6: Vampire Jack Townson & Other Niche Interests
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Good morning, team.

It's me, Brittany Broski, the host of this show, The Broski Report, starring me, Brittany Broski, your host. Okay, so we laughed off last weekend. Let's actually pump the brakes really quick, guys. Everyone take a deep breath and exhale. We're gonna do it again. Okay, hey guys, welcome back. So we left off last week talking about Vampire Jack. If you're not caught up,

Now is the time to go catch up. Go back to last week and listen to the end of that episode because I talk about one of my favorite online content creators, Vampire Jack Townsend. Okay? Here's a visual for anyone that wants to know. Okay? So I briefly, briefly scratched the surface of Vampire Jack Townsend. I wish Brooke was here. Brooke would back me up.

Shout out Lady Ephron. Shout out Brooke Averick. She's really holding it down for the girls. Any podcast I go on, any piece of media that I am on, I'm going to mention Brooke Averick. Okay? And that's just a truth that I really hold tight to my chest. Okay. For some fucking reason, let me, okay, let me pump the brakes. My coffee just kicked in. Okay. Don't talk to me before I've had my fucking morning coffee and watched at least 17 Vampire Jack Townsend videos. Don't fucking talk to me.

Hey, Monday mood. Okay, hump day mood. I'm just gonna turn this into like a Millennial Corps podcast. And you guys are gonna have to deal with it because that's what I want to do. Mustache moment. Anyway. So this man, this specimen. Yeah, he's hot. All right, you want me to say he's not? He's hot. Look at him. Yeah, I'm into it.

When your boyfriend is a thirst-trapping vampire on the internet. She's hot too. Tell me you're not into that a little bit. No? Villain. The girl or the world. Anti-hero. Burn it all down. Wait, what? Burn it all. Not him using the fire. What's going on for so long? The caption. Okay, this is a video. This is a video that he made.

he's playing both characters one is the villain one is the anti-hero and the villain says your girl or the world and he has his girl in his arms and he says burn it all down and then the screen is like shaking and there's fire and flames and he's engulfed in red light what's the song i can't deal with that actually i will this is the

are the type of books I read. This is literally a book. I would read this book and I would eat it up and I would reread it and I would say they need to make a new movie and then I'd go on Tumblr and I'd reblog post about it on Tumblr and I'd make it my wallpaper. I love shit like this. Maybe that's why I like Vampire Jack Townsend. I am a Vampire Jack Townsend sympathizer. Oh my god. Maybe that's why. It's because I love this sort of like fantasy almost almost

borderline toxic relationship. Almost. Where they love each other so much it's toxic. I'm obsessed with that dude. Okay, so this video says he's sexiest when he literally wants to unalive you and it's just really terrifying blurry Android images of vampire Jack Townsend and he is hot. Okay? I just like can't get over this man probably is like a paralegal. This man probably just like

Is a scribe for a court. What's it called when you like, you like take notes of a court hearing? That's probably what he does during the day. And then he gets home and he's like, I have to clock in Vampire Jack Townsend. So he clocks out of his nine to five and he puts in those fucking red eye contact lenses and he goes, I'm going to suck and wob. And he clocks in dude. And he delivers us this A plus S tier content every fucking time. And he's going to do it every time.

are mad! You bitches are mad at it because he's eating it! Uh yeah and whatever. See like how does he do the vampire teeth do you think? Because they look real. Well he is a real vampire apparently. The makeup I just uh I just like I don't. So for audio listeners the makeup is this red sort of like almost bird-like eyeshadow that comes down his nose and it's only on his eyes and his nose.

And then he's got like no other makeup on his face and then the vampire teeth in. And usually, hey, his chesticles are out, okay? He's showing them boobies, he's showing them ya-ya's. One thing about Vampire Jack, he's got his fucking ya-ya's out. Got his ya-ya's in his gut. And he wears these rings that go on every single finger and there's chains that connect them. I'm obsessed with him maybe actually.

I think you guys need to be obsessed with him the way that I do. I can't deal with it though. He's hot. Look at him. Look at him. He is sexy, dude. I'm saving this picture. Oh, I got a screenshot of it. He uses like curl cream too. He uses Aussie herbal essences hair curl product. Here is the caption on this video, by the way. Here's the caption on this hot, sexy picture. Against the wall. Oh, it's a blood emoji. The blood drop emoji.

