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Hello folks and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slick. All right. We're all back. Y'all were here last time. Yeah. Now you're done. You're off the road. Off the road. For a while. Forever.

Just did your last show ever. Yeah, last show ever. No, I leave Wednesday for 10 days. Okay. But it's basically done. I leave Wednesday because I have to go to... I'm in the American Century Championship, the golf tournament on NBC this weekend. Oh, wow. So I did it last year, and so I'm going back this year. And so I play in that.

this weekend and so then then I gotta go to LA for a couple things I don't think I might not be here next week actually but I'm not and then uh I go to LA for a couple things and then I got Paso Robles then the Great Outdoors Festival in Canada I think uh Bismarck North Dakota maybe something else uh

Winnipeg, you know, there's like a... Who are you playing with this weekend? Do you know? No, no. We're going to find out Wednesday. Okay. I think they usually try to put the comics together, so I'm sure I'll be with like Cable Guy or Rob Riggle or something like that. But we'll see. If you hear a little noise, Laura's decided to get the trees cut down during the podcast. Welcome. Just if you want to know what it's like being married to Laura.

You know, while we don't have a front door. Stuff like this. Let's get it done.

No time better. They're hard at work. I think it creates a real man atmosphere for the podcast. I think so too. We're like, there's some trees being cut down in the back. Yeah, we've got someone else to do it for us. Yeah. Yeah, we don't want to kill ourselves. That's right. You want to go out there though. Where would you be if this was your, would you be underneath the tree with them? I'd like to watch them mulch the trees. I do like that when the tree, I like to watch trees get cut down. And I like to watch them get mulched.

Yeah. Is that because you're against global warming? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, is that your only way to fight back? Yeah. Is you cut down the tree. Cut down the tree. I'm not necessarily for the trees being cut down. Yeah. But if you're going to do it, I want to see it. I would like to be there. If they're already down. Yeah. I want to see them be mulched. And then the mulch goes back into the earth. That's right. Yeah. You know. You're just giving back. Yeah. Yeah.

Get it going, you know? Sometimes there's too many trees in an area. You got to get rid of some, let the others grow a bit. You know? Yeah, I could see getting into that. Like, where you're into, like, you got to, I guess, what do they do? They do that for fires. Like, where they... Yeah, they can burn it out. Yeah, they have to, but they have to take some trees down. A controlled burn. A controlled burn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I said there was something about smokejumpers on something the other day. I forget. Yeah.

I don't know where. I never watched it, but they were like about to talk to me. Smoke jumpers? Yeah, the guys that jump in the fires. Because there's fires right now in California. So I don't even know what they do, but I think they come in from the top because they can't get in. How do they get out? They don't. Yeah. It's the nexus of the universe. Wow. Two streets intersect. Yeah. But they jump in. What do they do when they get in there?

Start fighting the fire. All that noise right there. Yeah, yeah. They do that. They jump in with like a saw. They work their way out. Yeah, they have like a ton of stuff packed in their clothes. You better not forget something. Yeah, I mean, it's a ton of stuff. I forgot my canteen. An initial attack response on remote fires. They parachute in.

Once arrived on site, smokejumpers utilize similar strategies to hotshot crews and terrestrial crews to extinguish fires. They use axes to dig trenches around the fire's perimeter to isolate the flames from further fuel sources. So I think they try to get to them quick. They're the first responder to fires. Once they're done, they hike to the nearest clearing and then they get picked up by helicopter again. They get helicoptered out. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

That makes sense. But you got to make it to that clearing. Yeah. Yeah. But they got to get to it quick. Yeah. Because it's like, so they're like, hey, this fire started here. We need guys to it now. So they go, fly, jump out, parachute. They don't have to hike because the fire is in the middle of,

That's pretty wild. Like when you leave for that job and your wife's like, be careful. It's like, there's really no point in even saying that. Yeah. Right? Okay, I'll try. Yeah. Yeah. It's not really up to me. Yeah. Well, I bet you still say it just because what are you going to say? Be safe. Yeah. You're like, all right, be safe. You're like the second that plane takes off the air, it's...

You don't hear enough about this job. Yeah. I mean, I feel like Smokejumper should be talked about more often. Shortly after Smokejumper's touch ground, they are supplied by parachute with food, water, and firefighting tools, making them self-sufficient for 48 hours. Wow. So these are real survivalists. This looks to be a reality show. At that point, though, it doesn't seem as dangerous. This was a movie in Entourage, the show. This was a fictional movie where Vinny Chase played a smokejumper. I remember that now. Mm-hmm.

In that entourage, they did Aquaman. They did Aquaman. They did a show called Silo that became a show. A lot has come to fruition. Oh, wait. Silo? What was this? Billy Walsh wrote the movie called Silo in the show. And then there was the show Silo. Yeah. About farm silos? Something like that. Yeah, futuristic kind of. Yeah, it was like they're in a silo. They can't get out of the silo. It's like a dome or something. Yeah. I watched it.

Four or five episodes and then I've never, I don't know if they ever got out. I just kind of bailed on it. I don't know what that says about a show. And I think people like, I just, I think it just got kind of busy. Yeah, I think I was thinking about Beyond the Dome. Was that another one where there was a dome? Pauly Shore?

No, there's a TV show called The Dome. I think I was thinking about that one. They just drag it out. It's like, just make it a movie and let me see it in an hour and a half. Yeah, yeah, that's the problem. Or just a limited series where it's one season and you don't have to extend it indefinitely for season two. Yeah, because it's like, there's never any completion. You get to the end of the episode and you go, ooh, I got to watch the next one. And then you get to the end of the season and you're like, okay.

Oh, now I got to watch season two. It's because the people that are making these shows do not live regular lives. Yeah. And they have time to watch movies. They have nannies or they have no kids or they have... You know what I mean? So their whole life is watching just every show that drops. And once you... The middle of the country that has families is like, yeah, dude, we could handle...

One, everybody loves Raymond. Yeah. And then that was it. You couldn't, I can't get involved in an 18-hour show. Right. Yeah, a show that you watch for a half hour once a week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they did. Yeah. Let's finish season four of Chosen. Now there's a season five. I'm like, come on, guys. Is he going to make it or not? Just let me know what's going to happen. They're just dragging it out. Yeah. There you go. Chosen's great. That was good.

by the way. Yeah, yeah. I know you don't like it, but... I don't say I don't like it. I have not watched it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know a previous episode, I thought you said you weren't a fan of it. Well, I'm never... I don't know. I just... I'm not a fan of, like, you know, like, creating people from the Bible and, like, you know, I feel like it then puts a picture of what everybody looks like and they may not look like that. Yeah. That's what I'm kind of... So best not even to imagine it in your head. Yeah. So you would say just...

Watch it with your eyes closed. Yes. Just listen to it. An audio book. Read it with your eyes closed too. So you don't like, you know, you don't paint a picture in your head as you're reading it. I always think of, I think of Noah, I think of Aaron. Do you? Yeah. Why? Yeah. That's like the picture of Noah you have in your head? Yeah. Just Aaron. Huh. Yeah. Because I have more of a Dusty. No, Dusty's Abraham. I like that. Yeah. Yeah.

You're one of the women. You're like a Roman. You're like a Roman. A Roman? Well, because, you know, I feel like the Romans had no beards.

He's the Roman. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be the Roman you want nailing. I mean, he doesn't have enough power to get that. I just get it over with. He's like, I'm sorry. I'm trying my best. Yeah. That's not the guy you want. That's not the guy. You can't get it through. Is there not a bigger guy that can get this through in one motion?

This guy's doing multiple hits. That is true. I'd hit my own thumb. He's not even hitting the nail. And you sit there and go, golly, dead gummit, hit my thumb. And that guy's like, it's half. He goes, hold on. He's got it. I got it. I dropped the hammer. You're apologizing. Sorry. Sorry. I'll get it. He's like, this is brutal, dude.

Well, we had a good fourth was there. I'm wearing my Caitlin Clark hat. I wore it because I was going to wear it. I wasn't here last week, but we went today because I did a show in Indianapolis for the Indiana Fever play. House that Caitlin built. Yeah. It was, they have a really cool, they have a really cool jacket. Somehow it's been taken from me, I think.

The WNBA is hot now. I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos on Caitlin Clark drama. I'm into it. Yeah, yeah. I've been watching the Fever games. I'm still not watching the games, but I watch a lot of highlights. I've watched her games. I've watched the whole game. Yeah? Yeah. The last... I mean, I have them. I record them on...

I record them and just watch them. Oh yeah. And go back and yeah. Here's you in that fever jacket. This is on, this is on the Indiana fevers Instagram. Yeah. Oh, look at that. Yeah. Good jacket. That is a good jacket. Dustin Nickerson said all these people here to see someone else. Now I know how the rest of the Indiana fever feel. Yeah. He did it way better than that. Yeah. It wasn't that. All right. Yeah. I'm sorry.

Well, how did it go? It was like, it killed. It was, he's like all, he goes, all these people here to see Nate. And now I know what the players feel like on the Indiana. It was better than that too. Yeah. More of a description. He kind of gave it like he was. What do you do it?

Oh, this is so many. I'll do it with Dustin. Wow. Wow. Oh, that's overwhelming. Thank you. He said there's so many people here. That's very disrespectful. It was. I feel horrible about that. Here's why it was. I think mine was the best. A, it's not good impression. B, you're doing an impression no one knows. So you're just being mean to Dustin.

Like, it's not like anybody listening is like, man, that's dead on. I mean, it's close enough. Majority of people are just like, God. Like, I mean, the one thing you're going to hurt, you hurt Dustin's feelings. That's what I'm hoping. I'm starting to wonder if this was even that good of a job. Oh, it murdered, dude. It murdered. He said, it was a great job. A lot of people here to see somebody who isn't me. Now I know what it feels like to be one of the other people on the Indiana Fever. Yeah. Boo.

Explosion. Explosion. Yeah. Anyway. Sorry about that, Dustin. I like that I got three versions of that joke, though. I feel very acquainted with that joke now. I went down. Well, four counting that first impression. I got a little carried away there. Nate just went down. I like you always, you like to tell them. Huh? You like to let people know. I went down. I went down. Yeah. Yeah. I just lowered my seat. I was up too much. I don't like being up.

You know, when John Reap was here, he was down. His seat was down and he seemed very small. I don't feel like you seem like that when you've gone low. You remember how small he looked? Yeah, he was sitting next to me. Yeah, I get that too. That was like up to here. Move Aaron over here. You doing all right there, Johnny? It's an optical illusion.

Did anybody have anything that you wanted to? Yeah, I did my show at the Lab at Zany's Wednesday night. Sold out show. So many folks came out. Thank you, Aaron, for being on it. Absolutely, man. Everybody there was like, we thought Dusty was going to come. I know. A lot of refund. Last minute refund. Well, I am sorry about that, guys, but I went to Alabama, so it was a lot of fun.

At least you had a good reason. I wanted to see some family. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good time. Yeah. But no, it was a great show. Thank you for everyone coming out. Next one's August 14th. August 14th. There you go. There you go. You doing a monthly? Like it's going to be a residency every other month or something? Hopefully monthly. Okay. Nice. If I sell enough tickets. Boom.

