Trump’s Campaign Takes Another Strange Turn and Tim Walz on the Democrats' Path to Victory
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This is The Daily Show with your host, Jon Stewart. Baby! Welcome to The Daily Show! We've got a great one for you tonight. Our guest on the program this evening, Governor Tim Walz, Democratic nominee. But first, it's just two weeks until the election, and I'm going to say this.

We have officially entered into the fever dream portion of the campaign. Right is left, up is down. The Republican nominee is hanging out in a Bronx barbershop. The Republican nominee is hosting some sort of book club with Liz Cheney. That's a Cheney. What are you doing with a Cheney? You're not allowed to hang out with a Cheney. They're Marvel. You're DC. You can't be in the same movie. It's a rights issue. And no one likes them.

And here's the worst part. The Cheneys have somehow synced up their circuitry directly to the Madam Vice President. They move as one. It is so surreal. This campaign cannot get any weirder. Hello, everybody. Sir. My first day at McDonald's. I'm looking for a job. So, if you don't mind, I want to work the French fry counter. Give him the job. I implore you. I don't...

I don't care if his references don't shake out. Save democracy, give him the job. Now, Kamala Harris is out there sweating the details over her new opportunity economy. Trump's just out there farting around. I love salt. Wait a minute, I spilled some.

I'm very superstitious. You take it for granted. You say, give me French fries. I'll never forget this experience. I always figured somebody stuffed them in with their hand and I don't like that. And they don't do it that way. You never touch them. It's really great. You f***ing Forrest Gump? What are we talking about here? For decades that you've been eating at McDonald's, you thought the fries come out of the boiling oil.

And the workers, making that sweet, sweet $4.25 an hour, just reach in and go, ah! Just with their hands. What, you think that's how the burgers get flipped? Ah! Oh, God, someone order ice cream. Ah! That's his whole campaign right now. Ave Maria dance party. I'm going to deport everybody. Football tailgate. Blame the Jews if I lose. McDonald's drive-thru. He's out there having the time of his life.

And the poor, sweet media. Oh, poor, sweet media. They know they're mad. They're just not exactly sure which thing they should be maddest about anymore. But I can tell you one thing, media. It probably shouldn't be the McDonald's thing.

This was entirely staged. There was a fake customer, yes. He is so inept at pretending to be a real person that he really, literally cannot operate the fry machine as a normal worker because he would be incapable of doing so. What a pleasant counterpoint. Look, I'm all for criticizing Donald Trump, but I got to tell you, I also don't know how to work the fryer in McDonald's.

and would be incapable of doing so. But we're at that point in the campaign. It's a fever pitch. We can no longer discern the noise from the signal. We've lost the ability to understand what level of outrage to even demonstrate. Which brings us to this weekend, where the absurdity-outrage cycle reached its apex at a Trump campaign in Pennsylvania. I'm going to tell them the real story of Arnold.

But Arnold Palmer was all man. And I say that in all due respect to women, and I love women. But this guy, this guy, this is a guy that was all man. This man was strong and tough. And I refuse to say it, but when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there, they said, oh, my God. That's unbelievable.

They want to f*** Arnold Palmer so bad. First of all, I'm not here to fact check the former president. But Arnold Palmer wasn't all man. He was half man, half lemonade. Now, if I may... None of that is true.

But it is true. Apparently, every time Arnold Palmer came out of the shower, the other golfers were like, ooh, talk about a dog leg. That is a par. Wow. You're going to need a caddy. But the question, ladies and gentlemen, is not whether or not Arnold's Palmer is being fitted for the green jacket. It's whether the media will performatively take the bait.

This was not just crude and obscene, but it was completely inappropriate. Vulgar, lewd. This is not presidential. Is this really the closing message you want voters to hear from Donald Trump? Stories about Arnold Palmer's penis? Not one, not three, but ten minutes talking about another man's genitalia. It's very serious, I apologize. What is the appropriate amount of time? Three minutes, I can understand. Ten minutes? It's a you problem.

But I do get there is a double standard at play. You imagine if Kamala Harris held a rally and like, Billie Jean King, her vagina, wow. She'd come out of the shower and all the other tennis players would shout, oh, hello, hello. Ask your parents. That would be madness. But for Trump, this was actually one of his milder genital rants. This was kind of his kid's bop genitals rant. Classy, body positive. He was complimenting somebody else.

I don't know why we have to parse everything that this guy says so sternly. We have two enemies. We have the outside enemy and then we have the enemy from within. And the enemy from within, in my opinion, is more dangerous than China, Russia and all these countries. Hey, who wants fries? We have some very bad people. We have some sick people, radical left lunatics.

And I think they're the and it should be very easily handled by, if necessary, by national guard or if really necessary by the military. You're not fun at all. That's not fun, loving and mischievous. It sounded quite threatening. That's actually worthy of some real examination. And all the Republicans who have talked about having fun at Trump's rallies.

I'm sure they'd express concerns about this type of rhetoric. What I want to just make very clear is that it's my belief that what former President Trump is talking about are the people that are coming over the border that, in fact, are committing crimes, that are bringing drugs, that are trafficking humans. That is what I believe the president is referring to. I don't think that he's referring to elected people in America. Oh, all right, good, because I -- Okay. Okay, 'cause I was worried.

Because it did sound bad the way that he had said it. I probably wasn't thinking clearly, you know, but just to make sure that that is what he meant, let's give the former president himself a chance to clear up that he's really talking about drug and human traffickers coming across the border and obviously not elected officials. Adam Shifty Schiff, who's a total sleazebag, is going to become a senator, but I call him the enemy from within. Just Shifty Schiff, right?

And it is the enemy from within, and they're very dangerous. The more difficult are, you know, the Pelosi's, these people, they're so sick, and they're so evil. Are you out of your f***ing mind? The former Speaker of the House is the enemy within. Well, I bet Donald Trump is about to get an earful from the current Speaker of the House.

who will, despite his support of Donald Trump, still have the courage to... I'm kidding. Just roll it. What he's talking about is marauding gangs of dangerous, violent people who are destroying public property. Ah, yes. Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi. Famous capos in the Salvadoran gang. MSNBC. Where's the we the people constitution first outrage here?

He's talking about treading on you. You always wave the "Don't tread on me" flag. This is treading! You are a decorated veteran. How would you feel about deploying against Adam Schiff? Well, I don't think that's what he said, John. I think you're connecting some dots there. It's exactly what he said. Not dots, words. We're connecting words through the ear holes with the listening. That's what he said.

I understand the powerful pull of partisanship, but for my own sanity, can I get one Republican to at least acknowledge that Trump said the thing that he is repeatedly saying? - Look, Trump speaks in hyperbole. This is nothing new. He's not talking about attack, using the military to attack people who disagree with him politically or anything like that. - He is literally saying that! He's literally saying that! Literally!

He is saying the enemy is like Shifty Shift and Pelosi. You can't just pretend that he's talking about something else. God, this is what gets us to the ultimate problem, which is this. Is any of the shit Trump says real? How are we supposed to understand what's bullshit and what isn't?

Kamala Harris, she's got to have an 80-page presentation on exactly how this opportunity economy is going to function and how it's going to be paid for. Meanwhile, the standard for Trump is emotional vicinity. Apparently, it doesn't actually matter if the things he says are true. And if you try and dig down on the lies, he only gets liar. When you said, you know, it's gone viral, they're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats.

You say you're just reporting what had been said, but why not say now, well, look, that turned out not to be true. I don't know. I don't know if it's true or not true. I read something. You don't know if it's true or not true. It's been debunked by the officials. What about the goose, the geese? What about the geese? What happened there? They were all missing. What about the geese? They were everywhere during the summer, but now, now that it's cold.

And by the way, to all the Republican officials who seem very confident that Trump isn't being serious when talking about extreme measures to defeat his enemies, he's already tried it. Remember that day he tried to overthrow the government? And I know it didn't work. But attempted murder isn't the same thing as never tried the murder. So we are left with this surreal idea that somehow Trump's absurdity renders him benign.

We dismiss his threats because of how much fun he has expounding on the length, width and girth of Arnold Palmer's. If only there was one dystopian moment from this past weekend that encapsulates this potent tincture of clownish campaigning mixed with authoritarian foreboding.

Because I know shorter clips do better on the TikTok. Give me, oh, I don't know, a man in an apron at a drive-thru window thoughtfully considering whether or not to future coup. Talking to reporters, Trump was asked about accepting the 2024 election results. Either way, will you accept the results of the election? Yeah, sure, if it's a fair election, always. I would always accept it if it's going to be a fair election. First of all, how dare this reporter brazenly violate the no walking through a drive-thru rule?

