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cover of episode 303: Double Date

303: Double Date

2024/10/22
logo of podcast The Mess Around with Hannah and Lamorne

The Mess Around with Hannah and Lamorne

Key Insights

Why does Schmidt keep dating both Cece and Elizabeth?

Schmidt struggles with his weight and believes no woman has ever been interested in him. Now that he has two women interested, he can't say no.

Why does Jess warn Schmidt to come clean about his double dating?

Jess warns Schmidt because she knows he needs to tell Cece the truth to avoid hurting her further.

Why does Winston try to secure a reservation at Pika?

Winston tries to secure a reservation at Pika to buy his way into a double date with Jess, Nick, Schmidt, and Cece.

Why does Schmidt blame Jess and Nick for his relationship issues?

Schmidt blames Jess and Nick because he feels they interfered and made his situation worse by forcing him to come clean.

Why does Cece punch Schmidt in the episode?

Cece punches Schmidt because she finds out he's been dating both her and Elizabeth, which is a betrayal of her trust.

Why does Schmidt's confession scene with Cece feel so real?

Schmidt's confession scene with Cece feels real because it was partially improvised, allowing for genuine emotion and reactions.

Why does Elizabeth throw a pie at Schmidt?

Elizabeth throws a pie at Schmidt as a symbolic act of ending their relationship due to his betrayal and infidelity.

Why do Jess and Nick reveal their darkest secrets to each other?

Jess and Nick reveal their darkest secrets to each other to strengthen their bond and protect their relationship from Schmidt's threats.

Chapters

Hannah and Lamorne discuss their favorite movies, and Lamorne shares his experience working on the new Spider-Man movie. Lamorne also reflects on the passing of actor Lee Thompson Young during the filming of this episode.
  • Hannah's favorite movie is Moonstruck.
  • Lamorne is working on the new Spider-Man movie.
  • Lamorne was deeply affected by the passing of Lee Thompson Young during filming.

Shownotes Transcript

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Hey, Bo. Hey, Matt. Are you ready to tell the readers about the extra special episode we have coming up? I think we have to let them in on our little surprise. Yeah, if you haven't already figured it out, the queen of Christmas herself, can't believe this, Mariah Carey, will be joining us this week. Wow. Readers, publicists, KDs, and finalists, tune in to maybe the most unforgettable episode of Lost Cultures this yet.

Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, friends. I'm Jessica Capshaw. And this is Camilla Luddington. And we have a new podcast. Call it what it is.

You may know us from Graceland Memorial, but did you know that we are actually besties in real life? And as all besties do, we navigate the highs and lows of life together. Big or small, we're there. And now here we are opening up the friendship circle to you. Listen to Call It What It Is on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology... Swaps of different meds. ...but by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane...

Welcome to Gracias Come Again, a podcast by Honey German, where we get real and dive straight into todo lo actual y viral. We're talking musica, los premios, el chisme, and all things trending in my cultura.

I'm bringing you all the latest happening in our entertainment world and some fun and impactful interviews with your favorite Latin artists, comedians, actors, and influencers. Each week, we get deep and raw life stories, combos on the issues that matter to us, and it's all packed with gems, fun, straight-up comedia, and that's a song that only nuestra gente can sprinkle. Listen to Gracias Come Again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. ♪

We were chatting for a second about, before we hit record, about...

Nick Cage. And I realize, do you know my favorite movie of all time? All time. Favorite movie of all time. All time. Face Off. Nope. Don't tell me. Favorite movie of all time. Ghost Rider. No. Long Legs. No. Con Air. No. It's a movie that won Oscars. With Cher in it? Yes.

I know the name of the movie. He won an Oscar. Didn't he win an Oscar for that movie too? No. He got nominated for an Oscar for that movie. Moonstruck. Yes. My favorite movie of all time. All time. All time. I can quote it. I watch it every single Christmas. My favorite like holiday movie. And I just realized that you're going to do something with the star of Moonstruck. And that is how he is known in my household. I'm already doing stuff with him. You know what I mean? We're already working. Did it start? Yeah, it started.

It started already. How, how, how can you share how it is? No. Can you text me how it is? Yes. No, I know. Marvel and Sony will kill me. We'll go, we'll go to your house and we'll go into the covers and you can just do like

And then just do like signs like this and then this. I'll take it to the grave. You know, I'll take it to the grave. You know, I'll forget anyway. I'm the safest person to tell anything. They call me the vault for a reason. That's literally not what they call you. Truly people failing in my life. They call you old blabbermouth Hannah. It's the one thing. I am not a snitch. I am not. You tell me something. It's gone. It's locked tight.

I'm good for that. Just so you know. Not me. That's why I tell everybody about you and Kanye. That's what I tell you. We should be telling everybody about these shirts we're wearing, by the way. Just hot off the press. Elaine and Chivvy.

Little lane here. New Mess Around merch has dropped. You go to themessaroundpod.com. You can snatch it up. We always do limited drops, so get it while you can. Absolutely. Folks, we got an exciting show for you today. This is a big episode. A big one. Pretty, pretty big one. This episode is episode 303, Double Date. Double Date, directed by Max Winkler, written by Love Rockei.

Fun fact, and love hates when I tell this story because I've told it a million times. I don't know why I keep telling it. You love the story. He once took a shit in front of my house.

You brought him on the podcast. He's like one of the most prolific writers on our show. And half of that episode where we had LaVon was you talking about that moment. You got to take greatness and knock it down a peg because you don't want him to get too big for his britches. You know what I mean? People know him as a great writer. I know him as a shit taker. All right. Tell us what happens in this episode. Let's go.

