207: #207 Gambling feat. Greg Warren
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All right. Today's episode of the Nate Land podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp, Chime, AG1, and Helix.

Okay, welcome to the Nateland Podcast. My name's Dusty Slay and I'm here with these wonderful comedians, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and Greg Warren. Hey guys. Special guest today, Greg Warren. Proud to be here. Yeah. I am. I am loving it. Yeah. I know you don't like folks, but you got to say hello. Oh yeah. Hello folks and hey bear. Hey.

He emphasizes it in a different way. I thought you nailed it. Thank you. I like to really try to pronounce it. There's a running theme I read in the comments that people say I end every word with the letter T. And I don't notice it, but... I don't agree with that. Do you think about it now? That.

But, you know, I do think about it sometimes, but especially when a word does end with a T and I go, oh, I really heard it there. But they say you say it, especially on words that end with D. OK, I think what they're hearing is me fully pronouncing the letter D.

You know, I'm really sound. What about, uh, Albert stat? Yeah. Keith Albert stat. Yeah. He's got a D and a T right at, right there at the end. Yeah. Yeah. So I say two T's right at the end. Yeah. You sound like porky pig. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah. And I have, you know, I don't like the word folks as much. I don't like calling people folks. I don't mind it. People, you know, I don't mind. Hello, folks. But I feel like folks is a bit of a weird word. Yeah, man. But it's I mean, it's kind of.

trademark here right you got to do it but i call them podcast people podcast people and that sounds pejorative yeah i would say it's a little more clinical it feels like folks you do sound like a politician trying to be blue collar that's what i mean folks listen come on folks yeah you're like all right dude yeah yeah

Yeah. It's how people that don't know how to talk to people try to talk to people. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They got – a consultant was like, listen, you're real stiff and you went to an Ivy League college. Right, right. These morons are not going to respond to that. So you need to dumb it down. How do I get them on my side? What do I say? Well, you say things to calm folks or something like that. Yeah.

It's like... Speak slow. It's like in 2020, when Joe Biden had the no malarkey tour, it felt like he had a young person trying to make him sound old. No malarkey? Yeah. Yeah, I think that was all him. I mean, I think, you know, and to be honest, I'm not...

I don't care for malarkey. I don't. And I'm the oldest guy here and I don't care for it. I don't like the word or actual malarkey. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't care for either of those. Yeah. Yeah. Don't be messed up. Mike Malarkey. They did not have a guy. No way. It was not Mike Malarkey. That's Malarkey. Wasn't me.

There he is right there. Like malarkey. How about that? He's fired. He's fired though now though. Yeah, they've hired Bill Shenanigans. Stephen Horseplay. He's Native American. This podcast is hot. Yeah, we're off to the races. Real hot.

I've had a lot of coffee today and I feel packed up. You are, Jack. I like that shirt. I had some tea. Yeah, thank you. I went two teas, which I don't normally, kind of like the way you say Albert Simpson. Yeah, yeah. Two teas. How I end every sentence. Yeah, I had an emperor's cloud. But I just pronounced the T in sentence. You put a T at the end. I don't think I said sentenced. Sentenced.

I think you did. No, that would be. Rewind the tape, guys. In the past tense. Yeah, no, I thought you said it great. Yeah, thank you. I thought you hit that middle T pretty hard. I like to sound out the T's, and I think that's not what people are used to. People are used to a lot of silent T's. I've never noticed that thing, but what I have noticed, and I pointed it out, I'm surprised nobody else has picked up on it. My favorite Dusty is when you say a city,

You say it as if you've already said a different city in the same state and you're trying to differentiate the city. So, for instance, I would go, I'm going to Columbus, Ohio. And you would go, I'm going to Columbus, Ohio.

You always say that. That's the way you say every city. From Opelika, Alabama. And then I go up to Nashville, Tennessee. Like right before somebody said, so Dayton? You go, Columbus, Ohio. But Toledo? Well, I'll be paying attention. Because we're going to be saying some cities soon. Oh, yeah. I can't wait. Start plugging the No Malarkey Tour. You're going to be naming a lot of cities on there.

I should do the all malarkey tour. Only malarkey. Yeah. Just nothing but malarkey. Yeah. And then you get some complaints like this show is malarkey. Well, ma'am, you didn't read the description. It's all malarkey. This is what we're going for. If anything, your complaint should be that there was some non-malarkey. Even the intro when they bring you up, man. Yeah. They're fumbling it. Yeah. They got a slide whistle going. Yeah.

I'd love to get on that tour. Yeah. The propeller hat on. Just all malarkey.

Monkeys running around. This sounds like a good tour. It does. It does. You know what? I'd like to be part of that if you get that off the ground. Yeah. A little circus piano out there. However that's due. Just trying to juggle and you can't do it. It's just malarkey. I'm like, I never could juggle. That's why it's malarkey. Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about. Oh, that rules. Greg was telling me about how other comics this weekend were talking about how they're getting show produced by this big comic or that big comic and blah, blah, blah. And then he made a joke to the other comics. Well, my special is being produced by Brian Bates. And I'm like, well, Greg, are y'all just am I the running joke even behind the scenes? Yeah.

I mean, it was Stephen. Somebody said... I didn't think it was as funny as these guys. Listen, man. All right. First of all, it killed. It was so funny. Yeah, it killed every time. Somebody said they were getting their special produced by a couple heavy... It was like Nate and Brian Regan side filmed or something. And it was going around the room and people were... And I just...

I was trying to think one, I was trying to think of a name that everybody in the room knew. Okay. Uh, and then there was some New York guys and I had this, another friend there. So I said his name and I said, I said, well, actually Bates is producing my special and it killed. Okay. And, and then I saw you, uh,

And I felt the need to confess it to you because I was taking a shot. I wasn't taking a shot at you, man. It kind of felt like it. But I knew the room. I knew the room. Okay. And I was like, what's the right- You knew your audience. What's the right name of a guy that's- It was perfect, dude. Let's say that's not Seinfeld. Okay. Who's the opposite of Seinfeld? I'm not saying the opposite. Those jokes are the hardest, you know, because you're like, I know I shouldn't say it, but it will get it. Yeah. Respect the kill, dude. You know what?

And that's why I told you, because afterwards I was like, man, I kind of threw Bates under the bus there. So you get ahead of it and let me know. Yeah. I mean, it was going to get around. It was because it was that good of a joke. Heard you're producing Greg Warren's special. I mean, there was some bragging going on and I was like, yeah, Bates is producing. He's coming in all the way on this deal. Yeah.

Well, I love it. I'm the punchline, even though I'm not there. Yeah. I mean, yeah. The way you got to win it though, is you got to start producing specials and be very good at it. That would be, yeah, man, that would be getting back at me. And then, and you'd be, and you know what, Greg, now, now I'm not producing. And then you wouldn't. Yeah. And then not produce his or any of those guys in there that laughed at me. Yeah. Yeah.

That's how you're going to show. We were talking about some comics before the show. I'm going to start producing theirs. Oh, yeah. I'd love it. Well, one of them. Good luck. I don't know any of these people. There's a lot of opinions on them. It got a little heated. And it was. I'm just defending. Yeah. Just defending my people. But it was fun. It was a good time. We were trying to get Greg to talk a little trash on the road. But he's the nicest guy of all. We kept calling him St. Greg. No. Apparently not. Well, Bates. Bates is a fair name. Yeah.

That's the free space on the bingo board. I am not a saint and I've done a lot of things in the world that I'm not proud of. In that particular instance, I didn't want to throw anybody under the bus. I get it. I respect that. And later on, I think, you know,

The second half of the tour that you weren't on, I did think of a person or two that I didn't care for their act and I shared it. Oh man. Yeah. So I'm not going to say it. This doesn't want to be put on the spot. Yeah. I get it. I had to do some real soul searching. Yeah. Would we know them? Sure. You can find it. I mean, there's a lot of comics that I don't care for their act. It's harder for me to find ones that I don't like. Yeah. But their acts. Yeah. Lots of them. Yeah. There's most comics. And I can tell you what there's,

We can go back not that long ago and I can show you some sets of mine and I'll be like, I do not care for that guy's accent at all. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. I've been there. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I can look at some real old sets of mine and I'm like, what, how did this even pan out? Who saw anything in this? Yeah. Yeah. I can see some of the laziness in the writing too. It's like, this was not a terrible idea. And you went with the third idea.

The third, the third...

If you'd have just sat down for another 45 minutes. Is my set or yours? No, mine. Okay. No, no, no, no. This is Bates. He's still talking about me? I never once said anything negative about your company. This is a dry bar that he's talking about. I just said as a producer, you know, I juxtaposed you with Jerry Seinfeld and Nate and Brian Regan. It was the contrast that was funny. Yeah. Yeah. And

And I got to be exactly. I just want to be. It did kill. Oh, man. One of the bigger laughs of the weekend. Who was in the room?

I need names. I mean, heavy hitters. All people that you respect. Yeah. Your friends mostly. Steven Rogers wasn't there, was he? Steven was there. Maybe Laugh the Loudest. He's got a good laugh. It's a shocker. Yeah, he does. He's a good laugher. Steven Rogers was there. Hey, man, I took some hits this weekend too. You did? Nate said that I started...

doing comedy with jeff dunham's old man puppet walter they were talking about the puppet and the inmate said no greg and him started together and it got big laughs that's funny that's a good joke it was yeah yeah yeah you think that didn't hurt so i had it coming yeah yeah where were you at dusty

I was in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Oh, yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah. Just right outside. I love how Greg said, just the city. Yeah, man. I've heard of it. They used to have a club. I think they might still, but it was never like, it was a club that didn't pay any money. But I remember going through doing a guest set there and just loving it, loving the crowd and everything. But there's not, would you work at theater? This club is outside of Albuquerque in a casino called the Star Arena.

I don't know. I don't know the casino. I don't know what it's called, but, uh, St. Santa Ana star casino. That's it. Okay. Uh, it's called case. And it is the guy who is in breaking bad. He's the, he's the partner of, uh,

of the main cop. Gomez. Yes. His casino? It's his club. In the casino. His name's on it. Yeah. I think he's a big part of it. So it's a club? Yeah, it's a club. And it was really great. I had a really great time, but I do want to show, Aaron has the, I was looking to, I just went to the website to see what time the show was and they pulled up my name and this was the bio they used for me. It says, Dusty Slay is an American comedian. Yeah.

He was the youngest comedian to have ever performed at the Grand Ole Opry, having since been dethroned by fellow comedian Aaron Weber. That's the bio that they put for me. That's all the information you need about the show. Is that you going on his Wikipedia page and changing it? I think so. That's what it feels a lot like. I think that is my Wikipedia bio. Well, this is so funny. This is a club I have.

I've no relationship with, I've never been there. I've never been to Albuquerque. I don't know why they shoehorned me into your bio, but I appreciate it. Now, what they said was they said they got a new website and the guy that designed it just put this in as a placeholder and then forgot to change it. Right. But it's so funny to read that as my bio. And imagine you're in Albuquerque and you're like, I'd like to see some comedy tonight. Yeah. Oh, Dusty Slay. I've never heard of him. What's he all about? Yeah. Oh, he's a...

An American comedian. He's American. That's good. All right. And he's the youngest to perform at the Opry. This is interesting. But not anymore.

He's been dethroned by another comic we don't know. Well, when's this Weber guy coming? I'll just wait for that. I'll wait for this Weber guy. This young buck. Yeah. This guy, he's over the hill. This old has-been? My bio's going to be youngest performer at the Opry after eclipsing fellow comedian Dusty Smith. That'll be my bio.

But- One of them close, really. But the shows were great. And I had a lot of fun. They treated me well. They gave me a nice steak dinner at the restaurant. How about that? Yeah, it was very nice. I had a great time. Hot shows. Hot shows. Yeah, man. I told you, you did my hometown a while ago and a lot of buzz in St. Louis about your show. That show was great. Yeah. At the factory? At the factory. Yeah. That show was awesome. Yeah. I heard a lot of really good things. Yeah. The factory was so great.

It was such a cool venue. It is. It's nice. Yeah. And it's also like not downtown. So I could just like park out in the parking lot. As long as we're talking about that, I need to say this because it's definitely not downtown. Yeah. It's out in the suburbs where most people in St. Louis live. Yeah. Okay. So I did St. Louis with Aaron and Nate and Steven and Dustin and

And we stayed, we stayed downtown at the Four Seasons, which is a great hotel. We played the Fox, which is a beautiful theater. Nate sold out five shows of the Fox. It's never been done before. The route that you take from the Fox to,

Two, the four seasons is some of the worst areas in St. Louis. Wow. It's not nice. Okay. It's not a nice neighborhood. It's a dangerous neighborhood. Yeah. Okay. That's all these idiots saw of St. Louis. The whole weekend. The whole weekend. That's the only thing they saw of my hometown. And they didn't have a lot of nice things to say about my town. They didn't. And the whole time they were just bagging on. I'm like, guys, could we just...

I swear if we just get on the freeway, if we just go three blocks from the, no, no, we're going to go. Chesterfield is very nice. It's great, isn't it? It's fantastic. It's beautiful, but not, not these guys will never say one positive thing. Will O'Donnell lives in St. Charles, I think around that area. He talks about how great it is. He said there's a street that kind of separates the good and the bad. Is that true?

from where we were? Or... Well, I think Will told me like there's a... St. Louis is kind of sectioned off. He's talking... I think he's talking about where he lives is the other side of the Missouri River. He said Kirkwood's really bad.

No, you're just taking shots, man. Kirkwood is the nice. Kirkwood's like Mayberry. It's so nice. I don't know St. Louis. It's real nice. Kirkwood's where I live, by the way. My friend. You guys wouldn't be able to keep. You'd have to just say, this is great. I can't do the joke anymore. I get it. My friend was moving across the country, and he was moving with his whole family, and he had his car loaded down with everything they owned.

And his wife, they were passing through St. Louis and his wife wanted to check out the arch. So they pulled into the arch, got out, went into the arch, went up, came back down, out to their car, everything gone. They could see it. You can, you can. That's my car. That looks a whole lot like my mattress. Yeah.

Yeah, it was bad, man. I mean, there's no convincing them now. Yeah. And then just like we would drive. These are tough neighborhoods. And Nate would be like, I'm going to get out here and get something. I'm like, no. That was the running joke. Do not get out. I need to use the bathroom. Let me pull over here real quick. No. Greg was like, keep going, keep going. Don't do that. That was fun. Yeah.

Well, I was at the Grand Ole Opry last night. That's cool. Set a record, the oldest comedian surpassing Grandpa Jones. So that's on my bio now. Who's Grandpa Jones? Is that a He-Hog guy? You ever heard of Grandpa Jones? No. He was, wasn't he? Yeah, he was a He-Hog guy. Okay. He's funny. I met Gary Mule Deer at the airport the other day. He's funny. He's in his 80s. Yeah. Yeah.

He's still funny, though. Yeah, Grandpa Jones. Yeah, I could see where you're going. That's your grandpa. Last night in the convenience dressing room, Gary Mildear and Henry Cho just recently became members of the Opry. So the pitchers are up now, but Gary Mildear's was upside down. Yeah. Is that just a running joke? I didn't want to turn it back. I don't know if it was done. Like, Henry did it as a joke. So I just left it as is. All right.

Anyway, I was at the Opry last night, and it's great. It's such an honor to get to do it. That's pretty awesome. It's very cool. Yeah, that sounds pretty awesome. How'd the shows go? It was, I mean, it was great. It was great. T. Graham Brown was on right after me. Daryl Worley. Some guy afterwards said Daryl Worley's a fan. And I'm like, well, I don't know if that's...

True, but I hope it's true. You didn't talk to him? No, I mean. You don't bounce around and try to talk to other people in there? I mean, I walk around a little bit, but. If ever there's someone there that I like, I try to get in there. I try to talk to them. Just tell them. Hey, I'm on the show as well. Yeah. Grandpa Jones. Yeah. They always have an archer eyes and always feel weird. Just they're all talking or. Yeah. Doing stuff.

I did on Thursday. I followed this guy, Alex Miller, making his Opry debut as a young guy, old school sounding country. Dusty, you would like him. Yeah. And he killed. He was doing great. And then between songs, he goes, I want to dedicate this next song to my grandfather. My grandfather got me in the country. My grandfather used to come to every show and he would keep a log of every show I ever went to. Yeah.

And then tonight, even though my grandpa's not here to watch me, when I get backstage, I'm going to write down the grand old Opry. And people are crying. He gets standing. I'm up next. I mean, it was such an emotional, strong moment. I had to address it, which I've never had to be like, all right, keep it going one more time. Tough to follow that. Anyway, I went to McDonald's. You know what I mean? There's such a pivot from one.

But you never know who you're going to have to follow at these shows, right? It can be somebody legendary or a heartwarming moment. You never know. Yeah. I mean, I'm trying to blank on her name right now. The singer that went right before me was just incredible. Yeah. And I think last time you were here, I told the story about doing the Opry. And I tell that joke about giving the fake testimonial and all that stuff. And then the guy that went up after me gave a real testimonial, how he overcome drugs and all that stuff.

Same thing happened last night. They were like, this is a comic too. Back to back comics. I walk off stage. This guy's good. T. Graham Brown's next. He goes, I really did overcome drug addiction in the 90s and I'm about to go give my testimonial. And sure enough, he did. Wow. Yeah. You'd think you'd learn.

You would. You would. Yeah, especially at the Opry. I mean, I bet there's a lot of testimonials. Yeah. I think at least 60, 70% of them there. I like to follow a serious thing. I followed Neil McCoy at the Opry, and that's the worst I've ever done.

because Neil McCoy is like funny. He's running up and down the aisles of the Opry. He's very energetic. The audience is loving it. And then I go out and I'm like, hey, this is my job to be funny. And it just seemed less good up next to what Neil McCoy was doing as an entertainer. Yeah, I know what you mean. They're like, well, that guy wouldn't even try to be

Yeah. Exactly. He's not supposed to be funny. He just itches in his bones. Yeah. This guy, he's got to try. He's trying so hard. And I didn't bomb, but it was the worst I've ever done there. Yeah.

That's pretty cool that you do that show. I mean, that's awesome, man. Yeah. Aaron did it the night before me, I think. Or a couple nights before. I think my dad would come see me if I did the Opry. I think he mentioned that. You should do the Opry. I'd do it. Yeah. Yeah, let's make that happen. We will make it happen. I'm going to try to make it happen. Yeah, we're going to make it happen. We'll do it. Has Junior Sample done the Opry?

I think he's dead. He's another hee haw guy. But I think he's been dead for about 40 years. 40? Yeah.

Lost touch, huh? I mean... I might know a guy over there. He could probably get me in. Are you talking about the guy from Hee Haw? I opened for Minnie Pearl back in the day. He was younger than Grandpa Jones. I didn't think Grandpa Jones had been around recently. I think Junior Sample is on the wall there in the convenience dressing room. I might email little Jimmy Dick and see if he can get me in.

See if he can put a word in for me. Roy Acos. I was in Syracuse, New York, and it was so funny. The whiplash of going from a weekend with Nate to like back on my own in the real world.

From like everything's perfect to like just about everything went wrong travel wise. Flights delayed. Can't get a rental car. Can't get into the hotel. Lock my hotel key out of the room once I get it. You know, it's pouring down rain. I don't have a ride to the club. It was like everything compiling. It's a tough club to draw into. I love that club. It is tough. I did two shows. They filled them up.

yeah you know it wasn't me but they were filled up oh yeah the shows were good yeah so it's like once we got there the shows were good but it was just the whole day was just to go from being on the road with nate to back to the real world it was kind of funny you're like oh man what else can go wrong and then everything do you think like because you said they filled them up and it wasn't me so you're saying they gave away tickets oh 100 you ever feel that like if you bring an opener

And the place is full. He's like, you're killing it here. And you know, you know, I'm like, these are not my tickets. What obligation morally do you think that you have to tell that opener that you did not sell those tickets? Because I've been on both sides of a couple of times that they were like, man, you are killing it in this market. I was like, yeah. Yeah.

You go, yeah, if you work real hard, you can do this too, you know? Syracuse is one of my major markets. That's where I come to eat. You know what I mean? Yeah, the host actually, the host was a nice guy, funny guy. He's younger. He came and he's like, yo, dude, I think both shows are like sold out. I was like,

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll be full. They're definitely not sold out, though, buddy. But man, good crowds. I used to make the joke. I used to go. I was going there like every year and I would always make this joke. I was like, I keep coming here every year and the audience keeps getting smaller. I'm just whittling it down. Just trying to find my real fans. Yeah, yeah. You know?

I like that club. I do like going. I like the people that work there. I do not draw very well. Just next time you're there, you'll just get a table at Margaritaville in the mall and just talk to the people, the five or six people that are still there. Yeah, Margaritaville is like always closed over there. I'm like, who is this for? If you're not open at night, I mean, what? Yeah, that's not a good sign. People drinking in the daytime at the Margaritaville mall? Probably. It's five o'clock somewhere. Yeah. Okay.

Let me ask you this. I'm at the hotel. I walk down to the lobby and there's like, you know, the little kiosk where there's snacks and stuff. This is an Aloft hotel. There's a lot of stuff. I like that hotel. Good snacks. Good snacks. It's a good hotel. And there's like muffins and there's like real food in there. Yeah. And the guy working the counter, he's chatting it up with two girls. This is like midnight. He's trying to, he's a normal, he's a dude. He's just trying to talk to these two girls.

So I go over, I grab some stuff and I like motion for him to check me out. And he just goes, you're good, bro. And I was like, yep. So I go upstairs, I eat it all. And I'm like, he's probably still down there. So I'm like, how far can I take this? So I went back. I went back down with.

With the intention to pay, right? No, you didn't. Yes. Well, you just said, how far can I take it? I'm saying I will. With the intention to pay. I was just like, well, maybe I can pay for something here. I'm saying I will pay if I need to, right? So those girls are still there.

so i go and i grab a little more stuff than i did last time and this is like specialty items like i got like a reese's ice cream thing yeah like these are legit this is probably 20 worth of stuff and i walk over and i have it and he looks at me he goes all right you're good man no it's like i'll go yeah i was in the elevator like let's go you're like one more time tell us

in chapter 11 now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was not good, but I did not go back a third time. And you were that guy's conversation with those girls. He was now using you. He was like, yeah, this guy. Oh, whatever I can do to help him out. He's like, there's a lot of losers in this hotel. And here's the thing.

I want to point out a couple of things about this story. Number one, can you imagine the free stuff that those girls got? Oh, my gosh. They got rooms. Yeah, whatever. They're like, after you, they're like, well, you got a room here? Yeah, sure. Who cares? Two, I love that you think muffins are real food. I know, I know.

You're like, muffins, man, real food. I'm talking like square meals. I noticed that too. Versus a Milky Way bar, that's real food. I just want to be, there is not a lot of difference in nutrition from a Milky Way bar to a muffin. You're telling me there's no difference in substance though?

Between a candy bar and a muffin? I think a baked good is often as bad as a candy bar. But you understand what I'm trying to differentiate this from a vending machine. There's some more preparation. There's probably the shelf life on the muffin is less than that. It feels better to eat bread than...

of whatever chemical makes up i'm saying you walk up you don't think there's any chemicals for sure there is for sure but there was a cake tray with like muffins in it so i was like oh there's real stuff it was wait a minute you're talking in a muffin tray like fresh baked no like a glass like raised platform with a little lid on it and no plastic over the muffin uh

I'm trying to remember. Was it in its own? It's in the cake tray. I got into it pretty quick. I'm trying to remember. He might have ate the plastic. Oh, did I eat that plastic? Oh,

I don't know. Did you make it back to the room before you went back for seconds? Yeah, I went up there and I sat and I thought about it for a few minutes. And I go, I don't want to catch him before he leaves. His shift ends, right? It's like 2 a.m. I've been trying to write about that. And you got a Holiday Inn head on by the way, which is amazing. That's really cool. I love it. But they just don't staff a hotel. No. The whole point of this thing, there's a lot of people there.

And they put one 19 year old in charge. They built, it probably cost him $6 million to build this hotel. There's 300 people staying in there. And there's one 19 year old who's running the whole deal. And it's what you tell me is the point that I've been trying to make is like,

That kid's 19. If he gets a call from his friend and says, hey man, I met these two girls and they have some beers. He'll quit right there in the middle of that shift. He should. Now nobody's there. And I have, if you walk in off the road and you just walk in and

And there's nobody at the front desk. It's very upsetting. You ring the bell. Yeah, yeah. You ring the bell. There's still nobody there. It's like, well, somebody, there's a horrible thing happened. Rental car companies are like that. There's one guy manning eight different companies. Yes. Oh, yeah. I'm running Enterprise, Alamo, and National. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you go to the counter and you're like, oh, no, I'm, they go, I can help you here. I go, I'm with Enterprise. Yeah, I got that too. We all work together. It's all over here, buddy. Yeah, yeah.

You're being lied to. It's all one company. Yeah. I'm flying Southwest. That's me too. Can I check my bag with you too? Yeah, I'd do it all. Guys, I want to tell you a little bit about BetterHelp. Do you mind? No, no. You know what? I had a friend told me he listens to this podcast, used BetterHelp, and really liked it.

Really? Yeah. Shocking. Yeah. Well, I don't know why it's shocking. Well, I'm just saying that because people point out how you and Nate always say it in a way like, but seriously, I really do like this product sometimes. I think therapy is a good idea. You do? Yeah. Thank you, Greg. Trying to save the ad read here. I am. I know you're doing it. They're like, you need better help pitching this ad. Yeah.

But they'll say, you'll read the ad and then you'll say, but you know what? I really do like so-and-so. You say it away like, I know I just joked about all that stuff, but there's some like Viore shorts. I'm wearing them right now. I've worn these same shorts the last four podcasts. I haven't heard of these shorts. Well, that's not even a sponsor. Let me tell you about BetterHelp. Greg, do you ever compare yourself to others? Yeah. Unfavorably. Yeah.

Sometimes I do too. I see, I see me. This is a joke that Abby wrote. Sometimes I do too. I see me. I see me comparing myself to swimmers. Oh, okay. Cause I, I revealed last week that I'm taking swimming lessons. Are you? Yeah. Cause I didn't know how to swim. You don't know how to swim. Yeah. I let's get through the ad. Yeah. I look at how easy it is for them while I am just learning. I kind of was glad that I, you weren't here last week when I broke this news.

Did you know comparison is the thief of joy? I've heard that. It's so easy to envy other people's lives, especially nowadays with Instagram. But in reality, their life isn't.

But life isn't only Instagram. Oh, now it's the host ad lib part. So did you want to say something? Yeah. I mean, I got to say, this is the worst ad read. Now, I may be in the history. My friend told me I asked that he listened to the podcast and he said, yeah, I do listen. He said, matter of fact, my wife used better help for for therapy when her dad passed. She had some she had some stuff with it and she needed some help. And she went to better help, got some help and really liked it.

That's great. Yeah. I just want to jump in. I think because I got a little bit more to read. Well, I'm just trying to save some of what you did. All right. Because I think the point they were making was, you know, if you're just scrolling through Instagram all the time, you're going to be like everybody else is doing better. Yeah. It'd be a good idea to talk to somebody about that. Yeah. Yeah.

I think you're right on. Right on, Greg. I'm just reiterating. There's a lot of filters, a lot of people just writing how great their life is, and maybe it's not. Yeah. If you're thinking of starting- And really any social media platform is going to do that. It doesn't have to be Instagram. It could be Twitter, Facebook. I'm doing much better. Let's not make Instagram call better help. That's right. You know what I mean? It's not Instagram. Sure. There are other people to blame. Zynga, LinkedIn, Facebook.

LinkedIn may be the worst. MySpace. I don't know what Zynga is. Now I feel bad because I don't have an account. Friendster. It gets pretty. TikTok. Rumble. Truth Social.

If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Stop comparing and start focusing with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash nate today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com.

H-E-L-P dot com slash Nate. All right, we did it. I thought that last part was real good. People really like the ad rates because they're fun. And when I'm listening to a podcast and they start an ad, I just go skip, skip. But with this one, you never know what we're going to do. You go skip, skip, and we're still doing it. Skip, skip. I want to say, I mean, I'm a guest and I got no...

dog in the fight and it's not my place to tell you guys how to run your thing but you can't say in the middle of an ad read that you can't swim and then expect everybody to just forget about the rest of the ad I mean that's well I didn't write that copy especially when we have an ongoing thing about how good of a swimmer I am yeah it's just I mean I'm just everybody's trying to hear better help in the thing they just can't swim they just can't swim

Well, no, they actually watch and listen to the podcast, so they know it. Okay. But I can't. Maybe you could do some research before you come on next time. Fair enough. Fair enough. That was directed at Dusty, who's one of the hosts. Yeah. I probably need to watch more full episodes. I do. I see the clips. Yeah. I enjoy them. Clips are great. Yeah. Yeah, they're really well put together. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, clips are really where it's at for a podcast. That's right. I don't think you're supposed to say that on the podcast. Again, I'm not the one that's trying to tell you guys how to do things. I don't think you're supposed to say that. Should we get into these comments? Is there anything you wanted to say about swimming? Well, I just, you know, I'm a good swimmer. We've covered that. And we've talked a lot about it. They've ridiculed me.

And yet, Brian kept quiet the whole time about how he couldn't swim. I think that's pretty impressive that you held that in. You know what? Me too. For the record, though, since Bates had always said he would be able to blend in well with a soccer team, I can play soccer. I just want you guys to know that. Yeah, I think you can play soccer. We ridiculed him because he thinks he could blend in with professional swimmers.

Yeah. And they always go right to Michael Phelps. I'm not saying I can beat Michael Phelps. But how many – who's watching professional swimming? I don't know.

I think I could get out there and you go, oh, that guy. Yeah. He's doesn't seem as in shape as the other guys, but yeah, I believe. So your argument for why you could blend in is that nobody's watching. Well, yeah, yeah. I could blend in on that. That was the argument from the beginning was what professional sport do you think you could blend in? Right. Yeah. Right. Assuming someone's looking at them though. You can't go. Nobody watches it. You're adding the assuming thing. I mean, are you swimming? Yeah.

Yeah. That's the blending is occurring while you're swimming. Yeah. And Brian would be a professional soccer player. Here's the thing, Greg. You seem like a little bit more reasonable, rational person than Dusty. Okay. If you're going to blend in in a sporting event, you need to be on a team. Yeah. And your team, I said, your teammates can be in on it where they don't even involve you in the action. I would get out there, stand in the middle.

Just run around. So if the teammates were in on it. Yeah. Yeah. They would be like, but we've seen you run now. We've still not seen me swim. I'm not running. I'm going to just, just jog around a little bit and walk. I'm not, I think you could. Yeah. If you're just jogging, it could be like, if they were in on the base is covered. Uh, we got to get their double team and baits. There you go.

So you got to have everybody in on it to get you. Including the opposing team and the refs. Because I don't think you're getting double teamed out there. I'll just say that. Well, that's true. But even a team sport, it's got to be a team sport, I think. I don't think so. But even in, well, it's all on you now to trick them. Where even a team sport like baseball, there's only so much you can control. You can't stop the other team from hitting it. I think you would blend in better in baseball than soccer.

I don't think I'm really going to blend in anywhere, but I need to be somewhere where. I think the soccer, I got to say the soccer is not a bad one. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, I can buy it. I've actually already done it. You guys just didn't know it. Because no one was watching. Well, just Americans don't know soccer well enough to know. You know what I mean? You think they know swimming?

Well, I think the thing about swimming is it's so objective. If I'm wrong, it's all a race. Yeah, it's a race. But I'm a good swimmer, though. I think that I could hold up pretty well. And now I need to practice a little bit. I think there's going to be distance between you and these guys. I think you're not even on the screen when the people finish. Which is what I mean. I think they don't even know. Yeah. Yeah.

I'd like to see it. We'll make it happen. Steven Rogers is like a real swimmer. Is he? Yeah, he can swim. He swam competitively.

Me too, but not for a league. I had to keep up with the other kids when I was going out. I was competitive. Yeah, he was doing backstreet non-sanctioned swimming. Street ball. Everybody was older than me. I had to keep up with them. Street swimming. Yeah, it's like, I bet you 500 bucks you can't beat Dusty. Yeah, other kids are trying to drown me and stuff like that. Well, you can certainly beat me. I can tell you that.

Yeah, who's going to read them? I think somebody else. Why don't you go? All right. Yeah, do it. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast Reviews, and nateland at natebargatze.com. Or text 615. Sorry. Just kidding. People always ask. I was buying that. People always ask what email. It's nateland at natebargatze.com.

Okay, Marquise Alston. Hey, Bear. Anytime you need to fill in, please invite Greg Warren to sit in on the podcast. He's a perfect fit with all of you, even birdbeat baits. All right? He really yelled, Hey, Bear, too. Hey, Bear! All caps. Yeah. All caps. Thanks, Marquise. Is it Marquise or Mark? Marquise. Marquise, probably. Or Mark. Call him Mark.

Marquez? Maybe that's French. Marquez. A little bit of French in there. Yeah, but I mean, if you're going French, I think it would be all, the E and the S would be silent. Marque. No, there'd be an accent on there. Oh, you're probably right. Accent again. Dana Langley. In the late 80s, early 90s, I would go to Oakland A's games. They produced a fan guide which would list the hotels that the players would stay in for both the A's and visiting teams. That's crazy. That's crazy.

I once rang through to Jose Canseco's room. That's at the request of the team, probably. That's how the women find out. Yeah. As a 13-year-old fangirl, all I could do was giggle and wish him good luck. I once called Roger Clemens' room and wished him good luck. Thanks for reminding me of the good old days. Keep up the great work. That is crazy. Last week, we talked about heroes, people on our wall and stuff like that. Yeah. That's why they're sharing it. That is crazy.

I'm trying to think. If I were 13 years old and they gave me a phone number that went to Chipper Jones, yeah, I would call it. What would you say? I would have nothing to say. I'd just go, you're awesome, dude. And he would go, all right. And that would have been great, though. You would have talked to your friends about it. I would still be talking about it to this day. I talked to Chipper Jones once on the phone. I met him once. Did you really? I don't know if I said that in this podcast. No. Did you really? Yeah. Where? Go Bananas, Cincinnati, Ohio. Really? Braves were in town. I was just...

maybe a little bit above an open mic-er. And this is how dumb I was, man. I just, it was, you know, I was younger. I think I was late twenties, early thirties or something. And, and Chipper Jones, they were in town, the Braves were playing the Reds and I guess they had a night off or something. So it was like a show and I think I was on it or something. And there's this woman in there. And I said to the owner, I'm like, dude, did you see that girl? Damn. Like,

I must have indicated that I thought I could talk to her. I had a shot or something. He's cause you're the dumbest person. That's chipper Jones's wife. Yeah. Wow. Seems fair. Yeah. He was, yeah, he was, he was a show. So that's how you met him. Yeah. And now I'm not, I think maybe I didn't meet him, but I,

but I saw his wife. I saw his wife. He wasn't even there. I thought I had a shot with his wife. That's what I'm saying. Saw his wife from a distance. I don't even know if I thought I had a shot. I was going to take a shot. Yeah. And then, and then I saw him. I did see him. Wow. I mean, and Go Bananas is not a big place. So we were close to meeting. Like he would pass in the hallway or whatever. Wow. Closer than I've been. Yeah. Yeah.

Someone pointed out that last week I listed the guys I had on my wall, and they said typical Bakes faction. All three of these guys should have went to the Hall of Fame, but didn't for different reasons. I had Del Murphy, Pete Rose, and Dwight Gooden. Yeah. I mean, Del Murphy, people just say, should be in the Hall of Fame. Should be in the Hall of Fame. Power hitter before there were big-time power hitters. He did play a lot of his games in Fulton County Stadium, which was –

Kind of the Homer place back before every place had Homer. It was like the Rocky Stadium. Yeah. I mean, it certainly wasn't like the Rocky Stadium, but of its time, it was the Rocky Stadium. That's what I was saying. Okay.

I wasn't trying to be a jerk. I was just saying. They just moved it over to Colorado. In fairness to Dale, it was harder to hit home. I do like, though, in that story, how you talked about how dumb you were. And then the age you listed is Aaron's age. You were like late 20s, early 30s. That was real stupid. His brain wasn't even developed. I was, but he's infinitely more mature than I was, intelligent, and a way better comic than I was at that time.

Well, I'll agree with that. I mean, I remember my late 20s and early 30s. And I've always thought of it. There's a lot of it you don't remember, too. And I've always thought that about Aaron. I'm like, wow, it's really impressive. Yes. Yeah. What about you, Brian? I don't remember it. It was a long time ago. I had Chipper Jones poster on the wall. So Dwight Gooden, that's before your time. But I mean, he was, first two years of the league, they're like, this guy's going to be the greatest pitcher of all time. Nobody was...

Won like 25 games or something, didn't he? He went 24 and four. It's like second year of the league. Nobody will ever win 24 games again. Yeah. And then, you know, gotten some drugs and stuff. Yeah. You ever hear that story about, well, I know you don't relate to sports, so I thought maybe the drugs. Oh yeah. Get on board. Yeah. There's a story about Daryl. Yeah. He's like, I want to start having a good time. This baseball thing's not for me.

that Darryl Sarban was his teammate. Yeah. And, uh, and he's, he's like a pretty phenomenal guy now. Like he's, he, he, he had some drug problems, great player, but he's like a preacher now. And, uh, yeah, you hear him talking really neat guy, but, um, back then he was, uh, he's having some drug problems. So they call in Darryl, who's a teammate of Dwight Gooden. And he, and they go, Hey, listen, um, Darryl, there's a lot of,

There's a lot of reports from a lot of media going around that there's a young African-American player for the Mets that's doing a lot of drugs in New York City. And Strawberry goes, yeah. Yeah.

It's Dwight. He goes, I was worried about it too. That's awesome. Yeah, I've read that. There's a book called The Year the Bad Guys Won. It's about the 86 Mets. It's a pretty good book. I think there's a 30 for 30 about them. Is it? Yeah. The only person they said was... It was like a really...

solid human being basically goes Mookie Wilson. It's like a really nice guy. Gary Carter was like a nice guy with it. They said he, he sucked up to everybody and you know, his teammates, you know, said that, I don't know how much this is true, but yeah, that was my team back there. That, that whole season. Really? You like the 86 mats? I did. Dwight Gooden was one of my favorite players. He was great, man. He was 19 when he came to the league. Like,

I identify with that guy. Same kind of person. Do you think today's July 1st? I think July is the most boring month of the year for sports. Oh, yeah. Because it's so good for everything else. It's just a good month to live life. I like baseball. And it's the all-star game. I love baseball. You like baseball? I do. I mean, I do too. Yeah, but there are times of the year where there's like three or four exciting sports going on. And this is kind of all we have now.

is baseball in July. Right. Because I think it is designed for you to like, you know, you're like, Hey, it's July. Let's get out and enjoy yourself, you know? Take your shirt off. Yeah. Take your shirt off. Twist it around your head. Spin it like a helicopter. You know what I mean? At least this year we have the Olympics, but. That's August though, isn't it? I think it starts late July. Oh, does it? I think so. I'm fired up about that. Are you really? Yeah.

You've been waiting all year for the Olympics? Four years. I like the wrestling. Oh, okay. Yeah, I get it. I follow every one of those guys. Okay. Since they were in college. All right. Michael Birdwell. Growing up in Indiana, I was a huge Larry Bird fan. What? I just... I mean, I believe that you're telling the truth when you say that, but it sounds like a joke. Okay.

I've never been more serious about anything. I love Olympic wrestling. Just the way you said it, it's like, that sounds like a joke, but I think it's true. I got nothing coming punchline wise. Yeah. I'm just saying. Yeah. I got, I love him. Who's the big American wrestler this year?

We got a few. I mean, I'd say Kyle Dake is the, probably the, you guys are all familiar with Kyle. Yeah. I'd say Kyle's probably the biggest favorite because they, they're making some of the Russians sit. They're not letting a few of the Russians in because of their stance on Ukraine. Okay.

Not all the Russians, but some Russians who have been outspoken or said some things about Ukraine. And the Russians are really, really good. It's kind of a weird take, though. You're like, hey, you're at war with another country, and we're not going to let you wrestle because you're favoring your own country. Yeah.

Yeah. You know what I mean, though? It's like, isn't that, yeah, that just seems weird. I mean, I'm not even taking a side, but you're- No, I know what you're saying. What do you want these guys to do? Be like, oh, no, we don't stand with our own country, but we'd like to represent them in the Olympics. Yeah, I mean, I empathize with Ukraine quite a bit, but yeah, I kind of see what you're saying too. I don't know how they-

Keep them out. But there's like four Russians that are really, really good. Seems like they're using it to get some gold for America. Sitikov is going to have to sit, guys. Sitikov? Really? Yeah, Sitikov's going to have to sit. It's not even worth watching. Rulon Gardner.

He's a little older, man. He's been out of it for a while. I'm impressed you know that name. Yeah. He's the guy who upset the Russian, right? Yeah. Ken Shamrock. That's more UFC. Goldberg? No. Kurt Angle won an Olympic gold medal. He did. He wrestled while I was wrestling in college. Yeah. You beat him, right? No.

No, no, I did not. He's a heavyweight, Brian. And I would not have beaten him. He was much better than I was. I lost to his teammate, as a matter of fact. Michael Birdwell. Growing up in Indiana. Brian Asosoles. Is that something?

Like a triangle, Kurt angle. It took me a second, but I'm right there with you, man. It took me a minute too, but once it came, I was like, I know the moment's passed, but I still would like to go. I'm glad you went back and got it. Maybe they could edit that little space out of time and make it seem like I was really quick-witted with it. Yeah, that's going to change a lot. This is a great joke. That guy was on that isosceles like nothing.

I don't even think he had to think about it. It's almost like he was sitting on it the whole podcast. His time is impeccable. Whereas if they leave it as it is, he'd be like, dude, it was seven seconds late. Why did he go and talk about it? He had to Google geometry terms just to get that punchline in. The Sosley's is the one where they're all the same size. I don't really know. I just tried to come up with something. That's a square. That's an equilateral triangle.

I believe it's which is- Dr. Justin Marchegiani: A sosolese, yeah, it's like a different shaped triangle. One's real long and another one's real small. Tanner Iskra: Man, I think you are wrong. Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Am I? I have no idea. Tanner Iskra: Yeah. Dr. Justin Marchegiani: I have no idea. This is the one- Tanner Iskra: A sosolese, of course, the renowned Greek philosopher that- Dr. Justin Marchegiani: Michael Birdwell.

Growing up in Indiana, I was a huge Larry Bird fan. My friend worked for a pest control company and Larry's house was on his route route route. He gave me a clipboard and let me follow him around while he serviced the home. Once he finished, he had Larry signed the bill and then later gave it to me so I could have his autograph. Would you have pretended to work pest control to meet your childhood hero? Or is that too far on the stalker spectrum?

I kind of did it without even- You did work pest control, right? I sold pesticides, but it's funny that I used Spectrum. Spectrum Brands was the pesticide company that I worked for based out of St. Louis. Oh, they're out of St. Louis? United Industries. And you were calling on Home Depot's, Lowe's type places, right? Doing some-

Sort of unscrupulous stuff from the last time I was here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stuff I didn't care for. Yeah. I mean, now we know each other. We're friends. But if I were doing your job, I would have been smashing Peter Pan cans in the back. Yeah. And I want to say this. And man, I'm grateful for a lot of stuff that Nate's done for me. Yeah, I am. But I mean, I did that tour and day three on the on the in the green room. There's Skippy.

It's just, I don't know what he was doing. I think, I don't know. I'm thinking maybe he's like, let's see his first time out on the tour. Maybe let's see, shake him up. See if he can still. Rattle. Yeah. And I'm not saying, I probably didn't have the best set that night. I was angry, but yeah. Sorry. It's okay. But yeah, of course. I mean, I don't, just to answer this guy's question. Yeah. I don't have,

childhood heroes but if I did I would I would fake being a pest control guy to meet them Kid Rock or Hank Williams Jr. you didn't have anybody growing up I like them but I don't

Hero is too strong of a word. Yeah. Well, who cares what you call it? You know what we're talking about. Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. I'm trying to relate. I'm trying to be relatable to people with heroes. Yeah. Yeah. I would have done that. Yeah. Yeah. Last week was a good week for you not to be here. Yeah. Somebody told me you said that. Yeah. Yeah. You don't like a hero? No. Okay.

Well, idols probably. The idolization, right? Yeah. Any of that, really. They're just people. Yeah. You don't like looking up to people. And there's people that I'm like, I enjoy. I like the work that they've done. You don't look up to people at all? I don't think so. I appreciate what people have done, but, you know. Wow. I think I look up to some people. Yeah.

I missed the episode, so I don't know who some of your heroes are. I look up to Mike James and- He's a tall guy. Yeah. He is tall. Lachlan Patterson. Mike's good. Nick Thune. Yeah. Good guy to roll craps with. Mike. I don't know what that means. We did Casino Night. We'll get there. We'll get there. I'll keep moving. Yeah.

Yeah, Michael, I would. And his name's Birdwell, and he really likes Larry Bird. Yeah. Likes him well. Yeah. You think if it went poorly, he would have changed his last name? Maybe.

Larry Bird sucks. No, wait. That'd be Michael. Okay. Justin Maggard. I am a category manager for a grocery retailer. My job is to meet with people like Greg and Dusty, decide what items we carry, what price we sell them for, and where in the planogram we merchandise their items. Hearing old war stories about life in retail is great medicine while I work. Where is this guy working? He said grocery? Yeah. Man, I'd like to know which chain. Mm-hmm. I bet Aldi. You think Aldi? Mm-hmm. Ah.

well I will say maybe Dutch company maybe I was out of the loop but the store manager usually wasn't meeting with me to decide what we would carry I would be like hey let's meet and then I would track them down and go you need to order some more of this oh yeah man and they are not easy to track down yeah they're not trying they're not they don't include me on the planogram decisions at all well now the planogram is it's that's the

It's all corporate. Decentralized. There's guys like you can't, you're not worth much anymore. Cause you can't walk into that store with all your charm and, uh,

bad tactics that you're using for it. You still can't move. I don't know if I told you I would do this. This was one of my favorites. Go in, like there's three wasp and hornet killers for me, three facings for me and three facings for the competition. I would move the label, knock them down to one or two facings. You talked about this, man. And then I would do five facings for myself. Greg's getting upset again. Dishonorable, man. They should have thrown you out of that store. You guys are laughing, but that is not

cool they didn't know and then you pack the shelf so full that in order for them to change the facings it's a lot of work yeah yeah yeah and they won't yeah it's it's that's that's right up there with switching tags and all that kind of stuff yeah this um i don't like it you're a scum i was a different guy back then yeah yeah you were yeah you were um but this guy

And I do like what you said about trying to track down that store manager. That is not an easy thing to do. Oh, yeah. I would walk in the store and see managers dart away. Yeah, yeah. And then you got to go up to the front.

front where they have the customer service. And I started in Texas and they're, they'd be, Dale, there's a sales rep here to see you. And then he'll be like, what do you got? What do you got? Yeah. What do you got? He's like, I'm real busy right now. What do you got? I got a lot going on. They never said, they never like, you know what, man, I got, I got a little free time. What do you got?

Come on to the back, dude. Let's sit down and maybe have a cup of coffee. They're always busy. A couple cigars. Real busy right now. Real busy. What do you got?

Aaron, you want to tell us about Chime? Chime. I am so excited. Chime in. Summer again. But summer can get expensive with all your planning. So when you have financial goals, you need to figure out what is worth saving for. Right now, Lucy and I are preparing for life as first-time parents. But our summer should still be fun and not financially stressful. With the crime, Chime.

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Holy smoke. He's a pro. That thing at the end? Yeah. He's the best. Look at him. He's in his own. That was great. He blacked out. He doesn't even know what happened. I don't know what ad read that was. That's as good as I've heard on the radio. I agree. Thanks, man. I did start turning it into an ad read for crime there in the middle. I had to switch it up. I like that. You were covered, man. And...

My buddy, Sean, that you met, that's a big fan of yours, a big fan of podcasts. He loves the podcast. He clarified. No, wait. I mean, podcast. He is. He likes all you guys, but he really likes Aaron. And he got to meet Aaron. He's a comic. He's a good comic. My buddy, Sean O'Brien, he has mentioned to me. I was going to do a show with him. He canceled. He did. Yeah. But that wasn't, it was, he had to, or his girlfriend was going to leave him. Okay.

it was she didn't want him working with brian no because you said it was gonna be a woman yeah no he was supposed to he he made plans with her on something and then he forgot about it was a wedding yeah um anyways uh he has mentioned that aaron's real good at reading ads yeah i'm not real good words getting out yeah

Morgan Smith.

How do you deal with a difficult crowd? And what is the worst thing that has happened to you with crowd work? You want to take this one, Brian? Well, I should. Well, we all know how Bates crowd works. Yeah, Bates is a master at it. Have you heard this, Dusty? No. I mean, there's many, but I think the one you're interested in. Oh, have I heard that he's a master at crowd work? Oh, yeah. Of course. Of course. How does he do it, Greg? Of course. I think I was at the comedy catch in Chattanooga one time, and there was a guy wearing an Auburn shirt up front. And I was like, did you go to Auburn?

He's like, nah. I'm like, yeah, me either. And then I just kept going or something like that. That's right. He doesn't hit them. He doesn't hit them at all. He just leaves them hanging. He just asks them a question. They answer it. Moves right to the next guy. That's really the best kind of crowd. You work them, but there's no need to insult them. You work them. You go to that college? No, me either. Good on you for supporting them, though. No jokes. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah.

Don't tie him in at all. Just some facts. Yeah. Some basic facts. Yeah. Just so you know about me, I didn't go there either. Yeah. What do you do? I'm a lawyer. Outstanding. Good for you. Outstanding.

You want to talk about dealing with difficult crowds? Well... You were looking for your ad read. Nowadays, thankfully, my crowds are not that difficult. I am getting an audience and it's very nice. You want to talk about dealing with difficult crowds? But I will say, though, I have dealt with difficult crowds and you just got to... I feel like you got to learn to roll with it. I think...

For me personally, I like to go, I like to go, like if it's a corporate gig or something like that, where I know it's not going to be good, I just go ahead in my mind. I go, this is not going to be good. Just be ready for this to not be good. And then you go out and you're able to just roll with it. And I can only be pleasantly surprised at that point. I did a corporate gig in New Orleans. They were so drunk. The audience was so wasted. I take the stage and they're like, tell a joke. Yeah.

And then I just, I kind of start crowd working. I'm just messing around with them. And then I, after about 10 minutes, I look at the guy who's paying me and I'm like, I was like, this is not what I do. And I was like, I can just do my act or I can just do whatever this is. And they were like, do whatever this is. And the guy was like, yeah, that's, he just kind of looked at me like, yeah, this is fine. And I did that for like an hour and they loved it. Yeah. Yeah.

And they loved it. Everybody was happy. Yeah. And that's all people want. Yep. To be happy. Yeah. There's a lot there, man. Yeah. One thing is I have noticed, like, I don't know, at some point I was like, man, I haven't had hecklers in a long time. Like, yeah, dummy, you're better. Like what you're saying is somewhat interesting and funny now. Yeah. When you didn't, you weren't that good. There were more hecklers. And man, I'm with you on those.

Cause corporate, you think corporate, Oh, this is going to be very clean, very crisp material, very attentive. And then you walk in there sometimes and you're like, this is a bar gig. This, this is like when I was working and I did this one down in Phoenix and I got in there and it's just, just,

conference room and it was like Wolf of Wall Street, but the redneck version. They were all, I can't remember what they were selling. They were just so drunk and going crazy. And they were given like, like speeches about how you got to throw your money in the company. And at one point the guy just goes, and then Greg Warren, you know, and I went up there and there's like two guys in front of me that are just openly talking to each other. Like, and I'm like,

And it was well, I just, I remember put the, put the,

phone on the table, set the timer. When that thing gets to 60 minutes, I made a bunch of money and I'm going to get to 60 minutes. And they loved it because I did what you did. I was like, now, in my mind, I was like, that was a horrible comedy show. I'm not proud of anything that went on in there. Yeah. But you're surviving and you got it. Sometimes you're up there though and nothing that you do works. I go, my best new joke doesn't work. My best old joke doesn't work. My

My 100% joke doesn't work. I go- It's no longer 100% joke. Yeah, I go, hey, these are good jokes and those kinds of things. I got every trick that I have, I pull out and they're like,

I got one, two guys laughing. I go, all right, these are my guys. The rest of this room doesn't even like comedy. Yeah. Man, I had one this year and it wasn't their fault. Like I still know, I mean, the room was tricky. It was a big, big room when everybody was like, I had their attention and

And they did not care for it. They weren't rude or anything. That's even worse. Yeah, I know. I know, Bates. That's what I'm saying. Were you doing malarkey? Were you bringing the malarkey up? No, man. This was no malarkey. This is the no malarkey tour. No horseplay. Tomfoolery. I did my act. And I might have talked about this last time you were here too, but just a difficult crowd, not a corporate gig. I did the St. Louis Funny Bone.

And this was in 2020 with COVID. They had just announced that the city was about to go under lockdown again on Tuesday. And I'm there on Saturday. And the host or whatever said, give it up for the waitress. There's like a legendary waitress. Yeah. They were like, give it up for Patty. And she got a huge cheer. And then they brought me up.

and I got less of a cheer. And I go, oh, I got less of a cheer than Patty. And they go, she's a legend. And then it felt like the whole show started wrong. You can't follow Patty. They were like, they didn't even like me because I made a little Patty joke. This guy's trying to upstage Patty in her house. It is her house. Who does this guy think he is? I haven't heard of this guy. Well, I mean, I heard they loved you there. Okay. I had a good time. Because they were trying to get you back. I know you were pretty much on the theaters at

Well, you know, you were battling some health issues. Oh, yeah. That whole week, I was beginning to rupture my appendix on that weekend. I was just having severe stomach pain. A bomb was going off in his abdomen. Yeah. He's doing shows. Yeah. My God. Yeah. But I had a lot of fun. But that one particular show where I made the Patty joke.

started way wrong. Patty's been at that club for a long time. And I liked Patty. She's awesome. I wasn't even trashing Patty. I was like, she got a bigger cheer than me. And they're like, you're trying to be self-deprecating. Yeah. And they were like, yeah, of course she did, buddy. Do your jokes. Yeah. She's funny, man. She's funny. But she...

I don't think Patty is sometimes aware that there's comedians on stage. Patty is just kind of like, yeah, yeah. She'll talk about that. Yeah. But man, they were drinkers. They were big drinkers. I rang this and this. Are you saying Patty P-A-D-D-Y? Patty. P-A-T-T-I. There's no E. Okay. Patty. It's not like you were saying it. Well. Patty Dugan, born on St. Patrick's Day. Yeah. Patty. Padraig. That's the male name.

D-D-Y I mean I think it's Patrick right I mean Padre yeah I was going to tell you if you were saying Patricia Padre with a D like St. Paddy no Paddy she was born on St. Paddy's day I didn't know there was a difference yeah she was yeah

I hosted for Rob Schneider one time and I go, give it up for Rob Schneider. And then he comes up and we go past each other. He goes, Schneider, it's Schneider. And I go in the green room and I start telling the guys, I go, I don't know what he's saying. He said his last name. I go, yeah, that's what I said. Where was that? Zanies. And they go, Schneider. You got to say the C-H. I go, oh.

It's a schwasher. Yeah, I wasn't even aware that I was not doing that. That's funny.

and we're passing on it's like my second hosting gig ever he goes it's schneider yeah yeah i know i nailed it didn't i i'm like yeah i'm a fan i'm well aware of who you are i know i just introduced you this guy's lost it he did all those movies with adam shandler

Let me skip ahead on some of these comments. Sendler's list. Nate Pitts. Who is everyone's most underrated comedian? Or what comedian do you know has not received the attention his work deserves? Mine has to be Tim Hawkins. He's pretty popular amongst Christians, but I feel not everyone knows who he is, and he's been at it for a while.

I know Tim went to school at the same college I did, played baseball for Missouri. Really? Yeah. And I didn't know him well, but we were in school at the same time.

Nice guy. Well, Aaron and I know him from the John Chris roast, but have you ever met him? No, I didn't get invited to that. But Tim is really great. And it's like, I guess it just depends on what you mean by underrated because he's huge. For 20 years, he can go to any city in America and sell 5,000 tickets. Yeah, that's not underrated. He's not getting mainstream attention necessarily, but it's like they're

Uh, yeah. I mean, I get more, I got more mainstream attention than Tim Hawkins, but I sell less tickets. Sure. Yeah. Sure. I'm not far behind, but, uh, yeah, you're doing good. Yeah. Well, I like to say good, good doing good. No man is good. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, uh, the, uh, Andy Hendrickson has a pretty good joke about him. He used to be a, uh, roommates with, uh,

Tim Hawkins. With Keith Alberstadt. Okay. Alberstadt. And he said, how you doing? Alberstadt said something like, how you doing? And he goes, I'm doing good. He goes, you're not doing good. You're doing well. He goes, if you're doing good, that means you were out like doing charitable work or something like that. He goes, so how you doing? And he goes,

I'm angry. That's good. That's a great joke. That's good. Yeah. Andy Hendrickson. Underrated comedian. Yeah. Very, very funny. Great Letterman set. Very funny. You guys have one?

Well, I would say this guy, this guy just passed, but I would say James Gregory was an underrated comedian to me. I thought James Gregory was very good and not much success outside of the South and Midwest. But giant success within the South. Like so massive amounts of tickets. But I don't know. I, you know, I'm just reaching here. Funniest man in America.

Yeah. I just think James Greger was great. And I talked to people and so many people don't even know who James Greger is. People have never heard of him. Yeah. And I just, I thought he was really a really great comedian. Yeah. Yeah. Mine is Lavelle Crawford. Yeah, man. From my hometown. I think Lavelle should be in the discussion as an all-time great. Yeah. And he never is for whatever reason. I mean, people know he's funny. People know he kills, but.

He's not talked about in the same way that a few other comics are, who I think he's much funnier than and has a better body of work and writes smarter stuff. Interesting that you use better body, but better help because he was a big guy. Yeah.

I don't think he's still alive. He's still pretty big. No, but he's not big anymore. He's gained some of it back. He is very funny, though. I'm just making a joke. He's from my hometown. We did open mics together. I don't know if he's gained it, but he never got... He wasn't like rail thin. No, but he was... He lost quite a bit of weight. Very funny. Very funny. I mean, I saw him probably when he... First few times he ever did it, he was funny then. Yeah. Yeah, that's...

That's the funny thing about Greg and Lavelle Crawford at Open Mic together. It is funny. Somewhere in St. Louis. Yeah, Lavelle. Yeah. He was great. You know, our buddy, a guy that you know too, Brendan Ayer, I think is an underrated comic. I think he's- Brendan Ayer's very funny. Real funny guy, man. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You guys would like him. Real workhorse, too. I'm sure I know some, too. I'm trying to run through it, but I just can't think of them. But, yeah, who's this guy? I don't know him. Brendan Ayer. You'd like him. Did a loony bin weekend with him. It was one of those, like, we worked, man. Yeah. Yeah, and he really works hard and is very funny. Brendan Ayer from Cleveland. From Cleveland, now lives in Portland, Maine. Yeah. Good act, man. You guys would like him. What about you? Um...

I mean, I think Joe List is super funny. And I mean, it's not like no one knows who he is, but he's not. All these guys you're saying are doing real well. They're all doing way better than me. Why are you directing this at me? But Joe List isn't a household name. And I think he should be. Yeah. I just think he's super fun. I mean, for that matter, Brian Regan,

Who's been selling out for years. The majority of America doesn't know who that is. I feel like you just can't bring him into this discussion because he's doing really well.

It just depends on who you're talking about, right? Like it's like- Underrated to who? My mom doesn't know who Bert Kreischer is, you know? So it's just depending on who you're talking to. Like a lot of people I know don't know Sebastian Maniscalco. So it's like, I think the great thing about comedy is you can be very famous in the comedy world and still relatively unknown. Yeah, my dad-

came to nate show i mean he knew that i you know that nate had done a lot for me and everything but he you know he watched his special yeah and then he came to the live show and loved it but he wasn't too aware of nate before i told him yeah about nate and i'm like dad he's the biggest comic in the world yeah yeah yeah he met my dad he just asked the craziest things like i think after the show he said something that first guy is he a pretty big deal

And I go, it's Steven Rogers. He's I go of the five of us, there's Nate. And then there's the four of us. Yeah. It's a big deal. Four of us or not, but Steven's great. Yeah. And, and, and he's like you, he's, he's young. Like same age, I think. Yeah. You guys are. I think, I think I said to him the other day, I was like, how old is this? I go, man, if you don't completely screw things up, you're going to have a great career.

No pressure. This funny and this young, you better not, just don't make some really stupid mistakes. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Uh, let's do one more comment. You want to Greg pick out a name? Um, Oh, I'd like to hear, um,

I'd like to hear what Mandy McKnight has to say. All right. Mandy McKnight, the way Greg listens to Aaron read an ad is the way every woman wants her man to pay attention to her. All right. You are very intent on when... Well, he's a salesman. Yeah. You got to respect the craft. Exactly. I mean, there's business that's going on at this point. We're paying bills here. That's right. You know? That's right. And I want to... And also, again, he's...

People like Sean O'Brien are out there saying, you got to listen to this guy read ads. You ever seen his act? No, no, no. But the ad reads. Yeah. This guy's incredible. Pretty good comedian, but what he does is ad reads. Yeah. You should read some of those ads in the middle of your act. Yeah.

You could be the first guy. Just sell out, man. Just completely sell out. Why not? Before I get to this next joke, have you guys heard about BetterHelp? Raise your hand if you bought these tickets online. Some of you need ExpressVPN. One thing we didn't mention this past week is for those of us who opened for Nate on this last tour that's wrapping up,

Nate invited us to come to Indianapolis to do a little casino night to thank the crew and everyone involved in it. So we did that one night last week. There's some of us gathered on stage. It's not the final photo with, I don't think.

But there's one of them. So this is the whole crew. There's Steven, Nate's dad, a lot of the crew, the tour managers, Johnny W, Keith Alberstadt, Derek Stroop.

Wow. Johnny W is tall, huh? I mean, I know Johnny W, but like, I thought Keith is a very tall guy. Yeah. Keith is tall. Mike James. Mike James. But it's like, I don't know. I just know Mike James is tall, but it's like Johnny W is like Mike's height. Yeah. Look how tall Dustin Nickerson is there.

He's there, isn't he? Yeah. So it was super fun. Yeah, I had a fun casino night where no one lost money. It was set up in a way where we all could just have fun. We gave out prizes at the end for people who had the most chips, but no one lost money in the night. It was just fun, but yeah, competitive, would you say? It got crazy on the crash table. Yeah. Nick Novicki...

Had the greatest craps roll I've ever seen in my life.

I don't know why you're laughing at me. It was huge. Because I remember, I was at the blackjack table, and you're having a good time. But then right over there, people are screaming like they're having the best time of their lives. You came over? I want to be over there. What's happening over there? And it was Nick Novicki on the roll of his lifetime. I don't even understand what's happening, but he's doing all the right stuff. I tried to explain stuff to you during the game. You did a good job. But it perhaps is an emotional game, man.

I mean, there's just this collective enthusiasm. We were all going crazy. And now Vicky's just hitting point after point. I mean, it was fake money and we were going crazy.

It was awesome. And then Stroop had a good role too. Stroop had – those are the two that really – I mean, people were making – and Nate got out early. Nate got out early, went over to the roulette wheel, hit like – you know, you bet black or red, right? Yeah. Nate bets like 25 and hits it, which is like a 40 to 1 payout or something. Yeah. So Nate just starts –

He starts betting so specifically that his winnings just start compiling exponentially to a point where- He won all the money. He had more than all the other comics combined. Nate just started dominating his own casino. Do you think, for any of you guys, this might have really sparked some type of gambling addiction that you'll now carry over each time you- Oh, he was there. Yeah, Greg already had it. He was already there. Yeah.

Like you win with fake money. Right. So you're like, well, what can I do with real? I'm a little worried about some of those guys at that, that craft can do because it's a, it's a powerful game. Yeah. And I saw a couple of guys that had not played before that wrapped up in it. Like, do you think we're going to see Nick Novecki's eventual collapse? That's as happy as I'll ever be right now. Yeah. Yeah.

Now Vicky was awesome. He's going to be chasing this dragon now. Yeah. And we're going to see him go completely down. Okay. That's not a flattering picture. I, uh,

Look at me counting my chips there. I got baits. Yeah. Have you ever heard the song, The Gambler? You don't count your chips. I was going to ask Dusty if he had his top gambling country songs. I figured he did, but The Gambler's got to be up there. Well, Gambler's got to be number one. I mean, I don't know a lot of gambling country songs, but Gambler's got to be number one.

All right. Let me, let me, and here's the thing I want to, I want to preface this because my buddy Joe, who's a poker guy told me that I think Norm McDonald discussed this on the Kimmel show. So I don't want to, I'm not stealing. Maybe I already discussed the song coward of the County. Okay. Maybe he did. I just, maybe I heard it. So I don't know. And I don't do this in my act, but I have made a point for a very long time. Somebody who is an avid gambler,

The gambler starts out and Kenny Rogers tell you about how much he learned from the gambler. You learn nothing about gambling from the song. Oh yeah. Nothing. He didn't give up his secrets. Now one specific thing, you got to know when to hold them. Okay. But when, when, when, when you got to know when to fold them, when. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And the only thing they say in Bates Violated, the only thing they say is,

You never count your money until the deal is done. When you're sitting at the table, you never count your money. Which I think is... It's time enough for counting when the deal is done. Okay, there you go. I don't think there's any... That's the one piece of advice he gave and it's stupid advice. You think you're playing poker one time and they'd be like, I'm all in. How much you got?

I can't tell you. Kenny said, I'm not supposed to count my money. You know what I'm saying? You've learned nothing. That's true. And this guy knows so much. He knows everything about gambling. And this so-called gambler takes the last bit of his liquor, smokes his last cigarette, and then dies on the train. Right there. Yeah. Without having given any of his secrets. So this guy came away from this whole thing, which

Sounds like kind of an afternoon, really, like a long period of time. And he walked away with not one shred of information about gambling. Yeah. Great song, though. It is. It's a good song. And the Maverick, good gambling movie.

Mel Gibson. That's a great gambling. And James Garner. James Garner. Yeah. And then Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster. I think so. Either Jodie Foster or Helen Hunt. It's Jodie Foster. Man, that was kind of a riverboat gambling. Clint Black was in it. He was? I met Clint Black.

Well, he's got a song. Clint Black? Yeah, at the Opry. We're friends now, kind of. Good. I don't have his number, and I'll probably never talk to him again, but we had a moment. It's better than me and Chipper Jones. Yeah. In the middle of my Chipper Jones story, I had to figure out that I didn't meet Chipper Jones. He just got rejected by his wife. Yeah, I didn't even get rejected. Once I heard it was Chipper Jones' wife, I didn't. Waylon Jennings is in The Maverick. He gets kicked out for cheating. Yeah.

Man, he's good. Yeah. And from We Are The World. He left him that. Yeah. That's a good story. You know, he was, Waylon Jennings was, they had compiled this big list of popular musicians of the day. And Waylon Jennings was one of those. And they started singing We Are The World. And he's like,

He's like, I don't do stuff like this. And then he just walked off. Have you seen the documentary? I heard a little bit about it. It's very fun. So Will and Jennings didn't even make it through the first day? No. Well, it was an all night thing. And about halfway through, he's like, I'm out of here. And you see him like walk out. Just leave. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Yeah. Clint Black had a popular song from that movie. That was a gambling song. Yeah.

Are there other gambling songs? I don't know a lot of them. Trudy by Trudy. Oh, Trudy. Oh, Trudy.

Trudy's better than the gambler by Charlie Daniels. Trudy. I'll check that out. Call up Trudy on the telephone. People love when I sing on this podcast. Yeah, I'm already in on this one. Send her a letter in the mail. One shot, Aaron, where it was just you celebrating. Everyone else is just straight face and it doesn't matter. But there's a timetable of the excitement we're having there. Justin only played roulette. He knows his game. How do you do?

He did all right, but Nate just walked over and just started dominating. He went on a tear that I've never seen before. A gambling movie that is really underrated. Rounders? Rounders is...

I think it's the best movie. It's not the best gambling movie. It's the best movie. It's a fantastic movie. But everybody knows Rounders. This one, this guy. 21 with Kevin Spacey. Great book. Yeah, I was going to mention that. Yeah, great book, great movie. Who's the guy that was in Elizabethtown?

I don't even know. I've been to Elizabeth town. Uh, it's a movie. It's a movie star. Yeah. Um, sorry, man. You guys got, uh, it's Robert Duvall. Okay. Orlando bloom, Orlando bloom and Robert. I got to hit this bathroom real quick. Yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead. Uh, look, Orlando bloom or Robert Duvall. Yeah. Gambling. Okay.

Robert Duvall. They were in a movie called, oh, geez, golly, dude, this search engine stinks. Come on. Gamble movie. Stinks, dude. Why do you use that? Because it's the built-in browser with the, it's the built-in search engine with the browser I use. I think the word lucky is in the title. Yeah. Lucky seven. Lucky you.

It's called Lucky You. It is. Is it? Is this it? No, that isn't it. Oh, yeah. Is that it? Eric. No. Eric Bana. Drew Barrymore. Robert Duvall. Yes, I think that's it. Okay. Yeah. Lucky You. Yeah, it's a great movie. 2007. I love that movie, man. That's a good movie. Yeah. I've never even heard of it. You know, Bana, from what I heard, Bana's from Australia. I think Bana was a stand-up comic at one time. Really? Yeah, broke in as a stand-up comic. That's crazy. This movie lost.

40, about $47 million. And I like it. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. But it's like, do you imagine if you lost, do you think anyone lost their job? If you make a movie that loses 47 million, I don't know how this works. Yeah. You think people do lose their job? I would imagine. Yeah. Bit of a gamble making a movie. It can be. It can be. Yeah.

It was brought back in hot. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Thought of that in there. Yeah. I think he had to go to the bathroom. He needed to clear his head. Get back in the game, Dustin. Get back in the game. Yeah. Gambling movies are great, though. But you don't like gambling. No, no. But I like...

Yeah. I like gambling movies though. I like the, like a tombstone I just watched. I mean, not necessarily a gambling movie, but there's some card play. Yeah. A lot of gambling going on. I was just, I don't know if you heard lucky you check that out, man. Yeah. It's Robert Duvall and Eric Banna. And it's a good movie. Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore. I'm telling you a little kicker. Drew Barrymore lost a lot of money, but I don't know why. Yeah. Lost 47 million. Wow. You know, what about a casino? Uh,

Great movie. Yeah. Good. Although, yeah, you know, some movies are like too graphically violent for me. Yes, me too, man. And I think that's kind of what that is. But I like it. Goodfellas and Casino are both very good movies, but a little too much for me. And both good movies. And it's like everything's so fun and they're all doing great. And then you can just see like, oh, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, you guys are making some poor decisions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, and then it gets real bad. And I'm like, I don't necessarily love that part of the movie. What I always hated about Goodfellas is that the whole crew is like, don't get involved with drugs. We're just trying to look out for you. And then he does. He did. And then when he gets busted, he rats them all out. He gets to go to witness protection. They all go to prison. And I hate that.

I want them to just make

end it differently. Yeah, but that was a true story, wasn't it? Good fellas. Henry Hill. I'd like him to end it differently, though. Just give me an alternate ending. And then the same for the movie Blow with Johnny Depp. That movie, it ends so sad that I can't even enjoy it. I can't rewatch the movie. It's heartbreaking at the end. Especially now that I have kids, I think it would just... It would kill you. Yeah, I couldn't do it. Yeah, and he's... I can't even remember it.

And the thing is, you're rooting for a drug dealer all the time. I know. You're just like, oh, this was just the last bust. This is the last deal. Oh, one more time. And he was about to go straight, man. And they sold him down there. It was a Pee Wee Herman that sold him. Yeah, Pee Wee Herman, yeah. Pee Wee Herman sold him down the river. Yeah. Yeah. Rest his soul. Yeah. Tell us about AG1. Oh.

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at drinkag1.com slash nate that's drinkag1.com slash nate check it out are you kidding me i mean this guy just might have knocked you off the top it was like he was throwing a no hitter the whole time and you're like don't don't mess it up that was passionate it was a perfect game and i'm like dude

he may just land this thing. I don't even know what happened to me there. I felt like I was delivering a sermon. It was like Aaron, I mean, the slick and the smoothest Aaron, but it felt like it was your friend. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It was like angels in the outfield situation. Somebody carried you through that. It was, man. A lot came together on that one. Christopher Lloyd. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Yeah. We'll talk about some... Danny Glover. Do's and don'ts at the casino? No. All right. I'm just kidding. I'll tell you one of my favorite casino stories. All right. I was working... He's really like, no, I don't want to talk about that. Well, I hope this is... I thought we covered it. No, no, no. I mean, I'm... Sorry. Well, we were...

gambling, playing some blackjack. I was a feature act. There was a club called Joey's in the Detroit area. Just get to the nuts and bolts. Okay. All right. Anyways, so we're at the casino. We're at the casino in Detroit. It's me and that man. This is tough. I'm going to stay in the pocket like Dusty did on that ad. Go ahead. Do whatever you want, mate. Try to throw me off my game. So we're sitting there as me and the headliner, Mark Britton.

And we're sitting there and we're playing blackjack. And there's this other guy down at the other end of the table. Doesn't say one word to us. I mean, we're playing for a good hour. He doesn't say one, barely even looks at us the whole time. Okay. And Britton gets all excited because he's winning. All right. He's kind of an emotional guy. And he goes, I'm up $500. I'm up $500, man. I'm going to call my girlfriend. And the guy down the table goes, don't tell that woman nothing.

That's your money. I love that. That's why King Roger should have been spouted. He said, that's your money. Because you know that guy had made that mistake before, right? He's seen it. And he's going to lose it now anyway. Young man, young man, that's your money. The first time I ever really went to...

a gambling thing and Alabama gambling is illegal, but somehow in shorter Alabama, there's the dog track called victory land and it's legal. It's been, I don't know, grandfathered in, in some way. So it's legal to go bet on dogs. So me and my buddies, we were like 21 and we, we were finally able to get in and we wanted to go. And I had it pictured like, uh,

Like, what's the horse racing? Kentucky Derby. Kentucky Derby. I thought that's what it was going to be. Big hats. Yeah, this is the Alabama Derby. Yeah, I thought this was going to be. Dog racing. And I get in there and I'm like, whoa, this feels unsafe. You know?

This is not. Unsavory candy. I thought we were going to pick up some women. You're like, I just want to get a mint julep. Yeah. And you're like, you can get a Coors Light if you're lucky. And so that's what we did. We just kind of drank. And me and one of my buddies, we just were like, yeah, we'll bet on a dog. You know, we don't know what to do. And then there was this guy there named Butch. And he had like suspenders missing some teeth. Oh, yeah. And he was like, he's like, I'll help you.

So my friend, he helped my friend. He was like, pick this, this one to do this, this one to do this. Yeah. So my friend was like, all right, yeah, I'll do it. And we were like, and I just remember really being interested in Butch, but I was like, I'm not messing with this guy.

And my friend won pretty big. Yeah. Like, Butch knew what he was doing. Yeah, he did. And then, you know, Butch is like, well, now I want my cut. Oh, Butch wanted to... Yeah. Like 10%. I knew there was going to be something in this room. I knew there was a catch. Yeah. But it's like, you know, me and my friend lost. We won nothing. My other buddy won big. So he gave Butch 10%. And then we...

you know, felt scared in the parking lot and then made our friend buy us Waffle House. Let me ask you this. Did Butch mention that 10% up front? I don't believe so. Yeah. Of course not. And I think they, I think Butch lived in a hotel and just worked the victory land every day. I'm going to say it was a motel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would bet a motel. Yeah.

I went to the dog track once and I didn't know what I do. I said, what did I do here? And a dog, uh, they're walking them out to the, the box, I guess. Yeah. One of the dogs pooped on the track. Yeah. That supposedly means he's going to have a good race. Yeah. Guy said, bet on that dog. He's lighter. You know, he feels lighter. I did. And he finished like next to last. Yeah. It's like the other dogs are just pooping in the, in the stall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I get very intimidated when I go to a casino because I don't know what I'm doing. I'm afraid I'm going to mess up. Come with me, man. I'll show you around. I know this weekend. I mean, the most intimidating game of all to me is crap. It is an intimidating game with a lot of ins and outs. And I didn't, I wasn't there for the beginning when you were giving people the rules. So the whole time I'm on that table, I have no idea what's going on. I just do whatever you do. And you would be like, double down on something. Back up your bet. Back up your bet. I have no idea. You bet that you bet the pass line.

And then once you establish a point, you can double that behind it. And that's the best odds in the entire casino is backing up your bet on the pass line. Best odds. I still don't know what that means, but I would just ask, what's the number? You'd be like, Bates, you don't say the number. Oh, yeah. Bates. Yeah, Bates just throwing around.

What about seven? Don't say seven. That's the one thing that you do not want to say at this table. That's right. All these superstitions. Don't say seven. Yeah, don't ever say it. It's the only thing you really can't say. Now, before they establish the point,

If you hit the seven or the 11, it pays. Right, right. Novicki hit about six in a row. Yeah, it's crazy. It was nuts, man. It was crazy. It was unbelievable. And him shaking up the dice and throwing it. Which completely they would not let happen in Vegas. Oh, really? You can't grab the dice with two hands.

I mean, because we were playing with fake money, there was some, you know, you, and you. Why? Because they think you might slip something in. Yes. Yeah. You grab that, you grab it with one hand and that same hand is the one you toss it with. Yeah. There's two hands there. Oh, okay. Oh boy. So you could shake it up though with one hand. Sure, man. A lot of, a lot of people think if you get a pretty girl to blow on it, blow on the dice, that that helps you. You guys are jerks. I got it.

If you get a pretty girl to blow on the dice... There you go. You guys are jerks. That's just... You need to grow up, both of you. Sophomoric. It is. It is. It is. You guys need to grow up. I didn't know what you were talking about. I played blackjack recently and the dealer said, don't touch them with both hands, the cards. You can only hold the cards with one hand. That's... I think you might have been playing single deck blackjack or something like... There is...

I've heard that. In fact, somebody was doing that the other night too. You know what's the interesting thing about casinos is I was like you, Brian. You're a little intimidated. You're in this world where there's so much going on. And there's money involved. And there's real money involved. What surprised me, the first time you sit down at a blackjack table specifically –

They will kind of talk you through what to do. They'll tell you what to do. The blackjack is rigged in such a way that even if they tell you the smartest move to do in every hand, which they will if you ask them, they're still going to end up winning in the long run. How do you think it's rigged? It's not rigged. It's just the game is designed in such a way that the odds are the house always wins. I think when that backing up your backhand.

bet on the craps or the pass line, you got like the old house only has like a 1% or a 3% advantage. And some of these other games, they have a higher advantage. Okay. Blackjack. I will tell you, they will, they'll tell you, they'll tell you what it was. A movie like Brewster Baker or something like that. A Burt Reynolds gambling movie where he was playing craps and it was like, it was like the big, like he had won so much money. And I think he like won,

backed up his bed or something. Let it ride. And it was like, he would have, he would have like came out like a millionaire. I got to see this. It's a very good movie. Yeah. Do you know, do you know a Burt Reynolds gambling movie? Burt Reynolds is gambling. I'm in. Yeah. It's really good. Yeah. The Burt Reynolds gambling movie is, oh boy, Heath.

You got to get rid of the search engine. This is terrible. Mississippi Grind. Mississippi Grind is a gambling movie. I don't think that's the name of it. Deal. Look up Burt Reynolds Brewster. Deal in 2008. It's an older movie. How many gambling movies is Burt Reynolds in?

Apparently a few. Well, you've got a lot of race car movies. Yeah. I think he's 37. Stroke of Race. Another great Charlie Daniels. Yeah, I mean, all nine of the Smokey and the Bandit movies. Cannonball Run. Cannonball Run. Yeah. Eastbound and Down. Yeah, that's Smokey and the Bandit. Smokey and the Bandit, yeah. Oh, yeah. Jerry Rhee has a gambling song.

Does he? That's not eastbound and down? No, it's a very... I can't believe I'm drawing a blank on it. Sometimes you're hot and sometimes you're not. Oh, yeah. What's it? I forgot the name of it. I think it's just... Man, you guys, this is good. I got a lot to check out. When you're hot, you're hot. When you're not, you're not. In Blackjack, though, I will tell you guys...

The one thing, my brother's a big time blackjack player, plays a lot. You don't want to sit there and bet the same thing. Is that me? I'm sorry.

Yeah, that's really unprofessional. Oh my goodness. I'm begging you guys to let me stay. And I'm going to say right now, you tell me to get up and walk out. That's the right thing. Well, if Nate were here, then, you know, we're not going to. Yeah. We don't enforce those kind of rules. Nate would shop. Yeah, Nate doesn't play. Under the table. Yeah.

Oh, man. Two for two now. Going off the Vanderbilt? We're going to edit out the last 90 seconds here and save your face a little bit. Yeah, thanks. But when you're playing back blackjack, you can't just sit there and bet the same amount

all session long because there's, and I don't understand why, but if you're betting 10 bucks a hand, eventually they're going to grind you down. If you're betting 10 bucks a hand every now and then, you got to step up and bet a hundred bucks on one hand. Like you got to go crazy every now and it's,

It gets you going. And that's what's exciting. Yeah, you got it. But you have to vary the bet. And one of the ways that you can vary the bet is when you have a chance to split the cards or double down, you do it. But even just that, the other way my brother says that you can vary the bet is if you tie, if you push, double the push. So if you're betting 20, that next hand you bet 40. Wow.

I don't know if there's any logic to that. But every now and then, you got to go crazy with a bet. I just watched the movie Swingers the other night. That's great. It's really funny. They're going to the casino. He's like, I got 400 bucks, but I don't want to spend all of this. And then they go, they take 200 to the blackjack table and they order a drink. They lose at the blackjack table before the drink even comes back. Because he told them to double down. Yeah. He's like, you always double down on...

on whatever yeah yeah yeah and all those rules they're you're still gambling sure you know like if i don't know who i was with but like based on blackjack everything that you don't see you count it as a 10 okay so if the dealer's showing six that means he's probably got 16 and his next card is probably going to be 10 and he's got 26 so he's going to bust yeah so don't

take a card unless, you know, if you, you know, don't take a card if it's a decision because he's going to bust probably. Now that,

There's a decent chance he won't, but there's a better chance that he will. Yes. And the dealer will kind of, if you go, should I hit here? And they go, well, the book says you do. Yeah, yeah. And they just go, like, if you're playing it where you want to do statistically your best move, this is what you would do right here. And they'll tell you. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, I do know that, but it's still intimidating when there's other people at the table you don't know. Yeah.

You know what? They're also, they're in a different financial situation than you two. That's where it's going to get. That's my brother is big on that, man. Like those people at that table when they started, well, you shouldn't have done that. I guess this is my money and I will do whatever I want. Yeah. I'm already in here wasting it.

Okay. I shouldn't have came in here. The book says, well, I don't, I know what the book says. I know what the book says better than you know what the book says. And I don't even like reading about the book in here. Yeah. And I still am deciding on this hunch. I'm going against the book. So shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You shouldn't be talking to me. I'm trying to bet here. I'm a gambler. There's a story about Kevin Brennan. You guys know the comic Kevin Brennan.

I don't know exactly how it went, but apparently he was sat down at the blackjack table and there was a lot of Asian people at the blackjack table. And they were, I think they were speaking Chinese. Okay. And, and, and Brendan was getting annoyed with it. Cause you know, like they're talking about him or what are talking about what's going on. So Brendan said, said, I put a curse on the cards and,

He said he put a curse on the cards. And the people at the table got, they're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. They got really upset that Brennan put a curse on the cards. And so they were telling the dealer, he's got to take the curse off the cards. And Brennan said something like, I don't know how to take curse off. I only know how to put it on. You just get up and leave at that point? Yeah, yeah. I think that would work on Dusty.

Yeah. Well, I don't gamble, but I was just at a casino. What blows my mind is the slot machines. One time I was at a casino, I put $20. I was just like, I'm bored. I'm going to do $20 and I'm just going to play the slot machine. My money was not even gone yet before I was like, just run the money out.

I was so bored with this. That's why we got to play some cards. Oh yeah. I was so bored with this button push. Let's go play some cards. That, that I just don't understand how this is what people do. People will, they travel to casinos to just play the slots. Yeah. I don't love slots. Worst odds. I read slot machines. Yeah. Video poker is real addictive. Yeah. But it's,

It's mainly luck, right? Yeah, it is. Video poker, there's a little skill in it. There's some skill in video poker. But I mean, just pushing that button and the thing's just turning. I don't even know what I'm looking for. One time I won. I did this twice. First time I put in 20.

And then I went through it and I won $20. I think this was with you. Yeah, yeah. In Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan. Oh, yeah. It's way up there. So I won 20 bucks. So I cashed out. And then the next casino we were at, I did it again and I lost it. You lost it all real quick. I mean, play some cards, I think. I'm not into, I don't, I'm afraid that I'll, I mean, I got some. Because you have an addictive personality. Yeah, I think so. That's why I never did drugs. I was like, I'll just do, I'll probably wind up doing a lot of them.

But I will say there's this game called Buffalo Hunters or Buffalo...

Buffalo. Duck Hunter? No. No, that's a, I think that's a, I don't think that's. I'm really good at that. I'm pretty sure that's not a gambling, it's not a casino game. Not the way I played. Yeah, you played it wrong, Greg. I get after it. Yeah. Imagine this. Imagine that, the guy with the orange hat and the camo. Yeah. This is your old product, dude. I'm repping an old Greg Warren product, the Sunny D hat. Sunny's a great product. Sunny D, that was my orange juice. Made mimosas. I drank a lot of Sunny D. Did you? Yeah, as a kid.

California style or Florida citrus punch? Probably Florida citrus. Yeah, Florida citrus is the regular. We always supported more southern things. We had both. We probably had. Winn-Dixie, yeah, for sure. Winn-Dixie, I bet you we had. Bruno's. At one point we had. Bruno's, good supermarket. It was a good store. I like the Harris Teeter.

Harris Teeter's real nice. Like upscale. Harris Teeter's real nice. You shot the Harris Teeter growing up? In Charleston. No. Oh, I was going to say in Opelika. I was like, you didn't have a Harris Teeter. No, no. Piggly Wiggly or something. Piggly Wiggly and Winn-Dixie. Dollar General. Winn-Dixie. I bet you we had 17, 18 SKUs in there. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. At one point.

Yeah, we love. Do you ever do Save-A-Lot? No. Do you know that? I do know it. Save-A-Lot, yeah. That's one of my favorite things about traveling the country is the grocery stores are different. It's one of the last independent. It's awesome, isn't it? Cross-section of America. There you go. We don't have Bruno's here.

I don't think Bruno's is left. I haven't seen Bruno's in a while. It never existed here. I almost got the Bruno's account at one point. They were going to send me, I think, were they out of New Orleans maybe? They were going to send me, they were going to give me the Bruno's. You know, Stardome, there used to be, I think it was a Bruno's right there close to the club. Oh, really? And the first time I ever went on a road with Henry Cho, he's like, I got to run over here to this Bruno's. You can go with me. I got to get some things and...

We went over there and he got shampoo and I said, why don't you just use the shampoo in the hotel? He's like, I ain't using that hotel shampoo on this hair. I mean, he does have real. He does. Good looking head of hair. I'm like, maybe that's why. Yeah. Kroger brand shampoo. Yeah. Bruno's used to own Piggly Wiggly.

No. Yeah. Really? During the company's pinnacle, it operated over 300 stores under the name Bruno's, Food World, Food Max, Food Fair, Fresh Value, Piggly Wiggly. I remember Food Max. Yeah. I remember there was a Winn-Dixie by my house in Montgomery, and that was the go-to spot. And I remember the day that a Publix opened across the street, and it was just countdown to when Dixie's done. Yeah.

Yeah, and they had good spirits about it at first. I remember asking them, are you guys worried? And they go, no, we've got a loyal customer base here. People have been shopping here for years, and it's just...

Yeah. Could you see the cracks in what they were saying? Oh, man. I could see it in their faces. I thought they'd know it's over, dude. It's over. There's just fewer and fewer cars in the parking lot. And then I remember we moved to Tennessee, and I thought, how's that Winn-Dixie doing? And I looked it up on Google Maps, and it was not there anymore. And I thought, man. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to say this. I mean, and there's still some Winn-Dixie down in some markets. Opelika's still got one. Really? You're my mom's house. Yeah. They're no match for a Publix. No, it is true. Yeah. Honestly, when I go to that Winn-Dixie and Opelika, I'm like, geez, you got none of the things I normally get. It stinks. Yeah.

You know what is going to stick around? Helix. Oh, yeah. Okay. We got to get in somehow. That was smooth, man. I don't even know what you're doing. Yeah. I was like, what grocery store is Helix? I love my Helix sleep mattress and pillows.

What is great is you get to take a Helix sleep quiz and get matched with the perfect mattress for you. I have a Helix mattress, and it just gets better every night. Not only is it the best mattress I have slept on, but the setup was fast and easy. Helix mattresses are delivered in a box and straight to your door for free.

I like Helix mattress. I do like it. I wanted to make that dramatic and I was trying to really bring you guys into it. It works. You did. Don't comment on it. But I like a Helix mattress. I'm a big fan. I have a Helix mattress and the Helix pillows are top notch. I sleep on a Helix. I have several Helix pillows. I keep them. I got one in my daughter's room. I got one in the guest bedroom. I got one in my personal bedroom. That way I can sleep on one wherever I go and I don't have to move it around.

Are they varying softness or just one level of softness? You know, someone asked me which Helix pillow I have. And I said, I don't know. And then I looked on the tag for some type of indicator of what it is. And it's not there. But the Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including their award-winning Lux and Ultra Premium Elite collections. They even have a Helix Kids mattress designed for...

Growing bodies, I guess designed for growing bodies. That four is not written in here, but designed for growing bodies and endorsed by child sleep experts. How do you know which mattress is best for you? Just take the Helix Sleep Quiz and find your perfect mattress in under two minutes.

You know, they have a hundred. I don't know that this is written well, so I'm going to have to. No, we don't know. Well, it says on stop of that. I guess that's on top of that. On top of that, they offer a hundred night trial and a 10 to 15 year warranty. Don't believe me? Well, Helix has over 12,000 five-star reviews.

I just want everyone to know, Helix did not write this. Of course. Well, hey, man. I think you did a great job, but there's no need to... I just want everyone to know that Helix... We're too transparent is what you're saying. I'm just saying you don't throw the copywriter under the bus. This is it. I think you're taking shots at Abigail. You still think he's better than me? This is it. Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash nate.

That is helixsleep.com slash nate. This is their best offer yet, and it will not last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. It's a great salesman. You maybe want to take a look at the product. You maybe want to buy it.

But it was some of the tactics that came out when you were selling it. Right, it's true. It was a little dishonorable. His character started to show. Aaron would have covered for whoever was writing it. Aaron would have been like, I'm sorry, I'm messing this up. He would not have just been like, hey, I don't care.

It's in me. It's not my fault. You're right about that. A real leader, when things are bad, a real leader steps forward, right? Yeah. And when things are good, they step back and let other people enjoy it, right? That was a moment where you needed to step up. This is a real learning moment for me. I agree. I hope it is. I want to apologize to everybody. What about me? You too. I think of you as a person. So when I say everybody, I do include you in there.

that's gotta feel good you know what it does feel good yeah man and i think you have grown i don't think you're that same dirt ball back there pushing pushing other people's products to the back you know and to be fair whoever wrote this they counted on me to be able to cover if they had a few typos that's right yeah i'd like to think

If they were reading your copy, they would not have said anything about it. That's true. And it would have been a lot of trouble for them to read. Well, I don't want to end on a Helix mattress ad. So could you pull up that casino etiquette?

Do's and don'ts. I just want to get Greg's opinion on a couple of these. I need you to write for probably five seconds. I looked at one before we get to that. Was this written by John Rape?

AI. You know, he had the fan etiquette. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he did? Yeah. Yeah, we did a whole episode. Oh, I got to check that one out. On sports fans. Oh, I got to check that out. Yeah, it's a good one. I'm a big John Reed fan. Very funny guy. Great actor too, man. Really good. He is good. So I was just reading something about casinos and it said that before there was gambling, before there was currency.

Before there was money, there was- Wow. Yeah, yeah. So some guy was like, man, how'd it go last night? Oh, man, I lost like seven chickens. Oh, wow. They were bartering. You know, another gambling movie, not a gambling movie, but it has gambling as a big thing, Legend of the Falls. Remember that with Brad Pitt? Yeah. And he had a real gambling issue in that.

movie. Oh, yeah, man. This was a real old school game when they had currency, but it's still real old school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Up there in Montana. Yeah. You get mixed up. It's River Runs Through It. River Runs Through It. Great movie. They are both great and they're both Brad Pitt and they both have, you know. Both in Montana, I think. Yeah. You think it was River Runs Through It where he had the game with Primer or was it Legend of Fall? I thought it was Legend of Fall. It's the one where he goes, what's in the box? Right? Isn't that it? Yeah, probably so.

The one where his dad had the... I'm not sure you're right on this, man. I am right, Greg. I'm always right. His dad had the stroke and his wife's a secret agent like him.

It's Mr. and Ms. Smith. He's talking to himself the whole time. It's not two people. It's him the whole time. No, that's Fight Club, I think. And he's talking and he said, we're killing Nazis. That's the one. And then he's like, he's got a lot of tattoos and he's a really good fighter, even though. He's a piker, wasn't he? Yeah. Oh, that's wild. Is that right?

That is right. True romance, I think, when he was a stoner. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Ocean's Eleven, the ultimate casino movie that he was in. Was that about a casino? Oh, yeah. I thought it was like a... Actually, Ocean's Thirteen is my favorite, I think. Yeah.

With the girls? Shut up. That's Ocean's 8. Actually, that is better. Okay. I forgot about that one. Then Ocean's 13. I forgot about that one. Oh, 13, they go back to a casino and then destroy it. 13, I think that one is, yeah. Al Pacino. Yeah, and yeah, he comes back as Scarface. I like Billy Ocean actually quite a bit. Yeah. Caribbean Queen. Get out of my dreams, get into my car. Very good story. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. What about- Blue Crush. Is about the ocean. Is about the ocean. Yeah. And some of the dangers within the ocean. Yeah. A lot goes on there. Yeah. It's not a gambling movie, but there's a big scene in it in Rain Man where he counts cards. Oh, yeah. I would say it's a gambling movie. You would? Yeah. Yeah. The great scene with him in the- There's cinematic when they're- Come down to LA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And when they're dressed up together. Yeah. Yeah. So is that possible to count cards like that?

I think it is definitely possible. And it's not illegal, but they will throw you out for it. And it's not as difficult. I mean, I couldn't do it, but it's not as difficult as you might think. You don't have to be a rain man to be able to do it. You can be Kevin Spacey. Pretty smart. Oh, Spacey was the one that taught. He did it a little bit. Sure, a real story. Who was the guy, though? Kevin Spacey.

We just covered that. You're right. Should have been listening. You know, he was, same guy was also a space alien. I don't know if you ever, you knew that. K-Pax. Miles. Did you see that? Miles Teller? Did not care for that movie. He didn't like K-Pax. Never got the point of it.

And maybe I was just too young. I did not like that movie. Did you guys see K-Pax? No, I didn't even hear this. I kept wondering when it was going to. Is it a serial? What is it? It's Kevin Spacey as an alien. Well, you don't know if he's an alien or not. You get pretty much toward the end that he's just schizophrenic. I think he was an alien. Sounds like a good movie then. All right. It's not. It's not. I think it is. It's not a good movie.

I just told you a good movie, Lucky Whatever. Go see that. Lucky Whatever. Look up Lucky Whatever. I don't know that K-Pax lost $47 million, though. Yeah. Maybe lost $30 million. All right. We'll do a couple of these. Lost my interest about 10 minutes in. Don't have your cell phone out. Yeah. This is a good podcast etiquette, too, Greg. I'm sorry, guys. No excuse for what I did. No excuse.

I saw this firsthand a few weeks ago. It was with Nate. We went to Casino after the show. There was a UFC fight that he wanted to watch. So we're at the table. He's watching on his phone. New dealer comes over and says, sir, you can't have that. Yeah, it's not etiquette, but you can't. That's rules because they think you're cheating. So Nate got up and left. He wanted to watch the UFC fight. Yeah, he should know better.

You can't. And Nate gambles. That's embarrassing. Not a ton, but it's very embarrassing. He'll play a little bit of cards. He should know better. That's why he's not here this week. I think just sheer embarrassment of that moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nate, you're not the king of everywhere you go. There's still rules in the casino. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't push a dealer around like he's broke. That guy had it out for Nate, I think. That security guard did an open mic with Nate back in the day. Oh, did he? Yeah, I think so. Probably right. I mean, maybe did an open mic with Nate.

You guys, because you had some real negative things to say about some...

specific open mic people early no stop stop that's just good fun that's just good fun i'm reading through some of these i'll tell you when i learned the hard way at the st louis casino uh you know your instinct is to touch the cards and i touch my cards and she goes we ain't at home baby whoa i don't understand why can't you touch them when you're playing blackjack you can't touch your cards at all what you don't touch yes you can what are you talking about

Yes, you can. How do you flip it? Were you playing Ultimate Texas Hold'em? I was playing Blackjack. You can, well, maybe. Yeah, maybe you're right. I don't like a dealer that gives you that kind of attitude. Texas Hold'em, you could. I want you to tell me not to touch the cards, but don't say we ain't at home. You don't know where I live. I don't.

I should have snapped back. Hey, you don't know where I live. Go ahead and get out of here. I think I should have been like, you know what? This guy's pretty good. If you're playing Ultimate Texas Hold'em, which is my favorite casino game, you're all playing Texas Hold'em against a dealer. You're not playing against each other. It's an awesome game. It's a sucker game, but it's an awesome, it's real fun. But they'll deal your cards.

And she has to say when you can look at your cards. Okay. You know, so that, that reminds me of something like when you're at home, like I would, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then, yeah. Then she'll be like, okay. Yeah. Casino night with Nate.

everything's a little more lax. Oh, yeah. Everything's fair. You can pretty much do whatever. Yeah. Oh, I'm... No, Vicky's... Yeah. I mean, two-handed dice card. The craps dealer. I don't know if you saw. He got a little overwhelmed at one point. He did? There were so many people around the table. There's so many things to keep track of if you're running the craps table. You got to know where everybody's bets are. At one point, there's like 30 people around the table. He broke. And somebody tries to buy in. He goes, okay. Okay.

Everybody has to keep track of their own stuff now. He did. At capacity. He did. Wow. He did, man. We broke him. I felt so bad. I felt bad for him. It was so much. And then once it died down, he cooled down a little bit. No, he was a good guy. Yeah, he was a good guy. He just got overwhelmed. I get it. I mean, he

And he was also telling us that it was in his blood. Like his dad was a craps tailor or something. Oh, I didn't know. I don't know if his dad taught him that. He broke. You guys got to keep track of your own stuff. Which, at a real casino, you'd have been like, okay, I'll keep track of my own stuff. Pretty sure I won on that one. Whenever you say something... That's what Greg said when he said that. You say something like that, I'm in my blood. It's in my blood. It's not going to go well. You got too cocky. Anytime I've ever...

gone out a little bit over my skis, uh, life really slaps me back down pretty quickly. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm up here criticizing ad reads and then my phone goes off and I look like the jerk. Yeah. I know. We want to wrap it up? I think we should wrap it up. Where's everybody going to be this weekend? Well, you know what? I'm off for a little while. I got, I'm going to do the, this weekend I'm off. I could be working, but I did take the time off. Next weekend though, uh,

12th, 13th and 14th. I'm doing three nights at the Opry. Um, yeah. And I just want to say, because this is a casino episode, I'm going to be in, this is way down the road, but tickets are available. The rodeo is going to be in Las Vegas. They're having a big rodeo and I'm doing a show, uh,

No way. Well, I don't have the place that I'm doing a show and I forgot where it is. I'm in Vegas on December 12th at a theater. That's a huge gig, man. Yeah, it's really big. I'm really pumped about it. So December 12th and the tickets are on sale now. So I'll be in Vegas. Pure country. Yeah. During the rodeo. Wasn't that where with the Vegas rodeo? Pure country? You know what?

I'm ashamed to say, even though it's George Strayed and the character's name's Dusty, I've never actually watched Pure Country. It's a great movie. I'm ashamed to say. Great soundtrack. I've listened to the soundtrack many times. It's a great movie. I'd recommend you do that. I should see it. Before the lucky you. This one made money.

July 27th. I don't think I've ever headlined a show in Knoxville, Tennessee. I'm open for a lot of people in Knoxville, Tennessee. Alley Rays, Gastropub. Nice. Going to do a show there July 27th. So please come to that. Greg, have you done that? I'm doing it in August. Okay. Well, come to my show first. Yeah. Go see Bates. Yeah. I've done it. It's great. It's a great venue. Yeah, yeah. The guy, Adam Aaron runs it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's awesome.

So that's July 27th, July 30th, 31st. I'm at Off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida. Oh, yeah. I love that club. Yeah. I do like, they have great food. Yeah. The guy was very nice to me. I love the shows. Yeah. Yeah. Is that Captain Brian? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was very nice to me. He liked my show and then he called his parents and told his parents that they would like me and they came and watched me too. That's cool. Yeah. That's like the ultimate. Yeah. Yeah.

And August 1st, I'm going to be at Boca Black Box in Boca Raton. Oh, man, that's supposedly a great place. I hope so. I've never been. Yeah, man, I've heard real good things about that. Awesome. So I'm looking forward to it. I expect the same enthusiasm with my gigs. I'm about to plug right here. The Aaron Weber No Nonsense Tour continues July 13th, Lake Forest, Illinois, at the Gorton Center. All right. Huh? What's the Gorton Center? I don't know. I've never been, but I'm excited. And then here's a big one. St. Louis, Missouri. Ah.

hometown of Greg Warren. I was just there with Nate. I plugged my show all weekend. My show at the helium sold out. This is impressive. September 15th, Sunday night, it's sold out. We added a matinee show. We doubled down. I've doubled down. Uh, is it a mistake? Maybe we'll see, but we're going to fill that. We added a matinee show, September 15th, St. Louis, Missouri at the helium comedy club. See you there. I couldn't be more proud of that. It,

Cause he sold it out quick on a Sunday. That's really good. We're going to, we're going to fill that three o'clock show. Yeah. Way to go. What about you, Greg? Uh, this weekend I'll be at the improv in Tempe, Arizona. Love that. Yeah. Uh, a fun place. Um, uh, the following weekend I'm going to Fort worth, uh, and doing a comedy club there. And I can't remember. Hyenas. No, it's got the word laugh in it.

Oh, I know that. I know the people. It's a new club. It's a big laugh. You're in Austin, I think, right? I think it's a big laugh. Okay. And I have not been to the Dallas-Fort Worth metro area in a long time, and I'm pretty fired up. I love it there, though. Yeah, yeah. And one more thing, because I don't get in here very often. I know you guys got a lot of fans in Nashville. I'll be coming back to Zaney's in August. Oh, yeah. I love that night. Yeah, man. You know what night in August? Nope. I believe it's August 21st.

Thanks, Brian. You're welcome. That's awesome. Look at that. That's what I'm talking about. I try to keep up with what everybody's doing. Yeah. I have a zany show August 13th. You can't just hop in. That's why I was wondering if it, because my July show is already sold out. So if you want to get tickets for that. The Dusty show? Yeah. I was just wondering if they were close by, I would see if you want to do that. Well, no, I'm coming in for one of those, man. Okay. Because it was one of my favorite things. The first one. I'm going to come in just because it's, I need to get to Nashville more often. I'm coming in for that Dusty show. I know Bates has a show.

Yeah, we're going to make a second round. Let me pull up my website real quick. My show tonight at Zany's is sold out at the live at Zany's. Tonight? Well, Wednesday. When this airs. Yeah, I mean, tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, tonight. Dusty is not on the show. Stupid, stupid. Yeah, I'm not on the show, but I have to go to Alabama.

But August 14th, the night after Dusty's show, I will be at another show at the Lab at Zany's. So come to that. I may do that one. Maybe Dusty can do that one. Yeah. I'm going to get in for a baits in a Dusty show. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe come for that. Do August 13th and 14th. Yeah. If I'm around, I will. Yeah. Yeah. I'd come for that. Yeah.

Second round, Aaron? No. July 18th to 20th, Cincinnati, Ohio. All right. Commonwealth Sanctuary. I'm stopping this thing. Once again, today's episode of the Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp, Chime, AG1, and Helix. Thank you very much. We're having a good time. God bless. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

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