And second, how the is Donald Trump in a McDonald's apron in the window of the fast food restaurant talking about whether or not he'll overturn the popular vote real life? How is this real? Did we all die during COVID? And is this some strange, surreal purgatory?

Or maybe AI has already sucked up the sum total of human achievement and endeavors, and what we're all experiencing are merely the crumbs and detritus of human existence that AI thought was just too f***ing weird to vacuum up. Maybe it's a dream. Maybe I'm in your dream or you're in my dream. I just, I have to wake myself up. Wake up, John, wake, wake up! Oh my God.

This is the weirdest dream. Donald Trump was dancing on stage to Ave Maria, just swaying. Then he was making fries in a McDonald's and running for president. Honey, that's Trump. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats. No!

John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to The Weekly Show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcasts. He's the governor of Minnesota. And Kamala Harris is running. May please welcome the Democratic nominee for vice president, Governor Tim Walz. Sir.

thank you ready to win no it's nice it must be nice that must feel pretty good now let me ask you this actually she called the coach uh actually tonight

I talked to you not as the Democratic nominee for vice president, but as a football coach. My Giants got their asses kicked. They did. There's got to be something you can do. They should have kept Shaquan. Pay the money. Of course they could have kept Shaquan. Pay the money. He's right. Shaquan. But thank you for being here. Is this the first...

Non-swing state that you've been in in the last... Been in a couple, but mostly the swing states. Mostly the swing states. Are they at any point now when you show up? Because you saw the reaction that you got here. You're coming into New York. We haven't seen, honestly, anybody. But right now...

When you roll into Pennsylvania, are they just like, oh, my God? No, they're excited. They are excited. Well, they know how much, they know what's riding on this. They know that those swing states and those counties matter. It's targeted. They're doing the work. I woke up in Saginaw, Michigan yesterday and went to a union hall in the morning. 120 folks down there going out on a canvas. I'm just going to stop you right there. There's no wooing for Saginaw.

It's nice. It's nice, right? That guy knows. It's not woo nice. When you go into these places and, you know, are you speaking now? It's rallies now where they're coming to see you. Like, the listening tour stuff is over. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we still, you know, get to the union halls. We stop in restaurants. That's what I do is eat on this most of the time. Right.

You can tell. But folks are still talking. And I know it's hard to imagine. There's a lot of folks still deciding what they're going to do. I think, you know, the polling says there's no undecided voters. They're watching this. They're watching this craziness that you're seeing. And then they're seeing that this is serious stuff. And so I still think there is that opportunity just to chat with them, tell them what we're doing. Have you met people that appear to be somebody? Because what I know of...

People who say, oh, I'm undecided. You talk to them for 30 seconds and you're like, oh, you're a libertarian. They have what their deal is already set up. They just sort of place themselves in this, I don't know yet. What's been an effective argument that you felt

has pulled people closer to you? Well, it's a lot of the folks I'm talking to on that. They're folks that are probably they are Republicans and they say it. Republican introduces me in Omaha. He said, I can't stand with this guy anymore. That's not the party of Reagan. This isn't freedom, whatever it may be. It's a lot of those folks that are trying to find permission to get off the get off the mega stuff and move over. So they're still listening. They're finding a way. Is the concern that they have that a Harris-Walls team would be

too liberal or, you know, is it, do they point to, oh, in Minnesota, you allowed tampons in different bathrooms and trans people were allowed to play sports and, oh my God, we're all going to be communists. Like, what are they? Our children are eating breakfast and lunch. Right. Is that, what is the,

What's the barrier? What do you find is the barrier to them being able to place that? Well, for a lot of them, they've never crossed over that line. I mean, it really is, and you can say it about, you know, Liz Cheney and Dick Cheney and some of those that did show some courage to cross over. They don't agree. These are folks that were told that I'm historically Republican, I'm going to vote Republican, and they're not going to vote Republican.

but they don't have a home anymore. And I think for a lot of cases, they hear the noise that's out there, but that's why I'm out there talking to them. We're talking about tax cuts for the middle class, talking about home ownership, talking about the one that I'll tell you really makes a difference, especially in rural areas because it's an older population, expanding home care for Medicare. And now all of a sudden, they're like, well, that's a damn good idea. I got to tell you, that may be my favorite. It is. That may be my favorite policy. Yeah, it is mine. Because when you think about, everybody wants to talk about it's the economy.

stupid and sometimes there is a sense that the government is not necessarily responsive that there's a disconnect between kind of the legislators in Washington and all the lobbyists that surround them and the needs of people in their communities home health care child care elder care. You know education rural hospitals rural hospitals, biggest issues that they don't have ambulances in rural areas right cases. So yeah.

How do you convince them that the things that will be done in your administration will impact their lives in a tangible way? Yeah, they need to feel it. I oftentimes talk about this as a teacher. You know, the Maslow's hierarchy is self-actualization. You got to have a lot of time on your hands, money to self-actualize.

They're worried about, and when they say that they're worried about the economy, believe them, they are worried about the economy or they're struggling. You can't tell them, well, inflation's down, interest rates are coming down. They need to see the tangible things that will make a difference. So talk to them what a $6,000 tax credit looks like as opposed to a Trump tariff that would add 20%. These are folks that want to find a reason to not vote for Donald Trump. We need to give them that. So I think in the midst of this, you can, yes. You can.

I said coming out after that opening, it is terrifying watching their doing, but that's all distraction, the Trump distraction. If he is dangerous, it is serious. He's not going to do any manufacturing. You know, it's interesting. If I judge it from, and again, New York's not a swing state, but we see the commercials. We're inundated with the commercials as well, mostly for down-ballot races and things like that. But if I were to look at this as an alien stepping into this election, just from the commercials, I would think that Republicans vote on two things.

stopping people from coming over the border and stopping trans people from playing sports. Like, those are the only two commercials that I've seen. And the Democrats, oddly enough, run on two things as well.

stopping people coming in from the border. They've accepted it. Like all the Democrats that are running for Congress and for other offices here in New York all talk about the border and then choice legislation. And you would think those are the only two things that are going on that anybody is talking about. So it's interesting to hear that

One, it's more economy. Well, they ask people to rank the issues where they're at, depending on where you rank it. And look, these guys figured out early, fear is a great short-term motivator. I often say I supervise the high school lunchroom. I know fear works. It doesn't change behaviors. And I still believe that there's this aspirational piece and really listening to where people are

In small towns, these are not hateful people, but they're wondering where did their manufacturing jobs go? Well, Donald Trump shipped them overseas, you know, tariffs and things like that. We need to make sure we're making the case that, look, here's how this is going to specifically impact you. We hear you about this. But I would think the Democrats are the ones, when you talk about shipping things overseas, you know, you would say NAFTA or free trade were the things that really hollowed out the manufacturing base. Now...

investment in infrastructure all that has brought a lot of it back but that is kind of an albatross around Democrats next which is

OUR TRADE POLICIES KIND OF HELPED THIS GLOBALIZATION OCCUR. IT'S A FAIR ARGUMENT, BUT I ALSO THINK TOO THAT COVID RECHANGED THAT, THE BREAKING OF THE SUPPLY CHAINS. AND LOOK, WE CAN HAVE FAIR TRADE. WE PRODUCE MORE SOYBEANS IN MINNESOTA THAN WE'RE GOING TO EAT. WE NEED TO HAVE MARKETS FOR THEM, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE FAIR, MAKING SURE THE JOBS ARE HERE. I THINK THAT'S THE ONE THING WHEN YOU TALK TO PEOPLE, WHAT ARE THEIR ASPIRATIONS?

They want to have good jobs they want to save communities they want to have good schools because again these guys are going to go to about realization of schools where are you going to find a private school in a town of 400 like where I grew up right where you going to where you're going to find a hospital, you know you bring it is because we talk a lot about it's this red blue divide or it's these different things. What about the rural and urban. Divide because it really does seem as though policies for one group very difficult to apply

to another group. And when we talk about even, like, with guns, you know, guns in rural America means a very different thing than guns in places where it's more densely populated. Yeah, but dead children in their schools means the same thing in rural areas. Absolutely. And I think that's where we... That piece...

Look, I understand that that's happened. I won a congressional seat, the second Democrat in over 100 years in a red district. Donald Trump won that district by like 17 points in 2016. Your district. My district. And I still won again. I haven't changed them. Now, that district has changed. Would I win that district today? It would be a tough race, I think, as compared to where it was. But the issues have not changed for me. And I think this issue around guns especially, being a gun owner,

responsible gun owners know that you can protect Second Amendment, but your first responsibility is those kids. And you can do red flag laws. You can do extreme risk protection orders, background checks. And you can do getting assault weapons out of the streets and so on. You can do that. So, you know, I think we make a mistake on that one.

One of the real first qualifications of being a vice president is obviously rifle safety. I think. Yes, it is. You know, I can't think of a vice president in recent memory. No. That used a used a shotgun irresponsibly. Nothing comes to mind. That's right. How is that the Cheney thing?

Do we really have to do that? Look, it goes broader than that. Look, Bernie Sanders, Dick Cheney, Taylor Swift. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, the shooting? No, no, no. Having the Cheneys on board? No. You can't Dick Cheney or Taylor Swift. We're a big ten. We're a big ten. What country did Taylor Swift get us to invade? No. No.

No, don't you think, though, that, and I do this, I believe this, there is still a core group of folks out there. You know, your point being, and not joke, the don't tread on me, the Reagan piece of this, the libertarian piece, but the constitutional piece, there are a lot of people out there. I think Liz Cheney and Dick Cheney give permission to those folks who want to find a reason to do the right thing.

thing. It doesn't mean they agree with it. We're not going to take their foreign policy decisions and discussions, you know, and implement those. We're going to take their promise. Yes. It's a stressful time. Now for you, you know,

Is your day now, you wake up, are they hitting you with, you know, what we get inundated with is the polling data and the, you know, they're really digging down into each thing. And it is, quite frankly, the 24 hours ratchet up, I think, the anxiety. They do.

around all of this. Is that what your day is like? Are you protected from that? Yeah, no, somebody's doing that. They're sending me, whether it's Saganon, then I'll be off with tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to this. We're going to be in Madison, Wisconsin with President Obama tomorrow. But will they say to you, like...

We've got the data in. And today, if you don't get Betsy from outside of Bucks County, we're done. No, it's the but it's the overarching message of saying, look, we know that suburban women are deeply concerned as they should be. And I will add to the men here. You should be deeply concerned about the choice. It's less of that.

My job's at this point in time to get those volunteers who are fired up. And look, if you're in this mode and you can doom scroll through things and you can watch polls or whatever, the antidote to that is just to make sure he's never elected again, to go out and do the work, to make sure we elect Kamala Harris. Action. And get the work done. Action. Action. That's what my day is. Right. How different has being on the national stage from being on... Look, you've had a pretty long career in Congress, right?

As governor, now that you're on the national stage, has that changed your ability to do that sort of retail politicking that comes from more local things? What's been the difference? Yeah, no, I think I'm still doing it. Like I said this, that I have a skill set that I know it. Right. I said one thing is, is I'm I told people I said I'm not that great a debater. I was a school teacher, so I'm trained to answer questions.

You know, that's not a good debating skill to answer that. You don't want to... But I still think that reflection... What I'm most proud of is, and I love this, I think it was Wall Street Journal did it, they did the financial disclosures, and they said, Tim Walz might be the poorest person to ever run for vice president. And...

But surprisingly, teachers, nurses, firefighters and stuff, it does give me an in with people. It gives me an in to talk to them about this, that why do you think I'm fighting for these policies for defined benefit pension plans, the ability to form a union, to make it easier to be in a union. Right. Because that's where it comes from.

See, I think that's a fascinating thing because it's always struck me as odd. You know, I can remember a time, and it might have been in the 2016 campaign or it might have been 2020, where Donald Trump Jr. said about his father, he's a blue-collar billionaire. And I was like, I'm pretty sure that's not a thing. I don't know.

I don't think they make those. Yeah, the busting it. Look, and all the unions with us, they've got union politics that gets inside. Why have the unions, though, been more reluctant in this cycle? It's a couple. They have tough politics inside those. These are folks that are directly responsible. They're members. And look, they're members. Some of them split off.

The bottom line is, how can you be with a guy who wants to bust a union, not there to make collective bargaining the right, not to make health care there? But that is the cognitive distance that I don't quite understand. So you're talking about unions, blue-collar unions. Some of those leaders did not show the courage they needed to. A vast majority of union leaders showed the courage they're backing up. But you have, you know...

You have the truck drivers and the teamsters, and they might say, well, I'm pro-Trump. I'll make America great. I'm putting on the hard hat and all that. And he's locked in with a group that wants to bring automation to all those jobs. And it...

