Grief Expert: The Key to Overcoming Life’s Hardest Moments (With David Kessler)
The Dr. John Delony Show
Deep Dive
Why does society often treat grief as something to be quickly overcome?
Society treats grief as contagious and uncomfortable, often pushing individuals to move past it to maintain an illusion of perfection and avoid confronting their own fears of loss.
How does David Kessler view the role of denial in the grieving process?
Denial is seen as a necessary grace that paces the pain, allowing individuals to process loss bit by bit rather than overwhelming them all at once.
What does David Kessler believe is the key to sitting with someone in their grief?
The key is to allow the person to deny the reality of their loss for a while, providing a pillow of support rather than a crowbar to force them out of denial.
Why does David Kessler consider feelings as important data?
Feelings are seen as information and knowledge about oneself, crucial for understanding one's psyche and moving forward. They are not facts but essential data to be acknowledged and processed.
How does David Kessler suggest dealing with the disloyalty felt when moving on from pain?
He suggests that living again in honor of the lost loved one is not disloyal but a way to carry their love forward, turning pain into a stronger badge of love rather than a burden.
What is David Kessler's view on the concept of healing?
Healing, to Kessler, means the event no longer controls one's life, allowing freedom to make decisions and write a new future without being dictated by past losses or traumas.
How does David Kessler approach the comparison of different types of grief?
He believes each person's grief is the worst for them, as only they can fully understand and experience their own pain. He emphasizes the importance of honoring each individual's grief without comparison.
What does David Kessler suggest about the role of the inner child in healing?
He suggests that the inner child is knocking, needing healing, and that bringing this child into the present can help in processing past traumas and enjoying current moments.
Why does David Kessler believe in empowering individuals to heal themselves?
He believes that true empowerment comes from recognizing that healing is within oneself, not dependent on external validations or clearances from others.
- Grief allows for a deeper understanding of joy and the preciousness of life.
- Those who sit with grief often have a larger capacity for both pain and joy.
- Denial is a natural part of grief that paces the pain, allowing it to be processed gradually.
Shownotes Transcript