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It's a little chilly in here don't you think YouTube video watchers and audio listeners imagine me in a snuggly sweatshirt right now. Oh What's that? It's broski report merch, dude. Oh, what the fuck is that? It's freaking brokski report. Yeah, bro I listened. Okay, don't ever say I don't listen to broski nation. Is that true? Yeah. Okay. Do I listen to you guys? No.
At least you guys probably like 15% of the time. That 1.5% that's coming in right now, baby. We got merch! We got t-shirts, we got crewnecks, we got hoodies. We have a beautifully crafted and designed website that you can go look at right now. And here's the thing, the photos of the garments, I'm in them. Okay? Because I hate an influencer merch where they drop that shit. Also, hate the word influencer.
where they release merch and then they're not even in the photos. It's like, bro, you don't even wear it. I wear this.
So yes, guys, this is the Broski Report merch officially. This is the front. This is the hoodie. Okay. Broski Report on the sleeve. It is this design on the back. We had Brit Art collab with me on this, who I fucking love her, dude. I love her pinup style. And I knew that with the 50s vibe of the Broski Report, but like make it gay and kind of cunty, we had to use Brit Art and she did a fantastic job.
I love how it came out. The crew neck is so cute. And I love the t-shirt's a little realist. Okay. It's a little, it's the photo of me with all the sort of Walter Cronkite stuff on it. So yeah, this was in partnership with Warren James, who is a fantastic company. Was so excited to work with them. And it's really good quality. Like I was like, guys, I'll be happy if it's just a Gildan sweatshirt. You know what I mean? With just the logo on it. And they were like, no, no, no, no, no. We're elevating. I was like, oh,
Oh, so this it's like really thick and it's really good to like actually keep she warm not just like oh shit.
Like I brought a sweatshirt, but I should have brought a coat. It's like real thick. The crew neck is nice and it'll keep you warm. And the t-shirt's that good quality. It's not that thin material. It's that good. It'll absorb your sweat. That was what I told him. I was like, I need stuff to absorb what's going on on my person. Okay. So yeah, here's the merch finally available. This will be dropping on January 11th. The website is in the description.
And yeah, go check it out, guys. I'm so excited to give this to you. While supplies last!
while supplies last, okay? We have a limited amount for right now. In the future, if you guys sell it out, we will absolutely have more in the capsule, but we started out with a couple, okay? So get it while it lasts. And while you're checking out that beautiful website, why don't you go ahead and subscribe to the newsletter? Because we're going to be doing a lot more drops, probably. Maybe potentially some Moo Moos, okay? So when those are ready. And maybe some slippers as well,
So go get your merch. Stay tuned for what's to come. And thanks for sticking around, Broski Nation. Enjoy this week's episode. Bye-bye. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. God save our precious queen. Live happily.
Majesty, God save the Supreme Leader.
That's the dub. Supreme Leader. Supreme Leader. Any of you guys ever been on the Universal Studios like lot tour where the guide is like on the bus and Jimmy Fallon has a video playing? This is so niche if you've done this. You're on the bus and they're gonna like take you through the lot of like, oh, they filmed Jaws here, whatever. And you're on it and there's an interactive tour guide driver. And then there's a video that they play on the screens and Jimmy Fallon is in this video.
And he's like being like, you guys are gonna have a great time today with insert bus driver name here. And then the guy on the mic is like, John. And he's like, with your host, Jim. Like whatever. I don't know why I felt compelled to share that. But that's what the opening of this episode was kind of in my mind giving. Okay. It was a rendition of God Save Our Queen. But instead of Queen, R.I.P., it's Supreme Leader.
because that's me. okay guys! what's that song they play? long long. long old song. old long song. old long song is a poem and melody that are over 200 years old and are in the public domain. how does this go? old long song. so make sure to stay tuned to learn more old lang sang. old lang sang. the more you know.
Old Lang Syng, everyone! I don't know what that means, actually. What does Old Lang Syng mean? Times long past. Well, that's fucking depressing. All right, a lot to discuss, guys. Happy New Year to all and to all a good night. 2024 is going to be our year, team. 2023 was warm-up. 2022 was warm-up. 2021 was warm-up. 2020 was hell. 2019 was warm-up, okay?
2024, that's our year for real. There are some changes on the set I have got to address before you guys come here with pitchforks and flames. We have a new addition. My YouTube partner manager, his name is Reed, got me a flip-flop of myself in the Broski Report, like, cover art outfit. I opened this present up and I just about damn near cried. Look at her! She's
So I did actually move forward with kicking the Night King off of the throne, the Iron Throne, and he has actually been banished back here, if you can see that he's under the green screen. Never to be seen again. Kicked off! Okay? What do they do on American Idol? Okay, I did not turn around on the voice. I'm on the Iron Throne now. And then we have business as per usual. Kylo Ren, Mando, and Ghost, of course, up here. Now...
