things. I mean, I feel like I'm walking... Is this Cuba? It's like going to a party and you don't know that person knows the other friend. You're like, what are you doing here?

And they're like, no, I live here, dude. You're like, you live here? Yeah, what is Thailand doing down there? Why are you not over, you know...

where is it maybe tightly it is where i think it is because you keep going yeah so maybe we just came at it a different i'm sorry i'm sorry dude i walked in the back of the house i thought it i've never gone in the front door you know when you don't use someone's front door you're like i always come into the garage i didn't even see it okay all right now i know where we're at let me get my bearings yeah okay

Papua New Guinea. So what's the other? Is that another country? West or the other one? Mamanugini? Is that a different country? Yeah, it's a different thing. You feel like Papua New Guinea. Part of Indonesia it looks like. You feel like, well, it's just near there. One of the Indonesian islands. I don't know. Is it that? I mean, I don't see another. But if Papua New Guinea is, if it's separate, why don't they just go like, can we just have our own thing? Like we're not even that big. No, dude. It's just east of Maluku. Okay? Yeah. It's just.

But there's a North Maluku. Yeah, there's a North. Why is there? It's east of the Maluku Islands. Dude, if we have a listener on Maluku, I mean, I will mail you a Nate Land shirt. I mean, I don't know how you get it in six months. Yeah, it'll be a while before it gets there. Yeah, pretty wild. So the queen rules over all of this, huh?

Yeah, I mean, again. But ruling. No government. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So her, she wasn't even in line technically. Her uncle became king and then he, I forgot the word, withdrew from the throne. Quit. There you go. Quit. Quit.

That's not what I was going for. But abdicated. Abdicated, yeah. Abdicated the throne. You know that word? Abdicate, to remove yourself from the throne. It's one of those words that has a very narrow meaning, like defenestrate. You know what that word means? Yeah. Yeah.

Is that a minister? You've never listened to this podcast. I mean, I swear, dude, you know, defense, it means to throw out of a window. Really? Yeah. It's like how often, how many opportunities do you get to use that word? Yeah. Now, I defenestrated this. You're about to find out. Where's Aaron? He got defenestrated. And you know, who's going to tell you that message? The secretary of defense, the secretary of defenestration.

So her uncle abdicated the throne because he wanted to marry an American woman who had been divorced once and was in the process of getting divorced again. And the prime minister said, you can't do that. That's against the Church of England rules.

So he just gave up the throne to be with this woman. And did they stay together? Mm-hmm. Oh, they did? So it was true love. I guess so, yeah. It'd be great if it was just like he does that and she's like, after like a week, she's like, I'm just not feeling this. And he's like, well, I mean, I gave up quite a bit, just so you know. I had a pretty good title. She's like, I didn't know you were going to do all that. She goes, well, I liked it because you were the king. What are you now? He's like, well, now I'm like 75th in line. Yeah. Because he's probably not even in line anymore.

Like he circles back around? He gets back around. He gets to the back of the line. He gets back online. To the back, buddy. Back online, yeah. And that cousin of the second granddaughter of the second cousin's got a little chipper attitude. They have a big party going, bye-bye, one more. And she moves her little head up one spot. Number 60.

Yeah, he suggested that, how about I marry her and I keep the throne, but she just not be called queen? And they're like, no. A good compromise, I think. Yeah, they didn't go for it. I don't know. It doesn't feel like a family of compromises. No. It's like not even a family, but it's not. It's kind of set in stone. It's like the rules are the rules.

Yeah, it's interesting though, but the prime minister is the one that's telling the king, you can't do this. But that feels good. Oh, God. I bet they love that. I bet they. What? You mean call her? I'll call her. I mean, he just thinks. He just constantly. I've been dying to call her. Oh, no, I'll call her. You know what? Tell her to swing by. Yeah.

So Queen Elizabeth's dad, his younger brother, then becomes king. You're from Memphis. You're from Memphis. Where are they from? I'm from Hollywood. I'm from Hollywood. Hollywood.

You're from Memphis, Tennessee. He just does that. I'm from Sussex. You're from Sussex. I'm from Sussex. What's another town over there? Winstonshire. Liverpool. You're from Liverpool. I'm from Sussex. Is Sussex the main part? I don't even know if that's a place. Sussex County. Where's that at?

I don't know. Tennessee? No. I don't know. I don't know. You know all the counties. I've heard of Sussex County. I thought there wasn't one here. You know the counties. Yeah, I know the counties. There's not a Sussex County. You think the Royal Family, what do they do? Do they have a game night, you think? They do. They can't play Monopoly because it gets too heated. Oh. It's like me and my brother playing Risk. We used to get in fights. Yeah. We couldn't handle it.

It wasn't a fun... You took it real seriously? I think we could play it now. We're older. But, I mean, it was in our 20s. We were two... You're two still brothers. You're too much still so competitive. There were two kids at my high school that played Risk. But isn't there a part of Risk where you roll dice? Yeah. Whoever has the highest number. Instead of doing that, they played games of chess. Yes.

Yeah. Instead of rolling dice. So this game lasted eight, nine months. Yeah. They just played it every day. But it's like being like, instead there's not, there's not a luck of the draw.

No. It's like you truly got to beat them. Yeah. Yeah. You had a wood play. I gave a chess every time. I mean, I like it that if you wrap your head around, like, this is going to take nine months. It's going to be a long. It's going to be the full year. Yeah, right. And it's, you know. But if you started losing, it would just be because risk just starts tumbling down. Yeah, dude. You go from, like, it's fun to, like, you're just getting, like, it's over. Risk is great. I love risk. Is that what Kramer Newman were playing? Yeah. Yeah.

Ukraine is weak. Ukraine's not weak. Yeah. So the queen's uncle, he was just a wild card. Nobody wanted him to be the king. He just did dumb stuff. I guess the rule is when you get your face on the coin, you always look the opposite direction of the previous monarch. But he liked one side of his face because that's where his hair was parted. So he insisted on being the same side of the coin. And then about the time they get them printed...

He was king for less than a year. Oh, wow. And then he was out. So there's very few coins even out there. They're very rare, they said, if you have one with his face on it. But he has some, as he did. But he showed her, I'm on a coin. She's like, well, I could do that at the Six Flags. Yeah, at the zoo. You put a penny in and crank the thing. Why'd you have to give up everything, dude? We could have just dated or something. You know? Yeah.

Can we go there and eat or something? He's like, they don't want me to go in there anymore. Lower the drawbridge for me anymore. Where do you live at? I think it's a studio apartment. Where at? Near Radio Shack where I work. He gave up everything. It's a huge mistake. Yeah. Oh, God.

Does anybody salute you anymore? My dog. You know, nothing. Just gave up everything, dude. All of it gone. He's not allowed to do, you know. The queen sends a card. Yeah. Every Christmas. Something. Did she sign it? You're like, nah. I don't think so. Her people sign it. It's like a,

If I'm not mistaken, it's my granddaughter's cousin. Looks like her handwriting. Oh, that's cool. Could she be queen one day? Maybe. A lot's got to happen. But that was the first domino to fall, so she got pretty excited about that. Have you guys seen the movie The King's Speech? Yeah. A couple times. Yeah.

It's a good movie. I've never watched it. I think I tried and it felt too much. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just getting talked down to. A little too close to home. Yeah. Well, I don't even know what it's about. Like, it's the guy that writes the speeches for him. No. And I'm way off. Yeah. It's not that at all. It's about the. Is it like an equalizer? Is he the prince or the king? He's the king. He's Queen Elizabeth's dad. Okay. He's like a Jason Bourne. He's the king during World War II.

Or one. Two. During World War II, and he has a really bad stutter, and he has to deliver these speeches, so he finds a speech therapist to help him. Yeah. That's what it's about. It's not about the guy who writes them.

Just the guy that teaches him. So then it's just basically a two-hour watching a guy learn how not to stutter? Yes. It is? Pretty much. Yeah, okay. He does a good job. So you basically have to watch the whole time it takes. Yeah. My dad stuttered. Yeah. Yeah. Or speech impediment, like stuttered. So I've seen it. I've seen it. Yeah. I've seen the movie.

In real life. In real life. It's a great movie, though. It is a great movie. Yeah. That was Queen Elizabeth's dad. He died at 56, and then she became queen at age 24. I mean, is there a ton of just him stuttering and slaps him in the face or something? Is that a scene? Huh? Is it? He slapped him in the face? The guy gets frustrated. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He gets real frustrated. Yeah. So that's a scene. But the speech therapist that he hires is very good and patient with him and fixes him. Yeah. Yeah.

Not fixes. Fixes is the wrong word, but helps him do the speeches. Yeah. Yeah. Well. It's just based on a true story. Is it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So then Queen Elizabeth becomes queen at age 25. Her mother now has to call her your royal highness. I'm going back to the Matrix.

I just like not to know. That's cool. I watched all the Mission Impossibles twice. They do some King stuff in there. They have something over there. Some British flag over there. A guy with a stutter. I think one of the ones they do, don't they capture the Prime Minister or something? I think they go to the Vatican. They kidnap the Pope or something.

I would be in the group going, we got the prime minister. I'd be like, well, then who cares about that? No one's going to come after him. They're like, no, no, he's like the main guy. I'm like, oh. Oh, yeah, my bad. Oh, so it's good. Because I thought we grabbed the wrong person. That's what I was thinking. Oh, great, what, we're trying to get 50 bucks? God, this is pointless. This guy actually runs the whole thing. He's above the queen. Yeah, above the queen. Oh.

Oh. Wow. He tells the queen who to marry. Zip up a little bit and you're like, sorry. Here's some royal rules. Yes. Yeah. If you eat with the queen in the royal family, you have to eat fast because once she stops eating, you have to stop eating. I mean, she's an old lady that's going to not even eat. Like, if you ever eat with an older, like a grandmother, they barely eat. So then she's like, just four peas and she's like, I'm out. You're like, huh?

I mean, talk about intermittent fasting. You'd thrive over there. You'd move up the ranks fast. Oh, yeah. You think that's one of the, you know, like there's the unwritten rule that you don't start eating until everybody has their plate. But you think. We did not honor that at your wedding, by the way. No, that's fine. Well, that's impossible to do at a wedding.

Did we? I mean, I think we just don't. Oh, we wait until everybody's set the food down. Yeah. At your table or whatever, you know. I didn't eat before their. I jumped in that macaroni and cheese pretty quick. Almost every time I'm waiting, somebody goes, yeah, go ahead, dude. Don't wait on me. I feel like the queen has to do that. I don't think she does. Yeah, I'll just keep eating. I'm full, full at night. You don't think the queen has those kind of. I make fun of it. I actually don't mind it. I do like some of this like kind of.

kind of like, I think it's kind of fun. Like, I think it's, I think it would be annoying. I bet in her immediate face,

people that are around her i bet it's a little they can do whatever they want and then if you're kind of on the outskirts i think it's a cool thing to say oh we can't eat like people want stuff to say you don't want to go how is it you guys i don't know she was like she's out there burping like she said no i eat her feet were up on the table you want it you want the story to be like i'm not allowed to eat when she eats eat that's what you're buying but if you're a family you're like come on grandma like oh gosh nah nah come

Come on. Let me eat. Come on, Nino. Me, me? I'm starving. You have to hold your knife in your right hand and fork it out. And just funny, sorry. How old is she, too, that the 61st in line is a grandmother's cousin? Like, it's like there's so many amounts of people underneath her knife.

She's been around for so long that there's just, they're like her, she's like, it's like grandchildren. Well, Prince Charles has been first in line since he was three and he's now in his 70s. That's crazy, dude. He's like, I'm not even going to get a shot at this. Yeah. I'm not even going to get a good run. Yeah. There's been talk about just skipping him. They should. Going to William. Ha, you can't do that. Come on, dude. You can't.

You know. Yeah. It can't be like he's just sitting there like, oh, no, I get to follow the one lady. Who won't die. Who just can't. Oh, let me guess. Her physical went great. No, it's my mother. I love her. How long are you going to be here for? How old is she? 95. Her mother lived to be like 101. And she was still the... And they don't ever...

I mean, for like 50 years, her mom had to call her daughter Your Royal Majesty. I mean, do you call her like Izzy or Elizabeth? Maybe behind closed doors. Yeah. Beth. Yeah. Yeah, that's a different one. All right, sorry. All right, so you hold the fork in your left hand, and instead of stabbing the food, you have to balance the food on the back of your fork and bring it to your mouth. Okay.

So you don't use the actual... Not the prongs. What we're getting is they don't know how to use a fork. Long story short. You have to kind of lift it up and... Can you imagine...

That it's just been someone in their family didn't know how to use a fork. Yeah. And then now it's turned into they're doing even like this 100 years later. And it's like, he goes, like, if you could go find that guy, they go to heaven and they go, you remember the fork thing? He goes, I did that as a joke. That was like one day. Oh, they're still doing it. Oh, they're still. He's like, what? What?

So how would they do it? Turn the fork over and balance it on the back of the fork and then maybe use your knife and lift it up. No spoons though, huh? Well, not for cutting. But you're not going to use the prongs on the fork. Might as well be a spoon. Yeah, well just use a knife. Wait till Sporks make it over there, dude. Taco Bell's been trying to get in that window forever. They, uh...

That doesn't even, when they do it like that, I would be, look this up. Look that up. I want to see if there's. If it's a real thing? Yeah. This is only according to that. Yeah. But there, because it doesn't, it doesn't make, how would you, A, the older you get, you kind of shake. Yeah. So she just can't eat. Maybe you get used to it. It's probably like chopsticks for the first time. It seems impossible. And then you just figure it out. They're all still pretty difficult.

It doesn't make it seems crazy to be if you just put it on the back of your, you know, you can only eat one at a time. And I mean, it's insane. If you went there and you go in the back of their forks now look like regular fronts of the forks. You're like, all right, dude, well, you're just using forks. He goes, no, no, that's the back of it. I go, whatever, whatever, whatever. We're calling it. We're calling it. That's fine. But you go tell me the back of the forks are for it. It sounds a lot worse than it's basically a double sided forks.

And I would think you would look...

Say, shouldn't you look like power, right, if you're queen? Well, if I'm another kingdom and I go have dinner with them, I'm going to leave and be like, we're going to attack these people tomorrow. These are the dumbest people. They might shoot themselves with the cannon faced backwards. I'm just saying that's a possibility. If I'm another king of another kingdom, I would have walked out there. I mean, I would have stole stuff. I would have started knocking their drinks over and be like, we'll see you tomorrow morning. Yeah.

I would tell them how we're going to do it. I'm going to come over your dumb castle right in the front. You guys don't know how to eat. And then they get destroyed. All right. Nothing on it? I mean, I can't find video of people eating. Well, I mean, depending. I'll look into it. Yeah. I confirmed what Brian said. I found a bunch of articles about it. Oh, yeah. Okay. But.

You're not supposed to touch a member of the royal family, especially the queen. But Michelle Obama ignored it and hugged Queen Elizabeth in 2009. Were people mad about that? Some people said the queen initiated it. But that's supposed to be a big no-no. Like no one can touch her. Right. Yeah. I mean, unless maybe if she invited you to. Yeah. Prince Philip. Yeah. He obviously touched her. Yeah. Women have to... Women cannot cross their legs...

Yeah, I think I saw that. She touches her. Maybe can she touch whoever she wants? I'm sure she can. Yeah. I would like to deny her a hug. If I ever met, she'd try to give me a hug. I'd be like, absolutely not. I don't allow people to touch me either. I know I'm not anybody. I know I'm probably 80th in line or something to get your job. But I also don't.

You know, just the heebie-jeebies. You know what I mean? I just don't care for it. Yeah. Women can't cross their legs in the royal family. They can cross their ankles, but not their legs. Oh, my ankles are crossed right now. That's got to be frustrating. Yeah. I love sitting with my legs crossed. How? Like, you know.

You play knee over the knee? Make sure Holly's not behind me. Yeah. I like it. Oh, you can do it like that. I can't get that far. Oh, I'll sit like this all day. Big fan. Big, big fan. I'm an ankle on the knee. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like – I mean, I do that some. That's the very man. Oh, yeah. That's like, you know, a guy. Oh, guy on his porch. Yeah, just sitting there. Welcome. Feels good. Yeah.

Welcome. Glad to have you. It does feel like that, yeah. Whoa, whoa, don't touch my mama. Come on in. We have this, I don't know if you ever watched the Royal Family stuff, but we have the same kind of rules they got. We do the same thing. We do the same thing over here. They have to travel. Anytime they travel, they have to travel with black clothes in case someone dies, and they have to immediately go into mourning.

Oh, like, yeah, because the first picture they're going to get taken of them is going to be... There's like a whole thing they have to do. So Queen Elizabeth, when she was still princess, was on vacation in Africa when her dad died. And she didn't have any funeral clothes. So she had to fly back and I guess her safari, get up or something. So now it's just a rule. If you fly somewhere, you got to have mourning clothes, as they call it. I mean, it is like, you know, it seems crazy, but you're like, yeah, you would get...

The amount of people that are going to see the eyes that are going to be on her. She's going to get off that plane. They're going to take a picture of her. If she does have the safari thing on it. She's got giraffe pants. Everything gets sent out out of context. They go, here's a picture of the queen after finding out. And then you're like, she doesn't care. Her dad died. It is pretty crazy. I always think that, too. You do, I mean, stops. But you get on TV or something. You're like, yeah, you got to make yourself. All these people are going to see this.

You got to think about it. Same thing. I go the same thing she goes through. Go ahead. Two heirs to the throne can't fly together in case there was a crash. So what's... The amount of booking all the flights for that, you got to do down to 60? Yeah.

All right, last one. She's taking, she's on Southwest. She went on Spirit in the middle seat. Number 60 is just, you know. Spirit. Can I get a water? She goes, no. She goes, I'll give you water, but you can't check a bag. Can I have a little respect? What if my plane goes down? We're trying to, we're hoping your plane goes down. I'm going to be honest with you. We're rooting for it.

um the queen signals when her conversation is over to her staff by moving her purse from her left arm to her right arm it means i'm tired of this guy it's time to move on well it's not a very good secret yeah now if i met the queen that's all i'd be looking at yeah you know she just sits there and she just grabs it right in front of your face doesn't even try to be secretive about it and she goes i think you know why i did that yeah

She just hands you the purse. You're like, what's it? Boom. You don't know what that signal is. Whoa, what's that? You're going to get tackled. Cart heart down. Cart heart down. She wears bold colors on purpose so people in the crowd can spot her easily. So that could come off as arrogant, but I think it comes off as like,

It's the same mentality as Joe, I think it was Joe DiMaggio that said, I play, or Mickey Mantle, either one, but they play every game full on because you never know what some kid's first time and only time ever getting to come to the stadium. It's not fair for that kid to not get to see me try my hardest. So like that kind of thing is like, you could see that's arrogant and you're like,

Everybody wants to see her. Yeah. Don't be dumb and act like you don't care. And so she's trying to do the right thing and be like, I'm making it easy for everybody. So, you know, I don't want to take anything from anybody. It's not about you. At that point, it's not about you. It's about them. Yeah, that is. There is a huge crowd, so you can easily spot her from a distance. The royal family cannot vote or publicly express any opinion on political matters. Mm-hmm.

They've done that, haven't they? Yeah, hasn't that been a big thing? With Megan? Yeah. I haven't followed that much, but something's going on. Well, she's new. There's a comic that knows her, Matt Ruby. Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm. He knew her from New York just a long time ago. She was just an actress in New York? Yeah, yeah. Kind of crazy. Yeah. Kind of crazy. And then she's now this.

According to the documentary Serving the Royals Inside the Firm, that's what it's called, The Firm, Prince Charles has his pajamas pressed every morning, his shoelaces are pressed flat with an iron, and he has his butler squeeze one inch of toothpaste on his toothbrush each morning. That's pretty good. And he's got a special called The Greatest Average Brit. I make the same thing.

What? Iron your pajama pants. Huh? What'd you say he's got to spend? He's got a special called The Greatest Average Briton. Yeah. That's funny. That's not that good. I mean, not after Mama or Pop Mama Guinea. Trying to bring some comedy to this podcast. Somebody's got to. Yeah, I'd love you to.

At Christmas time, if you're a guest of the Queen, they weigh you. You have to weigh yourself before and after you leave. And it's a sign of respect. They want you to eat up and have a good time. So if you gain weight, that shows you enjoyed your stay. To me, that would be for something else, not that. That I don't believe.

Like what? Like you think it's. Like make sure you don't have something in your coat. Like, you know, like make sure you don't steal something. Yeah. Like you don't, you know, walking out like wearing a bunch of jewelry or something that you're supposed to. I mean, maybe, but I think it's very few people get invited. I think Meghan Markle's mom was like the last new person to come for Christmas dinner. And so. Get on the scale, ma'am. I don't think so. Like, you know, like this. What do you think they'd do if you've lost weight?

During this. I don't know. Get back in there. Eat some more. What was it? Food poisoning. Food stinks. Yeah. They tell them that. Yeah. The royal family doesn't eat shellfish because of the threat of food poisoning. Oh.

They just have to be so proper. Yeah. That's got to be just so, I mean, that's probably why you don't even want to be out much because you have to be. You have to be that to people. Yeah. You have to be everything to these people, man. Like you have to be so proper and so like you can't like have just anything go wrong. I mean, I think it's loosening up.

Like it's going to loosen up. Obviously the Meghan Markle and Prince Henry or Harry thing, that's probably a good thing, even though it's like whether people want it or not, it's probably not a bad thing. It's probably going to make it be not a little more approachable than it ever was, you know, whether you want it to be her or not. And I'm just saying like down the line will be, you know,

a little bit better. Like even like Prince William and Kate Middleton. People love Kate Middleton. I think so. Yeah, I think she's like, people love her like Princess Di. Yeah. So there's a whole in-depth process of when the Queen dies, like the whole procedure. Once the doctor says she's dead, the Queen's private secretary calls the prime minister and says, London Bridge is down. That's the code word.

And then they call. I mean, it's such a crazy code word just to kind of just then be like, she's 104. You know? Yeah. It's like you think, like London Bridge is down is like, it feels like we got an assassination. Yeah. And it's going to be like, London Bridge, he goes, London Bridge is falling down. I'll call you back. Now London Bridge is down. Is that what the song is about?

Probably. I don't think so. I mean, it has to be. I think this comes from the song. Oh, okay. I mean, look it up. I don't know. Yeah, it has to be. I mean, there is a London Bridge, obviously. Yeah. I mean, what are the odds that that song has nothing to do with that? What's the... I'll look it up. All right. So once they say London Bridge is down, then they call the 15 other Commonwealth governments that we looked at on the map and let them know.

And then all press outlets get a news release all at the same time. But at the exact same moment, in keeping with royal tradition, a footman in mourning clothes comes outside with a notice and hangs it on the gate of Buckingham Palace. So that's very old tradition. And at the same time, the royal family website also has an announcement on their website. Then Prince Charles becomes king.

He calls the government. The next day at 11 a.m., he's proclaimed king and they swear their loyalty to him. And then he goes on tour to visit the 15 other commonwealths. So it's a very formal, everything. And then they have the funeral. Yeah. There's a funeral. That's going to be just wild. Yeah. Like, I mean, it's, you know. That would be a big deal. Like, I think when she, you know,

It's been there so long. She's been there so long. And it's probably the last. I mean, he is too. But like, you know, then once it's, it's just going to change so much because it's like kind of that old stuff's going to be gone. You know? What do you think the equivalent that would be of an American culture of somebody dying? Somebody who's just been an institution like that for so long? Or president. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, as far as where everybody watches it or something. Yeah, or just like it would be that meaningful to American culture. Like a celebrity? Mm-hmm. I mean, it's like Biggie. Like when Biggie and Tupac died, they're like...

Is he even talking about big, kind of crazy funerals? Like, those were huge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a country mourning. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, a country would mourn. I guess, yeah. I guess that applies. He laughed a little too quick. Well, it was just funny to hear you say that. Biggie and Tupac? Well, when they... I mean, I feel like it was on, you know... It was such a big deal. Yeah. I mean, especially in those... I guess in New York. I guess the whole country...

Like someone's got to go and it's the entire country. I think it's got to be a president. I think it's too, you know. Yeah. It's got to be a president. I mean, obviously there's some celebrities. If they died suddenly, it would be shocking. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Oprah. London Bridge, by the way. Yeah. Is about, I mean, it's about the bridge. Yeah. So not really. I always think like Ring Around the Rosie.

That made me think every children's song has some hidden horrifying meaning. So this song, London Bridge is Falling Down, just about the bridge. And then they use that as the same thing as that. I guess so. London Bridge is Down. That doesn't make sense. It has to be. Whoever came up with that song, I don't believe them. Just say it, dude. Just say the reason you came up with it is because of this. Yeah.

Do they talk about London Bridge falling down a lot over there? I've never talked about a bridge falling down ever in my life. We got good bridges. I'm never worried. We got good bridges. We got way better bridges over here. There's been a lot of songs about the Queensborough Bridge falling down. Golden Gate Bridge falling down. No. No. There was one time where the king and queen ruled together.

William and Mary. Oh, we named the college after him. Yep. As a token of our gratitude. Thanks. Why did they... Why did they rule together? Yeah. Why do they not rule together now?

Because they're not... I mean... Oh, wait, because they got to be blood. Yeah. So how did... In this case, they made... Do we want to get into this? No, it's not like that. In this case, they made an exception. The king was Catholic, and they didn't like that. So his daughter was a devout Protestant. So they overthrew... Her husband helped overthrow the king and let her become queen. But...

She didn't really want to rule that much either. I'm probably getting part of this wrong. So since he helped overthrow, they just said, let's rule together. And they just ruled as king and queen, William and Mary. I mean, it sounds like a mess. That's like Meghan and Harry. But back then, it's all like, there's just drama. Because let's do it together. But that's, I think, the second oldest college in the country is William and Mary.

So TV viewership of these weddings, it's one of the most watched events ever in history. The most watched of any royal thing was Diana's funeral. 2.5 billion viewers in 1997. That is crazy. More than MASH? Is that more than MASH? 2.1 billion. Yeah. That's a third of the world. A lot of people watch MASH, dude. Yeah. In this country, but this is worldwide. MASH was worldwide, dude. No. MASH was in the millions. The show was in Vietnam, dude.

uh korean war the that's so crazy is this the most watched thing okay no i think olympics and mash at 106 million imagine 106 million a little less than 2.5 billion that's why i got canceled did you really think did you really think it was a billion people watched man i thought it was an astronomical amount of people yeah i did

We talked about this on the TV episode. For American viewership, Super Bowls and MASH are the top things. But for worldwide, it's Olympics, it's World Cups, and then... Princess Diana's funeral. What was the most watched thing? I think it was one of the recent Olympics. Maybe the 2012 Olympics. I mean, it has to be more than 2.5 billion? That's so crazy. The World Cup, 2010, 2014, 3.2 billion. God. But is that like every... Is that...

every like uh they're adding all the world cup viewers you know what i mean you mean through the whole tournament yeah uh that's a good question i don't know like this is the uh this is a one-time this is a one-time thing 2.5 billion people yeah i mean how many people are on earth i looked up 1997 it was like five something billion i think i mean dude that's half the world yeah

Pretty wild. Yeah, basically half the world's got an access to TVs and half doesn't. And it's probably almost everybody because it's not 2.5 billion people alone. Almost everybody's watching it with other people. And so that's basically the whole... I mean, it's got to be the most watched thing ever. I don't know. I mean, that's... Well, he looked up. There was something that was 3 point something billion. Yeah.

Yeah, it's the World Cup. But keep in mind... But I know what I'm saying is this World Cup, is it one game or is it the entire tournament? Oh, right, right, right. Like if it's the entire tournament, then it's not the most watched thing. And keep in mind, this is 20-something years ago, so there's a lot more people in the world now. Largest collective global franchise viewing in the world and has been watched by 3.2 billion. Does that know what that means?

FIFA World Cup has attracted an average of 3.2 billion viewers in 2010. Overall live event. Most watched overall live event by average. I know, but you see what I mean? So is that 10 games? Like what's the single most watched live event? Okay. Type in that. I'll look it up. All right. Do you remember when she died? So I remember where I was at. Yeah. Yeah.

And it was in, yeah, 97. So you just graduated high school? Yeah, yeah. And then I was, yeah, when Princess Diana, when she died, I was at this girl, Liz Embry. I was at her house, 97. So I think I just graduated high.

I think I just graduated high school. Maybe she was a year younger than me. And we were at her house, at her parents' house. And when it happened, it was at night.

uh and i remember that i was in memphis we went because you're covering it well i was working at tv stations yeah but i went there for fun because the tennessee oilers played in memphis in 97 yeah it was the season opener uh and so i went up there to stay with a buddy of mine and we went out on saturday night i'd never been to memphis and went out on bill street and before we left that night we'd already got word that

The crash had happened. I think maybe her boyfriend, Dodie, or whatever, had already passed away. Then we went out that night on Bill Street. Then we got back late that night. The news was saying she died. I just remember it was so shocking. Did you care at that point? I just knew it was shocking. But I remember... This will sound...

but a few weeks later, Chris Farley died. And I remember that affected me more. Oh, that's perfectly fine. I think, but there's so many women and friends of mine that were just in tears. Yeah. His funeral too. Uh, Chris Farley. That was 3 billion. Did they have a funeral? I think they did. Did they show a funeral for him? I just remember a video of like celebrities walking in. I know where I was for that too. Uh,

I could drive. I'd have to drive to Nashville auction. Used to be, I don't know if it's there anymore. Lebanon Road? Yeah, that goes downtown. Yeah. Yeah. And I was right. There's two gas stations, right? This is only for Nashville people even. Old Nashville people too. It's not even like young Nashville people.

But there used to be, the auction's not there anymore, I don't think. Okay. And then, but there used to be an auction there. I worked at an auction and I was driving home and there's two gas stations across from each other. And I was right in, I don't know why, I was right in the middle of it, middle of those gas stations. And I heard it on the radio. They said, Chris Farley just died. Wow. And I remember being, I just remember, that's what I remember. I mean, Princess Diana, I was, I remember being over at Liz's house and

I remember it being night. And then I remember that Chris Farley went too. Yeah. Crazy. I mean, as I was driving. Were you old enough for a movie? I was five. So no? No, I don't remember. So the most events... See, these Olympic ones are...

It's like the Summer Olympics. It's like, I don't know how you can count that. So go to live events. That's overall. Like, that's two months. So two billion people watching in two months? Yeah. How many people die on a normal cruise? 30, 40? So let's go. The most live events. Yeah, we got some singular events here. Muhammad Ali and Leon Spinks, two billion.

which is crazy. Now that has Diana also at 2 billion, but History Channel said it was 2.5 billion. Yeah. So Muhammad Ali, he's got a couple. So I mean, golly, dude, that's so famous. These are regular events.

So like just the one day that to me is more impressive. Yeah. Michael Jackson's funeral was up there too. Two billion. Hold on. Don't scroll. September 11th attacks. Yes. Two billion. I mean that, that, that, that whole world had to watch. I mean that, that's almost like, I wonder if you can, you can even track them because that was on every channel. So everybody was watching. Is this all billion Baywatch was 1.1 billion. Yeah. What's up with that?

Aloha from Hawaii. Was that Elvis? Yeah, that was Elvis. It was like a live concert. Oh, Prince Henry and Meghan Markle was $1.9 billion? Yeah. Wow, Muhammad Ali's got a bunch of them. He's got a bunch of really famous fights. Yeah, dude. That's crazy. Yeah, Muhammad Ali, George Foreman. Obama. Yeah. The Wall live in Berlin. I kind of remember that.

Like, I just think I remember it being on TV. I don't remember watching it. That's a live concert. Do you? Oh, it is. Yeah. I thought it was the wall coming down. When did the wall come down? About that same time. Oh, okay. Um, the Gulf war. I remember watching that every night. Uh,

and then he's watching that's a very broad thing the goal for you got one billion people yeah of course I guess dude is it just who heard about stuff you know like uh I don't even know what there's something on there set the set of me Jatar season one I don't know what that is Prince William and Catherine Middleton they go they had a billion uh

Captain Middleton. I think Prince Charles and Diana's wedding was a billion. Although I don't see it. Muhammad Ali. Prince Charles and Diana. Man. Do you think now with so many people just watch stuff online that can even track it the same? No. It's got to be. 9-11 I think has to be up there

That's a pretty interesting list, though. Go back down, like, when he gets to 600 million. But I think 9-11 has to be up there because it just was, you know, it was like America just doesn't get attacked. Yeah. So it's like that was such a crazy – and that was on everything. I mean, it was just the amount of people that, you know,

Yeah, if you think about an event that you just, like COVID is probably the craziest thing that's happened in our lifetime. But still, for just a singular event, where were you? You're not going to think about COVID. You think about 9-11. Right.

yeah, I can't tell you the, the, where I was the first time I heard about COVID. Yeah. You know, I know the day we stopped. I do. Cause I was on the road. But when you found out, when you heard that it was a thing, it was like the March 12th was that last day. And then that was the day where everything had canceled. So it was like, but you'd heard of it before that, but that much before, I mean, like you, it was like, it was, people were kind of mentioning some stuff, but it was, it was just kind of like, is this thing serious? Is it getting crazy or whatever? And then it was like, it,

But everybody remembered just watching everything getting canceled. It was like 10, 11, 12. It was like just all kind of like, this is canceled. I remember being on. We had the video of me on. But them going like they just canceled all arena shows for Live Nation. And so it was like that. It was like all this stuff was like snowballing and be like, well, this is getting canceled. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

Members of the royal family, they have to walk in in line of succession. So Prince Philip always had to walk behind Queen Elizabeth. Yeah. But... So it's like they know. So it's like... So she's the queen, he's next. Like that? Yeah, like Prince Charles' wife has to walk behind him. Yeah. But then if they all walk in together, it's... Well, now it would just be Queen Elizabeth. But then Charles, then his wife, then...

I'm drawn to Mike William and his wife and then the last succession. So if they enter a room, it has to go in that particular order. Does that make sense? It's such a headache. Yeah. Who's sitting there making sure all this happens? I think it's, but it's only proper kind of things. So like formal events. Yeah. I mean, it's not like you're just like, I have to go to the bathroom. Can you get behind me real quick? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Queen Elizabeth was born. You don't want to go after it? That's all you don't think of? I have to. I had to go after Prince Henry. Oh, God. That guy had gout was the least of his problems. You're like, oh, I had to follow the queen. You're like, I had to kill to follow the queen. Literally, and you can to move up if you want to. Do you think you'd like to be a member of a royal family? Yeah, I think it'd be crazy.

If you break it down into the fact of do you want... People are like, I don't want that celebrity. I just don't think you're not... I think it's crazy. I bet they would tell you they wouldn't want it. There could be times that they don't like it. But if you truly are born into it, you appreciate what you're born into, it's a tradition that I think helps a lot of people. I think people like watching this stuff. People like...

You know, they like the country. It stands for that country. It stands for, you know, that stuff means a lot. It means a lot to a lot of people. So if it's about, if you make it about you, you're not going to like it. If you make it about what it's supposed to be about is the people, then you will love it because you're giving to the people. But once you make it about yourself, and then, yeah, it's going to be too overwhelming and you're going to hate it. Yeah. Yeah.

End on that. Yeah, that was a good mic drop. Changes everybody's life. Yeah, that was good. Naples, Florida, June 11th and 13th. Tickets moving. We need Sunday. Sunday shows are almost all sold out. Sunday. If you want tickets, I think it's Sunday. And June 13th. Yep, also Sunday. Also Sunday. If you're in Naples, fly up to Nashville. Come to my 4 o'clock show. You can get back down for his. Then you can get back to my late show. Yeah. And then Aaron. June 25th through the 27th. Sainty, Chicago.

I'm headlining. Come hang out. It's a big room. It's a big room to headline. Yeah, it's fun. It's a great, great room. They have a great note on the wall from Ellen DeGeneres. What does it say? Erin's not good. No, it's actually a newer note. No, her saying that she would love to work the club. She wrote a letter, I think, to the...

and like was trying to, you know, run the, be like, Hey, I love it. I think I'd fit at the club or something like that. It's pretty cool. That's cool. Yeah. Atlanta punchline. You can see written. It's, it says, thanks for letting me bomb here. Bill Burr from years ago. It's pretty cool. Oh yeah. They're,

the other one, yeah, the one that Cleveland and hilarities is, uh, it's the club that Seinfeld was at when he got the call that he got the show. Wow. And they called him there and like, and told him like, I believe that's the, it's, it's that I believe that's the story. It's that if it's not exactly that it's something like, like either they're where they are, they got picked up or for a second season or something. There was something like along those lines, but yeah, that's pretty cool. Pretty cool. All right, everybody. See you next week. Thanks.