Against the wall we-- I can't actually-- okay, let me start over. Ah! Be serious. Against the wall, we fall from grace. The pain we love is taking shape. A burning lust to touch the flame over and over again. We've played this role a thousand times. The same old script, just different lies. You disappear without a trace, concealing the crimes on your face.

Still one of the hottest songs hands down. What's your favorite motionless in white song? Who's that? Who's motionless in white? Oh, they're a very famous band. Oh, this looks bootsy. It's all like horror themed. Thanks for 1 billion streams. We have to listen to motionless in white.

I'm gonna listen to it and because YouTube's gonna copyright it and I'll come back with a review. I'm literally into this. Okay, okay. And we're back. I listened to it and I'm so fucking into it. It's giving like a little Green Day, a little All-American Rejects, a little um like Sleeping With Sirens maybe. But it's all like scary horror. Werewolf vocals only? Motionless in White presents Werewolf. Oh they're on tour. Guys we should go!

They're on tour! Fuck, they're not coming to California. The Dark Horizon tour. That is so period. Werewolf. Vocals only. I'm literally obsessed. I don't- I don't- I actually don't care. Okay, so... Where was I? Go back to Vampire Jack! I don't care about you guys. Okay. Okay, so those are the lyrics that he- he- I thought that was a poem he wrote and I was like, "Oh, this kind of sucks."

Vampire Jack, why don't you stick to whatever the fuck you do? Don't write poetry. I also think that there's something so like when you're trying to be creepy and scary, like rhyming in a poem, not the way to do it. Oh my god, he has a beard here! I would like to see the baby. Oh, it's his cat. And he drew on a beard. Okay, so he's a Star Wars adult too. Vampire Jack Townsend! What are you doing this weekend?

the type of fuckers I used to match with on like Tinder and Bumble. And then they'd have a violent, passionate hate for women, hatred for women. Like literally they think they're in a fucking movie. They think they're the main character in a movie. And like, they seem all fun and games, but it's the type of man that's like, "Don't worry kitten, I will order us dinner because you can't read." It's like that sort of shit. Like these men are so fucking delusional and not in a fun way.

Like, trust and believe I'm into this. Like, I'm eating this up with a fork and a knife. But like, in real life he's probably fucking insufferable. Where'd that hot picture go of him? Yes, dude. Damn! Damn, he's got some-- he's got a rack on him! Going up to a man and saying "nice rack." Okay, let's go through the horny mom comments on this. Someone commented and said, "You know, I really have to stop fainting, but I can't help it." What are you talking about?

"Be the Edward Cullen to my Bella Swan." Girl, I almost-- like, I probably commented that. "You would make a good toy?" What is-- what does that mean? What does that mean? She has children and a husband and a butt plug. What the fu-- where am-- "Freaking love this is amazing. So beautiful and poignant. You're truly one incredible god, king, lord, sire, prince, man, vampire." I don't know what to say. I'm speechless.

You're so very special. There was no one in any universe, in any world, in any afterlife as special and beautiful as you inside and out. I'm obsessed with how there's no punctuation in this sentence. Inside...

As you inside and out, I've used so very much. You have my heart. I'm under your spell completely. You can't be real. You're too amazing. I mean, every word I say with every fiber of my being, my dear special vampire and friend, dear Jack, dear Vladdy, daddy. What the god? God! And she commented again with a bunch of hearts and flame emojis. Oh my god.

And she commented again! That was a lot. That's literally me commenting under any man that I liked post. You are so special and amazing with every fiber of my being. That's literally me, dude. She gets it. Holy shit! - You're an absolutely stunning, murderous little creature. - I can't deal with this! Ooh, he got a blowout. Yes! Bitch, he got a blowout.

He used the Dyson! Oh, it's celebrating his girlfriend. Love you girlfriend, but that should be me. What would you do if your favorite vampire came back from the dead? Nah, man, it's fucking with you. Uh, still very dead, but uh, it's been a year and I wanted to come by and say hey. No, no, no, no, no, no, dude, that's about to piss me off.

