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Hey guys! Welcome back to the Brozki Report! Today, yeah, we have so many
Y'all remember that scene from Hoodwinked? Do you remember Hoodwinked, first of all? There was, bitch, Hoodwinked had a comeback recently on TikTok because of that fucking goat that y'all said reminds you of me. Fuck you, first of all. Second of all, LMAO, okay? First of all, hey! Second of all, I laughed. The, did I? Did I, did I, did I, did I? Where he's rocking back and forth on his horns, on his little, wow, that is me.
on his little porch he has built himself a rocky chair out of his horns and he's playing the banjo and his little legs are swinging because they're just dangling in midair because he's rocking back and forth on his horns damn if that ain't me what's his name this podcast would be nothing without google who was the goat from hoodwinked japeth the goat you guys
I'm looking for Granny Pucket's house. Granny Pucket! Just like so unhelpful, like immediately unhelpful. I am looking for Granny Pucket. Granny Pucket! I love him! This is cinema. When was the last time a movie like this was made? Very long time ago, I can tell you that right now. Everything I say...
They even gave him the little intonation that Appalachian people have. Everything I say. Oh, that is so funny. Did I? Did I? Did I? Did I? That is me, dude. Who plays him? Japeth. Japeth the goat. Japeth. Japeth the goat voice actor. Billy Benji Gaither.
He is from Mobile, Alabama. Gloria Gaither's son. Who is Gloria Gaither? Damn, she's 82. She is a Christian singer-songwriter, author, speaker, editor, and academic. I know that's right. She's married to Bill Gaither. And together they've written more than 700 songs. The ASCAP named them Christian Songwriters of the Century. What did she write? Gloria Gaither... Gloria Gaither...
Top songs. Oh, they had a band, the Gaither Vocal Band. I will praise him because he lives. I am loved. Do I know any of these? I bet these are all country. Let me listen to it real quick. Actually, let's look up a live version. I believe in a hill called Mount Cavalry. Not to go off on a rant here really quick. Not even a rant. It's more so, I wonder if it would be easier if I was...
Like the 2014, 2013 maybe. If I was a 2010 version of myself, if I was 13 years old again, and I held the same convictions and principles that I held at 13 versus at 27, I wonder how much easier life would have been if I didn't fall on the left side of issues. If I wasn't
leftist if I wasn't curious about the world and its complexities and its differences and communities and how love is unifying and all the fucking shit I talk about on this podcast. You know, how living life with an open mind and respect first and foremost for other people and other cultures is so important. I had continued on as a 13 year old with my very
conservative family's values and my Christian values. I got baptized at the age of 13. You know, if I'd carried that into my adulthood, I probably would have found a religious man and we probably would have gotten married. And I probably, and I'm just kind of pontificating here, but I imagine that I would have been very unhappy because I've never felt more in tune with myself and my potential and what
truly I am to my core than right now. Maybe moving away from home had something to do with that. Maybe, you know, the self-discovery process through getting fired and the pandemic and all the beautiful things that have come into my life since then. Maybe that is a factor of it. But I also think that the internet truly is
Like into high school, Tumblr was very formative for me. And I usually talk about that in a joking way, but Tumblr and Twitter for me in high school opened my eyes to a world that I was not seeing on a daily basis. You know, I was talking to friends who lived in different states, who had different sexualities than me, who were a different race than me, different religions than me. And I wasn't really getting that at school.
Not to say that there wasn't diversity in my schools, but it wasn't celebrated the way that it kind of is online. And I wonder if I hadn't had that in my life, how different I would be. So for all the brain rot and all the horrible things that come out of the internet, we've never been more accessible to each other. And we've never been more forthcoming with information, I think. I've learned more about
you know, cultures and countries that I never could have placed on a map as a high schooler. I'll be very, very honest with you. I've learned so much and there is a desire and curiosity to keep learning and to know more that I think would not have existed if I had stayed sort of, you know, if I had stayed in the circles that
The people I went to school with did both high school and college because I went to A&M and the thing in A&M is MRS degree ring by spring, you know, MRS degree. Like you get married as you're graduating college, you're 22 graduating. You should have your Aggie ring and an engagement ring.
And I didn't do that. And I felt like a failure. And literally so many people that I went to college with are married with children now at 27. And I guess that's a normal fucking age to do it. But out here, out here, I couldn't imagine. I could not imagine having being responsible for another another life right now.
And the ethical decision to bring a child into the world that we are currently struggling to live in with the climate change crisis and war and terror and food scarcity and fucking wealth, just everything. I really wonder how different I would have been, you know, if I had never left the church, if I had stayed in Texas.
And if I had let other people's principles and morals and convictions outwardly press in on me, you know what I mean? Like if I had let that sort of press in on me and break down my walls and I became a vessel for other people's desires, I wonder how fucking miserable I would be. But would there also be a sense of purpose and community that comes from the Christian faith?
And I've talked about it before, and I get a lot of beautiful, very vulnerable messages from you guys when I talk about it. It is a very human thing to miss the belonging of a church family, you know, of being in a congregation, of worshiping in a room together every week, of getting to know these people in a familial way, familial as in family, because that is, I think, a lost...
It's a lost art. And when you get into these mega churches, you know, and you just lose it. These small town churches. And they have their problems. Trust. But like, I don't know. I do find myself reminiscing in a good way about my time in the church sometimes. And I see stuff like this and that indescribable feeling of when it is a worship song. And I put myself back in the mindset of when I was a practicing, very religious Christian. Right.
some of the lyrics would just hit. They would hit. You want to, you want to find comfort in this otherworldly omnipotent being that you can cast your worries onto, that it will be okay. And that there is a plan and that it's not in your hands. It's in his hands and just be still and have faith and all that shit. I mean, I used to just, it provided such a comfort and I know that that's what religion is. I know that that's the point.
I mean, that's truly the point. And when you decide to leave the faith, you lose that. And I've talked about it before, and I know a lot of you can relate to that, but it extends beyond just that statement, you know, of like envying the faithful or missing the comfort that that provided you or the stability or peace to be able to sleep at night and not worry over these things or not to take the world on your own shoulders.
And I don't have an answer for it. You know, my answer right now is I reject the man-made quality of religion as it stands, specifically for American Christianity. I reject it. And overall, I resent it. And I am happy now. But I always wonder, I always, always wonder if I had been the married Christian girl with two kids by the time I was 27, what would she want? What would she want?
And am I doing right now what that Britney would want? And I think the answer is fuck yes. The answer is absolutely yes. This is the dream life that I never would have thought even a potential reality. And so I'm, I mean, I say this every fucking week, like how grateful I am on so many different levels that I get to do this and
that there is an audience that cares. There's an audience that is willing to sit down and listen to the bullshit that I have to say. So thanks. And back to Gloria Gaither. I don't know any of the songs from the Gaither family, but I'm sure they're great. Okay, these are all from the 90s, pretty much. Okay, what the fuck was I talking about? I was talking about Hoodwinked. I was talking about The Goat. I was talking about...
Oh my God, it came to me. The schnitzel scene from "Hoodwinked." That's what I was talking about! The fucking schnitzel scene. Sorry for the God rant. Let's get back to "Hoodwinked." Let's get back to the American classic animated film "Hoodwinked." ♪ Schnitzel, the favorite treat ♪ ♪ For little girls and boys to eat ♪ ♪ Schnitzel, there's schnitzel there ♪ ♪ We eat schnitzel all day long ♪ Schnitzel "Hoodwinked."
We're gonna play this now I'm gonna memorize it. - That's such a bad job. After all, I bring much joy to the children. - The animation is so scary and bad, but it's kind of camp. - Mommy, I want a schnitzel. - God, they, if y'all ever do a hoodwink too, which I think they did.
Hood winked too. Yep, came out in 2011 and I bet it was fucking bad. Yep, it was. It got an 11%. 4.7 out of 10. 2.1 out of 5 on Letterboxd. Bill Hader's in it? I did not know that. Hayden Panettiere? What is she up to now? Glenn Close? Wayne Newton? Heidi Klum? Joan Cusack? Amy Poehler? Oh my god, I had no idea all these people were in it.
They did another one. Open season is a great movie too. Oh my God. I'm gonna watch open season tonight. Hoodwinked three. Okay. So there is not one.
Okay, if you guys are looking to change that and you need, you know, a D-list celebrity to act in your movie, look no further than me, guys. I can play. If the guy who played the schnitzel man is not available, guys, book me. Okay, I've got my email and my bio. If you need a schnitzel man, you're looking at her. You're looking at her.
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So go to ZocDoc.com slash broski and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash broski. ZocDoc.com slash broski. I want a schnitzel! Cinching at baby. Do you see all that shit? I mean, I'm kind of, I'm like super late on that. Obviously, I was locked into cinching at baby. Who wants to go to the Four Seasons at Orlando? Me!
Yes, mother. I would be absolutely delighted to indulge in the Four Seasons Orlando Perhaps we could hop over to Disney World Yeah, I saw those videos that shit was crazy. I'm imagining fully sentient baby as Again casted in this with me. Okay, so fully sentient baby. He could be the one that's like I want a schnitzel I want a schnitzel! YOLO YO YO YO! They're all following him
Okay, can I ask a question that you guys are going to get mad at? What is a schnitzel? And also, why do I need him?
What is schnitzel? I did not know schnitzel came on a stick. I've actually had schnitzel before because in Fredericksburg, America, every time I've gone there, it's a little German town. You can get schnitzel, but it's like this big, flat, fried. I don't even know if it's chicken or pork or beef. I don't know what a schnitzel is. I just know it's fried. And yeah, it's fried. And then there's like gravy and taters to the side. What is schnitzel on a stick, dude?
Schnitzel is a dish of thin, pounded meat. What? Ew, bro! That's breaded and pan-fried until crispy and golden brown. The word comes from the German verb schnitten, which means to cut. Schnitzel is a culinary staple in German-speaking countries and is associated with Austrian and German cuisines.
Meat. You can use almost any thin, boneless cut of meat, such as veal, pork, chicken, beef, mutton, or turkey. What about raccoon? Y'all doing raccoon schnitzel? What about possum? Gator. In Florida, are the German Floridians doing gator schnitzel?
Gator schnitzel with a little bit of Cajun sauce on- Ooh, wait! Ooh, wait a second! Floridian schnitzel, and it is a gator that is just pounded to hell, beat to hell, fried, lemon juice on top, okay? And some Cajun rub. Ooh! Cajun rub. And then there's some- Ooh, and there's some okra on the side, and maybe some seafood boil. Wait, you could have a fried gator schnitzel with a seafood boil.
Oh, I bet that'd be real, real, real good. Do y'all watch those ASMR? Well, you probably don't because you're not fucking weird like me. Actually, I take that back. Y'all are weirdos. So this might land with the right audience. Those seafood boil mukbangs, mukbangs, where they get that big glass bowl. Oh, I'm salivating thinking about it. The girl I like to watch, her name is Eat With Spicy With Tea.
Eat with spicy tea. What is her fucking username? Eat, eat with tea, YouTube. Eat spicy with tea, yes. This girl, oh y'all, and y'all know B-Love. I've talked about B-Love before, me and my mother, we love B-Love. We used to watch B-Love all the time. Oh, that is just sinful looking. Crab seafood boil mukbang, seafood mukbang, de-shelled lobster, seafood boil mukbang.
ASMR eating, 2.5 million views. This is the Red 40 challenge and she won. Oh dude. Okay, so it's this. She'll have this big, god dang.
Let's click this. Okay, I won't make y'all listen to it if you don't like it. But it's this big-ass glass bowl of... It's a concoction that they make. And it's like a mixture of Cajun seasoning, seafood boil... Like, all that... What's the brand that fucking makes it? Zatarain's? Zatarain's? But they'll make their own. I know B-Love has her own smackalicious sauce that is...
Dang and they'll put the big boiled eggs in there with the potatoes and the corn and then the this is the kicker is they'll have some cut up uh uh jalapenos or peppers in there and then onions but it's like caramelized onions and they're those big chunky I mean they almost look like noodles and so you dip the crab oh my god I'm about to fucking oh I'm drooling like a dog
You take the lobster tail or the king crab leg or whatever and you break it in half and then they do that perfect where it comes out with the filament still in it. And then you take it and you dip it in the thing and then you do the lemon juice on top and you can see the seeds come out of lemon juice. And you know those rich restaurants where they'll have that little shower cap around the lemon so the seeds don't come out? Need some of that. They'll do that and then they'll put the, and usually they have long nails and so they'll use the nails
and nails to pick up the onions and put it on there and they take that bite god i need a seafood mukbang now i need a crab boil now oh my stomach is speaking to me in tongues right now dude these seafood oh i can't watch them they make me so hungry oh i'm salivating
But sometimes though, sometimes, dude, I do like to watch the crawfish ones because I love crawfish and they do it real good in Houston. I was just in Houston recently with my mom and I, we went to a, what is that called? I'm actually, let me shout it out. What's it called? It's on Lake Conroe.
Monty's Lighthouse in Montgomery, Texas. That's where we went. Um, everyone there was real nice. There's a nice little patio out there. That restaurant has been so many different things over the years. It used to be Sam's boat. I think that was the one that was there for a really long time. There's lore. There's lore in that little strip mall. Um,
It's Monty's Lighthouse now and they oh it was so delicious and they do the Cajun seasoning on it And there's that good juice. It's in the bottom of the thing and I got three pounds of crawfish and it comes out with the taters in the corn and you can get that well, I forget what they call it crawdad sauce or something and it's I'm literally salivating like an animal and
Yeah, it's like butter and Cajun seasoning. And then there's also this creamy sauce, but whatever. And you do, oh, and it's so good. And they were big. The crawfish were big this year. But it's that, I'll do that. But I don't like the shrimp with the eyeballs on it and all this. Oh my God, I saw this crazy TikTok yesterday that about made me vomit. This girl was like, shrimp mukbang. And it was those big shrimp.
And it was in the sauce, whatever. I was like, yeah, I'm tapped into this. I thought she was going to peel the shrimp and take it out. She bit the head off. What are you talking about? With those little... And the eyeball. Look, if that's what you're into, do it. I just don't. I'm scrolling. I'm not going to watch that, dude. I can't. I physically cannot watch it. All the comments, too, were like, I know she didn't just bite the head. And my sister had a true story. And I just love that little guy.
Hold on, I gotta look up the script. Shrimp from Shark Tale. My sister had a baby and I took it over after she passed away and the baby lost all its legs and arms and now it's just a stump. I take care of it with my wife and it's growing and it's fairly and it's difficult because I'm working a second shift. It's a fact. To put food on the table, the love I see in that little guy's face, it just makes it worth it. True story.
with his little shrimp bar. True story. Oh God, Shark Tale is so good. You wanna know some lore about me? I bought the Shark Tale 2, or the Shark Tale soundtrack on iTunes back in like 2012 because there's a song on it that you couldn't find it on YouTube or streaming. You had to buy the album. Shark Tale soundtrack.
It's the one where, and Justin Timberlake was on it. Good Foot. Holy shit. It was Good Foot. Oh my God. Hold on. I'm saving this for Spotify right now. It's called Good Foot by Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. See, it's fucking grayed out on the album. Horrible. Look, here's the Shark Tale soundtrack and it's not on it. Look, Three Little Birds by Sean Paul and Ziggy Marley.
The Car Wash remix with Christina Aguilera and Missy Elliott, Good Foot, all the good songs are fucking grayed out. Got to Be Real, Mary J. Blige, Will Smith, Gold Digger by Ludacris, all of these. This is so upsetting. I bet it's on YouTube. Yeah, look, by Timbaland, 2004. That's crazy. Oh, I love this album. I'm about to, I wonder if I still have it. How does iTunes work on iTunes? I literally think I bought it.
Let's see if I still have it. Actually, I'll do this later. Okay, anyway. Anyway, back to the mukbangs. Yeah, if you're ever passing through Montgomery, Texas, if you're ever on 105 through Texas, go ahead and stop at Monty's Lighthouse. That's just delicious. And Fajita Jack's is a family favorite as well. Fajita Jack's makes fajitas where they bring them out, you get whatever you want,
Chicken steak shrimp whatever and there is a dipping sauce and it's really not that you know crazy when you think of It's just very it's so good Garlic butter with some like chili something in it and it's a dipping sauce for the fajitas y'all. Oh My god, it's so delicious. Those two spots are so good. Okay. Now this I was talking about um
Yeah, man, I'm so locked into this. Now, what was I talking about this for? Oh, schnitzel. Oh, gator. What the hell? Gator. What is schnitzel? The way that my tabs gradually like I can follow my train of thought that way. I need to start doing that more because me sitting here for 10 minutes in silence trying to backtrack through my own thoughts is just a nightmare. You wouldn't last a day in the asylum where they raised me.
Anyway, schnitzel on a stick. Why is schnitzel? Let me just, why is schnitzel bad for you? Because it's freaking good. That's why. Schnitzel on a stick. That does not look appetizing to me. I'm actually, I'm so sorry to say. I'm lying. It does. That looks good.
♪ Schnitzel, the favorite treat ♪ ♪ For little girls and boys to eat ♪ ♪ Schnitzel is the best ♪ ♪ We eat schnitzel all day long ♪ Oh, that used to kill me as a kid. There's a scene here where one of the kids, they're like throwing schnitzel on a stick up in the air. They're like, "Yalala, lalala." And one of the kids takes one and shoves it up his nose and his eyes go different ways. Used to make me absolutely crack up as a child. Oh, I hated this rabbit. Damn, this movie's tea, honestly. This movie is really tea.
Because he was an evil little fuck. He was an evil little fuck. Did I? Did I? Did I?
Okay, now let's go back to, I was talking about schnitzel because of the German guy. Okay, now when we're talking about positive German representation in media, I would say hoodwinked is a great example. I would also say the guy from Frozen, okay? Yoo-hoo, big summer blowout, big summer blowout. Now is he German?
Who says, "Yoo-hoo, big summer blowout." Okun is actually quite popular among fans, despite being a minor character. Does Okun have a husband? Was Okun a top? The adult in the sauna is clearly implied to be his husband. Best yet, Okun and his partner have a family. Imagine gay people having a family. That is unheard of. Okun nationality.
What nationality is Oaken? Okay, now we're tapped into r/Frozen. We have landed, guys, we've landed on the Frozen subreddit. It took us long enough to get here. He's Norwegian, but a sort of Swedish more than a Norwegian accent. Fuck, so he's not even German. All white people look the same. All white people look the same.
It would make sense for him to be Norwegian considering how Frozen is kind of based off of Norway. Well, yeah, 'cause in Epcot, the Frozen ride is in Norway, bro. So yeah, duh, it's in Norway. Idiots never been to Disney World. Hoo-hoo, big summer blowout! German characters in movies. Edna Mode is not fucking German.
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, okay? Rapunzel is not German Snow White. Okay, I don't care if the lore is German. I care about the character. Jessica Rabbit's German? This episode is sponsored by Factor. Warmer, sunnier days are calling. Are you gonna answer?
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That's code broski50 at factormeals.com slash broski50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Oh my God, y'all. We didn't even get to what the fuck I wanted to talk about today. We're pivoting. We're pivoting away from hoo-hoo big summer blowout. We're pivoting to Robert Downey Jr. Let me tell y'all something, okay?
I've talked about this a little bit before. It's time to absolutely lock in. This is on the docket for today. Okay, everyone pull out your pen and paper. Robert Downey Jr.,
Everyone knows I love him. Everyone knows that Sherlock Holmes, Iron Man 2, all that. I've talked about how formative those movies were to me. Okay. And that I love him as a person. He's very charming. He's very whatever. He inspires me to be, he's what I want to be. Okay. On a personal level. No, I don't want to be an actor. I want to be like, in every interview you see with him, he is so witty. He's so charming. He's so quick. That's what I would like to emulate in my life. Now,
Robert Downey Jr. in 1992 starred in the film Chaplin. And let me see if I got that year right. 1992. He starred in the film Chaplin. Now, if you know anything about Charlie Chaplin, you know that he's very formative to the beginning of cinema as we know it now, of cinema.
movies and talkies and silent films and whatever. He was very, very transformative and he was an innovator and he was a superstar and he was, you know, whatever. Now, he was so problematic. Most people were, okay? Most of the fucking, I mean, it's very hard to talk about anything
Honestly, ever in pop culture without mentioning that someone had some crazy view of something or had some horrible marriage history or like beat his wife or abused his kids or was rich or the drug problem, whatever. Like in entertainment, it's sort of tit for tat, like quid pro quo. I feel like Chaplin is one of those people that.
That is so interesting as a case study, a character study of what a pivotal time in entertainment history going from, you know, the 20s, 30s into the 40s, 50s and him becoming an old man and so many things happening and.
how quickly life changed, wartime, you know, and going from trying to get people to see what he wanted to do with the physical comedy and, you know, the penguin walk and all this stuff. And it was like,
seeing that come to life and then the legacy that he created and all that, whatever. I'm not trying to suck him off, obviously. I'm just saying that, especially living in Hollywood, it's everywhere. You cannot talk about Hollywood without seeing a picture of Charlie Chaplin and that fucking mustache. So RDJ in taking on this role, you know, it's such a colorful role and it's such a colorful life and it's such a complex man to get right because, you know,
With all the positive things he did, there was just as much, if not more, negative attributes and qualities and decisions that he made. And it's such an interesting story. And so RDJ plays him. And this is young RDJ, real cute RDJ. I think this is his first Oscar nom. I don't think he won because he just won his first Oscar for Oppenheimer, which is crazy. But so Chaplin...
I watched so many, like, this was in high school. I had a hyper fixation on this movie and on RDJ specifically in this movie. It was, it's a very long movie, by the way. It's like three something hours. And he prepared for it. Let's read this. He says...
At a certain point, I had a one-way mirror with a TV playing VHS tapes of his old films, and I would try to match up where his face was and mine and literally just mimic him for hours and hours over a course of weeks and months. I employed every single way I could try to show up for that role. Crazy. Yeah, this movie is nuts, and it really started me on this whole kick of all these crazy RDJ movies, and then in this sphere...
I don't know if y'all like, A, care, or B, can relate to this. My friend Meg is the only person I've met in my life who can relate to this that isn't my dad, okay? There's a very specific group of actors that I'm about to talk about around the early 2000s that were top of the marquee, like name and lights. Every fucking movie featured one of these men, okay? I had a
Hyper fixation. My Tumblr was half One Direction, half DILF, okay? The movie Ocean's Eleven, not the original with the Rat Pack, the reimagination, the 2001 remake of Ocean's Eleven, starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Julia Roberts, all these crazy people, okay? It's just superstar cast.
changed my life. I think that was the first movie I watched as a kid where I was like, this is an adult movie, but it's smart and interesting. I was able to keep up. I was able to keep up
But then rewatch after rewatch, I would start to realize more and more things. So basically, if you've never seen Ocean's Eleven, it's about a heist. It's about a heist of a Vegas casino. And they pull it off through crazy schematics and all these, you know, they all work together. And it's the cadence of...
the RDJ archetype. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, they're very smooth-talking, charming schmoozers. They get what they want because they talk you into what they want. And I watched this movie and I was blown away at first. This is in high school, I think, like late middle school, early high school when me and my dad watched it. And the dialogue was so impressive to me at first. I was like, it's so...
You forget they're acting. And I love movies like that because it's so believable. But it's also because George Clooney and Brad Pitt were playing themselves. Like, that helps. And I don't know if this was before or after Matt Damon had done Jason Bourne, had done Bourne Identity. Actually, I think it came out the same year. Bourne Identity 2002. So, I mean, this was around the same time. So it was this...
They were just everywhere. And then Matt Damon, of course, had his Good Will Hunting moment with Robin Williams in the late 90s. And so I just think that that whole era was so impactful to me. I watched so many George Clooney movies, so many Brad Pitt movies, so many Matt Damon movies, so many RDJ movies. Because when I like someone, I freak out. I don't know how to like them normal. And that's always been the case for me. So RDJ, going back to him,
Chaplin was one of those watches where I think I watched Sherlock Holmes and I fell in love with him. I fell in love with him as a person, as an actor, as a character, even as his Sherlock. Then, of course, Iron Man came out in 2008. And then the sequel in what, 2011? Was that when Iron Man 2 came out? Anyway, you have to go back.
He was in a movie called Gothica, Gothicana. He was in a movie called The Judge, which is tearjerker. He was in this movie, which...
I'm adding this to, if y'all remember last week's episode when I talked about the Aperol Spritz routine, where you get a nice, you listen to the playlist called Aperol Spritz on Spotify, which is like Bossa Nova, take a nice shower, have a cold drink, watch a nice summer movie in nice pajamas with some ambient lighting. Okay, that's the Aperol Spritz routine. Add this movie to the rotation. This movie, it's so corny and cheesy, but it's one of my favorite movies of all time.
It's called Only You and it stars RDJ and Marissa Tomai. And it's from the 80s. I think it's like 1985 or 1989 something. He is so young and cute in it. And Marissa Tomai is so gorgeous. And basically the plot is when Marissa Tomai's character is a little girl, they do a Ouija board. And she asks, what's the name of the man I'm going to marry?
And it spells out Damon Bradley. And she's like, oh my God. And so up until her adult life, she's like, Damon Bradley, Damon Bradley. She's remembered this name. She's about to get married to this other guy where she's like, yeah, it's okay. You know, he's good to me. He's got a good job. He's good to me. I guess this will be my life. Me gets a call one day or, or, or something happens where the name Damon Bradley flashes across her, her life and,
And she decides to go on this crazy goose chase to Italy to go find Damon Bradley and meets RDJ along the way and all that. I'm not going to ruin it. Okay. It is so good. It is so good. And he, you can tell that he's trying to find his, he's like mid twenties and he's trying to find that level of like,
Let the guy improv sort of thing let him be himself because there's only so much you can script when a person like that is so Like you you can try to reel Robin Williams in as the genie in Aladdin But he's gonna do what he wants to do at the end of the day and you're gonna like it cuz it's fucking Robin Williams And that is are you are watching magic happen? So you better adjust the script around him and animate what he says sort of thing. You know what I mean?
RDJ, in my mind, is a similar, like, as Tony Stark, as Holmes. Let him go, and then everyone needs to adapt around him because the brain is going so fast. It's moving at 100 miles an hour. Let it go. Don't try to reel it in. So in this movie, you can tell it's this sort of in-between thing of he's trying to find his...
His his acting cadence, I think that isn't too much just him being himself, like trying to learn how to play a character, which will eventually, you know, as he gets into Chaplin and all the rest of the the major films that he's in, he finds that balance. But, yeah, I think that those movies were so, so important to me.
I don't know why. I really don't know why. Like there was no reason for me as a 14 year old to be watching Chaplin and like analyzing it the way that I was or the born identity or oceans 11. No, absolutely no fucking reason. I was obsessed though. That and parts of the Caribbean, dude, dude, my bedroom. Wait, this is actually cute. I haven't thought about this in a while. My bedroom in high school.
was themed like Hollywood. It was themed like Hollywood Boulevard. And I had this nice crimson red bedspread and this lamp that was all, it looked like a chandelier. And then I had a Hollywood sign sticker above my bed, like a big sign. And then on the walls, I had all my favorite movies. So I had Ferris Bueller's Day Off. These were framed movie posters. I had Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of Black Pearl, Sherlock Holmes, the original, not the Game of Shadows, Star Wars, A New Hope. And then my bathroom was Twilight Zone themed, which is so cute because now I have a Twilight Zone tattoo. I had the shower curtain, had all the little things on it. Let me pull it up. Twilight Zone intro.
All these little things, like equals empty squared, it was this eye that blinks and a broken window and a floating door and all this. And then the spiral as you're entering the Twilight Zone. I had my shower curtain said, you are now entering the Twilight Zone, which I was like, that's so silly because it's like a shower. And then I had a big clock on the wall that had the spiral in it and the...
Arms, the hands of the clock were all funky and like didn't work. It was so fucking cute. And then I had black and white towels. It was a vibe. Okay. I had an aesthetic identity as a teenager. If that is not clearly evident as my adulthood will prove.
But yeah, my whole room. And then I had a little section of my room that was all my One Direction and like music posters. I had the Beatles everywhere, 1975, One Direction. I had, I saw Paul McCartney in 2012. I had a poster on the wall of that and I would just look at it and sob. I had my little piano in the corner and my harmonicas. I had a whole set of harmonicas that my parents bought me as a kid. Ah!
I've been living this shit. I am the same exact person that I was when I was 14, 15. And that is such a, do y'all ever have those electroshock moments where you're like, I'm the same and I always will be. And that's beautiful. But then you're allowed to change and adapt on top of that. You know, like so, so much of me is different, but to my core, the way that I operate is
my, my interests, my likes, the way that I love things and the way that I love people has never changed. And I don't think it ever will. I mean, I'm pretty cemented in my being as a 27 year old. I doubt that it will change anytime soon. And that's both very, very comforting. You know, that I know myself better than anyone knows me. And it's also a scary thing that if I've been this way for that long, I'm,
What if one day I want to change? What if I want to outgrow that? Or what if I don't like that about myself in the future? How obsessive I am. It's two sides of a coin. You know, it can be a very relatable, beautiful thing that I love so intensely. But on the flip side, it's like, I don't know if that's healthy. Because when I'm obsessed with something, it consumes my fucking life. And what happens if that's a person? You know, that's not healthy.
So I think it's just all in balance and I don't know balance. I've never known balance in my life. And that's how I work, that's how I operate and it works. So whatever dude, fuck you. Let's go back to king crab seafood boil. I want to make one of these one day. I'm probably going to do it for a YouTube video. I'm going to watch one of these videos on how they make it because it, you know, it's like, I don't know if they use flour or what, where they make the sauce a little thick. So it's not just, you know, butter. It's not just melted butter.
where it's real oily and there's that layer on top, but it's kind of thick and it's got some texture to it and there's so many flavors in it, but I don't want it to be spicy where it burns my whole. I don't want to have whole burn, okay? I don't want to singe my asshole off my body. I would like to have a tasteful amount of spice, okay? Okay, let's move on to songs of the week because I've got some things to share. First of all,
Happy summer, guys. Happy Pride Month, guys. My first song is a Chapel Roan song because I'm a fucking ally. And also, I- My Southern Belle, my Southern- I love her so fucking much, dude. I've got a bunch of songs by Chapel Roan, actually, that I've had on rotation. I want to see her live so bad because I want to do H-O-T-T-O-G-O. I want to do it so bad.
And everyone does it. Even guys at her concert. It's so fucking sweet. I want to be in a crowd so bad. I need to find my husband at a Chapel Roan concert. I need to find my pansexual husband at a Chapel Roan show. Good luck, babe. Red wine supernova. I know. Does that make me fucking basic? I love that song. I love Pink Pony Club. I love Casual. I love Hot To Go. Pull up the album. Yeah. Pink Pony Club. Love. California. Love.
I just love her, dude. Next song of the week is A New Day Has Come by Celine Dion. If you understand, you understand. Celine Dion has a live concert movie that is called Celine Dion Concert Movie. It's not the one that's coming out. Through the Eyes of the World, is that it? No, I think it's A New Day. A new day!
Amore Anascoluto, that's the fucking song, dude. Okay, this, this, my God. Another very formative thing for me. This performance by Celine Dion, A New Day Live in Vegas. That's it, that's it, dude. I was obsessed with this concert movie. This is a song in Italian that she sings as this little interlude, intro, or, can I fucking talk?
Jesus Christ! Um, um, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
Fucking reboot! Put it in right! Shut the fuck up! This concert movie has a little interlude, transitionary scene between songs, okay? Where this clown comes out and he starts doing this interpretive dance and he's got a rose and then there's a woman and then they dance and then it's sad, he's a sad clown and then Celine exits stage right onto the stage, walks across real slow and it is just, it spoke to me as a child, I don't know why.
You should go watch this. The way that I recommended Ave Maria by Beyonce, where she does it live with the sort of wedding where they come and put the wedding veil and dress on her and then they rip it away to do it during the I Am World tour. This is another one that for me, I don't know. It's just the absolute epitome of live excellence. I don't know. It's just so well done. I was captivated. It's captivating. This scene...
Celine Dion, Amore Anusconuto, A New Day, Live in Las Vegas, 2007. Go watch this and let me know what you think. This shit was so formative to me. Yeah, her album, A New Day Has Come, has been, it's always kind of in my rotation. Like I'll come back to it when I forget about it. And I'm back there. I'm back here, dude. That album is so good.
Another one on my list is Playboys by Midland. I love this song. I just love a good, happy country song. And then Luke Combs has a song out too that's, I ain't no lovin' old... I love that song. And I think it's on the Twisters album that's coming out. It's got like so many country people on it. Can't wait to listen to that. Oh, and what's that Zach Bryan song?
I like that song too. And then song of the week is Million Dollar Baby by Tommy Richmond. Yeah, I know it's overplayed as fuck on TikTok, but
But he's teasing his stuff for the summer. I'm so excited. Whatever that album is going to be, whatever, I'm locked in. Million Dollar Baby is consistently on loop in the back of my mind. I don't know what it is. I love that song. Oh, and then also I watched Mamma Mia 2 recently. Eh. Mamma Mia 2. Eh. I had never seen it. And I was like, ooh, Cher. I didn't realize Donna fucking dies in it. That sucks. Bring back Meryl Streep. Why didn't she do it? Eh.
Anyway, they brought some new ABBA songs into the mix, of course. Andante, Andante. I love that song. I love that song. I'd never heard it before. And so I was listening to it and I was playing Cake Sort on my phone, kind of barely watching it. It's kind of bad. But then that song came on. I was like, what is this? I was locked in.
Andante Andante by ABBA is a really, really, that's one of the songs of the week. Okay, guys, I think that'll do it for me. Go watch that Celine Dion. Y'all have homework. Go watch the Celine Dion clip. Go watch Hoodwinked. Go watch Chaplin with RDJ. Go watch Only You with RDJ. And go watch Ocean's Eleven with George Clooney if you haven't. That's your homework. I expect to see you back here next week. Okay? Fully having done your homework. Love you guys. And be safe. And go register to vote.
Headcount.org. And if you don't have merch, go get it. Roski.shop. And if you haven't seen Royal Court, go watch it. That's my celebrity talk show. Okay? Love you guys. Bye.
