Christmas Dinner at Judi Dench's House with Bianca Del Rio and Katya
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Excuse me, what is your age? My age? Wait, are we starting? We're rolling. Oh, we're rolling. I'll introduce you later. Oh, that's all good. I was like, wait a minute. No, my age, I mean, I was- Stop screaming. I keep thinking I'm on stage. I'm in this set. Fuck you, God. No, I'm 48. I'll be 49 this year. Okay, I'm going to say- Anyway, how old are you? 41, but why do you look 15 years younger than I do? Because I'm not white.

Oh, that's, so should I, how do I, maybe I should, do I Rachel Dozel myself? What do I do? No, because that's problematic. I would say you just need to get some black dick and get that little melatonin inside of you. Honey, I've had plenty of melanated black dick inside me, but I remain this pale and pallid and translucent. Well, you can work on this. I mean, you don't look your age. I look older. Yeah.

That's exactly what I'm thinking as I was looking at you. But real though, let me, I just, you know what? Because this is the ax I've been grinding since I moved to LA. Tell me. I'm sick and tired, sincerely, of-

older is bad, younger is good. Not only that, older is useless, younger is the ultimate value. No. Get the fuck out of here. No, I think it works both ways. I think it's just, they're all fucked up. I know people that are 20 years old that are assholes and I know people that are 60 and are total fucking miserable cunts. So I don't think it- But do you know any wise 20 year olds? It's their fresh dewy like,

Okay, you said 20. You didn't say 18. So 20, well, 21-year-olds, 21-year-olds. 18 is the age of consent, Bianca. Don't judge me. In America, it surely is. Well, I haven't been to court, so I have no idea, but I was just assuming it's all 21. But no, children don't excite me. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not talking about children. I'm talking about

in Hollywood. Well, 18 you'd not consider a child. The starlet is 22. Oh, a starlet. Oh, we're talking about the show business in general. Yeah, the show business. Yeah, I would say that it is interesting that they always look at the young and think the young is profitable and the young is exciting. The young is the only option. Right. No, don't care for it. Like, you know, there's that funny bit, I think Julia Louis-Dreyfus and a bunch of other actresses in their 40s and 50s are like, welcome to the unfuckable table now that you've turned 40. There you go. But it's not a joke. It's true. No, when you think about something like Sunset Boulevard and, you know, here was a woman who was 50 at

at the time. - Norma Desmond? - Yeah, Norma Desmond, who was the character, was in her 50s and her career was over. It's like, that's fucking insane. Look at Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep's what, 70 something years old? - Look at fucking Judi Dench, 320. - Hello? - Blind. - Did I ever tell you a story about Judi Dench? - Blind. - So Judi Dench had come to see me when I was doing the musical, "Everybody's Talking About Jamie." So I was there and then I was doing the tour of the show. And then I got a text message

from her daughter who I know, Finty, who's a lovely actress as well. And she's like, I see that you're going to be on the road and you're going to be, I don't know where the hell, Brighton, I think it was in the UK. And she goes, that's near our home. And we wanted to know if you wanted to come and have Christmas. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, I'm going to go have Christmas with fucking Judi Dench. Like, sign me the fuck up. Judi fucking Dench. She's a hoot. So anyway, all of this has worked out and I'm all excited. And everybody on tour is like, Bianca, oh,

well, I know that you're away from your family because they don't realize. Yeah. They're like, we know you're away from your family. Would you like to come with us? I'm sure you don't have plans. And I'm like, girl, girl, someone as rotten as you for the holiday season is going to be lonely and desperate. Not even the Salvation Army would want you, girl. I would want the Salvation Army, but I'm like,

"Girl, I'm going to Judi." They're like, "What?" I said, "Judy Dunge invited me to her house for Christmas." And they're like, "Are you fucking kidding me?" I go, "Yes." So this leading up to this and everything's amazing, right? Then we get to Brighton. I believe it was Brighton. I can't remember. It's the one with the beach. I love Brighton. I think it's Brighton. Brighton's with the beach, right? With all the rocks. So I'm there, everything's going well. And it's all during the COVID moment. So nobody was supposed to leave our circle.

And the lead, Leighton Williams, who was in our cast, who's actually just did Dancing with the Stars in the UK. I haven't heard of him. He ain't no star. Anyway, he went to a party and he got COVID. And we all got COVID. So I could not go to Judi Dench's fucking house. And I thought, wait a minute, what if I'd have gone and not known? And then I would have killed Judi Dench.

Can you imagine? That would have been a really healthy psychological spin on a horrible situation. I, however, would like to not spin it that way. And I'm going to look at this camera and say, Leighton Williams, you are not a star and you cannot dance.

That part. So take that down to Fear Ruchi Boulevard and give Judi Dench COVID with that. I love him, but I wanted to kill him because I was like, fuck! But she did send me Christmas gifts, which was very, very sweet. She was lovely. Were they cheek swabs? No, she sent me actually little reindeer tassels. I have a picture. I'll have to send it to you. Little rainbow titty tassels. And she made me a stocking. How sweet is that? Judi fucking Dench. How lovely. Judi fucking Dench. And then we shared a dressing room at one point. Crafter Extroiter.

Well, I was in the dressing room early. It was during the festival and I was there and I was using a dressing room and the deal for me, this was in my rider, which was as long as I don't have to change dressing rooms for a week and a half, I will use this particular theater. And they were like, okay, great. No big deal. And then when I got there, they're like, we have some convention happening in the morning. We need you to move your stuff. And I'm like,

Didn't we fucking say no move a shit? Because you know how much shit I bring. So I'm like, oh, fucking pain in the ass. So I moved all of my stuff. And then when I came in for my evening show to set up, there was a sign that said Judi Dench. And I went. Is it a joke? Wait a minute. I cleaned my room for Judi. So then I texted her daughter and I told her what was going on. She's like, oh my God.

And then I left the note for Judy and then they lost the note for Judy. So we missed each other, but I know. I know. Judy, I know you're listening and I know you're watching this. Can we just have your mailing address? Comment below. Comment below, please. Your mailing address and phone number. Yeah, put it up. So just we'll call you. So we can contact you and make it happen. We'd love to have you here on the podcast. No, I wouldn't, but we'd love to call you. It's Judy fucking Ditch. No, but just call her. She'll give us COVID. We don't want to make a trap phone.

