How To Breakthrough Fear, Access Your Greatness and Change Your Life Today! You’re One Decision Away, With Ed Mylett
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- Wow, we're going there today, aren't we? - This is so, so, so good. - This is really good. - Whether it's linking it to your good intentions. - Yes. - Your good intentions. - That's right. - Woo! - And we keep things so far away. That's a great lie. The truth is, you're one decision away from change. You're one new relationship. You're one podcast. - I feel like we are unlearning the lies today. Like knocking them down.

Whoa, whoa. I've never been asked that one. Wow, wow, wow. Okay. Love is greater than your fears. It's the one thing in your life that's greater than your fears or your emotions or the setbacks. But you're most qualified in your life to help the person you used to be.

And so ironically, God uses your mistakes or your averageness, whatever you think it is, to qualify you to help other people that are just like you. Ever since I heard you say this, I think about this all the time. I know you speak in sold out stadiums around the world and we are so fancy here. We greet you with... It breaks my heart that most people don't understand if they were to look back at their life, most of the beautiful experience of their life came after something painful. Thank you, Jamie.

That's probably the greatest gift I've ever been given. Such promise and potential and you got up that one time and the next time you got up, but then you didn't. And you quit on your dreams, you quit on your family, you quit on your potential, you quit on your emotions and your memories. And so many people unfortunately have quit and my message would be you could still get up. It's not too late. I quit getting up because I was scared. I was scared I wasn't enough.

I was scared this was too big for me. I was scared of what other people were going to think about me. And I was more afraid than I loved my family, than I loved the people around me. And I gave into my fears rather than embracing the love. And I don't want that to ever happen. I want when my life ends for me to go, I love the people around me enough to keep getting up. That that love was bigger than how afraid I was.

And I think what ends up happening if we don't get there someday, we don't have the emotions we deserve to have, the memories we deserve to have, the life we deserve to have, it will be because we were afraid. And the more I become familiar with your work, we're afraid we're not worthy enough. We're afraid we're just not worth it. And I don't want that to happen. So I just remind myself that my love for the people around me is greater than how afraid I am. Yeah, and they're worth it.

I had like full chills. Like full chills. Is that when you see a really happy family or even like a rich family, somewhere back in their lineage, they weren't. They weren't. Until the one shows up. And in every family, there's a one.

there's the one and that one person changes a family lineage forever and in my family i'm the one my dad set the table with the change he made by getting sober but i'm the one who got up early i'm the one who everyone thought was crazy that everyone criticized i'm the one who stopped hiding to quote you in plain sight i the hits i'm the one who people rejected i'm the one who had to carry the emotional burden of changing our family

And it's so worth it because my nieces and nephews, they don't think like I thought when I grew up. They've got dreams and ambitions and they believe in themselves and they're good people and they contribute. I'm proud of the fact. And so if you're listening to this, if it even affects you at all, just a little bit in your body, you get a little butterflies or a little bit of emotion, or even if you think it's not me.

That means it is you. You're the one. You are the one in your family. You vibrate at a very low frequency when you think negatively of yourself and when you don't believe good things about yourself or when you're acting in a way that's not congruent with who you really are. And so in a moment, you can decide, I'm going to operate in truth. And the truth is you were born to do something great with your life.

All of you were. You were born to do something awesome with your life in big ways and small ways. That is the truth. That is the truth. And so now we're operating at a high frequency level. This is like breakthrough. Because when you believe that to be true about yourself, your whole vibration raises. You're in your power. Yes. So I got to tell you, so...

Before we jump into this episode, I'd love to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews and one-on-one conversations with me and you to help you truly believe in yourself, trust yourself, and know you are enough so that you can become unstoppable in living your best life

I love your support. It's incredible to see your comments and how many of you are sharing these episodes with everyone else. And I'm just so grateful to be here for you and I'm so excited to go on this journey with you. It means so much to me. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief.

And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me.

If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you.

If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And

And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love,

Unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth.

Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.

He's been named the top performance and mindset coach in the world by USA Today. He's a renowned global entrepreneur, a best-selling author, host of The Ed Milet Show, which is now one of the fastest growing and most successful podcasts on the planet.

He goes from sharing hardcore winning life and business strategies with his millions of followers online to having full out conversations with his three Pomeranians, Daisy, Lily, and Rose on Instagram. He is one of the very few people on the planet I call when I need to be reminded of the greatness that's in me on the days I am tempted to forget it.

And today he is going to ignite the greatness that is in you. He is one of my dear friends. And today he's here to be one of yours.

I am so excited for this episode. Me too. Ed Milet, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. I am honored to be here and I love you. So thank you for having me. I love you. I'm glad we're gonna record what our normal conversations are today. I know. We were talking, like we have the most life-changing conversations. We do. And now we're just gonna invite the one person watching or listening us in. I gotta tell you. In the conversation. I just wanna say this to you before we start. You're a blessing in my life.

And I'm so grateful that God brought you into my life many years ago. And I don't know where I would be without you. So I just want to let you know that upfront. I love you.

Are you here on my show to make me cry? No, I don't want anyone to cry. To make me cry today? Oh, I love you. Thank you. Well, I am so excited because I just think of the one person watching and listening today who I know in every ounce of my being that this episode is going to be for. That is the thing I'm the most excited about.

For the person trying to overcome addiction or hold their marriage or relationship together or maintain hope during a season of setback, Ed, can you talk about what you call the power of one more? Yeah. Well, I learned that from my dad, as you know, but my dad was an alcoholic. And so when I was growing up until I was 15,

And then we were driving to a little league game. He was taking me to a little league game one morning and my light changed my life. My dad was not a crier. He's a man's man type of guy. You didn't think you're supposed to cry, which obviously I violate all the time. And he pulls the car over on the way to the game and he wouldn't look at me, Jamie, at first. And he started to talk without looking at me. And he just says, Eddie, I'll never forget this. I'm going to get, I'm going to try to get sober one more time. That was the first time I ever heard that before. And he said,

And I remember saying, "Daddy, what would be any different this time? You've tried before." And he said, "Because this time I'm gonna do it because I love you." And I'd never, it makes me, I don't know why he'd do that to me. I don't remember ever hearing my dad say that prior to that time, ever. And he got emotional and I got emotional. And he said, "I'm gonna try one more time." And then when he went away and he came back, I said, "Daddy, are you never gonna drink again?"

And he said, I can't promise you that, Eddie. What I can promise you is I'm not going to drink for one more day at a time. And those days stacked up for the remaining 35 years of his life. He never had another drink. So what I learned out of that was two things. One was the power of trying something one more time and the value of that. The other thing I learned for people that are going through those things is my dad linked that effort to love.

Because love is greater than your fears. It's the one thing in your life that's greater than your fears or your emotions or the setbacks. Love is the greatest gift we have in our life. And the power of how much he loved me and our family was greater than his addiction. And if you can begin to link these difficult times you have to the love you have for another person or even your pet, like your Pomeranians, like me, then you've got a superpower in you.

And when we don't have that linkage is when we're weaker. And if you think about a good person, a good person, you usually won't do a whole lot for yourself.

but you'll do a whole lot for people that you love. Usually most good people will do more for people that they love and that they care about than they ever would for themselves. And so if you're that type of person, if you're gonna find your way out of whatever situation, you've gotta link it to the people that you love and make your greatest effort on their behalf. And that's what my dad did with One More. Yeah. - And it worked. - It worked, yeah. We're here today because of it. The other thing I learned, it's interesting, I know I've told you this privately, but the other thing we do as human beings is we discount ourselves.

You know, we think, well, I'm not qualified to help other people because, you know, I've got this mistake I've made or I've been divorced or I've always been average and ordinary. Why would I ever do something great with my life? You know, and I think we do that. We use our failures as weapons against ourselves or even our sins and our mistakes. And I know I've done that before. And so after I wrote The Power of One More, something, it literally changed my existence. I woke up one night, my wife, Christiana, and I was crying.

She goes, babe, what's wrong? I said, someone helped dad. Someone helped dad. She goes, what? My dad and father had already passed away. I'd already written the book. She goes, what? I said, I never thought about this. Someone helped dad when he was going to take his own life. Someone helped my dad get sober. My dad's life changed because some precious human being stepped forward and said, I can help you. I can help you.

And that person doesn't know it, but they changed my life. The ripple effect of helping one human being, one person in your life, that power of one more person you help is magnificent. And they don't know, whoever they are, that I'm his son. And I've been blessed to reach millions of people. That act of helping this one man. And my dad was going to take his life. This one man in his time of greatest need.

Changed my life and changed a lot of other people's lives and Mike says like wow, that's amazing I said that's not even the most amazing part the most amazing part of it is what Qualified whoever this person is to help my dad cuz I didn't know who they were at the time She said I don't know I said well it wasn't that they were perfect or how smart they were how amazing they've been in life What qualified them was at one time they were an alcoholic. They were a drug addict. They were lying They were living in the shadows. They were ashamed of

And actually, that's what helped them connect with my dad. Because as you know, we have a mutual friend who talks about this all the time, but you're most qualified in your life to help the person you used to be. And so ironically, God uses your mistakes or your averageness, whatever you think it is, to qualify you to help other people that are just like you. And so that's the extension of the power of one more. That man, I found out who he is now.

changed my entire life and he didn't know it just because he stepped forward and was qualified to help my dad and that qualification was his mistakes not his perfection yeah yeah yeah so

So many of us, we think we need to hide our past mistakes. We should be shameful of them. And so many people are searching for their purpose. And they think maybe it's going to come through their job or through some great act that the world celebrates. But you talk about that God can use your pain

right? For good. And can you talk about that? Because a lot of people are searching for their purpose and you think about how this one person helped your dad who then... I think probably, I've thought a lot about this for me too, and you, because you and I talk about this a lot. If you can survive pain, temporary pain in your life, and all pain is temporary, everything's temporary except our souls. If you can survive temporary pain, on the other side of that pain, you meet another version of you.

There's some characteristics, some learning, some lessons, some emotion, some understanding that God gives you for your pain if you survive it. So I've actually looked at, I think people that are happy and successful, to some extent they develop a different relationship with pain than people who just only suffer through it. And so I'm going through something even right now, as you know today, that's pretty uncomfortable and painful.

