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Hey there. We here at The Moth have an exciting opportunity for high school sophomores, juniors, and seniors who love to tell stories. Join The Moth Story Lab this fall. Whether for an aspiring writer, a budding filmmaker, or simply someone who loves to spin a good yarn, this workshop is a chance to refine the craft of storytelling. From brainstorming to that final mic drop moment, we've got students covered.
Plus, they'll make new friends, build skills that shine in school and beyond, and have a blast along the way. These workshops are free and held in person in New York City or virtually anywhere in the U.S. Space is limited. Apply now through September 22nd at themoth.org slash students. That's themoth.org slash students. Welcome to The Moth Podcast. I'm Sarah Austin-Ginness, The Moth's Executive Producer.
Every week in 2022, The Moth has been celebrating its 25th anniversary by revisiting our history, counting down year by year. In 2006, The Moth took the main stage out on our first ever 10-city Moth story tour, and story slams expanded to Los Angeles. I had
I had also just finished my first year on Staff at the Moth, and I'll never forget this one wild 2006 main stage. We decided to present The Seven Deadly Sins, a night with seven stories for seven sins, a story for every sin.
only for Moth members, along with the New York Public Library's Young Lions, a group of literary-minded New Yorkers in their 20s and 30s. When word of our plan hit the streets, our phones rang off the hook, with people begging to become Moth members just to get in the room. I was picking up these phones and trying to negotiate, with the pledge numbers going through the roof, thank God.
and the theater capacity was filled to the brim in minutes. And the night of, there was such buzz and we were so overly sold out that I had a very nice conversation with the, as I remember, very cute fire marshal who came to the New York Public Library to make sure everyone was safe. I did my best to speak with him in hushed tones as I stared at his fire axe and tried to keep the door closed to prevent
to preserve the sound recording. Andy Borowitz hosted this memorable show, and today we'll hear from him and feature two of the seven stories told that night. Gluttony, told by vocal cartoonist Zero Boy, and Lust, told by writer Erika Zhang. Live from the Seven Deadly Sins in 2006 at the New York Public Library, here's Andy Borowitz. Thank you.
Welcome to The Moth, The Seven Deadly Sins. It's a co-production of The Moth and The Young Lion, so let's hear it for them. Yes. And tonight's show is The Seven Deadly Sins, and I know I learned them in college, so let me see if I can remember. They are envy, anger, greed, gluttony, pride, sloth, and lust. That's not bad. Thank you.
Okay, I Googled it this afternoon, I did. I actually, I Googled investment banking and then just went, I'm feeling lucky. And that's what came up.
Now, by way of introducing all of our storytellers, I asked them all the same questions they would give their answer, which would give you some idea of what their personalities are like. And the question I asked is, there are seven deadly sins, but if you could nominate an eighth sin, what would that be? All right, we have a real special treat. We have a special guest coming up. He's going to tell a story, but it's a completely different kind of story. It's almost more of a soundscape, if you can wrap your brains around that. And I'm going to
And I asked him what he thought the eighth deadly sin should be, and he said intolerance. So with that, let's hear it for Zero Boy. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven, seven, seven deadly, deadly, deadly, deadly, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut
Yes, we have a reservation. Right this way to your table. Yes, sir. Would you like something to drink? Oh, yes. We have red wine, white wine, and blue wine. Chardonnay. Cabernet. Muscadet. Pinot Noir. Foula. Couché.
Here you go, sir. Oh!
May we offer you some appetizers? No, no, no. We're trying to lose weight. Not too many appetizers. I think we'll have the cold sesame noodles. We'll have the shrimp. We'll have the crab cakes. We'll have, yes, and some edamame. Mommy, mommy, give me some food. Glut, glut, glut, glut, glutney, glut, glut, glut, glutney, glut. Pfft.
All right, sir. May we introduce you to some of our entrees? Entree, entree, entree, entree. We have the steak surrounded by a phyllo-buttery cholesterol. Glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut. Yeah, that's my new Hummer. Yeah, it gets about two miles per gallon. Glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut, glut.
Now, may we introduce you to some of our desserts? Perhaps you'd like some coffee or tea? I was really wondering about that death by chocolate. Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck. I say, let them eat cake. Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck.
