Ts Madison and the Art of Bore Worm Seduction with Katya
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This episode is sponsored by our friends at Green Chef.

Fall is almost here, and even though I'm quivering with anticipation to drink spiced apple cider and consume my body weight in the melange of pumpkin spice items that are available each year, there is a better and healthier way to celebrate the autumnal equinox. Don't let the back-to-school season set back your nutrition. Let Green Chef help you out. Green Chef is making it easy to stick to healthy eating habits with a new, more flexible menu featuring over 35 customizable recipe options every week.

New options include doubling your portion of protein or veggies or swapping to a plant-based protein like organic tofu or tempeh. Are you dairy-free, gluten-free, vegetarian, or vegan? Green Chef has over 15 recipes every week to support those lifestyles and more.

Green Chef is proud to debut their healthiest menu ever and access to thousands of top-rated gyms and fitness studios worldwide from ClassPass. For a limited time, new Green Chef subscribers will also receive 50 free credits to use at ClassPass, which is about a month's worth of membership. And if you're wondering about the Green Chef's classic you already love, they still got them. As usual, customers also have the option to upgrade to proteins like organic chicken, fair trade barramundi, and wild...

caught sockeye salmon. And if you haven't tried their barramundi, you're barramissing out, folks. Every week features rotating options to suit a variety of lifestyles, including the science-backed Mediterranean diet. What are you waiting for? Go to greenchef.com slash baldclass for 50% off your first box, plus 50 free credits with ClassPass. That's code baldclass at greenchef.com slash baldclass to get 50% off your first box, plus 50

50 free class pass credits. Again, greenchef.com slash baldclass. Green Chef, the number one meal kit for eating well. This episode is sponsored by Lumi.

Hello to all you fine human specimens out there in podcast land. If you're like me, and the summer heat has you sweating like a perspiration hog birthed in the very fires of hell, listen up. I'm about to turn you on to the only deodorant you'll ever need. It's called Lume Whole Body Deodorant, and it's formulated for all the places that tend to get stinky when the humidity makes it feel like you're walking through a thick gruel of oats and barley. It

It's made for those truly putrid areas like your privates and feet. Not only does it go where other deodorants don't, but it's also outrageously effective. One application in the morning is clinically proven to block odor all day. So even if this summer feels like you're walking through the swamps of Louisiana wearing a 15-pound wig and a full latex bodysuit, you don't need to worry. Lume has you covered with up to 72 hours of odor control.

All new customers get 15% off all Lume products with our exclusive code and link. Use code BALD at LumeDeodorant.com. Now, some of you may be wondering what areas of the body are safe for use with Lume. As a person who could sweat through a t-shirt in the middle of a blizzard, I can safely say you can use Lume anywhere. So what are you waiting for? Lume's starter pack is perfect for new customers.

It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% off all Lumi products with our exclusive code. And if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals over 40% off their starter pack. Use code BALD for 15% off your first purchase at LumiDeodorant.com.

That's code bald at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. Today's episode is brought to you by Angie. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs and projects done well. Let me tell you, there's the version of it where you try to do something at home and then there's a version of it where you have someone help you, you watch them do it the right way and you go, thank God I didn't try to do that myself.

I have fully done things around the home that I think look good and then a bang in the night and I wake up to a shelf collapsing, a painting falling off the wall. Like it, I've seen it all go south. I own a home and I can tell you, I know how much work it can take. Whether it's everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is Angie that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need.

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but I'm so scared to try that on my own. Angie has 20 years of home experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app. Answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of any home project in just a few taps.

Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. I'm not the girl that you really want to go toe-to-toe with. No. I'm a Libra. I would be terrified. No. I would be terrified. I go for the plasma. Real plasma. You go for the bone marrow. The bone marrow. Yeah. Because I feel like as a Libra, I shouldn't even be in this dark place. Okay. But you put me there. Okay.

So you're going to claw your way out. Wait, we've got T.S. Madison on the pod today. Please welcome T.S. Madison. Is this the Y camera? This is the Y and this is my camera. Hi guys, this is T.S. Madison. I'm coming to you loud, loud and always.

Always and forever in color from the bold and the beautiful. I'm bald. You're beautiful. Always. What's the tea? What is the tea? My niece caught it. Yeah, my auntie. Caught ya. I will never forget. It's a core memory at this point being backstage at Jacques Cabaret. I don't know what pageant that was, but you were hosting some pageant. It was a long time ago.

- Long, I mean, God, it must've been like seven, six, seven years ago. - And that's a long time in gay years. - Oh yeah. - Honey, listen, 'cause you've been in a gay relationship one year, baby, y'all been together for five. It's dog years. - Yes, totally. - One year in anything gay is dog years. - What about you? Are you in a relationship? - No. - No? Have you ever been married? - No.

I tend to keep my relationship stuff private because you know, but I can talk about it though. I keep my relationship stuff private because I just feel like that once a person knows who you're in bed with, they want to get in bed with them. Also, if you're like, if you're obviously you're a very out there public figure and you, you're dating somebody who's not in the spotlight. That's tough. Here's the thing. I'm always want to date somebody that's not in the spotlight because it can, can I say something dark? Please. Did I need your permission?

I appreciate you asking. I'm going to always, because I just feel like at this point in my life, everybody's a text write-off. Everything is a text write-off. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. One second. Yeah. You said something that I am, I completely forgot about this, but you said in your will.

Yes. I am obsessed with this. I am obsessed with this. If a man dies while we're in a relationship, if I die while I'm in a relationship with a man, he has 48 hours to vacate the premises. It was 24. 48 is very generous. I'm being generous at 48. And I will have some men in black there to escort you out.

But 48 hours is plenty of time to go through the estate, grab your stuff, and then get the... You know why, Neese? Because I feel like that you're supposed to enjoy the time that we had together. I always feel that men are dogs and trash. But I'm not going to be with a woman because that's not my thing. I'm not a lesbian. Okay.

But I feel that men are dogs and trash and that when the season is up, they should be swept out. Yeah. I enjoy men for the things that they can do. I love them and all this stuff, but I'm no fool. Yeah.

I do believe that, you know, men will always cheat on their partner forever. Yeah. Because there's just a thing that's like not enough. And so what will not happen is you and your partner that you've been sneaking around with will be laying on my thousand dollar sheet. Thousand thread count sheets. Yeah. Fucking...

While I'm being lowered down in the ground. Right. It's not happening. Yeah. Now, you know, you probably went out and fucked on some other sheets. Probably spun a dollar or two of my money and done it.

But when I'm dead, you won't enjoy the fruits of my labor. I think that's the most cunty thing ever. I just feel that. You don't feel that? I do, 100%. You have to put this in your will, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to. I know. You got to put this. I put it in my will, and I really want it to be strongly enforced by the men in black that are also written somewhere deeply in the will that'll come and gather you up out of there.

Get your thing. Hit the door. Hit the door. My items, my stuff, the things that belong to me will go down to my bloodline. We was just fucking. I love you, but we was just fucking. Can I cuss here? Of course. We were just having mad passionate fucking. Now the fucking is over, so you got to hit the door. Throughout our relationship, I know you were fucking someone else.

Really? You don't believe that that's a... Well, so I'm kind of torn because I, you know, it was RuPaul was on, there was a clip of RuPaul, I forget what it was, where it was, but it was going around the internet about how she was talking about monogamy being kind of like a fantasy. It is. Yeah. And then I think she was like, there was some blowback by straight commenters about like, oh, well...

I think just a lot of straight folks, monogamy is still very much an option. And I'm, I don't think it's straight folks in Venice cheating. I know. I know. So wait, let me ask you though. Do you think it's totally out of the realm of possibility? Maybe I'm being Pollyanna, but I, so you're Polly. No, I don't.

I still think it's possible. Tell me you think I'm crazy. For monogamy? Yeah. Only because – so this is the idea of it anyway. In practice, the theory – and then the practice might be a whole different story. But the theory or the idea is that you make a sacrifice for somebody. It's not – it's like, of course, you admit and you realize and you have –

You're realistic about your desire to fuck other people, but you make a sacrifice and you don't do it. Here's the thing. World peace. But I am a transsexual. Okay. What? Jesus Christ. Pre-op. Damn. Titties at the top, steel dick and nuts at the bottom.

So there is no way in my mind that I could believe that, especially the men that are usually attracted to me. The men that are usually attracted to me are men that go by, they self-identify as heterosexual men. Sure, sure. And so I don't have a vagina.

Even if I got an SRS, it would be an SRS. So I don't have a vagina. And this is no shade to anyone who's had an SRS, sexual reassignment surgery, because I'm not saying that it's not a vagina. But if I had one, it would not be a vagina in my eyes for me. Okay. And so...

I'm not going to get one. I still want to have everything that God gave me, plus the additives that he gave the doctor, the know-how to put on me. Sure, sure. Majority of the men that are like me are self-identified as heterosexual. So if I don't have a vagina, I don't know what it's like to be a—because I'm a heterosexual, transsexual. I like men. Yep.

I don't know what it's like to lust after a vagina. I don't know what it's like to have had vagina. I'm not, I'm a golden gay. Okay. So I've not been in that realm. Okay. So to tell a man that comes from that area of his life and starts dealing in this space that he can no longer have

Okay. Is, would be asinine of me to think that he wouldn't even have those thoughts of like, or wouldn't have that urge to have vagina. Like I, that would be asinine of me to even think like that. Okay. So I would say I don't give a hall pass, but I'm not dumb. Okay. You're a realist. I'm a realist. Okay. I'm not gonna give you a hall pass. Oh yeah. Go out there and have all the vagina that you want in the world. But I'm not dumb. Do you get jealous? Um,

I think that's a human thing to be jealous of stuff. But it's also when you have a self-talk with yourself. I'm a Libra. And so I believe in equal playing field. Okay. I don't get jealous. I get even.

I am very jealous, but I don't think it's a Taurus. So the bull stubborn, stubborn. Okay. I'm a Libra. I'm a Taurus rising and I'm a Pisces moon. Oh, very emotional. Yes. Very emotional. But I also, because I believe in balance, I know how to. Okay.

Do you know what your Chinese zodiac is? Tell me. Oh, I don't know. Is it a dragon? Look it up. Is it a dragon? It is the year of the dragon. So I hope so. It's always the year of the dragon. This episode is sponsored by our friends at Green Chef.

Fall is almost here, and even though I'm quivering with anticipation to drink spiced apple cider and consume my body weight in the melange of pumpkin spice items that are available each year, there is a better and healthier way to celebrate the autumnal equinox. Don't let the back-to-school season set back your nutrition. Let Green Chef help you out. Green Chef is making it easy to stick to healthy eating habits with a new, more flexible menu featuring over 35 customizable recipe options every week.

New options include doubling your portion of protein or veggies or swapping to a plant-based protein like organic tofu or tempeh. Are you dairy-free, gluten-free, vegetarian, or vegan? Green Chef has over 15 recipes every week to support those lifestyles and more.

You'll also find over 15 weekly recipes that are ready in 25 minutes or less. So you'll have the power to tailor the menu to your needs, satisfying and nourishing both you and all your friends and family in about 30 minutes. And guess what? You can take your clean routine even further with two times the support. Green Chef is proud to debut their healthiest menu ever and access to thousands of top rated gyms and fitness studios worldwide from ClassPass.

For a limited time, new Green Chef subscribers will also receive 50 free credits to use at ClassPass, which is about a month's worth of membership. And if you're wondering about the Green Chef's classic you already love, they still got them. As usual, customers also have the option to upgrade to proteins like organic chicken, fair trade barramundi, and wild-caught sockeye salmon.

And if you haven't tried their barramundi, your barramissin' out, folks, every week features rotating options to suit a variety of lifestyles, including the science-backed Mediterranean diet. There are always plant-based meals on the menu, along with calorie-smart and keto ones, too. All told, Green Chef has over 80 weekly menu and market options to satisfy every single taste bud.

Now, as you all know, I'm a notoriously picky eater, and when I not only haven't eaten something, but I can barely pronounce its name, you know I'm a little bit nervous. I cooked the chili lime barramundi with charred corn and salsa, and my dinner guest insisted that I must have a degree from Le Cordon Bleu, or a little rodent underneath my chef's hat secretly controlling my limbs, in order to perfectly prepare the dish. That barramundi was bara-mind-blowing.

What are you waiting for? Go to greenchef.com slash baldclass for 50% off your first box plus 50 free credits with ClassPass. That's code baldclass at greenchef.com slash baldclass to get 50% off your first box plus 50 free ClassPass credits. Again, greenchef.com slash baldclass. Green Chef, the number one meal kit for eating well.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Hello, friends. It is I, Katya, the queen of self-care. When I want a massage at home by a young Eastern European gentleman who used to work as a trainer for the Moldovan Olympic team,

I don't second guess myself. I just do it. I call up Krushelka Oglovayevich and I say, Hey, Kushi, it's me, Katya. I went on a hike in Griffith Park and you know what? It's self-care day and my glutes are absolutely killing me. Get over here faster than your mama can say, Mama Leah. But if you don't have the free time that being a world famous drag queen grants me, you're likely skipping self-care days and that is...

is a no-no. Even if your job at the law firm is slowly killing you and Jensen won't shut the heck up about the damn new house account, you still need to put aside time for self-care. Heck, even if your kid needs to be driven home from theremin lessons, maybe ask your neighbor to pick up little Mortimer. He owes you after borrowing your snowplow all winter and not even giving you a thank you note. I know how busy life can be. It's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know exactly what makes us happy, it's still hard to make time for it.

But it's exactly when you feel like you have no time for yourself when non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. That's where BetterHelp comes in. I love BetterHelp. I sold my car recently because I don't like the menacing shape of steering wheels. And with BetterHelp, I don't have to drive anywhere. I can meet with my therapist from the ease and comfort of my own couch on a schedule that works best for me.

BetterHelp is designed to work with your crazy life no matter how busy you are. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge.

Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash bald today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash bald. Did you know we were going to have fun when I got here? No, I thought we were going to have a horrible time. Really? No!