Before we launch in, I wanted to also address, hey, I was gone for two weeks. Sorry. Sorry, it was the holidays and I was around my family and I wasn't working. Are you guys gonna kill me? Are you gonna come to- Shit, they're outside. Yeah, hello? They're outside. Yep, they have guns. Uh-huh. And ammo. Oh, there's a bomb. Ooh, and anthrax. Okay. Oh, so they're mad. Okay, yeah. No, and I'll see you over dinner tonight too. Okay, could you just like disarm the bomb? Okay, love you. No, you hang up. Okay, love you. Bye.
Sorry, that was Sam Hartman. Sorry, that was actually Sam Hartman because we moved in together. And it's a beautiful, beautiful blossoming love. Now, if you guys are mad at me for taking two weeks off...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't forget about me. I'm sorry. I had a, I won't say relaxing, but I had a great two weeks with my family. Went to Florida. We had a grand old time. Love my siblings. They're almost done with college. That's like crazy to me because they're still like 11 and annoying in my brain. All right. Sorry for being gone. I'm on the Iron Throne. Happy New Year. And here we go.
For the new year, I challenge the Broski Nation citizen listening to this broadcast. We're no longer doing resolutions, okay? We're doing intentions. We are setting intentions for 2024. This can be
to maybe hold firm some boundaries that you've let go lack, okay? If you don't want to go to something, say no, okay? That's something I'm working on. If someone invites you to something and they're being nice and you know for a fact on that day you're going to be tired or you're going to be, you're going to have a long day, you're going to want to be at home, say no. Because what I've been experiencing is I'm the flake. And it's, there is not a worse feeling, by the way. Because when someone flakes on you, awful.
And then I started to realize, oh my God, I'm doing that to people. And like, my friends are really gracious, thankfully, but like, I'm not, that's not the type of person I want to be. So if someone invites me to something and I know for a fact, I'm coming home from a flight that day, or I'm going to be hungover or whatever, I'm just going to start saying, okay,
Hey, I think that's going to be a self-care day, I think. But, you know, let's talk about next week because that's the thing. You have to show them by means of rescheduling that you still want to do something because there's a difference between, hey, I can't do it.
period, or like that day doesn't work for me. What about next week? Right? You still want to do it. There's an intention there of having those times with your friends, but God damn, sometimes I want to be alone. My intention of this year, and I mean this with my chest, is Sam Hartman. Now, who is Sam Hartman? Who is Sam Hartman? You may have seen this clip of me that I got on my own For You page of me doing a college speaking engagement
at Notre Dame. Now, Notre Dame, did it burn to the ground? Yeah. Okay. Not that Notre Dame. This is Notre Dame, the school, the college in Indiana. Okay. Didn't know it was in Indiana. Thought it was in like Pennsylvania. I don't know. I go to Notre Dame.
And first of all, incredible, incredibly beautiful, welcoming, just like awesome school. Like really had a great time there. It was all the girls in the crowd. Those are my favorite shows. Like, cause I do a lot of college shows and I have yet to do one to Texas A&M. I don't know why. Like that's my fucking alma mater. Please reach out to me, girl. I'd love to come. I go to a bunch of schools. I've done a bunch all across the South, all across the East Coast.
And so I was at this one, I was at Notre Dame and I was excited because I was like, you know, for part of me in high school thought like I was like, I'm going to get as far away from Texas as I can. I didn't. Oh, so I show up and the whole crowd is just, it's the girls. It is the girls and maybe three gay men. And I'm like, yes. And the questions were great. The moderators were great. And we just had a good old time. Towards the end of the like show, if you want to call it that, it's like a moderated Q&A.
One of the moderators asked me, have you ever seen our quarterback? And I said, no girl, look at me. Does it look like I know who your quarterback is? She goes, well, allow me to enlighten you. She proceeds to hand me her iPhone 12 Pro Max. I hold it in my hand. Picture of Sam Hartman. I seize. I seize. Foaming. Foaming. Drool. My eyes are crossed. Glazed over. Glazed over like a cow.
She proceeds to show me this fardar. This fardar. Oh my lord Jesus. I'm not dice. I'm not dice. I'm not usually... I'm about to lie. I was about to say, I'm not one to objectify men. Hey, yeah, the fuck I am. Look, me, I'm not one to objectify men, okay? Hey, I'm lying. I looked at this man and I said, this must be what it feels like when a teen...
This must be what it feels like when a teenage boy like opens a Playboy magazine like opens it and does boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing,
And so that's this video that someone recorded from the Q&A. She uploaded it. I saw it and I was like, that is so... Because you know, when I'm answering the questions, I don't think about what do I look like. And I watched this video and I saw my own reaction. And I was like, yeah, that's accurate. Yeah, and I'd do it again. That's real. And so, of course, I proceeded to throw Mr. Hartman an Instagram follow. Okay. Now, this is current with...