Okay, so in this episode, Jess and Nick propose that they go on a double date with Schmidt and Cece. They agree to let Winston fifth wheel after he lets them know he can get a reservation at the exclusive restaurant Pika, which is on Pico, by the way, Pico Boulevard. But after confessing to Nick that he is still dating both Cece and Elizabeth, Jess warns Schmidt that if he doesn't come clean and tell Cece, she will. Why?

While Winston struggles to hold down the community table, Nick, Jess, Schmidt, and Cece all race Topeka for a can't-miss dinner. Let us begin. Let us begin. Dive right in. I will say this is one of the...

most memorable episodes that I ever did. And it's for what happens in that restaurant, but we will get there. So let's start. Schmidt is making mistakes. Schmidt is making a ton of mistakes. We opened up the episode with him on the phone talking to Elizabeth. We saw Elizabeth, right? On the phone. And then now have you, now this is a weird one because it's like, if you're cheating and

I'm not saying this as a person who's cheated. I never cheated. Never, never cheated. Most loyal person. But like, why are you on the phone? Why? You can't like text or wait till you're getting the car to have these conversations. Like you're like playing with fire. I had a friend who.

It was really interesting when like Schmidt does this big confession near the end where he explains like why he kept both women. And he was saying he, he, no woman has ever really been interested in him. Right. He said he struggled with his weight. And for that reason, he believes that no women were interested in him. And now all of a sudden he's got like these two dimes that are all of a sudden like want him. And he,

He, he, he just, he, he can't say no like this. He's never experienced two women at the same time wanting him and he couldn't say no. And I had a friend who did the same thing and he was also doing wild things like nuts. Not that they're smart cheating, but he wasn't like he would do that. Yeah. Like five seconds going to the bathroom to calling somebody, then coming out and talking to the girl. And it was sort of like they, they were acting like 12 year olds.

Yeah. Right. They couldn't understand it. They had like candy in each room and just running back and forth and just couldn't help themselves. So I feel like this kind of supports his story that he's just like, look, I'm bad at this. I'm bad at this and I'm making terrible decisions. And it's even in the fact that like Cece's in the bedroom. I got to call Elizabeth.

It's just messy. That's so stupid to me. So stupid. It's so stupid. But the whole thing is stupid. He doesn't like he shouldn't be in the situation to begin with. So none of the choices are going to make sense. Anyway, so Cece comes out.

She says she's tired. I remember shooting this scene because I was always in like these little dresses and they're like, here's like a nice oversized shirt and you can come out barefoot and you can wear like boxers. I was like, this is a dream day. What an outfit. I was so happy. Just barefoot and bottomless. That's right. That's my dream outfit. So, um,

No, but just then it leads into the funniest thing ever, which was you with the whole Ferguson situation. You know, that part of that, and I was looking for the episode for some reason. I don't, I don't have that draft now. I don't know. I found it.

Yeah, I was like in my email scouring. I had the schedule. I had the parking instructions for Pico. Out of all these things, I did not have the actual script. And for the life of me, I couldn't find it. And the reason why I was looking for the script is because I'm quite sure I improvised a lot of that little chat. And I was trying to figure out which words were scripted and which words weren't. And I think I remember when I said, you know,

I chose to be alone or something like that. And nobody know you like you, you know, that was the choice I made as a man, you know, that, that all there, I want to say is improvised because that's just kind of how I speak a little bit. You know what I mean? I, I have those isms from time to time and I'm, and I'm happy they put it in there because it's something that,

you know, people, people post often people. Well, get a table at a chair store was not in the script. It wasn't in a script. So either it was in a massive alt pack or that's just you.

Possibly. Just saying or thinking. That's the thing. I can never, you know, they never sent us the alt packs. Those were just like there, the alt jokes. But yeah, get a table at a chair store. It made me laugh out loud. That was a good one. Wherever it came from, that was a good one. And when you go, I think Liz pitched me or Love, maybe it was Love who pitched me at the end when I say, go ahead, man, I'll make you some coffee. Yeah.

So Winston invites himself on the double date, basically buying his way in by saying he can get them a table at the most exclusive restaurant in town, Pika. Pika. And says, yeah, if you can do it, you're in. Yeah. Now this place... Okay, so this moment in the episode, I remember...

an actor by the name of Lee Thompson Young, who we used to live in the same apartment complex. He was the famous Jackson, you know, a bunch of movies, you know, Nickelodeon, a bunch of stuff, you know, passed away that day. And, and I, and I knew him a little, we would, you know, we would see each other in the hallway. We'd be at events together. We'd done some table reads together, like work related, you know, friendship, but was a cool dude was always so kind to me. And then,

Yeah. You know, passed away that day and I, and I was on set and I, and I just remember not being able to like fully, you know, fully like be in it and trying to be funny and trying to like, they like gave me a break. Um, you know, I remember Alice, um, Waterland, she, um, she played the woman who works, uh,

who works the front of the restaurant, the, the, the hostess. And she was just so kind to me. She was just like talking to me, chilling, hanging out. I didn't know her at all, but you know, I was just in such a weird space that it was hard for me to even do this, this episode, to be quite honest with you. A lot of funny stuff came from it, but it was like,

Yeah, I was like, I was, my head was in another place. You were also alone that week, basically, because you were kind of shooting at that restaurant by yourself. So it wasn't like you had us either. Yeah. For most of it, which is also, you know, and then you're on location. So you're not even like on the lot. Yeah. That is quite disorienting when you're actually going through that real life stuff. Yeah. And then you have to show up and tell jokes. I know. When you're trying to cope and process by yourself. Yeah.

Yeah, that was that one was rough. That one was rough. But let's just let's dive back into it. So I walk in, Cece walks into the room where Nick and Jess are in bed. What's what post-coital? And I just I hear so here it's I did have the script. So I read the script. And the truth of this scene is that they really gave Jake not much to do.

