Kevin O’Leary Demolishes CNN Host Over Trump Verdict!
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How much do you guys know about the things flying around in the sky under the ocean? I didn't know anything about it. I found a thing on National Geographic called UFOs Exploring the Unknown, a five-part series, and I was hooked. I started paying attention to the hearings, the fact that the Senate Majority Leader is asking for a UFO disclosure and none of the mainstream media is covering it.

Well, Monday through Friday on my show, I try to cover all the stuff going on in the world of the UFO, UAP phenomenon. Check it out. Be educated. I ain't asking you to believe in all of this other stuff about what people are theorizing. I'm just telling you to ask questions. So come on over, ask some questions, be part of Down to Earth with Christian Harloff.

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Why, hello, Jake Tapper from The Lead with Jake Tapper on CNN. How are you? I'm blown away. That was very nicely done. I'm doing great, actually. Thanks for asking. Because I have some rather exciting news. Yeah, what's the news, Jake? Well, Jimmy, in addition to my daily news program, The Lead with Jake Tapper on CNN, I'm proud to announce that I have a new limited series on CNN that premieres this Sunday. Oh, really? Tell me about it.

That's the idea. It's called The United States of Scandal with Jake Tapper on CNN. And according to an interview I read with me, available on CNN.com, this show looks like it is going to deliver what it promises. What?

Well, Jimmy, each episode is going to focus on a well-known scandal in American politics, scandals that occurred in recent history, but before the Trump era, which, as you know from watching CNN, redefined what a political scandal could even be. In each case, we look back with some historical perspective and ask the basic question, what were they thinking? Sounds compelling, Jake. What are some of these scandals?

Oh, remember him? What were they thinking? They weren't thinking with their head, if you know what I mean. Oh, yeah, those guys.

Right? Remember those guys? That was crazy stuff. I'm not sure stuff like that is really in the front of people's minds anymore when they think of scandal. Mark Sanford. Well, there's also non-sexual scandal, boring, such as Rod Blagojevich trying to sell a Senate seat and Scooter Libby outing a CIA agent. What were they thinking? Ha ha ha!

What were they thinking indeed? Well, Jimmy, you say that, but it's not just a rhetorical question. Since I am a journalist, I need to actually answer the questions that are raised. I have a possible answer to what these men were thinking. What's that, Jake? I call it my Jar Jar Binks theory. What? Excuse me?

I'm not kidding. I read about this in the interview with me on CNN.com. My Jar Jar Binks theory is this. Remember Jar Jar Binks? Vaguely. I mean, more than Mark Sandberg. Right.

Just a reminder that I'm a grown adult man, Jake. Oh, right. Well, Jar Jar Binks was a Star Wars character that was introduced in 1999 in The Phantom Menace. Yeah, everyone's a grown man that saw that now. That's 20 years ago. And he was roundly despised by everybody, including Star Wars fans. George Lucas thought he'd be lovable, but...

but the public found this racist stereotype embodied by an upright walking space amphibian with scoliosis repugnant. Okay.

The problem was by this time George Lucas had become so powerful that he didn't have people around him to tell him this is a bad idea. People will hate this fake guy. We all need people around us to put us in check sometimes. Sometimes powerful people, especially politicians, like that and surround themselves only with yes men. Thus my Jar Jar Binks theory. Is that the best analogy you could come up with?

I think it's a good analogy. Sadly, yes. I really suck at analogies. Yeah. Also, I've become so powerful myself at CNN that I don't have anyone around me who feels comfortable saying, hey, maybe don't call this the Jar Jar Binks theory, at least publicly. Okay, Star Wars aside, are you going to be delving into any serious grave scandals?

I don't know. Perhaps Bill Clinton going to Jeffrey Epstein's island dozens of times. Come on, what? Wouldn't you call that a scandal?

I mean, it's the Clintons. So? This is CNN. We can't, like, fuck around here. I want to keep my job and my heartbeat. Oh. How about our current president allowing a genocide to happen on his watch? Uh-oh.

Okay, okay, let's get real here. First of all, I ain't gonna call that a genocide. It's a complicated issue, capisce? And even if this were a scandal, it's not a fun one. We prefer the adultery-type scandals, you know? It's Sunday night, people want Sunday night-type stuff. People are going to work tomorrow, the weekend is over, they don't want to think about dead kids, you know? This is pretty cowardly stuff, Jake.

Okay, fuck you, man. What do you think is going to happen here? I'm going to point to an ex-president having sex with a trafficked 15-year-old or an entire extended palatine family extinguished and then say, what were they thinking? You kidding? Give me a break. I'm just saying it's an option.

Yeah, that's because you have a YouTube show that you're the boss of. Good for you. Some of us don't have that luxury. Some of us need to be very careful about what we say on television, if you know what I mean. It's a definite phenomenon. The more eyeballs that are on you, the more people monitor what you talk about. Actually, I have a theory about this that I call the Babu Frick Theory. Oh, Jesus. Remember Babu Frick?

Don't do this. I can't do this. We got to go, Jake. Okay, bye.

So the political persecution and prosecution of former President Donald Trump is in full swing. And they just came to it as the corrupt judge, corrupt attorney general or prosecutor. She's the attorney general, Letitia James. Letitia James, she's a prosecutor. She's just a prosecutor. And that creepy ass judge. And they prosecuted him for, they say he inflated the value of a property he owned so he could get a bank loan.

They think that it's standard. It's called capitalism. If I'm trying to sell a car, I put the price high and then we negotiate down.

Just like, so what Trump did was he put the price high and the bank came in and they negotiated it down and then they came to a agreement. He got the loan. He paid the loan back to the bank. They made a healthy profit. The bank made a healthy profit. And also, he didn't exaggerate even if you look up the prices. But the bank even said they would go back. They would like to do business with him again. Yeah. So this is a victimless crime. It's not even a crime.