Could you imagine? Listen, I mean, Maggie Smith. Let's talk about Maggie Smith. Talk about a bitch who made a career being a cunt. Sweetie, have you ever seen Murder by Death? No, have you seen, which one's the other one? Death on the Nile. Have you seen that one? Death on the Nile? Maggie Smith, Angela Lansbury, Betty Davis. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh, shit. Do you really need the whole hand? No, just the... Okay, I was going to say. One finger, one finger. But they're all in that movie, and it's costumes that are done by Anthony Powell. They're amazing drag on Academy Award for Best Costumes. It's an amazing movie. Girl, Murder by the Death was... You know about Clue, right? Yes. So in the earlier... Truman Capote is in this movie. Truman Capote, we love. We got Peter Sellers as the yellow-faced Ching Chong. Ching Chong. Yeah, he does a yellow-faced Ching Chong character. So offensive. Of course. And then Maggie Smith and...

She plays like, oh, Dickie. How tacky. I mean, it's so cunt. She's a rich bitch. And it's just, the movie's absurd. I love it so much. I have to look it up. I haven't seen it. It's fabulous. If you love Clue, you'll love this one. Truman Capote with his fucking gay lisp. Oh, of course he had a big gay lisp. It's so funny. It's great. Anyways, who else is your like,

If you had to like body snatch the, the, um, the body of an actress who is over 50. Okay. And, and, um, and get to live in her heyday, live her whole life, whatever you want it to live in. Like, like somebody that I wanted to be or somebody that I like an actress who's still living, but over the age of 50 and you can snatch into her body whenever you want during any era of her life. Ooh. Oh, I'd have to say Glenn Close. Oh, now you see, that's a crazy fucking bitch. You see? And then what's crazy, not crazy. She's not real crazy in real life. No, no. Uh,

But what's crazy is that she plays crazy and you've got to be crazy to play crazy that fucking good. Well, you gotta know crazy. And you've had to experience crazy. Crazy.

I'm on my way, baby. On your way? You're on the fucking crazy train, bitch. I fucking know you. I've worked with you. I'm on the caboose. Crazy. Crazy. Caboose. I'm on the bus. I'm not on the train. I'm driving the bus. Make it all stops. I'm Sandra Bullock. Make it all fucking stops. But there's no bomb under there. I'm driving over 50. No, no. So there's, I saw, I've been Googling. A lot of Googling. What have you been Googling? Liza fucking Minnelli. Oh, don't get me started. Another bitch. That's who you want to be? No, I am her. Well, okay. Just without the talent. I see the resemblance. All the pills, no talent. All the pills.

I've got the drug abuse, but no talent. A great mother. So it's actually, I'm not really her at all. 1972, I gotcha. Cabaret. Not cabaret, but I gotcha. Oh, it lies with a Z. Yeah. Yeah. I gotcha. Have you ever done that number?

Are you, you think I could do that number? That's such a compliment. I don't know what you do. I've never been to your show. What do I know? I can do this part. Show me. Yes. Yes. That's very Fosse or it's an epileptic fit. Yeah. That too. If there weren't the backup dancers, you would be convinced she was having a seizure. You see? A nervous breakdown. But a seizure in sequence. Different. She's wearing Halston, honey. That makes it a show. And that, and you're on a stage. Sweetie, that outfit. That outfit, that little red sequin. Cut to the coot.

Sheer red tights, red pumps. Red shoes. And then- It might be red boots, I think it is. No, they're shoes. They're shoes. Yeah. Are you sure? I'm sure. I've watched it 54 times. Okay. Okay. I'll take your word. Because I said Trixie should wear the pink version. I wear the red one. We do it together. But if we were to perform, we'd have to wear the boots. I see. Yeah. Yeah. Because the boots actually work great. Because you probably find matching boots for the two of you, right? Of course. Yeah. And a size 15 for her. What size shoe do you wear?

I am a dainty European 42. Oh, okay. You have surprisingly large leg hoops. Yeah, I wear 12 in women's, which is crazy. That's crazy. You are 4'2". I am not 4'. How tall are you? 4'8". You're 4'8". 4'9". 4'9 with lashes. 5'9". 4'9 with lashes. No, I think I'm like 5'8 in real life. You're full of shit. 5'8". That's not tall. How tall are you? Okay, yeah, you're right. Get the fuck out!

I'm 5'9". Well, it's not 5'9", so it's fine. Oh, it's not a big deal. You're just how much taller than I am. But you know what's crazy? There's people that are like my height that I consider smaller. Well, because they have... Do you know what I mean? Like, oh, what a small little... Like, Courtney Act, I think of her as like a tiny little thing. But she is petite, girl. I know, but she's not... She's like...

our height or taller. No, she's like 5'7". No. Honey, her shoes, she slept at the kids section. Oh, she could wear tiny shoes. Yeah, she could wear tiny fucking... She is like 37. I'm amazed at the people with tiny feet. You know who else has big feet that I found out? Because I knew this fag that worked at... Angela Lansbury. No. Um...

Louboutin in Paris who sent me a message saying, come and get some shoes. And I'm like, great. So I'm going to the store. I said, I have big feet. So we went in and we're looking at all the shoes and he's like, don't worry. You can get a 42. We can get a 43. I said, do you even make 43? He goes, in specific shoes we do. And he says, you know who fits in the 43? Paris Hilton and Kamora Lee Simmons. I knew you were going to say Paris Hilton. She has 11. Size 11 feet. There you go. Size 11 feet. She's also six feet tall almost. Well, I guess on Louboutin she wears 11.

Larger size, which is crazy to think about. You know, it's the funny thing. Because when, in my opinion, when you're a drag queen especially, and you have a shoe size out of the normal range, you're dodging a bullet. The most uncomfortable shoe you could ever wear in your life. Well, they don't look comfortable. They look fabulous. No, they don't look comfortable. The queens that I see wearing them. No, they look fabulous. The queens I see wearing them don't look comfortable. And the worst part is, it's the same thing with purses. I don't understand the fascination with purses.