Not much to do at all. He was just supposed to sit there and be awkward, like look awkward. And it was really a Jess and Cece scene. But I truly, I was like, but he does the most in this scene, right? Like when I sit on the bed, he's like, wait, you're saying? Like he starts saying all sorts of funny things, injecting all sorts of funny things about like his penis is showing. None of this is scripted. None of this is in the script. And I was like, why is he? Because it's so funny. He's so great. And I was like, I wondered if it's,

the twofold things one we talked about how season three everybody just hit like a full stride in comfort level of improv but also it's his best friend max winkler is directing and i'm sure he could just like let jake go and jake felt comfy to be like i can do what i want it's max here and it was gold that scene is one of the funniest scenes to me because of jake

Yeah. We're having a real conversation, her and I, but like Jake is doing, cause he's naked in the bed and then they have to do that weird, like bedroom treat, kitchen treat thing. Also improvised this like, Ooh, the little itchy bra of the day. And I remember sitting there genuinely feeling uncomfortable. It was like, but it was so funny and it made the show.

Well, in that moment, you were Winston. So you were third wheeling it and Winston's trying to fifth wheel it, which is the same thing. That's right. We're just on the outside of it. Only difference is you were doing it at the most inappropriate time. That's right.

Okay, so Winston then walks into Pika and immediately just sees a glass decorative ball. I don't know why that made me laugh too. Like trying to be cool. You know what I mean? Like trying to be cool so you own a spot so you just do something with that information. The thing, the trick is when you're trying to get to a location you're not supposed to be, you got to walk with confidence. And he walked in extremely confident and was like, I'm going to eat this mint.

And till this day, whenever I see a glass bowl of like those things, I always think of that moment where I just was like, no, that's glass. That's glass. It's kind of like what you just talked about when we did our little Emmy recap, right? It's like Emmy first.

Right. All of a sudden you're trying to get into a place. Just walk in with the Emmy first. It worked for you. Here's Winston walking in. He's just like, I'm going to pop a mint like on the joint. Yes. Emmy. This is what Winston needed at PICA. I know he needed to do an art life like crossover time travel. Oh, wait. The IOU moment also is so funny. Oh, my gosh. It's it's one of my favorite bits. It's like I see it in movies from time to time. And even even later on in Game Night, Billy Magnuson kind of does the moment.

He's like sliding her this dollar. She's like, one dollar? Really? He's like, hold on. Sorry. Is there another dollar? And this one is so funny. I don't know. I mean, laughing at my own stuff, but it's funny because it's like the writers wrote that like, oh, that's not supposed to be.

That's supposed to be $10. That's supposed to be $100. That scene actually went on in the script, right? Where you're like, can I change it? And then you change it. And then you slide it slowly back to her. And then she's like...

No. The answer is no. There was so much to get in this episode. There was a bunch of little endings of things that were cut, but that scene went on. But it was so funny. I don't know. Meanwhile, Schmidt's being really weird, right? Yeah. And Nick approaches him and asks him if he is on drugs. Now, Schmidt pulls Nick into his room and then he asked if he's cracked his email password. How did you guess smithereens? Yeah.

It's just so funny. But then Schmidt's like, you know, I did something really, really bad. And he tells him, he lets him know. First of all, before he tells him.

He's like, you could tell me anything. We're best friends. And he goes, I was there for you when you fell off the deck at Chester's graduation. But in a flashback, it's clearly showing Nick is like high-fiving him so hard that he knocks him off. He knocks him off. Yeah, he knocks him off the deck. But then Schmidt comes back to let Nick know, hey, man, I'm dating Elizabeth and CeCe.

This is also one of those really funny, funny back and forths whenever Max and Jake are on camera together where he's not. Nick is so confused about what he's trying to tell him. He can't fathom a world in which you can have

multiple women. He's just like, you gotta choose. And this was like half a page on the script. So they obviously, Max told him, Max Winkler, their director, told them to just like open it up and just to keep going with the confusion and the questioning and the justifications. And all of it made it in because it's,

so funny. And I feel like it's one of the most iconic scenes between these two guys that people love. You get one wife. This is the way the world works. And then when he goes, why? And screams. And then the turn that Jake does where he's like, I don't know. It's so great. Oh yeah. And then meanwhile, Winston's still trying to get that reservation by pretending to be Arthur.

Toni Morrison. It's like, well, what? Well, I think you're a woman. Because he can't. He doesn't know who Toni Morrison is. He didn't know Toni Morrison is a woman. You just actually did kind of a good Toni Morrison, though. That's no lie. Toni Morrison. Yeah, I mean, I'm really good with impressions, especially Toni Morrison. We're going to take a quick break. And when we come back, Hannah's going to give you her best Toni Morrison impression.

Hey, Bo. Hey, Matt. Are you ready to tell the readers about the extra special episode we have coming up? Sweet. Yes. I see. So, but you can do that kind of spooky scary. Well, yeah, but it's also because it's a ride. Yeah, I know. But you're in it, you know? Yeah, exactly. You're in the spook. I think we have to let them in on our little surprise. Yeah, if you haven't already figured it out, can't believe this, Mariah Carey will be joining us this week.

I say, oh, I want to go work with such and such from across town. Yeah, from across town. My girl across town. Yeah, across town. I know a guy across town. I know a guy. Readers, publicists, KDs, and finalists, tune in to maybe the most unforgettable episode of Lost Cultures this year. There's one more question, which I promised myself I would ask.

Can you drop that grunge album? I'm so mad that I haven't done that yet. But you don't have to be mad because you're in control. I am, but who do I drop it with? Should we start a label? Maybe. Wow. Listen to Las Culturistas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I felt too seen. Um,

Um, dragged. I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. So I basically had what back in the day they would call a nervous breakdown. I was crying and I was inconsolable. It was just very big, sudden swaps of different meds. What is wrong with me? Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl.