And you got a corrupt judge and a corrupt prosecutor. This is what I thought they did in Banana Republics. But United States is a banana republic since they elected Donald Trump, a guy who didn't want to do foreign wars. That's all it took. And you're saying that I have to vote for his political enemy to to save democracy. Democracy is out the window.

And what the New York Post is saying, it says them elites shouldn't be laughing at Trump's civil trial outcome. They just made him a political martyr. What do you mean just? The two fuck bullshit impeachments did that. Plus that crazy lady civil trial and Russiagate. He's been a martyr for a while. I never even liked him on any level. And now I think he's funny because you. That's right. So much. That's right. You know, agrees with me. Jamie Dimon from Chase.

So here's what the New York Post says. Was there ever a more predictable outcome than that of Donald Trump's civil trial? Attorney General Letitia James, she's the attorney general, came into office vowing to punish him and ignore all other crimes. Judge Arthur Engeren found him guilty before anyone even said he was guilty before they even started the trial. Jesus, that judge looks like the punishment if you're bad at Christmas in some Norwegian countries. Yes. He shows up.

It was all over but the punishment, a $355 million fine and a three-year ban from running a business in New York. Wow. So now business people, because what they're accusing Trump of doing is called normal business.

Right. And so now they're prosecuting Trump for doing normal real estate business. So now most people are afraid that if they run afoul of the establishment in New York, they will also be used in the corrupt the justice system to make them criminal. I've been telling people this. I tried to explain it to numbskull Colonel West when he was on my show. But he's too big.

of an ivory tower, a hypocrite and, and, uh, and pussy. I'll just say, he lives on grants. Right. Right. Uh,

to admit what was going on right in front of his face. Cornel West doesn't have the stones of a YouTuber to tell the truth about that. Even if it's happening to your political enemy, it would happen to Cornel West if he ever actually did oppose the establishment in any meaningful way. They would criminalize him too. But he knows he'll never do that, which is why he pretended he didn't see what was happening. So this, again, I didn't vote for Trump. I'm not going to vote for Trump.

But I see what's happening. They would do this to Bernie Sanders if he stood up. They would do this to Cornel West if he stood up. They will do this to anybody who stands up against the establishment, just like they did to Edward Snowden, just like they're doing to...

Julian Assange. This is what the establishment does. And now people in New York who are actual businessmen don't want to do business in New York anymore because they're afraid if the establishment gets pissed off at them, they're going to do what they did to Trump to them. And so the governor of New York had to give a statement about

reassuring people that, no, no, no, we're just doing fake political prosecutions of Donald Trump. And here's how she said it. That's reassuring. She goes, I understand that the Trump ruling might make New York business people fearful, but this is really an extraordinarily unusual circumstance. Yeah, because the establishment, the military industrial complex, wants to prosecute him and criminalize him so they can get their war money going.

This is an extraordinary, unusual circumstance that the law abiding rule following New Yorkers who are business people have nothing to worry about until you cross the establishment, which could happen any moment, which could happen at any moment. Just say that you don't like this prosecution and they'll come after you. You remember Occupy Wall Street?

Uh, yes. They took that real now might've looked like some smelly hippies, but the business people took that so seriously that life went straight downhill after that. That's right. They've been, you think they don't take this seriously? That's right. So she, so that's what the, that's what the governor said. Uh,

And it is, this is very different. I like how she says, this is a very, it's an extraordinarily unusual, yeah, it's different because we hate Trump. So you don't have to worry that we weaponize the law to go after a guy we don't like. We probably never do that again. Okay.

As long as the establishment likes you. Yeah. So it's like canceling has finally, you know, what's unusual about this is how clumsily and how obvious it is. Like it used to be not quite as or maybe I could just see it better. I don't know. Maybe I was just dumb the whole time, but I don't remember it being this openly. This is just blatant right out in the open.

And so here's a guy, Kevin O'Leary, goes on CNN. I can't believe they brought him on because Kevin O'Leary, even when a scumbag like Kevin O'Leary is going to be on your side, I don't want to call him a scumbag. I do. That's the guy that promoted FTX. Don't you know that? Oh, my God.

That's right. He said he would still do business with FTX guy. He crosses the line at this. But this, that's how bad it is. Even Kevin O'Leary has something to say about it. He'll never go do business in New York, but he will do business with the FTX guy. Well, that's how scary it is for businessmen. Watch what he says. All this in an appeal, which I think it should be appealed. He'll work hard to raise it. I think he can do it. But I don't think this case is about Trump anymore at all. Because.

Because you heard the governor of New York come out yesterday and say, look, everybody, don't be scared about doing business in New York. Because the only people we prosecute are people like Donald Trump who don't behave well. That didn't go over very well with the investment community because we're all asking each other questions.

Who's next? This was a victimless crime. Nobody lost any money. And a judge out of nowhere put on a $355 million penalty. I mean, who's next? So if you think about it, I don't want to cut you off, but I hear about the so-called victimless crimes, but the laws on the books.

Falsification of business records and second degree issuing false. I love this argument, but he broke laws. I didn't know we were prosecuting past presidents because they broke laws. You know, Barack Obama is a war criminal. Every president in my lifetime is a war criminal. George Bush ordered a torture program that was worldwide and he didn't get prosecuted. Barack Obama says it's better for everyone if we don't prosecute the torture. The torture we did.

But this law, I don't even believe he broke, by the way, I don't believe that. He didn't break a law. Yeah, I don't believe that at all. But now all of a sudden, it's about the rule of law, Kurt. Okay, here we go. Statements, insurance fraud, conspiracy, and all these different aspects of it, those are actual crimes. I take it your point is that these should not have been prosecuted?

Well, my point is there's never been a case like this in 75 years. Everything you just listed off is done by every real estate developer everywhere on earth in every city. This has never, ever been prosecuted. But here's the real point that people in New York should concern themselves with. You can put your money anywhere. I'm a real estate developer. Do you think there's a chance I would ever take a chance on New York again? New York is turning itself into a flyover state.

I have to build data centers now. I'm not going to go to New York. New York has power. It's got fiber optics. It's got Niagara Falls. But no, we're not even thinking about it. We're going to places that have the exact same thing where we have rational governors that have never done this to investors. This is about New York and its people. If I were in New York today and I was living there, I would ask myself, maybe we should hire better management people.

Why is this happening to us? Why are we becoming a flyover state? Why are investors concerned about putting their money there? But shouldn't you ask, wouldn't those people also be saying, first of all, I do wonder how many people take issue with the idea that every investor is engaged in falsifying business recommendations.

Oh my dear God.

She just heard that capitalism might be corrupt now. She can't believe it. And you should listen to this scumbag guy from Shark Tank because people that are way into money, that's all they look at. That's all. Well, what is my investment? I can't even say it's bad to think that way because why wouldn't you if you know the state can abuse the law to go after you? And you're already a scumbag because you work in real estate. That's right. Real estate is one of the slimiest professions out there. By the way, all the...

rent might come down in new york because of this i swear to god because all the foreign investment that yes artificially keeping it which you know that's but that'd be a good thing for me if i lived in new york but it wouldn't be good for new york having to pay for all these illegal aliens now they already have like something like a 42 unused occupancy in business yeah tim dillon told me a while yeah they're they're hurting in new york why the housing crash not affect rent here at all

And it turns out because foreign investors have just bought up all the properties. That's right. Yeah. Organization. Cause there's probably a lot who are saying themselves, I've never falsified my business records. I know what a square foot looks like. I know what, what I can find, but it's weird. You didn't find one of those people. Yeah. Isn't it weird? She didn't find a successful real estate person who said, I never did what Trump did. Cause if they hold up in court, cause if they could, they would have brought them in.

Why wouldn't you bring them in? You bring in Kevin O'Leary. Here we go. Ask for and what I have the money to support. So I wonder to what extent that really is true. But on the second point, wouldn't there be many companies who would not want to do business or loan money to people like yourself or investors if they know that they can get away with fraud and there's no recourse to protect them?

Excuse me, what fraud? This is not about Trump anymore. When you get a developer that builds a building and he says it's worth $400 million and he wants to borrow $200 million from a bank, which happens every day, everywhere on earth, including every American city.

Every developer is an entrepreneur. They shine the light on their building and they say it's worth 400. The bank does its own due diligence as was done in this case, 'cause they're very good at it. The banks are very good and they say, no, it's worth 300. We're only gonna loan you 150 million. That haggling has gone on for decades. That's how it works. And then in this case, even the bank that was supposedly defrauded testified and said, we didn't lose anything. We want to do business with this guy again.

We'd like to, but the judge said, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's penalize this developer for $355 million. And if we're going to do that, let's penalize...

all the developers all across America. They've all done the same thing. All of them should go to jail and we should stop building buildings. That's what the message is from New York. Even the governor herself is concerned about what this looks like to investors all around the world. It's not just U.S. domestic.

All around the world, people are talking about what happened here. You really think people want to invest money in New York after this? How about we go somewhere else? I think there are people who would. I don't want to cut you off. Well, you are. Well, you just did. It's only because I want to have a conversation, Kevin, as opposed to just having you tell me. I respect you because you're a lawyer.

You're a lawyer. You understand exactly what I'm talking about. She's a scumbag. I gotta tell you, I'm respectable for a number of reasons, Kevin O'Leary, but being a lawyer is one of those issues. What? Wait, what? She's respectable for a number of issues. Well, being a lawyer is one of them. What is that? What the hell did I just watch? I don't know what that even means.

So Manhattan has gone from the financial hub of the Western world to being a national urine sample submitted for drug testing. That's what this is. I thought she was stupid, but she's actually a lawyer. So that means she's knowingly. She's on purpose being stupid. That's really something. Yeah. Here we go.

when I hear your conversation, and I do want to converse with you about this point, I understand that there are legitimate concerns that were raised during the trial and will continue to be raised about who the quote unquote, who is actually bringing the suit. It wasn't the banks who were saying that we as consumers are unsophisticated, feel this way.

But Letitia James, the attorney general, and I know you want to expand beyond Trump, has suggested, well, it's about making the playing field level for those who are not the major and billionaire investors, but for those who are supposed to put business records out there, want to get a loan, the idea of making sure that they have to have the same true statements included as those who have a lot more money. Is there any weight to that for you? Well...

I ask you who lost money and I make it even clearer. You and I, we're developing a data center together. And I say to you, we can go to New York where this just happened. It's your money now. You're now an investor and you're taking risk. You're an entrepreneur with me right beside me. We're together on the deal. Or I can show you Oklahoma, North Dakota, West Virginia, where the governors actually ran businesses and

Let's go there where this never happened before. They have power. They have permits. They've got legislation that's supportive of entrepreneurship. Why would we go to New York? Why take the risk? My only point is, did we just diminish the great state of New York and the great people of New York? And shouldn't they ask for better management so they don't become a flyover state? And the answer is she knows that it's true what he's saying.

She does know. Good playing dumb though, I gotta say. But she is playing dumb. New York has the highest taxes in the country, the worst regulatory environment, and it's incredibly mismanaged. And I'm pointing out now on top of that, you get this insanity. A victimless crime, and forget about Trump. It's not about Trump. I don't care about Trump in this. I care about America, and I care about entrepreneurship, and I care about democracy, and the fairness of

The judicial system is now being criticized. People are asking themselves, the bar of New York. Is this judge rational to charge three hundred fifty five million in a case where no one lost any money? Is that good for the people of New York? Should the people of New York wake up to this and say, what's happening to us? Why is this becoming so perverse?