Me neither. Because they're like, ooh, I spent all my money on a Gucci purse. Now you have no money to put in the fucking purse. Also, so it's going to get stolen on the subway, you fucking idiot. Thank you. Thank you. Perfect example. A big fancy purse and you're riding the subway. A Birkin? Are you nuts? I don't care for that. You're going to leave it in a bathroom somewhere doing cocaine, you fucking lush housewife.

Not talking to you. I was like, did somebody tell you? Real Housewives or whatever. It's happened to me before. But you know what's interesting is that I always find funny. I don't get any sad expression out of going, this costs this much money. No. I love going, girl, $2. Yeah, you're never going to believe this. Yeah, you're never going to believe this. It is good. So it's funny because we talk about this all the time, Trixie and I. She's very newly rich. She grew up in a trailer. Yeah, I saw the teeth. I do. She's not here. I don't think she's got to go to a lower specialist. I think her doctor only does stuff. No, stop it. Okay.

Girl, when Jiggly had her bottom done, that says a lot. That was some Frankenstein. Incredible. That should have been Nobel Prize winning. That's some fucking work, honey. The Kennedy Center honors. Honey, that is make a wish. That is reconstruction. The swan. Remember the swan. Could they get away with the swan now?

No, because not because it's offensive because they're cheap. Oh, that too. Because they would send them away. For those of you who don't know, they would send them away and then just totally just like tear these people apart. Like liposuction, new titties, new teeth. Let's see. It would be Stacey Lane Matthews walks into the swan and out walks Emma Stone. There you go. Literally. And yeah, you'd go, is that her? It's her. Yeah. I bet it was a bait and switch. It was.

I bet it was all like they had a lab set. With other people that look like them. And maybe pick contestants from what they look like. Yeah. You're onto something. Oh, you got a younger sister who's thin? Is she pretty? We'll give her a nose job and call it a wrap. Bring her in. Bring her in. That's it.

The Bald and the Beautiful is supported by FX's English Teacher. From Paul Sims, the executive producer that brought you What We Do in the Shadows, FX's English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school.

I cannot wait to see this amazing new show with the preternaturally hysterical Brian Jordan Alvarez. It's from the producer of one of the greatest TV shows of all time. And can I let you in on a little secret? A certain Miss Trixie Mattel makes a guest appearance on the show and whoa, it is a sight to behold. Take it from me, a connoisseur of quality television programming. You do not want to miss this show. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

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because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I.com. We have to talk about the tour because I'm going to forget and it's very important. So you have, for some reason, against all odds and against everybody's wishes, decided to go on another tour. I did. I did. You know what? And the weird thing is that I would have done it last year, but I decided to take a break because, you know, there was, I don't know if you heard, but there's a couple of these people that were out there by the name of like

Beyonce and Taylor. And I thought, wait, are they folk artists? They're working. They're working. They're up and coming. They're working up and coming. And I just thought, you know, let them go make some money for a minute. I mean, you have to give them a chance. That's what I do. I got the call. I said, take the dates, honey. So yes, I am hitting the road. I start February 12th, I believe, in San Diego. Jesus Christ, that's in like three days. It is. It is.

But, you know, I'm out on the road. And what's great is that I'm going to be out. So we're doing the first 60 to 70 dates, which are in America and Canada. And then I'll be traveling all across the globe after that. Girl, I saw you at the House of Blues 14 years ago. You did. Remember that? Wait, you know what's so funny about that? What? Do you know how I didn't know it was you? Because I hadn't been on the show yet. No, I know you hadn't been on the show yet, but you sent me a message on Twitter. And your Twitter handle was like Katya's number one fan. And I was like, that was your Twitter?

her name and then no yes I got a call from Mish who said to me she's like Katya's been trying to get in touch with you and I'm like well who is this oh because I only had one fan at that time me there you go so it said Katya's number one fan so I'm like I thought it was like some fan page oh no it was Katya's number one flan it was a cuisine account I forgot your answer desserts yes so in the end Katya's number one flan sent me a message and I didn't see it because I thought it was like

a fan site. But we did. I think we did end up meeting. Then you showed up. They said, no, it's really her. And that's when we were sitting backstage. I'll never forget. You said, why don't you stick a loaf up your pussy, you fucking bitch? Because you're yeasty. No, not to me. To a woman in the crowd. Oh, oh, yeah. It was some kind of... There was a yeasty something something inside. I bet you... No, I bet you have a fucking loaf up your pussy right now, you fucking bitch. And it was so quick and... It was sourdough. Yeah. That was...

Now you're a baker. Now I'm a baker. I almost spit out my drink because I was like, what? It was really like just a very casual, quick audience exchange. You weren't doing crowd work. And it was like, it was.

Well, that's what they pay for. I know, but it was just like, that had me gagging. It was just so funny. You should have seen her pussy. It was so vulgar. That made me gag. But we had a good time. And that's when you came back. You were so nice. We chatted that night and you was like, I'm about to go on the show. And we caught up on all that madness. I said, don't do it. It's a trap. It's already done. And here we are. Well, it's funny. I am so, this is going to sound so corny. Oh God, here we go. I mean, it's so strange. Wait, is Judy Dench in that closet? You're about to bring her out. Is that what's going to happen?

Judy, just stay in there for a second. There's an oxygen tank in the upper drawer. She can't see us. She can't hear us. Well, she's blind. I know. Okay, okay. That's why she was inviting me to her house. She had no idea who it was. She thought you were Bianca Jagger. She thought I was Latrice.

I don't think she's, well. Anyway, what? I was going to say, it's so, it's such a, like, I feel such, it's so strange to have like, have met people that I've, you know, like you, Lady Bunny, Coco Peru, people I've been jerking off to for years. Old people? Is that what you're trying to say? To have met old people? You're not far behind, cunt bag.