Finally, a show for the mentally ill girlies. On Basket Case, I talk to people about what happens when what we call mental health is shaped by the conditions of the world we live in. Because if you haven't noticed, we are experiencing some kind of conditions that are pretty hard to live with. But if you struggle to cope, the society that created the conditions in the first place will tell you there's something wrong with you. And it will call you a basket case.

Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th, 2017, was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel Delia.

In 1982, Atari players had one thing on their minds: Sword Quest.

This wasn't just a new game. Atari promised $150,000 in prizes to four finalists. But the prizes disappeared. And what started as a video game promotion became one of the most controversial moments in '80s pop culture. I just don't believe they exist. My reaction, shock and awe. That sword was amazing. It was so beautiful.

And we are back.

Now, is this the week that we're not even mentioning You Know What? When I'm mentioning You Know What, because I have a plan for this season. Okay? I'm not getting in the debate about the bear every single week with you. I didn't say anything about the bear. I love the show. Great show. Great show. Love bears. Love bears. Love big bears. Small bears. Brown bears. Black bears. Love them. Okay, so we're not getting into it, right? We're not getting into the bear situation. If you guys are just kind of like...

plugging into this third season. The plan is I need all of your help out there to DM me all where the bears are. Okay. And then I'm going to do a special bear episode at the end of the season. That's called screw you. Lamorne bears, bears, bears. That's what it's going to be called. And I'm going to show you the, that's the name of the memoir from every woman has ever dated me. That's screw you Lamorne. Bears, bears, bears. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Okay, so here we go. Diving right back in. In the mirror, Nick is trying to convince himself to lie to Jess about his talk with Schmidt. Again, love it when he's by himself doing nonsense. You know, just walks into his room and asks him how his day's been. And this man is wearing a motorcycle helmet. And then she asks one of the funniest questions. I forgot about this line. We finally gonna do no kiss sex?

And then she opens the visor, sees his eyes, and she's like, no, something is going on. He's got too many tells. He's got sweat back. You know, she can look in his eyes and tell he's lying. He's a terrible liar. Some people are, though, for real. Yeah. They just can't. They act like a totally weird person. Oh, yeah. I avoid. Like, if you don't hear from me, it's because I got a lie to tell.

I'm great. I'm a great liar. No problems. I know. Shout out to Kanye. Okay, we're back at Pika and Winston decides he's going to go to the community table route. He's not getting a table. That's not happening. So he's got a plan.

And then does some of the most disgusting things. The fish, the thing that you put in your mouth, was that a rubber thing? No, that was real fish. No, sir. That was real fish. That was a real fish. With the bones? No, the bones weren't in it. They deboned it. So I just remember in that in that moment.

Having them pitch that idea to me and then thinking, okay, well, can I at least get something warm and not like something that maybe you just heat it up and at least go put it in the microwave or something because cold fish is just disgusting to me.

I just had him heat it up a little bit. I don't know if they microwaved it or, you know, took a blowtorch to it. I have no idea. But when they brought it back, it was a little warm. So I was like, OK, this is better than sticking cold fish in my mouth. Yeah. And then even that moment, I think I might not be in this particular moment, but it's later on when we when we see him still at that table. And, you know, you could tell he's been there for a while. Yeah.

And somebody tries to sit down and I go into this African language that I just made up. Oh my gosh. That caught me off guard too. I was crying. I was like, what is this man doing? Please tell me no one pitched you that and you just decided to do it. I just decided to do that. That was, that's just me. It's like a, it's just silliness. It's just like, what can I do to get these people away from me? Oh, I can act like a,

You know, an African warlord that's really mad at somebody. But the thing is, I made that up. I am curious, though, because sometimes when you just make stuff up, something I said could possibly be a word in one of the many, many, many African countries. That's true. You know what I mean? I don't know. So for all of my Africans and African folks out there, listen.

Let me know if I said anything or let me know if it was just plain stupidity.

Imagine if you actually said something, but it was actually something beautiful. Like, I would like to give you flowers. Hey, beautiful flower man. Why did he leave? He was welcoming. Please sit. I misspoke earlier. So she did not lift the visor and see that he was lying. They then, bam, chicka, wow, wow. And then she finds out afterwards with the motorcycle helmet on after sex that

that she finds out the secret and she comes out hellfire, which by the way, that is such a me thing that I would do in my real life. If I found out, yes, have sex in a motorcycle helmet. No, I would, if I found out that my best friend is being cheated on and that person who was doing it was in the vicinity, RIP to that person. Bye-bye.

I'll call the cops myself on myself. I'll be like, okay, this is about to happen. You better show up. There's, I would be furious. And I love, it's one of the things that Liz Merriweather did so well is she kept the female friendship between Jess and Cece so honest. There was not even a question in Jess's mind just because she's, you know, love Schmidt and their roommates and their friends. When it comes to like these girls sticking together and having each other's backs, it never falters.

They never fight over a man. They never choose a man over each other. It's a really beautiful part that lasts the entire series. And this is like her in spades. She comes out, she totally trashes him, insults him in the way only Jess can, crumbum, right? And then she puts down the ultimatum, which is like, you better tell her quick. Otherwise I'm going to, and they know Cece's about to show up. She's about to walk through the door.

Here's what I... So it's on. Here's the anger. Well, actually, I might be jumping the gun a little bit, but when we get to it, remind me to...

We'll just go to it. We'll just keep going. Because I do have a thought on the behavior of CeCe and Jess in this moment. The behavior of you two is despicable and it is disgusting. You mean Schmidt? No, not on Schmidt. I think you're misspeaking, sir. No, that man was trying to spare feelings.