But what I keep reminding myself is, the cool part about it is once this is over, I get another version of me out of it. And that lesson that I'll learn,

God's gonna use for me to qualify with somebody else is gonna go through some form of pain So I really look at pain much differently in life as it can I don't want it in my life I would prefer to not have any but I'm also a realist after 52 years like I look at a pattern in my life I go through painful things and so to most people and I think your relationship with it or your belief about what it means can change everything and give you the give you the faith give you the confidence give you the strength to persevere through pain and I

It breaks my heart that most people don't understand. If they were to look back at their life, most of the beautiful experiences of their life came after something painful. And so I would just recommend anybody, if you're going through it right now, my prayer for you is that you have the wisdom to know it's temporary. This soon will pass. This too will pass. But on the other side of it, there's a gift waiting for you if you look for it. What you just said is so powerful in the fact that

in the midst of your pain on the other side of it is a new version of you. And just for everybody listening right now, I wasn't even planning to ask you this, but it reminded me of something that you have shared. I've seen you share this in stadiums where everyone just starts sobbing because this is such a powerful concept. But when we think about

the things that we go through and that other version of us waiting on the other side. Can you talk about...

how you envision meeting the version of you one day that you were born to be. This is a story for everyone listening right now, because ever since I heard you say this, I think about this all the time. I think about this all the time. Can you share this? Because listen up, everybody. Well, I do too. I think about it all the time. Maybe I'm weird in the sense that I like to think about the end of my life. It's okay with me to think about that. Because it gives me perspective on what matters now.

And so to me, when you pass away, I mean, in my faith as a Christian, all I really want is the Lord to go, hey, well done, good and faithful servant. Get your butt in here. You know, that's what I want. But having said that, whatever your faith is, I think that you meet who you could have been. I think you get introduced to the ultimate version of you.

And so- Like when you pass, you get to heaven, whatever you believe. I think when you, yeah, I do. I think when you get to heaven, this is my hallucination that the Lord's gonna go, this is who I made you to be. Meet her, meet him. And in my opinion, when I get there, I wanna be identical twins. I wanna get everything out of my life. I say, max out your life. I wanna become that person. And to me, heaven-

A form of heaven for me would be that when I get there, we're identical twins. I say, man, I've been chasing you all my life. All my life I've been chasing you. And for the ultimate me to look back and go, man, I was watching you. And you know what? You fell down that one time. I don't know if you're going to get up. And man, you blew it in that chapter. You completely screwed that one up. But you know what? You kept getting up. You kept getting up. You kept getting up and learning that lesson and improving and growing. And then you'd have another setback. And then you thought you had it figured out. And then you don't.

And you know what? You got here, you did it. You did it. You maxed out your life. You had all the emotions you were supposed to experience. You made all the memories. You made the difference in the world. You felt and lived life the way you were supposed to, the way you were born to have it. And for me, that's heaven. Hell would be the reverse, which is I get there and we're total strangers. That at some point he goes, I saw you and you had such promise and potential and you got up that one time and the next time you got up,

But then you didn't. And you quit on your dreams. You quit on your family. You quit on your potential. You quit on your emotions and your memories. And so many people, unfortunately, have quit. And my message would be, you can still get up. It's not too late, right? It's not too late. Because to me, it would be hell to go. We're total strangers. And when I look at that version of me where I don't get there,

I pictured the ultimate me saying to me, I've never said this to you before, but lately I've been picturing the ultimate me going, Ed, what happened? What happened? And I know what the answer would be if I don't become me. I know what would have held me back. And what I would have said was, and this is why your work with Worthy is so profound, by the way. What I would have said is I quit getting up because I was scared. I was scared I wasn't enough. I was scared this was too big for me.

I was scared of what other people were gonna think about me. And I was more afraid than I loved my family, than I loved the people around me. And I gave into my fears rather than embracing the love

And I don't want that to ever happen. I want when my life ends for me to go, I love the people around me enough to keep getting up. That that love was bigger than how afraid I was. And I think what ends up happening if we don't get there someday, we don't have the emotions we deserve to have, the memories we deserve to have, the life we deserve to have, it will be because we were afraid. And the more I become familiar with your work, we're afraid we're not worthy enough.

We're afraid we're just not worth it. And I don't want that to happen. So I just remind myself that my love for the people around me is greater than how afraid I am. Yeah. And they're worth it. They're worth it. I have like full chills, like full chills. And the person listening right now, dimming their light, doubting themselves out of their own destiny. What you just said is

I want the love for my family to be more than my fears. And you arriving to heaven, not becoming the person

that you were born to be or created to be is you saying, I let my fears be greater than my love for my family. I was literally driving here today, Jamie, and Christiana is in our garage doing some cleaning because I have her do all the manual labor in our house. I know that to be true. It actually is true. She has told me. She's told you that. But to long your point, because it's emotional for me, she sent me some pictures of my grandparents

And just was just driving up here today. And maybe she sent them to me because I'm having a rough day, you know, but one of them was of my papa and who I'm named after. I'm Edward Michael Joseph Milet III. And when I was a little boy, papa was the person that made me feel special. And what I would say to people listening or watching is when you were a little boy or a little girl, hopefully there was like that one person.

That when they would look at you, and if you did have that person picture their face right now, just when you were with them, they made you feel special. Like you were born to do something great with your life. You just felt something about you when you were around them.

And for me, it was my, my Papa, he would, he wasn't my dad at that time. It was his dad. I remember my grandfather would, Papa would pick me up on Sundays. We'd go get donuts for all my cousins before we'd go to church. And he had this blue van and he would pick me up and he was this big man to me, you know, and I would look at him as a little boy sitting in the seat. Finally, he let me sit in this passenger seat next to him. He was funny. He'd drive by people and honk and just wave at total strangers. And I thought Papa knew everybody, but, but he would look at me and he'd go, Eddie,

You were born to do something great with your life. You're the special one. You're awesome. I go, I am, Big Pop. He goes, you are. You're my favorite.

And he would always tell me I was his favorite. He had all these grandkids. I was the oldest one. And every time another grandkid was born, you'll get a kick out of this. I remember vividly he called me one time. He goes, "I was eight." He goes, "Eddie, your cousin Peter was born today. He's amazing. He's got our blue eyes." I said, "He does, Papa?" He goes, "He's incredible. Six pounds, seven ounces." He goes, "He's awesome." I go, "That's great."

You're my favorite. And he made me feel special. For most of us, maybe it was a coach or a teacher or an auntie or a grandparent or our mom or our dad. What I would just say to you about if they made you feel that way, you probably even get emotional when you think about them. If they're gone, especially what I would just tell you is they were right. They were right. If you had that person, they were right about you.

And maybe the rest of the world hasn't recognized it yet and treated you that way, but they knew. They knew. And if you have that person in your life, honor them with who you become. If they're here, do it so they can be proud of you. And if they're gone, honor them with a man or woman you're changing into. Because in my case, I'll remind myself, Papa was right.

- Papa was right. And even looking at that picture of him just an hour ago, as I was coming up here, just it made me feel something. And so, by the way, the cool thing about life is you could be that person in other people's lives if you wanted to be. You could be their papa by giving them the gift of your belief in them. And then you're contributing to people's worthiness by being that person. That's sort of what you and I kind of in a microcosm try to do with our own lives.

It's not that complicated to be me or you. I just love and believe in people and I try to find things in them that they know to be true about them and to let them know that's why they're worthy. That's why they're amazing. It's not that complicated to be that person. And talk about finding your purpose. Don't you find that when you know you've been that person, even if it's someone at Starbucks that you don't even know or someone at the gas station, you don't even know, whatever it is that you just, it's that soul filling thing and all you did was...

Yeah. For me, it's like almost a selfish act to believe in people because it makes me feel good about me. It makes me feel good. Almost like I'm doing, you know, cause I'm such an average person and a flawed person, but I do remind myself it's that averageness and those flaws that qualify me. And I don't know when I'm in that way, I feel like I'm the best version of me. Like I'm doing some form of God's work. Like I'm whispering God's words into them, not my own.

And I selfish because I feel good about me when I believe in other people and when I'm kind to people and extend belief in people. It's kind of makes me feel like that's my purpose. And you said something really important earlier that you and I talk about privately all the time. If you're looking for your purpose, you said it earlier. It's probably somewhere buried in some pain you've been through. Right. Like in your case.

the way you inspire people about their worthiness comes because there was so much of your life where you didn't feel that. There's so many experiences you've had overcoming really difficult times, even if you had progress, like when you were building your cosmetics company and people connect and relate to you because not just because you're this amazing soul, but because you found your purpose and all that pain you went through. It's a cool part of life once you discover that. I know, you know, you talked about, about

Your dad, your grandpa, your whole journey. And you talk about this idea of being the one in your family, right? And I know for so many people, and really just that one person listening right now, the one person listening right now who maybe doesn't have people around them that think the way they do or dream the way they do or...

Or they're just on this road where they're like, can I be the one to break a generational cycle? But the majority don't. The majority stay with what's comfortable, repeat cycles, want to feel love and belonging, and almost feel like if they are a little bit different or dream a little bit bigger, that something's wrong with them or that they don't fit in.

When in fact, they might be the one in their family. Can you share this idea? Because I know it is going to speak to someone's soul today. There's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life.

And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love,

Unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth.

Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief.

And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me.

If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you.

If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes.

And now more of this incredible conversation together. Well, like you're the one. You are. And so have I become the one. See, here's what's interesting. When you see like a really happy... I remember when I was a little boy, because of what was going on in my house, if we would go out or other families on our street, there would be these happy families. And I go, I wonder what it's like to be in a happy family. Not that my family didn't have joy. I don't want to overcook that, but...

There was stress. There was angst. If you grew up in a house where there was just that, I don't know, anxiety, right? And I remember like even in our neighborhood, the other kids were kind of afraid of my dad. They could hear my dad yelling, you know? And I remember seeing the other houses where the dad just seemed chill and calm and, you know, I don't know. Did your neighbors know your dad was alcoholic? I don't know if they knew he was an alcoholic, but I think they knew he was...

Loose, I guess is the way I would say it he could snap right? I don't think they probably connected it to alcohol But they definitely knew the my let house. There's some noise going on over there to put it mildly Yet you could see my dad other days and he was the coolest dad in the world But there were just those days where you're I don't know if any of you had that there's a sense of shame That comes with being a part of a dysfunctional family shame and worry and you know, I know what that's like and

and almost wish I was in another family. And I remember as a little boy, I had these, I had a couple of dreams. I was adopted, which ironically you were right. But I would have these dreams, like I was adopted, but my real family somewhere else and they're happy. And so I always wanted to see these families. And what I found out in my life as I got older is that when you see a really happy family or even like a rich family, somewhere back in their lineage, they weren't, they weren't until they

The one shows up. And in every family, there's a one. There's the one. And that one person changes a family lineage forever. It brings joy and bliss and peace and faith to a family when it lacked it before. Or it brings affluence and wealth and influence to a family when it lacked it before. And in every family, there's the one.

And in my family, I'm the one. My dad set the table by the change he made by getting sober, but I'm the one who got up early. I'm the one who everyone thought was crazy, that everyone criticized. I'm the one who stopped hiding, to quote you, in plain sight. I hid in plain sight. I know exactly what that means when it's in your work. It's one of the most profound things you speak about. I know what it's like to finally go, I'm not going to hide anymore.

And I'm not gonna believe that I'm crazy. And by the way, I think crazy people rule the world. I think crazy, unusual, weird people are the one. And so I'm the one who got up late. I'm the one who took the hits. I'm the one who people rejected. I'm the one who had to carry the emotional burden of changing our family.

And it's so worth it because my nieces and nephews, they don't think like I thought when I grew up. They've got dreams and ambitions and they believe in themselves and they're good people and they contribute. And I'm proud of the fact. And so if you're listening to this, if it even affects you at all, just a little bit in your body, you get a little butterflies or a little bit of emotion, or even if you think it's not me.

That means it is you. You're the one. You are the one in your family. And there's this great author named Broderick, and she calls the one, she calls it a generational character. Someone, a transitional character. They transition a family from a family that maybe didn't have faith or bliss and joy and love and laughter into one who does. A family with, you know, the world doesn't have their thumb on the Milette family anymore. We're calling the shots now. Mm-hmm.

We're going to get a decent education in our family. We're going to give to the world. We're going to contribute a little bit. The Milettes are going to do something awesome. And so if you're listening to this, you can be the one in your family. And all it really is, is seriously, it's just a shift. You have to jump up and down about it. It's just a decision.

You're one decision away. You talk about the power of one more. You truly are in your life. You are one decision away from completely transforming and changing your life. That's the benchmark. Now, it may not happen that day, but you're one decision away. And usually those decisions aren't made real loudly. It's just a, like for me, it's like a shift. It's like, you know what?

I'm gonna start walking a little different. I'm gonna start talking a little bit different. I'm gonna bow my shoulders back a little bit. You know what? I'm gonna be the one. I don't know when it's gonna happen, but it's gonna happen. And I'm very proud of the fact, I mean, there's not a lot of things I'm proud of in my life, but I'm proud of the fact that our family is different now. And if you're listening to this, you're the one. It's not by coincidence we're talking about this today. It's not by coincidence you listen to Jamie.

Anyone who's listening to you and is a part of this amazing show you have now, there's something about their soul that's stirred that they're like, I think it could be me. I hope it's me. Please let it be me. And if you have any of that in you, you're special. Not everybody goes through life like that. Not everybody cares. Not everybody wants to make a difference. And so if you have that, it's you.

It's you. You just need someone to tell you. So we're telling you you're the one. So let's do it. So yeah, that's the power of one more. It's the power of being the one. The one. When you share, I know this is a real personal thing, but growing up and hearing the keys in the door lock and going from that moment to deciding you're the one. You're trying to make me cry. I don't know why that makes me emotional because I talk about this, but...

Maybe because it's you, because I know the pain you had as a child too. I only really have two talents, truthfully. But they're good talents. And so one of them is I love people and I connect with people really well. And the other one is I'm a pretty good communicator. Beyond that, I don't bring a whole lot to the table. But they were born out of pain. And the main one is the pain of when my dad would come home after drinking.

And I would, you know, make sure that my mom and my sisters were going to be safe. And so I would literally, I would sit by the front door. And when my dad would come home, I could tell by the sound of the key made in the lock, whether he was drinking or not. I got to that point where if it went in really smooth, I've thought, okay, we're okay tonight. And if it kind of rattled a little bit, dad was probably going to be in a foul mood. And so I would wait for him to come through the door and I could hear the sound that key made. And I knew to this day,

When I hear a key hit a lock, there's a trigger in me to this day. My hotel I'm staying at right now, I didn't hear the housekeeper come and she was putting the key in the door by the time I heard it. And that even kind of triggers me. And so what would happen is my dad would walk through that front door and I would just start immediately reading him. What's his tie tied like? What's his body language? Can I smell any alcohol on him? How's he walking? Is his tie tied straight? And I began to read with him. I'd be fully present with my dad.

And that was the beginning of me being fully present with people. I didn't know that God was using that pain for those years of reading my dad to give me the skill to be somebody who's good in business at connecting or having a podcast and connecting because I'm so connected to people. And I loved my dad so much. I wanted him to be okay. And so that part of it is stayed with me forever. And it developed me. The main talent that I have in my life is the connection with people. And then once, if I figured out he was drinking, I'd have to talk.

to change his state. "Hey dad, how was your day?" "It was okay." I'd say, "Well, my day was great, daddy." "It was? What did you do?" "I got a 93 on my spelling test. I hit a home run in baseball. Where'd you hit it?" And I would change my dad's state by my talking and my communicating. And my goal was to get him away from the liquor cabinet and over to the couch because if he was going to the liquor cabinet, my dad's drink was Beefeater's gin. And I remember just, if I could get him away from there, everything was okay.

And what I didn't know as a little boy is God was using this pain for this little boy that I was going through to develop in me the two traits that I would use to help other people the rest of my life, my connecting with people, my ability to communicate. And so that's the perfect example of the temporary pain leading to you being the one.

And then I think what happened was I just loved my family so much. I had Bert Kreischer on my show recently, Jamie. And this is why it's so important. We're always overcoming our wiring as a kid. We still are to this day. And I told Bert, we were talking about drinking, and I said, what kind of a dad are you? And he's a humble guy. He says, I'm a 6 out of 10 or whatever. And we were talking about his drinking. He's known for his. And I said, you know, Bert, the number one thing that my dad's drinking did to me wasn't that I was afraid or anything.

that we were gonna be hurt or anything like that. What it did to me as a little boy is it caused me to worry, worry about my dad. I would worry he wasn't gonna make it home. I was worried he was gonna get in a car accident, someone was gonna hurt him. I would worry and that created this pattern of me of a worrier. And as I got older and older and older, no matter what happened in my life, I would go back to that pattern of worry and fear over and over again.

And so it's a matter of, for me, it's like, for me to be the one, I had to escape this worry and fear that I had in my life. And once I identify what it was, it allowed me to be the person that changed our family forever. I know you used to try to protect your mom and your sisters if he was coming in drunk. And for so many people, and maybe for the person right now who was raised around hard things and is in a spot where...

They've been repeating them. Yeah. How right now, if they are 20 or 30 or 60 or 70, how right now can they make the decision to be the one? I can tell you for sure. I know. The way that you change where you are in your life is these things that you believe about yourself that are negatives aren't true.

They're not true. And remember this, if you start telling yourself the truth about who you are, to quote your work and your worthiness, you can change this. And so these things that you think about yourself are not true.

And truth vibrates at the highest frequency. So what's happening is you vibrate at a very low frequency when you think negatively of yourself and when you don't believe good things about yourself or when you're acting in a way that's not congruent with who you really are. And so in a moment, you can decide I'm gonna operate in truth. And the truth is you were born to do something great with your life. All of you were. You were born to do something awesome with your life in big ways and small ways. That is the truth.

That is the truth. And so now we're operating at a high frequency level. When you operate at a high frequency level, it's from that position that you can make changes and adjustments in your life. So for me, when I need to make a change, I operate in truth about me. So if I'm going through a difficult time, I'll tell myself the truth. I'm built for this.

I was built for this. I have a powerful God who believes in me. His DNA runs through me. I am built for this. And when I begin to tell myself any truth about me, man, I vibrated a very high frequency. When I'm telling myself lies about me that I'm weak and inferior and small and not very smart and all these things that I learned as a little boy, now I'm operating in lies. And that's a very low vibrational frequency and I'm weak. I feel like Superman.

when I'm telling myself the truth about me. And you will feel like superwoman or superman when you begin to tell yourself the truth about who you really are. And when you tell yourself the truth about how you really are, you feel it. There's something about you that goes, and here's for me the truth. The truth isn't that I'm super talented. The truth isn't that I have a super high IQ. But I can tell you this, there's a power to intention, as you know that I talk about this a lot.

I don't link my confidence to my abilities because Wayne Dyer taught me this when I was a young man. Because you know what? My abilities may let me down. My results may let me down. But one thing I know about me, my intentions are good. Mm-hmm.

I have good intentions. Today, before I came over here, you and I both, we prayed. I guarantee you, before I got here, you said a prayer. I know you. I said a prayer as well. My prayer isn't that I'm amazing. My prayer is that I connect to my intention. My intention is to help people, to serve, to contribute. Of all of my weaknesses and frailties and mistakes, I intuitively believe about me that I'm a good person. I've been with me all my life. I know me.

You couldn't probably convince me I'm super smart or unbelievably talented or any of that, but you could convince me I'm a good human. And for most people listening to this, you know that about yourself too. You just don't give yourself any credit for it. There's a power to intention. Listen to me. There's a power to intention. And when you connect your confidence or even your worthiness, and you've taught me the difference between confidence and worthiness, to your intent, you become pretty unstoppable because that's a truth about you.

So the truth about me is I care. The truth is I want to do good. I don't always do good, but my intentions are good. And so that's such a truth about me. Then I'm superhuman because I'm vibrating at a high frequency because I'm telling myself the truth about me. So the truth doesn't have to be, I'm amazing. I'm super talented. I'm beautiful. I'm this. Maybe you don't believe those things about yourself yet. That doesn't matter. Are you a good person? Are your intentions pure? Now, when you connect to intent...

That's a truth, right? And that's why eventually I believe good people win. I just think good people eventually win because they're connected to truth and their intentions. So for me, it's always comes back to my intentions. Right before we did this today in the green room, before you came over and we took our walk together, I just said a quick prayer to myself, reminded myself, I intend to serve. I intend to serve. Everything will be okay from there. This is so, so, so, so, so good. It is good. This is like breakthrough. Um,

So many people are in this cycle of self-doubt. Yes. And they go, I want to believe I'm enough. I want to believe I'm worthy. Yeah. And I don't know how to. Yes. I don't know how to do it. This strategy? Yes. This strategy. Yes. Link your worth to your intentions. Yes. Because when you believe that to be true about yourself, your whole vibration- Changes. Raises. You're in your power. Yes. Yes.

So I got to tell you, so we have a friend, John Gordon, who talks about his different Ds, right? He's got these different Ds he talks about. I really have three Ds that I, so let's reverse it. If I wanted you to fail, if I was, if you believe in the adversary, let's say, right? Or just forget you even believe in the adversary, the devil, you just believe in adversity. If I wanted to get you to fail,

What would I try to get you to feel? I'd get you to feel three things. If I want you to fail, if I want you to quit on your dreams, quit on your business, quit on your family, quit believing in you, what would I need to get you to feel? One of three are all three Ds. The first thing I'd try to get you to be is totally discouraged. Because if I can get you discouraged, discouragement is a weapon of the adversary. So if I can just get you a little failure, a little setback, a little discouraged, I can get you to quit.

If that doesn't work, here's what I'm going to give you. I'm going to give you a dose of doubt. Let me just dose you with some doubt. Doubt about your abilities. Doubt you're worthy of it. Doubt your intentions are good. Doubt your confidence level. Doubt. If I can get you doubting, I got you. Or if that doesn't work, I'll hit you with delusion. Delusion is I get you to believe things that aren't true.

I get you delusional or I get you to believe your problem is way bigger than it is. A lot of people when they have a problem in their life, they start thought stacking it, repeating it over and over and making it bigger and it becomes a delusion or some little mistake they've made. They repeat it over and over again. It becomes this delusional huge thing. So if those are the three things that can take me off of my game or off of my dream or off of my heavenly pursuit to become the man or woman I was born to be,

I rid them out of my life when I see them. I go, I know what this is. This is that whole discouragement thing. They're trying to discourage me. They're trying to get me to doubt.

They're trying to get me to be delusional. And so I look for those things and I identify them when they're there. And then I always go back to truth. The truth is God would never want you doubting. God would never want you totally discouraged. And God certainly doesn't want you delusional. So that's a lie. That's a low vibrational frequency. The truth, which operates at the highest frequency, like we've talked about, is that you were born to do something great with your life. And if you connect it to your intentions, you're unstoppable.

- Wow, we're going there today, aren't we? - This is so, so, so good. - This is really good. - Because a lot of people sit around and think, and they're not realizing they're giving themselves the three Ds. We get the three Ds from all around us all day long. - We do. - And so often we're giving ourselves the three Ds, discouragement,

doubt, delusion, right? And then we're like taking ourselves out to the point where it's easy for someone to believe that's the truth, but it's not the truth. You feel it in your spirit. And if you're like, okay, but I keep failing. Okay, but everyone's telling me I don't have what it takes. And you're saying...

A, that's a lie. And B, when you operate in your truth, whether it is what does God say about you, whether it's the things you know to be true, or whether it's linking it to your good intentions. Yes. Your good intentions. That's right. Woo!

It's totally true. And the other thing, delusion also can be a vision issue. I know you've heard me talk about this, but like, here's another thing. Here's part of what delusion looks like. Delusion is, so the Bible talks about where there's, you know, where there is no vision, the people will perish. So I've really thought a lot about that. For most people I meet, they have some kind of vision.

Like if you ask the average person or ask anybody, listen to this average person like me, well, you want to be happy or sad? What's your vision? They'd say happy. You want to be wealthy or in poverty? They probably say, I'd like to be wealthy. You want to be able to contribute and make a difference in your life or not? They probably say, I want to contribute. Do you want great memories in your life or you don't want any memories? Most people would say, I would love some memories in my life. What the adversary gets you to do or our vision gets murky is we believe it's further away than it is.

We believe it's like 15, 20 years from now. Because we believe it's so far away, we create patterns and behaviors and belief systems that perpetually keep it there. And we keep things so far away. But that's a great lie. The truth is,

You're one decision away from changing your life. You're one new relationship. You're one podcast interview. You're one new thought, right? And one new emotion, one connection away from totally changing your life. But if you believe it so far away, you may miss the very people around you, the very thoughts around you that could have delivered it for you sooner. And so that's another power of one more is that...

It's this close. It may take a while to get there, but if you always believe it's that far away, that's delusional. It's a delusion. And that delusion will get you to miss everything around you. There's this part of your brain called the reticular activating system that, you know, I talk about a lot. And what it does is it's a prover. It proves you're right. It gives you things. It makes you notice, hear, see, feel things in your life that validate your beliefs.

So, or are important to you. So that's why like I bought a Tesla a while ago. All of a sudden after I bought this Tesla, I saw Teslas all over the road. It drove Christiana crazy. I'd be like three lanes over, babe, red Tesla. She's like, what is wrong with you? Right, Tesla. Those Teslas were always there. Why all of a sudden am I seeing them? Everyone's had that experience. I'm seeing them because they're important to me now.

Right? Here's the hook. What if your dreams and your ambitions and your emotions that you want become the testless and you believe there could be one away? Now you see things that were always there that you were oblivious to before. And that's the power of having a truth in your life and not being delusional. Mm-hmm.

- The D, third D, delusional. I feel like we are unlearning the lies today. Like knocking them down one after another that lead to self doubt.

If you're getting value out of this conversation with Ed Milet, oh my goodness, you are not going to want to miss what's coming up. In fact, it is so good, we had to do a part two. Here is a sneak peek of what's coming up in episode two with Ed Milet. I want to express this so profoundly. I love that you just ... It's my favorite topic ever on any show I've ever done, and no one's ever talked to me about this before.

I've conflated in my life too many times the difference between significance and love. And so when I was a little boy, actually when I was a big boy, even now, I felt loved if I did something significant. So if I brought home straight A's, Eddie, we're so proud of you. Or if I hit a home run, or I got big muscles, or I made hundreds of millions of dollars, or I had an island, or I got a jet, or whatever it was,

That recognition felt like love. But it's a reduced version of it. So all my life, I've been trying to earn it. And the truth is, I'm just realizing now, I don't have to earn it. It's my birthright. God gave it to me. I want to talk to you. I want to ask you something I've never asked you before. Not even in our regular conversations. I've never asked you about this before. Oh, whoa.

Whoa, whoa. I've never been asked that one. Wow, wow, wow. Okay. You're amazing. Now you're going to make me really emotional. But to just melt back down and cool back down to what I was worth. And I'll never forget the day because I literally watched my dreams walk out the door. But the moment was bigger than my worthiness in that moment. And wow, look at you.

Athletes. Literally. Athletes. The best athletes in the world. I know that you coach presidents and world leaders. You coach so many different people to overcome their limiting beliefs. Believe it or not, it's their confidence or their worthiness level. And I remember asking you, what is it? And you said that you can see God in that person. That's correct. Every single person. Yeah.

And that shifted me. See, people think, oh, a gift is I look like Beyonce or I sing like Beyonce or I'm strong like The Rock, Dwayne Johnson. Those are gifts because they're very...

visible gifts. But most human beings gifts are subtle and quiet and beautiful. It's their nurturing ability. It's their kindness. It's their intention. It's their humor. It's their intellect. It's their problem solving ability, right? It's their resiliency. It's their toughness. It's their faith. It's their strength.

It is impossible to see God in them and judge them at the same time. Oh, I love you. Right? That's exactly right. Right? And I'm watching them all of a sudden not feel judged by you, so now they feel safe. All right, this is going to get controversial. This is going to get controversial. You have said one of the most insidious forms of child neglect is a parent that does not go after their dreams. Yeah.

I think you're neglecting your children when you don't pursue your dreams and your potential. That's big what you just said because a lot of people say, well, I'm really good at loving my kids. That's enough. You're saying, oh, but it's actually caught. It's caught. Not taught. And if they don't see you loving you. Say this because I've never said this on any show before, but it's you, so I'll say it. I can't believe I'm saying this with you now. For everyone listening, um,

just holding out for hope or for love in their life, would you mind just taking a moment and just speaking into them? - Mm-hmm. And in your life, you're qualified to help anybody that you used to be. And so if you've been in pain and you're in a little bit less pain, you can help people in pain. If you've not believed in yourself for a little while, maybe you believe just a little bit more today, you can help people who need that belief. I've done that good. I've done that really good with my kids. I've done that really good with them.

I would just recommend to everybody, if you have a chance to tell another human being about them, tell them. God chose you to change the world. That's what kept my head when we were talking today. That's what I was thinking. It's going to use you a lot of different ways. It's not just the speaking. It's this too. Like you're doing something here. Like I've never cried like that. And the only time I ever cried in interviews is when you interviewed me. Only two times ever. You need to be doing this.

Look, everyone's crying in here, by the way. I have one more thing to share with you, but before I do, if you got value out of this episode, my only ask is that you please share it. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today.

You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode.

And thank you so much for joining me today. And before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it is an honor to welcome you to each episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are.

Heal where you need.

Blossom what you choose. Journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are love. And I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode. This is the Jamie Kern Lima Show. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth.

When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you.

In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness.

Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth.

Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Do you struggle with negative self-talk?

Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life.

It's called Five Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Build Self-Love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk, to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals.

Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief.

If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jamiekernlima.com slash resources or click the link in the show notes below.

This show is presented solely for entertainment purposes only. It's not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, psychotherapist, professional coach, or other qualified professional.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and conversation together, and I am so grateful to be on this journey with you. And did you know for every episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show, there are a set of special prompt questions just for you to help you on your journey of aha moments and revelations in your own life from each episode.

Make sure you join my free email newsletter at jamiekernlima.com to get them sent to you each week. And each episode is meant to be evergreen and packed with timeless life lessons. So you can go back and listen to past episodes you perhaps haven't heard yet as we are going on this incredible journey of building self-worth and living our best lives together.