I don't know how it doesn't make sense. Yeah, it's our job to do. We got to talk to folks better. We got to learn how to talk to him. We got to get out in there because that disconnected. And I always said this as a teacher, if if my kids weren't getting the lesson, a lot of them, it's probably because I wasn't teaching it as well as I needed to. So I am still of the belief that we have to do a better job. I think Kamala's message on the middle class opportunity. You're right. We have a fifth. You know, we have pages of this too much.

It's too detailed and it helps too much. How do you get a house? What's a tax cut look like for you? And what's Social Security look like? We start talking to them. Look, the vast majority of union members, the vast majority of middle class folks know that. Is there a question, you know, in my mind, I always look at it like since Reagan, we've turned into more of an investment economy as opposed, we've turned away from kind of a labor economy.

And I always wonder, you know, we've got little things here. We've got a child tax credit. We've got some home health care. Is there a bigger swing? Because it always seems to me that the working people, the answer to them is always, oh, you need better representation. You've got to get a better union. You've got to do another thing. Is there how do working people get that seat at the table where they get to participate in the shareholder economy?

How come workers are not a part of the shareholder? Yeah, yeah. You elect folks who come from the middle class. So, for example, in Minnesota, it matters to people there. Now you get paid family medical leave. I know in some states, you know, but you get those types of things, and those are the things that workers are asking to have. It truly is. When it's easier to form a union, you take home more money. You have a better living style. And I think making sure they see that connection for the folks they're electing and

What's the proudest thing that you instituted in Minnesota during your time as governor? Free breakfast and lunch for kids. They learn better. Couple that with, you know, early childhood. Couple that with paid family medical leave or whatever. And the philosophy we have, and this is what I know Kamala agrees in, you're either going to buy school buses and school meals or prison buses and prison meals. It makes more sense to vote on the front end. You solve a lot of those problems.

Well, we appreciate you coming here. It's clear that a lot of our audience is undecided. Thank you. Thank you. That guy's from Minnesota. Is that true? No, Saginaw. That guy's from Saginaw. Oh, are you really from Saginaw? Yeah. No, he's not from Saginaw.

While you're in New York City, you got any plans? You going to do something? People come in from the Midwest sometimes, and they always ask me, where should I go for maybe a slice of pizza? Well, you're going to all be shocked by this. I am an avid runner, and I got to go in Central Park and do a run with him.

Did you really? Yeah. Is that the first time you went running in Central Park? Second time. Second time? After the debate, I went and ran in there. Did you really? Yeah, the next morning. After the debate, you went to Central Park and went running? It was so cool. I needed that confirmation. People were like, yeah, you kicked his butt. Good job. You know, whatever. I needed that. You know, I lived in New York 35 years. No one's ever given me that kind of confirmation. I don't know.

When I run around the park, it's a very different vibe. Where's off to next? What's the next? You're going to go with Obama to Wisconsin. Madison to Wisconsin. And then that last two-week run, what does that look like? Wherever they send me, I'll be, I'm guessing, Michigan, Wisconsin.

Pennsylvania, back and forth. My wife's down in Nevada. You know, we'll be in Georgia. We're in North Carolina. We're in North Carolina with Bill Clinton the other day, too, which was great to see. And we were there on the first day of early voting and the excitement, especially young kids voting. So we'll just bounce around. We very much appreciate you coming by and hanging out. Ladies and gentlemen, the vice presidential nomination was taken quickly by

John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to The Weekly Show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcasts. Before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Mr. Michael Costacosta. What's coming up this week? Tell the people. Well, you know...

By now, we all know what Trump said about Arnold Palmer, but this week, I'll be investigating other famous dead guys' junk. For instance, Winston Churchill. John, let's just say that during the war, he was getting double rations of hog, all right? It's true, John. I, uh, I-I-I-I didn't-I didn't-I didn't know that. Well, then, then there's Einstein. Did you know that his upstairs brain wasn't his biggest? You know what I mean?

Yeah, I think we know what you mean. A lot of dead penises, John. A lot of dead penises. Okay, Michael Kosta, everybody. Here it is, your moment of death. You got 14 million votes. Anyone? 22 people running. 22 Democrats. They're running. Oh, I'm looking at my hair up there. Let's see. Oh. I don't like it. I don't like it. Excuse me. I'm going to re-comb my hair. Do you mind? I'll leave the stage for five minutes. I'm going to re-comb my hair, Mr. Future Senator.

We have David down here. Mr. Future Senator, you gotta get him in.

John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to The Weekly Show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcasts.