206: Halloween
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Welcome back to our show. Welcome to our show. Oh man, fantastic show today. We are recapping episode six of season two. How are you?

Halloween. Yes, and it's another classic. Cece and Winston, a mess around. You know what's so crazy is that it's still the little kid's song in my head when I have to spell Halloween. You know what I mean? What's the kid's song? H-A-L-L-O-W-E-N spells Halloween. What the hell are you talking about?

You never sang that as a little kid at school? No. Oh, it's a song. It's a song. Somebody sound, I'm sure, Dan, Joel, can we play that link when we put this up? Because I'm sure when you hear it, then you'll remember it. A Halloween, H-L-L-O-E-N. One of the Halloween songs that I remember was Werewolf Bar Mitzvah by Tracy Morgan. That's the one.

No, you know this one. They did the mash. They did the monster mash. See? Oh, yeah. I know that one. But I didn't do, you know, fun fact, to this day, if you asked me to spell Halloween, I would freeze for a second because I'm always like, how many L's and how many E's? I know it's two E's because ween. But hallow, sometimes I'd be like, man, is it two L's? H-A-L-L-O-W-E-N spells Halloween.

just put it in your brain I'm going to teach it to your daughter what Canadian mischief have you been up to? Joel, Dan, oh wait you guys have to chime in do you guys know this song? no I've never heard this song Joel could you live for one minute of your life oh my gosh me and Joel were busy singing lift every voice and sing we were singing I have a black anvil anvil oh my god

Me and Joelle, that's what me and Joelle were getting into. All right. This is the Halloween. It's already scary this episode. All right. Let's get a quick recap. Let's go. Okay. Now, folks, on this week's episode, everyone is attempting to update their relation status IRL. Now that's internet speak for in real life.

I'm young and I get it and I'm with it. Now, Nick's college crush, Amelia, played by Maria Thayer, she comes to visit, giving Nick an opportunity to tell her how he feels for the first time. Now, Winston and Shelby, we know this, of course, yet again, they are in a sexual depression and they use Halloween to try to put a spark back into their relationship.

Jess, meanwhile, develops feelings for Dr. Sam after she sees him interact with a pediatric patient. While Schmidt does everything he can to sabotage Cece's new relationship with Robbie, played by Nelson Franklin. All that's happening, guys. I love Nelson. Love Nelson. He's one of the funniest people on planet Earth. That's true. Now, this entire crew, they make their way to the haunted fairgrounds where Jess works a haunted house to make money in between jobs.

Something about these spooky grounds brings everyone's relationship issues to light. Shelby thinks the best way to reignite the passion in her relationship is with a punny costume. Winston thinks cops are sexy. Ha ha ha!

Unfortunately, neither partner sees eye to eye and they decide to break up. Meanwhile, Schmidt escalates his intrusive tactics by dressing similarly to Cece. So strange you see them as a couple, he teases Robbie about his costume. But Robbie shows how he won Cece's heart by putting her needs first and building a bridge with Schmidt. That's so grown up and that's so adult. Fortunately for Robbie, the spark between Cece and Schmidt...

Hasn't faded at all. I mean, them thighs. Hmm. Magic Mike. Hmm. They become an awkward threesome as Schmidt dances his sexy Matthew McConaughey-ness into the night. Now,

On the other side of the fairgrounds, Nick and Jess, they encourage each other to tell their crushes how they feel. When Nick learns Sam is seeing someone else, he braves the haunted house to tell Jess before she embarrasses herself. Brave though he was, Nick's fear got the better of him. And you know what he did? He Mike Tyson punched Jess in the face. He cocked it back and everything. 100%.

He knocked her the fuck out. Now, Dr. Sam, he comes to her aid. But when Jess tells him how she feels, he can't reciprocate the love. He chooses to leave. Inspired, Nick tells Amelia he was more in love with the idea of her than with the person she is. This earns Nick his first deserved slap in the face. Now, back at... Exactly. Now, back at the loft and all the relationship dust has settled, Jess gets one revenge punch to the face.

And that's what happened in episode 206, Halloween, directed by Jesse Peretz, written by David Iserson. Let's dive in. One of my favorite Halloween episodes. Oh, yeah. One of my favorite Halloween episodes purely for the Jake Johnson screams that happen when he faces the clown inside the haunted house. It's one of my favorite moments of the series.