Well, no. Girl, I'm three or four years behind. You know, it's so like, sometimes you slip into the bunny voice or a bad bunny voice and it's like, it's almost like a brain infection. Completely. Because you're like, and then you'll be- It takes over. You'll be at the, I was at Bank the other day, I was like, how would you like it? Large bills. And I'm like, what the hell is happening? Give me large bills. And it takes over. What's crazy is that she told me that I sound more like her than she does.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, she calls you. We call her drive-by bunny, where she just goes through a list of queens. Oh. And if you don't answer, she moves on to the next queen. Bam. I've been at my house with Mariah Balenciaga, and then my phone will ring, and then I don't answer. I'm like...

I don't have time. Cause you know how it is with Bunny. You gotta like take a break and have a moment. So, so, so, okay. You know, with Bunny, it's she, I idolized her. I mean, I loved her so much. I watched her extra, um, her special X rated for extra, you know what? And, um, uh, on a, I think it was a CD rom at that point. Yeah. Yeah. And I told her to barge as a narration. She's fucking hysterical. But so then when I actually got to meet and then work with her,

I realize it's a double-edged sword. Sometimes you, sometimes you be careful what you wish for. You shared a dressing room, did you? Oh, it's not only that. I shared a telephone number. And then, and then for maybe a good year and a half, I would pick up the phone like, oh my God, I can't wait to have some riveting political analysis from a very in tune person. You never know what you're getting. You never know if you're getting this political agenda or you're getting a fart joke. I hear you guys. Fuck me.

Wait, wait. Sherry Vine told me she used to call her. And it never stops. You put the phone down, you go do the dishes. And it's still there. It's like diabolical. She used to call Sherry Vine and go, Apple, Apple. And Sherry would go, what do you want? You don't like apples, girl?

And then hang up. But then she called me. She'd go, banana. There you go. Banana. There you go. She called Trixie, corn. There you are. She made her way down the alphabet. Back in the day, back in the day, she would call your answering machine and like fill up your entire answering machine. That's cunt though. But that's old school. Mama, you have a hard day at the office. And you come home and you get... Serotonin. You don't need that Prozac anymore. You're like... White noise. You fall asleep.

That's what she would do. She would fill up your answering machine. I mean, remember Batman Returns, Selina Kyle comes home and she's like, imagine if it was, hey, Catwoman, have you changed a little box today? That's my little pussy. How many lives do you have left? I have some milk.

Wait, speaking of which, we have a special celebrity call-in question. I hope they're available. Call-in question. It's kind of a big deal. It's kind of a big deal. Is it Juju Dench? It's actually probably more famous than that. Can she call from the closet? Let's see if she can. I mean, I know a lot. I'm kind of famous now, Bianca. I know a lot of famous people. Oh, I know you're famous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kate Beckinsale invited me to her birthday party once.

Hold on, let me try again. Yeah, do it. Because we've got time. This is humiliating. I did a pre-call yesterday, too. To warn them. You know what? Maybe because she's in glam right now, she doesn't want to do FaceTime. Oh, I got it. I got it. I got it. Okay, yeah. Charlize never likes to do glam. Yeah, I totally understand. Also, like, Julia Robertson. Yeah, yeah, I get it. Oh, is this delightfully sexpot lady bunny by chance?

This is the dried up old winter version. I, Lady Bunyan, am here to assert myself. What other random clowns have you near? Hello, Lady Bunyan. Who is that? It's the Vinegar Witch. Ah!

I hope that does not mean Jacqueline beat. No, no, gosh, no, no, no. No, I haven't thrown up yet. I'm hard, Bunny. I'll give you a hint. I'm hard looking at her. Do you want me to talk you through it? Do you want to talk me through it? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Good girl, good girl, good girl, good girl, good girl, good girl. Big girl polka, good girl polka. Oh! Big girl polka, big girl polka. Yeah. Oh, my. Good girl, good girl, good girl, good girl, good girl. Oh, my. Oh, my.

Well, listen, this person, Bianca, is about to go on tour. We wondered if you had any words of wisdom or encouragement for her as she embarks on her next solo tour. Well, I wish her the best, of course, but I do want to thank her for cooperating with me so that she could show her concern and begin her tour, upcoming tour, you know, when it comes down to it.

I am Connecticut Ann Flintstone Realness. Don't come around here if you can't.

Yes. Well, Bunny, thanks as always for your riveting and insightful political insight. We appreciate that. Thank you so much. Who is that? That's Bianca Del Rio. I believe you were. Oh, gross. You just gave me a statement, you cunt. Yeah. Yeah, she's going to slay herself. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, well, thank you, Bunyan. Please have a happy new year. Well, I wish you luck, Bianca, on your tour and Katya, I really wish you luck this podcast. Thank you, Bunyan. Bye, Bunyan. She hung up. Oh, God. You know, that's what you get always done on Bunyan to just hang up. Well, when she's done talking, she hangs up on you. Oh, no, singing. Yeah, well, as soon as you start mentioning yourself, because she's like, girl, girl, girl. You can't get a word in. You get a word in, got to go.

But girl, so that went on for two years. Then I stopped answering the phone. Of course. If I start in person, it's always a kiki. Of course. Always a kiki. Then I stopped answering the phone because I know I'm 24th on the phone tree. Well, not only that, but you need to sit down for like an hour and a half. Like there's no way. Like you got to go, where am I? Or you could just like roll over, press, and then go back to sleep and put on mute. That works too. But you can't walk. Like if you're in New York and you're walking around the street, and this would happen to me all the time, my phone would ring and it was her. And I'm like, do I pull over from walking? How much do I have? Three hours.

Yeah. Can I just stand here under this while it's raining and deal with this? Cause you will walk into traffic and get killed by talking to her. And you should, if you're talking to her, it's actually a better solution. They see the name on that phone screen. Well, but then, but then fast forward to like, I don't know, three months ago, I was like, I don't see what fucking, well,

money's up to. Oh God, you're brave. And not only did we have the most, not only, because I figured she's probably mushy banana brains right now. Well, it just, oh yeah, with all the politics. Yeah. You know, because I'm not really, I just see all this stuff. I don't really, I'm not a good, like, like a very skilled, cogent, media literate viewer of social media because I don't care anymore. Of course. But like, not only do we have the Kiki of all Kikis, she is sharper, wittier, funnier, more insightful, and just as articulate as ever. She really is so fucking,

She is very interesting. And if you see her out of drag, it's even more interesting. Because everybody asks, what does Bunny look like? And I just swollen Jeff Daniels. Or Ben Franklin. Yeah, that too. And I told her that. And she's like, Ben Franklin, fake. So as an American, Ben Franklin. But Jeff Daniels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Swollen Jeff Daniels. You would never, ever. And she's the one, she's the only person because she hasn't really...