Why are we the focus of this injustice? And I have nothing to do with Trump. I'm not supporting Trump. I'm supporting American entrepreneurship. And New York is slowly becoming the number one loser state in America. I'm sorry. That's what's happening. And so now they're not going to get the business investment that he's actually talking about. He actually knows what he's talking about in that. First of all, try to get another shark tank in New York. That's not going to happen. But second of all, but second of all, um,

New York desperately needs that kind of money investment because where else they didn't get their money to build community centers for migrants. Yeah, they've got a flood of them now. Yes. The only reason New York could get away with this bullshit is because a bunch of rich people would just mindlessly invest their money in there because it's New York. I mean, how do you manage to pull that off where the rich dickheads that support your stupidity, you chase them out of your state? They're utterly chased out now. Kevin O'Leary, again, a guy that would work with Sam Bankman Freed again.

Won't touch New York. Won't touch New York. Wow. Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member. We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show. You can do it by going to JimmyDoreComedy.com, clicking on Join Premium.

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Tuesdays at Papa Murphy's, you can get large signature or thin crust pizzas for just $12. We call it Take and Bake Tuesday. Talking $12 Take and Bake Tuesday? That's today's topic. It's terrific for tuning up a tiring Tuesday through a tasty $12 treat. Truthfully, Take and Bake Tuesday tops tossing back tacos. Tell that taco to hit the trail. It's Take and Bake Tuesday. It's time to triumph. Time out. This is turning into a tongue twister. Totally tis.

So just try take and bake for $12 every Tuesday at Papa Murphy's. Change the way you pizza. Stephen Colbert does not look good.

He's not looking good. But that's beside the point. I couldn't care less about how he looks. What I really care about is the kind of person he's revealed that he is. Do you remember back in the day when he was about to get this job and a chick named Suey Park started Cancel Colbert? Yes. And we all spat at her, but she was right. Yes, she was right. She canceled Colbert. So we...

So we just did a segment about how the prosecution of Donald Trump is the weaponization of the legal system against the establishment's political opponent. Now, the donor class hates Donald Trump in the Republican and the Democratic Party, which is why this is being allowed to happen. The Republican Party, this establishment doesn't want Donald Trump and neither does the Democrat Party. And you know why? Because he won't do the wars that they want. That's the only reason.

That's it. That's all it takes. All the other stuff, he did what they wanted. He did all the regulations. They took him away. He gave a trillion-dollar tax cut to the richest people. We took the oil. We got their oil. He took the oil in Venezuela. He wanted it in Syria. Yeah. He pushed the vaccine. He bombed Syria. He didn't really bomb Syria. That's the problem. Oh.

That's the problem. Why do they say tonight he is a president? Because he bombed some air... They thought he bombed Syria. He bombed an airstrip. He didn't bomb and kill... Yeah. And then he wouldn't fund the Ukraine war the way they wanted. And that's why they impeached him. They impeached him for putting a pause on the funding to the Ukraine war. So the main reason to vote for... I can't forgive that. The main reason for voting for Donald Trump is now an impeachable offense. Yeah.

And so let's tell one good thing about him. So so Stephen Colbert, since Donald Trump has has become president, has gone on a comedy strike. He's not doing comedy anymore. And I'm going to show it to you right here. Instead of being upset that they're bastardizing the legal system and weaponizing it against their political enemies.

He's cheering this on and he's trying to get you scared that they're not prosecuting the former president enough. They didn't prosecute George Bush and Dick Cheney. They didn't prosecute those guys. But they were good because they were at least establishment. I know. I know how numb we've become, but it's not normal. No other candidate for the presidency has ever had to pause his campaign to defend himself in multiple courts. I wonder why that is, Stephen. Wait, whose side is he on here? What?

Right? It isn't normal. You're right. That isn't normal. This is not normal. We're not following the norms. Hey, you know what else isn't normal? Having an obviously senile guy in charge. That's right. And all of us sit and watch videos, and we all know, and Jon Stewart, God bless him, still has enough comedian in him to point it out, and gets viciously attacked by some kind of mind control slave. He had to go after Tucker Carlson. Yeah. By defending another Nazi. Yeah.

So Jon Stewart can't stop defending Nazis. Well, there we go. He's not anymore. But if that was an American guy who once held the views Navalny did, they would never forgive him or let it be bygones. They cancel you for a tweet you did 15 years ago. Are you kidding me? They fired Gina Carano for asking people to stop acting like Nazis. And they said she was belittling the Holocaust. Yeah. So let's watch this. And by the way, you know, Stephen Colbert is serious because he took his glasses off. This is a glasses off moment for Stephen Colbert. This is a glasses off moment.

And I would like to point out that in all seven of his cases, no one, no one doubts that he did these things. We're just sitting around patiently waiting to find out if the weed... Everybody doubts. Most sober people doubt that he did anything wrong. I just showed a segment, a video in my other segment where...

Where Kevin O'Leary, a guy who's famous for being on Shark Tank and being a famous businessman, said this is crazy. That there was no crime. This is called capitalism in business. It's like when you go in to buy a car, the car salesman goes high, you go low, and you meet in the middle. The bank even said they love the deal they got with Trump.

There's no fraud. There's no fraud. Absolutely. The bank said, we got a great deal. We made a lot of money. We'd like to do business with Trump again. You know, in a fraud, usually someone has their money stolen. That's right. You don't make money for the person. So this is Stephen Colbert, just like he did with the vaccine and COVID. He's going complete establishment shill. Whoever signs his paycheck, that's what this is. And he knows who his audience is.

And by the way, he teaches Sunday school. And some people say that's what pedophiles do. And I'm not saying that Stephen Colbert is a pedophile. I'm saying that he has the character of one. I don't believe he could overpower a child. Justice will grind fast enough for there to be any consequences. And the media is covering it like it's any other political story. Like it's all horse race.

I know. First of all, that's not how the media is covering it. They're covering it just as crazy as you are right now. Yeah. It's just nobody cares now at this point because it's that bad. And this guy who's a shield for Pfizer, by the way, here at Pfizer, we've come up with a way to blend two people you love into your most favorite person of all time. We took Stephen Colbert and surgically inserted Keith Olbermann's DNA. Okay.

creating Colberman. That's right. Everything you want in a panicking shit lib. Now with an extra feature, the whining, stressed out urgency of Rob Reiner added in for good measure. And that's what this is. You want to watch it without me stopping? Let's watch. I know, I know.

I know how numb we've become, but it's not normal. No other candidate for the presidency has ever had to pause his campaign to defend himself in multiple courts. And I would like to point out that in all seven of his cases, no one, no one doubts that he did these things. We're just sitting around patiently waiting to find out if the wheels of justice will grind fast enough for there to be any consequences. And the media is covering it like it's any other political story, like it's all horse race. I know.

I know how... I think he meant horse shit. Everybody I talk to doubts this. I don't know who... So, of course, he gets... Yeah, Eugene Garrel is real reliable. Right? His classified document thing? He's the president of the United States. The president decides what's classified and what isn't. What does the law say? You got to store it next to your sweet cherry Corvette? Yeah, so apparently if you're like Joe Biden and you take classified documents and you put it in your garage next to your Corvette, that's okay.

You know, I had a friend say, because I was like, well, what... This is crazy, though, right? I mean, can you believe... He has no one in his life. Look, he's not funny. So his writers, imagine the writer. I know everybody thinks these guys are like comedians, but they're really just hollow vehicles that a writer puts jokes into. Yes. And Colbert's an actor, so he was funny on, like, Stranger with Candy. Really funny, because it was funny writing. If you give him good jokes, but he's not taking good jokes, now this is the real Steven. Yeah. The awful actor. This is the real Steven. And they've...

This is what all that stupid cancel bullshit did. They filtered out anyone that could tell you anything opposite from your bubble. And New York...

Every time Russ was here, we were both. New York is dumber. I can't believe it's dumber than L.A. by a mile. By a mile. OK, I never thought I would say that. It's the most. And that's because they push out everybody that isn't very rich or poor. There's no middle in New York whatsoever now. So all these rich people could just sit like Bill Maher. You know, Bill Maher doesn't know there's a problem here. He thinks the economy is great. We won COVID. Yeah. It's a bunch of Bill Maher's there. Yeah. Yeah.

Without the comedy to not be woke. And it's funny, like, you know how, and I'm not comparing myself to Lenny Bruce, but it makes me feel good that there are theaters, and especially in shit-lib heaven Brooklyn, that won't book me. Theaters, I sold out their theater three, four times before. They won't even return my email now because of my politics, because they're on the wrong side of history.

That sucks because they really care about that a lot. I've heard people bring right side of, that's like liberal heaven, I guess, the right side of history. That's where you go when you die. Yeah. To the good part of it. But they're on the wrong side of history. They're on the wrong side of Julian Assange. They're on the wrong side of lockdowns. They're on the wrong side of mandating experimental medical treatments. They're on the wrong side of authoritarianism. They're on the wrong side of war. They're on the wrong side of war. That's why they have to win.

because those are the shit down. Yeah, they know that they're not on the right side of history unless they win because that's who writes history. That's right. And so we just came back from a shithole of a place called Washington Hall in Seattle. What a shithole. And the people who run it are demented fucking criminals in Seattle of all places in Seattle. Yes. Where they did have an insurrection. Remember somebody took over. You know what they did? You know what they did? You want to hear you want to hear a real crime? Crime?

They have 200 seats in their theater. You know how many tickets they sold? 530 for my show. Okay. So people showed up, but they didn't have seats for them. They did like a plane, like an airline? And so they made people stand around the sides of the room and upstairs in the balcony and stand and stand. And I said, what are you doing?

They go, let's first come first. First of all, they all were wearing masks. They're all wearing masks. Washington Hall. Don't ever go to Washington Hall in Seattle. That'd be my advice.

Those people are demented mania. The worst things about liberalism are the people who are at Washington Hall in Seattle. Yeah, that's the Mad Max. You know what they referred to? They hated that. So most of my my shows on the road, people put tables up for Julian Assange outside and they give out flyers and they take people's names and stuff.

They they hated those people. The people who ran Washington Hall hated the Julian Assange people. They called them people who who are sticking up for a hacker. I had they called him a hacker.

That's what they said. They called Julian Assange a hacker. Even even shit lives that. Wait a minute. Even shit lives at MSNBC are sticking up for Julian Assange, except that's how bad the people at Washington Hall in Seattle are. They call him a hack. They want him in prison and they think they're on the right side of history as they walk around with their masks in twenty twenty four.

and hate everything that's real. Why don't you just put on your mask? I'm not willing to accept that everything I've been told is a lie because that's what, those are the people, so those are the people we're dealing with. So I just want to give everybody a heads up in Seattle. Those people who run Washington Hall, criminal, they sold 530 tickets. There was only 200 seats. It says it on their website.

There's only 200 seats. Oh, but Jimmy, only 15 to 20% don't show up at Seattle shows. That's what they told me. You're still overshooting it. You still had 200 elks or people there who didn't get a seat. Didn't Trump get a prosecution for this kind of fraud? And I got on stage and I told people, you should sue this place. Yeah. You should sue this place for your money back.

And so I hope people are. But wait, since when is Seattle like supposed? I always had a great time in Seattle. But since when would they be? I went to the triple door. It's a great place. But when would they be anti-hacking? I've never heard of all the places. Of all the places that would be against Seattle. First of all, Julian Assange is not a hacker. He got that information from Chelsea Manning. Chelsea Manning was the one who got that information. A trans woman, by the way. And then a trans woman and then gave it to Julian Assange.

So it's very much like the, it's not even as bad as the Pentagon Papers because Daniel Ellsberg was actually an insider who did. Yeah, right. And you never, anyway, so that's the kind of shit that's happening. I just wanted to say that. I wanted to get that out there. In fairness, they should, I mean, Seattle's kind of filthy now. You might want to wear a mask just for other reasons. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, and what's happened to Stephen Colbert? Wow. Wow.

Wow. Listen, improv people are dipshits. What do you want? We all know it.

I've known it ever since I was in comedy. The most like herd mentality cows in all of comedy. - Are improv people? - Are improv people because improv lessons are expensive and it's usually some dipshit rich kid, especially in Brooklyn. And so they don't even have the mentality of any kind of independence or business or whatever. I mean, they inherit a lot and that's when you get, that's when all this like, comedy is not diverse. I'm like, yes, in your very wealthy white circles of improv, I'm sure it's not.

In every other kind of comedy, it's not like that. So Bono, first of all, look how beautiful that stage is. How do we get a stage like that? That is unbelievable. So he's on stage and Bono is like the, he is the culmination of an establishment tool.

So he wears a leather jacket. I'm sure it's vegan. It's pleather. And he wears sunglasses everywhere. And he talks about peace and loving each other as he props up the war machine. Because that's what he's doing. You want to see it? Here it is. So important that Alexei Navalny chose to give his up. Apparently Putin would never ever say his name. So...

Bono is doing pro-war propaganda right now. That's what that is. Just like Cornel West did when he praised Navalny. Navalny is an actual Nazi, is an actual white supremacist. No, he's reformed. He's an actual... It's complicated. And he's a CIA asset. Well, MI6, same difference, I guess. No, CIA and MI6. Five eyes in general. He's Western intelligence asset.

And then you get this guy to prop him up. Why? Because they want to do more war against Russia. And so what he's doing now is pro-war propaganda. That's what Bono's doing as he wraps it in peace. We want peace. And how do we do it? By getting you to hate Russia more and Putin more so you'll be for the wars.

That's what this is. I know people don't like Bono, but can I just say fuck the edge too? I don't think he gets trashed enough. That guy with the beanie on. Oh, is that who that is? Yeah, play the blues edge. Okay, here we go. So I thought tonight, people who believe in freedom, we must... If you believe in freedom... The freedom to say no to your goddamn album on my goddamn phone I didn't want? With a guy blowing on another guy's belly on the cover? Say his name.

Not just remember it, but say it. Alexei Navalny. Oh my God. Alexei Navalny. Alexei Navalny.

Pol Pot. Pol Pot. Idi Amin. Idi Amin. Dali Lama. Herman Goring. Herman Goring. Julian Assange. What? Whoops. Whoops. No, you tricked us. Get him. Well, Putin's got the same policy as Bono has about saying Julian Assange, like not saying his name ever. You mean the same exact thing that Putin did with Navalny? Idi Amin.

He's turned his rock show into an irrational hate fest of Russia. I don't understand how there's young people at this show. Is that his kids? I don't... You tell me. Who the fuck enjoys U2 that's below the age of, I don't know, 65? You gotta be AARP to be into this. You gotta be pretty successful to afford a front row ticket to a U2 show or to give a remote shit about Alexei Navalny. Yeah.

Imagine how rich you are to care about Alexi Navalny. I mean, I'm one of those people that owns nothing and I've never been happier like a real Davos man, so I can't afford it. But I understand people are really into it. I don't believe those young people there. There's something up with that. So I like this guy. MI6 agent shouting out the name of a deceased fascist CIA agent, Navalny, while supporting genocide and...

and staying silent on the imprisoning and persecution of journalist Julian Assange for revealing war crimes. So he doesn't do a chant about Julian Assange. Isn't that interesting? No, Iraq was a good thing. Yeah. As was Afghanistan. They're better off than when we got there, and they're really grateful to us and to the great work of Bono. You know, I think Bono actually was probably spreading AIDS now. I used to think he was against it. I used to think he was fighting it. Who's an MI6 agent? Bono.

Wow, that's like if James Bond was an elderly Irish woman in leather pants. So here he is. He's going to sing in favor of Israel's genocide in Gaza. You think I'm kidding? Again, he couches in as if he's there propping up the victims. He's there propping up the genociders. Wasn't he anti-apartheid South Africa, but he's good with this one? Yeah. Oh, boy.

What's happened in Israel and Gaza, a song about nonviolence seems somewhat ridiculous, even laughable. But our prayers have always been for peace and for nonviolence. Except when I prop up the war in Ukraine and I prop up the hatred of Russia to do more war. And now I'm going to sing a song that props up the genocide in Gaza. Watch this.

But our hearts and our anger, you know what that's pointed to. So sing with us. And those beautiful kids about the music festival. He's going to sing about those beautiful kids at the music festival taking place right across the street from a concentration camp. Well, I mean, it seems almost laughable to talk about peace right now, so I get it.

Remember that music festival? Could you imagine going to a music festival that's across the street from a concentration camp? I mean, I didn't know, you know, not outside of Germany. They like raves in concentration camps. So watch this. So it's not bad enough that he supports the genocide in Gaza. He's now going to sing a song about Martin Luther King that they're going to repurpose as

To be about October 7th. He's going to do an Elton John, Princess Diana. Watch this. Oh my God. Talk about cultural appropriation. Watch this. Early morning, October 7th. Uh-huh. As the sun is rising in the desert sky.

Stars of David, they took your life, but they could not take your pride. Wait, hold on. Even if they got shot by the IDF, I would lose some of my pride if I was one of those beautiful kids that accidentally got shot by my own dumbass troops. Could not take your pride. Could not take your pride. Could not take...

So he just kicked to the curb the man that this song used to be about. Sorry, pal, but the place is going condo, so we got to toss you out. Wait, was it about? And the name of love is supposed to be about love for your fellow man and not love for your oppressor. Was it about Mandela? Whatever they have on you guys, just let it happen. This is completely your fault. That's right. We are blaming you, too.

Was it Mandela? That was about Mandela, wasn't it, that song? Not so Mandela? I could have sworn it was. Because he would talk about Bishop Desmond Tutu is tired of waiting for the West. Maybe that wasn't, yeah. So he's actually inverted the song. I thought it was, maybe it wasn't Martin Luther King. It doesn't matter. He's inverting it.

That's incredible. That's incredible. That's like satanic. Wow. And here's what Roger Waters has to say about it. Anybody who knows Bono should go and pick him up by his ankles and shake him until he stops being a gentle...

