This Fall, buck the hackneyed trends that ooze like a puss-filled pimple from the runways of Milan and Paris. Instead, embrace the effortless style that comes from the classic down-under fashion of the extraordinarily ebullient and embarrassingly eloquent Courtney Act. Whether you're channeling your inner Crocodile Dundee or the cowboy sleaze of John Wayne's 40 lbs of impacted colon feces, look no further for your comprehensive Fall Fashion Guide! From Miss Act's sparkly rhinestone Dr. Martens to her signature "Coochie-Cut" bugle crystal jorts, your neighbors will be peaking through their blinds to goon at the unadulterated gorgeousness on display. To accent your genetically-perfect complexion and perfectly-coiffed hair, finish the outfit with a genre-defying sequined denim Jacket and blindingly-neon-yellow tube-top that subtly hints at the existence of the perky little nipples that lie beneath. If you can walk down the street wearing this outfit without being instantly booked to be a model on Ed McMahon's Star Search, then you can slap my ass and call me Shirley.
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