She doesn't have an out-of-drag public persona that much. But the voice, honey. And that voice is telltale. If you see a sea of Jeff Daniels impersonators and then Bunny, you wouldn't be able to. You'd be like, what? Where is it? Where is it coming from? That's very much so true. It's cutty. It is. So what is the name of the tour? The tour is called Dead Inside.

And this is the most, well, this is when you're supposed to go, why? Well, it's just seemed fitting. You know, you have to find the right title. I wanted to do salty bitch, but then they were like, it's problematic when you're going on the road because you can't have bitch in the title. Also, yeah, because you're not a bitch. You're quite a nice person. It depends on who you ask. Well, what's your Chinese zodiac? I am, I think I'm the, I'm June 27th. So I think I'm 1975. So it's a rabbit, I think. Oh, let's check it out.

Let's check it out. I'm a dog, obviously. Makes a lot of sense. 1975. I think it's a rabbit. Every time I've been to a restaurant, I would see it on the menu. What kind of rabbit? It wasn't that specific, that feng shui. It was just on the... It's the... No, no, no. It's the wood rabbit. Now, what is a wood rabbit? Hold on. Let me check that. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

I didn't know I was getting a reading today. The wood rabbit. There's like the wood, because it's an element. Okay. I'm the water dog. Oh, okay. You're the wood rabbit. You know more about this than I do. I just was at the restaurant. I would look for my year and it said rabbit. Yeah. Love that. Yeah. Well, a bunny. That's why I get along with bunnies so well. That must be it. Yeah. She's my person. Have you ever fucked her? Mm-mm.

Sorry, how many times have you fucked her? Twice. Three times. Were you awake? Yeah. Was she awake? Listen, a gun was, I thought it was a gun in my head, but it was a situation where, oh, you mean like have sex?

I mean, I left the gig without paying her. Let me tell you a good story about her. I fucked her over. That was good fucking. But we had a moment one time that she was, we were back, we were doing the show in New York at XL and we were doing the show and she came up to me and she's like, girl, let's have some fun tonight. And I'm thinking, what does this mean?

And then she's like, I've got the itch. So I was like, oh, she must be talking about cocaine. So I was like, okay, yeah. So I'm like, oh, this will be fun. You know, cause I'm an adult and I've had my share with drugs. So I thought this would be fun. Me and Bunny are going to have a good time. She's like, girl, I didn't have any money on me. I said, oh, I've had some cash cause I lived in Harlem at the time. So I always had to have cash to take the cab back home.

And I said, oh, I've got money, no big deal. So we went to the crackhead girl that was in the group and I went to her and said, hey, listen, I don't have a drug vendor, do you? And so I gave her the money. She's like, no problem, I'll get it for you. And then after the show, I saw the girl and she's like, ooh, gave it to Bunny. I said, no problem. So I'm packing up all of my stuff and Bunny says, I'm gonna run and grab a drink. I said, okay, great, I'll meet you at the front. I pack up all of my stuff. I'm like, this is gonna be great. We're gonna have a good time with Bun Bun. I go up to the front bar and I said, where's Bunny? They go, she left.

She took my drugs and left and then didn't answer her phone. Divas, Las Vegas. What a shady cunt! No, what an entrepreneur. And then acted like it didn't happen. $60, god damn it. That's a diva. That's Brigitte Nielsen in Beverly Hills Cop 2. Oh, we just watched that. Eat the floor. Have you ever eaten the floor? Are you kidding? Like, I mean, you've licked the floor, right? I've licked the carpet. I've licked the linoleum, the parquet. You've munched on the rug?

Everything. Everything down there. The trash. Cigarette butts on the driveway. So basically you're a drag raccoon. Moss. That's moss. Peat moss. Tire tracks on the road.

Crime scenes. Trash cans. Chalk the outline. Not that it's gone when I'm there. That's fierce, honey. That's fierce. All of a sudden, my nose is itching because I'm talking about cocaine. Oh, it must be a flashback. Mental. So do you bristle? How do you feel about, I don't want to lead the leading question. How do you feel about people who are like,

I'm a New Yorker. Oh, I think it's stupid because I don't know many people that are born and raised there. And so a lot of us- Well, Fran Drescher. Well, okay, but that was like Queens. So that was like outside of the city. So that's kind of fine because you can sense it with her, with the sound and with the look and all that matter. So like people that are from Jersey, I'm like, oh, there's a look to it and you understand it. But I think what's funny is that anybody that moves to New York, and I think the rule is you have to be there 10 years before you're considered a New Yorker. But I say kudos to the person who decided to get out of their hometown to go to New York.

I think that's a good thing because then you're a smart bitch. And it's a hard thing to do. It is. Nowadays, I think you have to be a billionaire to have any kind of two bedroom apartment in Manhattan. But also when you're there and you're paying what you're paying and doing what you're doing to pay for the rent, you don't realize how absurd it is until you leave there and like come to California and you go, what space? What? Yeah. A friend of mine from New York was like, it costs $30 to leave my apartment. It does. No, truly. Just to get out the door, $30.

I had a moment where I was living in Harlem and the rent was cheap, but I had to take a cab every time to come downtown. Then I moved downtown because what I spent in cabs, I could pay for the apartment. So the geography in New York is enormous. How long does it take with no traffic, say, to get in a car from Harlem to downtown? Oh, well, if you catch all the lights, it's about 15, 20 minutes. Oh, but in traffic? But in traffic, it could take forever. Bro, we would do these... This is so boring, but we would do these gigs like, you know... You had gigs? You do these things that...

What were the gigs? VH1, for example. Oh, excuse me. You go to New York to do press, okay? Oh, yeah, yeah, for your season. They get you a car from 51st Street to 53rd Street. Which is insane. 25 minutes. Yeah, of course. Just go... I could have... You could have walked. I could have ate the floor on the way there. You could have done it. Like snail trailed. It's crazy. I don't like... I hate it when you're going somewhere and they send like a limousine. Like it's the worst fucking...

It's so stupid. You gotta get in like this. You've got a corset, you've got wigs. They can't drive well. Give me a Mini Cooper. Strap me at the top of it. It'll do my hair as I go. Give me a fucking U-Haul, bitch. I just stand up right the whole entire way. Just a little ramp to go up there. A rickshaw, now that would be fierce. And you get a little blanket to sit on the back. That'd be cute. I'd love it. No, it is tricky though because I always say I would rather just walk. And like when I lived in West Hollywood, I was like,

I lived near that mall, you know, the Beverly Center. And so Courtney actually lived near me and I was like, oh, I'm going to walk to the mall. She's like, you're walking? We don't walk here. Excuse me, walking to the Beverly Center when you're like John Hayward? I like to walk and put on my headphones and just walk. What? That's not far. The Beverly Center is- That's not far from there. The Beverly Center? Yes. Mary, you cannot walk to the Beverly Center. You're thinking of a different place. No, the Beverly Center, that was the big, but that is not that far. It's like two miles.

Walking? Walking. That would have taken an hour. Yeah, and? Oh, wow. I love that. That's a New Yorker. And? That's so New York. No, you walk so much easier than getting in a car and schlepping down there. Well, I lived right down the street from you, you know, because I arrived at your house one day. Very...

Let's just say in high spirits. Let's just say feeling my fantasy. Let's use a euphemism, shall we? We can leave it at that. Yes, yes. It was a good night. I don't think I knocked on the door. I think I came through the window. You did? I think I maybe flew through the window. It was Christmas. I remember that. It was Christmas. I took a shower with my clothes on. We got a package. We got a package. Yes. I was cutting invisible cucumbers on her kitchen counter. Then I went into the bathroom, turned on the shower, left the bathroom.

It was a lot. It was a lot going on. It was good times. But you know what, though? You are a consummate professional and a decent human being because not only did you not call the police. No, I didn't. You did not call my mother. No. Or my babysitter. No. Or my grandmother. No. I didn't know any of that. I was like, girl. Well, I killed them all. Makes sense. Another piece of the puzzle. I know that you have been

I know that you're a woman of experience, experience with crazy difficult people. Not only how you control a rowdy crowd with a microphone, but the way that you navigate and having a crackhead in your house was very...

Well, you know what's crazy is that, you know, when I started drag, I mean, it was a different world and you met all different types of people. So you have the hoes, you have the druggies. I mean, I've had my share of drugs as well. New Orleans. Yeah. I mean, it was just part of the scene. So it's not so much. Well, you know, I mean, I know, and I don't want to be so okay boomer or remember when or back in our day, but like, I've always said this, honey,

Drag queens were typically three things. Yeah. Prostitutes, drug users, drug dealers, or scammers. No, and then we get alcoholics too. Oh, alcohol and drugs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're in all of a steal. We all stole cause we're all poor. Right. And it's like, so how, when did it become that we're not only running for Congress, we're

We're running nonprofit businesses to serve the community. Well, it's also crazy that when drag, it became a business because in the beginning, it was like, remember when you- Well, it's business. It's risky business. Very risky, but you would get in drag to like go meet with your friends and hang out. Or fuck a man. Oh, I've never done that. You fucked a man in drag? No, nobody wants to fuck this. No, honestly, you were- Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, listen. What? What, mama? Mama. What? Darling. Yes, sweetie. Talk to me, honey. Oh, I'll talk to you. Major, speak to me.

We need subtitles for this section. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I

Listen, she would never wear bottom lashes. Oh, she would. Those devastating lashes, that incredible crease, the soft blending, those ruby- Blending! Okay, now you lost me. Those luscious ruby lips, that glossy bang covering that horrible forehead. Fuck you, cunt! The hair tastefully wrapped up in a- Chignon. Police chignon. Police chignon. And they say, oh yeah, I want to fuck.

Fuck, no, I want her to fuck me in the butt. That's what they say. They say you are Wilma Flintstone and I want you to bedrock my ass with your fucking tank. Okay, now that you've made, now you're getting me hard because that actually sounds appealing. But it's true though. But you know, the scary thing about it is, you know how we talk about all the time, the queens that love to have the fans that they have sex with that are always like, ooh, I like that type of person. I've never met those type of queens. I don't know who those are. Yeah, get a mirror. So anyway, these people that enjoy that,

I couldn't imagine. But then like, like imagine like in a moment where you're having sex and somebody just like turns around and looks at you and goes, yeah, not today, Satan. Like that would like ruin. Think about it. Think about it. I'm always saying it because it happened, but think about it. It's horrible. Like my dick just crawled up back inside of me. You go, you go need help packing. I didn't need any help packing until he brought up Satan. Then my dick crawled back inside of me. Unmarried. Yes.

What's the scariest thing somebody told you in the bedroom? Oh, well, we don't have time. But the thing that comes to mind immediately, and this is not only scary, it's insulting. Oh, God. It's a bone to break that's insulting because they didn't ask about me. They didn't repeat one of my catchphrases. What did they say? They were like, is Violet really a bitch? Really? I was like, well. So after you said yes. You're going to find out because she's in hell and I'm sending you straight there right now. Is Violet really? That's what they asked you? About something about Pearl. Pearl.

Because this was before Trixie had really ascended to her status. Yeah. And she was just, you know, a brown tooth, whatever, you know. Now she's just lower brown tooth. Do you know that she is the, I mean, can you believe her success? I don't want to harp on it. No, I can't. It's insanity. No, truly, I can't. She's a person who would not describe herself as a person with immense innate talent. Neither would I, but yeah, I get it. And I certainly wouldn't either.

Wait, so what's my excuse? Why aren't I successful? Okay, back to the show. The point of that story was people will fuck you. How did you think that was a compliment to her? The way he said, oh, I don't want to compliment her. I don't want to sing her praises. Oh, I don't know.

I was just a backhanded non-compliment. Oh, I want to ask you, what's your worst show you've ever done? Worst show ever. Oh God, many. Like what in particular? Can you think of any? Oh God, yeah. Listen, there's always a moment. There's always some shit that goes wrong. What's the worst thing that ever happened to you on stage? The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage. Post Drag Race. Oh, post Drag Race. Because I know before Drag Race, all of our careers were fucking messes. Yeah, it was pretty rough.

I've been pissed on, vomited on. Well, you know what? You don't have that same reaction anymore because people are a little kinder. And especially if people are coming to see you, it's a different setup. It's an appearance. Yeah. I mean, every show is bad for me. Like in my mind, when you leave there, you just, if you come off the stage and go- Are you hard on yourself? That was famous. Of course you've got to be. Okay. You've got to be realistic. You've got to go, oh, that wasn't that funny tonight. Or this did this that night. And I've got to figure out what I'm doing with that. Yeah. I mean, I think there's a balance. Like any performance, like-

if you are a type of person that was like, well, I did that. It's like, well, you probably didn't. No, no. And also that's, that's who says that? Who the fuck says that? People who are not eating. Well, true. But also like the best thing about being on the road is that if it didn't work that night, then you have the next night to do it. Yeah. But you also don't go to everybody and go, Oh, what a horrible show. I acknowledge it within myself. It's just you. You're a solo act. Oh yeah. It's solo. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have a talented best friend to travel with. Oh, yeah.

Wait, am I the... I don't know. I'm not one half of an untalented duo. All of you are in groups. It's like everybody's like this and this and this and this and this. And I've never been that person. She keeps me tethered to this earthly realm. Otherwise, I would be somewhere in Middle Earth, girl. You'd be in my shower at my house still. Honey. Oh, boy. Like...

On the ceiling? You know how they do that in the movies where they're like, their legs are like a spider? Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't know what movie you're talking about, but yes, I'm going to say yes. You're going to wash that ass, Bianca. I'd be like the shower. The spider in the shower. Yeah, the spider who encourages the troll. No, okay. So wait. Worst, best show ever? Best show ever. I don't, you know. Oh, come on. But I don't remember. Like, I don't remember. Is it?

Uh, the best that we know there's a lot. No, it's because like one of those things where I like, I can, I can't remember. Cause when you go to the, you know how it is when you go to these cities, you're in the city and then you're out of the city. So it's not like you're spending a week in South Africa where you go, okay, I've, I've lived it and had a great time. It's not fucking, it's a kind of tragedy because like, well, no, I mean, I know you've know this and this is not something most people can relate to. You wake up in for 20 full minutes. Yeah. Could not sleep.

or say where the fuck you are. Oh, of course. 20 minutes. No, you can't. You're like, uh, I've been at the airport before. I've been at the airport where my luggage doesn't show up. And like, I've had connecting flights and I'm going from here to there and I get there and I spoke to someone saying, uh, I don't know where my luggage is. They go, where'd you come from? And I go, could have been Argentina. Could have been Alabama. Could have been Aquino, Ohio. I have no fucking idea. So yes, that is challenging. So you kind of go in and you do it. So I don't remember when that was like the,

greatest I don't know you ever take vacations I'm not a vacation person oh my god I'm not a vacation person though I can't relax oh well lovely yeah I'm not good with that but I like to be home and do my shit that I need to do at home that's true and I have to say you let me for some reason you let me into your home for more than one night well your parole officer called me yeah you came to the house did I tell you about the car ride home

So I spent a fabulous weekend at Bianca's estate, sprawling estate, 15 floors, um, 13 pools, the car park underground with a highway. Yeah. Um, good. No gorgeous house. Incredible. And, um, in, in,

right by Palm Springs. And I, as soon as I was sick of you or as soon as you kicked me out, I had to, I did not kick you out. We scheduled the amount of time for you to be there. It wasn't bad. It was great. You left your snail trail. So I take a car and I get into a black car on the way, two hour drive back to LA. Yeah. It's 116 to 120 degrees. It was 1pm. I'm like, that was the steel. No, no, 1pm in the summer. Yeah.

- What would you guess was the temperature of that car? If you had to, knowing me- - No air conditioning? No air conditioning all the way back? - No, not the air conditioning in this black Lincoln Continental was not only working, not working,

It was completely broken. I wasn't even given the benefit of hot air coming out of a vent. So your balls were stuck to the seat. You're marinating in faggot stew. Do you know crock pots? Yeah, I know fucking crock pots. You ever made a stew over the course of about 18 hours? I know a drag queen. I'm not going to name who it is, who every time she's around me, I'm like, what's she cooking?

Mama, nothing good. No, nothing. Nothing. So when you are in a situation, if you're like on a stage, for example, like flop sweats, you know, if you're... Are you a sweater? Where do you sweat from? Am I a Nicki fan? No, I'm asking where do you sweat from? Do you sweat from... Are you a head sweater? Are you a ball sweater? Are you a pit sweater?

Are you a funky sweater or are you just like a wet? No, I'm wet. You're wet, but you're not a stinky sweater. Mama, I do laundry three times a day. Okay. Okay. Okay. Don't come for my scent. I'm not just asking. If I smell it's because I'm smoking. Try to understand your stink. To classify your stink. So it starts immediately in the head. Okay. Right here. Yeah. Right here. I feel the drips right here. And then if I feel this trickle down, then I know the forehead's wet. And then it's just like-

The back dripping down the back. So you're wet in this SUV heading back to... And I'm in shorts and a t-shirt. It's leather. Leather black interior. Wait, what's leather? The outfit you have on? No, the black interior of the car. Hot leather. Yeah, hot leather. And I'm like, and I'm doing this. I don't have a pop fan. Usually I carry an emergency pop fan. Do you? Yeah. Yeah, is that just because you get warm or because you never know when it's going to be a circuit party? Well, no, because like if I'm in drag and there's the AC is unreliable, that goes a long way. It cools you off. Yeah, yeah, okay. So I'm...