I have to let the cringe leave my body for a second. Oh, that just ruined my day. I have to go back to the sexy picture of him to make up for it. Oh my God. Oh, that just, oh, that made me so fucking mad. Oh my God, I'm livid. Oh, there's nothing worse than when a man that looks like that starts talking. Don't ever fucking talk.

That was truly something awful. That was like, we need to take a break. We need to take a break. We'll be right back. Ryan Reynolds here from Intmobile. With the price of just about everything going up during inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down.

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Attention! I need everyone's attention. Please stop what you're doing and listen to me immediately. I know you were before, but now listen again, but harder. The video, if you are watching the video version of my podcast on YouTube, cut out right here. I don't know what happened, if there was an electro zap in the wall connected to the cameras, I don't know, but the cameras just shut off.

And I- I- even when I was recording, I was like, "Hmm, that camera's light just flickered. I wonder what that means." Anyway, let's keep going! 'Cause I'm an idiot, dude! I'm an idiot! Anyway, if you're watching on YouTube, this is where the video cuts off. There is no more video after this part, but in the next episode, it's full video, so this is a one-time thing. I plugged it finally into- what's that called? To prevent electroshocks. What's- what's that thing called?

Circuit, circuit breaker, circuit, uh, surge protector. That's what it's fucking called, dude, a surge protector. And guess what? I didn't use one of those and it shows. So yeah, if you're watching the video, there's no more video, but the rest of the podcast is fine. If you want to go over to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, whatever, or stick around. If you're on YouTube, just stick around because we've included some fun photos for you to look at. Right?

for the rest of the video as a form of visual aid. So enjoy this week's episode. Sorry about that. I'm an idiot. It won't happen again, my loyal minions. And enjoy the rest of the episode. Okay, love you. Bye-bye. And we're back. Thank you guys for hanging out during that brief intermission. I had to collect my fucking composure and collect my thoughts and find my peace. I lost my peace for a second.

He robbed my piece from me with that FUCKING VIDEO! Okay, so now to touch back on Vampire Jack. I found another great picture. He looks great here. I don't know... I don't know what the artistic choice is behind the contact lenses. Because I've never met a vampire that has contacts. Now let's... okay, going back to the first part of that sentence. Have I ever met a vampire? No. Okay?

But if I did, would he probably be wearing contacts? No. Okay, what's the moral of the story here? The lesson that everyone should take home is that we need to bring back pirate blouses for men. We need to bring back frilly, frilly and delicate clothing for men. I'm talking crop tops. I'm talking printed tank tops. I'm talking pirate blouses. I'm talking empire waistline, empire neckline.

Maybe a nice cowl neck blouse for a man. One of these. Bring, bring, we bring back this but for men. A cowl neck top in vanilla. Man, we need to really get into that guys. I need someone to be on that. I want to see more male ya-ya's this year than, than any Instagram model, okay? I want to see man boobs. I want to see man boobs on my feed.

Give me man nipple, man boob, man underboob, man ya-ya. That's what I'm asking for. For Christmas, Mark Zuckerbergs, just send me some more of that. I found Vampire Jack on my explore page and I think my explore page could, honest to god, have me sent off somewhere. If someone ever got a hold of my iPhone and just opened Instagram, I think that I could... there would be grounds there to send me away.

to get help somewhere. I genuinely do think that. I'm farting. Actually, that could be poop, so I'm actually not gonna let that one rip. Part of the thing about having IBS, like being a god warrior, being a tummy warrior, is that you know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em, okay? When to let 'em rip and when to keep it in the pit. Keep it in the... When to farty hardy and when to...

Hold in the poopy, okay? I mean, you can put that on a t-shirt if you really wanted to. I would just own the IP. Is he this way? The rest of the hall from @vampirefreaks and I am absolutely obsessed. The vampire castle tee and the vampire long sleeve are just insanely comfortable and they look incredible. Vampire freaks. Oh, it's a whole clothing line about vampires. Alternative clothes for the spookily inclined. My mom.

I love goth bitches. Vampire Jack tortures me on a daily basis. I want to love him. I do. He just he drives me up the wall, dude. I can't, I cannot figure out my feelings about Vampire Jack and I will keep bringing him up until I figure it out. So buckle up, broski nation. We are at war with the Vampire Kingdom.

Oh my god, if there's any AO3 authors who follow me, please, please write that. I know there are some AO3 bitches out there that, like, write novels on AO3. Hey, myself included. Okay? Myself included. You think I'm excluding myself from that? No. I'm in that. If anyone wants to write about the warring kingdoms of Broski Nation and Vampire Jack's Vampire Kingdom, then, look, you can do that. And you can send it to me. And I will read it on this podcast. Okay?

And it has to be in enemies to lovers. Okay? It has to be in enemies to lovers. It can't be too much of a slow burn because I don't got all day. Okay? I got about 48 minutes. Which is enough. Okay. Yeah, I think that my explore page could really have me sent off somewhere. Let's actually, let's take a look at my explore page. Not Trisha Paytas on my explore page. What is Trisha Paytas up to? Oh my god. She is so fucking real. I can't believe she's real. Oh my god.

Okay, I actually, I can't look at Trisha Paytas. Okay, here's what I really wanted to, uh, we need to get into this. Enough dilly-dallying, folks. I have been rewatching the golden age of Love Island, okay? I've been rewatching Love Island and I am rewatching season four, which is arguably the best season because it is. Danny and Jack, come on, bitch.

Even though they broke up and now Danny has a kid and Jack has a kid not with each other. I'm devastated babe. I'm absolutely gutted. Absolutely gutted. And Jack got hot dude. If any of you guys don't watch Love Island or didn't watch it this was the season like it was when I just graduated college it was like 2018 2019 I think the winner was announced 2019.

First of all, look at him. Dude, that's Jack! He was hot on Love Island, but he was like, "Yeah dude, look at this! That's crazy! I like him before! I liked him before, okay?" Like, he was definitely cute on Love Island, but he does not look like that anymore. Like, he's cute there. Who is that?! Hold on, let me find this one picture. I said-- Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

What is the deal with British people like this always being fucking sunburnt? Like they're all they're always just red. It's not even a tan. It's just like red. He's red in all of his photos. It's like a permanent redness. Look at it. Those are some short shorts, brother. Damn. I think it's just like when you're that white, dude, you don't tan. Okay. You just, your skin just, and then it peels off.

It's like bacon. And I'm what I talked about last time where I don't even burn. Okay, I just get moles. Well, I do burn. That's a lie. I burn and then it peels and then I get a mole and then I gotta go to the doctor. Okay, so the sun. White people and the sun were a match not meant to be. Okay, I am meant to be bundled in a wolf pelt.

Okay? Vegan. A vegan wolf pelt. Somewhere in northern Scandinavia. And do I know what Scandinavia means? No. Okay? And if you do, you're either lying or you have a superiority complex. If you- Tell me what countries are in Scandinavia. Is it even a country- Like, is it like- Okay. You know when you say like, oh, New England.

I bet so very few Americans could be like, "Oh, here are the four to five states in New England." Okay? If I say, "Oh, it's Scandinavia." What is that? 'Cause it's not a country. I'm just an idiot. The ramblings of a fucking idiot. What is Scandinavia? It's a region in Europe. It's a region. Scandinavia most commonly refers to Denmark, Norway, and Sweden, where they filmed Frozen. Okay? Where Frozen was filmed.

Where was filmed at Snow Basin Ski Resort in Utah? Though the story takes place at a... I'm obsessed with this. Where was Disney's Frozen filmed? It's an animated feature. While the first Frozen film was based in Norway, the second installment is inspired by Iceland. Now see, that's not Scandinavia, you fucking bitches. Did they use real wolves in Frozen? It's an animated movie!

Wolves.

in the movie Frozen. These wolves are shown to be inhabitants of the forest that is located outside of the capital village of Arendelle. They are seen stalking Anna, Kristoff, and Sven. "Rain Deers are better than people!" Oh my god! I should watch it tonight! Once Kristoff notices them, the trio begin rushing off and the wolves chase after the group immediately. These are based on real wolves? Y'all didn't have to train with real wolves to make those wolves. Like, are you being funny? Disney wiki fandom.

That's crazy. Why did they train with real wolves? That seems very dangerous and very unnecessary. Or at Target nationwide. "Reindeers are better than people." And you already know what I'm gonna say. You already know what I'm about to say. Kristoff from Frozen is the ideal man. Wasn't he-- who was he voiced by? John Krasinski? Jonathan Groff. Who the fuck is Jonathan Groff? He put-- oh wait, I knew that. I knew that. I knew that. I knew that. I did know that.

Oh my god. He was in Hamilton? Maybe I don't know who Jonathan Groff is. Maybe I lied. Hamilton is rated higher than Frozen? Yeah, this website fucking sucks. It's IMDB. Yeah, this website's a fucking scam. International Movie Database. Okay. Wait, go back to Kristoff. Kristoff? Ew, do you want to know? I'm actually not going to reveal that about myself. No, I will actually. In high school...

Oh, Jesus Christ. In high school, I used to read Kristoff and Elsa fanfics. I just like, I just really don't care anymore. I'll tell y'all whatever. I'll just like, so many podcasts and like interviews that I do, they're like, how do you, how do you separate your online persona from who you really are? And my answer is always, I don't.

I have no delineation. What I say on here is what I'm really fucking thinking. I don't have the brain power to come up with a separate persona. Oh my god, I need to go as Kristoff for Halloween. Did I say Kristoff and Elsa? I meant Kristoff and Anna.

It's been so long. Yeah, I used to read fanfiction because it wasn't even fanfiction. It was just like continuing... What's that called? Non... or canon? Non-canon? When you read it's just like a continuation of the normal storyline but it's that author's kind of interpretation. I was 15. I was just... I have got... Look at that! I have got to consume more of this content. Now what the fuck is that, girl? Christoph and drag.

Kristoff, uh, feminine, facial feminization surgery. Kristoff's new song in Frozen 2 challenges toxic masculinity. Period. And I do think Kristoff would have been better if it was played by John Krasinski, but that's just me and you can, you can absolutely crucify me for that. Okay? But you're wrong. You're wrong. Any character would be improved if it was played by John Krasinski.

What's the note? Come on, guys. Come on. And I will always love you. Stop. And I will always love you, girl singing. Desperation. The desperation in the...

That's literally me. Reindeers are better than people. This is video when she blocks her feet with her hands so she can focus. Well, no, I can do this. Don't. Don't block me. No. She changed my life. That changed my life. Okay, I totally fucked it up. I just listened to it. Okay, here it is. Reindeers are better than people.

I can't sing that fucking low! Rain. ♪ Rain deers are better than people ♪ YAAA! Oh bitch, I nailed that! Oh my god, I am Jacob Collier! I am Jacob Collier! ♪ Rain deers are better than people ♪ That was bad. Start it again. ♪ Rain deers are better ♪ Stupid. Stupid as fu- So stupid! What are we doing? My god!

Okay, Frozen Deluxe Edition. The fuck are their deluxe songs on a movie? Frozen movie soundtrack, guys. Frozen movie soundtrack. Frozen movie soundtrack. Here we go. Oh my god, I just got a full body chill down my spine because of Olaf's song "In Summer." Olaf is one of my favorite.

Okay, I'm gonna let the Disney adult come out. Frozen is without question one of the best animated movies of all time. And Olaf is therefore one of the best animated characters of all time. Olaf's character is what I want to be in my life. He is so funny and he was also a great friend to Anna and Elsa.

And I want to be a character like Olaf when I get my own Disney Pixar film because I'm speaking it into existence because it will happen. I just got a call from Walt himself confirming it. Actually, we're talking about it this weekend.

I want an Olaf type of character. I imagine it kind of... It wouldn't be a snowman. It would be almost like a very goofy animal. I'm imagining maybe a chicken. Maybe a hog of some sort. Imagine like a Timon or a Pumbaa sort of moment. Maybe a squawking bird.

Or a little ratty animal. That's what I'm imagining I would be. Or kind of a very meaty, massy animal. I imagine that's what I would be. And for some reason when I do voiceover auditions, I always just kind of really lean very New Jersey. Don't know why. Yeah, boss! That's what I imagine. Yeah, boss, get him! I'm on it, boss! That's what my animated character would be. I don't know why he would be like a henchman.

I don't know what that's about. Two-- also two characters I really enjoy are-- when was the last time y'all watched Hercules? Remember Hercules? Those two little-- the little minions that Hades has? Pain and Panic. These guys. They're so funny! They were so funny! The animation is so funny! It's so like slapstick and they're always getting like ripped apart and burned and shoved and slapped. It's so stupid!

Oh my god, when they show up in the Hercules merch. This movie is so good after we watch Hercules and Frozen tonight. What was I talking about? Damn it. Oh, Olaf. Olaf is just such a good character. In summer, dude, if any of y'all have ever been to Disney World, they have a Frozen ride and there's a whole Olaf...

Olaf room where he's doing "End Summer" that whole part and I went on it with my friend and I filmed it for a YouTube video which you can go watch on youtube.com/brittany_broski. You can go watch that. It's called "I Got Drunk in 11 Countries." We went on the frozen. When Olaf came I started, I was drunk. I started screaming like he was Ariana Grande. So drunk.

Because in Epcot, you do the drinking around the world if you've never been. Epcot's one of the parks where there's countries. You walk around the Epcot globe that's in the middle of the park and you walk through all these different countries. And so you can have a drink in Norway and Mexico and Japan and whatever. And so we did that and I was so fucking drunk by the time we got to Epcot.

The Frozen ride, which was in the little Norway part. Then I got on that ride with a bunch of little, little children. Little children just running around at my feet. And I was like bouncing up and down giddy to get on this fucking ride. We get on. We enter the Olaf room. And I scream like I just met Ariana Grande. Like Ariana Grande just opened the tour and did...

and the light shut off, I screamed like that's what just happened. When in reality it was a little like animatronic of Olaf like this like in summer. That's what I did. Okay? And I'm sorry about me blowing out this fucking mic. This poor, this poor, poor microphone. I spit on it and lick and suck and gag and choke all over it.

I'm licking and sucking and kind of like gagging a little bit on it sometimes. It's just like, sorry guys. Sorry about that, guys. What was I gonna? Fuck me! I didn't even get around to telling you my Love Island thing. I've been rewatching Love Island and I think they need to make a Love Island for plus size people. It would be called Love Island Plus with the little plus emoji.

Okay? And maybe Ed Sheeran would host it because his album was called Plus or Edition or whatever the fuck it was. Or maybe it was called Divide. I don't know. No, it was called Plus! He has like a... Ed Sheeran trademarked like mathematical signage. Oh, it's called Divide. Okay. Hey, scrap that. Scrap that idea. That's stupid. He got married? Who the fuck is Cherry Seaborn? He has children? Ed Sheeran has children? Jupiter?

Two daughters? When did Ed Sheeran have fucking daughters, dude? He got knighted? When did Ed Sheeran get knighted? Edward Christopher Sheeran, MBE. He got fucking knighted. Oh, that just made me itch. No, I'm so smart. He has an album called X, Equals, and Divide. Born in Halifax, West Yorkshire, and raised in Framlingham? That's not a real fucking place. British people are lying.

That's not a real place, by the way. Yeah, me too, babe. You're not special. Ed Sheeran, you're not special. I can do that too. Okay? I just chose not to share them with the world because they're too good. Okay.

I was an Ed Sheeran-ator for like 30 minutes because I loved One Direction. And when I found out that Ed Sheeran wrote, what's the song? "Little Lies." ♪ If you can take my broken heart ♪ ♪ It might feel like this ♪ ♪ If you wanna go ♪ ♪ And we can start it all ♪ That song. ♪ Start it all over ♪ Over again. Oh my God, Louis' verse. I have chills all over my body.

I just got a chill down my body. Over Again, Louis' part. This whole album is so good. Take me home. Holy shit. Heart Attack, Over Again, Back For You? Wait, what was that song? I'm gonna save you.

No, no, no. That's uh... that's from the first album. Nobody compares. Truly, madly, deeply. Holy shit. This is the expanded edition. This is a coveted item. Night Changes has a billion streams. I thought Drag Me Down had a billion streams.

God, Maiden in the AM is so good. Oh my god, I'm still such a Directioner. I'm gonna-- okay, here is everyone's homework for tonight. Last episode, I think your homework was to watch Aquamarine and House Musical 2. You should have done that if you didn't. Hey, Brofky Nation police are gonna come knocking at your door. It's a mandatory viewing. Um, tonight's homework is you need to watch Frozen, you need to watch Hercules, and you need to listen to Take Me Home by One Direction from start to finish, back to front, front to back. That is everyone's homework for today.

What is right now? Yes! Damn this- oh my god I love One Direction. What- was it like- hold on, what was the tea? Did James Corden tease that- I like saw something about 1D coming back together for something and I literally scrolled past it. I was like I can't verbally or like reading comprehensionally process that right now.

Um, nor do I want to. Like, it was just a lot for me, so I just scrolled. And I didn't watch Harry and James Corden either because I love him so much I fucking can't. I can't do it. Harry Styles says he'd never say never to a One Direction reunion.

Harry Styles joined James Corden as a guest of the final episode of The Late Late Show on Thursday. During the emotional farewell, the singer addressed the possibility of a One Direction reunion, a comeback that was rumored for Corden's last episode but later dispelled. During the last "Spill Your Guts or Eat Your Guts" segment on Thursday, Styles reignited hope for a 1D reunion. "Yes or no, will there be a One Direction reunion? Will it ever happen?" said Styles, reading the question.

I fear that it's not a yes or no question. I think I would never say never to that. If there was a time when we wanted to do it, I don't see why we wouldn't." Oh my god. That's a lot. That's actually a lot for me to kind of like... Yeah. Yeah.

Stiles also talked about the Grammy Awards mishap during his performance when the turntable he and his dancers practiced on malfunctioned and began to spin in the wrong direction. The singer said that leading up to the performance he had been stressed about both singing and the complex choreography, saying, "I hadn't even thought about the idea that it might go the wrong way." Harry, that's show business, babe. Harry, if you have questions about show business, you give me a call. You give me a call right here on my Mickey Mouse phone. Only a select few have this phone number: Walt, Disney, Mark,

Zuckerberg, Elon Musk. You know, only a few really know to reach me here. I really, really caution them against it unless it's kind of an emergency because I am recording, we're on air, we're live.

But Harry, if you have questions, I can always hit pause. I can really dig in the arsenal of the archive, if you will, of knowledge and of wisdom and of advice that I can share with you about how this industry really works. So go ahead, give me a call on the Mickey Mouse landline.

And under here I also have the nuke codes. So if you need me to take care of anything, you just let me know. I've got a little red button under here. Someone will come running in and you know, it'll be a whole thing. So you just let me know. And wait, there's more to this article. When we finished, oh, this is him talking about the thing. When we finished, I was like, I'm so angry this happened. And then I thought the only thing that's gonna happen is I'm gonna shout at someone and it'll still be the same. Styles continued. And then they'll think I'm a dick. I love him.

I love him. Harry said anger and violence gets us nowhere. So we can just talk it through and say, "Hey, why did that happen? Let's make sure it doesn't happen again. And let's maybe prepare in the future for if this does happen again." I love him so much. You will never, ever find a compilation of Harry diva moments. Let's look one up. Compilation of Harry being a sassy diva.

See this is like a joke video. Please don't take this video too seriously, she said.

See, this is all just like funny, funny compilations. So I think like, I just love him. I thought I had something insightful to say. I don't. I just love him a lot. Guys, that'll kind of do it for this episode of the broski report. Sorry. Excuse me. The broski report starring me, your host, Brittany Broski. Okay. Tune in next week.

Because there will be another episode, okay? You bitches are preying on my downfall. You hope there won't be another episode, but guess what? There will be. Follow us on all the socials. We have TikTok, Instagram, that's it. We have Twitter as well, but I'm not really on Twitter. Five stars. Go ahead and rate me five stars. If you're feeling Christian, if you're feeling inclined, if you're feeling like a kind person, if you're feeling like an evil, mean-spirited person, don't leave us five stars. But just know that you're an evil and mean-spirited person.

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