#30 Inventions
01:52:58 Share

Hello, folks! Welcome to Nate Land. Started off with it this time. As always, I'm Nate, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. Thank you guys, as always, for listening. We got some nice merch this weekend. I got...

Nice little hat, Nate Land hat. Pretty good. If you're watching, you can see it. Who gave us this? It's a guy, Tim Kohanski. Yeah. Fan of yours, fan of the podcast. He made that hat for us. Pretty cool. Yeah. I like that. It's a good hat. It's the kind of hat I wear. And then also Kevin Best. We saw him this weekend. He came down. Big J was in town. And...

And I know I said we were going to have Big J. We just weren't able to do it. You know, it's hard. Our setup is, it's not just always set up in this room, so we weren't able to do it. But I went down and hung out with Jay this weekend. He came over, and so it was good. And Kevin came down and made us some more shirts and then some pictures, which we have up right now. Or not pictures, but a drawing, art. I feel like that's down, like that's,

He gave us a new picture. And you're like, all right, it's a little more than that. Give us a doodle. Yeah, it's good. It was great. So we got that. Yeah, I mean, he's also, as people don't know, he's always the dead horse behind me. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. So that's a play on the Three Stooges. Yeah. And do you even know who that is, Aaron? Three Stooges. Larry Moe and Curly. Yeah. I've never seen him. I've never seen anything, but I know. Sometimes Shemp.

Curly was in her... He wasn't always there. I didn't know that. I remember Three Stooges. It's like Mr. Bean. Would Mr. Bean be your guy? Your Three Stooges? I think so. Is he not part of it? Is it a totally different thing? Is mine Ernest T. Bass? He's my kind of crazy guy. He had Mr. Bean. He had Three Stooges.

They came out during World War II, I think. They did. Yeah. I mean, I think it was the 40s. Yeah. Did you watch them? Not live. I've watched them. Are you listening to them on the radio? Syndication. I like their humor. Without something. Would y'all sit in the living room and cross-legged just... Right after Little Orphan Annie. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, so yeah, it was a good weekend. Good weekend of getting stuff, which I liked. So, yes, we are going to start, as always, with the comments. We love reading your guys' comments. And so, first up, Marty Ammerling. Marty Ammerling. I thought it was a woman for some reason. It could be. Could be. Marty is a woman's name? Ammerling sounds like a woman's last name. Is that...

I don't know why that kind of does. It kind of does. For some reason, uh, Marty Amarling, when you see them together, you kind of go, uh, ma'am in late October of 2020, I was diagnosed with cancer. Sorry, Marty. Uh,

Complete hopelessness and despair would be the only way I could describe how I felt. I couldn't crack a smile, sleep, or eat. I can't remember how, but I stumbled across your podcast as a recommendation in Spotify in late November. I'm finally caught up on all the episodes, and thanks to all of you, I've been happier and find myself smiling randomly when a random comment you made pops in my head. Going to bed used to be something I would dread as my mind would race. These nights, I just put on an episode and fall asleep with a smile on my face.

I can't thank you all for what you've done for me. You're more than just a break from reality. You're lifesavers. Marty, thank you. Sorry about making fun of your name, Marty, but that's awesome. We hope you're doing great, man. That's the stuff. I love that. We get a lot of stuff like that, and that means the most. That's the hardest to do.

To just, you know, just be dumb idiots. Did you know we're categorized as an educational podcast on Spotify? Oh, I like that. I think people learn some stuff. I think you learn, what you learn from this podcast is just some weird, like you say something at a party and they're like, oh, I didn't know that. And then that's it.

That's what we're... You're not going to be a professor after listening to this. Right. We're just... You're in a boring conversation. But then later, they repeat it at a party and someone said, you know, that's not true. Yeah. Where'd you hear it? And they go, this podcast was... And then they go watch it and they're like, this is who you're listening to? This is where you're getting your information from? I've been thinking about like... It's about like boring stuff. When people tell stories...

to me, I don't know if it's my age, like if you're 40, or just me being a storyteller, but I mean, I'm always like, all right, we got to wrap. I do not, if someone starts a story, I'm like, come on, I can't, I can't, I can't sit through this. And it's got to be a mix of,

you're older and the older you get you're just like time's a ticking like i don't i know this story is going nowhere but i think as a storyteller you i know i know that you're just adding trying to add in details that don't need to be there like because details are funny and that's what makes a story but you got to know where what details and when to put them and they need to be interesting yeah i've noticed it a lot lately like someone starts a story with me like just somewhere and i'm like all right

You just got to go, all right, where's this? Hey, I'll stop. You got to stop and go, all right, what's the end game of this? Just get to the end of it. If someone wants to tell a story, just get to it in just regular life and then try it on people. You tell the story all the time. If you're telling a story at a party, try it first quick. Get to it quick. See if it gets a laugh.

And then you can go back and add some detail. But you got to work from that way. Start quick and then expand. They start with the expanded version and then they don't ever actually get it. Was this about Marty's cancer story? Marty little dragged on there for a little bit. No, no.

It sounds like we're really going after Marty, but we're not. It was when you said the boring, you suddenly said boring, whatever. That's what made me think of it. I thought of that this weekend. It has nothing to do with Marty. Marty is the reason we do this podcast.

Tammy Dillon, Nate Aaron and Borat are absolutely hilarious. This week's Rhode Island episode was my favorite so far. Yeah. Roger Frederick is in the back is in the back. If you want to go ask him some questions, but he's a talker. You could be here all day. I was laughing so hard at that. I was crying and my husband ran into the bedroom cause he thought something was wrong. I couldn't catch my breath to tell him what I was laughing at. I've never laughed so hard in my life. Uh, thank you, Tammy. That's fun. Yeah.

I forgot what it was. Just that. You said that. We were just talking about the International Tennis Hall of Fame. Oh, yeah. You were like, Frederick's in the back. He's a talker, though. He's in the back. How are you guys doing? You guys enjoying the museum? It'll be your whole day. And you're like, oh, oh, oh, yeah. I agreed to set the door. Okay. Yeah. It looks like it's lovely. You got to climb over a net to get in.

That's a good idea. That's a good idea. Some people can't get in because of that, and they don't change it up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they go, you got to get over the net. You're like, I'm older. I can't get my legs that high. And they go...

I guess you're not going to see the International Tennis Museum today then, aren't you? And they walk them right back out. Melissa Swain, just before Christmas break, had the opportunity to introduce our 13-year-old son to the podcast. Now he's catching up by watching all the episodes on YouTube, and we're having a great time watching with him. Our 9-year-old daughter watches with us sometimes and feels it's her mission in life to come up with a new name for Bacon Bits every episode.

She started a list she now makes me keep up with. I appreciate that Nateland is something we can share with the entire family without a sullen teen attitude. Sullen? Sullen. Sullen. Without a sullen teen attitude or one of us being embarrassed by the subject matter, looking forward to learn more about the 50 states from the unique perspective of Nate, Aaron, and Bushel.

Bushel's pretty good. Those are good, yeah. Bushel's, that's just, I mean, no one likes a bushel. A bushel of stuff. I wish I knew her nine-year-old daughter. If you had a bushel of Bryans, you're like, oh, God. Aaron Brawner.

I think this could be an Aaron and Brian comment. It does sound like it. It sounds like y'all just made up your own. Haven't missed a podcast yet, but this one was by far my least favorite. Please don't do all 50 states. Maybe look up crazy stories in Florida and move to a new topic. That could be y'all.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, we're, I hate to tell you, Aaron, but there's a great chance we are doing maybe more than 50 states. Puerto Rico. I thought it was 52. I'm learning right now, Aaron, that's only 50. And so it's your lucky day because it's, I've been convinced a few times that there was 52 states. Mm-hmm.

For some reason, you're like, how many are there? There might be soon. There might be soon, but you just randomly get, you know, like you think about it too much and you're like, are there 52? I think I'm pretty set on 50, you know? Your mind's not open. 50 stars on the flag. Yeah. Well, then you break, you go, yeah, of course. You don't open your mind much? Not in that way, no. Well, you should. Come on, Aaron, what are you doing, man?

We, the states are, it is, I mean, it's a commitment. We're not doing them every week. And that's what, that's what we talked about. We wanted to do them. We didn't want to do too much. I get that. It could be too crazy. But again, as always, this is the, we're just trying to do stuff to make jokes off of. And we, this is a good thing to look at. Obviously we've kind of learned some stuff from these states, which is kind of fun. And if you get to hear your state, sure. Aaron, here's the state. And then he'll be excited.

But he lives in Florida. But he lives in Florida. He just wants some Florida stories. He just wants some Florida stories. How about you learn about some of these states? Right. The steamrollers are in Rhode Island. We didn't know that. Yeah. Would have never known that. Someone else said, I know you have it in here, but I kept thinking about it. Like someone was like, I wish I got my two hours of my life back. That idea that people like say that, people say that a lot where you want to go, what are you doing? What is happening in your life?

that what would you have done with those two hours like what do you have going on where we all you know just hey stop listening who gets to the end of the two and goes i wish i could have that hours boy that you need to be a better decision i feel like most people are doing something when they're listening to this right they're doing the dishes they're driving they're mowing the lawn this guy's just sitting with his arms crossed just marks off

That day is, did you get after every day? I tried. I couldn't because I had a lot of days wasted on me. I love the idea. That's a very saying that a lot of people say to, you know, wish I could have 10 minutes of my life, but like it's a funny put down. And it's, you always, what is everybody doing? What is, how active is your life that you're like, that you need it back? You're like, yeah, we did you a favor. Not everything's fun.

Rob Rinesmith. That's how this podcast is. Not everything's good. And that's what we do here at Nate Land. Rob Rinesmith. You have to do part two of Rhode Island. I mean, I think Rob's going too far. Providence Mayor Buddy Cianci. Cianci. Cianci. Oh, you spelled Providence Mayor Buddy Cianci. His name's Buddy Cianci?

Are the people writing these out phonetically or are you going? I'm trying to do it to help him out, but I messed up. Buddy Cianci. Yeah. That's not made it worse. Was involved with the mafia, was arrested while mayor for killing a guy with a piece of firewood, served his sentence, and then got elected mayor again. Students at Brown University would invite him to parties and he would go.

A couple of the students made a musical about his life. They made a song about his wife who they named Nancy Ann. They made her Nancy Ann Cianci.

Nancy Ann Cianci. Yeah. Fun stuff. That is crazy. Yeah, I missed that totally. And so I looked him up and he didn't kill a guy with a firelock, but he did torture him. Yeah. Okay. The guy was messing around with his wife, supposedly. They separated, but Buddy got a hold of him, had a cop guard the door and burned him with a cigarette and beat him with a firelock. Oh, man.

Then went to jail and then got elected mayor again. That's the, I mean, maybe that's a mayor you want. And that guy means business. And got convicted a second time. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it's the second time he got convicted for racketeering and went to jail for like five years. Wow. So the students at Brown University read that in the paper and were like, we got to get this guy to come party with us. Well, that makes me like Brown University. In fact, that's what I'm talking about. Open your mind.

Yeah, that's what you go talk to. You go talk to a regular mayor that's going to go, here's the normal things that you say all the time. I agree. Or a mayor that's going to walk in and put a cigarette out on your own brown university floor. Yeah. And you're going to go, you can't smoke. And you're not even going to think to tell him you can't smoke in here because it's obviously he can't. Right. He doesn't even have the attitude. You wouldn't even have the opening to go, we don't smoke inside. He's like...

Yeah, this guy was a legend. What year was this? I think he started in like... He was a political on the rise in the 70s. He spoke at the 1976 Republican Convention. There was some talk about him being vice president. And then he did some crazy stuff. He ran for Senate.

in his own state, even though they already had a Republican candidate. He's like, well, I'm just going to run. Yeah. As the Republican candidate. Doesn't matter. What does it matter? He doesn't care. Wow. He just did some crazy... He started in between the time he was sentenced to the time he went to jail, he started his own radio show. Oh, really? This guy rules, got it. This guy shows up to play beer pong with you? Yeah. Yeah. Is he still alive? No, he died a few years ago. He was running for mayor for the third time after he got out of jail. Yeah. And then I think he died like...

Or he would still be there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that is a mayor. I think every, however, in your government that you have of every state, you should have one of them. Mm-hmm. Just somewhere. Yeah. It doesn't really matter where it's at in the rankings. Just bring one buddy's CNC. You need one guy that's in there that's like, yeah, I don't know what's going to happen. Just a wild card, man. Just a wild card. I love it. Yeah. Yeah.

Garrett McDonald. I listened to the pod on my way home from coaching a middle school basketball game that we lost in the last seconds. The pod had me back in a great mood on the way back. It also had me thinking I should have checked myself into the game. I wasn't aware that that was something a person could do. Keep up the great work, folks. Yeah, just get in, dude. I mean, like.

Let me tell you who would get in there. Buddy Cincy. Because you, I mean, Garrett, you could get in and if they go, you can't get in. You're like, is there a rule that's saying that? They're going to go, I guess probably not. And then you're just in the game and you're, you know. I'm activating myself. Activating myself. Rob Cruz. My buddy and I went to a Wendy's in Providence and were victims of a hilarious and well-orchestrated fast food heist.

It was one of those double window system locations. So as we pulled up to the first window, we noticed a couple sitting in a car next to us in the parking lot. Not thinking about it, we paid for our food and with incredible time and precision, they sped up to the second window and snatched our food. They flew out of the lot through a red light. Multiple cars swerved out of the way and almost crashed like a movie bank robbery.

sitting in disbelief my buddy and i without saying a word slowly turned each other and just bust out laughing we pulled to the second window and the cashier just looked at us and said they jacked your food huh more of the story is providence is a crazy city more than people would think that's very that's a uh i never even thought about that yeah yeah you wouldn't think of that that they're gonna do that i mean just uh yeah no one sees them pull i guess you're like why are they pulling in

Weird that they steal the food as it's being handed to them and not the money. But how would they get the money? Yeah, but the police are going to get called and money, food, I bet you. You just let it slide, I guess. What are you going to do? What do you mean, how would they grab the money? The same way they grab the food. But the money's done at the first window. You've got to give them money before they're going to give you some back. So once they get paid, they pull in front of you. So then when they hand you food, they just hand it to a clerk. Oh, wow.

I think I tapped out when you were reading that. I thought they were running up and grabbing it and then running away. They're in the car. Yeah. They're in their car and they just swoop in. Yeah, swoop in. Interesting. Yeah. I kind of respect it. You're trying to change on it. Maybe if you tap out, don't chime in with anything about it. Because we're back to just where we started. You're going, oh, I actually kind of liked it. You're like, okay, yeah. Maybe listening to the whole thing. Sorry these are boring. Sorry about that, Rob. Aaron can't handle it.

You've got a long day ahead of you.

Bobby McComas, I wish I would have had my whatever minute you wasted of my time. Everybody that listens to this podcast agrees that Aaron wasted minutes. We're all going to count down all the minutes wasted. I'm sorry. Bobby McComas. Hello, folks. I cannot express how much joy your podcast brings to my life. I've never experienced laughing tears so much and hope it continues for at least another 50 states. I wanted to see if you were aware of a spurious correlations.

Of spurious? Spurious correlations. Correlations. Spurious. That's how you get me. Yeah. You get me on kind of a front word. It's almost like I don't see a tag. It's like before you get punched and a guy's like waving his fist like this in a circle. And I'm like, what is he going to hit me with that fist? And I never see the other fist. And I'm like, oh, there it is.

When Nate correlated, you're using a lot of that word. When Nate correlated life expectancy to Walmart opening, it was the first thing that came to my mind. Some people have made a living looking at completely unrelated topics and then make charts to show the similarities. Every time Nate comes up with an unlikely reason for something going on in the world, I'm reminded of the spurious correlations of the world.

I have attached a couple of the charts from this website. On the flip side, I love Seinfeld references. I once bet to drop 10 Seinfeld references into a presentation to the review group that grants funding from our organization. I won the bet but did not receive any additional funding. So he put charts up. Yeah, you have those, Aaron? Yeah, you saw them. They're very funny. These are basically graphs that are trying to make –

It's just like your Walmart and life expectancy. Some of these are very funny. So the first one there, US spending on science, space, and technology and correlates with suicides by hanging, strangulation, and suffocation. Oh, like it goes together. Yeah. Like it's, you can make an argument. We'll see. Yeah. When, when, when spending on space. We have more hanging. Yeah. Suffocations. Yeah. This is crazy.

Number of people who drowned by falling into a pool correlates with films Nicolas Cage appeared in. I mean, this is unbelievable. Like, how are they? We're going to post all this stuff. I mean, this is crazy, dude. Like, everything can correlate with everything.

Bed sheet tangling? Per capita cheese consumption correlates with number of people who die by becoming tangled in their bed sheets. Wow. So if you eat the most cheese, you have the greatest chance. I mean, this is something they would read on the news and it would be factual. Don't eat a lot of cheese. If you feel you're in a house that's eating cheese, just be aware. One of you might get caught up in your bed sheets and you ain't going to make it out. Yeah.

Divorce rate in Maine correlates with per capita consumption of margarine. So butter. So they...

They eat so much butter, which would make you... That leads to divorce. Gassy? Doesn't butter? I'm sure it does. What's the difference of margarine and regular butter? Margarine's cheaper. I know that, right? Yeah. I don't know. I thought margarine was the fancier butter. I thought so, too. I think I'd rather have margarine. I don't know. Really? I have no idea. Yeah. But his point is...

Yeah. That's great. You can find two things and put them with anything and make an argument for. Yeah. And then just be like, it's a, this is the problem. That's so funny. Yeah. There's a lot of funny. Margarine is a highly processed food product made from vegetable oils. While butter is basically concentrated dairy fat. Yeah. Butter is healthier margins, but margarine is a design to imitate butter. It's like the cheap, it's the cheap knockoff. It's not cheap. I think it's the real deal. Uh,

Here's the next commenter. Mary Margera. Golly, you should have asked her. Her name's Margaret, but...

I got an advertisement for a prescription medicine for gout after listening to this episode. Advertising algorithms are now categorized your listeners as gout sufferers. This is the direction your podcast is headed. Congrats. We are the podcast of the gout. That's, dude, so they're just getting, that's funny. That's so funny. Because if Aaron's gout, I guess we all got it.

I'm still getting comments. Yeah, a lot of people are still worried about you. Did you get checked out? Somebody hit me up and said, I'll get you an appointment with a doctor, a listener on the podcast. Are you going to? Yeah, I'm going to call him this week and set it up. They gave me the phone number and everything. I got a few things I want looked at. Yeah, they're going to gout. Gout's the least of our problems. They're going to worry, what jacket are you going to wear? Yeah.

Got your hat picked out? You excited? I mean, you got to go in looking good, dude. You're going to be, yeah, the Nate Land pocket. You can't just go like a typical doctor. Bring out the NASCAR jacket? You might have to. They might want to see it. They're going to tell you to join a gym. Yeah. Oh, good. You'll be like, I just canceled. Somebody said that you can call and just say you're scared of COVID, and then you can cancel over the phone. So I might do that this week. Yeah, you should. And just be like. Weren't you going to do it last week?

every week. Listen, I had a lot of plans last week. This is your, the definition of how they're a company, how they are staying open is just, you've talked openly. You've publicly talked about canceling this for three weeks now and you still haven't done it. I mean, that's how much they got you guys. It's been four years, man. I know, but it's funny to go. All right, well, you go talk about it to all these people listening. Everybody's listening. We're all hearing you say it. It's not like you're privately privately is one thing. You just keep,

And every week he has a new way to maybe do it easier. Yeah. You know what they said? Smallpox is making a comeback. And so just call and say. I forget until I show up here. And then that's how it happens. I go, I'll do it this week. How much is it? 10 bucks a month? 10 bucks a month and then like 60 a year or something. Oh. So it's been several years. That ad's been adding up. Yeah. I mean, and there's a ton of yous.

Their whole company is based on you. I mean, it really is, though. Yeah. Yeah. You should walk in there with some, you know, like, well, I'm the one that's keeping the lights on. I'd like to see it. I'd like to see my investment. Michael, as for the prohibition amendment, in order for any amendment to become law, it only needs to be ratified by three-fourths of the states.

I like the word ratify. Tim?

It's in there a bunch. So he's basically saying, even though Rhode Island did not vote for prohibition, three-fourths of the states did, so it passed, so they still got to honor it. So it wasn't like they were just boozing it up in Rhode Island. Oh, they still had to honor it? Mm-hmm. But they didn't?

They didn't vote for it, but three-fourths of the states or more, well, more than that. Yeah. You only need three-fourths of the states to vote for to pass the amendment. And then it's just like voting. Even if you didn't vote for a candidate, if that candidate won, that's still your person. Yeah, it's still the person. Okay. All right. Kind of checked out on that one. Yeah.

I got really focused on the word ratified. I just kept looking and go, there it is again. Ratified. Tucker Emerson. I almost said Emerson.

But Tucker, I almost said it again. Emerson, Nate's unwavering confidence in himself is unbelievably funny. When Aaron told him he wasn't quite qualified to be an adjunct professor, Nate was blatantly offended, even though two minutes earlier he stated he didn't know what adjunct meant. This was after asking the age-old question, what's an art school? Laughter

i still don't know what adjunct means but i don't see why i can't do it i'm gonna tell you what you know who did a lot of stuff buddy cnc and i and i operate like him mostly just sitting there you just do whatever you want you just go in that's with every every rule you could really just go in and go but why is this rule and everybody go i don't

The rules have been made so long ago that we could just show up and go, I don't think we can do that. And they'd be like, okay, that's fine. An adjunct professor. I still don't know what it means. What did it mean? It means like you're not, it's not your main thing. It's a supplementary job. Yeah. You're like a visiting professor. You have expertise in a field so you can speak on it, but you're not employed by that university. It doesn't, oh, it doesn't sound very, because that's kind of a cool thing, right? Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't sound cool.

I think there'd be a better adjunct professor. Sounds like, all right, hope things get better for you, man. Like, that's what I would say to someone if they, what do you do? I'm an adjunct professor. And you're like, all right, I hope you, you think one day you'll be a full professor or that's what I would say to them. And I'd go, I don't know, that guy is an idiot. He's an adjunct professor. He's a junkie. And that's what, and now we're four people removed from going, he's a drug addict. Yeah.

Do people introduce themselves as that? I don't know if they go around introducing themselves. Do they say before he walks in, here today we're having an adjunct professor? No. You just say, no. I don't think. No, you don't go, hi, I'm adjunct professor Nate Bargesi. So why are we even, why is the word even good? Because that's what they're called, you know? So I know, but when they go to the class, they go, hello, we are having an adjunct professor today. It's a tenured professor. They don't go, hi, I'm tenured professor Bob.

I know, but that's a professor. That's his job. An adjunct professor is a visiting professor. I know. So if you're sitting in your class and then you have one of these guys come, does your regular professor go, by the way, today we have an adjunct professor? It's not like a substitute teacher. Yeah. Like, you know, they go, today I'm a substitute teacher. Do they go, hello, this is an adjunct professor? Do they go, this guy's a traveling professor? He's a...

Like he's a, yeah, he's like a clown that goes, hello, I'm here to talk about gout. Oh, this guy knows a lot about gout. Knows too much about it. To be honest, he limps in. Uh,

Traveling professor. That's so funny. I just see him park his car. He pops his trunk open. He's got the bar that hangs all his jackets in the backseat because he's traveling around. What jacket are you going to wear today? Where did you sleep by last night? I slept in my car. I barely made it here. It's like a dude doing gigs. Ronald McDonald. I was in Michigan last night. I had to drive through the night and barely got in. What?

Where's the class at? It's right there. Michael McIntosh. Hello, folks. Shout out to Nate, Aaron, Webfoot, and Brokeback Munchkin. Oh, Aaron Webfoot and Brokeback Munchkin. Love all three of you and the staff, too. I'm from the UK, so it's hard to relate to state facts, but I'm learning a lot. I'm learning a lot. Like, New Jersey has the most Greggs. Could you shout out Siobhan?

the mother of my 20 month old twins and ask her to marry me would be a great start to my year. Siobhan, marry this man. He's going to get married. I mean, we hope. Yeah. We don't know anything about him.

Well, but I mean, he's made it to here. Maybe she's not happy with this. Yeah. But the mother of her 20-month-old twins. They should get married. They should get married. Yeah. They have a nice family. Yeah. So I hope she doesn't. Yeah. Let us know. We're going to find out. Either way, you got to let us know. I hope she listens to the podcast. She's going to go, hello, this is Siobhan. I think he sounds like a great guy. I left him. He was an adjunct professor, and the job was real hit and miss. Yeah.

Me and my young twins moved on and found a tenured professor. Either way. That's awesome. Congrats, you guys. I hope you made it. We'll see. We will see. So, yeah, I have been getting healthy. I've been working out. I'm doing good. This week, last week was good. I could tell because I don't eat. I know people are probably going to want to eat.

good now it's the beginning of the year I'm trying to I've been working I've been eating I still I went to McDonald's this weekend I was like my weekends was like I go crazy and I just go but did you pull back at McDonald's or was it the normal order no it was normal extra cheeseburger number one with an extra cheeseburger yeah no onions with the side sandwich yeah that's what you gotta do

Yeah, I was trying to do, I mean, you know, I just big fast, I like fast food. I'll never not eat McDonald's. I just won't do it. You just don't do it as much, but I love it. And so, yeah, I went there and then had a couple, had a McFlurry and then even had a Sonic Blast last night. I mean, this weekend was, went after it. The whole week was good though. So then I just get back to it. But you can tell the difference. That's what's so crazy.

You feel, you know, like everybody always feels tired. Or people I say they're tired. Because you could tell when you just eat better. It's not like I'm eating that crazy of a thing. I went and just bought like steaks and like grilled them and then cut them up and been eating them with salad or, you know, then put some chicken in.

A crock pot, crock pot, and then you just have it for the whole week. You pre-make it, and then you can make burritos, and you just heat them up real fast. And so it's like that idea of not... For me, it's just eating at home is a giant thing. Just eat it like... When I talk to the guy about eating better, he's like, we just want you to eat at home. I'm not measuring stuff. I'm not being a... Because I'll never do that stuff. I've got to wean myself off. But you can tell...

Uh, this still sounds like it's bad for me. It's not, but it's like, I'm just, I'm just saying, I know people like, I get it. I get how brutal it is to eat good. And, uh, after this week of eating good, you can just feel it. Like I, uh, when I, you eat bad, you get tired, you crash off the food, like almost like a sugar high, then you crash. And then, so then usually you crash by the time you're about to eat again. So I would eat, if I'm eating McDonald's three times a day, it's like, then you, then you eat it again, you know? Yeah.

And then you feel okay, and then you get tired again. You realize, you're like, oh, that's why I'm tired all day. Because I'm not putting any fuel. Honestly, you're just not eating enough. Most people, if they eat bad, they don't eat enough. And if you're eating healthy, you start to crave healthy food, right? You start to want that. Yeah, you just don't want to feel bad. I mean, I always felt that with drinking. Like, with drinking, if I think about...

Anytime you think about drinking again, I just think about how you're going to feel that next day. And you don't want that. And so then that helps you stop a lot of things. But if you go eat healthy and then go eat bad, you will feel like, oh, I actually feel this food makes me tired. Now, I've still got to train that into me. Trust me, I could go eat McDonald's right now. I'm not saying all this is out of me. But I could really feel it this weekend that you go, oh, it makes me just...

That tiredness and that kind of like, you know, whatever feeling puts you in a bad mood. Yeah. Food is pretty wild. I mean, I know there's someone listening to this that's healthy that's like, idiots. But I mean, most people don't know, you know. I think most people. I didn't know. I don't know most people. I didn't. I just never, you know, I just ate. I don't think about food. I'm not like the biggest food. I'm not a foodie. I don't.

You eat to eat. It's going good. Then these fat losers, not like me, start attacking y'all. I'm going to come in here ripped and go, oh, God. Here

Here you go. Hey, welcome to the Neyland. I'm neighbor. I get to sit here with gout one and gout two. They got them in their hands. He's like, eating healthy makes you a better person. It really does. It's just mean to us. You know what? It makes you appreciate life more. What did you two hogs eat this weekend? Yeah, what did you go? I'd be surprised y'all even make it in every week. Yeah.

And so speaking of which, this week we're going to talk about Rhode Island part two. We're mixing it up. We are still going to keep doing states. So we will get to more and more states. And look, if there's an overwhelming y'all hate the states, you can tell us and we won't do it. And I mean, I wouldn't even be mad because I don't know if it's going to be annoying or

to hear about all these kind of states. So, yeah, I know that we, you know, we comments, some guys are being funny. Some guys are serious. Some of those are not, but you know, we kind of weigh it out to be like, do you like the States? Do you not like the States? Maybe we can put a poll up.

And see, we'll probably do a couple more. Then we can, you know, after a couple more, then let's fill it out and see what you guys think. If you, you know, we won't do them every week. But I think it could be. But I'll say I knew nothing about Rhode Island going into that. And I feel like I know a lot about it now. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's good when you go travel to it. You know, it's like, you'll be like, oh, I've learned they had a mayor here that shot a guy. Yeah.

It's going to be more fun, I think, when we start comparing some of these states. Yeah. Start seeing some trends and things like that. People, now that people are like, oh, God. Once we get to talk about the states together, people are like, oh, my God. I wish I could have my one second back. That's what you should ask for, just seconds. I just need one. I need two seconds. Can you give me those two seconds back? I'm not greedy, but how do I get those two seconds back? This week, we're going to talk about India.

Inventions. Yeah. You know, doing research on this, it reminded me a little bit of the best time to be alive episode we did a few weeks ago. Because you read about some of these inventions that changed history and you're like, I'm glad we had this. Because before this existed, life was not as good. Yeah. For sure. I mean, you guys have already basically laid out your greatest invention, toilet, air conditioning. I think we both could see that. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll stand by that. Air conditioning? Over the toilet. Do you think you'll change our mind going through some of these? I mean, I'm going to try. Okay. I'm going to try. I mean, I still don't know the air conditioning over the toilet. I mean, it's just... You're still going to say toilet? Well, I think... Yeah, I mean, you don't need air conditioning all year. Yeah, I think, yeah. And then toilet is, you know... Mm-hmm. I mean, it's just a mess, dude. It's a mess. Literally a mess. It's literally a mess that you have to deal with. I mean, how long can you, you know...

I think when you get down into it, you would then change your mind. I mean, I like them both. I like them both too. I'm just saying. Air conditioning is great. I get it. Yeah. But you could go stand in a cool cave. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, you're right. They'll just go down to a cave, and it always feels great. Where's Aaron? He's in a cave. You know how it gets during these summer months.

that's what they would just open a window where's aaron at he's in a cave he drove out to this he drove an hour out to this cave and he's just sitting in the dark and he's just like oh i drove we have cars yeah the scenario no acs no acs no toilets but but i got a car but you got a car and you drove down in this cave what would you guys guess it was the first invention ever

The wheel. Oh, you know what? No. I looked up inventions once trying to write a joke about them. Is it the... I don't think it's the wheel. It wouldn't be fire. I mean, I would almost say a lever. A lever? Like a pulley or a lever maybe. Like a fulcrum. What? What's a fulcrum? You know, like a seesaw thing. Oh, yeah. That kind of... Is that what they say? Is that what you said? Fulcrum be the thing in the middle. Is that what you say when you go ride as a kid?

You're just a fun kid. You guys want to go fulcrum? And everybody's like, oh, God. Do you remember riding the fulcrum a lot alone?

Is it that? Is it because that's how you described a lot of stuff? Hey, you guys are going to ride the fulcrum and they go, I don't, you know. Anybody want a fulcrum? We're going to just swing. I mean, that is what it is, right? Anyway, was it the wheel? It was not the wheel. The wheel came on a little bit later. Stone tools were the very first invention by anthropologists. Pulley was a pretty good. Yeah, that's good. That's good. That's a good stone tools to...

make stuff with and he pit people with yeah fire was right up there fire they says the greatest invention of all time yeah it yeah it was more like a discovery yeah first guy oh i mean the first one that came when did it happen i mean yeah we don't 125 000 years ago they said yeah yeah you've got the great joke about yeah who knows how yeah there's no way of

You've got the great joke about if you went back in time, you don't even know if you could prove you're from the future. Is there anything you guys think you could invent if you went back in time? So that was part of another joke that I had was thinking, how far would I have to go before we could have an invention that I think I could invent? And it's pretty, I mean, like a harpoon.

is I forget when a harpoon was made but a harpoon was like an invention that you're like I don't think I can make a harpoon because it's you can make a like a sword but a harpoon it's got to shoot it so you can make a sword no I'm saying anybody make a sword but a harpoon's got to shoot it so you got to build the thing that shoots the harpoon yeah yeah so I mean like that's I'm saying why you couldn't make a harpoon yeah you think you could because you make the sharp part but you couldn't make the shooting thing right

And then I don't think I can make the sharp part. I mean, you'll need to sharpen a stick with what? A rock. Yeah. Rock or something. I mean, I'm just saying what you could invent. I mean, could you build, could you make a fire out of nothing right now?

I mean, I watched, I think I could figure, I mean, I watch a lot. I've watched a lot of survival shows. I at least would know the idea to try to, I think it would take me forever. Yeah. I'm not saying it would ever happen, but I would, if you walked over, you would be like, that guy looks like he's trying to start a fire. Yeah. You know, I'm not going to be just climbing up, you know, just like rubbing a tree with my chest. Like, and you're like, no one knows, you know, if you are, people walk up to you and you're like,

They turn around. You go, could you start a fire? You go, well, I mean, you'd be able to tell that's what I was trying to do. Does that count for anything? So I think I'm a head start. Do you think you would even look like you were trying to start a fire? Or would they go, sir, what is your end goal here? And if you go fire, they're like, oh, my God, this guy.

Wow. I think I would try to rub two sticks together. Yeah. Like you would just be friction. Yeah. Tom Hanks and cast away. Right. But you got to get, you got to get a, like a bark, you get bark and then you put it between your toes and then you rub like there and you just go back and forth and you get smoked very easy and it's hard to get the actual like cool or the, you know, and then you got to get that over and you got to have tender.

Or Tindle. Tinder, right? Tinder? I think they canceled Tinder. Yeah, did they? No, I don't know.

I mean, I don't know. What is it called? It's not Tinder. Kindle? Kindle. Or kindling? Yeah, but you get like a little. I would say Tinder. I'd say, hand me the Tinder. And so there'd be a minute of that person going, what? That conversation. That conversation. They're going, what are you talking about? He goes, you know what I meant. And I would get mad because I go, you know what I'm talking about. Right. Is this the time? Is this the time? I'm building a fire for you. I think I'd figure it out.

It would take a while, but I'd get the fire. I could do stone tools. I'd figure that out. Yeah. You're talking about going back in time. Yeah. That we know all that we know now. Yeah. I could, yeah, I could. It's just chipping away. Sharpening a rock. But I mean, it would have to be that basic for me and it still would take me a long time to do it. I couldn't make a harpoon or a sword. Yeah. For sure. Oh, forging stuff. No. No, I can't do any of that. No. So fire, they say is the greatest of it. It gave us warmth, protection, um,

It led to a lot of inventions, but the biggest thing is cooking. It led to a lot of inventions just because of the light, that they could see something. Probably. It led to the wheel. You're like, how did that? You're like, just to see, to work at night was huge. So this Vanderbilt University neuroscientist says that our human brains are not exceptional. We're basically like primate brains.

The only difference is we've learned how to cook food, which gives us enough nutrients to let our brain get the energy to expand. Wow. And if it wasn't for cooking food...

We would never have evolved. That's what they say because our brains are energy hungry and they need the calories. That's easy to say that now. Sounds like an adjunct professor. That would be what an adjunct professor would come in and they'd go, wow. See, everybody just always sits there and goes, wow, that's crazy. We wouldn't have made it if we didn't have fire. She says if we couldn't cook...

cook and we had to eat the raw food, we have to spend nine and a half hours every day eating enough food to survive. But back then, that's all you had to do. You didn't have meetings and you didn't have to, you know, the birthday part. No one even, you know, I gotta go, dude. I don't know. What are you guys doing? I gotta go help my buddy move. We've been gone all day. You just didn't have all that.

Your whole thing, it's like an animal. Your whole thing is, I got to eat. Simpler times. You just eat all day, huh? Pretty much. Nine and a half hours. Kind of grazing. Yeah, pretty much, like a cow. You think anybody was fat? Look up when gout was invented. Invented? Yeah.

Was it around the candy bar stage? Was it? Spurrier's correlations, and it was. Yeah. Does gout and Snickers sales prices kind of go together? The wheel was the next big invention, 3500 BC. The wheel was pretty important, but it wasn't the wheel that was so hard to make. People figured out how to make a round thing roll. It was the axle to attach to it. That really is the important part.

Yeah, that's kind of the main thing. Yeah, that's the main thing. Because then they could build carts and that changed everything. Now you can start transporting stuff. You can go greater distances because you can ride. When you think about it, what do you think about? When you picture just one guy has a cart and everybody's like, wow.

You see the Johnsons over there? He's got, I don't know what he's got. He's got his driveway over there. Yeah, what does he got? Have you seen him? He went the other day. I go, where'd you go? He goes, I went over to the river and back. I go, you made it back this quick? It's usually like a two-day trek. He goes, I just took my cart. There's not even a word for it. Yeah, he goes, I just took my four-wheel thing. We just went, put a...

Put a horse on the front of it, and he goes right there and back. Do they have a hole in the middle of it? And then just like, that's how I would do it. Yeah. A hole in the middle, and then just a stick across. That's how you would do it? That's how I would do it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it was pretty simple. Basically, the beginning, the axle. Right. But it needs to be in the middle. That's kind of important. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Because you put it on the edge, it's not going to roll well. I mean, just to watch the families that are not getting it. I picture all these families have to invent this for themselves. Yeah. Or then the guy starts selling them. But, yeah. How do you sell a shape, though? Bananas. Bananas. Fruit. That guy doesn't have to go hunt for food anymore. You want this? Right. Then give me some hay. Yeah. How much grain are you going to give me?

Oh, you'd bring the fruit and say... No, I'm saying that's how he would... He goes, do you want me to make you a cart with four wheels? And then you got to give him...

And this is how... But I'm just saying, once you see a wheel, you're like, oh, I'll just make that myself. You're not like, how do I do that, dude? It's just a shit. Yeah, but the... I know, but the whole hassle... I mean, there's plenty of stuff that you buy. You buy bottled water. Yeah. So, I mean, there had to be lazy people that were like, I don't want to go... But I mean, I thought we just... You make one wheel, and then you're like, I got to make three more of these. And then he's like, I know how to do it. I'll do it quicker if you just go give me some... Okay. But could you build one right now that...

Put an axle to it. I could shape a rock into a wheel. It'd take a long time. It would take a long time. It would take a long time. But the problem is like the tools. You don't think so, huh? No. If you had nothing, if they just gave you a rock and then you have to, like basically they go walk you out in the desert. They go, here's a rock. Make that a wheel. And then they leave you. You don't have anything. Like that's what, how do you do that? What tool do you go get to start chipping that rock away? Get another rock. Yeah. Yeah.

And you just chip away at it. There's a point that you would go, this is ridiculous. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, because you're going to be out there for a year. But also, these people aren't just in the middle of nowhere in the desert. They're living where people lived. Yeah. They got a town.

There's a Walmart that's not doing that good because no one can get there. And then, you know, the Walmart just shows up and then they're, you know, how are you going to get here? I heard a guy's making a car. Yeah. Yeah. The word gout was first used in 1200 AD, by the way. So it's been around a while. Shakespeare. Yeah. A little before him. Yeah. Yeah. The compass. Yeah.

It was very important. Before the compass, people like explorers, they navigated by the stars, but they didn't work during the day or on cloudy nights. Yeah. It's like Kramer in this time. Well, not night. It's a little bit tougher, but it can be with guests within two hours. It's a couple hours. Once the Chinese invented the compass, then they could start traveling long distances and not get lost. So that changed everything as far as the age of discovery. Yeah. And then they had a map. What about a map?

How do you make a map? You just walk and you go, yeah, there's like mountains here. And then you just draw and you go, there's like stuff over there. You just really trust the guy who wrote it. It was a very basic map. Yeah. You know, it's just basically like you're watching Naked and Afraid. They always show a map and it's like, no, there's snakes over there. Apparently there's one alligator right there.

That's my joke. If I were going naked and afraid, you ever see the map? They always have one snake and one alligator over here. And I'm like, all right, well, I'm going to avoid those two. Just avoid one snake and one alligator. And we're good. And that would be mine. That's how I would break the tension. Gunpowder. Gunpowder was invented in the 9th century. Also in China. It changed the way military technology happened. I mean, human history as far as battles. Yeah.

This is the biggest, maybe one of the biggest ones, the printing press. Printing press was the internet before the internet. It was invented by Gutenberg in 1440. And before the printing press...

We had no access to information except what people told you. Books had to be written by hand. There was no way to... I could argue we're back to that. It's still information people are just telling you. The Bible, changed the Bible because before that, the Catholic Church... The Catholic Church wasn't a fan. Of the printing press. Really? Why? Yeah.

Because they were, few people could read basically anyway and had access to the Bible and books of scripture. So it would, priest or monks would read it to you and basically tell you what it said and what it should be doing. But then once the printing press came along, they started printing it in mass quantities and it changed everything. People started reading for themselves. They started to come up with their own ideas. They couldn't squash an idea because they

they were spreading around, you know, they would try to squash an idea, but now 10 more people have access to it. It's basically, yeah, it is the internet. Like the internet's like that where it's like they need to like, they got to try to rail people in and like all this stuff. Yeah. They would call somebody a heretic and just try to get rid of them. But 10 more people would pop up. That's a big word they're using because they know people can't read. Yeah. That's what it is. You're a heretic. You're like, it doesn't even hurt my feelings because I don't even know what it means. Yeah.

It was also a cost thing too, right? I mean, owning a Bible before the printing press was like owning a boat. Only wealthy people had them. So then once you can print it really cheap, then all the peasants can get it. The best two days of buying a Bible, they get it, they sell it. That's the thing.

That's what they would say about it? Yeah. Bust out another thousand. That's what they say about the Bible. So the Protestant Reformation basically started because of the printing press. Martin Luther read the Bible, had a lot of problems with the Catholic Church, wrote 95 problems, put it on the door, and things went crazy. And committed heresy. Yeah.

Aaron's not a fan, but... I'm just kidding. He's fine. Worked out pretty well for you and I. Yeah. I'm not really aware of who we're talking about, but it's Martin Luther King Day, so I'm kind of focused on that. It's a different Martin Luther, but...

Also important. Same thing. Anyway, the printing press changed everything because then people could start reading for themselves. Newspapers started. Everything. I feel like an adjunct professor sitting at the lunchroom of two professors that work there. Y'all are just making local jokes to each other. And I'm just sitting here like, oh, what are you here for? I'm just giving a little quick speech today and then I'm getting out of here. I got to drive to Ohio tomorrow. Going

Going to community college, speaking at lunch. Well, all the denominations of churches that broke off from the Catholic Church kind of started after this. After the printing press. Yeah. Once people started reading and they come up with their own ideas or problems they have, and then they're like, well, let's do this or let's do this. Yeah. So it was kind of like the internet before the internet. Yeah.

but it changed the world because now everybody could you know have access to information on their own and then they started doing i mean how do they even tell everybody i guess they started printing it and then they go here's this piece of paper yeah and he goes how'd you get this he goes well the instructions are on there that's what you think that's what they did at first the first thing they printed was the instructions on how to make another one another one why would that not be there

The first thing they should have made. What was the first thing printed? Should have been the instructions of the printing press. Just so we can have them down. What if someone knocks off the guy that goes, I know how to do it. And he's the only guy that knows how to make it. And he's like printing hello on it. And you're like, no, dummy. Put the instructions. And then what if he never puts the instructions? Then we're in trouble.

We're done. Then we're done. Then there's still one holy Catholic church. Yeah. So maybe it would have been good. You'd be happy. Yeah. Do you think podcasting is the printing press of spoken word in a way? I mean, probably not, but... I mean...

What we're doing is changing. I'm not talking about our podcast specifically, but I'm saying there's a revolution of spoken word in the last 10 years or so from podcasting in the same way that there is. I think there's, I think media is changing with as far as like your idea of yes,

The same way the media is changing where now people are listening to stuff online. No one's watching mainstream news as much anymore. All the channels are really being affected by that. There's all these different... You can find independent... A lot of people that worked at these big things, a lot of people from New York Times, all this stuff, then go do more independent stuff.

because they can straight get to your to you with their like if you're like i like this guy but i don't need him to have some guy tell me can't say what he's going to say and so yeah there's ways for them to get information i think it's expanding everybody's what everybody thinks about stuff which is what this would have done it broke up all the just like hey we here's this one thing this is the only thought into now i mean look at all the religions that broke off of it yeah and all this new stuff that started

And so I think that there's that. So yeah, kind of, I guess. Is that what you mean? That's fair. I feel like, no, is that not? That is what I meant. That's what I'm talking about. I feel like Will Ferrell after an old school when he says all the answers and I'm like, man, I don't know. What happened? I blacked out. Yeah. No, we were talking about the same. I mean, the radio, I would think maybe. Well, 20 years ago, you can't listen to on demand somebody talk for something about three hours about something. Yeah. And now you can because of it. Yep.

Wait, was I not right? That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you're saying the same thing. Exactly. I broke it down. You asked a question, I answered it. And now you're acting like I said the wrong answer. No, I'm not. Brian just still looks skeptical. So I'm just trying to... He doesn't know what a podcast is. I thought we were on the radio. 55 degrees, partly cloudy. 219.

Go ahead, Brian. I've never seen this podcast because they said I didn't get that channel. Telephone. Telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell. It allowed us to communicate all over the world. It was called the electrical speech machine when it was first invented. When Bell died in 1922, U.S. telephone services stopped for a minute to honor him.

I feel sorry for that guy. I was on an important business call. I know. I'll call you right back. How did they stop it for a minute? It was just everybody. I guess they just cut off your service or something. Yeah. I guess it's a big trust. Oh, I guess, yeah, like, because back then, yeah, and then so they just, you'd have to call and like, hello, I'd like to talk to Aaron. And then she goes,

Sarah? Yeah. That's Andy Griffith? Yeah, yeah. Sarah, can I get... Aunt Bea. Think how crazy that must have been, though, to be able to communicate and hear someone's voice from far away. I mean, it's like seeing FaceTime for the first time. But seeing that, is that not... Were you not blown away? I was. I remember I was blown away for a while. It's funny how quickly you get...

unimpressed with yeah but you got to remember it's just like that it's that exact same thing you're seeing someone's face it's crazy yeah and they're talking and they and it's not a delay and it's you know my daughter's facetiming with her cousin my this harper meyer both just playing a video game as they facetime each other in two different places that's pretty wild it is crazy but how quickly before you're no longer even thinking about how crazy it is

Yeah, I try to remind myself a lot. You try to appreciate it as it's happening. I'm the greatest average American. I always try to remember. You try to remember, they go, yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy. I'm saying I do it every time, but every now and again you got to go, yeah. I mean, I don't know if I've talked about it on this, but TiVo was, I mean, I couldn't wrap my head around it. I just couldn't understand it.

I didn't. What do you mean? Where is this going? How are you? You can pause a live television show? How? None of that made sense. It did not make sense. I can record it. I don't have to wait. I mean, now you're not watching anything live. That's crazy. You're just fast forwarding all these commercials. It's nuts. It's nuts. Yeah.

I'll do a couple more here. The light bulb, Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, which basically led to electricity, which changed everything because before then, people would go to bed as soon as it got dark, and they would have different sleep patterns because they couldn't sleep for that long. But once the light bulb invented, people started going to bed and sleeping seven to eight hours a night. So we used to get 12 hours. You almost get 12 hours of sleep. Mm-hmm.

Or people were getting up during the night, they said. Oh. Yeah. So you could argue that was a bad invention. People are getting less sleep. I don't know if you could argue it. But I don't think someone's going to go, okay, I'm here. He just said they used to get 12 hours of sleep, and now they're only getting seven or eight. That's on a good night. You don't think you need 12. Yeah. I mean, imagine what you could do if you did have it. Yeah. I mean, I think you know what you do. Don't you sleep 12 hours?

I mean, this is what's being brought to the table after 12 hours of sleep. I think we can see it. Zoned out. Yeah. It's like where you're talking about, oh, when I ate good food, I felt better. It's like, dude, get 12 hours of sleep every night for a month and see how good you feel. I mean, you're a comedian.

I think what's stopping you from getting 12 hours of sleep? I'm not going to say I haven't slept for 12 hours. I'm just saying, but imagine if that were the norm. Didn't you sleep 36 hours or something? I slept for 24 hours once in college, yeah. Yeah. But I don't do that every day. Then I'd just be asleep all the time. Yeah. Yeah, anyway. I don't know. The internal combustion engine led to the invention of cars and airplanes, which obviously changed the world in the 20th century.

Made the world much smaller now that people could travel. You can travel anywhere in the world now, basically, in a day. Yeah. And by boat, as we talked about maybe last week, it would take months to travel from Europe to America. Yeah, you wouldn't. I mean, it would be a thing. It would be a whole thing to go. You just wouldn't go. You'd have so many people that are not going to go because they're like, I'm just not. Yeah. You know. Take a month. A month. Yeah. Vaccinations, basically.

Changed everything when they figured out that ways to start vaccinating people for certain diseases made the life expectancy go way up, especially when they vetted penicillin, which took care of a lot of infections. You think people listening to this podcast are like... I feel like I just had a moment where they're like, how dumb is this podcast? This is all stuff they're like, what is this for? Children? Children?

Like, if someone just locked in right now and they go, vaccinations was a big deal when they made that, and they're like, what? Of course. Like, it's... You know, the sun is the reason that it gets hot during the day. I can read more, but I'm trying to keep it on your level. I know. I'm just saying. But that's, like, it's just... To me, I'm like, yeah, I like hearing all this stuff, but, I mean, there's got to be...

Just a lot of people that are just like, what is happening? When the light bulb was invented, people would not go to bed until 8 p.m. I'm starting to get on board with half the comments. Mag? Yeah, Mag's like, yeah, Mag, we are. If the light bulb was invented, this podcast would be shorter. Spoken word was the greatest invention of our time, according to Aaron.

Contraceptives. I mean, I think that's not ridiculous to think. What? Speaking? That written word is our greatest invention, our greatest contribution. I thought it was air conditioning. What's that? I thought it was air conditioning. I mean... Would you go air conditioning and then spoken word? And then toll it? Or would you even have toll it up there? Yeah, it's air conditioning, language is second, and then toilet's probably fourth or fifth down there. Yeah. Oh, you wouldn't even have it.

You're not even, you don't care. Go in the woods. It just doesn't mean anything. It's not a big deal. Do you have a toilet? I do have a toilet. I have indoor plumbing. I like using it. Yeah. You know, but I can live either way. I can live without it. Yeah.

I wouldn't like to, but I could. You couldn't live without air conditioning. No. You only need for two months. We live in a part of the country that was, you could not live here during the summer before air conditioning. It was miserable. People did, but there weren't industries down here. There weren't factories because of that, because it was miserable then.

We should all do a challenge and each like you've got to go a month without toilet. Without air conditioning. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm the hardest one by far. Well, there's our point. Yeah. There's the point. Well, that's the point made. Let's do it. The toilet challenge. Well, it's winter right now, so you can go without AC for a little bit.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Let's wait until July and we'll do this. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see. Yeah, don't have a toilet in July and then you got to go outside. Like, you know, I mean, just you walk back in the house like a mess. Just a wild mess. When do you get married? I get married at the end of May. Yeah, yeah. Let's do it in May. That would be the end of that. Just to come in and where have you been? You've been gone for like four hours. Like, oh, God.

And I'd hike over four highways before I felt comfortable. Then we'll do the Krispy Kreme challenge. Yeah. Oh, man. You might want to, to plug you up a little bit. You might have been convinced about the toilet. That might be... I'm just thinking about it. It might be more important. You jump in the pool.

Jump in the water. Instead of a toilet? No, I'm just saying like... Oh, instead of AC to keep going. Well, instead of AC, your pools are... Yeah, water is going to be... I think that's where people went. Does Planet Fitness have a pool? I haven't been in there. I don't know. I don't know what's going on in there, man.

Contraceptives drastically reduce the average number of children born throughout countries. Baby killer baits is back at it again. Here we go. Baby genocide. With fewer mouse defeats, modern families have achieved higher standards of living and can provide better for each child. On a global scale, it's leveled off the population in overpopulated countries. I know the Catholic Church is against that as well, right? What, birth control? Yeah.

He's natural family planning. Yeah. Okay. So no. The internet. The internet was invented in the 1960s, believe it or not.

Al Gore? No, by computer scientist Lawrence Roberts. Why did Al Gore say he invented the internet? Wasn't he responsible for bringing it to the forefront, kind of? Yeah. I don't know. Like, you think he ever goes, I never said I actually invented it. He's like, said something else, and we're like, nah, you know what you mean. He may have, yeah. Like one of those where you're like, nah, you know what you mean, right? You said you invented it, and he's like, I had a lot to do with it, you know? Yeah.

I don't think I should be glossed over. Look, I was in the room. I was in the room. I sold it. I sold it to everybody. All right, let's move to some darn art. The internet I don't get. How it works? Just how it works. Yeah. Do you get it? Like where...

Where is all this stuff at? Not really, man. I don't really understand how it works. I think it's not a simple idea. Yeah. I mean, internet is interconnected. All the computers are connected to each other. Do you think there's some stuff that there's people that are like, yeah, we just don't know how that. They're like, we stumbled upon it. Some reason it works. Penicillin. That's right, yeah.

Penicillin is like that? Yeah. Let me go back to that. I thought that's what you were calling it, the dumbest show ever. So I moved on. Yeah. But yeah, penicillin, I can't find it now. But basically, he left out something and it started molding and he realized that it killed the bacteria in it. Yeah. It worked as an antibacterial. Yeah.

And so they don't know why. They're just kind of like, yeah. Well, they may know why now, but he wasn't even trying to do that. He was just trying to do other stuff and he left his lunch out. The internet's got to be the most complicated invention we have. Like that's the toughest. That's like insane. Cause now you're connected to everybody. You can FaceTime someone in, you know, Australia right now. You can FaceTime them. Yeah. They're hearing this, they're watching it. Like it's crazy. Like it doesn't make sense.

I have no idea how it works. It's like gravity. Nobody really knows what gravity is. Yeah. Or exists. It is proven that it exists, right? Didn't they just recently...

The Higgs bussing thing? They did something where they detected gravitational waves for the first time. Fairly, we can, all right, we'll move on. Yeah. So the internet in the 1960s, a team. That's fine. Someone's listening now. They're going, I mean, they're finally, we'll talk about something smart. They're like, all right, we're sorry about everybody. And then we get back to just. Planes make us go faster. Planes can get above clouds. And go, whoa. Whoa.

They can. Wow. How the hot air balloon was shot. Gravity was solved. You're about to explain gravity to people. The guy's like, I'd love to hear his take on what gravity is. The pencil. The pencil was almost not invented because the guy poked himself with it. There's going to be a lot of comments this week saying Meg was right. I apologize. Yeah.

All right. Stuff in our lifetime. Caller ID. Guy in Huntsville, Alabama invented the first caller ID. Really? Yeah. That's pretty good. I remember it coming along. Caller ID. Like, yeah. You remember it? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was- It goes ring. Yeah. I don't remember life without it. Would you always speak into the box on the wall? Yeah.

When you answered the phone? Did you ever, did you go, hello? And then you covered it. Mom! I never had a rotary phone or anything. I was about to ask you if you did. Yeah, we did. We had a rotary. But I remember CallRD coming and it was kind of crazy. But I still think that's a thing. Like, you're going to end up creating stuff that gets too, you know, people talk about like the family a lot and families and...

There's a lot of stuff that's getting taken away now that's separating everybody that I don't think is good. I think calling a house and you had to ask who you wanted to talk to is kind of like a – that's a big thing that kind of keeps a family very connected. It's a very simple, dumb thing, but everybody's separated now. You've got your own phone, so your wife and your – no one's ever calling, speaking to both of us. Uh-huh.

You know, Harper eventually will get a phone one day. Now all of her people are not... They would be like, I've never spoken to your dad. I don't know who your parents are. Are both your parents there? Like, that kind of stuff is like... Yeah, it's a weirdly... Little things that are like... That kind of keeps...

That's kind of ruining stuff. But it's great. Not saying you don't want to give it away, but caller ID. I mean, not knowing who it is, just hello? Who is this? Weber Resonance. May I ask who's calling? Yeah. That's what y'all would say? Y'all would say that. Seinfeld had that funny joke. I mean, y'all didn't go, hello? Hello. My family's hello. And you're like, hmm. They used to kid just answer, he goes, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Talking. Yeah. I mean, you just, yeah. I don't know if we said that, but we had something where y'all had to see, you know. Yeah. Seinfeld has that funny joke. Did your butler do it? Did you? Did he? Parents are teachers, dude. Oh, that's right. There's a Netflix documentary on it. Yeah. That's right. It's a good thing. Hello, Weber residents. Yes, I would like to speak to your father.

Oh, yes. Papa. Papa. He's debating someone right now. May I ask who is speaking? Just an adjunct professor. I was driving through town and I would love to come speak and debate things about gravity and...

And all the words that, what are the other words you say? The flip sides of things. I would like to talk about. Germaine. Yeah, Germaine. I would like to not be Germaine on your time. And then they go, oh, no. You're looking at your Gregorian calendar. That's not what Germaine means at all. What day would you want to come over?

Let me look at my Gregorian. What calendar, sir, may I ask you? We'd like to have you over. What calendar are you using? And I'll give you the appropriate date. I'm an Eastland calendar man. Oh, wow. Okay. Come over on the Sue's day. It's a new name of a day. Soul.

That's fair. Alright, that's fair. The DVD. 1996. Now we're getting into your lifetime. That's right. You remember that? I do remember that. Or do you remember VHS tapes?

I remember getting VHS from Blockbuster. Yeah. And then eventually we got a DVD player. See, I mean, like, I know it's like little things. And so maybe I'm not wrapping my head around it. But going to Blockbuster and having to like look for a movie, you'd be in there for two hours. Like just going through and being like, that was fun. That was like great. Like that kind of stuff is...

That was like your friends, you and your buddies would, you know, when you're first driving, you're like 16, you go up there and y'all go try to rent a movie and you're up there for two hours. And I mean, there's girls up there. There's, you know, like, and that was like, that was all that stuff is, I think, built into character as an adult. And like that stuff is getting taken away. To me now, it's all just you're alone and you're, you know, it's just talking on the internet right there. You don't need anything like that kind of stuff is.

Yeah. I agree with that. Yeah. Yeah, make it a good point now, huh? After the first thing I say, you attack. Finally making some sense. Bombs are hitting a little bit closer to home, you know what I mean? Bluetooth. Oh. Been in 1999, but didn't get big until 2000. It was named after 10th century Denmark king, Harald Bluetooth Gorsman. And then it goes Bluetooth, because it's a stupid name. Yeah, you'll see. One day. He is.

Everybody's always saying it. Who would say Bluetooth? You looking him up? So he invented Bluetooth? No, just... They just named it after him. This is... Oh, there he is. This is the... Harold Bluetooth. He was... What was he? He was a king? Yeah, of Denmark. Harold. He had a king named Harold.

Does that feel very King name? Pope Gregory. Pope Gregory. Yeah. You think you're going to go over there and be like, would you like to meet a Pope and a King? You're like, oh, I would. Who is it? Pope Gregory and King Harold. You're like, I don't know, man. But he comes by Bluetooth. Yeah. No, it's King Harold Bluetooth and Pope Greg. I don't know, dude. I'm so, you know what? I don't know if I'm going to make it. I'm just kind of slammed right now. It's just stuff.

They're probably not going to both be there that long anyway. This week's the 20 year anniversary of Wikipedia.

It's always right. People all over the internet can put stuff on there, so you know it's right. Michael Scott. Most of the stuff I get for this is from Wikipedia. You miss every shot. Wayne Gretzky. Yeah, you miss every shot. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Wayne Gretzky, Michael Scott. Facebook came out in 2004. Wikipedia is... Is that the WikiLeaks in Wikipedia? Yeah.

That's together? No, I think wiki is just a computer term that may be for information. Oh, I always thought they had something to do with each other. Every time something is wiki something, it's like where users can contribute to it, and it's like a database that's curated and run by users. Oh, so that's what wiki means. That's what I think it means. Yeah. If only I had a device to look it up.

Well, if you go to Wikipedia, it's going to definitely tell you whatever you want it to tell you. I'd look up the Wikipedia. And they...

Yeah, a website that allows collaborative editing of its content. So it's like Wiki. It's like, you know, there's like the Office Wiki. I was just in WikiLeaks and Wikipedia. If you had a gun to my head, said who invented Wikipedia, would have said Julian Assange. Would have just said Julian Assange, I think, did it. He had a big part in it. There's actually another guy in Huntsville. Huntsville's killing it. Nass is there. Yeah. And my wife.

Facebook, 28% of the world now is on Facebook. She left me. She's going to move back to Huntsville. A lot of people don't know that. Yeah. The first iPhone came out in 2007. Steve Jobs made a prank call order of 4,000 lattes to a nearby Starbucks. That was the first call? Yeah. I remember that. I watched that live.

Really? That keynote. Yeah. He called... Oh, he was doing a keynote and then... He showed... It was the first time I remember being amazed by a piece of technology. When he scrolled on the iPhone for the first time, just on the screen, I remember gasping. Not air conditioning? I was watching it with my sister. I grew up with air conditioning. You probably remember getting it, but I grew up with it. So when you saw that, you go...

I did. You gasped. I mean, it was unlike anything you'd ever seen. This guy's touching a screen and flipping it up. I'm like gasping like you've seen it. I mean, like you're watching. What, just nothing impresses you? You just go. I don't know if I'm going to be sitting. You're watching on a television at home. You're not watching Houdini in a town square in the 1800s. You tell me as a 10-year-old Aaron Webber in your living room, you go, oh, man.

He just, he scrolled on the screen and then, and your family came running in. If you watch the, you can watch the video of that. The crowd gasps as, as it happened. I mean, maybe in the room and like, I get, but you're saying in the living, in your living room on your television. How old were you? When did this happen? 2007. 16? Yeah. When they, 15, 16. Yeah. Yeah.

What's the matter? What's the matter with you gasping? Another grown man on TV scrolling? I'm not saying I'm not wowed by things, but I don't know if I'm gasping. I don't know if I've gasped at anything. You've never gasped? I don't think so. I mean, it wasn't like, I wasn't embarrassed. What was that? I was like, oh, wow. Mama. Mama.

You said they ain't going to do it, but they did it, mama. He's swiping on the screen. Did you start swiping on your TV and just go, is it going to move? That's how you change the channel on your TV. You just started like rubbing on the screen. Papa, get in here. What did you used to think the TVs were? Did you...

Are they in the box? Is that mystical man? Is this when you learned that they didn't live in the box? I thought that they were dying. They were really dying in the shows. Yeah, we've covered that. Yeah, that's a callback as well. I know we covered that. That's what I was trying to do, a callback. All right, you usually don't remember that stuff. That's why I asked, because I was trying to keep making fun of it. Okay. I wasn't bringing it back up to go, let's get into that again. You really shut it off going, yeah, we've already covered that.

You just usually never remember anything we talk about on the show. When were vaccines invented again? Let's go through that again. What's aspirin do? Makes your headache go away. The cotton in the aspirin they put in was... Cotton gin. Another important invention. Oh, cotton gin. 300,000 patents are issued in the U.S. each year, which is just over... Only 50% are approved. So over 299,000. Yeah.

Just a little bit over. Here's some current inventions that have recently come out. The Peo Fit. This was invented in Japan. It's to exercise your face muscles. There it is right there. Yeah. Facial fitness. Like a Shea weight. Oh, that's stupid.

Well, I mean, like we're getting it. So you put this thing in your mouth and you shake it or it shakes and it helps your face. Yeah. It tightens your, your, we are, I mean, that's a group of people that they took that. I'll bet they took the picture before they did this training. Super easy. Uh,

Yeah, so it's, I mean, people that are listening at home, you put a thing in your mouth and it stretches out like wings and you shake your head up and down and it's like a shake weight that kind of does that. It's like a shake weight for your mouth. Yeah, basically. There's no, I mean, you know, there's stuff like we're getting too, it's getting too complicated. We're almost trying to make everything too perfect.

And that's like messing everything up. Everything's too perfect. There's nothing, nothing to be flawed anymore. You can't, if you say something wrong, everybody attacks the one word you say wrong. Like, why'd you say that word wrong? Like it's 94%. Look at that pie graph. 94% approved of it. Yeah. But that's what he said. Yeah. We shouldn't care about these muscles on your face. It's like, come on, dude. Well,

Well, you're now getting to just... Instead of going like, hey, you know what? I would almost... I'd be happier with this commercial going, you know what? I can't even believe that the world is so good that now we can start working on these muscles in our face. Yeah. Because we have so much stuff for the other day. Like to do that instead of being like, hey, you tired of your face being stupid? And then they go, no, I guess maybe. And then that's how like women with like Botox and that kind of stuff, they get in this...

You know, because they think, ah, I got to do it. And every time you go, they're like, you see that? And they point it out that you go, yeah, that is, I do want you to get that fixed. And then you just start getting fixed and it gets worse and worse. Yeah. That's why you see women that look insane. And even men, men that go do it. It's crazy. Yeah. You got to just ride out. What's funny is women don't know that there's something to do. You're more attracted to just normal, natural is like way, is way prettier.

I was like my wife with no makeup. Yeah. Anytime I would say, she looks the best to me, it's just when she and she always says, well, I look terrible. Yeah. You know? Because I'm a caveman. Let's talk about some failed inventions on that line. The Read-O-Matic was invented, the robot Read-O-Matic invented in 1963 was meant to help slow readers improve their pace by revealing one line of text at a time.

Mechanical plate would slide down the page. I think that, I probably didn't send that one to you. Mechanical plate would slide down the page, letting you know where to read in order to make a certain pace. Problem was the device was too loud and the metal plate would scrape against the page like a chalk on a chalkboard. So what, I don't know, what's the point of this? That's not it. It's to help people who are slow readers who do one line at a time and then it would just move down a metal plate. So it's trying to speed you up. Yeah, help you read better. Yeah.

I could use that. I read slow. I read, I mean, yeah, I, I try to read, I've been trying to read faster where I just kind of, you just kind of breeze down the page and just gather the idea. I, I, cause I think there's a lot of talking now. You read an article and they start the article off with just like, what are you doing? You know, it's like, well, this day in your, I mean, you, you, you can skip the first four paragraphs are just nothing.

And then it's like, here's the thing I wanted to go. But sometimes I do that and then I'm like, I bet that top part was important. And then I have to go back. You hear that Brian Regan bit where he's, I just got a speed reading. I read like 48,000 words a minute. Yeah. But my comprehension plummeted. Yeah. I try. Yeah. I mean, I'll like, you ever just sit and you go, all right, what are you watching something? You're like, I want to hear what that person said. Now you have to,

And I'll, like, back it up, and I'm like, all right, what is he saying? And then you try to, but then your brain just kind of goes in another place, and then you got to do it again. Mm-hmm. You know? And you can't because of TiVo. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Don't know how it's working, but. You need a Rit-O-Matic, man. Rit-O-Matic doesn't, so it's just training you. Yeah, I saw there was one on eBay for, like, $40. Yeah. It came out in the 60s, but it's just, like, a metal bar that came down and helped you, like, move one line at a time. Mm-hmm.

I think it's the panic of just knowing that it's about to go. Yeah, like if you're not there yet. I mean, is paper going to just be gone, though? Isn't paper going to be gone soon? They're printing a lot less paper now. Everything's digital. Printing press thing is to be this giant thing, and now it's just going to be... It's not very impressive now, is it? Now it's not like, hey, I've been in a printing press. Honestly, kill a lot of trees. Yeah.

The phone answering robot. This was a failed experiment. The 1964 phone answering robot.

Didn't work very well. It could pick up the phone and put the phone back down, but it couldn't answer the phone or even, well, you'll leave a message. There's a photo of it. Oh. So why would you want this? I think maybe it would just hand it to you. You go, hello. So the whole, like you, the phone's picked up and then you're just kind of, you're going, hello. No, I'm going to, hold on. He's about to, he's going to give it to me in a second. Hold on. He's,

He's just a little slow. Hold on. Hey, sorry, but I didn't. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. He's taking it back. No, come here. Get it back. No, no. You just have to talk to this robot. There's no reason for it. There had to be a guy that was like, yeah, this is like, you know what I mean? Like he's just in his head. Like this is what we. Why does it have to look like a person?

Well, back then they thought that's what robots... Because the person made it, I would imagine. It could just be an arm, though, if that's all it's doing, right? He thought it was going to be cool, but it kind of backfired. So, oh, so basically his idea is you're sitting on the couch, phone rings, you're like, ah, I got to get up, and then it's like, and then the robot walks over and gets it and then brings you the phone. No, he didn't even do that. It just stood by the phone. But that was probably the idea. Maybe, yeah. That was maybe the idea. And then someone goes, what about a longer cord? He's like, dude...

I already started. Dude, I'm sorry. Dude, just do the robot. Don't be ridiculous. You have cords laying everywhere. We have a 400-pound robot walking around your house. Just answer the phone. And then that's how I didn't get anywhere because the guy didn't commit. Yeah. His partner said, what about long cords? And kind of blew his whole world up. What about two phones? How much does a robot cost? $80,000? Yeah, a lot. Just the Vanderbilt to have it?

And the robot hands the phone to their butler, who then hands in the phone. And then they're going, oh, it's kind of fun, right? You're like, yeah. Yeah. The exact same time the Catmew machine came along. This has been in Japan. It was a Japanese machine that meowed 10 times per minute to scare away rats and mice. And the eyes lit up. But it did not work. And rats and mice actually increased. There are rats and mice. I think they just figure it out. Yeah. You know, once it's on, like...

they get it. And then they're like, yeah, like a scarecrow. I think people see through these, these crows see through the scarecrows. They're usually on them. We just put out a fake owl to try to scare away, um, uh, squirrels from our house and deck and stuff.

Doesn't work. Yeah. Getting too smart. Yep. Squirrels might already have a printing press invented. You think these other animals started inventing stuff? Where are they at? You know, you think squirrels have invented stuff? They can fall from wherever. Has an animal invented anything? That might be a ridiculous question. Yeah. But are like apes using... This is where they're going to put clips from this episode.

As a strong debate of why this is, the internet should be shut down. It's just going to be here. Vaccines helped save lives, obviously, right? Now watch this part. Did animals invent anything ever? And then they go, see? See what's happening here? That guy went to Notre Dame.

And then it's back to me just reading. I mean, I'm just sitting here just like, I cannot express. Okay, you answered. So apes will use stone tools. We have no idea. They invented animals, invented something? Well, they didn't. They know how to. Some apes, some chimps know how to use stone tools to break up.

food and stuff. Okay. Type it into the magic machine. Did an animal invent anything? I don't like the way I framed that question. I need to back up a little. I don't know how else you would say it. Were any inventions made by animals?

By mammals? You would rather say mammals. Mammals sounds better. Yeah. That sounds... Because we're mammals. Were mammals invented anything? Well, they've invented a lot of things. We're mammals, you idiot. You're like... You know what I mean? Like, not us. Animals? This article says, did animals invent music? I'll have to give that a read. Or even... Yeah, did early humans...

I'll get that read later. You ever see an article that tells you how long the read is? Like a five minute read. I appreciate when they do that though. Yeah. You know, let you know. Let you, I get, I get out. It's a lot of pressure. Do you find it accurate? I don't know. I usually don't. If you're, if you're telling me you're being pretty presumptuous, if you think five minute read. Oh yeah. Once a one second click away. Ow. Um,

The sewing machine bicycle. Oh, wow. In 1939, an inventor in Chicago created a bicycle for a family of four. All they could ride together. And the mom could even keep sewing. Dude, that's so funny. That's, I mean, yeah. I mean, the idea. Look how happy they are. Where we're at now with women's rights.

And just to be tired of wanting to go ride a bike with your family, but your wife stops working. Why come up with an idea? You know what I mean? And then the guys are like, that's unbelievable, dude. So she can keep sewing and do her woman stuff while you guys have fun. You're exactly like, what about a kitchen? You're like, right? Right? You know what I mean? We're going to put a kitchen on there. That's so great, man.

And then she's like, yeah, this is what I love. Oh, man. Poor lady. That's hilarious. Yeah. It did not take off. All right. Did they just think to, you know... They're just trying to get famous for something. Yeah. A lot of stuff didn't work out. Yeah. It was 1939. Yeah. I don't think I sent you this one, but the baby cage...

So in 1884, there are photos of this. Dr. Luther Emmett Holt said in a book that babies need to be aired. Yeah.

The thinking was that part of the process to toughen up babies and make them better able to withstand common colds was expose them to cold temperatures outside or through cold water bathing, which would grant them a certain immunity. So people who lived in big cities like New York and London started, didn't have yards, started putting their babies in these cages that hung outside the window.

Yeah, I've seen pictures of this just randomly. This is a real thing. It happened for a while. Eleanor Roosevelt did this. To his kids? Or they had it done to him? Well, she put her baby...

I didn't even listen to that first name. I wasn't even. One of the most famous women ever. I wasn't even paying attention to that first name. She did it to her baby before she was First Lady of the United States. When she lived in New York. A lot of people did this. It was very popular. She wasn't that smart. You're right.

So what was wrong with it? The baby?

They were like 30 stories high and putting their baby out outside the window. I mean, I understand. So I don't see what's the problem. I don't understand. I understand how it could go wrong. Did these fall and people die? People complained about it. And then when World War II started in London, there was a war going on there. They started bringing their babies in from outside. Yeah, if there's a war going on, maybe bring them inside. You know with the bombs dropping and stuff, it's just...

This is a lot. In New York, it said because of the rise of urban automobile traffic, smog started. It's kind of hard on the babies. Yeah. But if you live in a nice, clean, suburban neighborhood. Put your baby in a cage out the window. We would let, we'd put Harper in the front yard, let her sleep, and then just figured she should be able to survive amongst the other animals. And that's how we raised her.

We were not animals, so we didn't do it in a cage. Obviously, we let her roam. We believe in free-range stuff, so we would toss her in the front yard and just every morning go, is she still here? Yeah. Yeah. Did you see some guy writing an article about that, though?

That's what it is. Then it's people reading. Oh, wow. That's what you should be doing. You're like, oh, that's what you should be doing. That makes sense. The idea of it, you see it, and then you end up having... It gets out of control. They want to talk about... People are putting babies in cages out their window. I don't know if a cage broke. It's like an air conditioner...

I mean, it's probably not going to fall, but it could. I'll tell you what, I would have to have somebody come in and professionally install that. Yeah. Because I would not trust my ability to set that thing up properly. I mean, can you imagine just walking down New York and you just see, just, man, like babies crying and you're like... I mean, I saw a picture of one crawling in the cage. Oh, really? Yeah. With just pigeons on top of the cages. I didn't think about that. Like that one right there, the bold and beautiful baby. I mean, that's...

Or that 1930s outdoor baby one right there. Yeah, this one is just hanging loose. You know, like, this was in New York. I mean, you think, you know, if you went to Ohio during this time, they're like, they're doing what? Like, that's how... Like, that's why I would want to travel to New York to go do these babies in cages at the window. And I'd be like, well, I have to go. I have to go see this. And then that's why I would probably have missed the Statue of Liberty. Yeah. Because I would have been just...

Looking at all the people hanging babies in the cages, just walking down. Did you see the Empire State Building? You're like, I don't know. It's hard to get past the babies hanging in cages. It's tough. It's like Planet of the Apes stuff. I remember when Michael Jackson put his baby out a window for a few seconds. Blanket? Yeah. And people freaked out. The baby is named Blanket. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, that was...

I would rather that baby been in a cage than the way he dangled that baby out. Yeah. I mean, that was, yeah, he kind of just brought like, huh, what do you guys want? You're like, he doesn't want, we don't want that. We definitely don't want that. And by that, I mean, name the kid Blanket. That's the real tragedy. Actually, the Blanket name is. Yeah. Yeah.

Pretty crazy. Yeah, why did he do that? He was trying to be funny. Showing him to the paparazzi? Yeah, it was paparazzi just trying to be funny. Yeah. Yeah. Talk about all-time bomb of a joke. I mean, we're still talking about it. This was years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's so... You know he doesn't know. Celebrities holding babies, I love it. Did I talk about that on this? I might have said it on stage. If you ever just... That's the funniest thing to me is watch...

Especially seeing it now on Instagram because you see people at home. You can really tell when someone's a real mom or dad versus not. And you see them hold a baby. And I've seen a picture of The Rock holding his kid. He's got the baby on his hip. It's clearly like he doesn't know how to hold this baby. It's too light. Yeah, you see...

I mean, the Gretzky's, like, they're Dustin Johnson and his wife, or girlfriend, fiance, whatever, Paulina Gretzky. I'm after a U.S. Open.

You just saw him walk up with the baby with both of them. You're like, someone grab those. You're like, just someone get those babies. Like they do not, you know, it's just like, oh yeah. Like it's, you know, it's like handing, if I handed you a baby. Yeah. Right now you'd be like, oh, thank you. Because they have nannies and they don't even know how to do it.

Yes, because I think they have nannies and they're just not, you know, they're not, it's not real. They're not doing real family stuff, which is, you know. Yeah. You know, like, so it's like they're not having to be real parents. I mean, you can afford, I mean, you probably have multiple nannies and you just have, you know, they're, I mean, they have, New York City would be, you'd see all kinds of nannies walking kids. I mean, they take their, they basically put, some of them will put the kid to bed. They get their, they're their full-time nanny, which is, I get, like, if you're busy, like, I get it, you know.

Yeah. But it's very funny to see them in action. In 1896, the first person was hit and killed by a car. And so then the car makers started trying to come up with ways to prevent pedestrian accidents. So a couple of car companies came up with the Car Walker Catcher.

and it was a pedestrian safety device. I think I sent these to you, right? It was first introduced to the public in Germany. They had two different types that put a net on the front of the car, and if someone's walking, it was supposed to catch them.

And that... It's basically a huge ham. They eventually just gave up on this because people are dying. I mean, just gigantic numbers. Yeah. Like, they're not getting hit by cars, but they're, you know... And what ended up happening was this thing would block the driver's sight, so they couldn't even see where they were going. So it... There's an example. This is going to be really funny, but...

So it kind of, yeah, if you just get hit by the car, it just kind of scoops you up. It's got a net. Yeah. It basically scoops you up. I mean, that's awesome. It's not that bad. I mean, they have, you know, you see now there's a lot more. They're filming. I feel like Russia does it. What? Their front of their cars have the video. Because they always catch like so much crazy stuff on it.

So that's, you know, it's like, it's not helping, but it's, it's like stopping a lot of, or these fake crimes or something, or. This one, it's a device that it's not on there all the time. This is 10 years later. You push a button, almost like an airbag that when you see someone walking down the streets, too bad this isn't playing, but it's push a button and it pops out like an airbag. If you see someone walking. But you got to push the button. The driver, like right there. Boom. Boom.

Yeah. Oh, okay. So he's fine. Wow. He's fine. Now this is these cars. This is probably where these cars could go 18 miles an hour. Yeah. And does, uh, do you think you got to help the guy fold that back down? You know, like, cause it pops open like an air. I mean, if an airbag comes out, it's like a whole thing. So you think you didn't got to go, you just keep going and you're like, Hey man,

I saved your life. You think you could, I think it's a courtesy courtesy folder back under help me get this back up on the car. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's the nice thing to do. You got it. He goes, I got it. And then it's two feet and then he has to do it again. And then you're like, I'm gonna just leave it open. Cause it's like, I mean, I'm just railing people because no one knows how to, no one knows how to look for this stuff. Yeah. I mean, you know, people are just walking out of the street that happens in New York where people get hit, uh,

Because you just don't think about it. You don't think about, or I think when I drive here, when you're driving, you don't think to look for a pedestrian. I mean, you don't, you know, you're not like, oh, people are walking. Like, so you're, you know, you make a turn, you're like, thank God no one was walking, dude. I wasn't looking at all. I mean, I wasn't crazy. Yeah. But now we have so much technology in these cars. Yeah.

I think it's going to be, you know. We'll sense it. Airbags. Yeah, they can tell. Hey, there's a guy up here. Yeah. And then, you know, you just hear beeps or they stop. You know, all that kind of stuff. Yeah. I think it's going to be crazy when everybody has self-driving cars. It's just going to be crazy to think we did this on our own at one point. Will you gasp at it? Will you be driving down the road going, Oh, God.

Honestly, I might, man. I might do it. That would blow me away. Yeah. To have a self-driving car. We will make fun of ourselves. Like, can you believe we used to do this ourself? Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. It's so crazy dangerous. Yeah. To drive. Yeah. We're all doing pretty good. I mean, we're doing all right. Yeah. But... We're doing really good.

You say dangerous, it's like we're coal mining. You just said, I'm so glad I was a pedestrian there. You just talked about it. I know, but do I hit them? No. We're doing great. Everybody's doing relatively, everybody's doing really good. We're not having this giant problem with this.

Like, y'all are talking like we got to get rid of us driving. No, I'm just saying, years from now, we'll look back and be like, can you believe that we used to let people just drive their own car? Yeah. I mean, automobile accidents is still one of the leading causes of death every year. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. Do you want to walk that back a little bit? No, no. I don't think it's... I think we're doing great. I mean, overall, I do get that it's a dangerous thing, but I don't think we're sitting here going...

We got to put a stop to this. You're right. You know, heart disease is the number one. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. It's not the worst, but... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I could have heard...

Oh, just to... Go watch that video, dude. And listen to those people gasp. If I was sitting there with your dad, I'd say, what's wrong with your boy? Like, what's he going to do? Go to college and stuff? He's probably going to be in school. Yeah. You would be that. You're not going to be... They're going to be like, did your boy go do manual labor? You're like, he gasped at us. No, what do you think? Are you crazy? He's gasping at the TV.

He's rolling his finger up and down it. He thinks he doesn't. What do you think? Dude, this was revolutionary, dude. I get that it's revolutionary. I'm just, you know, sitting at home in Alabama. I don't. A young teenage Aaron Weber. Mother! Mother, father, come here! Where were we at when you saw it?

I was watching it on my computer. At home? At home, yeah, with my sister. I remember we watched it. We did call. We were like, Mom, Dad, you got to see this. This thing's unbelievable. And it was like two years before I saw one in the wild after that because nobody had them. Yeah. Before you actually – and you just see people and you walk up. Is that the new – I agree that the invention's nuts. It's nuts to be touching with your finger and it moves. Yeah. Yeah, I think all that stuff's crazy. I –

TiVo, for me, was my thing. I don't think I gasped, but I went a long time and I just didn't understand. I didn't understand how people, I would like talk to the person like they invented it. Do you remember when you first heard about it? Did you saw somebody had it at their house? Yeah, I remember hearing about it and I just was like, I don't know. I go, what? I just couldn't even, I didn't understand what, like, what do you mean that's going to happen? What do you mean they're going, your TV's going to stop? Where is it stopping to you?

Where is it you rewind? Can you ever, is it just, you pause it and you rewind it whenever you're going to, none of that made sense. So I'm not saying I can, I was, you know, I wasn't gasping. It wasn't. Do you have a good grasp on it now? How it works? No, no, no. I don't know how anything works. I don't, I don't know how you're touching your screen. Yeah. Still, I should be gasping more. I'm aware of it. Yeah.

I just think it is very funny to think as a... I mean, just a picture. Holy moly. Did you see that? He got that guy. What? Was there a spider in here or something? He just swiped up on the screen with his finger.

That was the iPhone 7? It was the first iPhone. No, 2007. And you could swipe on the first one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. Before that, it was a flip phone. No screen touching. Yeah. Yeah, BlackBerrys. Yeah, BlackBerrys were wild. Not gasping at a BlackBerry. Do I have time? Can I give you all my invention ideas? Oh, yeah. Yeah. See if you guys want to invest. Yeah. I haven't done any work. Yeah, I would love it. I've always wanted these. I want a dishwasher that...

Why are you loving this? That's just a big box. You don't have to stack it. You don't have to put things on a rack. You just toss everything in. Yeah. And it does it. Yeah, but how's it better if they're on top of each other? Is it going to clean them? That's its job. That's all part of the invention. That's the invention is it figures it out. It would handle all that. Yeah. Because I think I do dishes a lot. I do it a lot more often if I could just throw everything in there. Yeah. I don't have to stack it all. Yeah. That's my big invention. Okay. Pretty good. If you want to invest. Yeah.

uh yeah i mean the lot the the logistics of it of just that's gonna be the tough that's a tough part a lot of plates breaking yeah throwing stuff in there right i'm more of an idea guy i think yeah i would say put them where the sink is yeah and you're always just laying them in there as you go along and eventually that sink closes up and then appears again and you're like it's all clean

You know? That's good. Yeah. That's good. So it's not its own separate thing. You just kind of close up the sink and then, oh, okay. Then it figures it out and then you wake up the next day. I like that. Yeah. And what I think would be happening is someone would be sneaking into your apartment while you're sleeping, doing the dishes, and then closing that door back is what I think the invention has to be.

So we have to employ a lot of people. And we'd have to just, they're like, what is going on? And you're like, I don't know. But for some reason, when you buy this dishwasher, you have to give them a key to your house. I never understood that. I never got that. That never made sense to me. Oh, man. I like it. Thank you, man. I've always wanted that. Is there more? I mean, I got others. I got others. Yeah. I want a shower that's like a 360 degree. Like you walk in like a scanner at the airport.

Or you just do it and it just knocks you out in like 10 seconds. And then you get out just like a quick, just like a hose, like be hosed down real fast. Like an elephant. Like you want, like you want to be you, the way you look at bathing is as a nightmare. Like it's, well, so no, you know, you have a lot of, you have a lot going on that you are, how much time do you think you're wasting in a shower?

Is it the idea of... Well, I'd like these two hours back. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, I would too, to be honest. Yeah. But wouldn't it be nice to have the option? Oh, I'd like it just a quick... You walk in... I need to go real fast. Boom. Just... Yeah. And just power washes you off. And it has the water and the soap in it. It's got everything. It's got everything in it. It's like a car wash. Shampoos your hair. Yeah, you're like, car wash. Exactly. Yeah. That'd be nice. Yeah, that'd be nice.

You could have a shower like that if you just build a shower with a bunch of shower heads on it. I've been in some of those where you're straight up and from the sides. What about the straight up? Yeah. What if you do that? We're almost there. I'm saying we're almost there. Yeah. You don't even want to actually have to move your arms.

Like you just go and stand. Right? That's the idea. If I could walk in and sit down, that'd be great too. As I was just in the shower. Yeah. Yeah. Like Kramer. Yeah. I figured I'm already in there. So why not? Yeah. We're about, how many more do you have? You have one more? I got one more. All right. It's the air conditioning unit with built-in scents.

You know? And you can adjust. Like smells. Yeah. So air conditioning. That's what a scent is, yeah. It's built in, you know? Make the whole house smell good. Yeah, but that's already, isn't that kind of, that might be invented. Show me where that is, dude, and I'll buy it right now. Well, I know they have clips that go on at a car that you put on. Yeah, I'm talking about for a house. Yeah.

Yeah. So, and it would just, I mean, you have potpourri, you have all this stuff. Yeah, you can do that, but I'm talking about just. But I mean, I think the commitment to a full house with air conditioning would be you get a headache. Like, you know, people can get a headache with that stuff. These are all things we need to think about and work on. I read they tried smell-o-vision at movie theaters where they put out scents for certain parts of the movies. It just didn't work because the next people came in to see the movie. It's just like, what is that? Yeah, I mean, they just walk in, they go.

The mother did it. We already just go, damn it, they ruined the whole movie. They go, God. You just figure it all out. Yeah. They do that in some Disney, in Disney World, they have the Bugs Life. Oh, really? They do smells like a stink bug. Yeah. Like it's that stuff for kids. We took, first time we took Harper, they have a thing, I mean, Harper's,

losing it during this. She was like five. And it's like, you know, smoke's flying out, all this kind of crazy stuff. And then at the end, they say something, they let the bugs leave. And then so every seat you just feel like, feels like bugs just run under your seat.

I mean, Harper. That's cool. Could not have jumped up. I mean, just kids are, I mean, she was a loser. She gassed. She gassed. She gassed. And I go, golly, that was, you know what that reminded me of? First time Aaron saw when you could swipe up on a phone. And she goes, oh, Aaron from the podcast. I go, yeah. Can you believe that? And she goes, that's, that's, all right. She goes, yeah, that's a good invention. You know? All right. We'll call this episode gas. Oh.

Inventions, we did it. You guys will be praying we get back to states. As always, everybody, thank you guys for listening and comment. Do all the stuff that you do. We truly appreciate it, and we will talk to you next week. See you. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment.

Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.