I can't describe. You know, I would rather. Tell me. You know, Jiggly. Yeah, I do. Before the teeth in The Gorgeous Surge. I love Jiggly. I would rather her squat over my face.

and pushed so much, three weeks worth of diarrhea into my mouth. Then to sit in a hot car. Gurgle it. Have you ever gurgled diarrhea? I would if I didn't have to go in that car. Okay, got it. Got it. You set a scene here. I totally, yeah. I was, so you know when you're out in the rain in a romantic comedy kissing your beloved? Oh yeah, I've done that so many times. You and I did that. Yeah, remember in Paris, our night in Paris. I'm dripping. There's, a pool is forming on the, on the, on the,

And I'm like, why in the fuck did I not just say, excuse me, I'll take another car. Why didn't you? Oh, so the air wasn't working at all? Did you ask about the air? He said it's broken. I said, is there not, is the air conditioning not working? He's like, I'm so sorry. You could have called another car. Of course. You could have, but this is the, this is the state of my self-esteem and my, the level that I'm able to advocate for myself. I sat there. Now there is a, when you go back to LA, there's you, you cross the mountains or something and then the temperature drops like 10, 20 degrees. Of course it does. Yes. But,

But that was a good 20 to 30 minutes. And I was panicking so much. So you were saying your self-worth was low because you were at my house and I dogged you down to where you felt. Well, I think you beat me so viciously, emotionally, physically, and sexually that I could not even, and you also had sewn my mouth shut. So I wasn't able to advocate for myself. Double cross-stitch. But what's interesting is that you're telling me the story as if it's a bad thing. No, it's your fault is what I'm saying. Oh, of course it is. Everything is my fault.

Everything hits my goal. Oh yeah, so I ruined your fucking life. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why you haven't been back out.

Yeah, I haven't gone out. It's tricky. I'm an agoraphobic. I haven't gone to Palm Springs or anywhere. You guys should. I zoom into our podcast on the road. You're not even here right now. You're an hologram. Thank you. Oh, wish. Could you imagine how great that would be? Like, that would be the best. Manila said to me, she's like, we were talking about Dame Edna, who has an understudy. And Manila was like, isn't that fierce? I'm like, girl, they come to see you. It's just you. You ain't got no talent. And they're coming to see you, not somebody else who says you. Isn't that crazy? It's crazy.

It's just like when people have these shows that are on Broadway that are like their biography, their life, and then they have a standby. But it's your story. But that's Broadway though. I know, but honestly, if you're going to see them, you don't want to see some second rate bitch doing the story of Dave Mena. But here's the tea though. Here's the tea. When you have, so at least in these productions, like Chicago starring Erika Jayne,

When she has a contract where she needs to appear three nights a year. Okay. And then guess where I understood he is? Who? A show-stopping, unknown, incredible dancer. Of course. You're like, thank God Erica wasn't here. But that's how it is, though. It's like I've been at shows where, I forgot what show it was, but do you know who Linda Lavin is? Linda Lavin was from Alice, which is the Kiss My Grits show. You are so old. I'm not old.

But anyway, the point was I was there and then they announced that the star wasn't there. And then they said in the performance we played by Linda Lavin. And you're like, fuck out of here. And I sat there for a minute and I thought, I'm not going to dog her and leave. So I stayed and I watched it, but I did see people leave. And I'm like, no, that's fucked up. You bought the ticket, but if their name is above the title, that they have to give you the money back.

Well, fierce. It's true. So like, you know, if you and Trixie are doing a show and one of you were not there, would they really notice if you weren't there? Oh, please. We could put a bunny in her place and a Sherry in mine. You know what I mean? And people would stay for the whole thing. They would stay for the whole thing. They'd laugh. Yeah. They'd laugh, you know?

They'd be like, no intermission. Just keep going. We love this. Keep moving. Keep moving. No, but on the road, listen, and I don't mean, this is such a fucking obnoxious thing to say, but when you are on the road. Whenever you preface it with that, you know it's going to be bad. When you're on the road with Bianca, you want to fuck her so bad. Yeah, of course. No, it's like when you're sick on the road, you can't take a night off. No. You can't. It's too much. Yeah, you can't. But because there's no understudy. Right. They're there to see you. Right. That's the unique quality of our professions. We're famous for being us.

Yeah, and you've got to go and do the show. I've never canceled a show.

Fierce. Yeah, I've had, we've rescheduled. Okay, the truth comes out. No, no, we've rescheduled. There was one in Peru last year because we did 129 shows in 27 countries and 99 cities. Jesus Christ. And Peru was the only one we had to move because there was some political shit going on. So we couldn't get there. So that was it. That was the only one. And then I had to go make it up later. The hardest working bitch. I am, and I, you know, you are, it's crazy. But you do it to work. That was, that's me. I do it to work. You love working. I do like working. I like working on the road.

Oh. Which, you know, a lot of people have gone and done, you know, television stuff and different things like that, which is great if that happened, but I always like being on the road. I prefer the road. There's nothing like being a live entertainer. Yeah, I just like being, well, alive. Depends on the night. Dead inside. Some keep, come see Dead Inside. See Dead Inside. But I, no, but I like, I like live interactions with people, so that's always been my thing. Mama, you're so quick, and you do not even let them get a word. Before they've even tried coming up with their rebuttal. Rebuttal. They're like, you're like, love on the pussy. Next. It's like, it's so...

You're like, you are such a drill sergeant with the comedy. Well, it depends on who you talk to. You know, it's not everybody's cup of tea because that's what we deal with nowadays. Of course not. I mean, I hate most standup. But the weird thing now is that everybody's called a comedy queen when they're ugly. Have you noticed that? Girl, we went on a comedy tour with you. You know what I was doing on stage wasn't comedy. It was comedically awful. Oh, we did do that gig together. I don't want to talk about it. Okay. Shh.

You just brought it up. I did not. Okay. Let's get back to your show. I forgot all about it. Thank God. See, you are rotted. This is why you deserve that hot fucking car with your balls melting. