Key Insights
Why is Paul struggling to connect emotionally with his wife?
Paul comes from a family that is not very outward with emotions, while his wife comes from a very emotionally expressive family. This creates a mismatch in emotional communication.
What advice does John give Paul to improve emotional connection with his wife?
John suggests Paul practice skin-on-skin contact four times a day, ask specific questions about how to love her, and avoid trying to solve her emotional dysregulation. He also recommends reading the book 'Quiet' together.
How does Felix feel about his friends not reaching out after the hurricane?
Felix feels resentment towards his friends who haven't reached out after the hurricane, even though many others, including distant acquaintances, have checked on him.
What does John advise Felix to do with his feelings of resentment?
John advises Felix to write letters to his friends expressing his feelings but not send them. He also suggests calling his close friends to ask why they didn't reach out, and to accept that some relationships may change due to this experience.
What is Katie's dilemma regarding her mother-in-law's new boyfriend?
Katie is unsure when and how to introduce her children to her mother-in-law's new boyfriend, especially since her husband and his siblings are not ready to meet him.
What does John suggest Katie do about introducing the kids to the new boyfriend?
John advises Katie not to introduce the kids to the new boyfriend until the family has properly grieved and the husband is ready. He suggests writing letters to the deceased father-in-law and having a gratitude moment during holidays to acknowledge his absence.
Why does Caroline feel resentment towards her sisters?
Caroline feels resentment because she does most of the household chores and feels like she's being treated like a mother to her sisters, which she doesn't want.
What does John suggest Caroline do to address her resentment?
John suggests Caroline either move out or make peace with the situation, as her sisters' messiness is a personality trait that won't change easily.
Chapters
- Skin-on-skin contact can help emotional regulators feel safe.
- Ask specific questions to understand what your partner needs.
- Avoid trying to solve your partner's emotional dysregulation; instead, focus on providing safety and love.
Shownotes Transcript