Where's Katya? I mean, where's Trixie? She passed on. Yeah. So I inherited all of this. No, she's taking over. Well, it was funny. The BBC. Wait a minute. Who has one of those? Shit. I did not even think I just walked right into that one. No, it was. I believe the headline was struggling.

Struggling, in quotations, struggling drag race star takes a step back. Wait, the BBC did that? Yeah, about her. I didn't read the article. I just looked at the headline. I have to tell you that, you know, Trixie is one of the richest drag queens according to Forbes. And also, but before that,

I think that people say, people throw around their riches. Even RuPaul was on, I think Jimmy Kimmel talking about how rich she is. She's the most hardworking. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, she didn't just like drop, you know, fall into a pot of money. She worked for her money. Just like me. I'm rich too, but I work for my money. Yeah. And that's why I never spend it in clothes. Listen, I can wear, you can give me a stretch piece something because I have a stretch piece body. Okay. I have a lot of bodies.

So you have to be able to stretch around. Yeah, yes. So there's no super designer that's going to be like. All that, like the fabric that's like the crepe fabric. It's so delicate. No, no, no. Stage wear. Stage wear. I have a stage wear body.

love it so you know i'm not going to be spending all my money on and then my feet are a size i have a size 11 foot that sometimes i need to wear 12. oh wow okay yeah because these are country yeah these are country you know but they're affordable yeah yeah i put all my money are you a saver i save lots of money yes i'm a saver and i am i also invest in stuff you know what i don't believe that's uh like i don't believe in labels like i'm not a label

Yeah, it just gets you into trouble. Like my daughter over there. My daughter, she's they, them. I was going to wear so many. It's going to be, don't stretch out my Louis Vuitton. You know, don't put all that stuff in my Louis Vuitton bag. I'm like, girl, really? I mean, I had a brief flirtation. Well, not, I mean, I had a flirtation with...

Because when you don't have any money and then you get some money, you kind of make some mistakes. You make some mistakes. Sometimes you do. I did. Here's my mistake that I did when I got money. What is it? My mistake was, you see, I used to be a very small girl. Okay. I just started eating very rich, rich foods. Rich in butter. Rich in sauces. Okay.

you know, things that I couldn't pronounce. I was like, let me taste that. Okay. Okay. So, but I don't put lots of money into, uh,

things that i feel like the value depreciates you know now i will buy a car i do drive a $200,000 car holy shit i do that and i do live in a 1.2 million dollar house okay but i also own another house that's half a million dollars so i buy like property and like things that i can like if shit gets hard yeah sell all that shit right right what kind of car do you drive

I drive a 2023 BMW XM I bought it when they first hit the market when 2023 came in they hadn't even released it is that the SUV? I got it $200,000 with taxes

They delivered it from another place. There's a video on Instagram of them driving it off. You love it? I love it. You love it. You love driving it? There's only 8,000 miles on it now. Oh, shit. And it's about to be 2025. So you don't drive her at all? No. Do you get driven around? I do. Yeah. I will say the majority of my money goes into my... Come on, man. I said say it right so these people don't think that you're arrogant or elitist. It goes into my comfort. Okay. Okay.

I'm going to be comfortable. I agree. I'm going to be comfortable at all times. I know. I feel the same way. I'm not going past row six on the plane.

If this is going to sound bougie And listeners please excuse us for a moment I don't give a fuck if they excuse me or not I don't go past row 6 on a plane I know So at this point in my life I mean I'm 42 I'm a little older You travel the world You kind of get old and rickety I'll speak for myself You can speak for me too I'd rather stay home

then get into economy. - Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? - And I'm not leaving my house unless whoever booked me, it's already paid in full. - Right, right. - Yeah. - It has to be paid in full. - I think RuPaul even was like, she pioneered this sort of like, this standard of like, I'll get, I get half before I go on stage and the other half before I step on the stage.

Yeah. You know what I mean? So that's pretty good. So it's paid in full. Yeah, paid in full. Paid in full. I've been places where I've been in full beat and been looking like, where's the rest of it? Right. And I tell my team, rest, take your shoes off. And I call my assistant like, I don't see the deposit yet. Yeah, we're not going anywhere. We're laying down. Because I'm going to crawl under these covers. And here's the thing. I always keep a credit card that I could just...

a rollover and be like, I need three first class tickets or two or one first class ticket to, to comfort plus. Very generous of you. I love my team, but only my husband that's with me is going to enjoy the luxury because that's the extension of me. We're going to do that. Now my team, I give them enough points flying around. They can upgrade. Sure. Sure. Yeah.

Get your Delta MX and rack that shit up. Bitch.

You've met shit. Have you been burned badly by a promoter or something gig? Which taught me. It taught me how to not do this. It taught me. I remember some gigs when I first started. When I first became the, is it on? Is it on? Is this picture recorded? When that stuff first started happening, I remember I was doing gigs back in the day for $1,500. Sometimes people think like,

That's good money. But it was good money then. It was cute. Like, especially when you go from a social media to like bookings, you know, and they're like, Oh, would you come do something for 500 bucks? I'm like, Oh, okay. I could do that. Then I think about how I used to be a hooker and was like, well, I mean, I laid down and I took wood for less than that.

Seriously, girl. I know. I scraped my knees up for listing that. Yeah, $250. Yeah, $250. Yeah, like, girl, I'll come do it. But then, like, after a while, when things grow and grow, and then you start seeing that they write your name on something, and then the crowd gets bigger because your name is there. Like, that means they've got a bigger ticket. Right. You know, and it's just like, you know, now people say, oh, she's extremely too expensive. I will say this, and this is going to sound very nasty. Okay. If Beyonce...

Giselle Knowles-Carter paid me money for my presence on her album, everybody has it. Because that's something that I would have gave Beyonce for free. Now, how the fuck did that happen? I don't know. And what the fuck was that like? Did you gag? I gagged. I'm still gagging. It's fucking amazing. I'm going to tell you why I'm still gagging. I'm still gagging because I'm still receiving residuals from that. And I will receive residuals from that for even after I'm dead.

And so that means that no man that's cheating on me, the bitch, she has to get the fuck out of my house. He has to get out. Because he's not getting any cozy money. None of that. No cozy dollars. None of those. Don't get cozy. Sweetheart, I don't know who you are. Let me look at this. Sweetheart, I don't know who you are. And if you have the opportunity to ride any man of mine, Scott, enjoy it while I'm living. Because the moment that I'm gone, if he hadn't pawned any of that jewelry that I bought, you're both broke, bitch.

This episode is sponsored by Lumi.

Hello to all you fine human specimens out there in podcast land. If you're like me and the summer heat has you sweating like a perspiration hog birthed in the very fires of hell, listen up. I'm about to turn you on to the only deodorant you'll ever need. It's called Lume Whole Body Deodorant and it's formulated for all the places that tend to get stinky when the humidity makes it feel like you're walking through a thick gruel of oats and barley. It's made for those truly putrid areas like your privates and feet. No

Not only does it go where other deodorants don't, but it's also outrageously effective. One application in the morning is clinically proven to block odor all day. So even if this summer feels like you're walking through the swamps of Louisiana wearing a 15 pound wig and a full latex bodysuit, you don't need to worry. Lume has you covered with up to 72 hours of odor control.

All new customers get 15% off all Lume products with our exclusive code and link. Use code BALD at LumeDeodorant.com. Now, some of you may be wondering what areas of the body are safe for use with Lume. As a person who could sweat through a t-shirt in the middle of a blizzard, I can safely say you can use Lume anywhere. I've used it on my armpits, under boobs, inner thighs, outer thighs, upper thighs, lower thighs, middle thighs, belly button, butt, crack, butt crack, feet, and...

my always sweaty vulva. I wore Lume at a gig this summer and instead of walking into the dressing room smelling like a wet dog who just humped a bag of warm broccoli, I was fresh as a daisy. Unlike certain traditional deodorants that try to mask order with a fragrance, Lume is formulated and powered by mandelic acid to stop odor before it starts. More like a pre-odorant. It's baking soda free, paraben free, and pH balanced for safe use below the belt. My

My favorite scent is clean tangerine, but they also have other fresh scents like lavender sage and toasted coconut. So what are you waiting for? Lumi's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping.

As a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% off all Lume products with our exclusive code. And if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals over 40% off their starter pack. Use code BALD for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com. That's code BALD at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc.

There are some things in life that are okay to be a total crapshoot, like trying a new type of cuisine on a first date, going out to a hippie cult upstate with your friend Denise to pick fresh produce, or trying a new workout class that involves large rubber bands.

While crapshoots like these can lead to excessive flatulence, blood rituals, and large painful welts on your buttocks, finding the right doctor shouldn't be a total crapshoot. ZocDoc is the place where you can find and book doctors who specialize in the exact field you need. You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, who are located nearby, who are a good fit for any medical need you may have, and who are highly rated by verified patients. You can also see their actual appointment openings, choose a time that works for you, and click to instantly book a visit.

Plus, ZocTalk appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments, which is more than I can say for Jeshue, that cult leader from upstate. Hello.

The best part? ZocDoc is free. You can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. With ZocDoc, you've got more options than you know. I love ZocDoc because while Jeshua claims to be an MD, I don't want the burn I received from cooking last night to be treated with acorn paste and goat saliva.

Nope. I want to see the best local doctor I can, and ZocDoc helps me find that doctor and book them. If I can find a great doctor, so can you. And all because of ZocDoc. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash bald to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash bald. ZocDoc.com slash bald.

Today's episode is brought to you by Angie. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs and projects done well. Let me tell you, there's the version of it where you try to do something at home and then there's a version of it where you have someone help you, you watch them do it the right way and you go, thank God I didn't try to do that myself.

I have fully done things around the home that I think look good and then a bang in the night and I wake up to a shelf collapsing, a painting falling off the wall. Like it, I've seen it all go south. I own a home and I can tell you, I know how much work it can take. Whether it's everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is Angie that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need.

Whatever your home project, big or small, indoor or outdoor, you can Angie that and connect with skilled professionals to get the project done well. Right now, one of my wishlists is I want a bike for my condo in Milwaukee and I would love to rig it up on a pulley in the ceiling because I have one of those like lofted ceilings.

but I'm so scared to try that on my own. Angie has 20 years of home experience and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app. Answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which means you can take care of any home project in just a few taps.

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Hi divas, as you know, Trixie is on break. So I'm solo here on the podcast to tell you that we are bringing you more bald and the beautiful live shows this fall. That's right. We're going to be in Baltimore, Providence, Columbus, and a whole bunch of other East coast cities that I don't have on the script in front of me, but all tickets and info will be at Trixie and Katya live.com. So get your panties in check for the best damn podcast you've ever seen.

People don't understand. I'm an avid businesswoman. I'm not the most perfect. I'm still learning things because I've surrounded myself. If you're the smartest person in the room, you got to get out of that room. Yeah. You got to. Yeah, nothing to learn. So I've surrounded myself with people who are more smarter than me when it comes to business, who are more business savvy, who have pointed me in different directions, like how to grow my money. So-

When I do TV projects, my lawyers are amazing. Really? Amazing. Sharks. What is she going to get on the back end from there? What is she going to da-da-da-da? They're crossing all the T's and don'ts. Yeah, all that. I don't even. And they're women. There's no better person to manage your money or manage your career than a woman. Love it. And for me, a black woman because she knows how it is to take $5 and make $50 million out of it.

And so like all of my team is black women. Like my lawyers are black women. Like my managers are black women. Like I work for them actually. Wow. If you really want me to be technical, I work for them because they're in there like they're beasts when it comes down to deals and stuff like that. So I've been pretty blessed to have them in my life to make sure that, you know, like the financial decisions I make with things like as far as

TV stuff or whatever. Not Drag Race. Because there was this predated Drag Race. So I love Drag Race. I'm going to always do Drag Race. I mean, I felt for the longest time that if... I love you as a guest host. But whenever there's talk of which queen would replace RuPaul, if that ever came to that, I was like, I think you should.

I mean, not that that's for discussion, but that's how much I love you on that panel. I didn't say that. No, no. But that's how good you are on the panel. I don't need mother to be able to like. No, no, no, no, no. Is it conspiracy? Yeah.

But you're so good though. Do you, is it fun? I love it. And I love everything that I do for drivers. Just like when I'm hosting drag con and bring back my girls and all that stuff. Like, like when I'm able to do that, like that is my natural element. You know, I wish I was, I wish you were on the panel when I was on the show. I wish I was too. Are you going to do something like a global? No, I couldn't. I don't have the Mary. I don't have the budget. I don't have the, I don't even know who to call.

Trixie and I talk about this all the time. My best drag would get me eliminated from a mini challenge. But this is the thing though. I'm telling you. They come out there like Brazilian carnival floats. You gotta know what this is the thing. It's...

the competition is an amazing thing but i feel like that when when all the rude girls get the opportunity to become a rule girl that's they're set for life and doing if they know how to fordangle it yeah if they know how to jiggle it yeah they'll be financially stable for the rest of their lives and i think that each time each moment each opportunity they get to be a part of the franchise a part of the show

That they should, you know, make that work for them. Yeah. Like, just like right now, I can't wait for the people to see the global all-stars. I can't wait either. It's very, it's very cunty. Who is on that season? Is it, is it? Well, by the time I got there, there was some people that were already gone. Oh, shit. So there's eliminations. I don't want to say. Oh, shit.

Then they'll know by the time I got there who was gone. Oh, okay. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. But let's just say that they battled. Okay, because I think that the thing that's missing from the season of All-Stars that's currently airing is the eliminations. It kind of takes away some of the... I mean, there's no stakes, essentially. You mean like for the Beneficious badges? Yeah, I mean, it's like, okay, the badges, okay, the charities, but like, you know, if it...

You have to switch the pitch up every so often. Yeah, that's true. You gotta switch it up, you know? Yeah, that's true. And being that they've switched it up, you know, I walk around the airport sometimes and people stop me and they say, T.S., I'm so glad that you're on the show. I'm so happy you're there. Yeah.

But let me tell you how I feel. And I always absorb it. And then I go back and I talk to them like when I get to the set. Sometimes I talk to them and say, well, the people in the airport say they don't like this. They don't like that. And they're like, well, girl, we'll do it. It would benefit us. It was what? What did a choice? It was a choice. Who said that? Tatiana. Tatiana. Choices. It's this choices. And, you know, they'll say those were choices. Yeah. So, OK. Yeah. But I think that.

The most important thing that when the people stop me in the airport and they say to me is this is ours. Okay. This is the only thing that we have that's ours. And I remember the last time, remember we were there, Jameson? The last time we were in the airport, what city was that we were in? And we were coming from this little small city. It was a little small place. Anyway. I don't remember.

they said the guy stopped me he said thank you for being a part of something that's ours like y'all belong to us this is our and so i started calculating in my head like how many gay lbgtqia tv shows do we have yeah not a lot when there's i always think about that too it's like when people talk about oh we're oversaturated with drag race content it's like there are four separate golf channels

on the TV. Yeah. There's four separate, you get, you have that straight folks and everybody else has so many options. And then the sports that I get tortured with. Yeah. There's like, you want, you want football, you want basketball. You got 17 different channels and 4,000 different commentators offering all these perspectives. Like it's, you know, it's crazy.

So let us have this. This is ours. You know what I'm saying? Like, this is something that's for the QIA and the LB and the GT and all the shit in between. So this is ours. And this is like, when I looked around, I said, there's nothing really like, ain't nothing. It's interesting. I mean, it's wild. I mean, it's like, imagine 30 years ago. Right. When I was 17.

There was no fag stuff on TV. I know. And I mean, P-H-A-G. You're so memeable. It's so outrageous. Can you imagine the memes that are going to come out of this? His lips in my head. Rent free. It's so good. So good. Selene Puerto Rican. She messy.

- It just like, it just flows. It's your volcano of memes. - Of memes. I sit back at times and I look at myself on the internet and I'm like, bitch, I didn't even mean for that to happen. - That's how it works though. That's how it works. 'Cause I've found like that kind of, it's like lightning in a bottle.

everybody's trying to do everybody's out there trying doing the most it's all forced it's not natural I don't even try because I don't really care about going viral right like and when I hear people talk about oh a master is jealous of this person coming in a bit I'm like girl I don't give a fuck about those people sweetheart those people have to cross mountains and boundaries and shit that I don't already girl I did that already I don't give a fuck about that look me up

I don't give a damn about that shit. And so it's just like, I don't try. And I'm a reader. Like I'm vicious when it comes down. Like I was talking about it at the top of the show. Like I'm very vicious when it comes to reading. And majority of the things that you guys have found memeable have been come, have come from me from reads. I would be so terrified. I would never even think I would never, you know, you've always been my niece and I've loved you.

I've loved you, honey, from the start. Like, I've loved you so much. And I, you know, just things have been, I'm so proud to see where you all have gone. Like, I remember being on the outside looking in as a fan of the show and just been like, oh my God, I love these girls. I love it. I just, I love it. And to see you girls going to be

world-renowned stars honey making making shit loads of money i'd be like damn i wish i could have been a contestant sometime right i came up and left you know but i'm glad to be a judge because i get the opportunity to see you guys you're so good on the panel it's so good so you think that if mother decided to pass the torch at it oh it would have to go to michelle um no i think it would go to you

I think it would go to you. The whole, like the torch would go to you because I don't think it would, it doesn't make sense for another root girl to do it, but I would see you. I could see you have the humor, the heart, the perspective and the, um,

the like the you have the like the sincere i have the charisma the uniqueness and the talent yes i have the cunt to do it you can be funny but you can also be you can also be like tender and it's not corny yeah you know it's real and i also you know i could take direction very well because sometimes they're in my ear and what i'm doing bring back my girl's panel that drag and they're talking to me and i'm like yes yes yes yes

- And the mini challenge. - Oh my God, okay. If you had to do a snatch game as a contestant, who would you do? - Ooh, who am I good at, Jamison? I'm so good at movies. - Crickets, crickets, crickets.

I'm so good at movies and television shows and stuff. Like I could just, I could make something funny out of anyone. It wouldn't even matter who it was. It wouldn't even matter who it was. It would just come to me like, okay, I'm going to do this person. I would go for like, how much do I look like this person to help embody it? I could do a man. I could do a woman. I could do a transsexual. Yeah.

I can do someone that's English. I could do someone that's Espanol. You know, it's just, I wouldn't know. And so when I watch the girl, what I like is when a girl does a challenge and nobody knows who the person she's doing. Yeah. And they make me go look them up because they've done it so well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Who is that? Yeah. Yeah.

I think I'm going to be intertwined into the drag race world forever. Yeah, I hope so. I do too. I was at DragCon yesterday and I watched, I said, this is the system, period. This system. And it's a system that makes money. Yes. Yes.

And not just makes money. It makes money. It's hard. And it's our shit. It's lovely. It's our shit. We can go there and be free. And just be free. Imagine being in this world, the way that we are in it now, and with what they're trying to do with this Project 25 shit that's on the horizon. Oh, my God.

Imagine being in a world where they strip all the things and it's just like, well, we're going to be white, Christian, conservative, liberal, whatever all that shit means. We're just going to be that and we want to eradicate everything that's funny because our God is an awesome God. He reigns from heaven on earth. I'm like, which God is that? Yeah, which hateful, rotten God is that? Because our God is the God that created everything.

The light and the dark. Yeah. Like merciful, compassionate, love. Love. Sex. Crazy. Oh, let's go back to Cozy. Let's go back. Okay, Cozy. So what was that moment like? How did it shake down in real life? That moment was crazy for me because Beyonce is like God. Well, duh. That's just what it is. And I always kept saying I would see Frida get an opportunity to do work with Beyonce. And I was just like, oh.

And I remember sitting on the drag race panel and I leaned over to Rue and I said, mama, do you know Beyonce just cleared out all her pictures and stuff? She said, yeah, girl, I think they're getting ready to do a Destiny's Child reunion. I was like, ooh, I would love for them to be Destiny's. And I said, you know what I would love? I would really love if she used my voice at least once. You're joking. I promise I told mama that. Honey. You're kidding. It was crazy. You're kidding. I was sitting on the drag race panel. Oh.

And I said, girl, like, during for commercial break, you know how to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was like, girl, bitch. That's manifesting. It was crazy. That's bizarre. Crazy. And how did they get in touch with you? They emailed me. Okay. But mind you, they had emailed me a year before. Really? One year. I didn't know it was them. Oh, shit. Went to spam. No.

I let them use it to sample the stuff. I let them sample my voice. That was a year I didn't know. Beyonce is so secretive. I know. It's wild. I mean, I get it. She has to be because she's on a Michael Jackson level to me. I think people be like, they don't want to say that about her. I mean, I think she's beyond that. Yeah. Wait a minute.

She's on a Michael Jackson level. I don't think that there's a surpassing of Michael Jackson yet. But I think, honestly, if she does what I think that she's going to do with what I know, it's going to be like stratosphere crazy. What do you think it is? I don't know. I can't. I'm not at liberty to say. It's just thoughts. Maybe I manifest that. What's your favorite movie?

Mommy Dearest. Oh my God. I just watched the Faye Dunaway documentary. Wasn't that great? But it was, yeah, insane. That's one of my favorite movies. So if a man finds out and he wants to know what my password is, it might be Mommy Dearest. God, did I say that out loud? Whatever. But Mommy Dearest is one of my favorites. It's one of my favorite movies because it was the drama. It was the, Tina! Bring me the axe! With me, fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo.

There's your snatch game. That's why when I was there and they did Joan the Rusical, I was going bananas. Oh yeah. Did you see the Joan Rusical? It was so good. It was amazing. I saw it. It's okay if you didn't see it. It was sickening. And I thought nothing was going to top Joan the Rusical until this last one. Holy guacamole! I was like, oh shit.

That was my favorite movie. It was just all the drama. It was all the things. But there's a list of favorite movies that I have. So if you think that you found my password, man, you haven't. Okay. Give me a couple others. What's Love Got To Do With It. Oh, yeah. What's Love Got To Do With It. Star Wars. Which one? Like the original? I like The Empire Strikes Back. Okay. But my favorite one now is the prequel, which is The Revenge of the Sith. Okay. Okay.

There are many ways to the dog's side that some might deem unnatural. Amazing. You need to get into that gig. I'm into that. Baby, I'm in that gig. Yeah. I'm into that. Star Wars needs to come knocking. Yes. I was Emperor Palpatine for Halloween. No way. Good. Good. I love that. Have you seen Dune? Yeah. Oh, yes. It's the Emperor.

The Palpatine. Oh my God. Wait, is that? Yeah. Oh my God. And there's Darth Vader. Oh my God. Incredible. Yeah. That's amazing. We're going to do something huge. That is amazing. We're going to do something huge for Halloween this year. Really? What is it? I don't know yet. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do. Have you seen Dune? We love Dune. That's our thing. Love Dune. Dune is like, you know. Love Dune. And how could this be? But he is the quiz. That's how to rock.

I'm so I was so Be silent Yeah Look look You see this? The voice In that country Yes They need to do it Like a version Yeah yeah They need to do a version of The show The Voice Which is Ben and Jezera Yes Silence Be silent Abomination Abomination

I'm obsessed I am I saw the June part 2 like 6 times like listen we can go back to the room and watch that like it's nothing so fierce and we went to the movies to see it yeah I think the black and white scene was so the cinematography oh so good was great like we were sitting there and I was like this is so deep

I know. And they surely did not really kind of tease just how jacked up Austin Butler got for that role. Yeah. During the trailers for that movie. And I was like, holy shit, he was so hot in that role. There was a lot of hot things. A lot of hot things going on over there. A lot of hot things going on. That's why there was so many worms coming from the sand. Yeah.

But don't you think me and Trixie should have, our bald asses should have been in the Harkonnen world? I do. I do. And definitely in the black and white. Yeah. When it was that. Like, what the fuck? Okay. We could have just been one of the hoes. Like, there was, they had the little, like, the little hookers just standing around looking all scared. I would have liked to see y'all come out as those demon things. Oh, yeah. With the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was so, like, we were in a movie theater and I leaned over to him. I said, this is very demonic. And I'm with it.

I am so wet for Austin Buller in that movie. Listen. So sexy. So sexy. I think that I'm not... Now, they may not take too long with three. They are going to. They're going to. What is the reason? Well, I've already shot it. No. No. No, no. You don't think so? No, I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. Well, I read the book and the book sucks. It does? Yeah. Like, I read all the books and I...

The books are kind of like, they go all over the place. It's really interesting. I mean, the second one gets into how much of a, it's like, it completely tears apart the whole Messiah thing. It's like, it's. Well, because he, he's really dark. Yeah. He like caused like billions of people to die. Yeah. Yeah. So I, let's see. I do like the 80, the 81, the 80, the original. Yeah. Um, when Aaliyah comes in and she goes, boop. And she, um, what are you talking about? Remember at the end, for a disease. Yeah. Yeah. And how could this,

The Kwisatz Haderach. And it says, boom. Yeah, she has the little Gom Jabbar in her finger and she goes. And then she killed the bear. Yeah, yeah. And then it opened. And she slides out of frame like the electric slide. It's really cunty. She goes, whoop. And their eyes are blue and they're all looking. Yeah.

Yeah. I loved it too. It's a great version. If you watch it without the sound, it's great because the acting is a little. See, listen, I also like Flash Gordon. That's what I heard is great. You haven't watched it? I haven't watched it. The costumes are incredible, right? You haven't watched Flash? You are a drag queen. I know. You must watch Flash. Okay, I'm going to watch it tonight. Not the boar worms. The boar worms.

What are the boar worms? The worms and stuff. Not the boar worms. It's just everything is so sexual and so Flash. So what's the premise of Flash Gordon? He's fast? He was a football player that got teleported to some outside world, I think it was. Really? Yeah. And then it was Ming the Merciless Ming.

Okay. You know, it was, you gotta watch it. I'm gonna watch it. And you could see the really low, low budget. So you could like really see the machines moving and they're like, Flash! Gordon! The vendor of the universe! I like shit like that. It's amazing. Like I was born during that time. So me watching it, it looked real to me at that time. Okay. Now it's like, girl...

They really had like a smoke machine going over here, girl. And like they're moving in these motions. Like, you know, this is really cheap. Oh, wow. But it's a cult classic, you know? Yeah, I gotta watch that. It's not the boar worms. It's not the boar worms. Did they say it all sensual like that? It's not the boar worms. God!

Not the boar worm. That's the Patreon content. That's what I want. You know, I really want to seduce a man like that. Not the boar worm. No, not the boar worm. The boar worm. You are crazy. My God. Wait, have you seen Hercules from 1958 with Reg Park? Was...

Okay, not the one with... Can you look up Reg Park Hercules? Tell me. Oh, when he was out there fighting King Midas? I think so. He's the most attractive man I think that has ever lived on planet Earth. Show me. R-E-G-P-A-R-K Hercules. Didn't he play Hercules to Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Yeah, so this guy was Arnold Schwarzenegger's, like, dream. Yes, I've watched that. So... Yeah, he is fine. Ooh. Not the boar... See? Look at that. Not the boar worm. Not the boar worm. I'm gonna go look up these boar worms later.

you can find it the flash was not the it was ming's daughter princess uh princess something i do it on with me and rue fall out like before the girls come out i said well you know what's on my spirit she said what not the bull rooms and we just start falling out laughing

Not the board. Is she having fun up there? Yes. Okay, good. She has fun because I definitely come there and we like, it's a cackle. Okay, good. I'm going to always cackle with her about stuff what's going on and like the foolishness jokes that I tell. So I know when you guys are watching and you might not see me, they might not put a lot of the critiques that I've said. I probably said something very dirty.

Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So they cut you out a lot. Yeah. For inappropriate. Probably inappropriate. Like. It ruins everything. All it out. So maybe. Give me a taste. Like just for example. Not the word.

Have you ever torn into a contestant? I won't do that. I let the other guest judges do that. Because when the girls come there, the girls come there because I'm the auntie. So when they come there, they're excited to see me. And it's like, I'm the auntie. But I'm going to tell them what I don't like. Lovingly. But I might tell them, now girl,

This show's been going on for 15, 16 seasons. Right. You haven't found a sewing machine yet? Right. Right. I love you, but you haven't, you haven't took on a singer. Isn't that wild? Isn't that wild?

You auditioned tape 52 times. Yeah. And you didn't take a single sewing class. You didn't lay a pattern down on the floor. Right. And cut something out. Yeah. Don't ask me if I didn't because I'm going to tell you no, but I'm not competing to be on this show. Right. You're here competing to be on this show and you know that there's a sewing challenge coming. Yeah. And they're just whatever. You're in all stars and you haven't learned how to sew yet? They did a sewing challenge on this show.

You're an all-star and you haven't learned how to sew yet. And you think that you're going to come in and there's a girl like Roxy in there. I know. She can whip up 10 outfits in 10 minutes. Girl, and you think that you're going to... Oh, okay. Not the boob words. Look it up. Look it up. Look it up. Okay.

Your delivery is a little more sensual. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Because when the boar worms get on me, it's going to go in me. And then your breasts are going to come out. They need to do Flash Gordon, the remix, and get you in there. Not the boar worms. Not the boar worms. I start slow. Oh, shit. Until they start putting them on. Oh, not the boar worms. Oh, shit.

Shit myself. The triple X parody. Yeah. Flash Gordon, the triple XXX parody, honey. Yeah. Not the boor word. Not the boor word. I'm not acting. I'm not acting.

Remember she gave that in Bobby Dearest? Oh, yeah. I'm not acting. Volume up to 12. Crank it all the way up. She had that cigarette in her hand and the guy was getting ready to leave her. He said, please don't leave. You know, if you walk out that door, you'll never be able to come back in it again. He says, I'll never speak ill of you and I will always hold your name in high regards. Goodbye.

There it is. There it is. It was just all of that stuff. Crazy. It was just so much. And Faye Dunaway was like really, she made me feel that she was Joan Crawford, especially the stories I've heard about Joan Crawford. She made me feel that. But those stories were about her too. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like everybody's like, she got a lot of shit for being absolutely difficult. It was interesting watching the Faye Dunaway documentary because she addresses all of that, but she kind of blames it on being bipolar, which is interesting. Oh, that's what it is?

- It is. - Well, I mean, that's what she would, I mean, not to, it just seemed a little too convenient. You know what I mean? It's like, I know many people who are bipolar and they're not assholes. - Well, Jennifer Lewis is, who was my good girl, she's bipolar too. - I don't think there's, I don't think she has a reputation for being horrible on set. I think she has a reputation for being wonderful. - She does, but Jennifer Lewis, I had the opportunity to spend the whole day with her. Like Shangela took me over there and like, she was one of my faves. I remember one day I called, she called me on the phone

It was Jackie Washington Day And she called me on the phone And she said Or Shangela called me And I was like Girl it's July 15th It's Jackie Washington Day So we gotta get our Motherfucking ass down To kill her She said Stay your motherfucking ass Out of Kinlock I was like So I'm screaming And then fast forward to Which I manifested I had I was on a talk show Jason Lee's podcast And I said That I wanted to be I wanted

Jennifer Lewis would be my first guest. And so she called me. She said, I don't know what show I was watching. You was on there and you said that you wanted me to be your... She said, I'm going to give you that interview when it's time to do it. I'm going to do that. You know? Yes. Which the show came and then her book came out and then she didn't have time. But they invited me to her house when she got her star on the Walk of Fame. Oh, no way. And so when I went over there, like, they were drinking infused lemonade. Okay, it was infused with... Marijuana. Okay. Marijuana. Marijuana.

And so I drank so much of it. I was over there like, not the boy then. Girl. And I think we laugh. I mean, we laugh and talk shit like all day. Not some other day. All day. All day. She told me so many Aretha Franklin stories. No way. One Aretha Franklin story she told us was when Aretha, they were on an Aretha somewhere and it was like a buffet style thing and Aretha came in and she said Aretha Powell had played up about God and Jesus.

And she said, and she told Aretha, eat, Queen. She said, you see it. Said Aretha looked over her shoulder like nobody, everybody waited until Aretha fixed her plate. And said Aretha Franklin looked over her shoulder and said, you see it. And she said, that bitch devoured that plate. Wow. I love it. I love it. It's just like, could you imagine being a part of an industry where you get the opportunity to meet? She's worked with every legend. Every single legend. I know. From Tupac to Aretha Franklin to...

Like so many like people that have gone to the great beyond now that she's worked with. Yeah. She has Whitney Houston, the mother of black. Yes. The mother of black Hollywood. Yeah. Her book is fabulous. Yeah. Yeah. I was I'm obsessed with her. My first I first saw Jennifer Lewis on in a movie on Netflix.

in Spike Lee's Girl 6, which is about phone sex. Yeah. And it's hard to find. Now, I don't even think you can find it streaming anywhere. It's like impossible to find. You got to watch on DVD or something. You have to watch Jennifer Lewis's movie, the spoof of her life. It was called Jackie's Back. Oh, really? Oh my God.

It's good. It's a cult classic. Okay, I've never even heard of it. It's called Jack... Listen, it's called Jackie's Back. I don't know where she been. I don't know where she's at. All I know is Jackie's Back. It's a spoof of her. She has Penny Marshall in it. She has Diane Carroll. She has Howie Mandel. She has everybody in this movie talking about Jackie's Back. And everybody's like, who the hell is Jackie? Jackie!

Liza Minnelli's in the movie. Get out of here. It's just like, you know, it's just like, who the hell is Jackie Washington? She has a song called Love. And I think she's spoofing Jennifer Holliday. Okay. She is so messy. Oh my God. She's so funny. I'm telling you, it's on Tubi. I gotta watch it. It's called Jackie's Back. I think it's on Tubi. You are going to die. Bust. I can't wait. Bust. Bust.

It is one of those things that you just be like, girl, why did God do this? Robert Townsend made that movie. Like back then, like, like all the people that have spoofed movies, like, like, like the, the Wayans brothers, the scary movie and all this stuff. Like Robert Townsend was doing spoofs way before the, the Wayans brothers. And Robert Townsend did Jackie's back. Jackie. And it was a story about, uh,

Jennifer Lewis' life because she's from Kinloch, Missouri. That's what she said. I'm still huge in Kinloch.

There's so much trash that happens in that movie. I could watch it. It is so funny. I'm telling you, when I leave her today, I want you to lay across your bed. Flash Gordon. Flash Gordon. And Jackie's back. Jackie's back. Go to Tubi. Okay. It's on Tubi. Jackie's back. Okay. And every July 5th, July, we say, okay, I'm black. Okay. If y'all didn't know. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Yeah. Every July. But we say every July 15th.

It's Jackie Washington Day. Okay. And somebody dies on July. Okay. Oh, my last favorite movie, I tell you, of all time is Little Shop of Horrors. Oh, yeah. It's great. I think that I should...

be Audrey 2 once in my life. You absolutely. Actually, now that you say that, I can't believe you haven't. I need to be Audrey 2 at least one time somewhere in my life. Absolutely. Because my mouth is very filthy. People will, they will die. They will drop dead in the seats laughing so hard. In the seats if they hear me out there saying, you know, the filthiest shit that comes out of my mouth and I'm just reading. If I can move and I can talk to that man, am I an inominate object to you? You know. Oh, wait a minute. Can't say that. Oh,

Motherfucker. You got to do it. I want to. You got to do it. I want to. That's one of my ultimate dreams. I've written that somewhere on my vision board. Even if I have to bring an adaptation of it to life sometime, I have to do it before. Oh, flowers. Look at that. It's an omen. Yes. These are your little shop flowers. Yes. So it is written, it shall be done. Yes. Yeah. As above, so below. And not the poor world. Not the poor world.

That is never going to leave my head. Okay. Any final thoughts as we wrap up? Final thoughts. First of all,

thank you so much for being here oh girl i knew i was gonna laugh i was gonna laugh you know who should be we should have t.s masson on here oh yeah girl i watched it and i was like i'm on the way i said reach out to them immediately i said those both are my nieces i remember tricksy was saying you know that i ran her down at a fundraiser oh my favorite story shook them all dry you literally took but you just shook them you put yes honey y'all got more

Turned them upside down and just shook their pockets out. We raised an additional, was it 200 and some odd thousand? It was an additional $225,000. Love it. You know, for the LBGTQ Center. Yeah. And in LA. Yeah. I just, I just feel like that was a good cause. Like everybody, we all here sitting on money. Nobody's going to take care of us, but us. Yeah. We look out to other communities.

to take care of the gays and the trans. Yeah. Well, we need to be really looking within. Yeah. There are so many of us that have the ability to financially come in and just wipe some shit out. Yeah. Here's a million bucks. Yeah. Here's $500,000. Yeah. And they do such great work, the LGBT side. Yeah. Here's $10,000. That's my budget area. Here's $10,000.

Well, I'll say here's my house. Cause that's just what I just did. I gave, I gave one of my, well, my older property, I gave it to, um, it's just called the T.S. Madison starter house. I gave it over to, uh, uh,

a program to where they could, it's NASEM. I gave it to NASEM so that they can, we can get housing for girls. Like, you know, and, and I want to, as I move further and become larger in my career, I want to obtain property so that I can do that for the community. Cause I remember being a homeless transsexual and I was the prostitute. Yes. You're kidding. I was taking the board. That's why I'm so adamant. Not the board. Please.

No. I'm going to shit myself. Fuck. Oh, my God. That's incredible. So, I mean, it also... It is a tough thing because, like, if you...

When you dip down into homelessness, it is almost impossible to get out of it because it's like you have no residence. You have no, no, no residence, no resources. Nobody even cares about you. And also like, yeah, you go, how do you get to a job interview? How do you get dressed? How do you get, you know what I mean? It's like, no one cares about you. Like no one. When I'm here in LA working and stuff like that, film and stuff. And I see the homeless people here. I'm like,

shit. It's wild. It's wild in a city with so many billionaires. Right. I'm like, I see so many homeless people and to see the immaculate homes that are here and the homes that are out in the hill and then those Calabasas witches that are out there conjuring up all of those spells over those cocks, those four worms. And it's like,

It's fucking crazy. It's like it's the Armageddon. It feels like the end time. And they're all laying out. And it's just like, wow, how could this be one of the most wealthiest places ever?

Yeah. In the United States. Yeah. And all of these homeless people are here. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. It's so sad. So do you live here? I do. Yeah. I do. I live in Hollywood. Oh. Yeah. I mean, it's funny. You know, when I walk into the grocery store, it's like sometimes Mad Max. Beyond the Thunderdome. You know, it's crazy. How's life been for you after Drag Race? Oh, it's like went from black and white to Technicolor. Yeah.

And how's life been for you during Un? Fabulous. Wonderful. Great. Not the boar worms. I've sat and watched some of Un and been like, these bitches is dumb. Oh, we're so dumb. Yeah, we're so stupid. So stupid. And when they take y'all heads off and go flying, it's dumb. I love every moment of the dumbness. You guys have had TV shows spin off from Un. Yeah, we got...

We got a lot. Yeah, we got a lot. We got to do a lot from that little show, you know, like, and it's so nice because like we just started it. She looks so ugly at the beginning. Oh my God. I forget. I forget. She was wearing her. She was, she had her like crazy teeth with her nightgowns and the makeup that wasn't kind of like in its place yet. And God, she has come far. You talking about Trixie? Oh, yeah.

I'm over here looking like, where she at? You know, I'm like, what is this? I saw some of the earlier episodes and she looks nuts. I think people don't understand like organic foolishness. That's why. Yeah. Organic foolishness. Yeah. I wasn't even trying. No. Yeah. Organic foolishness. That's a really good. It's just organic. Nobody was pushing it. You guys sat down. Y'all started just talking about whatever the fuck you want to talk about all day. Yeah. Because this is my show and not yours. Yeah. Totally. Yeah.

Because this is our show and not yours. It's true. It's true. And it's just like, I'm sitting there like, God, Lee, these motherfuckers is crazy. Crazy, yeah. And I would love to come sit with them because I'm organic foolishness. Yes, very, very that. Well, we are going to wrap it up. I cannot thank you enough. Listen. For all the laughs. All you got to do is call me, niece, and I'll be here in a moment. Thank you, auntie. And I'll tell the girls, das. Give it up for T.S. Madison. For me. Woo.

And the boar worm. Thank you, auntie. My niece. How do you say that in Russian? Spasiba. Yes. Spasiba. Yeah, perfect. Like spicy va. Spasiba. Spasiba. Perfect. Like placenta. Placenta. Yeah. Spasiba. Spasiba. No, no, you're Aztec-ian, hush. Like placebo. Yeah, kind of like placebo. Spasiba.

Spicy butt. Bye y'all. Make sure that y'all are subscribed. Oh yeah, where did the children find you online? Oh listen, honey, if you don't know where I'm at, bitch. Then you don't know nothing. Then you don't know shit. Go back to school. Somebody will teach you, motherfucker. Yeah, if you haven't found her already. T.S. Madison, honey, you'll find her whatever you're looking for. I got treats.

Meats and all things that you need to eat, baby. Online. T.S. Madison. Instagram is T.S. Madison. Facebook, T.S. Madison. Twitter, T.S. Madison. YouTube, T.S. Madison. T.S. Madison. T.S. Madison. T.S. Madison. That's it. All right. And not that one that's pretending to be me, honey, because there's only, so I'm one of one. Fuck that bitch. Fuck that bitch. She can't be me, honey.

I was going to say some other shit, but I had to think about it like it would get me fucked up. So not the bull. Not the. Thank you. Bye. Bye.

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