S-H-I-T. You know, we have to start speaking to these people and saying, your opinion is so disgusting and degrading when you stand up for the Zionist entity. What he did in the sphere in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago, singing about the stars of David, was one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in my life.

Are you not familiar with the band U2? Anybody who... And why do you think... So, Roger Waters is calling out Bono for bowing to the killers. Yeah, no shit. Of course Bono will say that he was speaking in defense of all people everywhere, but it's not what... That's...

It's everything that he's not acknowledging, too. He's not acknowledging Julian Assange. He's not acknowledging that Alexei Navalny was a Nazi. He's not acknowledging that Israel is committing a genocide in Gaza. I mean, you would think Bono would at least have mentioned the kids getting killed. And it's about, of course, 20,000 to what, 1,600? Yeah. They're using Bono like a bumper on their car to protect them in traffic. That's what the establishment is doing.

I mean, how out of touch could you be that you think Bono is like the way into the hearts of the kids? Good for Roger Waters. Be more like Roger Waters and less like Bono. Who is like Bono? Be more like... Those assholes at that concert...

Actually are those kids there's no fucking way that that concert was filled that is cameras on those young people for very specific propaganda reasons No one that young is super into you too. Okay. I don't believe it at all Sorry to be all Taylor Swift sigh. Oh really? No kidding, right? Who the fuck would be that is Bono, right? There's not look it's only like old like sorry. How old is Bono?

He's 63 years old. He's older than me. Okay, people my age don't ever bring up liking Bono. Okay? I'm 46. That's pretty old in the world of the kids. Those were like Zoomers in that front row. One of them's got to be his daughter or something.

Or they're planted. Oh, they're planted. I'm sure there's some kind of payoff where he does a little switcheroo. He also got knighted not that long ago. Yeah, of course. I mean, it's over. Yeah, he was all like Ireland, you know, Bloody Sunday. Now he's all British Empire. He's all about it now. So Trump said he wants to take the Venezuelan...

Listen to what he says. How about we're buying oil from Venezuela? When I left, Venezuela was ready to collapse. We would have taken it over. We would have gotten all that oil. It would have been right next door. So this is the crimes that they should be prosecuting him for. None of these doesn't even come up. We're going to take it over. We're going to take over another country and steal the oil. We're going to take the country is ready to collapse. We're going to take the oil.

Oh, that really is the ultimate crime is saying the thing that we're doing. Just in case you need a reminder that we don't have any good guys in the game. We just have one funny guy. Right. So he wants Venezuela to collapse, which is why they're sanctioning Venezuela and why they tried to overthrow it with Juan Guaido. And why they're busing them into your cities and they're staying in your schools that your kids go to.

This is what's literally forcing immigration from Venezuela to the United States. Think about that. Like, Trump's the guy who's going to do something at the border. He was trying to help collapse Venezuela. We have a flood of Venezuelans now. That's right. Millions. Nobody's going to connect those things. They're going to go, well, yeah. So, once again, we have the choice of the guy who says, yes, I'm evil, and the other guy who says, what are we talking about? I'm good. Yeah.

And maybe Gavin Newsom at some point. 7.3 million Venezuelans left their country since 2014. This is the largest exodus in Latin America's recent history and one of the largest displacement crisis in the world. That's as of February of last year. Well, you know the best place to get sudden immigration, mass immigration from? A country that you just fucked up, filled with people that might have a bit of a grudge. I mean, could you blame them? You fucked their country up and then they bust them in. You think they're going to respect the police and such?

Trump should make hats. Make Satan great again. There's so many reasons not to like Trump. Yeah. And the Democrats don't bring up any of them. No. Well, they have the same views. They just want him to say it. That's right. They bring up the stuff you're supposed to like him for. Like he didn't want to fund the Ukraine war. Right. He doesn't want to have World War III with Russia or maybe China. Maybe he does. I don't know about how. He didn't want to lock down hard enough.

Venezuela crisis. Maduro claims victory over deranged coup attempt. The president blames Trump's imperialists and coup mongering far right as rival Ron Guaido calls for more protests. That's from 2019. Juan Guaido, who now lives lives there in Venezuela and gets his ass kicked by the public on a regular basis. Not in prison. They let him just move back there. I couldn't believe it when I saw it.

Because he's the rightful ruler of Venezuela, according to Trump. And Nancy Pelosi didn't tear nothing up for that. She applauded. She applauded that. Yeah. I like how they put deranged in quotes. Yeah. As if the coup makes sense. Were they implying it was a ranged coup? Yeah, it was ranged. So it's weird also that Trump would fund a coup in Venezuela during the latter part of his presidency.

when the country was on the brink of collapse anyway. Yeah. And that the coup that he funded failed so miserably. I mean, the Bay of Pigs was an embarrassment, but when they're called the Bay of Piglets, that's not as good. Yeah.

He really said that the USA's quiet, decade-old MO out loud. That's right. That's another reason why they don't want Trump, because he tells you the truth about our foreign policy. The boards are right out. Here it is. We're keeping the oil. We have the oil. The oil is secure. We left troops behind only for the oil. That's why they can't have him, because he tells you the truth about our foreign policy.

He thinks he's just talking to his base and his voters and the donor. He's actually talking to the entire world and the entire world. Here's the president of the United States. Give away the reason for our foreign policy for the last 75 years. What is it? We're keeping the oil. We have the oil. The oil is secure. We left troops behind only for the oil.

So that's why the Democrats could talk about hating him, but the Democrats are on board with that. They love that Trump kept troops in Syria to take the oil. They love that Trump tried to do a coup in Venezuela so we could steal their oil. This is all about oil, again. And the things you're supposed to hate Trump for, they don't. I wonder if Trump realizes that he answered his own question about why do we keep having immigrants from shithole countries?

Because we take their oil, we got their oil, we're keeping their oil. It shouldn't be a mystery to you how this keeps happening. His real crime is acknowledging America's crimes. You're not supposed to. You're supposed to say we're leaving troops in Syria for liberty and freedom and to fight back against authoritarian dictators. That's what you're supposed to say. See, because you're supposed to do it the way that is disrespectful to you, the chump at home's intelligence, not the way that's disrespectful to the bullshit...

freedom the freedom uh coalition caucus and all these like names that have like freedom in the title and they're all just stealing oil so if you want to know why there's all these immigrants here it's because guy trump is agreeing with the policy of destabilizing central south american countries creating refugees and then they come here that's why they're sanctioning the shit out of venezuela that's why they sanctioned cuba

That's why everywhere they put sanctions, it turns people into migrants and refugees, and then they come here. And then they lower your wages. And they lower your, that's right. So it's not their fault. It's, again, the United States' fault. Look at all the goddamn 7.3 billion Venezuelans. I hope people feel patriotic watching this. That's right. This is why the Democrats should hate him. But the Democrats don't hate him because of this. The media doesn't hate him because of this. Because they all agree with this.

How about we're buying oil from Venezuela? When I left, Venezuela was ready to collapse. We would have taken it over. We would have gotten all that oil. It would have been right next door.

He just says the quiet part out loud. Make America great. We're imperialists. We come, we invade smaller, weaker countries, and we take their natural resources, and we give it to Western companies. By the way, the oil wouldn't go to American citizens. The oil would go to Western corporations that would then charge you for it. Who would then work to coup Trump out of office, by the way. That's right.

Like, it's so, it actually is hilarious. This really is a funny-ass country. Here's why you, here's why the Democrats should hate Trump. Here's why they should criticize him. And of course they don't, because they agree with it. Same thing in Syria. Hey, this is Jimmy. Who's this? Jimmy, this is Jimmy. This is President Joe Biden. Hi, hey, Mr. How you doing?

I'll be honest with you, Jimmy. I am dragging. Still recovering from yesterday. What happened yesterday? What the hell do you mean what happened yesterday? Yesterday was President's Day. Oh, you were celebrating President's Day? What the hell do you think, shit for brains? I'm the fucking president. It was my day.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Well, lots of people honor President's Day, Mr. President. It's a national holiday. People get the day off. There are mattresses sales. Well, they're not supposed to be doing that. It's a holiday for presidents only. That shit pisses me off. Are you going to take off Yom Kippur, too? So you think that President's Day is just for presidents, like it's your birthday or something?

That's exactly what the fuck it is. That's why I got a cake and everybody sang to me. Did all the traditional President's Day stuff. Sang to you? What did they sing? Sing what? Are you some kind of straight up moron? They sang Happy President's Day, Mr. President. There's no such song like that. How the hell would you know? You've never been president of shit. Okay, how does it go?

Happy President's Day, Mr. President. You are our favorite president. We couldn't do without our president. Now tell your wish to a muskrat. How come I've never heard this before? Well, it's an old song. Of course, like happy birthday, but somehow Gene Simmons ended up with the publishing rights, so it can't really be recorded. Also, muskrat? Did I hear that right? Yeah, of course.

They sing a song, then they let out the President's Day muskrat. President's Day muskrat? Do you have shit in your ears or something? That's what I said. It's like Punxsutawney Phil. They let out little Captain Brown paws out of his cage. He's got a little top hat on, and then the President of the United States goes and whispers a little wish into his ear, and then hopefully it comes true. What did you wish for? Well, if I tell you, it won't come true, will it now? Oh, God.

Also, that would be disrespectful. He's dead. We got to get a new muskrat. What? What happened? Well, after I told him my wish, you know, my dogs got sight of him waddling around the rose garden. And man, they just tore him apart like jackals. It was fucking carnage, man. We tried to pull them away, but they were just too intent on killing that little fucker. I'm sorry to hear that. That happens. What other traditions are there?

Well, of course, there's your traditional turtle suit that we all have, you know. And then for the kids, there's the portobello mushroom hunt on the White House lawn. And man, they have fun just throwing those things around like frisbees, catching them in their mouth. Man, these rugrats were just stuffed with portobello at the end of the day, sick to their stomachs from eating one of the meatier mushrooms. And then there's, of course, the presidential shoe toss. What's that?

Well, the president takes his left shoe off, turns his back to the crowd and tosses it over his shoulder. And whoever the shoe hits gets to be president next. Who did your shoe hit yesterday? You don't want to know. Yes, I do.

Amy Klobuchar. But don't worry, it hit her right in the face. And she threw it into one of her razors and she took the shoe and flung it back at me. So that disqualifies you. So we have to wait until next year. Wow, I must admit that I didn't know about any of this.

Very few people do. And let me tell you, as far as this secret shit that goes on at the highest levels of power, this is by far the least weird. Yeah, I would imagine. I would imagine so.

You know what? I'm going to go ahead and tell you my wish. Okay. It can't hurt. Jimmy, I wish for world peace. Oh. I whispered to that little furry son of a bitch, bring me world peace, Captain Brown Paws. You know, you're actually in a position to make that happen in real life. Eh, not really. No, you are. You are sending aid and armaments to Israel so they can do ethnic cleansing in Gaza. You could stop that. Just one example.

My hands are tied. Yeah. The only person who could possibly make that happen was a muskrat who is now dead. Kind of depressing if you think about it. It would probably be the main thing going on in me right now if I weren't full of about three quarts worth of turtle soup that's just sloshing around inside of me. I gotcha. A situation, I might add, that's going nowhere good and fast. Trust me, this isn't my first President's Day.

Anyway, I should probably get going. The White House is still kind of trashed, and my dogs have got that taste of blood in them, so they're kind of dangerous right now. A lot of things require my attention. You're a good egg, Jimmy Dore. And if you know any reputable muskrat breeders, you know, give me a shout. All right, sir. Happy President's Day, Mr. President.

Hey, become a premium member. Go to JimmyDoreComedy.com. Sign up. It's the most affordable premium program in the business. All the voices performed today are by the one and only, the inimitable Mike McRae. He can be found at MikeMcRae.com. That's it for this week. You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.

Do not freak out.