191: #191 Airplanes, Applebees, and Jimmy Fallon
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Today's episode of the Nate Land podcast is brought to you by Viori, BetterHelp, Delete Me, and Helix Sleep. Hello folks, and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and Dusty Slick. All right. As usual. We're up in here. If you wanted something different, we're like, again. We're back. Yeah, you just go like, ugh.

Never get too much of a good thing, I think. People are like, this is a recipe that works. You can never give. Someone can't ever get enough of it. If you like it, you're like, keep doing that. We're like coffee. You drink coffee every day. You don't wake up and go, you know what? I'll have tea today. You want coffee. Also probably bad for you. Yeah. I'm not saying it doesn't rot your brain, but that's what you want.

All right. I agree. These are great points. Yeah, we're all on the same page here. Do you think you'll ever retire from comedy? Do you think you'll quit when you're on top or do you think you'll just fade away? That sounds awful. But I think about that sometimes. I think about that.

Not for myself, but I think about stand-up comedy is so young. There's not really like a playbook for how people end their careers or if they ever do. I mean, you thinking that far in the future? It's for both of y'all. I'll quit. Yeah, I mean, you're just waiting, right? The eclipse? Yeah. Well, you're like, I think there's a retirement plan. Like, you're trying to get your pension and then get out. Yeah. Whenever it kicks in. Yeah.

I think I will, I don't know. The thing that I love about stand-up is that I don't know, there is no ceiling. Yeah. And I don't know what's going to happen. You don't know what phone call you're about to get. You don't know what show you're about to get. And I've loved that since when it was nothing. Just, you know, I was getting a spot somewhere.

So that is, I mean, that's the most fun thing to that. Being addicted to that is like just being like, it just kind of keeps you going. Like you don't know what's going on. And so, I mean, I always thought I would know.

I just always felt that. I don't know if it was like, maybe I felt like God would tell, like, you know, you just would feel satisfied and go, that's enough. Yeah. I don't really feel like I need to go do anything else. And maybe then I still go do it, but maybe you're doing theaters and you're kind of just doing it like, you know, I enjoy it and whatever. But yeah, I don't know. I mean, I could see, you know, I mean, I have another big tour after this. It's not now because I have...

this finishes tour special come out and then And then I'll do that I don't know when the next the next tour will probably 2025 and I will be I'm just not sure if we'll be at the front or and start in the middle So if you wanna come out this is gonna be the last so I'll stop in July and then I bet I don't go out till

later in the year of 25. Maybe get into music, you know, start a band. I don't, I don't really like when people do that. Uh,

Poetry. Yeah, I don't know about that either. But I would maybe be okay with that more than band because I feel like a band, they're going to make you come. In poetry, people do it kind of quietly and privately, and they don't make you come. But when other people start a band, when you hear some guys, like, he's got a band on the side, you're like, ugh. Johnny Depp has a band or something like that. Oh, they all – yeah. And they go play, and you're just like, what are you doing, dude? You're making –

You're trying to make people go watch that now. Like, is it not enough? Have you not asked enough out of them to watch you do stand up? I like the idea that you have a band or something. I'm trying to pitch my, I like the idea that you come out and you go, I'm getting into slam poetry now. And everyone laughs. Oh, slam poetry. And everyone laughs. And then you do a poem and then they're like, well, that was funny. You really committed to that bit.

But then you do poetry the whole time and people are very confused. But they're also like, you know, he's pretty good at this. He becomes dice. I just like that idea of like, oh, he's really committed to this bit. Then you just do it. Yeah. Yeah. That's something that's funny as we say it right now. But in the moment, it would be pretty bad. Yeah. You know.

Well, we'll see how good the poems are. Now, what is slam poetry? I don't know. It just feels more aggressive than regular poetry. You said poetry. I thought like a sonnet. Like slam poetry is where you're like kind of rapping, but sometimes it's very good. But other times it's like when it's like real amateur, it's not very good, but you still have to pretend like it is. I can't imagine it's very good. Even if you're the top of the top, I'd imagine. Yeah.

I think if you're into it, you could see that it's good. It's like improv. Even if you get the top of the top, you're like, I had a fun time. I don't think you leave me. It's like, I'm different now. At least it wasn't. I had to follow slam poetry at a barbershop in Milan, Tennessee. It got so serious and so uncomfortable, I had to step outside the

I couldn't be in there when it was happening. Was it you cringing or like getting emotional? No, I was not getting emotional, but it was just too intense. It was such an intense energy. And I don't even know what the guy was talking about.

He's just yelling about stuff. So I had to step outside. I would go do poetry open mic. I would go do comedy at it once in a while in Charleston. There wasn't a lot of spots. And I would go, let me do comedy here. And it would go well. But sitting there waiting to go up was like that, where it was like, geez. Was it one of those places everybody snapped and stuff? No, they would still clap. But it was like.

he would get I would be like man you guys are sad the people writing the poems it's like you're real sad you're a sad bunch of people I bet you're into like Charles Bukowski I was into Charles Bukowski yeah who's that

It's like a guy writes about drinking. Yeah, he's a poet that's a real alcoholic. And they said he used to go and he would – such a bad alcoholic. He would pawn his typewriter for money, for booze, and then he would have to turn his poems into his publisher handwritten. Yeah. It was like way back, like a – I don't know, the 50s.

50s maybe even the 20s i don't know pretty different pretty different for sure maybe the 50s though i'm leaning towards the 50s maybe in the 40s now you just went straight to 20s i don't know the guy's whole bio but uh i was into his poems and i would yeah i would drink and read these poems and you know comedy did a lot for me yeah you know give me some direction you know what i mean yeah

Charles Bukowski is great, though, but it's a darkness. I don't even know a name anymore.

You can't name a poet? Shakespeare? Oh, yeah, I guess. Yeah, there you go. He's the big one. Oh, yeah. Is he a poet? What did you think about him? No one's even coming close to him. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? You've never heard that? Yeah, we talked about it once. Yeah, Shakespeare. There's a lot of nonsense. Yeah. But it's... What about nonsense? Well, the Romeo and Juliet, like it doesn't make sense. They say, he says it in a way that's like, well, he's not asking...

He should say it. Oh, wherefore art thou? We talked about that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you should do a poem poetry episode later. The Charles Bukowski thing is he didn't do rhyming poems. So they were just like little stories. And I always, I always. So he's an author. That's what I'm saying. Just say you write prose. He would do some short stories, but he is considered a poet. And I always liked it because it was like, you know, it was easier to read and understand. Yeah.

What's writing prose? Prose is just like regular writing. Like it's sentences, paragraphs, and like you're writing a story. Okay. And it's not artistic. The form isn't artistic at all. You know what I mean? Like you read a book, that's prose. Right. But if you're not trying to rhyme it, it's like, why do you, it's not poetry. Well, I guess there's a debate about that. I mean, I see what you're saying. Shakespeare wrote Julius Caesar.

Beware the Ides of March. You ever heard that? That's this Friday, March 15th. So the story, I guess it's a true thing. I mean, Julius Caesar was the most powerful person in the world. That's true. Maybe the most powerful person all time I read of any time in history. And a fortune teller told him, be careful the Ides of March. Something bad's going to happen to you.

And on that day, he was walking to a Senate meeting. He saw that guy on the street. He's like, hey, sides of March. Here we are. Kind of cocky. And the guy, the soothsayer, the fortune teller was like, the day ain't over yet. Shows up to Senate meeting. All his friends and colleagues stabbed him to death. So if you ever hear about where sides of March, that's right. And Brutus stabbed him at two Brut. Yeah. His friend. Yeah. Why did they stab him?

I think they just, he was gaining so much power and they didn't like the direction he was taking. A political assassination. Yeah. Including his best friend stabbed him. Was it 44 times or something crazy? Yeah. Yeah, he just got lit up. Brute was like, was it Brutus? Brutus, yeah. Yeah. I don't know if Brutus was just like, there's already been 38 stabs. You're like, well, I stopped now. Yeah, you're like, what's the difference? You know, you can't say you're like, dude, I gotta live. You know what I mean? Like,

Let's see how many I can do. Yeah, because I barely threw mine in. Yeah. No, I'm saying, but is it a lot of, like, was it all Brutus? It wasn't all Brutus. You're saying Brutus joined at the end just to be like, well, I got to hang, I got to, let me go ahead and get a couple more in here. Brutus, get in here. Yeah, yeah. He's like, all right.

If we're doing this, I might as well hop in there. He's like, sorry, Julius. Yeah. Shiv him a few times. All right, Jules. Might call him Jules. Jules. Well, let me ask you, though, when you had the Bukowski pulled up, did you get a time period when he was? Yeah, he died in 1994. 1994.

But when was he prevalent, though? Well, the 80s. Some would argue whether he ever was, but he was born in the 1920s. Okay. So he's probably pawned his typewriter in the 50s. Yeah. All right. So born in the 20s. Yeah. Writing in the 50s. All right. You got it. These times are all. They're all. Yeah. You're right. Did he have family? It doesn't sound like it. He had one kid.

He was married to one woman for two years and then got married in 1985. A couple different wives, one kid. Kind of bounced around. Seems like a good relationship with that kid. It seems like he had a horrible life, right? But when you read the poems, it almost glorifies this lifestyle that's probably not even fun for him. Much like working man.

I wonder why you like it. I guess so. I guess I'll, I'll do a dive on this guy. I've never heard of Henry Charles, but Kowski, let me ask you this. Kate Middleton came out today that she photoshopped one of her photos, family photos. Have you ever had, have you ever photoshopped not photos,

For a joke, like on top of Mount Everest, but a photo truly trying to like make someone think you're somewhere else. No, no, no. Like you're somewhere else or like truly not making it obvious. Like you want that. You don't want them to know it's fun with the intention to actually deceive somebody. Yeah. No, I don't think I ever have.

I mean, we had though, everybody had those Nora Canfield photos at one time here in Nashville. I don't know if you had one, but I know we both had one and they were photoshopped. And I did use one of those on Tinder for a little while when I first met her. And I wasn't like trying to be like, this is not photoshopped, but I also wasn't like, this is photoshopped. What do you mean? Like she just took out some. Like that book.

It was the black and white photo that I would use though. But yeah, I would use this picture. Yeah. They airbrushed your face pretty good on here, right? Yeah. Nice smooth skin in this picture. I think that's obvious though. But it was the black and white one that I would use. See if you scroll up a little bit. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. So that one is the one I would use. And that's a sweet looking pic, I think. I mean, that's maybe the best I've ever looked. And I mean, of course it's Photoshop, but I'm saying that's the closest I've come to being deceitful with a photo.

The biggest trouble I ever got in as a kid was our class photo for second grade. And I was sitting in the front and I had a bunch of pencils in my hand. And I don't know why I was just trying to do something weird for the photo. Have I told you this story? I don't know. And I had a pencil between my fingers and they took the picture. My teacher thought I was flipping the camera off.

And it was a huge deal. I remember my parents got called in. I had to sit down with the principal. They thought I was just giving the bird to our class picture. And I was just holding pencils. I got in so much trouble, dude. Nobody believed me. Nobody had my back. Was it multiple pencils? Could they not tell it was a pencil? Yeah. I don't know. Were you trying to be like the Wolverine or something? That's what I was going to say. It was just like that. That's what I was kind of going for. Just being silly. I don't even remember what I was doing. Yeah. No one knows what a pencil is in here. Yeah.

High technology school. They've never seen one. Was that considered poor to use a pencil in your family? Y'all were only pen people? Quills. Yeah. Dip it. Is that why you did it? Because you were like, you got all the poor kids and grabbed all their pencils. Look at me slumming out here with these kids. I think it was just small enough in the picture that it was hard to tell what it was. But man, were they mad at me. Ruined the class picture.

Well, this year for our Christmas photo, unbeknownst to me, Ruth did a little Photoshop on my face. Oh, no. She didn't do it herself. She got one of her friends to do it, her co-worker. But we did a Christmas photo with Santa. It's very hard, obviously, to get a one-year-old to get a good smile in the numerous photos. The one, she looks beautiful.

good in. I look ridiculous apparently, according to Ruth. To get both of y'all to smile, baby, and you together. It's hard. A lot of stuff. It's like jingling keys. Brian, Brian, over here, buddy. Over here.

And she got a friend to Photoshop my face from last year's Christmas photo onto this year's. Oh, wow. She didn't even take your face from one of the other photos that day? No. She had to pull it from another year? I mean, it's going to be the same. I mean, he looks the same. A little more hair a year ago, but besides that, yeah. Now I want that to be a tradition for you guys. Like every year you keep using that same picture. Can you tell it's Photoshopped? No. Really? Yeah.

It's that good? Yeah. I mean, I didn't do it. Someone who knows what they're doing. Yeah. That Kate Middleton photo, I would never have told. I don't even know what it is. I don't know what this story is. You know, Kate Middleton hasn't been seen for a while. I hope she's okay. She was in the hospital. They released a family photo yesterday, and then it came out that it was Photoshopped.

And they pointed out a couple of things they found that were off. And she admitted that I thought the way she said it, she was the one that was doing it. So she's not in the photo? Yeah, that's her right there. That's her in the middle. What's photoshopped about it? Right, but that's what I'm saying. Her daughter's sleeve right there. They're probably combining a couple different pictures. And then you lose track of which hands where. So now you got like phantom hands all around. It's odd looking.

Now, she had somebody do this, right? I can't imagine Kate Middleton sitting at a laptop. Maybe I misread it. Zooming in on Photoshop. I thought her statement was that she acted like she did it, but surely not. I don't understand. I still can't see what's... I can't either. What's Photoshopped. Well, her hand does seem like it goes past her sleeve there.

Oh, oh, oh, okay. Yeah, it was like, okay, I see what... The circle's a bad job with the circle. Wait, what do you mean the hand goes past the circle? Her sleeve. The little girl. I don't know why the circle's so big. It should be down below. It's like, what is this right here beneath the hand? It must have been from another picture where Ham was on the other side of the arm. I guess. I still don't even know what you're talking about. All right.

Yeah, I was watching some stuff on her. I mean, it seems like she's they're really being weird about where she's at. Like, apparently her uncle is on some celebrity dating show and was saying that she's, you know, like not doing well. She has the best doctors or whatever. And it's like.

I don't know. She's not been seen for a while. There was another photo that they said she was spotted in a car, but people were pointing out that she has like a mole and the girl in the car they're saying is it was her does not have the mole. Yeah. So it's like there's some stuff. The whole royal family seems to be having a lot of issues right now. Yeah. Yeah.

They were really cruising for a while. Yeah. A few thousand years, they were killing it. Yeah. Well, after Prince Charles, I mean, you'd think it'd be them. It wouldn't be Prince, what's his name? William. William. Prince William and her. And then they'd be rolling because he's young. If she's okay. Yeah. I know she is. I think everybody likes her. What if it becomes Harry? He comes back? Yeah. I mean.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't think they like that, right? I don't know. No, I don't think so. Yeah, but he would like being king. I mean, come on. You know what I mean? He maybe don't want to be prince, but if they were like, all right, you're next in line to be king, he'd be like, you know what? I'm going to go back. I'm in charge now. He's not even in line anymore, though. Is he not? Isn't it William's kids, his son? Oh, I guess so. Well, I wish him the best, all of them.

Yeah. I hope the family does well. Yeah. Uh, this week. Uh, so I was in, uh, Philadelphia. Yeah. Unreal. They were so good. Uh, the Wells Fargo center. It's where the 76ers play. Yeah, it was, man, they were so good. Uh, I mean, all weekend they were so good. Uh, but then, so we had, uh, go to Wells Fargo. Then, uh,

I guess we... Yeah, I guess I posted something. Jeez. Yeah. So... Is that what I posted? Yeah, that's what you posted. Yeah, so Fallon is out with this. It just looks absurd. That's insane, yeah. Keep going over. So Fallon hit me up and he wanted to go do...

He's been wanting, because he came out of New Jersey. And so he's kind of like looking and was like, all right. You know, he's like, I want to come to Syracuse and Albany. So, I mean, he was on the bus with us.

Uh, and then we went and did, he did Syracuse and Albany. I mean, dude, he, when he went out, it was Syracuse was bananas. Albany was banana. They're both bananas. Albany. I feel like some people might've heard cause word got around town. We went to a frat party or he went to it just to like, uh,

Just to go in. Because he went to college at St. College of Rose. I think. St. College of Rose? I think so. College of St. Rose. College of St. Rose. That's what it is. And it's going out of business. In Albany. In Albany. The college is going out of business? It's going out of business.

Liquidation sale right now. So he came out. He's been doing like a little stand-up. I mean, he destroys, dude. So Friday, he taped his show and then flew in, got into Syracuse basically probably 20 minutes before he went on stage. So it was when he landed. So, I mean, Syracuse had no idea.

There was no reason for him to be there. There was no, you know, anything. So, uh, joint goes up and then joint brings them up. And I mean, they go, we have videos and all this stuff where I, uh, Mike Lavin is, uh,

dealing with all, but just, they go nuts, dude. Standing ovation immediately. Like it's the, it's, it's the most fun. They can't, they're like, what? You know, and you almost don't believe until they don't believe it. And they see him. And then it's just, they, it's, I mean, the most, the biggest applause ever. It was awesome.

Bigger or smaller pop than when Brian got brought up the other weekend. Oh, no. Brian's still the biggest. Mine was natural pop in my knee. Yeah. Yours was a shuffle. As a shuffling, they shuffled out. It was a different kind of sound. Bathroom run? Yeah. A little bathroom run. Bathroom baits. That's what they call them. Bathroom break baits.

Where'd it go? Go now. Get your smoke in before Nate goes on. So Syracuse, they go up and I mean, it's insane. So he goes up. And it's funny, I was joking there. I was like, you know, you figured like, all right, like Fallon's going to, you know, he hasn't done stand-up

The last time he did it was with me in New Jersey. But it's... He's doing a little stand-up, but he hasn't really done stand-up in a long time. So you're like, all right, he'll go up there, be excited, then he'll get up. But he goes up and destroys. The set he was doing from New Jersey, it's longer now. And it all...

clothes it's all just like a solid set so he goes out and does 50 I'm like good night now I gotta go follow you know it's one thing like New Jersey I don't think I really thought he destroyed but it wasn't I didn't really think about it but he like destroyed

And I mean, really top to bottom. And so you're like, all right, now I got to... In New Jersey, he was like not doing it a lot, right? Now he's really kind of working it. But not really. I mean, this is... He went up in New Jersey and I think this is the second time he went up, but he's thought about the act a lot. Yeah, yeah. And he's got to look at it. So we... So then we go and...

So I go up after him. And then it was great. Syracuse was great. So then we go. We hang out. And he was like, I want to do the whole hang. So he rode the bus with us.

So, like, we end up, like, hanging out. You know, you go to bed at, like, 4. We're already kind of not, you know. I mean, we stay up late, but it's usually not 4. And so now we're up until 4, right? And so Jimmy's like, I'm like, what time? He's like, I want to get up and go do stuff tomorrow and all. Like, he's fired up. He's like a child. He has the energy. Let me tell you, if you, I always say, but if you meet him, he is...

He's going to be what you want him to be. If you can meet him, meet him. Because you're not going to be disappointed. Don't think you're going to be. He's got a ton of energy. He's excited. He just loves it all, loves hanging out, is very fun. So he goes, and then, so then, what's his song they play? So we stay up, it was like 4 o'clock. And then they're on the bunk.

So I'm in my back bedroom. I did not show him how to turn the light off or open the doors and all the doors and shit. So if you don't know, there's a front lounge on the bus, then the bunks are in the middle, and then my bedroom is in the back.

And so there's two doors that are sliding doors and they close. So when you're in the bunks, my door is closed and the door to the front lounge is closed. Well, we didn't show, we didn't, I didn't tell him how to get out or turn the light off. So he says he got up to go to the bathroom. And I mean, he's like, I don't know. He's like trying to push the door. He's trying to lift it up. He doesn't, it's like an electronic slide door. So it's not, and there's a little screen touch pad, but it's not,

It's just not obvious. And if you don't, if you know it, then it becomes very easy. And then he couldn't figure the light out either, so he slept his light on. It is just the brightest light on the... The light in his bunk? Yeah. It's just so bright. So he just had to sleep with that on. So then he played this song. What's the song they play?

like a calvary song when they wake people up in the military like the trumpet yeah like yeah yeah yeah that yeah it's like something like that one of those songs with a bugle with a uh yeah but there's a yeah i forget and then so 954 that goes off and it's just on his speaker it's so loud

So he's just doing that to all of us. And it's like, all right, I guess we have to get up. And it goes on for a long time. And it was all for him just to do right when it went off from his bunk. He just goes, hello. He goes, no, everybody's asleep. I'll call you back. It was all for that. That's funny. And then I told him, I was like, and you did it at 954. I was like, not 10. Right. It usually is around. It's just such a weird number.

So then we're like, all right, we're up. So then we go in and then we go and we go look at his college, uh,

And he's like telling us to walk around, showing his college, go to his apartment where he lived, knocked on the door. Two kids come down. They know him. They are like, they can't believe he's there. He's like, I used to live here. Like, and then we go to this, they're having like, they're, they're, they were celebrating Patty's day early there. And so this one road is like all these frat houses. St. Patrick's day. St. Patrick's day. And so this one road,

He's like, let's go crash one of these, you know, frat parties. And we're like, okay. You know, we're like, all right. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's fun, you know? And so we get out of the van and I mean, I mean, we get out of the van. He talked about the fame. Like I always mentioned this to comics. Like you say, like talk about fame is like, there's just levels. There's just different levels of it.

Where, yeah, I can sell these arenas. I can do whatever. I mean, it's a high, high level. It's like Mickey Mouse walking out. There's no one, no shape, size, color. Everybody knows. There's no one that's like, huh? It's just, it's the equivalent of Mickey Mouse coming out. So Jimmy gets out and it's just a boom.

And then he's like walking into the thing. And I mean, it's already kind of a chaotic kind of thing. So then he goes in, he goes at the front. I mean, he's just surrounded. We get separated from him immediately. Then we're not going into the thing. It's just too, it's mayhem. Travis stayed with him. So Travis was just kind of next to him, just kind of, you know, with him.

They go into the, we have video. I mean, it's just, there's like TikTok videos of it. It's where he just went through. So then he goes in the house and he gets to the backyard. Then he comes all the way back to the house. And then we leave and we leave. I mean, they're trying to get in the van. Like we have to slam the door and knock everybody back. I mean, it's, it's like Taylor Swift. Yeah.

And then we just take – then the runners had to take off, and then so we'd take off. And then, you know, then we'd go to the show the whole night. But it was – I mean, it was very fun. I mean, those kids have something that –

That's crazy. Like there's, I mean, there was just no, like everybody's like, why is he here? So he just did a run through, basically ran through the party and everybody's like, Jimmy Fallon was here tonight. Yeah. Like he didn't hang. He just kind of, they were like, yeah, we were just at the party. He just kind of ran. It was so crazy. He couldn't have hung. Yeah.

In his head, I think he thought, I'll go in there and be playing beer pong. He was at Almost Famous. I was about to say, that's like a scene in Almost Famous. In the scene of Almost Famous, that guy goes in and everybody's like, whoa, you're here. Then everybody drinks and hangs out and it's calmer. Well, he goes in. Once he goes in, it's like, all right, well, this is... It's like do it to do it, but there is no...

Hey, can we just hang out? It's insanity. He also is taller than I expected him to be when I met him. I feel like he's probably very visible in this party. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, he just faces- Like even height-wise, though. Yeah. Yeah. He just looks like Jimmy Fallon. Yeah. It's just-

There is no is it or isn't or anything. It's just like, yeah, dude, that's Jimmy Fallon. And so he just comes, I mean, just gets mobbed. But I mean, they were very cool. Like they were, you know, it was crazy, but it was, you know, people were moving. Once he went through the door of the house, of this front house, there's a bunch of different front houses there.

And so once he went through the door of the frat house, one of the frat guys, we watched him. He then stood in front of the steps and he goes, it's $100 to get in and started charging other kids $100 to get in. I love that. Which I mean, almost no one else really should be in there because he's so crowded. But I mean, I saw someone hand him $100. I saw he at least probably made like

three, $400, like three, four guys. Yeah. But it was like to shut a dance. And he just decided that that quick at that moment, that kid's going to be successful. He wasn't even really, Jimmy wasn't really through the door. And then he just stood there and goes, a hundred dollars. Get in. So that's why you didn't go in. Yeah. I ain't paying that. Did they know you?

No. See, that's wild. I mean, you're like the biggest comic in the country. And so for you to go with a guy and then that guy, everybody knows him, but they don't know you. That's wild. Look, I was...

Once he goes, it's so cat. I have my hat on and hood on because it was cold. But I mean, it's just the idea of being a recognizable face like that. There's just a difference between being on TV every day. I always like to say this with comics, or I tell myself this in every moment. Wherever you think you are, there's someone bigger. And so you use it as a... Don't ever think you're...

the biggest because i think people do that and i think comics they get a little like steam and then they start acting like they're bigger than they are yeah well then that hunger is gone and then that's you have you feel like you have nothing else to prove and that goes away quick yeah and i've seen it happen with a lot of comics it goes away quick and then they're not what they you know in their head they thought they were jimmy fallon like they right they start acting like oh i need

I need security or they want to be kind of diva-ish. And then you're like, yo, dude, you're not – I don't know if you know how famous fame is. It's a different thing. It's so wild. But I just – and maybe I'm wrong, but I don't see Jimmy Fallon necessarily –

selling out the arenas you're selling out. If he were to go and do stand up, but yet he is more recognizable. It's, it's, yeah. I mean, if I walked in, you know, it's like, I mean, I, you know, I don't know. It's, I did not get recognized once there, but it's the attention. I mean, they're, they're just on another planet, but,

When they come to see him, they're so... They can't believe they're seeing him. He just lives on TV. He's an institution. Yes. Almost more than a guy. Yeah, it's... You almost want to be like, hey, you know, he's on my show this weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's my opener y'all are going crazy for. I go... He's on my bus this weekend. It was funny as...

No, it was great. It was great. It's nice. It's nice to see. It's a nice reminder. It's nice. Everything just to kind of, you go like you can think in your head, you start getting a little, then you're, and Jimmy's not doing this for that reason. I'm saying I, I, I, this is something I just take inside. I would never even, I'm just saying it on this podcast. I would never even talk about this.

I would have just quietly, you just, but it's just, it's nice to remind like wherever you think you are, you're like, yeah, dude, there's still plenty of places to go. You still can keep going and you can still be where, you know, I'm known as staying up. We're all reminded of that because we're on a podcast with you. So we're constantly reminded. Yeah.

no matter how good it's going for any of us. So imagine where you're at now. You pull up a picture like this and you're like, all right. So imagine how far back y'all are if Jimmy's that much ahead of me. Yeah, for sure. I'm joking, I'm joking. That's what I'm doing. I'll be retired by then. I'm joking, I'm joking. Now it's...

It's very, very fun. I mean, it was very, you know, I don't know. I mean, it's wild. Well, it's cool to hear that he's a good dude and then like,

is cool about it. He's the best, man. Yeah, yeah. He's the best. I mean, he's always been the best, but then even getting to hang out with him this weekend, like, you know, we hung out quite a few times. Our bunch, you know, we're friends. But then it was, but like something like this where we were with him all day, every day for two straight days. And he saw his old friends from Albany and,

and people he lived with. And so it was, you know, he kind of started comedy in college at the, in Albany. So it was, yeah, the whole thing was awesome. And look, I do get like, I'm selling these. I don't think it's just a different thing. It's Spade. David Spade is, you know, it's movies and stuff. People tend to know you're just everywhere. So there's when you're in movies and TV shows and you've been around and found has been around for decades.

20 years like on TV. It's like, so it's just, his name is kind of everywhere. Uh, and his face is just everywhere. He's a universal, he's a, you know, it's a ride and universal. And so it's just, uh, a different kind of thing. I think if I was like, I thought like if Shane Gillis walked in there though, I bet it could be because that is exactly his, his group.

But yeah, I mean, it was, man, it was wild. A little bit different experience this weekend. They didn't let you into your own show? I was in Vincennes, Indiana.

Vincent. Vincent. Yeah. Indiana. Had a great time. I mean, I'm not probably pretending like it wasn't a great show. It was a great show. A lot of folks came out. I got this shirt there because they're in the path of the eclipse. They're gearing up for it. I bet. Are they excited? They're very excited. There are people coming in from all over the country. Hotels like $800 a night. Yeah. Crashed a cakewalk.

I just imagine Jimmy Fallon crashes a frat bar. Well, if I could have found one, I would have. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you know what I mean though? Yeah.

I tried to stop at KFC. A bingo night? Yeah. I tried to stop at KFC and get the new Cheez-I. All right. They were out of ingredients, so a little bit different. I just love Bates goes to a bingo night. They're like, it's too much. Too much. Is that him? Yeah. Just crowds you. Bingo Bates. Yeah. It's a slow gather.

Just old people just kind of slowly getting over there. Bring it in. I-12. Wait. Is that right? Gee. We got a traffic jam. These walkers getting hooked up wrong. Anyway, great time. Thanks for everybody coming out. It was a lot of fun. You want to thank them name by name? Oh, come on. I know. What? I mean, that was...

Thanks, Jerry John. You're too loving, girls. Thanks for the jam you brought. What was the line we kept saying about Vincennes? I went there once and I ate Vincennes. Vincennes, yeah. That's a good line. I ate Vincennes. I didn't do anything. Where is that? Did you drive there? Yeah, it's only like three hours and 15 minutes from here. What club's there?

A church. Oh, nice. Yeah. I didn't, I was off this weekend. I did go out to McMinnville and have some cages built around my trees though. So that's, I had 44 trees, I had 44 cages built to keep the deer off of them so we can get some fruit, you know? There you go. And that was great. I had a lot of fun.

But I was off. You could have been working. Yeah, you turned down some stuff. I took the time off. Yeah. There you go. You mentioned a couple weeks ago how you do not fly. You wear jeans when you fly. Yeah. You think that should be the proper protocol? Well, you know, jeans, dress pants. I mean, something. You know, not sweatpants. All right. eBay Motors is here for the ride. Remember when you first saw the potential?

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Yeah, those pants are really like, I got a pair and I was like thinking, well, you know, I got stuff like this. Not a big deal. But I started wearing them and I'm like, all my gym shorts, all my other pants, I never wear them now. It's like, it is something. There's shorts I wear every day. I got all of it on now. It is really something how comfortable it is. I mean, it's nice. Yeah. Now, last week you said you never wear shorts. Yeah.

To work, I mean, to work out or like around here. I said I don't like to wear, like I wouldn't want to wear them to go to the store or something like, you know, but if I was golfing or basketball or something active, it's hot, you know? Mm-hmm.

Team Z over here. Yeah. I just want to get out. And that was last week, too. It's like, don't be calling me out on last week. Well, there's a comment on here about last week. I could change everything. All right. Let's do it. Christian Morse. Morse code. Morse code. Yeah. Christian Morse. No. Morse. Morse. Morse. Morse code. No, it's Morse code. It's not Morse code. I said Zach Morse. Morse code. Saved by the bell. Morse code.

This episode is a gift in the highest form. I am an aborist and I'm obsessed with trees. Arborist. There you go. Oh, it's arborist? Yeah.

Arbor's Day. Arbor's Day. Arbor's Day. That's trees, right? It's a tree day? Yeah. Arbor Day? Arbor Day is about trees. What do you think it was? I don't know. Labor Day or something. I'm obsessed with trees too. I might have thought it was like harbor. Like it's like for the- For the Navy or something? Yeah, yeah. I actually might have thought that. Or just anything you want to harbor. So we have a day for the trees? Yeah. What day is Arbor Day?

I don't know. Arbor Day is a big day, right? I don't know. Do people talk about Arbor Day? I don't think so. I remember celebrating it in school. It depends. The day depends on the climate and the suitable planting season, but it's... Typical Arbor Day stuff. We're not going to do it. We're going to let you know. We're going to fill it out. I like this guy, though. I'm into trees, too. And it's like, it is...

trees are very underappreciated out here. I drive through these like cities and there'll be like real rundown cities, but there'll be old cities. And like, they just have these big, like beautiful trees. And then these like strip malls, just crap strip malls built beside them. And you're like, what beautiful nature landscape out here.

You know what I mean? I know you got, we did an episode on planning last week and I know that none of you care about trees or plants or anything like that. So I'm aware. No, I do. We care. We're supportive. I want to know how my bonsai is coming. Well, I never planted a tree on Arbor day as a kid. I'm working on it, but I think so. Yeah, probably. But I never thought of it since that day. I think that tree is dead. Okay. I think it is dead. I'm working on it though.

Where did you put it? Why don't you feed it to another tree? Well, I'm just trying. I'm watering it. It needs water. I'm just going to see if I can spark some life to it. Could you wrap it around a bark on another tree and see if it... Like graft it in? Graft it. Yes, there you go. I don't know. I think it's too dead to graft. Okay.

Keep his post. Yeah. Bernie Kim's a big liar. Believe me, if I bring that tree back to life, I'll bring it in here. Oh, yeah. Somebody will care. Well, if you bring it, we'll put it up here if you can get it back to life. Christian Morse will care for sure. I care. You let it go. I care about trees and plants. I chose it for a topic last week. It's like a kid that, you know. Trying to give it a better life. I love that fish. You never fed the fish. Michael Dacco.

Michael Dacco. Dacco. That's good. Sometimes these guys are hard to listen to. How can't you understand as an adult how Daylight Saving Times works? They also forget stuff they talked about last week. That is all true. Yeah, that's great. Well, I mean, I don't know what's hard to listen to about it, but we understand how Daylight Saving Time works. We're just saying we're not into it.

It made sense when it was described to me last week. But I would imagine most people don't because I, you know, it's like what I thought would think a lot of people were like, I don't really, if you ask them, they're like, I don't really know. And then maybe if you really pressed them, they'd be like, if it was just advancing the time by one hour and then going back one hour, I think it'd be pretty easy. But it's also the days are longer and shorter during the time of year. Michael, why don't you type up some stuff, send it to us and we'll all take a look at it.

I mean, it'll be hard for us to read. You know what I mean? I agree with him. That's Brian's alias. I am hard to listen to, I admit. I like where we're at right now. Whatever this is considered, the time change that's just happened, this is what I'm into. We're in daylight savings. Whatever they said last week, I thought made a ton of sense.

about it getting dark in the morning. Yeah. Even though you didn't agree with me. Well, you were like 1130 in the morning. It's still moons out. Well, I did say, which I was corrected on because I was like, oh, look up the East Coast. And people were like, well, the sun comes up early in the East Coast. But that's why we have the breakdown of the time zone. That's right. So if I had said like Knoxville or somewhere closer to central time zone, which I did look up, Knoxville in wintertime, sun comes up like at 745. Yeah.

in the morning at its latest. So if we were to keep daylight savings year round, it'd be almost nine when the sun came up. I think that's fine. I do think it's kind of fine. I guess the further north you go, the later the sun comes up. Canada, it's crazy. I do get it for that reason. I understand it. I get why everybody thinks it's dumb and then it's like some cities are going to probably be like,

You're just making our life miserable. Yeah. But then you could just, you know, you could move out of those areas and go, I want to be at a, you know, because maybe there are people that like more darkness. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And they could it could be like, I like the idea that you have different geographic areas where people go and live because they like certain things there. We move on. This is hard to listen to. Sometimes. Casey, how when breakfast asked if anyone had planted anything, they responded, not a day in my life.

Need I remind Nate that in the Tennessee kid, he talks about planting trees at the DuPont plant with black smoke coming out. That is true. How about that? We just discovered that was probably for Arbor Day. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess I did. It's all piecing together. I forgot. I don't think Nate went. This wasn't Nate's. He didn't. He didn't take the initiative on this. No, they made it. Yeah. Michael Martin. Dusty invest in some soaker hoses and an automatic timer.

I'm probably not as busy as you are, but I do work a lot. And it's a great way to keep my vegetables happy. I do have some soaker hoses and I thought about the timers, but I'm just worried. I don't know that I trust the timer and I'm not out there all the time. And what I mean is I don't have trust issues with timers, but I'm saying, what if it breaks or what if it doesn't shut off and then water's just running all the time and then I'm not there for two weeks? Sure. Well, your wife. Oh.

Yeah, what's the point of her? Well, I'm talking about at the land. Oh. Yeah, I got you. At my house, my wife is my automatic timer. What if you have a camera out there, like a... A little trail camera. I guess I could have a camera watching the hoses. Then you got...

I mean, you might get cut it on and off from your phone. Yeah. That's something. Probably do that. Yeah. All right. Well, I appreciate this. I bet there's a way someone's done something already. I wonder if this guy knows about the singer Michael Martin Murphy, who sings the song Wildfire. Probably related. Used to come out to that song. Yeah. It's a great song. Love that song.

You remember what he came out to? Yeah, it's a great song. Yeah. It is a good song. I keep up with you guys. You do. Your memory has always been the best. What do I walk out to, Brian? I'm a fan.

The Fat Boys. Have you guys ever heard of the Fat Boys? No. They were a rap group in the 80s. Oh, Fat Boys. Yeah. Okay. What'd you think I said? I thought you were just calling me fat. Well, it was a double it. Yeah, working on two levels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was nice.

Jennifer Forest. Talk about trees. It's hard to see the forest through Jennifer. What's that saying? Can't see the forest for the trees. Tree falls in the forest. Nobody hears. Can't see the forest for the trees. Yeah. Does that mean you can't see the whole forest? You're not seeing the big picture. Yeah. You got to zoom out a bit.

Yeah, but you're like, but I'm just standing. How can I zoom out and get in the helicopter? Because you're like Michael Daco, who's always like, oh, it's hard to listen to. It's like, well, try to zoom out a little bit, Michael. See the forest. That's right. Yeah, he's done seen the forest. Yeah.

Aaron said he's been, you know, if you go to anybody that talks, any normal person, people repeat stories quick. Oh, yeah. The average person. I mean, I'm sure when we do it too, we try to be good about it. But the average person, I mean, people have maybe three stories. We're on episode 191. I bet people, I bet the average person has three stories. Uh-huh.

Like three good stories. If I'm at a party and I say something that makes people laugh, I'll hit different groups at that party. You can go on tour with it at the dinner party. That's what my thing is for that party. Once I've hit everyone, I leave.

George Costanza. I tried to get everybody. You're starting to tell a story. You got a funny story. Say I'm saying it to Brian. Y'all kind of trill off and then I got to just be like, yes. But you want to also just go like, hey, I'm stopping. The people you want to actually listen to and art, you're just stuck talking. And then you're like,

And then he's like, well, I was just telling Brian here. And then you got to say it all again. The flip side of that is you ever look around, you're like, I'm the only one listening to this guy. So now I got to really be like. I've looked around and be like, no one's listening to me. You know, you ever do that? You ever talk and you realize like, oh, no one's. Yeah. And you just stop talking. In my house alone with my wife. Yeah. Happens to me on this podcast every week. Yeah.

It's the most of the last week. Sometimes you just got to know when to get out and you just take your loss and go, all right, no one knows. No one even knows I stopped talking. That's the worst too. When you stop and they go, wait, weren't you just telling a story? You're like, just let it go. Let me sit in silence.

Jennifer Forrest. Aaron said he's been trying to tell the story about buying his brother a plant. Still did not get to finish telling the story. That's unbelievable that I'm talking about that. I thought you already read ahead. No, I did not read ahead. I just, I want to know what happened. Well, Jennifer. Who cares? This is for just Jennifer and Aaron, everybody, including us, allowed to

uh think about something else while you tell the story we got a quick air and land break here for a second uh i feel like i'm building it up too much but i was buying my brother some plants and it was expensive plants are expensive i got him this nice cactus that you guys trashed but it was a nice cactus that you we were saying he couldn't get in arizona yeah but this was a i mean you should see this cactus it doesn't have the prickly stuff it looks like

Just kind of green blobs. Smooth. It's nice and smooth, dude. You can rub your whole hand all over it anyway. So I'm checking out and it's expensive. And I said to my brother, I said, if one of these dies, I'll be pretty mad. And the cashier, who I didn't even know was there, he just goes, I won't let that happen.

And we just looked at it and I was like, I don't know how involved you think you're going to be in our lives from this, but I don't think we're ever going to see you again, dude. Driving home, I was like, what was that guy offering? Was that a threat or was he saying he wants to stay involved with these plants? What did he mean? I don't know what he meant at all. I think he was trying to maybe get a...

give us his card and like check in on him or something. But I turned that down pretty quick. Yeah. Like he's like, I'll stay in. Yeah. I'll stay in touch. Make sure these plants are alive. What if maybe Home Depot just has a good return policy, but that still would be dying. Yeah. Yeah.

There you go. Hope you're happy, Jennifer. What did it die? I tried that on stage for so long. Nobody ever cared about that. Did you? Yeah. It was funny. You tried. Yeah. I don't think you should have tried it here where it's loose.

I tell it a bit differently. Look, I'll be honest with you. As long as you do comedy with more of that stuff, you won't let that stuff be out. You talk yourself out of that before you realize. Oh, no. You should have heard it. Can I buy that from you? Yeah, you got that. You take that, Brian. What was the joke? You just went on to say what that guy was. The thing about customer service. And I was like, well, this guy was too much. I was like, what was that guy offering? He got a couple laughs, dude. Yeah. It's like a... No, no. Did it die? Yeah.

I don't know. It hasn't been that long. If it dies, go back to that Home Depot, find that guy and tell him what happened. I love that you assume this was a Home Depot. This was not a Home Depot. Oh, okay. Lowe's? No, this wasn't.

This is like some plant nursery, some kind of, they're all hip and cool. Yeah. Well, they might've, you know, been like, Hey, we're staying on top of it. Uh, well, I'm going to be closing on that this weekend. Come out and see it live. Lowell, Arkansas. Bought my brother a plant. Yeah.

The crowd goes crazy. That's my hot pocket. Tell them to plant, Joe. I'll save that one for the encore when I come back out. I think I know why y'all stayed. I bought my brother a plant. You ever buy a... Who here has... He's telling it. Who here has a brother? He's got to bring the crowd in on it. Who has a brother? What, you got a brother? How many brothers you got? Make some noise. You got plants out here. You got three brothers.

I bought my brother a plant. No reason for you to ask how many brothers you have. It goes right into the plant story. When I was 22 years old, I got involved with a plant. Jerome Link.

I'd love to know Dusty's thoughts on planting techniques like no dig or the push for getting rid of traditional grass covered lawns and converting them into native species gardens or similar. I can't wait either. Please get into this, Dusty. This sounds great. Well, I will say I am, I've killed about a third of my lawn in the backyard with leaves and,

To go back and replant native flowers, wildflowers. It's going to be, I'm going to do a video. It's going to be wild. No dig. I don't really, to be, I mean, I hear people say that, but I don't really know what they mean by that. I think they mean like, no plow, don't plow it up. I'm into it. I'm into all the planting techniques. But I am all about killing my grass for native plant species. Yeah.

All about it. So you're killing your... In the backyard, not the front, but the backyard. Of course not. Of course not. And I'm putting wildflowers. Where your fence is the outside poster. I saw someone putting a fence up the other day and they had the inside of their yard being the flat side. And the backside was not that. But I think it was... But there was like some trees and bushes. So I don't know if it was like that because it was like... They really couldn't see anything.

But yeah, almost made me think it was weird. No. Yeah, I think if you're in a neighborhood, I was wrong when I was doing it. But I think if you're in a neighborhood, you should put the nice side to the outside. So other people, so it looks better for the neighborhood. I was wrong when I was doing it. So you can enjoy it. Yeah, I can admit that I was wrong. Zach Morgan. I just want to say how proud I am of Nate for saying that airplanes land harder when it's raining.

Shockingly, this is 100% factual. Look at that. I'm an airline pilot, and while landing hard is far from what we want to do, sometimes it's necessary, depending on how wet the runways are. Landing a bit more firm helps us to cut through the lay of water sitting on top of the runway and prevent hydroplaning.

You are all the reason I start my passenger announcements with hello, folks. Oh, I love that. Look at that. That's great, Zach. Yeah, it's great. I wonder what airline. What do you think about that, Michael Dacco? Yeah. Is that hard to listen to his announcements when you're on his plane? Hello, folks. You don't understand how landing a plane works? Hard to listen to. Drew, I don't know why even. But I'm just saying, give us a heads up.

Yeah. Just give us a little bit of a heads up. Oh, like, hey, we're going to land hard. We might land a little harder than you expect, but everything's fine. I don't know if you can say that in a way that's not panic-inducing. We're about to land hard. Hey, just a heads up. Everything's fine. Everything's cool. We're all great up here. We're going to hit the ground pretty hard. Just something like that. Yeah, but that's not... The wheels didn't come out. It's raining, so we're going to land... Have a little more firmer landing, just...

So it stops. There you go. It's like when you're about to get a shot and they go, we got a little bit of pressure. You just run up. I bet you run into a thing where someone's going to be like, a signal where if someone wants to sue the airlines, they get to go, all right, well now he's.

He warned us. He warned. Yep. There's going to be. I know. But even if he warned, you know, just laying hard and everybody's like, oh, glad you're safe. I think everybody's just, you know, once you. I was agreeing with you. I meant he, they would say he admitted we were going to land hard and now I've hurt my neck. Yeah. He just land hard and then deny that it happened.

You land hard and then you go, we got you here a few minutes earlier. You go, that was hard for you? Yeah. That wasn't hard at all. You know, when people say we have flying cars, we'd have one of them. But the airplanes are, I was thinking that this weekend, like we do have airplanes. They're safer than cars. Isn't that crazy? Yeah.

It's the safest form of travel. Yeah, I don't, but I always think that that's, that's a weird stat. Why is that weird? Because you're interjecting it's every other driver and blah, blah, and all that stuff like that. And there's so many more people driving than there are flying. So it's like the percentages and all that would be off. This was why the movie Rain Man, the whole thing.

premise of Rain Man doesn't make any sense. I've never seen Rain Man. Okay, so it's Tom Cruise and he has a brother who's Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman will not get on a plane because he knows all the stats of which airline had this many crashes. So he won't agree to get on a plane, but he will agree to go on a cross-country trip in a convertible.

And you're like, well, that's way more dangerous. You're way more likely to get in a car accident than a plane is to crash. Right? You've seen the movie. When he drops the toothpicks, does anybody ever count the toothpicks to really verify if he's right? He just yells a number and then we all go, that's amazing. You know how many toothpicks are on the ground? It's like, yeah, but is anybody...

fat check on that? There are a lot of holes in this movie. He says, I think it's 46 or whatever. How many is in that box? She says 50. He was like, oh, you're pretty close. She said, there's four left. It's a good movie. I haven't seen it in a long time. You only give it a good... Bonnie Hunt was the waitress. How about that? Memory. You do have a really good memory. Thank you. What's your earliest memory?

Do you know? The earliest that I can put a date on. You want to say something? It's not quite the question. Well, I mean, there's memories I have that I can't.

tell you how old I was, but the one I can tell you because of what it was, was going with my mom when she went to vote in the 1976 election between Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter. Okay. And that was- Those names just seem so old that it's unbelievable. Yeah. Well, that was right, because my birthday always falls right around election time. So that was right when I was either turning or just turned five. Wow. And you went to the ballot box. I remember going with her. Yeah. Wow.

How about that? There might be earlier memories that I don't know. Do you think you would have voted a different way? Yeah, I think so. Did Jimmy Carter win? Yeah. Yeah. Got the Gerald Ford right out there. eBay Motors is here for the ride. Remember when you first saw the potential?

And then through some elbow grease, fresh installs, and a whole lot of love, you transformed 100,000 miles and a body full of rust into a drive that's all your own. Look to your left. Look to your right. It is official. No one's got a ride like this.

There is nothing else that sounds like, feels like, or looks like the set of wheels in your garage. With over 122 million parts, you can make sure your number one ride or die stays running smoothly. So there's no limit to how far you can take it. Brake kits, turbochargers, engines, exhaust kits, roof racks, LED headlights, bumpers, whatever your baby needs, eBay Motors has it all.

And with eBay guaranteed fit, it's guaranteed to fit your ride the first time. Every time are your money back. Plus at these prices, well, you're burning rubber, not cash. Keep your ride or die alive at ebaymotors.com. Eligible items only. Exclusions apply.

Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, you're listening to us talk while you're driving, cleaning, exercising, or even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you can save money by doing it right from your phone.

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Drew Allen. I once flew from DC to Detroit for a job interview and back home on the same day. It was a no luggage situation and I was wearing a suit. It felt powerful. That is nice. I like that. Did you get the job, Drew? That's what I'm wondering too. I wish you'd include that on there. Yeah. I once flew to, sounds like maybe he did it. Yeah.

And then, but if you didn't get the job, talk about that power is gone. I guess. Maybe take a briefcase with you. Yeah. You're like, this guy just shows up. Yeah.

I've been thinking, I mean, I've been going where I think about like wanting to dress up more, like just during the day, like get up. Suit? I don't know about suit, but like actually like having a put together outfit. Top hat, something like that? Yeah. It's like, man, every, it's like, I mean, I dress, dude, I dress like this all the time and I just like everything, which I love this stuff. It's all comfortable, but everything's so comfortable.

And it's like a weird, you know, where you're, it's just, you know, there is no more someone wearing a suit or someone, you know, adding, you know, it's like, wow, he looks very nice. You know, football coaches used to wear suits on the sidelines. I guess baseball managers a long time ago, right? I don't know. I used to have player coaches way back in the day. So they would be wearing the uniform.

Which I think might be why they still wear the uniform today. But NBA coaches still wear suits. It's weird. Not all of them. Yeah, some of them are a little more casual. I get because it's like, I mean, it does look done, but there is just something that's nice. Remember Al Golden on Miami? He used to wear a tie on the sideline. And he looked like a bit of a goober. Gene Stallings from Alabama used to wear the full suit.

well yeah with oh bear bryant will wear the suit too with the house tooth hat yeah but he just looked like uh it was so rare when he was there 2012 he's wearing a tie on the sideline that tie is real long too i don't know that's about it that's a good one seems real long like maybe it's it's maybe it's because it's so small at the top it's really flaring out at the bottom

How long do you think? I think it's a perfect tie. I was going to say, dude, he's a better tie-tier than Coach. I don't think the tie should go touch the belt. Where do you think it should touch? Just above. Oh, I think you're crazy, dude. I think it should touch. I think it should a little bit of overhang. I'm no tie expert. I'm not claiming to be, but that looks goofy to me. When's the last time you wore a tie? Maybe Aaron's wedding. To court? Yeah, that tie is...

Could have is maybe I don't even hate to look. The ties may be the best length I've ever seen of a tie. Well, maybe that's it. I would use that picture to show people. Here's where you should put your tie. Well, maybe that's it. People are wearing ties so wrong that the right way seems bad to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But look at this one, this group photo. Now, I think this is a little, this might have been an off day. That looks better. I think he was in a rush getting to the stadium. I think it's a little shorter. I think it's a little, yeah. It's like a couple centimeters too short. I think it's better, though. Yeah. You like it like that? Yeah. I don't think it should touch the belt.

Who's that? That's him. It's Al Golden. Oh, just a different team. I love the way he looks. The more I talk about it, the more I see it. I kind of like it. We need to return to that. I still believe the tie is a bit too long. I don't think it should go down past the belt.

It's not really past the belt. It's on top of the belt. Right, but I mean, it shouldn't even encroach on the belt. You don't want it so short. You're talking about Chris Farley, the way he wore it. Not too short, though. I think there's a fine line that you got to hit. Charlie Weiss, he's just wearing a poncho on the sideline. Just slobby. Can we see that picture? Yeah. Well, that's at an angle.

Look at that. You think that's too long? Yeah. Okay. Well, that's a tough angle for the tie, I think. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Lakin Jones. I accidentally pee on that. Lakin. Lakin. Lakin or Lakin. Your discussion of Ernest, who I've never heard of, made me realize, know what I mean, Vern? Isn't just a phrase my family says, now I know the origin. This is an educational podcast after all. How about that? You know what I mean, Vern?

Yeah. Yeah. Look at that. Look at that. It's not always hard to listen to. Jaina Fadik. Jaina Fadik.

Fatic. Pretty fun. Fatic. Yeah. It's a good, Jaina is a good name to go with. Fatic. Yeah. A lot of attic puns in the family. Yeah, if her room was in the attic. It's like attic, but. Fatic in the attic. Yeah. I wonder if she goes, my name's Jaina Fatic, and they go, how do you say that? It's like a fat attic. I got a lot of stabs.

When Dusty referred to insects landing on plants by saying they light on them, I knew exactly what he was talking about. I'm from Kentucky, and we always said bugs would light on things. But my husband is from California and had never heard the term. I assumed it was a Southern saying, so I was surprised the other three guys did not recognize this phrase. They didn't grow up like us, Jana. You know what I mean? They don't know about lighting on things.

Yeah, I feel like I've never heard that. You never heard that? I don't think so. You heard it? Mm-mm. And Nate, you never heard it? I'll tell you, man, lightning bugs. I know what those are. Lights on you? Mm-mm. I used to just kill lightning bugs, dude, with a tennis racket. I used to just go out there and just... Better help. I'd kill a hundred on a hot summer's night. A hundred with a tennis racket? Yeah, I'd go out there and just swat at them, dude. They're such beautiful insects. Well...

All right. Okay. Terry. Got dark all of a sudden. Is it? Terry, with regard to the weight of the planet, the planet has always weighed the same. You cannot make or destroy matter. When we die, our bodies go back into the earth. Matter can take different forms, but cannot be destroyed or eliminated.

I agree with this, Terry, but nobody wanted to talk about this, but I still believe that if things can evaporate and go into the clouds, can they not go past the clouds and leave the atmosphere? And if so, could things not get lighter or heavier? That's all. If meteors can come in from out of the atmosphere and land here, then we're adding matter. So does that not mean that it would weigh more?

Yeah, well, that's the flaw. And I think Terry's comment is you're assuming that the Earth is a closed system. I mean, stuff can come in from outer space. Yeah, isn't that what, when we looked it up, they said, if anything, it maybe is a little heavier because of meteors. Meteors coming in. Yeah. So new stuff can be introduced. But I think water could be bleeped more now too. Yes. That's true. I mean, there's more people.

So there has to be. It's hard to get your head around, but. People are created out of nowhere, though. But he says it's correct. Yeah. But. But I mean, if someone's born. Yeah. Is that not a new person? It's, I think the energy they, like the food they eat or things like that that makes them grow, then you're taking that matter and put it in you. So it just evens itself out. So it just disperses. Right. Yeah. It's not coming out of nowhere.

Yeah, I mean, I don't believe a lot of this anyway, but I'm in for the discussion of it.

Rachel Payne cow. I just want that. We had a few people explain why water wouldn't go past the clouds. Yeah, it's too high. Yeah. But they, what did they say? They're all similar. Gravity, which Aaron said last week, and thermodynamics. So gravity gets up to the clouds and then gravity suddenly is heavier and won't allow it to go farther past? I mean, there was a few explanations about atmosphere, how cold it gets.

Things like that. I think the biggest disconnect here is I think you're thinking of the atmosphere as some kind of ceiling that's just there. But what it is, is that it's the outer limits of the gravitational pull from the earth. So it's being held in by the gravity of the earth. So no water could ever slip through it.

slip through it. It's like you're thinking about it as if it's like cellophane or something. What about when a spaceship goes through? No, nothing comes out with it. Nothing could escape during that time. What do you mean escape? Like just waters. Yeah. You go up through and say it's all up there and it's gotten real cold and now it's kind of icy because and then that spaceship goes through nothing. Right.

comes out with it well i guess to your point about the weight of the earth anything we took to the moon if we left it there there you go we did take a couple flags that would be some weight we lost those rovers are still there too right didn't we leave those so yeah i mean everybody just kind of makes these statements well it can't happen because of this and this and this but

We are essentially, well, we are leaving sometimes, right? We do believe that sometimes we take a satellite out. So you don't catch anything and take it out with you. I believe you can. If something can leave here. But you're talking about like it's a door or like we're poking a hole in a ship and stuff's getting out. It's not like that. It's just, yeah.

I think it takes a lot of power and thrust to get. But that's what I'm saying. You said like water was attached to the spaceship. You thrust through it now. So, you know, you, you're leaving it. You gotta be leaving some kind of opening for something to escape.

But it's not like that gas is trying to get out and it's being held in by something. It's being pulled down to the gravity of the earth. So if something goes through it, it's still going to be affected by the gravity of the earth. It's not like they're by a door that's waiting to get kicked open. But when the earth is...

weighed essentially how are you are you weighing the atmosphere too nobody's weighing the earth so if the the water goes into the clouds is that that's all part of it in the way that's all part of it but the way it's just an estimate you can't put the earth on a scale obviously yeah yeah a big enough scale

Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could. Rachel Pankow. There are six. Pankow. Ninevehs.

In the U.S. And four of them are on the route of the April 8th solar eclipse. Don't doubt dusting. That comment couldn't have come at a better time. I'll be honest with you. Thank you, Rachel. There is. That's what I'm saying. I mean, you know, when things are happening in the sky like this, I just think it's silly to just think that it's nothing. That's all I'm saying. The water might get out. It might. It might. Thank you, Rachel.

ebay motors is here for the ride remember when you first saw the potential and then through some elbow grease fresh installs and a whole lot of love you transformed a hundred thousand miles and a body full of rust into a drive that's all your own look to your left look to your right it is official no one's got a ride like this

There is nothing else that sounds like, feels like, or looks like the set of wheels in your garage. With over 122 million parts, you can make sure your number one ride or die stays running smoothly. So there's no limit to how far you can take it. Brake kits, turbochargers, engines, exhaust kits, roof racks, LED headlights, bumpers, whatever your baby needs, eBay Motors has it all.

And with eBay guaranteed fit, it's guaranteed to fit your ride the first time. Every time are your money back. Plus at these prices, well, you're burning rubber, not cash. Keep your ride or die alive at ebaymotors.com. Eligible items only. Exclusions apply.

Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, you're listening to us talk while you're driving, cleaning, exercising, or even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you can save money by doing it right from your phone.

Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what.

Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations.

I have a few things I want to talk about, but Dusty, you were talking about a Johnny Cash song. Yeah, I had this idea. I mean, we all travel a lot, right? And there's a Johnny Cash song. Now, I believe it was a Hank Snow song first, but Johnny Cash is a more well-known version. But it's called I've Been Everywhere. And I thought, what if we went through all these cities that he names and see how many of them we've all been to?

I mean, because we've traveled so many places. And I wonder if together we've all been everywhere. Now, there's a couple I don't even know where they're at. A couple I feel like made up cities to me. But I've been to a lot of these. Do you know if these are all real towns? I do not know. I just went to Bangor. Bangor, Maine. It's Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota. What is Winslow?

I don't know if I've been to Winslow. I thought you were saying Windsor yesterday when we talked about it. Winslow, Wichita. Yeah, I don't know what Tocapilla, Barranquilla.

Or Padilla is. I've been to Amarillo. Amarillo. El Salvador. I've been to El Salvador. Yeah. Baltimore. Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma. I've been to all those. But maybe Salvador is its own place. Are we talking about Panama or Panama City Beach? I think Panama City Beach counts as Panama. I've been there. Yeah. And I don't know what La Paloma is either. So we got most of the first verse. There's a lot of cities. Oh, wow. Yeah. Baltimore.

Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana, Washington, Houston. I've been to all those. Kingston. I don't know about that. Is that Kingston, Tennessee? Isn't there Kings? There is a Kingston, Tennessee. Well, then that counts, right? You've been there. I have. What county is it in? Well, there's Kingston Springs, which is in Cheatham County. Okay. Texarkana. I feel like I've been there, but I don't know. Monterey. Faraday.

Santa Fe, for sure. Tallapoosa. I used to swim in the Tallapoosa River back in the day. Tallapoosa is Alabama? I think Tallapoosa is Alabama, yeah. And there's a river that I used to swim in called the Tallapoosa River. Okay. My dad told us not to do it, but we did it anyway. So wait, does the song go, he goes to Oskaloosa, Tennessee, and then just Tennessee? Yeah, I guess so. Tennessee, Tennessee, Chicopee.

Chickapee. Never heard of that. It's kind of all over the place with cities, then you'll throw a state in. Devil's like, I've been there. And here are the big heavy hitters here. Verse three is where you really get into it. Louisville, Nashville, Knoxville. And then I'm doing the Amabika Funny Bone this weekend. I've been to Pittsville, Pittsville, Mass.

Oh, Fitzgerald, Massachusetts. I love 500 Organs. Oh, yeah, yeah. Life change. Springfield, there's a million of those. Right. Bakersfield, I've not been to. I've been there. Shreveport. I think Jellicoe's in Tennessee. Hacky Sack. Fond du Lac, I feel like I've been to. I don't know where that's at, but I do feel like I've been there. France, maybe? I'm thinking it's... No, it's... Davenport. Davenport.

Dude, how long is the song? Pasadena. This seems like something we should do on your own. I'm bringing ideas here. People are listening. Well, all these people's cities could be mentioned here. Opelika, there you go. See, Opelika, that's where I grew up. They're spelling it weird, though. I don't even think there's a city spelled like that. Kalamazoo.

Sioux City? Cedar City? That city, what a pity.

I mean, all these people's, you know, people live in these places. There's probably a listener from every city. Yeah, but they got, the heart rate went up. And they were like, oh yeah, they're talking about it. They go, add more. They go, woo. I bet they did. Look at this gravel bird. Like, well, no one mentions us ever. Do you imagine we start talking about this? You're from Baraboo and you're like, oh man, they're going to talk about Baraboo. Yes. Take it lightly. It just never happens. Chaska, Nebraska, Alaska. Yeah.

Chattanooga. Yeah. See, I don't think there's an Opelika spelled like that. I do think he's talking about Opelika, Alabama. Okay.

Well, that's fun. I haven't listened to the song now that I'm traveling a little bit. I have been to a lot of these. It's fun to cross a lot of them off the list. Try to enjoy yourselves. Thank you, John. That was a good time. Yeah. That was a good time. Good to reflect every now and then on kind of where we've been. This is the stuff that you should do with the time you have during the day. Yeah. And your own time, you should sit down. I do all these things. Yeah. But, you know.

I'm trying to have some fun with you guys. Yeah. Yeah. He has to refuse to have fun. Oh, no, I don't. It's a shared experience. Oh, yeah. Who cares about these cities? I love those cities. I just think listed cities are going, yeah, maybe.

No. Well, you guys all zoomed through it. Rexburg. Yeah, he went so fast. How long is this song? I mean, typical length. What did you want to do? Not stairway to heaven. I was feeling the weight of it as I'm scrolling through. Look up Gravelburg. See, that's a city. Gravelburg, a small multicultural town in Saskatchewan and a key link on the Trans-Canada Trail. There you go.

Wow. I've never been there. You know, I didn't expect us to go through and look up the cities. I just thought, you know, we could go through and just see what we've been to. It was fun. Yeah. It was fun.

Look, I love it. Yeah. Someone else, the one, I mean, Brian helps maybe earn me some respect for some of the things I throw out, but let somebody else give it a shot. I'd say we, we did this in a shorter time than the actual song is. Yeah. We could have wrote this song. Yeah. Yeah.

It was about a minute and a half. Yeah. That was good. How long is this song? I mean, it was a lot of cities, dude. I feel like, all right. You think he went to Gravelburg? I don't know if Johnny Cash went to Gravelburg. No, I don't think he went to half these places. I don't think he went to Mount Julian. Well, it is a Hank Snell song. I saw him at Mount Julian.

Does he say Mount Julian there? No. I saw Johnny Cash in Mount Julian. Is that when we saw him on the train? Yeah. Okay. He lived in Hendersonville. Of all the cities I could have picked. He lived in Hendersonville and Charlie Daniels lived in Mount Julian. When I moved to Hendersonville, they used to say, this is where Johnny Cash lived. And he would get so drunk in Nashville, he would walk all the way back to Hendersonville. I think he did that one time. He must have maybe. Wait, he did it from one time? I thought.

I think it's a legendary story. It's even in the movie about it. He walks all the way back to Hendersonville. But if you get Nashville to Hendersonville, Tennessee is how long a walk is this? It's a six hour walk. Well, you did that on your treadmill. But I mean, I wasn't hammered at three in the morning and I'm not Johnny Cash. Yeah, but you can get when you get real drunk and mad, you can do a walk. Oh, do you assume he was angry? Yeah. Yeah. Nobody does that walk when they're happy.

That dude was upset. He had to walk through Rivergate. Yeah, that's tough. Oh, man. You got to be on high alert walking through there. I wonder where they tell you to go walk. Just down the beat on Veterans. I've gotten mad at a party and left and walked quite a distance. Not six hours. Anywhere in particular or just walking it off? Just getting out of there. Like Forrest Gump. I'll go somewhere. Because people didn't like your joke?

Yeah, who knows? I mean, yeah, but yeah, I mean, that could, that could. Yeah, I could do it. Have you guys seen that We Are The World documentary on Netflix? Not yet, no. All right, I'll wait there. Never heard of it. Yeah, you know the song, right? We Are The World?

I think Waylon Jennings, they were singing that song somewhere and he walked off. He got, nah, that ain't for me. He was invited. Yeah. He was there. Yeah. And Stevie Wonder's like, I think we need to put some Swahili in this. And Waylon Jennings was like, ain't no country boy singing Swahili. Got his hat and left. I don't know what Swahili is, but I do like- It's an African language. I just like that Waylon Jennings was singing a song like We Are The World and he was like,

Turns out I'm not the world. I'm just me. Well, he's still saying it, right? He left halfway through. I mean, it's like three in the morning and he's like, I'm out of here. It was after some big award show. The Grammys was, it was the American music awards, which was back then. So big. Wow. Richie hosted the American music awards, won six awards that night and then has to coordinate all these people, uh,

And it was a who's who of singers to go record this after the award show. Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young. Bruce Springsteen was on tour just finishing up and flew there. Paul McCartney wasn't there. Paul Simon was. Paul McCartney wasn't. Neil Young wasn't either. Why were they singing it? Neil Young was. Neil Young was? I thought so. They didn't show him. To raise money for Africa, famine relief.

And it's a great documentary. It was, it's like 40 of the biggest egos in the world all have to come together. And Quincy Jones, who was the direct composer, he put up a note, check your ego at the door. And we figured out who had the biggest, and that was Waylon Jennings. Well, in some ways, and Prince. Prince was the only big star they didn't get to come, according to the documentary. He wanted to come play his guitar and be in another room. And they're like, nah, that's not what we're doing here.

Not Neil Young. I was thinking of Smokey Robinson. You did? Yeah. I've talked to him. People get Neil Young and Smokey Robinson confused all the time. Yeah, I always get them mixed up. I was thinking either him or Bette Midler, and then I got confused. My bad. It would be equivalent of if you got 40 of the biggest comics in the world.

It would be like anywhere from Jerry Seinfeld to Bruce Bruce. Yeah, yeah. Because, I mean, it was a. And then you just call it the Netflix festival. Yeah, you're right. Cat Williams to Seinfeld. To get everybody. It's a great documentary. Cat Williams is the guy. He would be the Waylon Jennings of that. And he's, hey, no way. I mean, Willie Nelson stuck around. He was in it. I'm not singing his boy, boy. I love that.

Well, that's a great, if you have a chance, check it out. Yeah. It's pretty awesome. They did a new, did they talk about the new one they did? They did one a few years ago. We are the world 25 year anniversary or something. With Taylor Swift? No, I don't even know if she was on it, but Justin Bieber and like Usher and Snoop Dogg and everybody.

Not quite the same. You ever see the movie? I don't think it's quite, it's pretty hard to get people to do stuff like this anymore. You ever see the movie Dickie Roberts? Yeah. With David Spade at the end of that movie, they do a thing. We, we love being child stars and they had, it was so great. They had all these former child stars singing a song and it was like, it was so good. Like, cause it was like, we, we love being child stars, but like leave us alone now about it.

and it had Marsha Brady on. I mean, it was so good. Shia LaBeouf. Dickie Roberts was such an underrated movie. It's a really good movie. It's really good. I watched it not too long ago. It's really good. I'll check it out. It's probably better than Shawshank. In a lot of ways. Shawshank got replaced, didn't it? For the best movie of all time? No. What are you talking about? Somebody said that and they were lying.

I thought IMDB replaced it with Dune 2. That's ridiculous. I mean, I'll be so mad if that's the case, but I doubt it is. Shawshank's still number one on the top 250. Okay, it was some ranking where it said Dune 2 replaced Shawshank. The Brian Bates personal ranking? What is this?

Could you Google that to see? Is IMDb, is that the real... It is for me because it has the results I want. Yeah. But I don't know if it's like the go-to reference list. But I feel like this is an aggregate of all the IMDb voters on here. One and two, I don't think I've seen. Godfather? I think me and Laura tried to watch it once. I don't know. It's long, dude. I mean, it's three hours. I got it recorded.

Well, finding it's not going to be hard. I know. It came on. It was on commercials. No, no. Like HBO or something. Godfather one and two is really good. And three is as bad as everybody says it is. I tried because I

Somebody had told me they were like, I think you'd be into it. They talk about a little bit like government kind of stuff. And I watched and I was like, this is such a terrible movie. I started watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I've never seen that. That one's really good. It's super sad though. Well, I kind of stopped watching it. I bought it. It made me so mad. Why did it make you mad? Well, I was just trying to...

I'm trying to be like, all right, let me go watch some... These movies that you're supposed to have watched. Yeah, yeah. And I have really liked seeing Jack Nicholson being like, I want to go watch... See if this actor can pull me in. You know, like Daniel Day-Lewis does, where he watches you and you're just like, I can't not watch this guy. And so I was like, all right, I'll watch this. And so I was trying to get it... It was like...

it was like not that much money or something, you know, where it's like one of those with a renting it or buying it where like, it's basically the same price. Yeah. So I just bought it. And then I, I started watching it and then I stopped like halfway through or something. And then I saw it's like on Netflix now.

And I think about it every, it just makes me, cause I, I couldn't find, I looked it up and I didn't know. And now it's on Netflix. You're like, I mean, I just, so now I just think about that three 99 you could have had. No, it's not the money. I just think about it sitting. It just sits in my thing now. Just some folder. And I want to be like, I want it to go away. Now I'm so mad that it won't go away.

It's so sad, this movie. I should have rented it, even if it was the same price. I was practicing his monologue at the beginning for an acting class one time. Really? Yeah, the thing at the beginning where he's talking to the therapist is really good, but I didn't do it. Did you see where Vanderbilt's former quarterback talked about the mafia approaching him to throw a game? No.

So this guy, you remember Mo Hassan? Yeah. I don't think he would have to throw it. Yeah. Well, that's the running joke. But he said he was approached at a bar. You got to try your hardest to win it. Yeah. He was approached at a bar by the mafia and offered $300,000. Oh my gosh. And he says, I mean, he says to the people, he said, well, you lose anyway. He said, well, you never heard of prop bets.

And plus, there's a point spread. I mean, you can still – it's not like you're just betting straight up who's going to win between Vanderbilt and Alabama. I think that's a bet you take, though. If the mob approaches you and you're like, you know what? We're probably not going to win anyway. Let's go ahead and – Lose by a little more? Yeah. Make some little money here. Now, people have been rebuking him, like, this guy barely even played, so, you know –

I don't believe him, though. I figured he would because he's basically saying the games are being thrown. He says a lot of Alabama players. He said, I don't want to say names because they're in the NFL now, but they're throwing games, although they're always winning. So I don't know what they're doing. But there's some big games where it's like Alabama's like crushing, and then all of a sudden they lose. It's like, what happened here? I think that about Alabama-Michigan. Once every 10 years? I think about that Alabama-Michigan game.

I don't think they threw it, but it is like, how'd you beat Georgia like that? And then you lost to Michigan. I don't get it. I don't think.

I love Michigan. It's hard to argue there's been some conspiracy against Alabama football given the last 20 years of unparalleled success. I'm not saying there's a conspiracy against it, but it's like, how do you play so well one game and then lose? Georgia was really the best team in the country. Yeah, that's why you play the game. It's a game. Things happen. I just think there's room for discussion. Yeah, okay.

There is room for discussion. Yeah. I don't know if there's reason for it, but there's definitely room. Well, I mean, there's so much money involved in all this stuff. Do you remember this quarterback? Yeah, I do. Mo Hassan. eBay Motors is here for the ride. Remember when you first saw the potential?

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The Helix mattress and pillow, it's good. I mean, I was undervaluing a mattress for a long time in my life. I had mattresses with coils sticking out and I ran over one with a car one time and it was all bent up. When I got rid of the mattress I got rid of, it was so flimsy. I took it out, I dragged it out of my apartment and I threw it in this dumpster and it was folded. Mm-hmm.

How'd you run over a mattress? I was moving and well, my friend ran over it, but I was, uh, I was moving and I had it strapped on the back of a truck, but I only had one strap. So we were going over a bridge and the wind picked it up and it flew into the air like a kite and it landed on this bridge. Cars were everywhere. And my buddy just ran right over it. And then we picked it up, put it on the back of the truck, kept it for eight more years. Oh my God.

It was a raggedy mattress. Yeah, it wasn't good to start with. But it was like, I would go look at mattresses in the store and then the price would be so expensive that I was like, nah. Because mattresses are expensive. But it's something you sleep on every night. A third of your life, they say. Yeah. And it's worth it to make a little investment. And you can even- When you're young, it's just-

Yeah. And unlike the world, mattresses do gain weight over time. Oh, yeah. Disgusting. There ain't nothing to leave in that atmosphere. Well, I want to tell you this, Dusty, because I think you're getting ready to do some shows in Vegas. And you are too, right? Yeah. And me. I'm here next weekend. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in Vegas next weekend. Not this weekend or next week? Next weekend. Yeah. Same time? 19, 20.

Oh, no. The next weekend. 29th and 30th. Okay. I don't know. Oh, a couple of weeks. All right. Well, I totally told the wrong person. I was like, oh, no. I think I'm going at some point. I was like, oh, no. No, that would be fun. Vegas is its own thing. Yeah. Vegas is, it's kind of different.

it's not uh for me to be the same no it's not like going to your town like you know it's not like it's uh it's not like we were in pittsburgh on the same night yeah it's uh no offense to pittsburgh yeah but i get it yeah it's a it's a little different because you know if you're at where are you wise guys wise guys yeah yeah it's like i mean they're yeah people are going to that club like there are people kind of going to the venues you know

Yeah. Okay. Sorry. I directed you at the wrong person. No, I am going at some point. All right. Well, anyway, this will be to you then. TSA. I like this. TSA PreCheck now has self-screening. Trying this out where you can screen yourself. So it might be something you can give it a shot.

Self-screening? What is this all about? It's only at the Las Vegas airport for now and only for TSA pre-check customers and only using the English language. Okay. So it incorporates a screen with do-it-yourself instructions telling people how to smoothly pass themselves and their carry-on luggage through pre-flight screening with little or no help from the uniformed TSA officers. How about that? They want to avoid passengers having to be padded down according to the Homeland Security regulations.

How about that? That's interesting. I can't wait to try that out. I'll be flying out of there in a couple weeks. So they just let you do it. It's man.

That's the staffing shortage, right? It feels like. I don't know. It feels like. I don't like it. I feel like they should just let us get on the plane. I think it's all. I think security at all is ridiculous. Like maybe a metal detector or something. But the rest of this is ridiculous. We're treated like criminals for trying to get on a plane. It's like it's completely ridiculous. But if you can do it yourself and get through there quick, it's like, yeah, I don't mind. It feels like a trap, though. A trap?

How are you going to screen yourself? Like I'm screening myself when I pack up to go to the airport. And now you ever see people at self-checkout in the grocery store, they're going, oh, the grapes. And they're trying. That's what this will be. There'll be a learning curve, but you pull your own bag out. Is there anything sharp in here before opening it? Yeah.

They'll say, yeah, you'll mess up. And then they'll say a customer service agent will be with you shortly. I feel like every, every so-called improvement is always making things worse. It's like the, the, the new x-ray machines for our bags at the Nashville airport. They're like brand new, but slower. It's like, it's so slow. I may have a joke about it, so I don't want to get too into it, but it's so slow now. Maybe they're getting a better look.

You know, they're really looking. That's their justification, right? But that's how everything is. And then all it takes is people going, well, this is going to be safer for us guys. And the people that think that the TSA is just... And listen, I know people just have jobs and I'm not talking about individual people here, but the organization, everybody goes, hey, it's just looking out for our safety, guys. It's just for our safety. And it's like, listen...

We don't need it. It's ridiculous. Even in Nashville now, they have signs going, oh, just so you know, TSA stopped a guy with a gun the other day. And it's like, yeah, probably a normal dude with a gun who wasn't going to do anything with it. And it's like, what's he going to do on the plane with the gun? Just a normal guy in a bit of a hurry with a gun on him, sweating a bit. Shooting us on the plane? I don't think so.

And if they do, so be it. You know what I mean? It was time anyway, dude. I mean, well, you know. I can't wait to try this, dude. I'll be trying this soon. Yeah. How about that, dude? Welcome to the future, ladies and gentlemen. Self-checkout at TSA. Yeah. I knew you would embrace it, Aaron. I kind of thought you would, Dusty, but I guess it went backwards. I don't really have a choice but to.

force myself to enjoy the experience. Oh, there's a guy in the camera there. Yeah, they're zooming in. Yeah. Yeah. That's a trap. I'm all about it, dude. I can't wait. Why do you not want them to... But you think people should be allowed to take guns on planes? I just think it's like... It doesn't... It wouldn't matter to me. Yeah. Well, it's almost... Yeah, you're like, well...

If we all take guns and if someone is bad with a gun, the other people have guns. We have a shootout on a plane and then we just land safely. And then it's all to watch. Yeah. Yeah. Let's give us, let's put, you know, let's have a, you know, each plane has a flight attendant that's, you know, gun certified, trained and ready to go. Ready to roll. Yeah. Well, that's an air marshal. Yeah. But then don't you think she would then go,

You know what? Could I get some help also maybe do a metal detector just to, so I'm, cause I'm doing, I'm fighting a lot. It's a multiple gun. It's every fight. Every flight is like people with guns. I just don't think it'd be that big of a deal. I think the, you know, nobody would, you know, if, if somebody, the first time somebody popped up with a gun on a plane and that flight attendant took them down, everybody would be like,

all right, listen, they're ready on these things. Let's not mess around here. Did, well, like Australia is like that where you don't, do you walk to a metal detector though? I think you, you said it was very must be. I can't remember, like I know I'm blanking on it, but I mean the old, when you, like before 9-11, I mean you didn't, the security was pretty loose. Yeah. We, I remember when I was a kid,

We went to an airport in Atlanta, and I think me and my mom went to meet someone, and we had to – for whatever reason, we had to go through security. I had a toy gun in my mom's bag. It got flagged, and they took the toy gun. But security was – they say pretty loose, but they still took the gun. So I think there could be a way to –

You know, metal detect the guns, but we don't have to go through all this. Some scanner for our body and get patted down and TSA treat us like we're like we've done something wrong. They're grabbing up. Like I was at the TSA the other day and there was a pretty attractive woman that had to go through that thing.

and then it like it identified like around her crotch area and i was like so now you got to have some lady come over and like you know touch on this lady and i'm like that's i don't i'm not for it i don't support yeah i think that's a look at this guy taking these pictures in this video what is this guy doing what right there that guy i think he's doing what i'm gonna be doing in a couple weeks which is documenting this whole experience he's like taking pictures that

It doesn't make sense. I think he's just a customer blown away by this technology. He's taking pictures in a weird way. He's an excited traveler, dude. You've never been this excited to go to Vegas? Yeah, but it's weird. Or to leave Vegas? Yeah. I've been that excited to leave. It's a little sidestep. Yeah. Yeah, I don't. It's going to be an experience, man. I'm excited. They lock you in that box. They find something, they lock you in that little box. It's my new life philosophy. When you're dreading something, just convince yourself that it's going to be great.

You know, find a way to enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I love it. I can't wait to go through TSA Las Vegas. It's going to be fun. I can't wait to hear about it. The self. If you make it back. That's true. If I get back. Huh? What if the thing is like, oh, if you check yourself in, but if you don't do it right, it's like taxes. But if you don't do it right, you'll go to jail. Yeah.

That's true. But we know how you're supposed to do it, but we're not going to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A couple more. I mean, Applebee's and IHOP. He's talking about merging. You guys heard this? Some stores. Oh, yeah. That sounds like a good combo. That's like America and Delta getting together. That's like a desperate attempt to stay alive. Well.

They kind of admit they both could use some help. Oh, really? They're both struggling? They're both like, you know, they have a customer base that we could use to kind of solidify. I think they've tried this. Ironically, they've tried this in Mexico a few places. Why is that ironic? I don't know. I feel like two American companies

They would try it here before they would try it in other countries. I just feel like, what are they going to do? Although IHOP is international. Is IHOP going to open breakfast in the morning and then it just turns into Applebee's at night? I think you can get them both all day. You would just go in and be like, I want... Man, that's a lot of... I think. It'll be weird to be sitting at a table while you're eating chicken...

broccoli alfredo and then you gotta sit across stack of pancakes and you're like oh you can eat pancakes and you're like what are we doing yeah you order a steak and there's still syrup on the table yeah maybe i'm wrong but i'll take a chinese chicken salad i'll have the waffle and french toast with a chocolate syrup on it like don't be i don't know if i can i don't like when people order uh

I like the table to be in unity on what we're doing. Really? Yeah. Like if someone ordered breakfast? Yeah. I'm like, either we're all eating breakfast or we're all eating lunch. Why do you think you care about that? I think it's... I feel it feels weird and gross. Like if it's like someone's doing pancakes and someone's got a burger and I'm like, what are we doing? Like, it feels...

And I want everybody to be just your table or do you look around the whole restaurant? You're like, we all got to get, no, just my table. Okay. Like, you know, better help me. Well, it might be, but if we're, you know, like, Oh, like, let's all go get breakfast and we're all going to get breakfast. And it's, and then it's like, someone's like, well, I want a salad. And you're like,

No, you should be on our. It's like staying up all night. Like if you're up at 4 a.m. and then somebody else is getting up for work at 4, you're on different realities. It's still nighttime for you. It's morning for them. That's what's happening in the restaurant. You're like, don't bring, don't worlds collide here. Yeah. I understand it's 11 o'clock, you know, but I mean, it's, you know, we're not, yeah, we're not.

Yeah, I guess it is. It's like someone from the outside coming in your world. Because it's like as comedy, you're like walking around. You're like, well, we all stayed up till three. Yeah. We're all eating breakfast at 11. Yeah. And you're just like in your own little thing. And then just someone comes in out of nowhere and is like, I'll take a salad. You're like, well, you should probably leave this table. Yeah.

because we're not. The vibe is not the same. You're off the tour. Yeah, you messed the whole. Well, if someone did that. I get it. I get it. Yeah, I think it's a common thing. But yeah, like if someone that was on the tour did it, that would be insane to me. That I wouldn't. You would never let them live it down. It would be tough. I think I might have brought it up before, but it would be tough for me not to be like, what are you doing?

I mean, I think we've been through this. Yeah. Well, it's the unity is the whole point of comedy. Then you make fun of the person that does the thing differently. But isn't that argument fun too? It's like you almost wish somebody would do it because it's fun. It's a fun situation. No, yeah. It's a fun situation. You would just, you know. So if you go to eat with Jimmy Fallon in a group, you let Jimmy order first just to set the tone. You let him take the lead. I would say we're all eating breakfast, right? And he'd be like, yeah. And someone's like, I want something else. I'd be like, yeah.

I would say something. You're holding somebody by the neck. We're getting breakfast, right? What if they go, I'll have a breakfast burger? Splitting the difference. I want a burger. A little bit of both. Put some hash browns on it. Yeah. I think I'd be okay with that. Okay. I like that. Maybe pancakes with a side salad. Yeah. Maybe. No, that's crazy. Maybe. You could do that. I could do it. A burger. Oh, yeah. I can eat a lot of stuff. Pancake buns.

Yeah. You took a real bite. I heard the bite. Yeah. Is that a thing? That's like a McGriddle. McGriddle. Okay. They do sausage. You're just eating breakfast now. Except you don't eat sausage, so you'd have to be a burger. Or McDonald's. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I want you guys to see, like really demonstrate. Yeah. It did help. Buffet probably changes things, right? Buffet is a whatever.

Let's say you're doing a buffet at like noon. So Sunday. I would still want our table. To be on the same page. To be on the same page. But maybe like a second trip. I want to go try something else over there. I think you go hard at the thing. I guess there's a little wiggle room with the buffet, but I still would want us to be on the same. Mm-hmm.

I mean, are they going to really mix breakfast? You told me that. Sometimes it's like a brunch buffet. Then it's whatever. A brunch is whatever. You're going to brunch. So it is whatever you want to go do. But brunch still leans a little more breakfast. I agree. What if you do two plates? First time to the buffet, breakfast stuff.

second trip to the buffet, lunch time. And you orchestrated everybody. All right, second trip has got to be lunch. You get caught up. If you did it, yeah, yeah. If you orchestrated it, this is just my table. Everybody else can do whatever they want to do. Right, right, of course. But it's...

Get the whole restaurant involved. Be like, listen, everyone, it'd make me a lot more comfortable if you would all order lunch. Well, I think if you're eating lunch, you just say, what are you doing here? What are you doing at a place that even is offering breakfast? The reason you're going to a place that's offering breakfast is to get breakfast. Right. But Applebee's, IHOP. That's the whole point of this IHOP and Applebee's is they're like, let's just, let's own the whole day. What's their name going to be?

Apple hop. That's not a bad name. A hop. Applebee's house of pancakes.

A-hop. That's not bad. I like that. I think they should take it. Applebee's slash IHOP. That's too many names. Just put both logos on there. What about the Taco Bell KFC or something? Yeah, they have both logos up there. It's not called something distinct. But that kind of works. I think that works for fast food. It doesn't work for

They're going to share a kitchen. The back of the house will be shared. And then they blend the front of the house for both brands. So they said, interesting. Yeah. I love it. I can't wait. Two different smells too. Yeah. Like you're going to smell wings go by as you eat your pancakes. That just throws you through a whirlwind. You're like, I can't. It's too much. Blue cheese falling on the table and you got syrup on pancake and you're just looking at that blue cheese and you're like, dude, man,

Why don't we have blue cheese? Why is it even here? Some mozzarella sticks. You're trying to have fresh toast. I think it changes you and Laura's relationship. If this was going on when you and Laura met, if she was an IHOP girl, who knows? Yeah. It could have been different. What do you think about surge charges that they're talking about? I saw that. Wendy's. Wendy's back down saying we're not doing surge. Didn't we talk about this? Oh.

Where they're saying when it's busy, it's going to cost more. That's the story that came out. We talked about this. I thought we made jokes about this because it was... Maybe on the bus? I don't remember talking about it. No, it wasn't Jimmy Fallon.

Because it was the idea of just... Yeah, you have me doubting whether we did or not, but you've already agreed Brian has the best memory about this. I know, but I still think we did because I think I made a joke about you going in right before Serge Price or something. This might have been just you being mean in your head. This is you watching the news. This is the podcast I host. Yeah. Alone in my head every night. Yeah, yeah. Like you'd go in, you know, to try to get...

You know, you can see that line at like, you know, like,

3 p.m. is like everybody knows. Uh-huh. Go in there and that's when it's. I would know the exact right time to go in there. What if you're in line? Buy low, sell high. You're in line. You get a burger for three. You're at the cashier. You get a burger for three bucks. But then while you're in there, the line builds up. So the guy two or three behind you, it's five bucks for him, but he heard you get it for three. Yeah. But they were like, it got busy. Mm-hmm.

Right. Well, that's what people were worried about. And they're saying that's not what they were doing. But I, but it feels like that's what they were. That's what they were planning on doing. Yeah. Yeah.

They're like, we were just testing the board how we could change prices. Maybe we'll lower prices when it's slow. Yeah, we'll do it to lower prices. Yeah, that's what you'll do. Yeah, it's crazy. Just be a business or go out of business. Either figure it out or go out of business. Have a gun. Adapt or die. Adapt or die. Hey, you go into Wendy's, they don't check if you have a gun. Yeah, that's right. Get some guns up in there. You get some discounts. Yeah.

They do surge pricing. I've seen it on an airplane where you, it, I was doing it to myself. One time we were flying and I was buying, it was like us three and then my mom and dad. And so I was buying all five tickets. And as I bought the seats, they would go like, after you bought three more and I was trying to get two more, they went up.

Because it was in higher demand. It looked like it was a demand. And I'm like, but I think we try to call them. They're like, it's just crazy. It is what it is. But I'm trying to buy these five. You're betting against yourself. Individually, these are all not that high. Right. But because I'm trying to buy five, they're like, well, then the other two are expensive. And you could watch it change. The number would change. So we had to call them to be like,

Why is this number changing? I don't know. And they're like, well, there's a lot of demand for that seat. You're like, yeah, it's me. Yeah, it's me. I'm the demand. So I'm trying to buy them for this exact price. Yeah. It's wild. To Wendy's, dude. If you walk in, make a big, you know, what's the purpose of the magic wand? What is it? Did you bring this in? Mm-mm.

I don't know. I thought you brought it. No, I don't know what this is. Okay. Better put that away. Sorry, Dusty. Oh, yeah. I didn't bring this in. That is a magic wand. I didn't bring this in at all. I thought it seemed like you would. This isn't one of the ones that I recognize. It's not the elder wand. Oh. But... I'm sorry. I don't want to touch it. Sorry. Don't point it at me. You guys were okay with magic.

Yeah. So they're fine. I'm fine. Yeah. Go ahead and play with that. Yeah. Go ahead and play. See what happens. Good luck on your flight. Where are you going to be, Nate? I'm home.

I'm home. Wow. Yeah. I'm home this weekend. And then it gears up hard as always Vegas. And then two shows, Boston Garden, then Reno, Sacramento, Anaheim. Then the special, I think, in San Jose. And then special taping, two shows, April 13th, April 14th at the Footprint Center. We're very close to this special taping. Closer than I'm.

How many shows do I have? Oh, I'm doing a bunch there, though. It's like six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. Twelve shows. Twelve shows.

And then I'll be taping the old special. If you want to come to your spots at Wise Guys, I can probably give you a few minutes. Pop down. You won't be there then. I'll be there. Yeah, the weekend you have off. I'm saying if you're trying to hop in there. Oh, I have a weekend off after that. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it was. Easter weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's Easter week. I have this week and then next week's kind of crazy that I'm off. And then after that, I think it's like bananas until the end of the year.

This Saturday, I'm in Columbia, Tennessee at the Mule House. And the next weekend, March 22nd, 23rd, Tacoma Comedy Club, Tacoma, Washington, then Helium in Portland, Oregon. And then April 6th at the Plaza Theater in Miamisburg, Ohio. Another place in the path of the eclipse. I'll be there two days before the eclipse. I'm out there.

This weekend is Aaron, by the way. I'm in Lowell, Arkansas at the Grove Comedy Club. Northwest Arkansas. Yeah, just you couldn't hear the age in that. And then I'm in Las Vegas at Wise Guys at the end of March. So come on out. Aaron Weber comedy.com. Is that a new website? No, it's just my link tree. Oh, yeah.

This weekend, I'm in Connecticut at the Hartford Funny Bone, 15th and the 16th. And then next weekend, I got a couple of – I'm very excited. I've not been to Hartford in a long time. I opened for John Heffron there in 2015, and I haven't been back since. So I'm very excited. But then I got a couple of theater shows at the –

In Iowa City, Iowa and in Lincoln, Nebraska next weekend. It's Lincoln on March 22nd and it's Iowa City on March 23rd. Very exciting. So I need those to happen.

you know, sell well. So people are like, all right, he's doing theaters and not like, oh, maybe a little early. But as this podcast is coming out, I'll be going to New York City. I'm going to do a couple more podcasts. I'm trying to keep people watching my Netflix special called Working Man. And it's out there and it's still doing well, but I'm going to pump it up, you know, keep it going. Keep people watching that thing. Tell your friends or your enemies.

Anybody. Yeah. Charles Bukowski fans, apparently. It's a lot like that. So yeah. Tell those people. Yeah. All right. All right. That's it. Well, I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful week or having a week and we will see you next week. All right. Love you. Bye. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi and my wife, Laura on the audio boom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

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