Also, okay, I'm actually not done. He's like 24, right? Still in college. I don't know if he's graduated yet. I think he did. He was at Wake Forest, now he's at Notre Dame. I know everything about this man. I know everything about this man that is possible to find on the internet. I have a mental illness. What the fuck do you want from me, dude? I have begun the initial stages of compiling the information for his biography that I'm going to write. Hyperfixation does, dude! It does not matter!
It doesn't matter what I like. When I started liking it, hey, I'm doing search, okay? That's me doing a deep dive. I don't know what that is. Some of you bitches in the comments are gonna say, that's your ADHD. I don't think I have ADHD. I'm probably wrong, okay? That is, it's my MO, okay? An MO, does anyone know what that means? Modus operandi, right? We're gonna teach you a Latin phrase real quick, guys. Modus operandi, okay?
a particular way or method of doing something, especially one that is characteristic or well-established, okay? This is a Latin phrase. Incorporate this into your vernacular, okay? M-O. Now, my M-O is I like something and I'm free. I don't know how to like something a normal amount. I don't know how to be like, oh, that's chill. I've said this before. I'm shaft deep or I'm not in it at all, okay? Yeah, Marvin, I'm shaft deep.
I am balls deep into Sam Hartman, okay?
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Now, that being said, I have started reading Fourth Wing. Now, stay with me. Stay with me because don't let me lose you. I've started reading Fourth Wing. Okay? Okay, that's my silent review of Fourth Wing. That's my silent review. Fourth Wing...
I cured my Throne of Glass hangover because I immediately binged Echatar. After that, I immediately binged Throne of Glass with the exception of Assassin's Blade. That's seven books back to back. And the final book is like 1,100 pages. I'm lying. It's like 900 or something like that. It's a long fucking book. I powered through Kingdom of Ash. And I was like, well, this sucks. Like the story's done, but I don't know if it is. And so people were like, oh, you need to read Fourth Wing, Fourth Wing. And I was like...
I don't, if it's going to be like an ACOTAR ripoff, I'm really not. Because it's enemies to lovers. That's what it was marketed to me as. Dude, it was so good. I'm halfway through Iron Flame right now. Okay. I will say this for all the, all the book talk girls. And if you're not a book talk girl, just fucking listen. The main guy in ACOTAR, one of the main guys. Okay. I won't ruin it if you haven't read it. His name is Rhysand. And he is this...
dark, brooding, mysterious, shadow-wielding, what you first meet him as, as a villain, okay? He's High Lord of the Night Court, okay? Everything's dark and so emo, like very Adam Lambert coded. Adam Lambert 2009, what do you want from me, coded, okay? Zayden Ryerson, Ryerson, from Fourth Wing, dragon rider, son of a rebellion leader, traitor to the realm, okay?
shadow wielder okay one of the most powerful dragon riders in all of navarre okay there i said it very very similar archetype of man which i think is why people recommended it to me so much but also it's the same vein of like really well thought out fantasy plot porn with a plot okay and a great plot i think that and okay here's my here's my tea
Rhysand, you spend so much time with him from Akatar to Court of... Shit, what's the second book called? Akatar Book Order.
Oh, I lied. I lied. Oh my God. I've been thinking that was the third one for a long time. Court of Thorns and Roses, Court of Mist and Fury, which I thought was the third book, Court of Wings and Ruin, and then Court of Frost and Starlight. Those are the four I've read. I have not read Silver Flames because that's the one, it's like got the most porn in it. It's got the most oink oink in it. I didn't read it because I don't give a fuck about Nesta. Okay. I didn't read it. I've been recommended it a lot of times. I will probably read it at some point. Anyway,
You spend a lot of time with Rhysand through those three or four books. And I guess the fifth one too, but I don't, I wouldn't know. I haven't read it. You fall in love with him slowly, right? And you see how much of, okay, I actually won't ruin it. If you haven't read it,
I won't ruin it. But you spend a lot of time with him. Fourth Wing, it's one book, right? It's like 450 pages. You spend a lot less time, but it's a lot more intense. Like the time that they do spend together. And of course, it's the love triangle thing. And, you know, at the beginning, you're rooting for someone. And then towards the end, it's clear who like is the one for her. And I was making comparisons between Ektar and Fourth Wing because this idea of a man who has been written as...
the lead woman's equal. You know, he doesn't restrict her. He doesn't impede upon her independence. He doesn't step on her toes. He doesn't, he's not overly protective. He's protective of her, but not to a point where it's controlling. I was trying to make those comparisons. And you know what, bitch? I'm three-fourths of the way through Iron Flame and that theory is kind of falling apart because there is some...
questionable behavior on both Violet and Zayden's parts in Iron Flame. I feel like I'm watching high schoolers interact with each other. It's passionate. It's exciting. It's, you know, they're keeping secrets from each other or whatever. Like the plot is definitely moving forward. And look, smut, 4.9 out of 10. 4.7 out of 5. Okay. I'm loving it. It's great. I am getting kind of frustrated.
With the fact that it's clear that they're both hard-headed and stubborn and like she's a little selfish. I'm kind of taking his side. Anyway, all that to say, it's been a while since I read ACOTAR. I read it last year. Maybe it's recency bias because I'm reading Fourth Wing right now. I'm almost done with it. Zayden? Zayden? Then here's the thing. Guess who the casting is in my brain. Can you put two and two together? It's gonna be Sam Hartman.
That's gonna be Sam Hartman. Okay! There, I said it. Are you happy now? My hands are behind my back. I'm bound and gagged. Are you happy now? I said it. I'm a sick little freak. Sam Hartman is my ideal casting for Zayden Rearson from Voice Wing. Lock me up. Take me away, officer. He is just... You get it or you don't, dude. So it's made it worse. And I...
It's one of those things, it's classic woman brain moment. Woman moment! Shut, I don't. Woman moment! But yeah, let me have a woman moment really quick. I am casting this incredibly complex and beautiful, like, work of a character of Zayden Rearson onto the Notre Dame quarterback.
This super, super, super senior. He's been in college for six years. Hell yeah, brother. Hell yeah, brother. Fuck it. Fuck the degree. And he's training for the NFL draft right now. Yeah. And he's in Los Angeles. Yeah, I fucking know that. Because guess what? Turned on notifications for his- Oh, shut up. I don't actually care. I really don't give a shit, dude. Sam Ortman, in my brain, has all the qualities that Zayden Rearson has. Is that true? No. Fuck no. Doesn't matter.
Does not matter. What's that Ariana Grande lyric? We have got to pull it up. In My Head by Ariana Grande. The beginning where he says, here's the thing. You're in love with a version of a person that you've created in your head that you are trying to but cannot fix. The only thing you can fix is yourself. I love you. This has gone on way too long. Enough is enough. I'm two blocks away. I'm coming over. That intro changed the course of my life forever. And then this, this,
lyric hold on painted a picture i thought i drew you well i had a vision seeing what isn't there caught in the moment tangled up in your sheets when you broke my heart said you only wanted half of me okay now i cannot relate to that with regards to sam hartman however the sentiment is true i have picked him you as the one that i'm projecting zayden rearson on and guess what it's great i'm living my life bitch it's fantastic in real life he's a talented football player okay
the Notre Dame football team went to Dublin. They went to Dublin and they played a football game, a football match in Dublin. And they were gifted what's called a shillelagh, shillelagh, forgive my pronunciation if you are Irish, which is a traditional walking stick or like a keepsake. It's like a cultural, traditional...
piece of wood okay they were gifted it as the team because they're the fighting irish okay notre dame go irish sort of moment okay he's in the post game interview the post game interview of this game and he's holding this like mystical hosier stick and he goes i gifted this because he's out of breath from the game by the king of dublin i'm behind the i'm on the sidelines don't talk you don't
Okay, you play the game. You play that. You throw that football, bitch. And you better run. Yes, work, diva. Hey, Sam. Could you go ahead and point out the king of Dublin to me? Just on the map back here, if you could just point out where you think the king of Dublin lives. Oh, guys. How was it ever reverse engineered in the history of humankind that women are bimbos? Have you ever spoken to a man? Okay.
If you're that hot, you don't have to say bullshit, okay? I don't know how we let that happen to women when men are the ones that we should be. You sit there and you be pretty, baby. I'm so proud of you. Yes! He is so hot. And he's funny too, okay? He does meme dumps. When he does dumps on Instagram, when he takes a big steaming dump on my TL, there's some memes in there.
He's posted the one of that wolf sitting, sitting alone of I'm just type shit. Like that sort of thing. Loner, loner wolf type shit. Okay. I'm giggling. He's done the, the World War I vet drawing of like PTSD. He's done that. Okay. He's funny. Yeah. I just about fell out at King of Dublin. Hey Sam, there's actually going to be a president of the Republic of Ireland and there's going to be a prime minister. Okay. Just if let's just clear it right now.
I have been posting for the last three days, uh, Sam Hartman edits of the day. Okay. I might start reposting them on TikTok. Just let me ride this out. He is the white man of probably the week. Okay. Maybe the month. Let me ride this out and we'll be over it soon. Okay. Just, just stick with me guys. Okay. We're almost done on a deeper traumatic level. Let me level with you guys really quick. All right. We're going, we're going 1v1 you and me.
I think the reason that I'm very attracted to Sam Hartman is because he looks like my ex-situationship a little bit. Do you recognize that? I'd admit that to myself, okay? And yeah, I was laying in bed last night watching a YouTube video that reminded me of him. And I had to FaceTime my friend and be like, bitch, do I text him? And her being like, I'll kill you. And I said, you have a point. You actually do have a point.
We're struggling. Broski Nation, this is, we are headed into 2024. Hitting the ground running in the yearning category, okay? We are, we hit the ground yearning. I dismounted my dragon. That's me spinning through midair. Boom, land Spider-Man superhero pose. Yearning. I hit the ground. Yearning, okay? The ground cracks and expands and explodes. It's just, it's awful, dude.
And the longer, the more time goes in between what happened between us and not talking, I yearn more and harder, okay? I just need a real life man to distract me because in my brain, I'm like, oh, he's the one. Hey, babe, he's not. He don't want me. He don't want you. So why are you still thinking about him? Okay, move on. Easier said than done. I think in my brain, it's just, I'm going through it right now. You know, I had to literally call my friend Katie and be like,
Do I talk to... Extremely loud, incorrect buzzer. Don't! Anyway, it just, yeah, to get that off my chest, guys, thanks for listening. In that vein, I need a bearded man like water. So if any of you have maybe a brother or a best friend or a cousin that you could offer up at the altar of the muses, I'm the muses, if you could just bring that up as like a sacrificial...
lamb at the altar of the muses for me and my well-being, I would really appreciate that. If you have a bearded relative or friend who is single and looks akin to Sam Hartman, go ahead and shoot me that in the DMs. I will be looking, okay? Appreciate you guys on that front. All right, moving into Barack Obama's songs of the year. Moving into Barack Obama. What the fuck? President Obama, I know your ass is not less than a Mitski.
Bit of the week said it. Your ass is not listening to Mitski. Okay, let's go through these. TQG by Carol G and Shakira. Great song. Okay, we got a little diversity in there. Period. Barack Obama. I Remember Everything by Zach Bryan and Casey Beathard. This is an incredible song. Okay, Casey's part when it comes in. Very good. Sprinter by Dave and Central C. Period. Some other interesting ones. Cobra by Megan Thee Stallion.
I could do a whole other episode on Meg Thee Stallion and how much I fucking love her and ride for her and how much... Actually, I'm gonna get mad. How much she's been through in the industry alone, not even like in her personal life, of like losing her parents, like being cheated on, the Tory Lanez bullshit, all that, like all of that. And then the industry backlash on top of that. I cannot fucking imagine that.
I love Megastar. I could write a thesis on it. So that being on Barack Obama's Fair Music in 2023, period. Water by Tyler, okay. America Has a Problem, absolutely. We've got My Love, Mine, All Mine by Mitski, period. La Bebe remix by Young Lucas and Peso Pluma. I was trying in my mind of minds, okay, in my mind's eye to envision President Barack Obama
Wherever he is, okay? On the, wherever he is in the world. Bumping. He's just not, okay? He's not! But I appreciate the inclusivity.
Uh, Lose Control by Teddy Swims. I fucking love that song, dude. That is a fantastic song. And then we've got... I think that's all the ones I recognize from here. Yeah, that's all I recognize from here. Now...
I just think this is hilarious because in my brain it's like is there someone compiling this for him and are they making sure to like be so inclusive of like this isn't Barack Obama's top 30 songs from Spotify like there is someone curating this to make it look like he's listening across all genres everything that's important in the world like being really p uh
PC about it, like a PR response. And I just think that's hilarious. Like, okay, what should we include? La Bebe remix and Water by Tyla. Both great songs. But Barack Obama? No, I can't. I'm really, I'm struggling to see it. Okay. I think it's hilarious though. This is so period. Okay. Moving on to my three songs of the week, because I love to forget. I love to forget.
That's going to be first person shooter by Drake. You get it? You get it. There were those TikToks going around when Spotify wrapped came out. They were like me spending every ounce of my time in 2023 trying to be mysterious and eclectic with my music taste just to have my top artist be Drake. Bitch, I get that. I get that hard. I just, you just gotta put on Drake sometimes. I don't know. Okay. Okay.
Speaking of Drake, his episode on Sunday Conversations with Kayla Presley, one of the funniest things I've ever seen. When they had Adonis on there. Hilarious. Just great. Like that is, that is a, if we were compiling a time capsule to send off to aliens, I would request for that to be downloaded on a USB and we'd put that in there. And like a lot of, everyone needs to see that. Okay. First Person Shooter by Drake. I love that song. I can't stop listening to it. Never Lose Me by Flo Millie.
He's speeding away, falling his hand on my coochie. Feeling good. Right? I... These are on, they're on repeat. I've got like five songs right now that I'm just like, I'm cycling through. And that's going to be number two. Number three, this was, I might've mentioned them last week or two weeks ago. Maddie, my Spanish tutor. A few episodes ago, I was talking about how I love flamenco.
and I love contemporary flamenco and I love it interpreted through the lens of, you know, modern like sort of with trap beats and whatever else under it, the modern interpretation. And y'all recommended a lot of cool artists to me in the comments and I listened to one, I really liked one. Maria Jose Yergo?
La Luz, a color show. I love that song. Someone commented that and I was like, okay, period. Now let's do it. Really, really great. And then Maddie saw my story and recommended this to me. If you like flamenco or if you're trying to find a way to just incorporate it, there are a lot of playlists out there of like kind of chill flamenco and then like serious historical flamenco.
This is a band called Fondo Flamenco and the song is Mi Estrella Blanca. This song is so good. It's been on repeat. Okay, I'm obsessed. And when I drive, I put it on. I feel like I'm driving through the Spanish countryside. I'm obsessed with it. Those are my three songs of the week. Okay, the main that I wanted to talk to you guys about.
Okay, so everything else in this episode thus far has been ancillary to what I really want to talk about, which is I'm getting into the world of audiobooks. I love sitting down and physically holding, you know, a fantasy novel and being able to, like, cover the page with my hand. And you're like, when it gets to a really good part, it's like, oh my god! And coming up with the voices and the characters and how I envision them in my brain. I don't want that read to me. I need to world build in my mind. I've been...
treading in the water of historical non-fiction for a while. And you know, a lot of the time when you sit down to read, you want to escape or you just want time off your fucking phone. You know, I don't want to have to think about something serious. But the older I get, it's like, I do. I want to...
use my time equally. You know, the time can be spent both in that fantasy world when the world gets too heavy, and then you can have your nose in books that are heavy and that's okay. You know, there's so much trauma porn online and it's the trauma Olympics and all this. And that kind of has left a sour taste in my mouth of, I don't want to learn.
But I'm getting over that because I do want to learn. And just learning about things that, you know, historically have interested me, I'm over that too. I want to broaden my sort of, you know, scope. So that being said, I looked on audiobooks on Spotify.
And I came across this audio book, which it's a real book, but it's being narrated. And I can't stop thinking about it, dude. I started going on walks every day, which is like, didn't used to do that. It's great. You guys should try it. I do my little, I close my fitness ring on the fitness app and it's fantastic. This book is called An Indigenous People's History of the United States, Revisioning American History by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz. And I saw the title and I was like,
That's something that I would never think to think about. You know, like you as an ally or as someone who tends to fall on the leftist side of issues,
You would think, you know, like, of course I'm sympathetic to the plight of indigenous people in the United States. Of course, that kind of goes without saying. But how deep have I really gone into that? And I asked myself the question and I was like, not deep at all. Okay, beyond the basic...
It's a genocide and how tragic. I've never really gone beneath the surface to really walk my way backwards through American history, through the lens of someone who wasn't the one writing the history book. And then I started thinking, oh my God, there's so many other avenues that I could explore of world history through that lens as well.
Which I'm not, like, this sounds like me preaching the fucking, you know, I'm not trying to act like I'm the first person who's discovered. Clearly not. I'm saying in me, in my life, I've never taken the time. And so I'm taking the time. And it's very, very heavy. And it's very eye-opening. And it's very educational. Which I wanted. You know, I want to be, if I'm listening to an audiobook or a podcast, you know, I'll
Putting something on in the background to sort of keep you company is one thing, but usually if I'm going to listen to a podcast, I'm going to learn something. So there is a quote in this book that is from Willie Johns, who's from the Brighton Seminole Reservation in Florida. And it says, we are here to educate, not forgive. We're here to enlighten, not accuse. And I love this because it's clearly not absolving history of its sins, but it's making it accessible. And
Oftentimes when I'm speaking about things like this to my family, and I'm speaking from personal experience, when I'm speaking to my family about these things, there comes an air of defensiveness, you know, when we're talking about native indigenous peoples. And
There's an inherent built-in almost compulsion to defend the settlers of America because those are our ancestors and that's our lineage and whatever and that's how we can live the life. But that defensiveness, I'm begging who I'm talking to to step back from that. Take the walls down and let's have a conversation actually. I'm not talking about... Because here's the thing. There's no need to get defensive.
I'm a white person too, okay? No one's pointing the finger at you, but it's easy to feel attacked or, you know, accused when you're having this conversation because inherently, and this is what happens with my family a lot, you know, when we were talking about Black Lives Matter, when we're talking about gay rights, trans rights, anything. It's like, well, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about the powers that be. I'm talking about authority in this country and the history of authority in this country.
And that is a hard barrier to break through in order to have a productive conversation. The point being, it's not about you. It's not about me. It's about the history, the tragic history, and the untold history, the erased history of the indigenous people of the Americas. So with that being said, what kind of piqued my interest here was, I think it triggered my desire to unlearn
what the Texas public school system brand education taught me about indigenous people and indigenous history, which is lackluster and spotty at best. Okay, of the "Pilgrim Indians got together and had a great meal. They sang fucking kumbaya around a fire." No, bro.
Okay, and I just realized in my brain, of course, from the circles I run in and how I spend my time online, of course, I know that the history is deeper than that. But there are so many Americans, white Americans, I'm not even gonna say white Americans, just like non-indigenous Americans who genuinely believe that. And you're never really pushed to learn more about it ever. You know, it's kind of like a, you don't really, you're not forced to think about it.
And so I'm forcing myself to think about it. And it's heavy. It's very heavy. And it's sad. And I'm glad that the book opened up with this sort of mantra of, you know, when I feel myself start to start to feel like shit sort of thing. You know, it's not about making anyone feel bad. It's about educating and enlightening and not letting these stories fall to the wayside and hearing it from the people around.
went through it, who have a tradition of oral history. So it's been really, really incredible thus far. And I want to read an excerpt, if you'll have me, that really kind of struck a chord with me. And I'm excited to keep going in this book. And it's like, I make sure I'm doing it on my walks where I can lock in, you know, I'm not putting this on in the background because I want to hear it.
So with that as the sort of starting perspective of the book, damn. Shit.
Choices were made that forged that path toward destruction of life itself, the moment in which we now live and die as our planet shrivels, overheated. To learn and know this history is both a necessity and a responsibility to the ancestors and descendants of all parties.
What historian David Chang has written about the land that became Oklahoma applies to the whole United States. Nation, race, and class all converged in land. Everything in U.S. history is about the land. Who oversaw it and cultivated it, fished its waters, maintained its wildlife, who invaded it, who stole it, how it became a commodity broken into pieces to be bought and sold on the market.
U.S. policies and actions related to indigenous peoples, though often termed racist or discriminatory, are rarely depicted as what they are: classic cases of imperialism and a particular form of colonialism called settler colonialism. As anthropologist Patrick Wolf writes, "The question of genocide is never far from discussions of settler colonialism. Land is life, or at least land is necessary for life."
The history of the United States is a history of settler colonialism, the founding of a state based on the ideology of white supremacy, the widespread practice of African slavery, and a policy of genocide and land theft. Those who seek history with an upbeat ending, a history of redemption and reconciliation, may look around and observe that such a conclusion is not visible, not even in utopian dreams of a better society.
Writing U.S. history from an indigenous people's perspective requires rethinking the consensual national narrative, which I, damn, dude, the consensual national narrative, because no, it wasn't. Hey, no, it wasn't.
That narrative is wrong or deficient, not in its facts, dates, or details, but rather in its essence. Inherent in the myth we've been taught is an embrace of settler colonialism and genocide. Not for a lack of free speech or poverty of information, but rather for an absence of motivation to ask questions that challenge the core of the scripted narrative of the origin story.
How might acknowledging the reality of U.S. history work to transform society? That's the central question this book pursues. So yeah, I'm like three chapters in and I'm really loving it, but it's heavy. So I'm mixing it with maintenance phase. If y'all listen to maintenance phase, my free cat tried to put me on about a year ago and I was like, nah, I don't listen to podcasts. I have a podcast. I don't do that. I don't listen to that shit.
I love maintenance phase, dude. Growing up as a big person, as a plus size bitch, it is so, so validating. And that is a nuanced conversation in and of itself. I don't know if I want to get into it in this episode. Maybe I will in the next episode. And the sort of incorrect thesis statement of a lot of these...
pro-body neutrality podcasts or, you know, concepts, the incorrect thesis statement is, feel sorry for me because I'm fat. And it's not that. It's not that. It is such a layered experience growing up in a big body. It just is because, yes,
I've been taught as a young woman to see my body as being the most important thing, my looks, my body, my figure, and then everything else is secondary. We're moving past that as a society, I would hope, I would think, but it's still fucking hard. And you never lose that little fat girl in you. You know, you never lose the way that people made you feel, the way you were overlooked, the way that you were never considered in the dating pool, how you had to
make up for the lack of desirability, the lack of fuckability in other skills. And while I think that that is one of the reasons why I'm able to have the career I am today is because you're forced... I mean, we talk about this all the time, dude. You're forced to develop a personality.
That is the unfortunate reality of the Duff, the designated ugly fat friend, okay? I know that this is an overused, funny sort of way to put someone down, but it's getting real. When I heard that term for the first time, I was like, that's fucking me. And of course, that statement comes with the qualifier of, I don't think I'm ugly. I don't think I'm whatever, but I'm
From an objective societal perspective, yeah, dude, you think I don't get those DMs? You think I don't see those comments on my shit? When my content leaves my own platform and it's reposted on other people's things or when I guest star on other people's things, you would be appalled at some of the comments I see. It's not anything to do with my personality or my intelligence or my humor. And I hope that I can spread that sort of sentiment, you know, among y'all that,
You're worth so much more. Your time is valuable. And you are so much more than your body. So much more than your body. And I've, you know, people well into their 30s, my mom still, we talk about this all the time of they were raised in just such a different time where you're, when men cat call you or do this or do that, that scene is flattering. I see that as a fucking sexual harassment.
You know, like don't, or groping or this and all that. They're seeing, oh, well, he just, it's flattering. They think I'm a trap. It's appalling. So all that aside, whatever. I think there's a buffer around being a fat person where you're kind of shielded from some of that. You're shielded from, and I say that with a grain of salt, you're shielded from objectification. You are not shielded from fetishization. Okay. You're not.
Because when you fit into someone's kink or fetish, of course, you're objectified and sexualized even then. But it's like, it's not in the way that a normal human person wants to feel desired. You know, you don't want to feel like someone's secret, someone's secret fantasy that they have. That fucking blows. So...
I don't know. I also, I watch a lot of TikToks from the perspective of fat black women on TikTok who that's, it's the intersectionality of that sentiment, which is just amplified, you know, like you're overlooked in so many different ways. And I'm, I'm just so sympathetic to that. It's like, I, it just sucks, dude. So yeah.
maintenance phase really has been fantastic. I listened to their episode on Ozempic. I listened to their episode on the keto diet because, you know, all these fad diets, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, all this bullshit, Atkins that just like prey. They prey on that feeling of, you know, if you just lost weight that people would like you more. Like, you know that, right? Dude, their Weight Watchers episode, they were talking about how
They started marketing to teenagers. And then when that kind of fell flat, they started marketing to 11 year olds. They had a program for eight to 12 year olds or some crazy bullshit like that. Literal children. And I was like, I've been there, done that. I was eight, nine years old. Having people in my family be like, you should lay some wine. We need to buy you some new clothes. Those don't fit. You know, it's like, I know that feeling and it is so young. You're a baby.
Why are you teaching me to see my body as an item to be sold? That is weird. So it's just been really, these past few days have been full of learning and introspection and retrospection. And yeah, I really recommend this book. I'll give you the title again. An Indigenous People's History of the United States, Revisioning American History by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz.
And then maintenance phase is great. Go check them out. Okay. Also, update on my health. This podcast is all over the fucking place. When I haven't talked to you guys in 15 days, I don't really know what else to say. Okay, I have a lot of updates. Officially diagnosed with PCOS. Okay, all my PCOS girls, let's fucking get it, dude. It sucks. I finally saw Remy Ashton reached out to me. Love her. Love her to goddamn death.
She reached out to me because she's been struggling with this publicly for, what, six, seven years? Maybe 10 years? And she texted me and she was like, I started seeing this specialist who changed my life. And I was like, Remy, oh my God. Because I've been feeling like hopeless. You know, my gyno fucking sucks. She was like, all right, we did the blood test. You got PCOS. We'll see you. And then she slammed the door in my face.
Treatment. Like that sort of thing. I was like, there's not a worse feeling than feeling like a doctor doesn't give a shit about you. So Remy texted me and just like hope blossomed in my chest. And she was like, she totally changed my life. She put me on, uh,
medicine that actually helps. She told me how to change my diet, what vitamins I need. She did genetic screening, which I didn't know was a thing. Doctors can take your blood and run it through all these different tests to see what cancers you're predisposed to. You may think you know your family's medical history, but there's some shockers in there. I was like, wow.
Because I have a history of breast cancer and ovarian cancer and tumors and skin. All of it is in my family. Just like not the best of luck with the women's menstrual system, reproductive system. So she really, like Remy, shout out. Love you, bitch. Saved me. And the doctor's fantastic. And so she started me on a bunch of new meds. I cannot eat gluten.
Okay, I can't indulge in one of nature's blessings that is bread. I can't have Olive Garden bread. What's life worth living? There's not a life worth living if I can't have fucking bread. I can't even have tortillas. I guess I can have corn tortillas, maybe. I'm gonna have to adapt and overcome. Vini, vidi, vici, Roman citizens of broski nation. Is that what it is? Came, saw a concert. Vini, vidi, vidi.
Vinnie Hacker. I came, I saw, I won. Vinnie Vedevici. I'm so smart, dude. That's two Latin phrases in this episode. All right. Latin classes with broski. Let's freaking go. Taylor calls me boski. Hate it. Okay. What was I talking about? Oh, so started all these meds. I am now dairy-free completely. I am gluten-free completely. I cannot have coconut water or
avocados or bananas because those are high in potassium and linked to high testosterone which guess what i got a lot of i'm growing chin hair like a fucking man rippling biceps okay i'm reading fourth wing i'm reading about zayden weirson like damn that sounds like me i was on that natural t i got that t body bitch that's just my hormones being like you know what let's get this bitch some more testosterone
Damn, I was growing neck hair, chin hair. My leg hair is thicker than a grizzly bear. That shit is thick. I need a... That's me giving a buzz cut to my legs. So finally to go to this doctor and her be like, we're going to put you on this to lower your testosterone. Avoid these. You need to do this. We're going to put you on berberine. We're going to do all this. You need to take progesterone at the end of your... I was like, God. So it's been great. I started that about maybe five days ago.
And I'm having a real shitty bout of sciatica. That's what you guys miss. Okay. My, my health update. All right. I love you guys. Thanks for waiting on this episode. It's been a while, but I had a nice holiday and I hope you all did too. Please set your intentions for 2024 and
Sam Hartman content that you want. Now, I will give the disclaimer. I've seen just about every edit on TikTok. So you're going to have to make new edits. Make new edits. Make new content. Send me that. Tag me in it. Send it to me on Instagram. Okay? I'm checking. Love you guys. And we'll see you on the next one.