#460 - How Vanilla Are You?
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Welcome back to the basement Welcome back to the basement yard frank. That is lovely hat you had on. Thank you so much It's those new sanagata studios brunch club hats baby that are available now at shop.sangatastudios.com As well as our new brunch club t-shirts. Wow, look at you. You're plugging away. I'd be plugging. Yeah, you know plug it plug it up

What are you saying? I don't know. Yeah. Plugs. Right. Anyway, guys, by the time this comes out... We don't know. You will have known that we decided to do... You know. Now. You definitely know. That we're having a second show at Radio City. Ah! Crazy. Was that your reaction? Ha! Oh, now I'm boring you. Radio City's boring. Fuck you. Been up since four, bitch. Oh, yeah. Children. No. I got up to go to the gym. Nightmares? Got up to go to the gym. What was that? Oh!

Give me that, give me that baby. - After it, gotta get after it. - Just wait till Poppy pops out. - Too much, who's that? - You. - I'm Poppy? - Yeah, if you pop out like Poppy, what's up bitch? - Oh, I didn't know I'd be Poppy like that. - Of course, I mean I can, look at me. - Oh, is Poppy because I'm Hispanic? - Right. - Gotcha, so how does Poppy be poppin'?

What? What am I going to be popping out? What poppy be popping? No, I just mean like, you know, pop out. Like, you're popping out. Popping out where? Like, just like in life. But I don't need to go to the gym to be popping out. I'd be popping out. That's what I'm saying. I'm popping out this summer. Like, I'm popping. You know what I'm saying? No. I'm pulling up. What's up? I'm not pulling up. Frankie, I don't know that you know what I'm saying. I don't. I'm saying, I'm trying to compliment you. Thank you. And now you're making me. Thank you. Thank you. Scrambled eggs. I'm getting scrambled eggs in here. Yeah, well.

Anyway, a child's way of eating eggs. Can we can throw that in there, right? I'll get back to you on that Radio City we're doing another show the day after tickets went on sale October 2nd, that's not true. The show is October 2nd The tickets go on sale whatever the fuck this is July 10th July 10th They went on sale, but you can get them at the basement com or on ticket master if there's some left and

We hope there isn't. By the time you're watching this, we hope it's sold out. We do finger crosses. We do this. We're saying it anyway on the show because we're scared. Yeah, we're not sure, honestly, because things have been crazy. I heard you. There's a squeak in there. You're like, ah, a little crazy. Try to make the squeakiest noise you've ever made in your life. That's good. No? I'm going to go higher. I'm going to try. I'm going to try and go. Go loud, though. Go loud. Give me loud. Don't scream, but just like.

Hold on. Don't do that. Okay, go. I can't. It's because it's too tight. That sounded like a balloon. A big balloon. It did, and my throat hurts. Mine too. I gotta, you gotta tighten it up. I got like a vibration in the back of my neck, and I don't know if that's good or bad. You gotta tighten it. You gotta tighten up those vocal cords in order to... Go, go, go. Yo, you're letting too much air out now. You gotta... I know, okay. I don't know if I... I hate this. Also, I just remembered that people are listening, and they're probably not happy. Some fucking...

Awesome guy who got us by the way. What'd he say? Tweeted at us like, next time don't fucking scream. You lost a subscriber. See ya. Fucking nerd. If he didn't leave last time, he's definitely leaving after this. Oh, fucking bye-bye. Yeah. For, you know. Um.

Anyway, yeah. Go get the tickets at basemeyard.com. There's no pre-sale code or any of that. Just go get your tickets at the ticket shop. We're trying to sell two shows at Radio City so that we can... I don't know. What is happening? What is our lives going on? Lose our mind a little bit more. I woke up at 4 a.m. I'm trying to get after it. Trying to be more healthy because I have been eating quite a bit of hot dogs. Things happen.

Things happen. Oh, it was the 4th of July, so it was a hot dog eating celebration. Extravaganza. I actually didn't have one on the 4th of July. There wasn't any afoot. You know, I'm going to start. Rosé, though. Rosé, though. You have, you're a fake dog sucking season supporter. You. What? I'm just calling it how I see it, bitch. No. How many hot dogs have you had this year? What do you think? I'll keep it count. Yeah, I hope you would. Over or under 10? Over 10.

All right. I recant my statement previously. Yeah, I almost threw this thing at you. I just, I want to make sure that... I had like three, I think.

Okay, not enough. I had like eight. I also went to a football, a baseball game not too long ago. Dogged. Dog it up. Yeah. Dogs are life, honestly. So I just wanted to make sure because I know last year you were just like, oh, I'm not having a lot of salads. I had a bad season last year. You did have a bad season last year. It was your off year. This is a contract year. So you got to put up numbers to get that fucking free agent contract. Exactly. Exactly.

Did you watch the hot dog eating contest? Of course I watched it, dude. I actually raced home to watch it. Where were you? And why were you not fucking pre-gaming the hot dog eating competition? I was. You know what I did? I went to Crumble Cookie. All right. So you put some form of garbage in your system in order to watch other people put other forms of garbage. I'll be honest with you.

Kind of addicted to that shit now. Hot dogs or crumble cookies? Or both? The answer is yes. Both. The answer is yes. Affirmative. But there isn't any near me. I've never had a crumble cookie. First of all, they're not cookies. They're cakes? Yeah. They're just big cakes. Literally, one of the things that were in it was like a strawberry shortcake. I don't care for strawberry shortcakes. Bistecca?

This thing was wet. Like a fucking, like a wet cave. The moisture content in which a strawberry shortcake might bring with it does not depend on if I am supporting it or not. Strawberry shortcake, don't care. It's like icing. There was like a... You're not going to convince me. I said I don't care. Fuck you. It's not, it's the lowest... Ooh, they had a cornbread one. Stupid. Frankie. Stupid. Frankie. Cornbread is not a cookie, and nor shall it be.

Cornbread is mid at best. Wow, you sounded old saying that. No, but that's the whole point of these ridiculous cookie places is that you make... What do you do? Get a chocolate chip? Yes.