Yes, I was wondering, perhaps, could I see the bill, please? Zero Boy. You know, Zero Boy, I don't know what your process is like, but I really hope you rehearse your stuff on the subway. That's all I think. That would just be such a good thing to do.
Our last storyteller, I asked her what she thought the eighth deadly sin should be and she said shopping. Good one. Good one. Erica Jong. I'm married currently to my fourth husband for 17 years, but I had a lot of fun in between marriages. One of the people I had fun with is
was a fellow named Dart. I now call him the Meat Van Man. Both my daughter and I have used him extensively in our books. In fact, we fight over who gets to use him in the next book. Anyway, when I knew Dart, I was about 39 and he was about 26 or 25 or 24 or 23, I'm not sure.
He was tall and buff and he had icy blue eyes and he worked out at the gym all the time and he was extremely handsome and an out-of-work actor and he was, we would say, we would call it indefatigable in bed. Indefatigable in bed is once, twice, three times, four times, five times, some days seven.
And I was madly in love with him. I thought. Now remember, this is a story about lust. I was asked which seven deadly sin I wanted and I said, lust. That may be typecasting, but I decided if you can't fight him, join him. So I'm lust, okay? So
Dart was adorable. I thought he was adorable. He came into my life. He was driving a strange truck. He came for tea on a Sunday afternoon. He slid off my driveway into a snowbank and he stayed the night.
And the next night, and the next night, and the next night, and the next night. And before we knew it, Dart had been living with me for five years. He had my credit cards. I had bought him a car. He was a very expensive habit. But finally, I went to AA with Dart because Dart was a drug addict.
And I decided I would get him sober, and Dart discovered that he was a drug addict, and I discovered that Dart was my drug. And so little by little, I broke up with Dart. I broke up with Dart, and years passed, and I married a very nice man who gave me his credit cards and his car.
And it was an amazing transformation for me because all my life I had paid for men. And it was charming not to have to do that anymore. It was love. So anyway, the years passed and I'm happily married for 15 years to a very nice lawyer.
And I'm taking a little nap in my house in Connecticut where my bedroom is on the first floor and I'm sort of taking a little nap which is unlike me because I'm extremely manic and I never sleep. And the doorbell rings and I'm not wearing my glasses and I sort of wander to the door and I open it and there's this large blurry person about six foot six with an enormous pot belly.
And it's saying, "I can't believe it, baby! You don't recognize me!" And I put on my glasses and it's Dart with a pot belly. Except that his shoulders are hunched and he's got kind of waddles and he doesn't look the way he looked when I met him in that gym in Darien in 1984. And I say, "Hey! How are you?"
How's it going? How's it hanging, Dart? And he says, baby, I lost the only woman I ever loved. And I say, who was that? Baby, can I sit down at the dining room table? Sure, sure, sit down. So he sits down at the dining room table and he says, the only woman I ever loved, you. And I screwed it up.
and I want to come back. And I say, "Dart, you know, I'm married, I have a kid, I have a good marriage, it's nice, get the fuck out of here and stop interfering with my life." And he says,
He says, "Yes, I lost the only woman I ever loved and now I'm married. I'm married to Melissa. She's five foot nine and she's got humongous tits and she's had two babies and I don't know if they're mine and I have to support them and I'd love to bring them to meet you." So I get the whole picture.
wants credit cards for both his kids. Dart wants a car with two car seats in the back that will be safe in the great state of Connecticut where you can get arrested for not having car seats. It was so much easier when I was young, you know. Anyway, we have this long conversation and I tell him I'm not interested and I don't want to meet his kids.
and he should tie himself to the mast and he says, "Baby, before I go, I have something I gotta show you. Come out to my truck." So I go out to the driveway and he opens this truck and there in the back is meat. Every kind of meat you can imagine. Steaks, halibut steaks and salmon steaks and
sirloin steaks and you name it and I say what's going on and he says I'm selling meat and it's fine it's grade A meat and I said Dart what happened to your acting career you don't understand this is the meat you can only get in restaurants it's prime it's beyond prime it's double prime and he
scoops up a bunch of it and he takes it in his arms and he walks into my house and he stacks it in the freezer and I think for me a present and I look up at him and for a moment I think he's not what I thought he's not a bounder he's not a guy who just takes your money and runs away he really wants to give me something meat laughter
So I say, "Thank you, Dart. How can I ever repay you?" And he says, "Honey, there, it's about $700 worth of meat, but for you, $400. Just write the check." I make it out to my name. So I write the check. I make it out to Cash. That's what a, really, what a sweetie I am. I make out the check for $450 and I give it to Dart and he says, "Honey,
You're the love of my life. And he gets into the truck and he goes up the hill, up the steep driveway, and he doesn't drive off the driveway as he did on that first snowy night when he skidded off the driveway into my bed, and Dart is gone. My daughter and my husband come home for lunch and I'm frying crab cakes.
And I'm frying salmon steaks and halibut steaks, and I never cook, you know. The men in my life cook. And my daughter is looking at me very suspiciously. Because my daughter is a girl who used to panic when the nanny went off on Saturday and Sunday and look up at me and say, Mama, can you... But there I am, frying crab cakes. And Molly says to me...
There's a secret in those crab cakes. I wonder what it is. My daughter knows me very, very well. She says, Mom, where did you get those crab cakes? I never saw you shop for groceries in our entire life together. So my husband comes home and I serve them crab cakes and crab claws and halibut steaks and you name it.
And a few days go by and they're eating this stuff and Ken never asks where did it come from because he's very sweet. And Molly keeps rousing me. And finally after about three days I say, well, Chip is in the meat business and I thought I ought to help him out.
whereupon there's incredible laughter and kicking each other under the table and everybody is totally pissed about this. But they continue eating the crab cakes and I say that I was just trying to do a good deed and I got laughed out of town by my daughter and my husband and in my ears I kept hearing, "You're the only girl I ever loved. You are the one."
And I think about it, and I think about love, and I think about lust, and I think about how convinced I was by this fish story, lust, and how it wasn't love, but it was seven times a day, and who could tell the difference? And time had gone by, and I knew the difference now, and he had made it up the hill, and
And I still had a freezer full of frozen fish. Erica Jong. That's our show, ladies and gentlemen. Good night. Thank you. What an experimental and unforgettable night.
And as for our storytellers and host, Zero Boy is a vocal cartoonist and an East Village New York icon. Renowned for his unique blend of sound and mime, the results being akin to a performed comic book. His solo comedic routines have been featured throughout the U.S. and Europe in theaters, vaudeville, burlesque, television, radio, film, and digital media.
Erika Zhang is a celebrated poet, novelist, and essayist with over 27 published books that have been influential all over the world. Erika's most popular novel, Fear of Flying, just celebrated its 49th anniversary.
Never out of print, it has sold over 35 million copies in over 50 languages. She lives in New York with her husband and two poodles. Her daughter, Molly Jong Fast, is a writer and political essayist.
Andy Borowitz is an award-winning comedian and New York Times bestselling author. In 2001, he created The Borowitz Report, a satirical news column which has millions of readers around the world. In 2012, The New Yorker began publishing The Borowitz Report.
As a storyteller, he's hosted The Moth from 1999 to 2009. As a comedian, he's played to sold-out venues around the world, including during his national tour, Make America Not Embarrassing Again, from 2018 to 2020.
He is the first ever winner of the National Press Club's Humor Award, and he lives with his family in New Hampshire. To find out more about all of our storytellers in this episode, pitch your own story, and find out about Moth membership so you too can join us at unique nights like the Seven Deadly Sins, visit themoth.org. That's it for this episode. From all of us here at The Moth, thanks for listening, and we hope you'll join us next time.
Sarah Austin-Ginesse is a director, The Moth's executive producer, and a co-author of the best-selling How to Tell a Story, the essential guide to memorable storytelling from The Moth, which is available now wherever you get your books. This episode of The Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin-Ginesse, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Sollinger. Catherine Burns directed the stories in this episode.
This episode is dedicated to the memory of Katie Sanderson, who ran the Young Lions program in 2006 and later came to work with us at the Moth. The rest of the Moth's leadership team includes Catherine Burns, Sarah Haberman, Jennifer Hickson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Cloutier, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Leigh-Anne Gulley, Inga Glodowski, and Aldi Caza. All Moth stories are true, as remembered by their storytellers.
For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org. The Moth Podcast is presented by PRX, the public radio exchange, helping make public radio more public at PRX.org.