Oh, yeah. That type of scream kills me every single time. Haunted houses scare me. There is, by the way, there's no way in no situation you could get me to go into a haunted house. No, thank you. Can I have a moment to say something? Yeah. Listen, I know everyone loves a good haunted house. But let me tell you why haunted houses are bad and why I hate them so much. Tell me. Are they scary?

sure hannah yeah they can be have i almost shit myself in a haunted house allegedly you know but that's only because i was doing a juice cleanse at the time and the timing was just all off okay they don't also they don't offer bathrooms you know um when demons are and zombies are trying to kill you like where do you go to relieve that pressure on them maybe it's a good way possibly exactly they all stink anyway exactly and i don't

Here's what I don't want to happen. I don't want anyone on, you know, in the haunted house industry to be pissed off at me because it's a big industry. You know, I looked it up. It's over a $300 million industry, the haunted house industry, you know, but let me tell you something. If I'm a psycho killer and I just escaped from an insane asylum from killing a bunch of people, first place I'm going haunted house. That's right. I'm trying to find victims, Hannah. And the reason being is nobody's going to know when I've done a slaying.

No one's going to know. I don't trust it. I don't like it. I don't trust it. Why would you pay to be scared? I don't understand. I don't get it at all. It's just not for me at all. So when I watch this episode, I'm like, I actually remember feeling really relieved because I remember they're like, oh, we're going to do a Halloween episode. And they had to because it was like a really amazing haunted house that they built. They were like, you know, but they didn't say which episode.

was going to have to be part of the haunted house. And I, as Hannah, was genuinely scared that my character was going to have to

Be in this creepy haunted house and be attacked by spooky things. I was like, I don't have to do it I was so scared. I got really grateful that it was just gonna be Zoe and Jake Friends friends all the time. Hey, man, we're gonna go to Hollywood Hollywood Horror Nights I go no you're on your own or the hayride one. No, I don't do that I've been on the hayride one. They chase you know Chase you from the woods

Okay. No, no, no. We're not doing that. Have you seen the movie Clown House? No, I don't watch horror movies either. Nothing. Let me give you the synopsis of Clown House really quick just to put some more fear into your heart. Just before Halloween, three young brothers alone in a big house. Sam Rockwell's in this movie, by the way. Young Sam Rockwell. These three brothers, they're alone in the big house and they are menaced by three escaped mental patients who have murdered some traveling circus clowns and taken their identity. No.

That's a real thing that could happen. Okay. Hello? This is the thing. If you want to know how much I hate scary movies and haunted houses and that whole spooky industry, for me, look, the people that it works for, look, I'm not taking any dollars out of their pockets by saying this because the people who love it love it. I know. But before New Girl, before anything, I got offered a movie.

because it was a friend of mine who got his big break as like a director and it was to direct this absolutely twisted disgusting horror film and he knew me and he was like you're you know i know you're a great actress he'd seen me do a bunch of stage stuff whatever he was like he was like i want i want you to be the lead and it was like me having to watch like

Horrifying things. And then being chased through the woods at night with someone racing after me with like a machete and then catching me. And I was like...

I have to really do that, though, as a person. I know I'm acting, but as a person, you're going to have me run through the woods all by myself at night while you guys are way deep off doing a big wide shot with your camera while someone chases me through the woods. And I thought about like that whole like Hitchcock, you know, the psycho. And I was just like, it would haunt me forever.

And even though I was trying to get my break as an actress, here's an offer for a movie. I've got a blank resume, nothing on it. I said, no, thank you. That's how much I hate it. I was like, nope, I'll give up my dream as an actor. I cannot put myself in that situation. Oh, you should maybe talk about this episode. Cause I could talk about my fear for five hours. Sorry, everybody. Sorry, everybody go have fun this Halloween. Go to all the haunted houses. You want to nothing bad's going to get all the candy candy. Delicious.

Yeah, 100%. So in this episode, Nick Schmidt and Winston, they prep the apartment for Nick's ex-girlfriend to come in. Yeah, that's very sweet. He's really excited. This girl is idolized.

His whole life and just love from the very first sight, but doesn't really know her at all. Right. He likes the idea of her. That's right. We're going to find out later on. I mean, you can kind of tell when you watch it that, you know, that's that's kind of what's going on there. You know, I mean, I like to get personal. Have you ever gone through something like that?

Have I ever gone through something like that? I've definitely, you have a crush on somebody and then you meet them and chat with them and talk about them. And it's incredible how quickly somebody that you're like, oh, they're so beautiful or they seem so smart or whatever it is, can give you the ick really fast on something that you never saw coming. And in this case, the two of them are just sexually incompatible.

Different physical styles. Different physical styles. So I'm like, okay, I get it. And that's where you go like, Nick, you need to learn to grow up a little bit and speak your truth. Let me tell you something. It's hard to tell someone who bites your lip that that's bad.

That's, you know, especially me. No, no, I mean, talk the truth of being like, this is not going to work. You can't change how somebody like. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Don't put your fucking teeth on my face. What is wrong with you? You know, I am a professional actor. I have to go to work. How do you think this is going to look when I show up with Dracula's

marks all over my body like someone's been drinking my blood like I'm into some weird Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly shit okay it's not gonna look right it works for them it doesn't work for me bites on the face they broke up yeah Hannah stop don't do this to me Hannah don't do this

I know. I'm so sorry. No! Look, who knows? It might not be forever. Did they really break up? You could text her and you could tell her that, you know. I gotta hit her. I gotta let her know. I gotta see if she's okay.

As a friend, obviously. Yes. As a friend. You just got a smile on your face. You seemed upset for a second and now you're realizing something and now you're smiling. I just want to say. So you're saying Machine Gun Kelly is available. Slow it down, Lamorte. Oh my gosh. Okay. The other thing that happens in the beginning of this episode that I think is really sweet is that

Because I just love it. This is like some like old rom-com trope that I love so much. She finds out the guy, Jess finds out the guy that she's trying to be in this like meaningless sex relationship is a pediatrician. Yeah. And like a sweet, fun pediatrician, which is her full kryptonite. Yeah. If there was somebody that you were dating very casually and you're like, I don't want to catch feelings. This person's made it clear that they'll never have those kind of feelings. Is there...

Is there a professional kryptonite that they could have that you'd be like, oh, no, you do that now? I can't help it. There's feelings and they're happening. Yeah. Like if she were like a dominatrix, I'd be like, OK, that's scary to me. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah.

You know, I love funny people, comedians. Like, you know, if there's a if there's someone who's like a comedy writer or something like that, I'm like, oh, God, I got to do it. I don't know. You should put the yeah, we're floating that out there. Any, you know, any comedy writers out there? Because, you know, yeah, I think that's a very special trait to have, you know, especially because I'm stupid. And, you know, there's.

If you can find the humor in my stupidity, I think that's really nice. That's so funny because that happens in this episode with Winston and Shelby is that she feels like Winston doesn't have a sense of humor and that's why they're incompatible. So you've got like sexual incompatibility, sinking a relationship here. Then you've got this not having a sense of humor thing, sinking a relationship here.

And you have a guy who's like, I don't know what to tell you. I've been honest from the beginning. I don't feel anything for you, but I like having a physical relationship with you and it's not changing. So you can't sit here and look sad because I've been clear. I've been honest. You know, what's interesting about that moment? I know we're jumping forward a little bit is when she when she asks him when he says he can't change who he is.

She says, do you want me to leave? First of all, she plays that scene perfectly. She portrayed that scene in such a dope way. The problem is she's dressed like a zombie. Zombie Woody Allen. Zombie Woody Allen. I don't know how she pulls it off, but it works so perfectly that I too wouldn't be able to fully

my feelings or open up to her if she were dressed so stupidly I'd be like what shut up call me later what you know because I'm emotionally stunted I know that for a fact

So that's probably why. I have to laugh at you right now because you look crazy. So I can't now break your heart and destroy your ego and reject you in this public place. I can't. Can we, can we put a pin in it? I'll do it tomorrow. Exactly. Not like exactly. Speaking of which, let's go back a little bit there. Woody Allen impressions. Who do you think, who do you, who do you think had the best Woody Allen impression? Let's put a poll out there for all the fans.

Who do you, you personally, who do you think had the best one? I mean, I feel like Max did an amazing impression. Max had the best one. Yeah, for sure. And Jake's surprised me. Wasn't terrible. It wasn't bad, but I think Max, I don't know if that's a, I think he's been studying Woody Allen. I think he just enjoyed it more. He liked doing it. And so you feel that in the- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And the Woody Allen impression. Here's the thing that's funny is that when Winston does his finally, right? And Max and Jake clap that for real. I know that that was not on the page that they applauded. I think you were just supposed to say that line and that was supposed to be the button. And they were just like,

Yeah, that's kind of to you. Lamorne is who they were doing it. And it was show. Yeah, that was probably a clap for Lamorne. Yeah, I can tell. I can see in their face. They're just like, come on. It's really good. Anybody who knows me knows I don't like to appropriate other people's cultures. You know what I'm saying? I'm not going to pretend to be Woody Allen. You know what I'm saying? Internally, do I feel like Woody Allen? Yeah.

But externally, nah. Nah, there's too much melanin in my voice. You did a very good impression, too. I think that's why they gave you the applause. They were just like, come on. That was really good. You did a great job. Thank you for saying that. That means a lot. I'm one of the greatest impressionists of all time. Let's keep going. Let's talk about Nelson Franklin. And his costume. Oh, my gosh.

When he genuinely, because he is a very tall man. When he walked out in the- About 6'12".

He's 6'15". Yes. When he walked out in those very tight, because that was the joke, super tight green spandex pants, I remember audibly laughing. And because Nelson is the most wonderful human in real life, he's very Robbie. Yes. Like, he...

Laughed himself. He thought it was great that people were laughing. Like he's just the most wonderful person. Oh yeah. That scene in Max coming in, uh, Schmidt coming in and just destroying him was one of the funniest back and forths. And, and Robbie could not be phased by the insults coming from Schmidt. Well, you know what it is and you get why CC kind of likes Robbie is that, um,

As much as she cannot stay away from Schmidt and they're just thing is that that undeniable thing, whatever it is that brings two people together. Um,

Schmidt is just like a whole bowl of insecurity and Robbie is a fully secure human. He's just very secure with himself. So you can't phase them. And I think that it bumps Schmidt so badly because he's so insecure. And if anybody said one of those things to him, he would, it would impact him. The thing that's super funny about that scene too, when he's destroying Nelson, um,

And this is how you know your cast members so well because you've worked together for so long is when he says that he cut himself on a pumpkin, not the knife, but the pumpkin. I you if you were on the back of Max.

and it's on Nelson for that line, you watch Max shrug his shoulders up and down like this. And you know that's him because we know him well enough going like, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. And I'm going to laugh and I'm going to ruin this take. You guys better call cut. There's nothing I can do. It's so fucking funny. We're done. And I just know it from the motion of his shoulders to know what Max, like what that was that he was breaking. And I could tell from the back.

That's how funny it is. It's so funny you say that. I was watching it with Sam, my assistant, and she mentioned that. She mentioned that very moment. Yeah, I swear to God, she just mentioned that a little bit ago when we were watching the episode about the back of Schmidt's head. And you could tell the reaction he's giving just from that.

Yeah, there's nothing for them to cut to because I think he genuinely had the biggest grin and was just delighting in how funny Nelson was and he just couldn't keep it together. I love those moments. That's why these cast, like these guest stars that we'd have on our show, it was always the best when we made this show when they would show up because we got to sit there and watch some of the funniest people do the funniest work and we just got to sit there and watch it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll put our guest cast...

Right up there with Curb, your enthusiasm. There's a lot of crossover, actually. A lot. A lot of people that were on New Girl have been on Curb. Yeah. Sam Richardson. A lot of people. Damon. You know, Damon. Oh, my God.

MITRE's mission is to solve problems for a safer world. If you have a passion for applied cybersecurity with skills in infrastructure threat intelligence, deterrence technologies, advisal threat emulation, or intelligence analysis, explore the many challenging and fulfilling career opportunities at MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.

For 25 years, Brightview Senior Living Associates have been committed to creating a vibrant culture and delivering exceptional services, making Brightview a great place to work and live. If you're looking for a rewarding opportunity to serve your local community and grow, we want you to join our team. Brightview Senior Living is growing and actively seeking vibrant associates to join our community teams, including directors, healthcare, activities, hospitality, and dining. Apply today at careers.brightviewseniorliving.com. Equal employment opportunities.

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In Orlando, anything is possible if you can imagine it. Plan your escape today and save at visitorlando.com. That's visitorlando.com for everything you need for an amazing getaway. Okay, let's talk a little bit about this Halloween situation.

On Halloween, I think it's a natural thing for everyone to get super excited about the festivities. But more importantly, people want to know what you're going as. Like, what are you dressing up as? Yeah. And Winston decides to dress up like a cop.

Foreshadowing. Foreshadowing. For sure. Which, fun fact, it is illegal in the state of California to dress up like a cop to a police officer. Is that true? Yes. So in that moment where, because it's like impersonating a cop, you know what I mean? Yeah, I guess. People come up to you for help. You know, there's a crime in progress and they keep calling, hey, can you please help? Can you please help? And you're like, hell no, I'm not a real officer. Right.

This is pretend. I got it at Party City. Exactly. So that for sure is foreshadowing. But Shelby, my God, it's raining cats and dogs. She thinks a sense of humor is sexy. You just said that yourself, that that would be your professional kryptonite. So for Lamorne, maybe that would work for you. Let me tell you something. If she's showing up with a cape on with a bunch of fluffy teddy bears and stuff on it, she better add nothing underneath it.

You know what I'm saying? Then I'd find that. Mmm. Delicioso. But right now it's no, bro. That is not, it's not it. But it was very funny, but it does. If they're struggling in their relationship and they're like, watch this, I'm going to knock you out on Halloween and I'm going to really go for it.

Yeah, I would think that there are some subliminal messages going on if they were head to toe, literally caped up. Yeah. I'd be like, I think you're I think maybe you're trying to tell me something else. Because when she says it, she was. But once it even says he said, look at me, I came out here looking all good, looking all sexy.

You know what I'm saying? Because everybody loves if you ever go to one of them parties and the strippers show up, they're usually wearing cop outfits. I've never understood that. I don't understand this. A man in uniform is so sexy. This like I've never not. No, it does not work for me. Really? Oh, well, you know, I wonder if more people out there feel like you. I wonder. I don't know. Should we do a poll? Because people love. A man dressed as a cop. Do it for you.

Well, you know, if he's a bike cop, you know what I mean? Wearing tight shorts. The short shorts? The short shorts. You know, a little testicle hanging out. You know, that don't hurt nobody. That might do it. That might do it for somebody. I don't know. I feel like I'm learning a lot about you tonight. Those short shorts right there on Venice Beach.

Speaking of short shorts, because Max ends up wearing nothing but his Speedo at the end of it. We'll get to that because I have to discuss it. But the other laugh out loud funniest, honestly, in series, I think, is the headbutt into...

So funny. Nelson's hand. I could watch that and I have a million times. That scene is, and then he's like starts eating halfway through it and he's still not in Schmidt bag.

is so funny to me. That whole storyline was so fun to do because Cece always plays it really cool. All the time she plays it really cool. And it was nice that to see character wise that he just took it

a step too far. Like now you're really like disrespecting my relationship. You're treating my boyfriend like an idiot, which means you're treating me like an idiot. And then she like gets really mad. And I remember being surprised that they wanted me to get really mad because it seemed a little out of character, but it just had, it had pushed her too far. And I will tell you, nothing makes me happier as a human being than getting paid to yell at someone.

It's a real perk of the career. You got anger issues? No, you can't yell at people in real life. That's not okay. Don't do that. Don't speak to people like that. But you know what? It's a very cathartic thing to like get loud. And I just remember being like, oh, this is a nice thing. I get to just like yell right now at somebody and then y'all give me a check. This is great. But you know, what's interesting about that is that it's that a person who can provoke you to get that way. Well, that's how you know that she's not over him because she's

You would think she would just grab her boyfriend's hand and be like this fool, my ex a stalker. Bye. And it's not. Cause Robbie has a very calm demeanor. He goes and hangs out with him alone. That's the funniest part. He's like, let's just go and work this out. You and I, well, there's a question I have for you and for the folks out there in listener land.

Is that attractive to you? Is that a turn on to you? Someone who always remains calm, even in those types of situations? Or do you, you know, do you want somebody who can, you know, every once in a while say, hey, sit your ass down, sit your ass down, get your ass over here right now. Do you like that?

I don't know. I think that's personal taste. I just know that if somebody is going to talk to other people like that, that usually means if you push them far enough, they're going to talk to you like that. So be careful what you ask for. Yeah, I'm just saying every once in a while, you know, every once in a while she needs to sit her ass down and I need to be the one to tell it to her with some bass in my voice, especially with this mustache that I got now.

You're really loving your mustache right now. Sit your ass down now, woman. I done told you. I done told you now. Sit your ass down. I think that might go over well. Yeah. You're currently single at this moment. Yeah. People don't like, apparently women don't like to sit their ass down. And I haven't learned my lesson yet, but I will. I will. I will. It's so funny in this relationship where you're seeing all of these friends

incompatibilities, they really explore it a lot in the episode. You see a huge moment of foreshadowing with Schmidt and Cece dressed as a bride and groom.

And I love it so much. It's so funny because she's so mad at it and he's loving it so much. But it's kind of like in that fluffer episode that we talked about where they do these like little series foreshadowings. That was Nick and Jess going on a fake date that you could see was real to them.

And you see they keep it in a two-shot for most of it with Schmidt and CeCe dressed as a bride and groom so that the audience can kind of sink their teeth a little further into that relationship and want them back together. That was nice. It was nice. What was not nice was Schmidt dressed like Abraham Lincoln and then tells Winston that he witnessed the emancipation of one black man. Oh, my God. I said, hey, man, shut up. I mean...

A good joke is a good joke. However, I was like, man, eternally, it made me want to laugh. But I was like, nah, I don't think this is funny. I ain't laughing for you. That was a little offensive. And so the red. Here's the thing. If you walked into your trailer and hanging in your wardrobe area was just a pair of red Speedos. Would you be OK with that?

Well, I'm getting, there's this tool, these weights that you can put on the, that's another conversation. I'd be fine with it.

Yeah. Oh my God. I'm more so. No, it'd be because for me, it depends. It depends. I'm not known as like, I don't look like, I'm not out here looking like Michael B. Jordan with my shirt off, you know, these days. You were putting in work. I remember you were like, you got all action. I did. I put in work, but then I put in extra work to get rid of that work. So that worked.

Somehow that second bit of work was so much easier. It's so funny. We have to choose the work. The second work is better. It felt great. It felt great. But it depends. It depends on my, you know, how I'm feeling. Max Greenfield stays in shape. So he loves that. He loves, you know, going out there with his thighs out and his chest out. That's something that he probably pitched that to. He probably auditioned for Magic Mike before.

didn't go the way he thought it was going to go and was like, hey guys, can I show them what they've been missing? Can we write a storyline? I wonder, I want to find the original script if it was on the paper that he had to dance.

He loves dancing, I think. I know he loved dancing. And I was like, I wonder, because that was a very Max dance. Yeah. And I was like, was that in there or did he just do it in that wide walkaway shot and did something funny? I think he just did that. At that moment, he had to have done that. He's a performer. When you see an audience, you kind of, and then the background in that instance were audience members. He probably went for it.

What a great episode. Here's my question, since it's you and me doing the podcast today. And we are very good friends and we are like a brother and sister. So here's my situation. If it was me and you knew that this boy that I really liked and I've been trying to play it cool and I was going to tell him how I felt and then you caught him texting.

some other chick and you knew, oh yeah, that's not going to go well. She's going to get fully rejected and hurt. And we both have established our real fear of haunted houses. But I'm working in the haunted house in this hypothetical situation. Would you brave it to come in and tell me? Oh yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I would do it. I would do it. Or like any other logical person, I would wait till she got out of the haunted house.

Do you know what I mean? Here's what I would do. I would text you. Text her. I would text you immediately, without hesitation. I would wait by the back door where I know you'd walk out. So I'd get to you before you could go and get to this chick that's like about to break your heart. For sure. Like for sure. I don't know if I'd go in the haunted house. Yeah. I'm like, first of all, you ain't got to do that. You ain't got to go in there. I don't understand what the point is.

If you're having to go through that just to tell her some crap. Just wait. Important information. I don't want you to get heartbroken, but I can't face up here for you. I love you. And the self is too. I'm going to tell you right now while you're working. Yeah. You know, because you got to stay focused as a performer to scare these people. Yeah. I would text you. I would call you. Then you know something's going up if I actually like ring your phone, you know, like this. Yeah. Because also what you got to realize is that he did the wrong thing because he went in there and he ended up beating her up.

That's right. It was too much for him to handle. That's right. The moment got ahead of him and he...

You punched her in the face and knocked her clean out. And I think that was a sign that he should have probably texted her. Would you offer that to somebody? If you accidentally hit this girl, total accident, like a crazy scenario like this, would you be like, you know what? It doesn't sit right with me. You get a free hit. No. You know, I would...

I'd buy her something nice. Yeah. There's no need for an eye for an eye. You know, that's old thinking. Yeah. That's a lie. That's, that's, that's too much. That's too much because you know what? You know, two wrongs don't make a right. That's correct. You know, you can't do that. You can't perpetuate violence. You know, in our community, there's too much violence happening. And I think we need to come together. Yeah. And buy each other nice things to say we're sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, heal it with a dollar bill. This was a wonderful episode. When we come back from the break, we're going to play some True American. True American.

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What's the best way to handle exes if you're the new partner? The best way to handle exes if you're the new partner. I'm gonna let you go first on this one because this one, this is something I think about.

This is you and I have talked about this because I remember when we first met and we were chatting about it. You were like, well, you what? I've it's always been this way. So it's not like changed from relationship to relationship. But unless you're fully done with your ex and they are fully out of the picture, this I don't think that a relationship between you and I are going to work.

Yeah, you can't have somebody lingering. No. And I do the same. If I break up with somebody, that relationship is over. I'm not texting them and checking in with them and calling them and whatever because I don't think that's... For me, it's fair for my new relationship, a new partner, for us to be full and to have somebody that I love still...

hanging around. Now, I know lots of people who are friends with their exes and that's just a part of their life. And they're like, look, this is just part of my deal. And it all works for them. But for me, it's always been a rule since I was a teenager. I can tell you this. I am friends with a lot of my exes. I know you are. And I think it's okay. I think it's okay. However, there are moments for me personally where I don't want to see

Her ex hanging around. So is it a double standard then? Yeah, probably. And I'll be the first to admit that because, you know, it also depends on how the relationship was, how it ended it. Let's say let's say, you know, they were in some crazy, you know, wild thing.

Megan Fox machine gun Kelly ask blood drinking relationship. And then let's say you go and you start dating Megan Fox and you're having a good time and six foot five, you know, machine gun Kelly show up spitting bars while he got a vial on his neck with your lady's blood in it. That's weird. I don't know if I like this. Right.

I don't know if I like the energy that's because clearly that was a very, very passionate relationship. Okay. So it would depend on the ex. And if you are dating someone and they were like, well, that one friend of yours that used to date it, that one, for some reason, doesn't feel comfortable. Would you be able to let go of someone who is now a friend that you used to date if it makes your current partner uncomfortable? Yeah, it would have to, it would have to come from a reason though, because let me tell you something.

I can't make you happy. You have to make yourself happy in life. I can be a participant in your happiness. But if you, if you are, if you get into a relationship to both, both parties have to be solid. Both parties have to be secure. Both parties have to be comfortable. You have to be able to make yourself happy. So if my past is,

affects you yeah and any kind of way part of that is on you now it's also on the x if the x is showing up all the time look you know i'm saying doing the doing the thing that you like

Making the faces. Right. Making the gestures. No, he knows your ticklish spots. If you walk it up, talk about, Hey, and he give you that look and he got hazel eyes and stuff and he light skin. Like, you know how those dudes be too much. And then he, he whisper in her ear and he tickled the back of her neck. Cause he know that's what she into. Then we got a problem.

We got a problem. You know what this just reminded me of? And then we will close this episode. But this did just remind me of you telling me of a friend of yours that would put on some very revealing sweatpants and would walk through a room when you were dating someone to test your

if the chick you were dating had wandering eyes. Like that was your homie being like, okay, let me just see if she's going to be like faithful to my boy. That's what the homies do for other homies. Yeah. I had no idea. I was like, he did what?

Yeah, let's see. Let's see if I walk out here throwing it around. Man, all the tests in relationships. I truly believe that this is why. That was a 20-year-old self, though. That was back in the early 20s. Yeah, that was back in the day. But it was very sweet. It was a sweet little act of friend solidarity. It'd be like, let's test them. Let's see.

Let me put on these one pair of sweatpants I wear for this occasion. Lamor, let me tell you something. Upon having sex with her, I can tell you that she is a wanderer. Thanks. Thanks. You are a real friend. I appreciate you doing this for me, brother. You're my best friend. We're about to go on a few more dates. Keep testing her. Okay.

We're getting married now, Lamar, and I feel like she's not the one for you anymore. I don't think she's good enough for you. But if you don't mind, now that you're done with her. Oh, man. Friendships first. Before we go, there's something that I got to call you out on.

You know, we're over here talking about relationships and friendships and you're sharing stories from the past. But there's one thing, there's one particular thing that I definitely have to call you out on. And I'm sorry to put this out there publicly. You haven't found the bear. Now it's time for Where's the Bear? Where's the Bear?

Where's the Bear is brought to you by Hyundai. When it comes to your journey, Hyundai is thinking of every mile. Okay, listen, season two, okay? Because I've taken, I've pulled back the lens and, you know, I do all of my, I don't only just watch Looking for the Bear. I go online. I crowdsource. I do everything I can.

Season two is a little trickier for my bear hunt, but I still have this unshakable belief that the bears are planted there for a reason and intentionally so. The bear is on the fridge. You see it clearly on the fridge. And I go like, is that just now this thing in the bear hunt where Liz and everybody were just like, we're just going to have like a perma bear.

And then we might have some additional bears. So I feel like my bear hunt is like fully validated with the bear on the fridge. And then we're going to find additional bears. And that is what I am telling myself. And I'm not looking for any response. Okay. Hey, Hannah, I'm right there with you. Hey, whatever makes you feel better about not being able to find the bear. I mean, the bear is a massive creature.

You know, we all know when a bear is in the room, but if you don't want to, you know what I'm saying? But that's on you. And I think the fans out there will be holding you to task. They will call you out on it. Also, by the way, the fans are the most helpful people on this podcast. If you find a bear, I'm struggling with this one. I'm also struggling a little bit with Fluffer to find the additional bears besides the bear on the fridge. Please DM me. Please tag me in a post about it. I'm...

Um, because I believe it's there. I just need some extra eyes and some bear hunters. Thanks for helping us with our bear hunt Hyundai. Remember with Hyundai, it's all about the journey, whatever your destination, they've got the latest tech to get you there safe and keep your passengers entertained along the way from shopping to buying to owning Hyundai has your back. Learn more at Hyundai usa.com. Oh, before we go really quick. Yes. My mustache really fell off in that argument scene. Um,

It fell off, and I said, yes, you're making me so mad my mustache fell off. I was going to ask you about that because I remember—

watching that episode, I think it was one of the very few times I laughed out loud and I watched it when it really aired back in whatever, 2012, texting you or asking you the next day on set. I was like, cause I wasn't there for that scene. I was like, did they like pull, like pull part of your mustache off for that joke? And no, you told me it fell off and then you just kept going in character. And it was so funny that it made the show.

One of the best moments. Oh yeah, I was shocked they kept it in there. I was shocked they kept it in there. It's so good though. Oh yeah, there's a couple moments like that throughout this show where stuff happens for real. Me stubbing my toe, fans always ask about that. These things really happen. Yeah, there are moments that truly happen and they would make the show, but it's one of those things that you get to be on a show long enough, you learn and remember, which is, it's that old cliche of like, until they yell cut,

keep going. Just keep going. Because you could have just been like, oh, hold up. The mustache came off and they could have fixed it. They would have glued it back on and we never would have gotten that moment. So kudos to you for staying in it because it was so funny. Daniel Day-Lewis over here, everybody. Left and right foot. Leon Day-Lewis.

We love you guys. Please like, subscribe, leave good comments, leave positive comments. We love you. Make sure you go get our merch. And tag us in it. If you're wearing our merch, please tag us. We love to see it out in the streets.

And tag us in some haunted house photos because we hate them and maybe you love them. Oh, and the other thing, my favorite thing, and I know this is not airing around Halloween, but I will say one of my favorite things that still goes on is when for Halloween people dress up as the new girl characters and tag us in it. Yes. Awesome. Keep doing that. But don't go in blackface. Don't do that. Everybody knows where the lines are. These are new girl fans. They know. That's a problem. Don't go blackface. All right. Bye, you guys. Thanks for listening. Love ya. Bye.

You've been listening to Welcome to Our Show, a New Girl Recap podcast. Welcome to Our Show is a production of iHeartRadio, hosted by Zooey Deschanel, Lamorne Morris, and Hannah Simone. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our engineer and editor is Daniel Goodman. The Welcome to Our Show theme song was written by Zooey Deschanel, performed and produced by Zooey Deschanel and Pierre Derrida.

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