Get that anywhere. Why? Why must you? Why can't you just go get a good... How vanilla are you? Call me vanilla, Joe. You're vanilla. Chocolate chip. With my cookies, I'll be vanilla Frank. That's completely fine. Chocolate chip, don't get me started. Have fun. Have fun with your life. Don't get me started on snickerdoodle. Don't get me started on snickerdoodle. I love snickerdoodle. Don't get me started. You know what? You might disagree with me on this one. Cinnamon raisin, a very good cookie. I like cinnamon. Cinnamon is incredible, an incredible...

Incredible. Hit me as hard as you can with your hands. No problem. But yeah, no, I love cinnamon, but like, I don't, raisins are just like. I like raisins. They're like not good. That's crazy. You're turning your back on grapes after they've been dried. You're a big fucking wine guy, but the moment that they fucking lose their, you're a fat shamer. That's what you are. Fat shamer? Yeah. Well, no, I guess that would be the other way. Grapes are fat. Grapes are fat. So you're a skinny shamer, you piece of shit.

I feel like there's a better name for that. Grapes are just fucking... I mean, raisins are just grapes on Ozempic. That's all it is. No, they're just like old. They're dry. I like grapes. Raisins look like my grandma's knuckles. I'll tell you this though, right now. Oh, God.

White raisins do look like old women's hands. Just even the other ones. If you look at a raisin, you're like, this looks like an old knee. I'll tell you this. I've looked at an old woman's legs and I've seen raisins. You know what I'm saying? What is it about old white people's legs that's so bad? What is that? It's just like once they hit a certain age, blood just stops flowing below the waist. And then what? Their legs turn into a deli meat? What is that?

It turns into like, you know, like in the 90s, how they had those like monster balls that you like squish and like an eye pops out and like you could see veins. Yeah. That's what old lady legs turn into all the time. I don't like it. It's just weird. They start to look like a... Their veins go into... Like a white chocolate bar. Yeah, their veins become like...

You know, like a fucking radio wave. I don't want to see that shit. Yeah, it's very squiggly. Ladies. It looks like a hiking trail. Does it look like an app? They do. It does, yeah. What is that? It does. I don't like to look at a fucking topographic map of the Rocky Mountains and be like, that's my grandmother's legs. Yeah, yeah. I don't like it. I mean, I do think that people who are above 80 years old deserve to wear shorts because it gets hot for sure. Absolutely not. But I don't want to be around... Old people take shorts from all old people. No. No.

It's like staring at a Jackson Pollock painting. How are Spanish... This is crazy. How are Spanish old people's legs? How are they? There's no hair on them. No hair. No hair. I don't think that old people are hairy. There's some old hairy people. No, it falls out. No. Or it just gets like stringy. Well, so like I'm thinking of like my dad because although he's only 63 years old, his body is aged like...

milk in the sun. Internally, he's like 98. Okay. And his legs, basically, he has like, you can count all the hairs he has left on his legs. Yeah. And then there's just a part where he had his boots...

That it just like shaved away at his skin. So it's just like fucking baby smooth. So he's got like a smooth, like where his boot was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like his stirrup. You know what I'm talking about? Okay. But you know that. So how, how many times have you pet your father's feet? I've not pet them. I've seen them, but you said they're smooth. That's a touch thing, buddy. You kind of caught me there. I'm not going to lie. Honestly, I've touched them by accident. You're going to tell me.

You're gonna tell me like you haven't seen a bald person who immediately want to touch their head? I've touched my dad's legs just to see how just like hairless they are. But like that's just your dad. Like usually like your aunts and uncles and like grandparents and stuff, their legs are like... I'll tell you this. I don't see enough of my aunts and uncles in order to really tell if their legs are super hairless. And grandparents, I couldn't remember. I could barely remember their face. You don't even... You don't really see old people's legs that often. Thank God. They start pantsing it up. Thank God.

Honestly. My grandma used to rock shorts a lot. And we were all worse off for it. Let me say that very clearly. She was like... And your grandmother was basically translucent. She was. She was like those, like... You ever see that episode of SpongeBob where he holds the water bag and his hand's under it with the light and he goes... And if I were to grab your grandmother's leg, which at this point is just bone, back then, circa 2010. Just bone. You fucking bastard. I can guarantee I can, like, fucking...

If I were to put a note on one side of your grandmother's leg, I could read it from the other side. I was going to describe it as a glass of water. Well, no. It's more of like if you see a baby bird on the street. Yeah, and they're all just dead. But their eyes are closed, but you can see their eyes still. You can see where their eyes were. Their eyelids are basically see-through. Yeah, and it's like, okay, I can see through the whole body. Yes, yes, yes. And that's kind of... Put it like this.

You ever, like, in, like, a, you know, some form of an anatomy textbook? We have so many examples. You ever seen an anatomy textbook and they always show, it'll be, like, one page, it'll be, like, all of the, you know, the nerve endings in our body. And then you... Just a guy like this? Yeah. And then another page and it's, like, all the muscles. And then another page... Organs. Organs. And then another page, it's the skeleton. Another page... It's, like...

Mostly nerve endings I could see on your grandmother's legs. I remember that pretty clearly. Yeah. I remember her fingers also being sharp. What? My grandmother had sharp fingers? Yeah, I remember, like, not because of her nails, but, like, I remember the ends of her fingers were just particularly sharp. Like they came to a point? Yeah. I don't remember that about her. I remember they were, like, tiny. Like, it was, like, no meat.

Well, yeah. She's boned. Yeah, she's boned. And not good meat, even if there was anything there, right? Well, I mean, like, she was old. She doesn't get that much meat. Yeah. She was all right. Well, yeah. Anyway, yeah, I did watch the hot dog eating contest.

Did watch that. Also, wait, I took pictures of... That's why I can't get see-through spring rolls. Have you ever seen those with the clear wrapping? That is a great example. That's exactly what old people legs are. Go to any Asian fusion restaurant, and they always have a spring roll or a vegetable roll or egg roll that has a clear wrapping on it, and you can see the insides very clearly. That's old people legs. Yeah, you are right. But while...

We just did 10 minutes on old people legs. Well, you just couldn't stop. And why do old men's knees just get fat? You know what I'm talking about? I think that's just old Italian guys. No, my dad's knees. It looked like someone put a fucking bat in between his legs. Again, internally, 98. We're talking about external. Chief? Yeah. His insides believed he was way older than his outsides. Anyway.

The hot dog eating contest, I took pictures because it's so ridiculous to, like, watch this thing. It's insane. They give them, like, walkouts with, like, he's done this and that and he's... And I'm like, this is wild. I mean, listen, you've got to commit to the bit. If you're going to go for it and have belts like fucking wrestling, commit to it. This one guy... So they have, like, the guy's name and his age and height and where he's from. And then under that, just, like, a little factoid or whatever. This one says, once ate 10 pounds of mac and cheese in 20 minutes. What?

That's insane. Half a pound of mac and cheese. How hard is that actually? Mac and cheese is dense. Joey, a box of Velveeta is a pound. What? A box? No way. Yeah, it's a pound of pasta. With the cheese though? I mean, maybe. With the cheese makes it heavier. Maybe. I mean, hold on. Back on the phone. You see this kid? He just needs a fucking irrelevant fact and he needs to know.

Hold on, baby. You need 12. Oh, no, it's not. It's actually less. Probably with the cheese, it's a pound because it's 12 ounces of pasta, maybe. I immediately take back what I said then. Also, pasta gets heavier when it's cooked. Yes, correct. So like 10 of those in 20 minutes. I'll say this. If it's Velveeta, I might get three pounds down.

Velveeta's delish. I might get three pounds down because I'll eat it so quick my body won't realize it's in me. I'll be honest with you. If it was the Spongebob Squarepants shaped Kraft mac and cheese, I might be able to top this guy's record. Why is mac and cheese better as characters? Because you could blow air and suck through it. There's that sucking thing you do. There it is.

It always finds its way into our shows. And it doesn't even need to work laboriously to do it. It just finds its way. You honestly don't relate to when I say that? You have named enough foods that you suck liquids through that it makes me think that you just might start doing it to penises. No. That's not even how you would suck a penis.

If you give me a piece of mac and cheese, I'll do it. So I'll give you a cucumber and mac and cheese. Cucumber? No. For being a penis. It needs to be porous.

Oh, cucumbers are pretty porous. No, they're not. They're not actually. Yeah. More definitions, you know, but anyway, this guy says once they 10 pounds of Mac and cheese, the next guy, I took a picture. I just took a picture. Just to, I was sending it to like my group chat being like getting ready, whatever. And then I, I, the next guy, his fact was enjoys bow hunting, hiking and building computers.

Not as cool as 10 pounds of mac and cheese. Also, are you even at the right place? Yeah. This guy's eating 10 pounds of mac and cheese and you're building computers? Well, that's probably how he trained for it is he ate like a whole elk. You know what I'm saying? Like he just shot and killed one whole giant elk, which they could be what, like 200 pounds? An elk? Yeah. Don't you fucking reach for that thing. Just guess. 200. Elks are big, bro. 200 pounds. I would say like probably, yeah. I mean, 200 is probably 200 to 300 pounds probably. They're big.

I don't care how much they weigh, though. Hey, Siri, how much does an elk weigh? No Siri in here or an Alexa. Someone's phone is going off right now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, someone's right now. Someone's getting the... It's like... Was that your Alexa impression? That was Siri, actually. Yeah. Did you see also the video of the guy... The lemonade? Yeah, and he just started... Yeah, the poor guy. He's just like... Bro, so the... This is so crazy because...

It never hit me until like last year that when you watch the hot dog eating contest if you're another country Yeah, looking at that. You're like this is what Americans are. Yeah a gallon of lemonade Yeah, honestly if I'm being really honest with you if you were to send me to a remote island That has had no contact with the outside world. There's that one there. They're like cannibals I don't know where they are, but they're there and you were to say you have to bring a

10 things. They could be pieces of media. They could be items. They could be whatever to show these people to explain what the United States is. Hot dog eating contest is up there. Honestly, in the top five. That's an insane tradition. The fact that people camp out. We're going to take, not by my definition, but by the, what do they know? FDA's definition. One of the most unhealthy foods you can eat. And we're going to eat as many as humanly possible foods.

In a short period of time. And then we're going to give a ton of money to the person that does it. We're going to dunk the bread in water and shove it. That's the worst part for me. It's so disgusting. The hot dogs, I'm all about. It's the dunking of the wet bread. Have you ever tried to eat two at one time? Like, do that? I can't. Not consciously. I...

I so unconsciously, how would you just say like in your sleep? I haven't like been like, I'm going to try to do it. I might have done it by like double stuffing a bun or something. Whoa, dude, you DP to bun and then ate it. I maybe I'm not quite sure. It's possible. It has happened in a drunken stupor.

I want to try and do that. They do like the wiggle. I don't like the wiggle. The wiggle bothers me. Yeah, because it's like now you're fucking with like... Yeah. Like the fact they have it down to a science, I don't like that either. Like we shouldn't be putting as much...

into, like, the Olympics as we do, like, the hot dog eating contest. That just seems a little out of place. Yeah, and also, like, it should be fun, bro. Like, you're gonna eat 70 hot dogs? The whole crowd's like, oh, all right, what the fuck? Didn't an Italian guy win it this year? He was, like, fucking, you know, like, Giuseppe Bucatepepo or something. Yeah, it was, like, Peter Bonalucci or something like that. Yeah, damn, the Italians needed this, honestly. He ate 50-something. Yeah, and then didn't fucking... What's his name? Chestnut for, like, charity ate 70 in, like, half the time. That is...

I don't even know. Just crazy. Just absolutely crazy. What is the... I don't know. I just don't... If it were something like nachos, I could do nachos. We should do an eating contest somewhere. We did. On Sending Out of Studios where we face off against... Yeah, I know. Oh, like on one of our shows, we do like, this is the place where you need to eat like a four pound burrito. Yeah, like if we could do one like together...

I mean like, but like I'm saying like when we go to a city like before the show, we do it. There's one, fuck, where is it? I think it's, there's a place by me, which we're not doing a show by me, but what I'm saying is like, it's like you have to eat a whole pie of pizza in an hour. I think it's called like Pete and Elda's is the place. I could be butchering it, but like that sounds way easy.

One person? Whole pie? Dude, you could do that. Definitely possible. I've eaten like six slices and been like, I gotta stop. I don't know. I feel like I could definitely eat four, like without a doubt. But that's half. So the rest of the four, I would have to like really shovel in. The last two, I would probably piop. You'd be throwing uppies? Yeah. I don't know. I could do it. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do like...

Maybe for the Texas shows, like somewhere down there, we find like, these are the fucking, you know, tit-sucking, big fucking boneless wings challenge. And it's like, okay. I think we could do something like that. That'd be a good video. I have my picture on the wall at some place. Cheatburger, Cheatburger? Yes! Yeah, I figured it out. Oh my god, bro. I've been trying to remember the name of that fucking place forever. Yeah, well, I remember because it was an SNL skit. But, you know, what do I know? Chip? Um...

Cheap burger, cheap burger, cheap burger, cheap burger. Did you do on the wall? I never went to Cheap Burger, Cheap Burger. No? Actually, I think I had gone, but I never did the challenge. I was like freshly 18, just got my license, went there. I remember I would always... Whenever we'd go to Hooters, I'd be like, give me the 911 wings, thinking that they were going to put my picture up. It wasn't a challenge. They weren't putting my picture up. Yeah. Also, wings at Hooters? Over, right? No, no, no, no. Wings... Believe it or not, Hooters had good wings. They also...

I'm not going to make this stupid joke. It's from The Office where he's just like, can I get the chicken breast? Hold the chicken. No, I remember Hooters had good wings. Joey would show up with $20 for him and Keith, and they'd both get like three sodas each and like cheeseburgers and be like, I don't know.

I cannot even, guys, I can't even begin to explain how far from the truth that actually is. No, no, no. It happened once and it didn't happen multiple times. It did not happen. That never happened. Frankie, what you're describing. Can I ask you a question? No, you don't get to lie and change the subject. I'm going to ask you a question. It's about this subject. Go. What gain do I get out of lying about that?

All you do is lie! Don't say that! Don't say that! I don't like that! Because then people watch this and they're just like, he's a liar. I'm not a liar. Good! Why would I lie about fucking you eating at Hooters? Because you're trying to make me look bad. No, I don't have to try. Trust me. You do it well enough. I...

There was a time, there was a one time, obviously I'm joking about it all the time. I know what you're talking about. And it was, you make it seem it was me, you, and Keith who went to Hooters. There was 40 people, yes, other people also did the same thing. I didn't do that! I don't host this with other people! No one cares about how funny it is that Davino's an idiot, they care about how funny it is that you're an idiot. Oh, and you were just like, I have a billion dollars, I have my money, I pay for everything. No, no, no, no, no, I also probably did it too. I also probably did it too. But, it's not funny when I talk about myself.

Making up stories. I'm not making up stories. This is this is I remember there was a one time a fiction podcast No, no, no nonfiction podcast. So watch it. Well, I think you're mixing up. Oh, no, you're right I always mix up nonfiction and fiction there was that one time that we went that we were legitimately like $120 short. Do you remember that? Yeah, and we were like I only had four wings. I didn't eat I was like we ordered for the table. Yeah. Yeah there but Have you ever skipped out on a bill?

I think I told this story. You ran out? Yeah, I think I told this story. Wait, you just ran? Yeah, I think I told it. Have you? You tell your story first because it might be better than mine. I did it in a cab once. Oh.

You dirty little bitch. Because back then... Back then, cabs couldn't track you. Yeah, it was just like you would get in and they would just... Which is kind of a stupid system when you think about it. Oh, it's been stupid from get-go. So you would get into a cab. This is so weird that I'm explaining. Cabs? A lot of people didn't grow up in major metropolitan markets, so they don't know. You'd walk to the corner and go, and a car would stop and take you wherever you want. And you'd haggle price.

Yeah, and then when you get to the place that you're going to, like, okay, right here, then they have to... You could give them cash. I think back then it was just cash. Oh, no. Most of them were just cash, but some of them did have a card reader in the back. But they would say, like, it doesn't work. But you'd be like, it's working. I see it. But when you're a fucking idiot and you're 17 or... Oh, no. You know what I did that was even worse? I felt so bad. You screamed racial slurs at the cab driver? No. Oh, okay. That's what I was... But I was...

I was 18 years old or 19 and I was drunk in a cab. Yep. And I was hanging out with my friends from high school for the first time, like in whatever. So for some reason, like the cab driver's license, like taxi license was right in front of me. So I just took it.

And then we left and we paid for the cab and we were walking away. Then the guy got on the phone and he was like, yo, please just like return this thing, like whatever. And then... You felt bad. Joey's such a feel badder. I felt so bad. So I was like, we have to go back. So we went back and I was like, we're going to help you look for it. Maybe it came out. I don't know. Oh, you lied about taking it. 100%. Okay, you're right. And then I did the old like...

Here it is. Found it. Oh, it was right? The guy probably was like, thank you, you drunken little bitch. Yeah. Almost beat the shit out of you. Yeah. But I felt horrible. Yeah. Well, I mean, you did the right thing at the end. I had to give it back. Yeah. You did. You did. I felt really bad. Mine I felt way worse for because I was at, there was a bar in Astoria. It was closer to like where like Bryant is. And it did 25 cent wings on like whatever day it was. You walked out on a 25 cent wing bill? Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.

I went down on an $8 bill. Listen, no, listen. I went with several people, all of which I will not name because I don't know if they want to be a part of this story. Don't implicate them. Yeah. And we ordered a ton of wings, but they were, bro, legitimately awful.

Couldn't have been... They somehow fucked this up. They're a quarter. But you would expect that they would at least be somewhat tasty. I remember we got hot, we got mild, we got parm garlic. The parm garlic was literally just like... You know how they have those containers of minced garlic in water? It was just like someone put a wing and dipped it in there and put it on the plate. It was awful.

And one of our friends, jokingly, now I know jokingly, said like, yo, let's run out on the bill. Let's run out on the bill. Let's run out on the bill. And I was just like, guys, we can't do that. This poor fucking girl. They were like, yo, let's run out. Let's run out. I was like, no. And the way that we were positioned was like, we were sitting here. There was a hallway to a bathroom. And then there were two doors, like,

And like there was like something in the middle that like blocked the hallway So like you couldn't see on the other side of it and there were two doors Right here so like We're sitting there and i'm like guys i'm not good and they're like fucking with me at this now knowing they're like fucking with me Like yo, we're gonna we're gonna run out. We're gonna skip out I'm like guys, please don't like I come like this is fucked up And they were just like no we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it and I was just like so I went to One of the guys went to the bathroom and then I went to the bathroom a couple minutes after And he looks at me one person's still at the table

And he looks at me and he goes, are you ready to run? And I go, no, please don't do this. And I look outside and I see one of our friends walking. I had come to find out they were just walking to get their car because they were the DD. They drove. And I saw them walking outside and I freaked out and I sprinted and ran down the block and like just ran. What did the other person do? One of the other two people that were still in there ran out too. And the fucking bar manager ran out and chased us.

And then one of the persons, like the other person stayed there and they were just like,

They were just like watching us run away and they're sitting and the poor fucking waitress starts crying Oh, like they're gonna make me pay for this like oh my god, you fuck you go back to that place right now no, I think it closed and The remaining friend was just like I don't know why they did that they're assholes He paid for everything Oh and then met us at Ditmar station afterward and was like you fucking idiot I was like bro You guys said you were running and I saw one person outside so I took off they're like we were fucking with you and

And I just, I felt so bad. I didn't go back, obviously. Yeah. I haven't been back there since. I should probably go back. 0% chance a girl still works there. Do you know what it's called? I mean, if I look it up, I could find it. It was on the corner of like 28th Avenue or 30th Avenue and like 46th Street or something like that. Is it the Keys? The Keys. It's like a bar. Over there? Yeah. I don't think so. I think the place closed down. I think it is gone, but... Well...

I felt bad. I felt bad. I felt bad. I love that you ran out. Everyone's like, what are you doing? Yeah. And then like, I freaked out because I saw one of them out there. And then we all met up at the second bar and I felt bad. I paid like, either I paid for a couple of drinks for the person that paid or like, I just paid them back. Yeah. But yeah, it was crazy. Also, it was like cheap. It was like 50 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't that expensive. That's what I'm saying. 25 cent wings. How much could it possibly be? And we all got like two beers each or something like that. Or like the non DD. So like six beers, you know, not bad.

Well, you're going to make that girl pay for it. I heard she's homeless now. You happy? I mean, maybe it's something she did. Or something that happened to her. We do have sponsors for today. The first one being Squarespace. You're going to build your website. You're going to want to do that with Squarespace. It's the best platform to do it with, okay? They have lovely templates that are going to make it very easy to build a very professional-looking website. And listen, your website is your first impression. So...

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And guess what? Since Joey brought it up, since Joey put a little crumb down at my feet, I'm going to be the little rat in this room and I'm going to eat that shit up, baby. The Basement Yard Experience. We're out. We're about. We're living it up and we're not taking any crap. That doesn't rhyme. Damn it. But listen, the Basement Yard Experience, we are after it. We're actually getting ready for a fucking...

Slate of shows that we're excited for. So we hope you're excited for it. So if you're coming to any of those shows, make sure you go check out thebasementyard.com slash submit. A part of the shows, we like them to be interactive. We like to talk to you. You talk to us. We like to hear from you guys and funny stories, ha-has, he-he's, and all of that stuff. No cap, no kizzy.

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Thanks for being our Schmesties. He's got Schmesties, baby. I love it. Shout out to a madman. He did an IRL stream playing chandelier with my brothers. Oh, did he? Yeah. I was there that day. Apparently not. Well, I went home. I just went for the day. Yeah, I heard. My brothers were like, Joey showed up in a fucking thick button-down shirt, and it was like 95 degrees. No, it was like a breathable. You have an inability to plan your outfit based on the weather.

Frank, you don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. Like 98% of the time. There was one of our shows that we did that you were wearing like a pretty thick shirt and I forgot which one and it was hot. Hot like a donkey. That's not even a fucking expression. It was hot. Hot like a donkey. It was hot like a donkey. No, it was not.

I think everything was totally fine. And I was fine. I think it probably was. And I brought a bathing suit and a shirt. That's like breathable. That's a button down bathing suit. I went into the water.

Oh, I thought you were saying at our shows. I was like, why the hell were you wearing a bathing suit at our shows? No, no. How was the water? Did it feel good? Mad good. Went out on the boat. Did a little swimmy swam. Oh, I love swimmy swams. Didn't drink, though, because I had to drive home. That sucks. Yeah. Why not? Why? Oh, because Angel's family was up there, so I was like, well, yeah. Oh, you didn't want to push it, you know.

If I'm in the lake, I feel incomplete unless there's a drink in my hand. I mean, I was in the water and I was swimming. And I had one. You indulged, baby. I have one. Oh, man. I remember when there was a time where Danny and I were at the lake. This was like 2013, 2014 when it was just like literally wake up, drink, drink.

Yeah. Like get after it. And him and I were on a raft and like, you know how my dad has like those floating islands. Uh huh. And one person from the boat was throwing the beers. They were bottles, glass bottles of Presidente. And he was, you were launching glass bottles. Yeah. If it hits something, it hits the water. But what we didn't find out is that what we found out was glass bottles sink. Yeah. So naturally we got goggles and we went down and we got them. And you drank them? Hell yeah. Yeah.

What do you mean, and you drank them? What else are you going to do with them? I didn't know you could even go down that far. Yeah, it's like 20-something feet, maybe less. Frankie. This is how you do it. Are you ready? You didn't swim down 20 feet. Listen, you could ask. He might not remember it. Your ears would explode. No, not 20. All right, maybe it's not 20 feet. Maybe it was like 12 feet. But.

But much more but I did I did this I did this this is the best way for those of you guys that want to know how to swim guys hey ladies and gentlemen we have a The the diving team here. He's going to teach us how to do it if you Frank Frank Frank I love how you thought you were gonna teach an audience something and all you did was this I

You know what it is? He's got young children who are like very new to the world and don't know things. He forgets that he's talking to people that have lived the same amount of years as him. And he thinks that we don't know fucking anything. You would blow out and you would just do this. And do this. And you go down so fast. I know. And you go down so fast. And then when you're down there, you have like seven, eight seconds to grab something and then go back up. When you get down there, you can see.

Goggles baby. I know but still it looks like I mean once you get closer to the bottom like it gets less murky I don't I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know if I see a fish down there forget I'm well when we were younger that Happened where we went underwater with goggles like that's the reason we don't go underwater with goggles in the lake often because we went underwater with Goggles and they're there the lake has a lot of a fish called walleye you ever heard of a walleye look that shit up legitimately look it up legitimately

A foot from my face, max. No, no, no. What? How do you spell it? Wall? It says phone cases. What the fuck is this? Fish. Oh, well, I put the letter I. You're just making fun of me for being an idiot. What? Yeah, baby. Imagine seeing that fucking mug in yours. This is a big fish. Yeah, dude. They get big. No.

They're like protected. They're not allowed to, you can only get like fish for like two a day. Tell you what, you're going to need an army to protect them if they're a foot away from my face. I'm snapping it in half. Yeah, it's got like spines on its back and shit. Don't like its spines? Yeah, the fin is like spiny a little bit. Are you saying it's like spiky? Yeah, that one too. Spines is just spiny. You ever heard of a stonefish? It's like the most venomous fish. You step on it and it releases a blue toxin into you.

Yeah, there's that freak Coyote Peterson, I think is his name. He gets stung by a bunch of bugs and fish and stuff. Guy's a nutjob. He's a fucking idiot. Yeah. He's a smart guy, actually. He uses it for educational purposes. But like, he... Go... Bro, stone... Look up stonefish needle. Look it up. Look up that shit. Imagine this going into your foot. Stonefish needle. Yeah. It's a cool color. It is. It's blue.

But I don't like it. Yeah, I don't either. You know what part of TikTok I've gone down? The rabbit hole I've gone down? The people that scuba dive and hunt lionfish. You ever seen those? No. They just have that big spear with like two fucking tongs on it. And they click a button and go... And they just go... And they just fucking... That's cool. And they put them in a big, you know, like a big fucking tube. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like that's probably the most manly thing you could do on earth. Hunt fish? It's like be in the water with a wooden spear and then just be like, and then you have dinner and then you eat fish that night. No, being in the water and poking it is nothing. I want to javelin throw this thing. Oh. I'm letting you know right now, if I can figure out how to throw a javelin, it's over for you guys. Are you talking directly to the fish? Yes.

It is over for you walleyes, dude. Dude, just letting you know, if I can figure out how to throw a javelin, problem. If you're a fish, you're in trouble, baby. Damn, that would be cool. You're right. Like jumping off a deck with a thing in your hand and being like, oh. And then you come out and you're like, I got it. Bro, if I catch a fish with a javelin, I'll eat it raw. I don't give a fuck.

I care because I don't wanna get sick, but you could do that. But what about catching with your bare hands? Oh, like people that noodle? Crazy. Have you ever seen the videos of people that just go into fucking backwater swamps and they go underwater and they're like, oh, I found a catfish den. And it's like a tunnel underwater. And then they go in and they fucking catch a catfish the size of my fucking dog.

Don't have a dog dog's dead too big I've seen one where it's like it was like a girl and her whole arm up to here had the fish on it And I was like bro, what was this a porn thing? You were looking at it was a girls can fish sexism I'm not no this guy loves fucking. Oh, I found fucking cake farters. I found fucking let it go five years ago Maybe we had that conversation It's funny. It just came back up on the show the boys. Have you do you watch that show?

I have, but I haven't watched the new season. Oh, the new season. Just a spoiler alert, I guess. There is a cake farter episode where he's just like, fart on it. And he farts and he's like, oh, it's so hot. Bro, you need to watch that show. It's fucking crazy. Ew. There's like titty sucking in it. Oh, nice. Dicks, like long dicks. Oh, what? Yeah. Long dicks? There's a superhero whose name is Love Sausage. I'm watching Dragons, House of Dragons. Don't care for that shit. It's got a small dick in it. I don't give a fuck about it.

I don't care about Dragon. Why are you yelling? I don't care. Bro, I'm coming around to realize Game of Thrones is overrated. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Not even top five shows of all time. Not even top ten. You're getting crazy. No, I'm being honest. The storytelling is just so much.

There's so much. What they do is they put fucking dragons and fucking incest and like old timey talk. That's real though. They were incesting. Stupid. It's not stupid. It's reporting history. Joey's sitting here defending incest. Oh, you got me. Shit. I'm not defending incest. But what do you want them to do? You want them to fall in love with the girl down the street? No, she's a peasant. So you got to fuck your cousin who's also royalty. Ew.

You're honestly digging your whole way. Yeah, I said ill. You're saying he's not going to fall in love with a peasant. Then he went ill. That was a real ill that you did. Because I said you're going to fuck your royal cousin. No, and then you said like fall in love with a peasant. Ew. That was a real one that you said. I did not say that. Man. Stupid ears. Remember when you said you don't lie? Lie.

Honestly, that might just be I misremembered it. But second, honestly, I am coming around to seriously thinking that it's a little overrated. And the ending was, I know people are just like, hindsight, it wasn't that bad. Not good. No, I don't think the ending was great. Not good. It was just, this is what the show did. This is what the show did. This is why people think it's better. Nine seasons of incredible TV. This is why people think it's better than it actually is. It was the first show of its kind to have this fucking insane budget.

Okay, each episode was like two million dollars. Two, it puts fucking sword fights and the unpredictability of anyone could die and fucking dicks getting chopped off and brothers and sisters fucking each other and dragons.

And they add 400 characters. What more could you need? 400 characters. And people are just like, oh, it's the greatest thing ever. We're going to look back and just be like, yo, this was too much. No, they're not. This was too much. Look back. Bro, we can do that now. Too much. No. Too much. It's a good show. I'll take it. You can debate five, but there's no way you can say it's not top 10. There's no way. Sopranos. Don't even start there. Start at something that I would be upset at. The Office. The Office.

The Office is a better show than Game of Thrones. Yes. Yes. You're also naming a different type of show. Okay, fair. The Wire. Why are you starting there? The Wire and Sopranos are regarded as like one, two. Oh, suddenly so difficult. Season one of Jessica Jones is better than any season of Game of Thrones. Frank, you are a child and I hate you. And I hope you break your pinky.

Bodily harm. One of my favorite fingers, honestly. What's your least favorite? Don't even look at that pointer. I was going to say it might be the pointer. Your least favorite finger is your pointer? Yeah. Don't you dare. I love this ring finger. This one is my least favorite of the ten, I would say. What is the difference between them? Well, that's the ring finger for marriage. That's why you like it? Yeah.

This ring finger is just pointless. It does nothing. It means nothing. It does nothing. It definitely doesn't do nothing. It does nothing. It's underappreciated, it sounds like. Maybe show it some love. Doesn't need it. Don't care for it. I don't know what's happening anymore. Pinkies, though. No, pinkies are sick, dude. What's the show... Oh. Can't hang 10 if you don't got a pinky. If you... I've never done that in my life, so I think I'm good. If you...

Actually, you want to know something funny? When I was on the boat in Connecticut, you know, you like drive by people on a boat and you're like, hey, to like strangers and they wave back. I went like this. Just came out of me. Just came out. And a girl did it back. And I was like, yeah. Remember before he was calling me a liar and he just said he'd never done that his entire life. And he literally did it within days of this recording. I changed my mind.

And then told the truth. So you went to go lie initially. Crazy. Read the second round of ads before I fucking start unloading on you. This guy's horny. All right, we'll get back to the TV show talk after you do that little stupid thing over there. Okay. I should probably not do that. How dare you, Francis? I should probably not do that, honestly. The stupid thing I was going to talk about is the Everything Bagel hot sauce from Secret Handshake Food Co. is now in a ton of Whole Foods markets nationwide and a ton of...

Walmart's nationwide. So what you can do is you can go to either of those websites, type in the, you know, see where you can find it at any shows that are... Anyway, first of all, you almost legitimately broke the desk. Yeah. It's already broken. Go get the hot sauce. Heatness.com or go get it at Walmart. Go get it at Whole Foods and go get it somewhere else. At the heatness.com. There you go. But yeah, we... This podcast...

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That was very funny. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Also, are we going to talk about the big elephant in the room? The Florida man who sneezed and then blew out his asshole? That's a real story, fellas. This is what I fear whenever I sneeze, that something's going to pop out. I coughed or sneezed or something happened where something was coming out of my face and

and my tongue blocked air in my mouth. - You almost died. - It felt like a pop and I was, I literally was like this. People, people-- - For like the day, I was scared. - People that like hold in their sneezes and do that, you know they--

And I'm like, bro. You're going to die. Your head is going to explode. Like, that's exactly what I imagined happening. I don't know how you learn like that. Like, how does it... Because people just like shut that sneeze up. And I get that to a degree. But like, you need to let that bitch fly, baby. Like, boss does that. Boss is like... And I'm just like... And he's like a big... He's like a built dude. Like, let that fucking sneeze go, bitch. Yeah, Frankie wants to get sprayed. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to get sprayed. But you ever see people who are like...

It's almost like they never sneeze because they're like, you. And I'm like, you're just talking. I hate that. That's not a sneeze. A sneeze requires air. You. I'm like, bro, you're speaking. That's not sneezing. That's what quarterbacks do. You. Yeah, I don't like that either. I need to let that fucking shit go. But I guess this is why people say don't do that because then your fucking butthole falls out. Butthole's falling out. Crazy, dude. Big fear. This sneer...

This sneeze had some fucking power behind it. Yeah. Could you imagine sneezing to the point where your fucking asshole just opens and just like everything just falls out? Well, I imagine he was older and his asshole was like, has given up. Does that happen? I'm assuming. Things get looser. That's right. It's like, Ray, you got a little tight butt over there. You know, it's going to be hard. You have to sneeze to fucking fly out of there. I got to be honest with you.

I kind of don't like you talking about how tight my butt is, okay? Would you like me to do the opposite? No, I don't want you to talk about my butt and any of its strength. Would you rather it be tight or loose? Duh. Tight. What kind of a question is that? Who wants to be walking around with just a fucking open purse? You know, that's actually a funny way. So, you know, like homophobic dudes, you're like...

It's like well don't fucking talk about touching my ass It's fucking gay And you're like alright But yo If you had the option Would you rather a tight asshole Or a loose one They're gonna go tight tight Yeah You know It's kind of funny They'd be like no no no Nothing to go in it Yeah but You don't want it to be too tight So you can't poop

I think whatever the, you know, prerequisite amount of tightness... PSI. The normal... Yeah, the PSI. Whatever, like, the standard PSI... Of butthole tightness. Stick to that, you know? Because there are people that just, like, can't pull it together. You know, like, it's a thing. What do you mean? Well, there are, like, you know, there are, like, medical conditions that can, like, affect the strength of the muscles and, like, the sphincter. And, like, it could fucking... Like, you can't hold it. Like, you can't... Like, you'd lose the ability to fucking...

Tighten it up. Yeah. And then it just becomes crap. It becomes a crap show. Oh my God. That's a fear of mine. Just being unable to control your crap. Yeah. That's not terrifying to you? Yeah, of course. Piss is like whatever. I'll pee...

Yeah. Piss, piss, piss. You remember Chris pissed his pants last week? Oh, yeah. You know what's crazy is that same day I also pissed my pants. I just didn't send the picture of it. Wait, was that the day that I talked about how I peed my pants a little? No, that was a couple weeks ago. Dude, this is not good as a unit. Why is everyone pissing their pants? No, I think you're finally starting to see that being piss boys is the way of life, babe. What the hell does that mean? What?

These guys piss in bottles in here all the time. Pissing in the bottles. Pissing. Like, you get a little. It's just piss, dude. I know, but. Being a piss boy. The Rock pisses in bottles all the time. So he's a piss boy. He's a piss boy, too. He's part of the piss boy club. I would not say I'm a piss boy. PCB, baby. No, PBC. There's that dyslexia. PBP. What? PBC. The piss boy club. That should be fucking merch. Athena, get on that. Piss boy club? The piss boy club.

You're gonna tell me you're not a part of the piss the boy. I mean, I don't want to I don't know what I don't want to specify is just for boys it could be for anyone that identifies as anything but like the Cool the cool pee Club the CPC baby welcome CPC. Welcome to the cool pee Club women pee all the time Okay, they piss their pants. Well boys. We piss our pants too women piss their pants all the time. Oh, yeah pregnant ones. Oh

Trying to think if Becca pissed her pants pregnant. No, she didn't. She probably wouldn't tell you if she did. She's not going to announce, hey, wet, wet. I do a check every night. Let's see it. Let's see. You pee? No. Ew. No. Yeah. Piss, piss, piss. Yeah. I want you one time to just piss in a bottle and see how awesome it feels. You think I haven't pissed a bottle in my life? Like, I want you to do a week of pissing in bottles.

Frank, that's an insane request. And I don't like peeing in bottles because I feel like, what if I run out? Like the anxiety of that is like, get another bottle or you get a big bottle. I don't do that. I get a big bottle, get a big, like I had a gallon of water in my, in my, you know, like a big gallon of water in my car that I, I would pee in for like a week. Yeah. You had a half gallon of piss swashing around in your fucking passenger seat. It's not my passenger seat to my defense. Where is it? How is that better?

Because it's not like out for presentation in the front of the car. Wait till Miles gets in there. Apple juice. No, no. I make sure that anytime any family members or friends get in my car, I get rid of most of the pee. How delightful. You have so many manners. Maybe don't piss in a gallon of water. When we had Miles's birthday party at the house, I had to get rid of a couple bottles. Because people were just going to peek into your car. Yeah. I just thought my front, my windows aren't tinted. So like, I need to like, you know, make sure that there's no pee pee left over.

Question. Anyone? Any questions? Over here. All right, go ahead. When you piss in bottles in your car and then you get home, what part physically and mentally...

prevents you from taking that bottle and throwing it in that garbage. Because I know the way your house is set up, and you have to pass by your garbage cans that are outside in order to get into your house. Well... Why do you savor it and let it sit in the heat? What answer do you want? The real answer or the jokey answer? Both. Okay. Real answer is...

By the time I get home, I'm so eager to get inside and see my incredible family. No, no, no. You don't get to hide behind your family with this one, buddy. I'm so eager to get in that I leave all the piss in. I'm being honest with you. The jokey answer is I'd like to see what happens when it sits a day or two. What does the piss look like? See, I think that's the real answer. I think that you like being like, oh, this is so gross. Oh, ew. No, no. Yeah, I think that you like that it's disgusting. No, I don't. You like it. You are a sick freak. No, no. You're a piss freak. No, no.

You piss freak! Careful with the labels, okay? I'm not a piss freak. If anyone here is a piss freak... You're a hot piss freak. I'm not a hot piss freak. I have wondered if my piss would freeze, and I can't remember if it has. Have you thrown a bottle in your freezer? No, no, no. Like, in the car. Leave it overnight. Oh, my God. That scared the fuck out of me for a second. I'm gonna one day come in here with a bottle of piss for you. Cool. What am I gonna do with it? Admire it? I'm not gonna. But yeah, piss...

Does piss freeze or is it like alcohol? It just turns into like a syrup. I think it freezes. I'm going to throw up. I think it freezes. What would you do if you accidentally drank a little bit of pee? My pee. I would be so mad. Yeah. All right. I would immediately talk about it on here, though. Yeah, it would be a great episode. So? I'd be like, bro, this kid's leaving apple juice and piss around. Like, how am I supposed to tell the difference? I think for a show, for Radio City, why don't we give you a cup of... Are you insane? I'm not doing that.

Drinking your piss Just a cup Are you crazy Just a cup There is a guy on Instagram That I see Who drinks his own piss That's crazy Why do you follow him On Instagram I don't It's like this guy He's been on like Tom Segura's show before But I've seen him before Like go viral On like meme pages And stuff But he has a beard And he has like a bald head

He always talks he says the most ridiculous shit where he's like, you know like you and your boys I gotta get together and like your sacks are like just like filling because of the male energy and you have to release that and then it says like wild hate it Yeah, it's not great. But then there was a video of him saying like off-camera Like pissing into a cup and then he's just drinking. He's like, oh, it's so like tart today. I'm like, I'm gonna Don't like it. Yeah

Oh, now you hate it. Once it goes in your mouth, it can go all over your hands and all over the steering wheel, but once it hits your lips... You think I'm just willy-nilly pissing all over my car? I told you, I have a new car. I do not do that anymore. Yeah. I'll go check your car right now. Is it pissing it? No. I feel like I'm talking to my child. No. Is there piss in the car? If I go to the car right now, is there piss in there? No, there's no piss. Well, if there is, you're punished. Where can they find you? Alvarez885 on Twitter, the Frank Alvarez of all the forms of social media.

There's business car. You guys can go follow me at JoeSandio. Go follow the show at TheBaseMe on TikTok and Instagram. That is all. See you guys next time. Bye. See you at Radio City. I almost hit it. I almost got it.