I'd imagine, like, most podcasts don't have to deal with, like, cutting a tree down. Can you imagine, like, a real... This is a real thing, man. I feel... I'm sorry, everybody. I feel bad for people. I feel like this is, like, a legit... This is a real podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is our four-year anniversary. Today. We're doing this four years. It's a real Tennessee podcast. It is. We got stuff going on out here. Yeah, I don't think anybody's surprised by it. But, I mean, I think you gotta be, like...

It could be a tree down in the backyard. Who plans it for 4 p.m. Monday? The day our door got taken out was a podcast day. It was a bit late to get started on it. So hot. I think that's the problem. We're going through it right now. It's 100 degrees. Yeah. Middle of the day. Yeah. It's like that real hot.

Is it anybody else? Do you have any? Nothing. Nothing? Your life's nothing? No, I did a boring life. I had the weekend off. Yeah. I mean, I went to Alabama, but, you know, just had a good time. Yeah. You know? Nothing. Nothing. Yeah, just boring. I saw you made a video about the rain or something. Y'all got caught in the farm. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was out. I bought some land. Yeah.

uh near my dad so we went to look at it yeah and then it started raining so we pulled under the barn and uh you know just hung out under the barn in alabama yeah does it land in two states now yeah does it pump up against your dad's land yeah it was my uncle's land okay and he got an offer to somebody offered to buy it from him so he offered it to us because my dad's been using it for you know 50 years but um so if it got sold to someone else and we couldn't use it anymore

Yeah. So now I own it. You own it and your dad's still using it? Yeah. Your dad made up like a bandit. But I wanted to go check it out because my dad wants to do some stuff to it. So I wanted to, you know, talk about it. Were they forcing your uncle to sell it? No, like somebody made it off. My uncle's like 90. Yeah. And somebody came along and said, I'd like to buy this land. So my uncle said, I'm going to sell it to this guy unless you want to buy it. I got you. And maybe they were forcing it, but he- Maybe there was no other guy. That could be true too. Ah, he tricked you. Yeah.

Well, I did think for a minute he was trying to use me for, I'm happy that he sold it to me because I wanted it. And I kept telling my dad, why don't you ask him if he'll sell it? And he's like, oh, he ain't never going to sell it. So I'm happy that it happened. But, you know, when he, when I called, so he called my dad and then I called him and I said, yeah, I'll buy it. I'd like to buy it for that price. And he goes, and we talked for a while. Everything was good. And then at the end he goes, well, I just hope that guy doesn't make a better offer now.

And I go, well, me too. Yeah. And then we both kind of laugh about it. And then, you know, then it ended. So I, I felt like he was using me as leverage, but apparently the guy didn't make another offer. So it all worked out.

That's funny that he went back. He did go back to that guy to try. He used his nephews to keep the land in the family. Yeah. Used his leverage. He used his leverage to try to get his nephew up. Yeah. And I think he did. But fortunately, the guy was like, nah, that's okay. Yeah. Congrats, dude. Yeah, thank you. Like a little Bill Gates. Yeah. Real little. Real little. Yeah.

Someone commented last week that you're such a good ad reader that you're going to be a great dad reading to your daughter. How about that? And then I see a video of you reading to kids. Yeah, I did. I read to some kids. The Dorfmans, who own the Zany's Comedy Club here in Nashville, Andrew owns an orchard in Mount Juliet, and he does story time. I don't know how often, once a week, maybe once a month, and all these families come out. Sometimes it's 100 families out there, and he's trying to get

and other people to come read, so I came and read a story. Interesting. Kids are tough crowds. I've had a kid for three years. He's never asked me to come read. I was the first one to do it. Oh, okay. I was the, you know, you're too big a name to get now. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm available. He's reading down the woods anyway, so might as well have some people around. Yeah. Yeah, I love to read a kid's book. I'm into it. Yeah, come on out and do it. Yeah. Breedon's Orchard in Mount Juliet.

When they posted a video, you're reading and doing a little dancing. Well, I didn't know I signed up. There's some dancing too. I didn't know about until I was halfway in it. Now I'm out. The two-de-ta.

out. Do you know that song? You can probably make a demand. I'd have your agent reach out and say, have your lawyer reach out. Old Testament. He's not dancing. He'll read the books, but no tootie-ta. One book, no voices. No voices. I like Old Testament. He goes, only Old Testament. The Torah. And they go, we're going to have it be a kid's book. He goes, no.

Something from the Old Testament. So you only read the Old Testament. Yeah. Major prophets. Yeah. Yeah. No minor ones. Yeah, yeah. Real big deal stuff. But you'd be great at it. Yeah. He goes, or he'll do, or he will do dancing, but then he wants to do revelations. Yeah. So it's, you decide what, what dusty do you want there?

Do you want to dance in Dusty? Well, then you go get a Revelations Dusty. Or do you want no dancing, a little Old Testament? You know, that is the problem with reading the Bible to your kids. It's like, there's like serious stuff going on in here. I'm like, I don't know that I'm ready to explain this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, it is their eternity, so it's probably a lot to do. No, I mean like, I'm like, and then there was death and destruction, and I'm like, how?

Yeah, I think that's what church does like Bible. They kind of ease into it a little bit. Not though the weight of the world. Even like a Noah story, you know, it seems fun. You're just loading them into the ark, loading some animals into a boat. But, you know, then the rest of the world is killed.

Well, you'll think about that part of it. Yeah, I think you just don't mention that part. There was a comic when I first started. I've been trying to track down who said this bit. It was an open mic in Nashville. He had a bit that every night before he went to bed, his grandmother would read him stories from the Bible. And then his mom or his dad, who's not very religious, was like, can you stop reading the kid? I don't want him to read the Bible. So the grandmother started reading him Lord of the Rings.

but never told him that it was a different book. Oh, wow. He just thought Lord of the Rings was the Bible. It is just a very funny bit. I don't know whose it was. I feel like maybe that was Gary Fletcher. Was it? I don't know. I've heard that joke too. Yeah, I think about that all the time. Got a little name dropping going on today, boys. That's right, dude. Want me to hear a Gary Fletcher impression? I'll do it right here on the phone.

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Quality ad read. Appreciate it. One day your kids, you'll be reading to your kids and your kids will be like, where do I sign up? We had, it was a long, it was a leaf blower got involved down there. I hate a leaf blower. I'm going to just say in general, I hate them. Using them is pretty great though. I'm a fan. Brian Regan has a great new joke about leaf blower. I don't want to say it. Yeah. Cause it's a, but it's very funny. I want to hear it. I hate them. Yeah.

Yeah. You love leaves. Why do you not like them? It's just so unnecessarily loud. Yeah. I mean, I'll be in the neighborhood. I'll be in my house watching TV and I'm like, what is that noise? And then I go out and it's just some guy blowing off his driveway for no reason. It's like, there's nothing on there. Just go inside. That's what I always want to say. What are you doing out here? Yeah. That's when you go to the farm. Yeah. You think you'd use one of those?

Do you like a leaf blower? Would you use a leaf blower? I don't think so. I mean, I think one day I might do it, but I want them to get quieter with it. Is that pretty much the Regan bit? Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of, yeah. Well, I bet he hates it. Yeah. Let's start with you guys' comments. Michelle Elizabeth says,

I was so upset when I didn't see Nate, but Greg Warren killed it. I've always loved him, but dang. Wait, I've always loved him, but dang. He's so quick, so funny, and he seems to be very kind and genuine. He is very funny. He is very funny. The but dang is not supposed to really be in there. I think they're saying, I always loved him, but dang. He's so quick. Yeah. I think she was trying to do dust. Yeah. Okay, yeah. I always loved him, but dang. He is so... Yeah.

He exceeded even my high expectations of him. Yeah. And Greg is the best, too. Very mean guy, I found. Just in general. When the podcast is not on, very mean. Demanding. He punched me a couple of times last week when I was here. He's an old wrestler. Yeah. Matthew Powell. Aaron is the king of subtle jokes and references that none of the other hosts get. The man drops a Zanga.

in an ad read like it's nothing. Every week he leaves a little Easter egg. Oh, thank you. But that's usually the mark of a bad joke if nobody you're with gets it. That's what I'm thinking. You and Matthew Powell are bonding here. The rest of us are like sanga. Sometimes I put on a little private show for Matthew Powell. On Aaron Land. Yeah.

Yeah, that's for Aaron. Yeah. Yeah, don't put that on us. Matt Powell might not have a good sense of humor. And that's why Aaron's his favorite in the subtle jokes. But that's good. I think you and Matt. Maybe you guys get together sometime. Yeah, man. Matt, he's just dying with you. You're like, who's your buddy you brought that wouldn't stop, dude? It's Holly. It's the...

Complete chaos. Yeah. I mean, pull it up in a cul-de-sac. It's just 50 trucks. No one can get anywhere. Kelsey Kirkwood. I was so happy Aaron called out Dusty on the way he says city names. It's about time, dude. Yeah. It's about time.

I don't know. Apparently I say cities like I'm comparing them to other cities. Is that what you were saying? Yeah. We'll notice it. You're going to say a city at some point, this podcast. What's a city in Alabama? Opelika. Is that not it? Like at the end of the show, he'll pitch. Like I'm going to. Opelika, Alabama. I'm going to Albuquerque. Yeah. Is that it?

The context of how you're using the sentence doesn't lend itself to what I'm talking about. I'll point it out when it happens. Leanne Henderson. Last night, I had a dream that Aaron won the July 4th hot dog eating competition. This led me to wonder who would win a hot dog eating contest amongst you four and how many things you could each could eat.

I mean, I wouldn't wet them. So I'm down. And I'd want ketchup. That's the part that's so gross, dude. Yeah, I'd want ketchup. So I could ride you, too. You got a contest? Yeah, I'd go up there and I'd be like, I'm here for the hot dog. Yeah, I'm going to enjoy it. Enjoy the hot dog. So with ketchup on it.

The guy who won. I could eat two, maybe three. First of all, Joey Chestnut wasn't in the competition this year, so it feels like a fake year. It's a weird. It's like a bubble year. Because he did. He signed a contract with a competing company or something, and they excluded him. I thought Netflix did something with him, too.

Who knows? Netflix is supposed to live stream like Joey Chestnut. I thought they were. I heard nothing about it. Well, the guy who won, I was watching his form. He's eating three hot dogs at once. Yeah. And then he's dipping the buns in hot water. Yeah. I don't know. It's hot water. That's the part that makes it gross. How do you know it's hot? They were talking about it. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

I can't. I can't do that. I thought you could tell maybe. Maybe he was going. Yeah. He was shaking his hand. It was boiling water. He just like, he would dip it and just go. But he wanted, he even said in the interview after he's like, when Joey Chestnut wasn't doing it, I thought I might actually win this year. Yeah.

And he won, dude. How many did he eat? I think 58. I think 58. And Chestnut is like 62, 64 on a bad... That's his bad years. He hit 71 a year, right? Maybe 70 or 72. Like, he's... Chestnut is not even in the 50s. He's 60 and the 7. It's like crazy. Yeah, he ate 76 in 2021. Yeah, so it's... Yeah, I mean, it's not even...

It's not even like, it's funny though when you, cause I would, I saw it and it's like up there. Then they're like, you know, they're like, they go to this guy and you're like, this guy's ate five pounds of fudge. And they're like, and you're showing him, he goes, he's the world champion of fudge eating. And you're like, Ooh, he goes, he's up there in the hot. And then they scroll over to the next guy. And like, he drank five gallons of lemonade. There's a lemonade. Yeah. This is the lemonade guy. Yeah. The Joey Chestnut of lemonade. Yeah.

This big dude, a Lavelle Crawford looking guy in the middle. Yeah. He just. Gulps it. Yeah. It just looks like he had a long day. That guy on the, like he, like he just got done working and he just goes, y'all have any lemonade? This guy crushed those guys. Yeah. He's not even phased. He crushed it. Yeah. I think you're just done, dude. Wow. Wow.

Some of these guys have been there. Yeah. Oh, Eric Badlands Booker, dude. Fourth straight title. Legend. Fourth straight title. Legend. Domination. I mean, the other guys weren't even close. That'll be the new thing to watch. If Joe Chestnut's out, then I guess you're going to head to Lemonade to watch a guy. Mm-hmm. You want to watch a dynasty. Yeah.

But yeah, I always like seeing because they show this guy. If he's around that much longer. He's eating 12 bags of popcorn in under three minutes. And you're like, oh, all right. And you get 40 hot dogs. You're like, well, that's not that good. They go, why can't he do more? I wonder if Joey Chisinau, if you go, why are you not doing lemonade then?

And he, you know, if he's like, well, I can't. I'm not solid foods. Yeah, not while Badlands Booker is in the, it's not even worth it. Right. Yeah. Right. Did Badlands also do the hot dog? I don't think so. Do you think they only do one? Is there anybody that does two? I don't think you can do two on the same day, dude. I don't know.

I don't know. He's like the Shohei Otani of Badlands life. Yeah, he's like, I'm just, I'm good at drinking. Yeah. He's like, I'm not that good at eating. I think he's pretty good at eating though. Badlands looks like he'd be eating too. Yeah, I think he has like, he had the ice cream record at one point. Yeah, I think the real winner is cholesterol. You ever, you guys ever been in a food eating contest? No. No.

Other than your donut competition. I did a Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit eating competition in high school. Underperformed. I'm not a speed guy. It was him versus him in the mirror. It was just for breakfast. I did an oyster eating contest one time.

Raw oysters? Oh, gross. Because I like raw. I used to like raw oysters. And I thought it would be like, they'd be in the shells and it'd be a race to open them and eat them. But it was like just a full cup of just raw oysters. Disgusting. And so I like, I had no idea. And I take it and I drink like three oysters in.

And I look to the guy to the right of me, and he slams down his first cup. He's already drank it. I just got off the stage. I was like, I'm not even, I'm not about to make myself sick. I already lost to this guy. Yeah. I'm done. And it's, I don't know, I don't understand how people can do that. Oysters, I don't ever understand why people say they like oysters. Because it's just like, you're swallowing, you're just swallowing. So disgusting. Like, I've done it, but it's like about the sauce.

and you put it on the cracker. Yeah, it's all about the sauce, yeah. But when someone's like, man, I love oysters, you're like, well, there's not really, what do you, you love swallowing? You could do a steamed oyster too where you put a little, get a little hot butter or something on it. Yeah, I don't think you do an oyster and go, that's good. Like a plain oyster, you couldn't go, that's good. You'd go, that just was like I swallowed something.

Yeah, you do a little cocktail sauce, hot sauce. I mean, it is fun to do. It's like if you're sick. Wow. But I think it's about the sauce. You think you're right. I think, yeah. It's just like a loogie. It's just like disgusting. Yeah, that's the word, dude. I know. But I mean, like I've done it. You put it on a cracker. But yeah, when you get done with it, you go, I don't. You know, everybody's like, man, I love oysters. You're like, I don't see how. We used to do oyster shots where you put, it's like a little Bloody Mary, but like a little shot where you just crush up an oyster in there too and do that. Mm-hmm.

It's like a little Bloody Mary thing. But you have a Bloody Mary? But it's just like tomato sauce and alcohol and horseradish. Oh, and the oyster. And the oyster. So you're having alcohol with the oyster. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Yeah, I mean, what's the point of the oyster then? Charleston was wild. Well, it's just, you know, it's like you're at an oyster place. There was a place called Pearl's. They were all about the oysters. So you had all these different...

oyster things and they are really good i don't eat them now but they are really good we do once a year in college we do the thunderdome one-on-one what's that you challenge somebody it's me against you trash can in the middle one full solo cup of beer per minute until somebody throws up oh power i will tell you when not a power hour

But this is one full solo cup of beer per minute until somebody throws up. Oh. And that's how you win is you outlast the other guy. Okay. We're at Notre Dame? Yeah. That's cool. That trash can. And this is where y'all go and we're supposed to, y'all run the country out of there? Yeah. That's cool, man.

This wasn't a university sanctioned event. But apparently, if you do that behind a gas station, you're a loser. Yeah. No, you got to have some pageantry. You got to have an announcer. It's got to be a degree behind it. It's got to be a degree. You want to, at the end of the day, show up and go. Yeah, there's got to be a structure to it. Yeah. There's got to be a guy in a referee shirt who's kind of running things. Yeah. Did you win?

I did not win. I'm terrible at it. Did anybody win? Some dudes won. 11, 12 beers. It's crazy to watch. I gave about four. Then it's just the volume. Just the sheer volume of beer you throw up. That's cool, man. What's the time limit on the hot dog eating?

Is it five minutes? Ten minutes? No, yeah. I think it's like ten. I could do... Seventy hot dogs in ten minutes? Mm-hmm. I could do four. I maybe get through my first one in ten minutes. I'm a big Nathan's hot dog fan. I don't like their hot dog, to be honest. Even though... So that's what's holding you back? Yeah. You think these guys are enjoying the taste of them? Yeah. I would have won if it wasn't Nathan's. I would say, let me kind of do Oscar Mayer.

I like a Hebrew National. I don't know if I like Hebrew National. I like Oscar Mayer. I go, can I do Oscar Mayer with the ones with the cheese inside of them? I would be there for the hot dog. This is like when you wanted to do chocolate-covered donuts for the donut eating competition. That was a mistake. That did hurt me. But I go, if I'm going to do it, I would like to enjoy it. Who won the donut eating competition?

Oh. Yeah, and he passes? Yeah. Yeah. No, but Aaron, yeah, Aaron won, but it was, Aaron did not do what we thought he was going to do. Based on handicap, I did. Yeah, Bates was the surprise. How many did you eat? Like eight, I think? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. They hot Krispy Kremes? No. No. No, they were cold and they were hard. You know, that's one thing I support the microwave on is a Krispy Kreme. You put the Krispy Kreme in the microwave, heat it up for about 30 seconds, it gets so soft. Yeah.

yeah 30 is too long maybe about 10 seconds i haven't done it in a long time it's gonna come out a bagel yeah yeah it's gonna be the opposite soft yeah i mean it's like eight to ten seconds okay i haven't done it in that long it's been a long time you really don't use microwaves no no i don't yeah but in the in the past i would put one in there it's liquid would you ever would you if we could get one of those vests the dentist wear would you use your microwave

Well, the stuff's in the food then, whatever. Yeah. Radiation. Oh, okay. So. But you're fine. Because Krispy Kreme, you're like, you're already eating something. Well, I don't really eat a lot of Krispy Kreme. Yeah. It's all in the past. I like donuts a lot, man. I do too. I really do. I like them. I like to go to like a, if you could find a real like kind of local donut place, wherever you're at, get an old fashioned. I love an old fashioned donut.

Yeah, Dunkin', I'm not a fan of Dunkin' Donuts. That's a weird, I'm blown away that

like up north, like people just can't even wrap your head around how you would like a Dunkin' Donuts. I feel like they haven't had Krispy Kreme. Apparently across the street from Zaney's, they're about to build a Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah, Dunkin' Donuts is, they're just, they're just taking over. And I'm so disappointed by it. I know. I don't. What would you rather have? I'm sorry, you said up north they do or don't? They do love Dunkin' Donuts. Okay. So I'm saying I don't, but I, like to me, I don't like it at,

I don't like it that much that I don't like, you know, even if I want a donut, if I go get it, I would always be disappointed in Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah. And you say you're getting disappointed in Krispy Kreme. They're not the same either. But even their bad ones are still good. It's a good donut. But it's, yeah, but Krispy Kreme is just on, it's their service and they're, you know, if they shut down, I think they partnered with McDonald's. I think they're in trouble.

I'd imagine. Charleston used to have a Krispy Kreme where they had the conveyor belt and that you would see the donuts come out on it and then you would see it go under and get glazed and then they would get them right off the conveyor for you. Yeah. Well, they had that at other Krispy Kremes, but the odds of you catching when that's happening is there's no system anymore. That's the thing. That's the problem with Krispy Kreme. There's no...

show to it anymore it's just like you get there and you're like yeah we did that four days ago on these donuts and you're like okay yeah and they got a hot sign and you're like hey the donut's hot they're like one donut is the one you don't want what is it's a pink donut all right well

Ken Fogler, after discovering the podcast, I've been listening to all episodes in reverse order. It's fun listening to everyone slowly become less successful. That's funny. Okay. I think Bates would be surprised. Bates, I think you were huge at the beginning. Mm-hmm. Yep. I didn't even exist. Yeah.

Kenzie Fullerton. My family and I recently traveled to Panama City Beach, Florida. We made friends with another family in the pool, asked where they're from. The mom, Amber, said Opelika, Alabama. I got excited. The media said, do you know Dusty Slate? She said, yes, she does know him and not only knew of him, but she was supposed to be his date to his senior prom. I was so excited to meet someone who knew him personally and pestered her with more dusty questions. Kenzie. Do you know Amber? Amber.

Well, I would have to know her last name, but I don't even think I... Would you have to know the last name? Yeah. How many girls named Amber were you supposed to go to the prom with? Well, I didn't go to my senior prom. I didn't realize that I was supposed to go with someone. I'm sorry. You stood her up. I'm sorry, Amber. I had no idea. She's waiting at her front door in a dress. I'm sorry, Amber. I didn't know that. That's sad. It is. You can make it up to her.

But I'm glad she's doing well. I mean, she says... She's got a family. The mom, Amber, said Opelika. So she's got kids now. Yeah. And they're down at Panama City Beach swimming in a pool. Yeah. Yeah, they're doing good. They're having a good time. Yeah. Yeah.

That's sad. Yes. Didn't even go to your prom. Honestly, I didn't even know I had a date. That might have changed. I might have went. Amber, you got to let me know next time. Yeah. Did you go to any dances in high school? I went to most of them. Why not prom? Do you remember what happened? Well, prom was like a whole thing. They wanted you to rent a tux. You had to like really do up a thing. Yeah. I had like- Like prom. I had like one tie, coat, and shoes that I think I wore to every school dance. Yeah. So, but-

You had to really go all out. So you asked Amber to the prom, and then you just didn't want to get a tux? You're like, this is too expensive. I guess. I mean, I had a lot going on. But, yeah, I mean, my family wasn't trying to rent me tuxes and things. You know, you're making $5.15 an hour at the Jim Bob's or the Western Civil. That tux money goes a long way. Yeah, that's a week's worth of work just to lose your cufflinks. Exactly. Exactly.

Poor Amber. Dan Hennessy. Nate getting Corey Chavis' autograph when Corey is three years older than Nate, probably 21 and 18 at the time, and his mom had to go get it for him is way more embarrassing than Brian's story of Brian as a high school freshman getting another high school player's autograph who was on the cover of a recruiting magazine. All right. Thank you, Dan. I agree. None of that's true at all. What part's not true?

My mom didn't go get – my mom got a ball, the ball from the game that was used. That's why – and then she said, oh, well, Corey Chavis is his favorite player. And I was still in high school. I think I was graduating high school and he was – So 20 and 17 then. Maybe, yeah. And then yours is a high school – yeah, yours is a high school freshman to another high school freshman.

My guy is playing college basketball. I mean, college football.

Well, mine was not actually on the cover of Recruiting Magazine. He just mentioned what's in the magazine. Yeah, that's the whole thing. Did you walk up to him when he was with a group of people, too? Yeah. And did they laugh? A group of players, yeah. Well, you're living in Lebanon back in the day. It's like you don't meet a lot of people. This guy was mentioned in a magazine. Yeah, he was mentioned in a magazine one time. Yeah, yeah. Corey Chavis was like a star of Vanderbilt. So people were getting his autograph.

And then we got the actual football. That's why. What are either of these guys up to now? I think Corey Javis does well.

uh draft stuff i think he's like radio podcast that kind of stuff i don't know what his dude i've lost contact with carlos grows but um i hope he's doing well he's most famous for getting in a fight with shack in college okay uh cory javis is a uh analyst for college football games for cbs yeah an nfl draft analyst there you go how about it yeah 48 years old 45 three years yeah

Yeah, but he got drafted. He was second round, played pro. I mean, he was a big deal in college for Vandy. So I don't think it's that crazy. And the ball I got was used in the Tennessee Vandy game. Yeah, that's pretty sweet. And my mom was there. So I didn't go ask my mom to get the autograph. My mom just got this for me. He went up.

to a group of high school kids. Yeah. That go how you thought it would, Brian? Yeah. No, I think everybody listening still agrees with Dan. I think everybody, yeah. I think people have fast forwarded. You think Hennessy is his real last name? I guess so. Hennessy, Dan Hennessy. Next comment from Michael Yeager. It is Michael. I wish you would use a different first name to do your joke.

Michael Lotito

And you could have used Tito's. Yeah, Tito's. Michael Latito's. Yeah, you could have. The name is Latito. Tito's, yeah. Michael Tito's. I wonder if that's one of those subtle jokes we don't get. Matt Powell is rolling on the floor right now. He's like, this guy doesn't stop. This guy is so good. Tell me more about Thunderdome in college. He is good. Michael Latito.

Because it is funny that it's Hennessy and then Tito. So you really should have just used the actual real name. You read it in everything. That's...

brutal take from bad news baits. The Euros, Copa America, Wimbledon, and the Olympics are this month. Might be the best sports month in the last few years. That's insane. I mean, I should have clarified sports that people care about. There you go. There you go. Now, last week I said, I asked, I just asked the question, is July the most boring sports month of the year?

And we all kind of said, yeah. I mentioned the Olympics. You didn't mean this specific July. You just meant in general. In general. Because I mentioned this year, at least we have the Olympics at the end of the month. The first two things, I don't even know what he's talking about. The Euros is like the World Cup, but just for Europe. And so is Copa America. Yeah. I watched, but America got knocked out. I did watch...

Ronaldo and Mbappe, France. I watched that game. Portugal. I watched that whole game, and I watched it because it went into penalty kicks. And I was watching it, and I was like, I wish I had known that it was going to go that far. But I watched it because those two guys were playing. So I was like, these are two legendary players. So that made me watch that. And then Wimbledon...

I mean, I'd watch the final. I'd maybe watch the last day of it. Is that tennis? Yeah. I think I'd watch the final match if it's like Djokovic or something. If it's someone I know. People also pointed out Formula One, Tour de France. I'm not into Formula One. Tour de France is like... Yeah, I mean, there's...

Those are huge worldwide, I know. Yeah, yeah. We're talking about your four guys from the South. Right. It's a bad time for sports. That's what we meant. I wasn't even here, but that's what he means. Yeah. No one... And look, we watched some of this, but no one...

in the South is excited that the Euros and Copa America and Wimbledon and the Olympics, no one that's like, you know, is it the winter Olympics or the summer? It's the summer Olympics. Well, people are excited about the summer Olympics as much as they're as much as they can be. Well,

Well, someday it's winter in the other hemisphere. I don't know if it was. I'll be excited about the, you got basketball, you got, you know, but I mean, they, uh, everybody was watched, I think us in the Copa America and then they got, they lost. So then you're like, our country's out. Were you bummed about that? I'm mainly familiar with bare Manolo's Copa Cabana. Yeah. That's the Copa I know. And that's what you listen to all of July. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah.

Miguel Malachon. Malochon. Miguel Malachon. That's probably right. Malachon. Malachon. I remember seeing Charlie Murphy from the Dave Chappelle show a few years before his passing. When his show started, he instructed everyone to get out all the quotes from the Chappelle show the crowd had on their mind to avoid interruption to his act.

Things went sideways quickly, but after five minutes, zero interruptions and one of the best shows I've ever seen. Have any of you considered doing the same? I mean, we are...

It would be so funny for me to go out there. All right, y'all yell out all my favorites. Just yell, get rid of it. Plant joke. They got nothing. Anybody good. That's the one time I took questions at a college. I think I've told that story on here. Right after this special. Anybody have any questions? And this was maybe right after the Tennessee Kid aired. And I was doing a theater at, I want to say...

I want to say it was near Florida State or something, something. And I was like, I don't have any new material. And then I go out there and like...

I'm like, I don't have all new jokes. So does anybody have any questions? Nobody. Yeah. Nobody had a question. Yeah. Who are you? Yeah. Yeah. And I was in a theater, but it wasn't a big theater. It wasn't sold out. Yeah. And there were people that were there because of me, but they're not on top of it. You know what I mean? So then, yeah, they just go, no, I got nobody. All right.

But I bet that was such a problem at his shows, Charlie Murphy's. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that is the best way to handle it. John Witherspoon would do that too. Because he was in like Friday and a bunch of other really popular... So people would just yell those out the whole time. Regan would do it at the end. Because I think people would... He did not do it...

I actually just saw Regan at Ryman, but he, I don't think he did it then, but he would do it at the end. So at the end he'd be like, his encore, his encore to yell, you know, the big yellow ones, the sun. Somebody yelled that in the middle of a special. Yeah. Yeah. He's I'm in the middle of a TV thing right now. Yeah. Yeah. So they're just, they're yelling cause they want to hear that one thing. But, uh, no, we, uh, sorry.

I wouldn't, I don't remember the old jokes. So I remember a couple of super old ones, but I don't remember Starbucks, the coffee. I just don't remember them because you just had to write new jokes. So no, I've not, you know.

Yeah, I mean, Charlie Murphy was on, like, the biggest show of our lifetime. One of the... Yeah, and his thing was quotes he said on that show. Yeah. So I think that makes sense for Charlie Murphy, John Witherspoon, all that, you know. I understand why. It's great that he did it. And that's how he should do it. Just come out and be like, just, yeah, go five minutes, you know. I worked with, not Tim Wilson, uh...

I'm just Biff from Back to the Future. Tom Wilson. Tom Wilson. And he comes out and sings a song off the top, answering every question, you know, about Biff from... Yeah. Was Michael J. Fox nice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that kind of stuff. So he kind of gets out of the way that way. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good way to do it. Dusty, you want to tell us about Factor? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

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I have heard on two episodes now Dusty mentioning people get mad at him for stacking papers. I'm wondering if it makes it hard for you to focus and be yourself when so many people's specific pet peeves are aimed directly at you. I try not to mention things like this even to my kids because I find it makes people feel a lack of freedom to be themselves.

I think maybe in the beginning of being a public figure that it would bother me, but at this point, wow. You know what I mean, though. I'm not saying, come on, guys. Who do you think you are? We're all public figures. I don't think Andrew Jackson ever said that about himself. Yeah.

You don't think that you're public figures, though? You don't say it. Oh, okay. You don't say anything. But what I mean is you're a person who's decided. How often do you tell people you're a public figure? That may be the first time I've ever said it. No, I think you tell a lot of people. I think you walk in and you go, I'm a public figure. That's what he tells Uber drivers when they go, what do you do for a living? Yeah, he goes, I'm a public figure. I don't think I'm a private figure.

Go ahead. But I think... Yeah. Brian's a figure. But I think that we... And he was dying for the public to know about him. They just won't listen. But public figure, I think, is better than saying, you know, a famous person or whatever. But you're like, you've put yourself on this. You say, now that some people know who I am, say something like that. Or just say I'm a comedian. But...

Is public figure not better than people know who I am? I mean, the Kardashians are public figures, I guess. But they are very famous people. Yeah. Being in the cultural zeitgeist, you know.

I just think that we've decided to put most of our lives on display. Sure. A-list celebrity. And so now people can call you out on everything you wear, everything you say, every word you pronounce. Every move you make. I'm not the most public of public figures. But as cultural tastemakers, we need to...

But it's like when you do a podcast like this, you can get immediately called out on things. Sure. And then the comments are secondary call outs. Yeah. And then we spend the whole half of the episode reading the comments of people. Yeah. And I stack a paper and then I say public figure. Then you guys mention it and then people will comment on it. And then, you know, now it's a thing. Yeah, it'll be a whole thing. Yeah. But I feel like you just got to let it roll, you know? You are the public figure of this. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, we're all, you know. You're who we send out. Yeah. Dude, I just pulled up your Wikipedia. Have you read your Wikipedia in a while? I think it's the bio. He was the youngest comedian to have ever performed at the Grand Ole Opry after having been eclipsed by fellow comedian Aaron Weber. He's widely renowned for his clear and crisp use of the letter T, often inserting this letter at the end of words with traditionally M with the letter D.

People don't know how to fully pronounce a letter these days. This is what I'm saying. This is the third line of your bio. When you're a public figure, this is what happens. This is what you have to deal with. Somehow people can just add whatever they want to Wikipedia.

He enlisted in the Army. Why don't you go ahead and list that I was supposed to go to the prom with Amber? That'd be hilarious if Amber's already on there. He bailed on Amber. That should be in there. Why didn't you go? You attended boot camp because of legal reasons? I don't know. Did it say that? Yeah. Well, that's not true. After high school, he enlisted in the Army, but did not attend boot camp. Oh. Due to legal reasons. Yeah, I got arrested. Yeah. Couldn't get chipped off. Wikipedia's spot on. Yeah. Hmm.

Due to legal reasons. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how Wikipedia even exists. And they always like, fund us, fund us. I'm like, defund Wikipedia. That's what I love. I love Wikipedia. Yeah, but...

You go to read my bio and you're like, he has a widely renowned for his clear and crisp use of the letter T. So you're trusting this site? Well, is that true? I think that's true. I don't think so. We've covered that. I think it's what you're known for. I don't think so, but people seem to think when I use the letter D, that's a T sound to them. I'm just pronouncing the full D. I saw a comedian the other night. How was he? Let me tell you something.

He had a clear, crisp pronunciation of the letter T. How often did he say the letter T? More than you'd think. Yeah. Bent. Yeah. I was bent over with laughter. Yeah. No, I used it the right way. I mean, that's a T, yeah. Yeah. I'm so glad you said public figure and not me. Can you bent over and grab me that? Yeah. Yeah. That's what they think I'm saying. Yeah.

But I say bend. Lift me a hand. Lift me a hand. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you're doing. That's what you're known for. Butt cake. Yeah. Bunt. That has had a T at the end. Yeah. Bunt. That's good. Public figure. People don't know how to pronounce words. And then they try to call me out. Who is this? Is this Matthew Powell? Yeah. Yeah.

Just Aaron's secret. It's me and you, Matt. We're in this together, buddy. These idiots don't even know what I'm talking about up here. All the little nuggets I'm dropping throughout this podcast, dude. Victoria Brown, looking for something fun to do in July. Here's a PSA for Shark Week on Discovery Channel. It is usually the third week of July every year, but was bumped up due to the overlap of the Olympics.

All right. Well, that's a good segue because today we are talking about sharks. Oh, look at that. Shark Week is this week. Come on, Victoria Brown, bring it in. What is Shark Week? Is it just something by the Discovery Channel or is it something larger than that? It's by and for sharks. I think people have been getting attacked by sharks just recently. There's been a lot of attacks. So sharks are starting to be like, this is our week. Yeah.

Yeah. There's been a lot of shark attacks. Only during Shark Week? Yeah. This is when they come out. But is Shark Week like Arbor Day or Labor Day? Do you know what Shark Week is? Yeah, but I didn't know if that came from something else. No, it just came from Discovery Channel. I understand what you're asking. It's become its own thing almost, but it's just Discovery Channel does a week on sharks. It's become just Discovery Channel. It's Shark Week.

Because you know Discovery Channel does Shark Week, so they do a week of sharks. Yeah, but I didn't know if they did that because it's a national day of shark observation. What day would we celebrate? I have no idea. We have a whole day for trees. Why don't we have a day for sharks? Because we don't need... The trees are different. Earth Day? We have Arbor Day, which is just trees. Oh, yeah, but no one even knows what arbor means tree. More people celebrate arbor tree than Shark Week.

I don't think so. I don't think they celebrate Shark Week because everybody thinks it's a TV. We're doing an episode on it right now. Because we have to talk about something. It's public figures. That's what we got to do. We need something. Yeah. We got to talk about something. Sharks might not like to because they become public figures. Right. They're like, all we're trying to do is eat down here. And they just want to blend in. But if you're a great white, you are like a great white. Yeah.

regular people are the other sharks, but you as a public figure is a great white because everybody's searching for you. Yes. So when you and a great white go to the DMV, you have to be like, hey, could you talk quiet? Exactly. And they go, why? Well, I'm a public figure. And people are trying to hear in on this conversation. I think you guys think public figure is bigger. Got some bottom figures. No, I don't think... I think everybody...

I think the person that's the public figure should not say I'm the public figure. That's the... I felt like that was the lower way to say it. That's the humblest way to say it. A good one, monster. These are weak matches, it says.

Luminary. That's a good one. Dignitary. Big wig. Big wig. Well, that's what I meant. You say I'm a celeb. I'm a VIP. Big shot. Yeah, that's what I meant. Top dog. I'm a star. I'm eminence.

What were the strong matches? There are no strong matches, dude. There is right there. Someone. Someone. Exactly. Yes. Heavyweight. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. So-and-so. You're notable. Someone. Yeah. Notable. Yeah. Notable person. Yeah. I just, yeah, I like. In the limelight. I'm someone out here. Yeah. Mogul. I would just say I'm a comedian. But there's a lot of comedians that no one knows. Yeah.

Yeah, but you just say, I'm a comedian. And then you go, since I became... And everybody does know. And it doesn't have to sound as gross. I do call you the top banana, very often. What about a high muckamuck? The big enchilada. Uh-oh, big kahuna's here. The big cheese just walked in the door.

The big cheese enchilada with a side of banana just came in. Talking about Shark Week, the holiday Shark Week. Go ahead. Of all the animals...

Do you notarize your own notary? Because you're a public figure. They go, do you need a notary? You go, I actually don't because I'm a public figure. A witness for myself. Yeah. I'm my own witness. This show is brought to you by Built Rewards. At some point, we've all felt that paying rent is kind of like setting your money on fire. We do not have the opportunity to help build credit and our rent payments don't work towards a future down payment automatically.

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Of all the animals, do you think people were more enamored with sharks than... Is shark an animal? Any other animal? I'll say it's an animal. Well, I was looking up something recently because it was... When they talk about sharks and... Because it's... I don't think you say fish, right? You don't say fish. What do you call a shark? I know, but it doesn't... Dolphins are mammals. Whales are mammals. Yeah, yeah. Whales are mammals. But then what is a shark? I know it's a...

Is it a fish? You don't really hear it. It's called shark. But it's different. That's all you say. But it's different than a fish. Yeah. But what kind of animal is it? I thought it was a fish. Yeah. We're off to the races here with the shark. Sharks are fish. Part of the subclass elasmo branch, which includes rays, sawfish, and skates. I think that is a perfect example of you, Dusty, because you fish, but they're kind of like...

I'm not, even though you're a human, you're like, I'm not like these other humans. Right. I am a public thing. I'm the top banana. That's right. Yeah. You're the big, big enchilada of humans. Yeah. And so that's how sharks are. Sharks are like, look, they're like a fish. They go, technically. Yeah. Sure. Sure. I'm a fish, but I'm a shark. You know what I mean? Dusty's like, listen, we're both vertebrates. Yeah. Yeah. Outside of that. Right. You know? Yeah. Yeah.

You know, I can't go to Walmart at noon. That's true. They're cold-blooded, they have fins, and they breathe with gills. So, you know, mammals breathe like a mammal. With lungs. Yes. Shark has gills. It's a fish, just a certain type of fish.

But you're right. I mean, in the sense that you don't think of sharks as, you think they're their own thing. Yeah. They're running the show down there. They're like Dr. Pepper. Yeah. Dr. Pepper's its own thing. That's right. And everybody thinks. Yeah. It's owned by Coke. Yeah. And they own Snapple too. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that. Sharks have no bones. Do you know that? I think I did. I think I knew that.

No bones. Do any fish have bones? I guess some do. Yeah. Yeah. Most of the fish do, I think. Probably because it gets wet. It's too wet to have bones. It's all cartilage, right? Yeah. It's too wet to have bones. And they have rows of teeth, right? Like if a tooth breaks, a new one just rolls in. Yeah. Great white sharks. That's right. Just an infinite amount of teeth there? I mean, I guess at some point they would run out, but you'd have to- 30,000 teeth in a lifetime. Yeah.

No. For great white sharks. They just keep growing? Yeah. And the teeth are cartilage too? Yeah. How could anybody ever know that? I think teeth are calcium. How could anybody on the earth ever know that they have 30,000 teeth? They count them.

There's no way. Well, I agree with that. Who could know? This goes back to the sample size. So you watch a shark for a year. Yeah. And then you go, how many teeth does it go through for a year? And then you go, a shark can live, I don't know how long they live. Then you expound on that. You know, you extrapolate. So they go...

They go 1,000 teeth a year. So they watch the shark. So if you go 1,000 teeth a year and they live 30 years, that's 30,000 teeth. How are you watching a shark even lose 1,000 teeth? How can you tell? First of all, these sharks all look the same. The teeth look the same, too. I don't think you're doing it in the wild. I think you have it in captivity. So you have it in a cage. Maybe they lose more teeth. Not necessarily a cage, but a controlled environment where you can keep an eye out. And you're just watching. And you tag them. You tag them, too. I know, but your teeth, so his teeth fall out. Mm-hmm.

You see it at the bottom. I guess you better only have one shark in there. So you got to have one shark in there. No, I don't think collecting teeth on the... I think you get the shark and then you look in its mouth and you see if it's missing teeth. I know, but then the new one comes in. So what if you missed... Who's looking in its mouth? I don't know. These guys, the shark teeth counters. Yeah.

What if it is that specific of a job? What do you do for a living? I think it would have to be. Because if you're going to throw out a 30,000 number, I think it has to be. That is a bold claim to make. I think that's better to be able to back it up. I think there's some intern and they're like, let's do a study on how many. But if you're then, you're like, so we're doing a lot of scientific decisions off interns.

But they're in the field. You think a lot of sharp-toothed counters have a lot of sharp-toothed jewelry? Yeah. Like a lot of necklaces with sharp teeth on them? I don't know. I bet they don't want to see it at the end of the day. I like to leave work at work. Yeah. Yeah. How many do they have at once? They go to Panama City and they go, no, thank you. They got more than 32, I'll guess. I'll take some conch shells. Yeah, I don't know.

It says their gums work like conveyor belt and teeth grow back almost instantaneously. You know what's funny is the episode is about sharks, and Brian says, I don't know a lot. I'm not making fun of you, but it is. I just made it funny because you go, what about this? You go, I don't know. I know. I just need to tell you my facts, okay? Stop asking me questions. Well, I just want to follow up on that. Most sharks have five rows of teeth. They can have as many as 3,000 teeth at once.

So that 30,000 number doesn't seem as crazy, right? They lose up to 100 per day. They lose up to 100 a day. So they have to have 3,000 at one time. So now you say 30,000 now. That doesn't sound crazy anymore, right? So it's 100. They lose up to 100 per day. Yeah. And they have 3,000. 3,000 at once. So they just watch the shark.

And then they go, he's losing these 100 teeth easy. How do they tell? This is the season. You count a shark's teeth, you let it live, and then you count it the next day. How are you losing so many teeth, though? You just eat it. Imagine if you did everything with your teeth. You have no hands. I don't lose anything. You've got to open doors with it. You've got to, you know. But this is on doors. You know what I'm talking about. You've got to do everything with it. They don't eat every day, probably.

I don't know. Yeah. That's a tough one to know. Who would have thought of that to look that up? Do sharks eat every day?

Brian Bates' Shark's Week is just, he goes, a week's going to be tough. He goes, let's do months. That's what his Shark Week episode is. Let's do one to two days. He goes, I don't know about a week. He goes, how much do they eat? I don't know. I don't know. I know a couple things.

Sharks can go days, weeks, months, and sometimes more than a year without eating. So what are they doing with their teeth? Yeah, you're losing a lot of teeth if you're not eating in a year. I don't know. Maybe you're eating your teeth. Let's just agree to disagree. Okay.

Sharks can't. That kind of kills the podcast. Now we're moving on from the teeth. Okay. Now I got one more. You think it's 30,000? I don't think so. I think you're out of your mind. I got one more thing about teeth. Sharks can't get cavities because they're coated with fluoride, their teeth. Well, and they lose them in two seconds. So that's probably more. Yeah. Why? You don't have time to build a cavity. Yeah. And why would they get cavities? They don't have candies coated with fluoride because that's what's in the water. Yeah. We've dumped all our fluoride in the oceans and that's why its teeth are covered in fluoride. Yeah.

That's why he's losing it. But they don't... 100 teeth a day. Don't cavities just come from candy? What would cavities come from? I don't know. Okay. Yeah. Don't believe the fluoride myth. I don't think that's why they... I think you just took it a step further than Nate was going. It's tooth decay that form in the hard surface of the teeth. It's sugars from food and drinks that produce acids that destroy tooth enamel. Okay. So it's from bacteria. Anything with sugar. Yeah.

Okay. Candy. So basically. Well, soft drinks. Oh, well, the sharks do have soft drinks. Do they have candy? No. That's why they don't get capped. But yeah, I thought we agreed that they don't have candy. But then soft drinks, I think they do. I bet they do regular Coke. Yeah. Dr. Pepper. Yeah. Oh, you're saying they can't get capped. Well, they're chum. I bet there's some sugar in chum. Could be. Yeah.

There might be some kind of sweet fish. I'm saying, where are they getting these cavities? If it's usually... That's a good point. Yeah. They don't have a... I bet it's just a fun fact they like to share. Well, they're just trying to brainwash on the fluoride. Most animals don't get cavities. Because their diets don't contain a lot of sugar or refined carbohydrates. See, I would like to say, this sounded insane when I said this, but it is... I am dead on. It's because they don't have candy. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

But it's not just candy that you get sugars and refined carbohydrates from. It's saying it is all sugar, though. That's candy. But the general idea is you get cavities from candy. It's saying it's sugar.

Which is... I like that they, it says they chew bones, sticks, and grasses to keep their teeth clean. I like that. That feels like the opposite of what we would do to keep our teeth clean. Like if you were chewing, if I came in and you were chewing bones and sticks, and I'm like, what are you doing? And you're like, I'm cleaning my teeth. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and they don't get cavities. See, that's what the fluoride thing, you're just throwing that in and you're like, well, they have fluoride in there. Yeah, but they're losing their teeth every day, so it doesn't really matter. Losing 100 teeth a day, but hey, no cavities, guys. Yeah, keep one of those teeth for 60 years, see if you get a cavity. Yeah, but I don't know if they will because there's no candy.

Yeah. Maybe they eat a person with candy. Yeah. Oh, the trash in the ocean and stuff. They're probably getting some sugar. 60 years on an American diet. Is sugar in plastic? No, I'm saying they're eating all kinds of not. You don't think you can get a cavity from plastic? No, it doesn't have sugar. Get some other stuff. That's right. That's right.

Female sharks tend to be larger than male sharks. That's why the population's down, because the males aren't wanting to reproduce. I made that part up. Oh, did you? I think with animals, it's that way a lot.

The animals, the females, are larger than the males. Name one other animal where that's the case. Well, I don't know if it's an animal, but like a spider. Spiders, the males are all, and the ants aren't always. Oh, there's the queen. Yeah. The queen's real big. Yeah. But is a normal female ant bigger than a male ant? No. But the one that breeds, the important one. The big one. Yeah. Yeah.

Humans kill 100 million sharks every year. Wow. 100 million? According to Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah. Yeah, that seems wrong. Yeah. I had a joke about it. Oh, okay. Yeah. Kind of launched my career. You've never heard that joke? It's a pretty good joke. He says, nothing fun. Yeah. There was a great... That's great, because I agree with you. If you told me to guess, the joke is if you told me to guess how many sharks were alive, I wouldn't have never said 100 million. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

100,000 maybe alive. Yeah, we kill 100 million a year. Throws it out there, no solution. Who does it? I mean, he says humans. Is it us? Is it America? Or is it other countries? I think it's America. It's the public figures of America. Yeah. I think it's most of our presidents. I would think America would be the- Our senators. Killing it the least. Yeah.

Maybe our cruise ships. I think we're the least... Yeah. Cruise ships? Do you think cruise ships just mow down sharks in the ocean? Sharks follow cruise ships around because they dump so much stuff off of them. So, wow. There you go. Sugar. Now they get cavities. There you go. So, maybe the sharks...

along the line of the carnival cruises like yeah I have cavities dentist all day long they see a lot of older sharks that that are not as good at hunting will just follow these cruise ships around and just eat the food they dump off

I don't know if they're dumping food off. I think they're dumping all kinds of things. I've worked in a kitchen. You just dump stuff outside. But I do not think the cruise ship is dumping their food in the ocean. I don't think so either. No, they wouldn't get away with that. You guys live in fantasy land.

We're dumping all kinds of stuff on that boat. No. Not publicly. What do you think they're doing with it? They're bringing it back and then they put it in a bag and do the right thing and send it out to the ocean. They do it legally. That's what, you know. Okay. I don't think they're like, hey, we're just going to do it on our own.

You don't think somebody in the kitchen of a Carnival cruise is like... I'm not saying stuff doesn't get thrown off, but I'm saying... Well, that's the whole discussion. I think they dump the waste and everything just right off the boat. No, no, no. They keep it, and then it goes out, and then they package it, then dump it. Yeah, they put it in the sewer system back at home, and then that dumps it to the ocean. Yeah, but they're not just... But they say that fish really follow the cruises around. Well, I... I would, too. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you can't blame them. Why would you, though, if they weren't dumping food off? Well, I'm sure food falls off. I think birds grab food. I think there's a lot of... FOMO? I mean, they're having fun up there. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff. What's FOMO? Fear of missing out. Oh, okay. You've never heard that? You've never had FOMO, have you? Nah. Yeah, you will now, though, now that you know the name of it. Yeah. That's the problem. Yeah. No one has it until they know the name of it. Then they're like, man, now I have it.

Let's just say you're never missing out too. Someone thinks they have FOMO. The older I get, the more you realize you're never missing out. Whatever is happening will happen again. Yeah. There's never going to be. The people it's happening to will forget about it and move on. They don't. Yeah. Especially nowadays. The idea of there is this fear of missing out nowadays even more, but no one's doing anything.

Even when people were like, this was so epic, you should have been there. It's like, you shouldn't have. Nah. You shouldn't have been there. Sharks can smell a drop of blood in the water. They can sense tiny amounts of blood in the water from three miles away. Wow. You believe that?

Mythbusters proved it. How did they prove it? They put a shark in a pool and they... A three-mile pool? No, but they can detect one drop of blood in up to 25 gallons of water. So they... Put it in a swimming pool and dropped a little blood. I believe that, though. I believe that that's their thing. And what did they do? It swam to the blood? Mm-hmm.

Well, it's going to swim there eventually if it's a pool, right? There's only so many places. You're right. You're right. I believe that's it. He's like, I want to go over to where everybody's standing because it was, again, FOMO. So the shark's like, well, I guess everybody's over here. And they go, look at that. I didn't go three miles out.

I think sharks are, it's the apex predator. I think it gets it. The blood's in the water. I'm like, I'm there. A drop of blood from three miles away? A drop of blood was 25 gallons of water, but a tiny amount of blood, whatever that is, was from three miles away. Okay. So, yeah. If my leg gets chopped off, three miles away, a shark's coming. That's going to be a lot of blood. You're calling all the sharks from three miles away. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow, that's a lot. That's a lot of sharks. In a three-mile radius of me in the ocean after I got thrown off a Carnival Cruise. Oh, yeah, and they get there quick. I don't think you get back on if you get thrown off. There was a kid that jumped off Carnival Cruise. Yeah, that was haunting. He died. Did he die? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, you don't get back. No, it's a crazy draw. I mean, it's just, you know.

That's so terrifying. There was a guy in the last year or so that fell off and treaded water for like 12 hours. Well, maybe try it then. And then died? No, no. They got him. Oh, well, there you go. How would they know he treaded water? Yeah. Well, I don't know. How do they know you can spill blood from three miles away? How does anybody know anything? Shark tank. Mythbusters. Have you ever heard punch a shark in the nose? Yes. That's a good idea. Say punch it in the gills. Oh.

Oh, there you go. Let's find the gills real quick in the ocean. Where are the gills on a shark? Side. Yeah. What do you mean, where are they? I don't know. That's basic. Because you find them right away. Shark coming at you, you go, well, obviously the gills are located in the posterior. Everything else is pretty tied up. Basic shark stuff. Yeah, that's not even. Have you ever seen the side of a shark? Okay, yeah, I guess. Look, they're pretty pronounced. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you got to get around his mouth, but...

Sounds like a guy that... That one's got a Bates face on. Yeah. How do you... So it's coming at you, shark, and you got to just punch it around the side. It's got it on both sides? Yes. Are you... Do you not know? It's like a Pittsburgh Steelers helmet. Do you not know about sharks having both sides? I'm just trying to... Did you not know that? Like, is this... This is, I think, the disconnect between college and not college.

Now, I think it's just entertaining Matthew Powell, right? That's right, dude. Is it? Yeah, Matthew Powell does it. Look, once you see a picture of a shark, yeah, obviously the gills are right there. But I didn't know it was top of my head. I didn't know they were that easy to find. How is it not top of your head? Do you not... Maybe, but could it be, education-wise, y'all don't really...

deal with sharks that much where the less educated is like we're on sharks you're gonna have to interact with animals a lot yeah yeah we're doing human stuff yeah yeah that is true yeah you're like the oceans you're going to

ain't sharks you know but where we were going they're like yeah y'all you will have to fight a shark you're out there with the animals yeah i'm very secluded in college they're like you're gonna all of you will fight a shark stingrays stingrays yeah whatever yeah so what are you supposed to punch it in the gills why in the gills is that a sensitive spot it's a soft spot i think it's just give it your best show yeah try to get in there try to nose they said it's too close to the mouth

Yeah. Okay. Try to rip a gill. Well, the swing in your hand is, you know. But if you have good aim, the nose is the place to punch it. I bet you could. You said it's too close to the mouth, but if I'm really good. I think they said the gills is a softer spot.

spot than the nose my guess is you're not gonna have a lot of options when you're getting attacked i said try both yeah you're getting attacked try it try the eyes try just start wailing on it see what happens i think i told this before but there's a guy from lebanon that i knew his family and he was at panama city and he got his leg bitten off yeah and then i think he wrote into the podcast i think he either listens or someone yeah i remember that it's crazy craig huddoe

There's a great white shark that they did. Did you get his autograph? I would like to. I would love that. On your life. Did you have him sign Jaws, the movie? I didn't know what to have you sign. There's a great white shark named Lydia that they tagged, and she swam from Florida all the way to Europe. Wow.

But she was lost. She was trying to get to South Carolina. Really? No. I was going to say, she was really lost. That's where they go to, you know, they said the ocean's this big. How these sharks could even do this in a lifetime? Yeah. If the, you know. All the teeth are going through. Mm-hmm. Why did they go to just migraine because of temperature?

I don't know. They're on their own. They're just doing their own thing, man. Do sharks travel in packs? I don't think great whites do. Killer whales do. There's a great white named Deep Blue that's the largest shark ever documented. And there was a video of her from a few years ago where an oceanographer swam beside her and touched her. I think I sent you a video. But anyway, that's good too. Where's the Deep Blue shark?

Largest shark ever recorded? Yeah. Look at this thing. It's tough to tell how big it is, really. It's tough to really reach around and get the gills on this thing. Well, I think you're in trouble. You just got to hope it's not going to get you. If Deep Blue comes for you, you're in trouble. If a shark that they've named comes up, you're done. I think that shark's so big that it's not coming to you. Yeah, they said it has never been aggressive.

I think it just knows I can do whatever I want. I think it's been aggressive, but in its younger years. It's got a past. Yeah. Well, now it's a public figure. So it just knows. I don't want to get canceled. Yeah. And I think the shark knows that.

20 feet. There's a school bus. That's what I mean. That's so big. I tried to do that as a joke. Shaq. The well joke. But they should be like, well, get this shark and get a school bus and lay it on top of it so I can wrap my head around it. When they tell... I tried to do a joke about this. They should do it with a well, like the blue well. Throw it on a football field. Get one. Just one. One time.

Throw it on a football field, put it on the news, then we go, okay. And then we all go, oh, okay. Yeah. Now I can imagine. And then we'll all appreciate it more. Yeah. You just got to sacrifice one. But even when they do this and they're like, there's a school bus, you're like, yeah, I'm not getting it though. I don't get it. I was like, I need to... Something might be on you though. I mean, that's pretty obvious. I know, but it's... Yeah. Let me see it next to... Stan Shaquille O'Neal next to this shark, just so we can see it. Yeah, just so you could like...

But, yeah, if you're going to do this, get a giraffe out there, get a school bus, get a shack, have Shack be available, have it on a football field, do all the things, and we go, this is the real, so you can go, ooh, all right. Also, like, why use a seven-foot-tall guy, though? Like, let's use a, you know, five-foot-nine guy, so we got a real average height of feel for it. Somehow the comparison to Shack is more interesting to me.

Because that's our go-to big guy. Is that Shaq right there? Yeah. He's seven foot? Mm-hmm. He's taller than seven foot. Seven, four, seven, two. Seven, two, seven, four. You're right. Instead of saying seven foot, it should say Shaq. I'll tell you what, a school bus is longer than I thought it was. 30 feet. Yeah. 30 feet. Maybe not. Well. I'll stop. Yeah.

So Discovery Channel, the Shark Week's been around since 1988. And it's obviously grown over the years. They've had different hosts. Josh Wolfe hosted it for a couple of years. Did he really? Comedian Josh Wolfe. The Rock did it a couple of years ago. Of course. Jason Momoa did it last year. This year's John Cena. Going for big guys now. But to your thing about that...

A few years ago, there was some controversy because they said, we're going to have Michael Phelps race a shark. Do you remember this? Yeah. And it was a big lead up and everybody's like, oh my gosh, this is going to be so awesome. And they did it, except it was CGI. He swam and then they did a shark, CGI shark beside him. And people got upset about it because they thought they were misled. Yeah. But I think they just didn't hear what they...

I mean, I think it was definitely marketed to make you think this was a real race. Yeah. I don't think so. I think it was. He went on Jimmy Fallon and said, it's not going to be real. I think the whole time they... But I mean, but you got to realize when you do this stuff, people are... A, I don't think he's keeping up with that shark like he is. I don't think so either. Does he beat the shark? No, he loses by like two minutes. Yeah. And he's wearing some...

some fins. No, right there. It looks like it gets pretty close. Finish two seconds behind the simulated great white. Well, that's, I don't know if that's even true.

So you're already done. But why even... You understand the confusion. Why even make this an event? Just CGI a shark next to him at the Olympics. Yeah, yeah. You made it a big... That was the reason. And they should be ashamed. Because people don't realize is... You could go do all the interviews. You're like, well, most people are not going to catch all the interviews. They're going to just see... The headline. The headline that gets everybody in and then they go whatever. And then so they do think like, I don't know how they're going to do this, but...

I guess they're going to, but I mean, I don't think there's no way Michael Phelps is even, even with the fins. I agree. By two seconds. I think you would win Dusty. Well, yeah. You're like the great white barely wins. Of course I would. Now, when are you, are you going to swim in the actual ocean at some point, Brian? Are you built working your way up to there? No, I doubt that. Um,

I just, I agree. I don't think he even comes close to being the shot. Great White swims 35 miles an hour. Yeah. Michael Phelps, I think, topped out at eight miles an hour. So like, what are we doing here? Yeah, it's, that was ridiculous. But the fins help him.

Yeah. He had to help. Yeah. But without fins, it's six miles per hour. So like, yeah. Yeah. So I don't think he's getting to 30. Yeah. 29 miles. If that's true, I want one of those fins. Yeah. Cause that's pretty awesome. Yeah. That was, uh, yeah, that's, uh, that's insane. That, you know what? That is a shame that they did that. Cause that's crazy. Then you're, that is insane. If it's that clip saying he won, he, uh,

Yeah, I think I'd be more upset about the fact that they were like, the shark's like, well, two seconds off. Two seconds. It'd be almost the whole thing. And he can swim sideways like that? Maybe the shark. I don't believe he swims sideways like that. And he's coming up for air. Yeah, come on. You swim sideways like that? I don't think so. Yeah. There's just no way. He's got to come up for air and then go...

I don't know if he's in the ocean, to be honest. Yeah, that's a lake. Yeah, it could be. Yeah, I don't know if I believe any of this. Why is the shark jumping like that? Sharks don't. Well, it's really insane. This was part of Shark Week? Yeah. It was a big thing because it was like, he's going to race a shark. So it's one of those that everybody's like, you know, watching a guy jump off the Grand Canyon. And then you're like, well, he's not going to technically jump off there. You know, it's like that's basically what happened.

a guy that's like when they if you have a guy that's gonna uh yeah i mean if you had a guy that was gonna uh you know walk across the tightrope the grand canyon and then but then you watch it and he has a thing attached to him you're like well now you're not watching it yeah did that happen they just did it i think and i think they he didn't want to have something attached but i think they were like you have to have something attached and which is pretty funny that

it's old tv they would be like yeah we're they would let like they just go yeah let them try it yeah but now they're like no dude you have to have something attached so i think he went across of it with something attached but it's just like meaning that if he fell off he would be caught yes yeah yeah but it's just it's enough that you go i mean we want some we want some stakes yeah yeah and

And that's kind of it. And so, but I think they, he was like, he walked across the Grand Canyon on a tightrope or something and you kind of don't watch it. You watch it for a second and you're like, yeah, it doesn't, I don't know. It's like, it sounds bad. Yeah, there is no risk. It sounds...

Well, that's the thing, though. We like the excitement. You're like watching. You're like, this guy could really die right here. But then you have a little thing on it. You're like, oh, he could just get kind of hurt. Yeah. Yeah. But obviously, you can't televise it if a guy might die. I don't think there's a problem with it. Well, you just don't have the camera go down. Yeah, cut the feed. He fell. All right, here's an episode of Seinfeld. Yeah. He has...

He's the finale of MASH. Oh, okay. I wonder what happened to that guy. He just ran on a three second delay. Yeah. Baby Shark is the most popular video on YouTube of all time. I've contributed to that a few times myself. There's many versions, but this one right here is 14 billion. The Pinkfong one is really good. It's

Yeah, I mean... Yeah. That's where the kids get it, and they got like a little bit of a beat to it. Yeah. I always think with this YouTube stuff, these numbers, I always like... I agree. Something's just crazy to me. I don't trust it. Except ours. Our numbers are real. But here's what I would tell you. Our numbers... No, mine are too low. Yeah. Well, I would say our numbers are...

I always thought that with my Instagram. My Instagram, now it's over a million, but it was a very slow buildup. But I always felt mine were honest followers. There were actually people that were actually following. Because then you would see some that jump up where it's this crazy thing, and you're like, well, I don't know if I believe that. Because if it is what it is, some of these numbers, you're like, the person shouldn't be able to walk out. They shouldn't be able to walk out of their house without being mobbed.

Like, and so, I mean, look, it might have 14 billion views, but it's like, what is this being measured off of? I think it's just some of these, I think it's, yeah, these are funny. I think it's just like,

A kid will watch it over and over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, what's the view? So, what's that, like, what's that, you know? I mean, because that's the hard thing for comics is people put a lot of stuff into this and they go, but what's that even translating to? Like, it's like your honest views are the ones you, the ones that people are going to actually show up. Do you think this kid can sell tickets? No. No, I don't think so.

You don't think the Baby Shark live show is going to sell some tickets? My daughter has Baby Shark toys. She's probably watched this a million times. They've merchandised it, so it's official Baby Shark merch.

Oh, yeah. Not just a shark that you call Baby Shark. No, it plays the song. I believe this thing has 14 billion views, like in the scheme. I'm really talking about YouTube numbers. Yeah, yeah. But it's like you want to go, well, what does that mean? Like that's, you know, how many people on Earth? Eight billion. Yeah. I mean, so you're like, what is that? So the 14 billion of this Baby Shark.

People have kids, but I mean, are they in Africa listening to Baby Shark? Maybe. Yeah, they changed the animal, but yeah. Yeah, Baby Cheetah. Yeah.

Well, there's, yeah, I know you're joking, but there's no sharks in Tennessee, but we still. That's true. That's true. Although the Mississippi River, remember we talked about that? We had a shark attack in Memphis. Well, Dusty pointed out that it skipped Memphis because the shark was just like, I'm going to keep going. Yeah. It was a rough area. I want to say Oklahoma, a shark has made it up to Oklahoma. How'd it get there? Just through the river. That might be an alligator I'm thinking about. It's still kind of crazy. Yeah. I think an alligator's made it up there.

Kind of crazy. Jumping the shark. You guys know that phrase? Yeah. Yeah. The funny thing about that came from episode of Happy Days where Fonzie jumps a shark. That was season five. That show lasted 11 seasons. Oh, so they jumped the shark early. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what? Do you know jumping the shark, where it came from? Well, I guess it came from Happy Days, but I don't know. So there was an episode where Fonzie gets dared to

uh, to jump a shark on water skis. Okay. And I read the only reason they even did this because Henry Winkler was a really good at water skiing. So like this ride, a whole episode where he has to do something on water skis. So he jumps the shark. Then it got coined as when a show is right out of ideas, it's jumping the shark. I,

becomes a parody of itself. Yeah, okay. And it was actually, but when they, it was actually jumping a shark. But they did it season five and it ran for 11 years. So they're saying it was out of ideas, but they went on for six more years. Yeah, yeah. And we jumped the shark episode 100. You are the shark. When you're just trying anything. Yeah. Jump the dusty. Yeah. Add the dusty. Yeah, let's get that going. Yeah.

Now, your podcast has different seasons, right? Yeah. Like your own season four. Yeah, my podcast, it's like when I quit doing it and then decided to come back and do it again, it'll be a new season. There you go. That's what I do. Well, let me tell you this. Like a Curb Your Enthusiasm, but not...

No one knows about it. Yeah, well, it's a public podcast. It is a public... Well, you are a public figure. If you're trying to buy last minute tickets for a public figure like Dusty or the Savannah Bananas, which Laura just went to see last minute.

Did you go? I did not. I was in town, but Laura and Harper went to the Savannah Bananas in Nashville. It's supposed to be awesome. Yeah, they loved it, and she used Game Time. Yeah, she used Game Time, the last-minute tickets. Are they like the Globetrotters kind of for baseball? Yeah. I watched some on TV. Yeah, they were on TV the other day. Yeah. I thought they, yeah. Go ahead. Well, Game Time makes getting tickets for concerts and events like that faster and easier, even...

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I thought Savannah – I saw like an article on ESPN, but it said something. I just saw Savannah and then Bananas, then pitcher, and who. And I thought, are they – is there something that said who's pitching tonight? Here's who's pitching tonight for Savannah Bananas. I was like, is ESPN covering this like it's a real –

I mean, I was like for a second so mad. I was like, that's like the Harlem Globetrotters being like, you know, you're like tall, you know. They covered WWE though. Yeah, but I feel like they loosely covered WWE. Like it's, they're just trying, I think, do they own WWE now or something? So it's like they're, you know, the...

Everybody knows that the WVs... They don't have a panel analyzing it like they do an NFL game or something. No, no. I'd watch that. Yeah. But they go... But I think they're... Yeah, but I thought it was not that. It was like showing you like a funny thing from Savannah. Okay. But I mean, I just... For a second, I was like... They're just like, well, who's pitching to Savannah? It's like, does that even matter? No.

I don't know if there's even rules. Are these guys still trying to make it professionally? No, I think this is a... I watched a clip of a guy, the guy that created it, but it was...

I think they just kind of can't. I assume it's like a Harlem Globetrotters kind of thing. So I think guys do it. And for the AA, when they come in, I mean, it sells out. The ticket is insane. Yeah, they sell out everywhere now. It's one of the hardest tickets to get when they come to a town because everybody wants to go and they do a whole. Banana ball is what it's called when they play. And the best rule is that if a fan catches a foul ball, it counts as an out.

in the game. So that gets everybody. Everybody wants to catch a foul ball. Now it impacts the game. There's been games that have ended on somebody in the crowd catching it and the place goes nuts. That's fun. Just if Savannah's on the field? I don't know how that works. Yeah. Do they win every time? I don't think so. And does the pitcher serve it up like the Washington Generals? It's like a mix of...

They're doing dances and stuff, but they're still playing. They're still pitching it real. I saw one where they had like... One play they had like, I don't know, six or seven pitchers on the mound at one time. Yeah. Like, I don't know. It's like only one person has a ball. Yeah. Stuff you can't do in a real game. Yeah. But it's banana ball rules.

rules yeah it looks like fun because if the other team this guy just is good just mowing everybody down i think there's there's there's a few teams now in the banana ball league oh i see yeah like the party something i don't know i got you they've got a whole league going it's fun uh i thought i'd end maybe just on shark movies other than jaws yeah uh i saw a very funny uh

meme that said the mayor in Jaws 1 was still the mayor in Jaws 2. That's why voting at local elections is important. I don't know the movie as well. Well, the mayor wanted to keep the beach open. It was a holiday weekend. People were dying and these guys were like, there's a shark out there killing people. He was like, no, no, no. It's just an accident. Just keep the beach open. So multiple people

died because the mayor didn't want to close the beach. That sounds like a mayor I would vote for though. Like a mayor that's like, nah, we're staying open. No matter what, you swim at your own risk. The beach is open. Okay. I mean, it's kind of true. You go, then don't get in the water. I like that mayor. I vote for that mayor every time. Now they go, everything's fine, but the beach is closed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Meg. Yeah, we saw that.

Megalodon, that was a real thing back in... Is that Jason Statham? Yep. Does he fight the shark in that movie? Basically. Hits it in the gills? Punches it in the gills. I want to see it. I like Jason Statham. This is how big the Megalodon's teeth were. Look at that. You're not going through 30,000 of those bad boys. What about Sharknado?

Yeah, I didn't even mention Sharknado. I remember when that first came out on Sci-Fi Channel. Everybody talked about it because it was just so ridiculous but in a fun way. Now they've done multiple Sharknados. I think there's been six, it says.

I'm guessing Lindsay Lohan is not in all of them. Yeah, I feel like it's a funny... It was a very funny thing they could have done. I think you go, hey, we're going to do three, maybe three, at least two. And they were doing one. If it takes off, then we'll do more. But it's like when they go six, you're like, well, now you're taking advantage of your fans. To me, honestly, you're like, all right, well, don't be... Now you're being ridiculous. I like to think they're around a pitch table, and then they go. They pitched all their ideas, and then somebody goes...

You just want to do another Sharknado? Yeah. I think if the first one's so ridiculous, why not just keep doing ridiculous? I know, but I think it's like, but, but. Let's do one more. It's the reason, it's the reason Seinfeld stopped after nine seasons. Yeah. Because it can, it becomes a thing forever. Well,

Well, if you do six of them, now it doesn't become a thing forever. But if you did one and you said, that's it, maybe two. But even if you did one and you go, it was this huge hit and it was just funny, you're now this cult classic like that America Horror Show thing.

like where they're showing you for the rest of time, people are going to watch this at midnight. Rocky Horror Picture Show? Rocky Horror Picture Show, yeah. So like people are doing this forever. But now they made six of them and you're like, well now, who cares? The first sentence of the plot of this movie, with the earth completely devastated from the global Sharknado swarm,

finn shepherd and his adult son gill time travel to the crustaceous period in a bid to change the future and undo the destruction so it's like by six you're like all right maybe they go back in time and stop the first five movies sounds like a good plot yeah yeah it was like i think they did it and they're like yeah it's this could be like ridiculous and over the top yeah

But it's like, yeah, when you're doing six of them, it's like that's the problem, dude. Like don't – like back off and go – I'm sorry. However, the time vortex instead leads to medieval Camelot.

they meet Merlin who reveals he's been helping the past. I mean, Benjamin Franklin is in it. I honestly, reading this makes me kind of want to get into the Sharknado series. They destroy a Sharknado with George Washington and Benjamin Franklin. I mean, yeah, I got to see how this shapes up. We're on board. You're going to watch this before Shawshank is going to. Yeah, but I think you want to watch one. Let's do a Sharknado marathon. Yeah. I'd,

I think you want to watch one of these. I think that's about, I think you'd watch one, definitely go to two. And then you're, then you start being like, well, I don't know what else. I don't know if I can do this again. It's kind of like tremors. I've tremors has like six or seven tremors movies and I've seen about five of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, do two of them. Yeah. I mean, this, the first one was the only one that's good.

Have you seen Open Water? No, it terrifies me. Yeah. That was a great one. Loosely based on a true story. Yeah. Now, Open Water, that's why it's like that kid jumping off the cruise. I mean, that stuff terrifies me. You're just out there, man. Yeah. Just the boat. Just imagine being out there. It's dark. And then you just cruise ship.

I mean, even the middle of the day, I've been in the ocean on a pontoon boat, and we jump off. I don't think those go in the ocean. Well, just like the bay or whatever. Not in the waves, but just kind of out there. It was in Charleston. It was a pond. They have a pontoon boat ever in the ocean? In the bay? I don't know. We were in a large body of water. You've never been in a lake. It was saltwater.

But it was like a bay. Regardless, it was a large body of water and you couldn't see the bottom. And we're just out there in the daytime and it's fun. But it's also like, what's under me? Everything. And then take the boat away and it's nighttime. That's terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. Terrifying. That was sharks. That was sharks. Does that scare you? Oh, terrifying. Yeah, absolutely. I'm terrified of water.

All right. Uh, yeah, I'm going, I'll be in, uh, Paso Robles fair there. The, uh, great outdoors festival. There's like a few of them. They're all in Canada. I want to say I'm going to London and Winnipeg, then Bismarck, uh,

got Minnesota fair. The be funny tour is, uh, basically done. I, if you come to these shows, I mean, I do not have a new hour or anything I'm doing, uh, the rest of this year. If you had shows out, I mean, I'll probably be working in some new jokes, but the general idea, I will not have a new hour until the next, till I have till the special airs. So I just have some sporadic dates from here on out. Uh,

Yeah, Vegas, like, you know, some stuff like that. But, in general, the tour's done. We're off for a good... It'll be done for a while. And then, yeah, next. Congrats, man. Thank you. Record-breaking tour. Yeah. Breaking records everywhere. Pretty crazy. It was crazy, yeah. Thank you to everybody that came out to every... I mean, it was unreal. Pretty wild. It was definitely a wild tour. We had a lot of fun. And can't wait to do it again, you know? So...

Yeah, but it'll be a year before we ever really get going. So, yeah. But thank you, everybody. It was unbelievable. And to the shows that we have coming up, I can't wait to do them. A lot of fairs, Minnesota State Fair. That was a huge one. That was a huge fair. Yeah. One of the best in the country. Yeah, yeah. July 27th, I'm at Allie Ray's in Knoxville, Tennessee. Come see me there. July 30th, 31st at Off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida. Yeah.

And August 1st at Boca Black Box in Boca Raton, Florida. Oh, nice. Yeah. Florida this time of year. Yeah. This weekend, Saturday night, Lake Forest, Illinois at the Gorton Center. It's a small theater I'm doing. So come on out. That'll be fun. And then next weekend, July 18th through the 20th, Cincinnati, Ohio, Commonwealth Sanctuary. It's technically in Dayton, Kentucky, but it's Cincinnati. It's right across the river. Yeah.

So come on out this weekend and next. Well, I've taken some time off in July a little bit from the road. The second half of the year is going to be packed out. This weekend, though, this week on Wednesday when this podcast comes out, I'm going to do Zany's Comedy All-Stars, a showcase at Zany's. It'll be fun. I'm just on the lineup, but come see it. And then this weekend, I'm going to do three shows at the opera.

I'll do Friday, Saturday, Sunday at the Grand Ole Opry. Awesome. Part of the showcase. And then next weekend, I'm going to open for Alabama and Gary Allen at Bridgestone. Oh, wow. I'll be on that show with them. It's going to be very fun. And then I'll be in Richmond, Virginia. Two sold-out shows on Saturday already, and then we added a Sunday show. Wow. Yeah.

What a hot show at the Opry this weekend. Yeah. John Conley, Vince Gill, Sister Hazel, Martina McBride. John Hardy. Dusty Slay. Rhonda Vincent, the Queen of Bluegrass. Yeah. You open for Alabama, that's like old school. Yeah. Yeah. And Gary Allen, who I'm a big fan of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, these are country people that I really like. Yeah. That is a hot shot. What are you doing? Going out? How much time do you, do you know how much time you're doing? I don't know yet, but I am on the bill. So it's not like, it's not like I'm just in, yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm listed on there. So, yeah. So you probably first, I guess. I would think so. Yeah. I actually hope I'm first. Yeah.

I don't want to go music, comedy, music. Do you know them? I've met one guy from Alabama. I don't know him. Yeah. I don't even know his name, to be honest with you. But I met him, and he's very nice. Mr. Alabama. Well, there's three of them. One passed away, and then there's Randy Owen. And then there's Randy Owen, who's the main guy. And then I met the other guy. Who's been with him since the beginning. He's very good. Like the three tenors. But he ain't Randy. He ain't Randy, yeah. Yeah.

All right. Well, also, happy birthday, Harper. Her birthday is today. Happy birthday, Harper. It's actually Monday, the day we're recording this, July 8th. But we had a great birthday party this weekend, and 12 years old. All right. I don't like it.

All right. Love you. See you. I won't be here next week, but I'll be after that. So see you. See you then. They will be. Y'all will be here next week. It's going to be hot. Aaron Land's back next week, dude. There will be a public figure in the building. There will be. Three of them. Yeah, that's right. Well, one that will call himself that. Something less public than us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Local public. Yeah. All right. Local public.

Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast. Amazon Pharmacy presents Painful Thoughts.

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