And you guys, let's keep going. Oh my Lord. I'm about to drive to your house right now. Here's the other thing. In the script, it never shows, it never says that Nick dances.

He's supposed to just be standing there. I think like, like again, he's not part of this scene, right? He just comes out with her. And this is between Jess and Schmidt. And again, I think it was the Winkler effect. I think he was just like, you, you do something because you're uncomfortable. And they know that Jake hates to dance so deeply. So there's going to be nothing more awkward. It's the funniest. Yeah.

It's one of the most like memeable things that have like come out of the show is that insane dance with the motorcycle helmet. But it was not in the script. So either they came up with it on set or they chatted about what could he be doing instead of just standing there. Maybe it's, you know, it's like a little kid, right? Like the parents are fighting and he's just like, look at me over here. Please don't fight.

It's okay. Maybe it's that. I don't know. But it was, it's so funny and it's the perfect way to balance. What is a really high stakes dramatic scene? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, 100%. Yeah. You balance it out by telling Jake Johnson, stick a helmet on and dance. Dance. Dance for me. Dance for me. Now, now when Cece walks in the room, she can totally tell the vibe is off. Mm.

And Schmidt's like, we got to get the hell out of here. We're taking two cars, throws the phone and is beelining it. I mean, he gets in a car and just is gunning it, blowing stop signs, which we don't endorse here on this show. Drive responsibly. Don't be like Schmidt.

Don't be like Schmidt. And then he's just going to like disappear her. He's like, we're just like going somewhere. No one can find us. We're gone. And then he makes, this is the thing of like the panic choice. He makes the fatal mistake, which is he then says that he,

Nick is cheating on Jess. Yes. And so now this is where these best friends mirror each other. She's like, what? I need to be in front of that man right now. And I'm going to tell Jess right now. And he realizes, holy smokes, he was out. Now he's back in. So what happens, though? Because meanwhile, Winston's still there holding the table down. He's got an excuse for why he's now. Yeah.

you know secured every single seat at the table bathroom yeah um and so when they when you come walking in like there she is there she goes jess walks up and they you guys are both about to tell each other the exact same thing about two different people and the moment nick walks in what does cc do

What does she do? She does the most obvious, understandable thing. If anything, she holds back. She was kind to that man. She was kind. How? By punching him in his ding-a-ling twice? She could have killed him. She could have killed him. And she decided to just give him a little pop, let him know. You don't need that thing anymore. You're just dragging it around town. Pop, pop. Let me ask you a question. If someone cheats on you, that means they deserve to die?

- Did you hear my best friend? There's no rational part. It's not rational, it's primal at that point. - These are your emotions. So someone deserves to lose their life because you two disagreed on a thing.

So your life is worthless because you hurt my feelings. So you got to die. No, you hurt my friend's feelings. Usually if you hurt my feelings, I'll be like, that's it. If you hurt my feelings, I'd probably be like, oh God, that's, that makes me feel sad. You hurt my friend. That's it. It's over. Bye bye. See you later. Have a nice life. So never. So when a woman cheats on the man, never in the history, I don't ever, not me and my friends, at least we don't, we don't plot out.

this woman in her vagina. We don't, I'm going to punch a breast. We don't, we just go, hey man, yay brother, man. Sometimes it happens. That's life. It's time to move on. God bless. God bless her, man. And you know, she just, she wanted what she wanted and she made a decision. Man, I love her anyway. I respect her decision. This is very evolved actually. Humbly, humbly. Let's just keep it moving. But you are like, I must punch this man in his testicles so he can never breathe again.

So this was the story of that too, right? Is there like, so, you know, you come in and, and they tell Jake and Hannah's going to punch you twice. And obviously not real. We're going to fake it. Like he's going to move his body. There'll be no contact. It's fine. And then I remember they were like, Hey, uh, do you want a cup? Or like, or you're fine. And I just remember him looking at me and he was like, you know what? I'm going to take a cup. I'm going to have a cup. Yeah.

And I realized, oh, we have no trust. We have no trust here. She misses because it's so funny because he says also, I feel like this actually was scripted, I think. But he says like, you know, like she nipped the corner. And I remember in the moment, like I was like, oh, God, did I? I'm so sorry. It was really funny.

That moment. It was very fun to do. It was very cathartic because it was a really weird shoot. That was the only thing that we did there. And then we're going to, we'll come back to what happens in the car between Schmidt and Max. But when Max does come in to the bar, what we, what was scripted and what we did was actually much more of like a joke.

where he was kind of like, I hurt you. You know, you hurt me. Take the fork. Stab me. It's fine. Like it was more like heightened and very Schmidt joke style. And then that's how we shot that day. What you actually see when Schmidt and Cece start to really talk when they really talk was a reshoot.

Oh, yeah. It was a reshoot that we did back at the bar. So they'd cut the episode together. And I think they realized like this is a huge moment in the series. Right. And he has to get it.

like if we're going to get these people back together, this can't just be easily like forgivable. There has to be some real truth told and he has to really talk through it. And this can't be about the comedy of this. This has to be real. And that's where new girl again, just like shined. It was like in those relationships. And I will never forget. I feel like Jake Kazdin was there, came down for it. I think Winkler was there. I feel like Kazdin was there. And yeah,

They had kind of written out Max's little speech. He does. Again, we shot it in the bar. They dressed it to be like Pika. And they said, Hannah, you can just say whatever you want. Just respond to him however you want, however you feel, however it hits you. And so that whole scene where I'm there and I'm crying and all the things that I say was just fully improvised. I was going to comment on

I didn't know that you had these type of chops, Hannah, because you let out one single Denzel Washington from Glory tear. It just came pouring right down the left eye. It was like this. And I said, how'd she do that? How'd she do that? That's CGI. That must be CGI. That's AI right there. How'd she do that? Hannah, how you do the one single tear? If I'm crying, it's coming out.

If I'm crying, it looks like Viola Davis. I got snot bubbles coming out of my nose. It's just like, you were just like one tear. How? I don't know. It was a moment. I'll remember that moment in there because...

Max is a really wonderful actor and he has no problem. Like he never breaks eye contact with you. And when he was saying the things he was saying, which were problematic, like what Schmidt says, it's kind of problematic because he's talking about himself, right? Like I've never had these opportunities before two girls at the same time. And I was a fat kid and he's saying all these things, which you're the one that's hurt, right? So you're sitting there like her character is the one going through this and you're, it's like enraging. Yeah.

No, it's not. There's no justification. There is. There's no. No. See, this is a two way street here because he's hurt because now he had two women. Now he ain't got no house. Yes, he is hurt. He's hurt from his own choices. She's hurt from his choices. Could you imagine having two and now you got none? Yeah.

Hannah, somebody give you $2 million today. You got $2 million. And then tomorrow you got no million dollars. Yeah, but if I put them in a trash can and set them on fire, it's a little hard to feel sorry for me. You know what I'm saying? And if I took the $2 million from you, you'd be pissed. Anyway, I remember that moment of trying to channel...

Being angry and sad at the same time, which is why I don't think it was like fully bawling, right? Because you're just mad and you don't even want to give somebody...

You know, you don't even want to sit there and like let them know how deeply they hurt you, but you can't keep it all in. And yeah, I was really grateful that they kind of just let us get there. And they did. Yeah, they didn't script me. They just said, like, say what you want to say and that like, I don't know.

I don't know you anymore. Like that was all like improvised. It was such a, it was like a big scene. I loved it. It was a great scene, a very emotional scene, but I love that this is a new girl. And right at the end, Schmidt asks if anyone has $12 for valet. And then while that is such a serious tone in such a serious way. I know.

It's also very real. It's LA. You wouldn't be able to get your car back. They'd be like, sorry, I don't know what to do. Walk. We own your car now forever. I'd be like, bro, I had two girls. Now I got none. Like, come on, man. Help me out. Now, meanwhile, back at the loft in the bathroom, Jess tells Nick that Cece still hasn't called her. She asked if Nick can call her phone to test it.

He tells her he doesn't have any more minutes left from the 10,000 he bought back in 1999. The funniest break she has to do in this whole episode where she's having this real sincere emotional moment and she just gets so bumped by how crazy that notion is. Yeah. Also feels like a very Jake thing. Oh, yeah. To have minutes.

Shout out to the old Nextel phones and the Razer phones, the Motorola's with minutes on them. That was my favorite thing to do back in the day was go to the mall and get one of those cards that had minutes on it. I felt like the man after that. Now, back at the front door, we see...

Elizabeth throwing a pie. A peach pie. A peach pie. Peachy pie. Oh my gosh. And rightfully so. And that was the conclusion of the love triangle, right? I loved it so much where she's like, you broke my heart, mail me my mouth guard. Yes. It's so funny because it is hard in breakups and you're like, I still got stuff at your place. Yeah. And I need it. I just want to be done, but I also need my stuff. She could have literally just walked in the room and got it though. Like,

She was done. She's covered in pie. She got to go. That's Elizabeth. She's got places to be. But you know why women do that, right? Bring me my stuff later. She's leaving the door open. No, no door open. This door was closed. No. You're telling yourself that. That's not true. Mail it in a box. No return to sender. Leave that door wide open. Get that. Oh, that's right. He says there was a call, right? Is that right? He said apparently...

Oh, that's right. Cece told Elizabeth. Cece told Elizabeth. Here's where I think, honestly, like...

I know you don't watch Love Island. No. But I watched Love Island USA this past season and it was so good. And the way the women held each other down was so good. It was so great. And I feel like it was that same energy between Cece and Elizabeth. I think it was just a straight up call where she's just like, I got this information. I'm giving you this information. You can, by the way, I respect any choice you would like to make. Let's reenact it really quick.

Ring, ring, ring. Hello, this is Elizabeth. Hey, Elizabeth. This is Cece. You raggedy bitch. What you doing calling my motherfucking phone? Shame on you. This is like I expected you to respond like that. I just want to share something that maybe will make you feel a little differently. Schmidt

was fully dating me while he was fully dating you. And I just found out and I broke up with him and I think he's disgusting and it's over. You can do whatever you want with that information. The only way to prove it is for you to go to Schmidt and ask him if it's true. You should get that right from him.

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go and I'm going to sleep with him one or two more times. And then while we look at your photo on the nightstand and then see and then see what he really feels. And then after that, if he doesn't feel anything for either one of us, then I'm going to throw a pie in his face. I love that choice for you. Yeah. Yeah. I got you. Yeah. Yeah. That's my man. I love him. I can see that. I can see that. Yeah.

I can see that. I'm really happy for you too. Peace and love. That's probably how the call went. I feel like of all the improv scene partners I could have had on that reenactment, maybe despite the Emmy, you might not have been my number one choice.

I feel like Merritt Weaver needs to come on the show and we can do that call. And we can do that call. I don't think Raggedy Ass Bitch is going to be in that reenactment. Oh, well, I think that's something she would say. For sure. But right after that, go ahead. Great moment. No, great moment. Say it, say it. I love this. This is my favorite part of the episode. Schmidt becomes as sinister as sinister is while covered in peach cobbler. Hmm.

He lets Nick and Jess know that he will stop at nothing to ruin their relationship. He blames them. He blames them. He's like, this is your fault. I was going to fix it. I was going to handle it. But you interjected. And so now I'm going to ruin the both of you right on Schmidt because it was none of their business right on. And then they do the funniest turn where they go, you know what?

We're not going to let this happen. So we have to spill all of our darkest secrets. Let's go. And then they do a back and forth of the ages. The fear of pears. I can't. She's a part of the Green Party. She's banned from Lake Ontario. And she's the fear of pear-shaped people. Iconic Nick line where he's convinced he doesn't know how to read. He just memorized a bunch of words. Amazing. Yeah.

So funny. The doctor said that she might grow another 18 inches. That's another foot and a half on a woman. He's like, I'm getting past it. I'm working through it. I'm done. And they disagree on the moon landing, which I'm with Nick on that. That's fake. Moon landing is fake.

For real? Moon landing is fake. For real, for real, for real. Are you just trying to make me crazy? I'm not buying it. I'm not buying it. You went to the moon, dog. Man, you know how hard it is to get to Ohio. I had to go for a dinner in Santa Monica. That's hard. Bro, it was so hard. That's hard, bro. I was in Santa Monica. Santa was like on a Friday. It was a moon magnet.

I did it for someone I love, though. So I was like, all right, because I love you so much. I will travel to Santa Monica on a Friday at seven o'clock. They couldn't cure racism, but they got to the moon. I don't buy it. I don't buy it. Well, I do buy that. That's motivated here on Earth. Oh, my gosh. OK, let's go to a break. And when we come back, we're going to mess around a little bit. You know, don't tell your husband. Hey, Bo. Hey, Matt. Are you ready to tell the readers about the extra special episode we have coming up? Sweet.

Yes. I see. So, but you can do that kind of spooky scary. Well, yeah, but it's also because it's a ride. Yeah, I know. But you're in it, you know? Yeah, exactly. You're in the spook. I think we have to let them in on our little surprise. Yeah, if you haven't already figured it out, can't believe this, Mariah Carey will be joining us this week.

I say, oh, I want to go work with such and such from across town. Yeah, from across town. My girl across town. Yeah, across town. I know a guy across town. I know a guy. Readers, publicists, Katie's, and finalists, tune in to maybe the most unforgettable episode of Lost Cultures this year. There's one more question, which I promised myself I would ask.

Can you drop that grunge album? I'm so mad that I haven't done that yet. But you don't have to be mad because you're in control. I am, but who do I drop it with? Should we start a label? Maybe. Wow. Listen to Las Codristas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I felt too seen. Um,

Um, dragged. I'm NK and this is Basket Case. So I basically had what back in the day they would call a nervous breakdown. I was crying and I was inconsolable. It was just very big sudden swaps of different meds. What is wrong with me? Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl.

Finally, a show for the mentally ill girlies. On Basket Case, I talk to people about what happens when what we call mental health is shaped by the conditions of the world we live in. Because if you haven't noticed, we are experiencing some kind of f***ed up conditions that are pretty hard to live with. But if you struggle to cope, the society that created the conditions in the first place will tell you there's something wrong with you. And it will call you a basket case.

In 1982, Atari players had one thing on their minds. Sword Quest. This wasn't just a new game. Atari promised $150,000 in prizes to four finalists. But the prizes disappeared.

And what started as a video game promotion became one of the most controversial moments in 80s pop culture. I just don't believe they exist. My reaction, shock and awe. That sword was amazing. It was so beautiful.

I'm Jamie Loftus. Join me this spring for The Legend of Sword Quest, a podcast about the fall of Atari and the disappearing Sword Quest prizes. We'll follow the quest for lost treasure across four decades. It's almost like a metaphor for the industry and Atari itself in a way. Listen to The Legend of Sword Quest on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who, on October 16, 2017, was murdered. There are crooks everywhere you look now. The situation is desperate. My name is Manuel Delia. I am one of the hosts of Crooks Everywhere, a podcast that unhurts the plot to murder a one-woman Wikileaks. Daphne exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state.

And she paid the ultimate price. Listen to Crooks everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we are back. Mm-hmm. Babe. Yeah, babe. Dating two people. Advice? Was there any way for Schmidt to get out of this clean? I mean, you've done it. You know, you've...

No, there's no way to get out of it clean. It's messy, messy, messy, no matter what. Because here's the thing, even if you manage to choose one and break up with the other and nobody found out somehow clean, you know, quote clean, you would carry it on your conscience. They would.

I wouldn't. No, I'm just saying because you ultimately the crisis is within you. So if you if you got rid of the crisis, if you decided in the middle of this journey, like, you know what? I'm I'm messing up. I'm screwing up. I messed up. I got to fix this. You don't fix it by just like admitting to both parties that you are sleeping with. No, you just break up with one of them.

And then, you know, and then keep the other one, you know, she doesn't have, that's the past. That's the past. When we go to the past. You can't make choices for other people. You know, some people are fine to be like, you know what? Date other people. I'll date other people. And then we're going to just, we'll figure out if we're right for each other. Like, why not be transparent? It's one thing. I guess it's like, it's so nuanced, right? Because if you're in a relationship, like let's say for a few months and then you meet somebody else and you start dating them, that's cheating. Yeah.

Yeah. That's cheating. But dating two people being transparent is, you know, dating. Well, Cece, she was lucky in this because when this whole little love triangle started, remember, she was trying to marry Chivronk.

So she was literally at a wedding, her own wedding. And all of a sudden she expects this man to just drop everything that he had going on. And all of a sudden just be like, I'm going to drop this other one because now you're single. You he's the rebound. And we know what happens in rebound scenarios. It doesn't work out because the moment you found out he was cheating. Guess what? You had another man coming out of your apartment.

You know what's really funny is everybody says that this storyline for Max was super problematic and it almost like derailed Schmidt and it could have really hurt the series, right? And somehow it all bounced back and it was fine. It was like no big deal. But I was always like, man, there probably are some crazy people out there that are like Team Schmidt. And we just found one. Yeah.

Look at you. Look at you just holding it down for Schmitz. Clearly wrong. Clearly in the wrong. No, I'm not on board with him cheating. I'm on board with him fixing it the way he wants to fix it. As long as he fixed it, he fixed it. He didn't fix it. He did. He got caught. No, we go to season seven and we realize you guys are married and have children.

Eventually. Eventually. Eventually. Through the grace of CC. All right. Double dates. How do we feel about them? Is there anything worse than having to go on a double date with a couple you don't like? Can I just say something? Here's the worst version of a double date. Okay. The worst to me. The worst version of a double date is you're with your partner. Okay. And then your guy or you, your girl.

Like finds a bro that he's like, this guy's the coolest. He's amazing. We should go to dinner. Okay. So your partner now is going to have like the greatest dinner because they're with their boy and you. But for me now, I'm stuck with you who are super distracted to be hanging out at dinner with your guy friend and some rando guy.

That I have to get to know. And it's so weird to be on a blind date with another woman and you're just like, ah. But isn't that how all relationships get formed? You have to meet people for the first time.

Uh, you look for, I always call it like, like the unicorn couple where like the women get on, the men get on or the whatever, the men all get on, whatever it is, whatever you look like in your relationship. But everybody knows each other and is like, that's my person. I get them. It is the worst when it's just your partner likes the, you know, the other person and then you're stuck with their spouse and you don't get on.

Yeah. No, no. I can hear that. Haven't you been in that situation before? It's so weird. Yeah. I've been in a situation. Yeah. Just like you said, it's when she does it. You know what I mean? I have to suck it up and be like, yeah, I'm going to go meet this random dude and try to be friends with him while you talk about girl stuff, talk about Love Island. That's right.

You know what I mean? And we talk about it a lot. I know you do. And The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and The Golden Bachelor. What? Quality programming. It's not. I mean, it's on air, so people still love it. And I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to yuck people's yums. Season 97. I know. The Golden Bachelor starring people who are 97. That's right. That's where they ended up. They ran out of people. They used all the people. Call it Geriatric Island. Well,

A bunch of walkers and just STDs going around everywhere because old people, they don't wear condoms. It's disgusting. It's great. Disgusting. I love it. I'm so down for it. Okay. It's weird. Double dates can be weird. Double dates can be weird. Now, the double dates that I find weird is if you go on a double date with someone and then you realize that they want more than the double date. They're trying to swap. They're trying to swap.

Oh, a swap or a swing. Yeah. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't do that. Oh, no, thank you. Cause you know, also like if you don't want them right now, why would I want them? Trying to get rid of her, bro. I don't. Yeah. I mean, I know why you want him. Cause I want him too. But why don't you want that? No, thank you. Bye-bye. Yeah. Not for me. Not for me. Not for me either. No, thank you. Fun fact. They swing a lot in Montreal. Moving on. Um,

The punch, the junk punch on Jake Hanna. We talked about this earlier, but did you practice that? No. You know what I mean? How many takes do you remember doing it? No, they asked me. They were like, do you want, the stunt people were there. They're like, do you want us to show you? This is how you fake it out. I was like, I got it. I got it. I think that's why Jake was like, the copies. I don't know if she's got it. Yeah, don't trust Hanna around your junk. She likes to punch.

She likes a couple bottles of Chardonnay. She likes to punch. That's our show, folks. That's our show. What a great episode, man. Double date. Oh, yes. Thank you all for listening. Please, as always, make sure you go ahead and follow us on IG at The Mess Around Pod. Please go ahead and check out our merch. We...

These lovely shirts right here. They have them in all kinds of sizes. And we'll be back next week with episode 304 and a very, very special guest. Ricky!

That was The Mess Around. This has been an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our engineer and editor is Mia Taylor. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. So we're going to catch you next time.

Hey, Bo. Hey, Matt. Are you ready to tell the readers about the extra special episode we have coming up? I think we have to let them in on our little surprise. Yeah, if you haven't already figured it out, the queen of Christmas herself, can't believe this, Mariah Carey, will be joining us this week. Wow. Readers, publicists, katies, and finalists, tune in to maybe the most unforgettable episode of Lost Cultures this yet.

Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology... Swaps of different meds. ...but by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane...

what we can do about it, and why we should care. Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you ever wonder where your favorite foods come from? Like what's the history behind bacon-wrapped hot dogs? Hi, I'm Eva Longoria. Hi, I'm Maite Gomez-Rejon. Our podcast, Hungry for History, is back. And this season, we're taking an even bigger bite out of the most delicious food and its history. Seeing that the most popular cocktail is the margarita, followed by the mojito from Cuba, and the piña colada from Puerto Rico. Listen to Hungry for History on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to Gracias Come Again, a podcast by Honey German, where we get real and dive straight into todo lo actual y viral. We're talking música, los premios, el chisme, and all things trending in my cultura. I'm bringing you all the latest happening in our entertainment world and some fun and impactful interviews with your favorite Latin artists, comedians, actors, and influencers. Each week, we get deep and raw life stories, combos on the issues that matter to us, and it's all packed with gems, fun, straight up comedia, and that's a song that

only Nuestra Gente can sprinkle. Listen to Gracias Come Again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey friends, I'm Jessica Capshaw. And this is Camilla Luddington. And we have a new podcast. Call it what it is.

You may know us from Graceland Memorial, but did you know that we are actually besties in real life? And as all besties do, we navigate the highs and lows of life together. Big or small, we're there. And now here we are opening up the friendship circle to you. Listen to Call It What It Is on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.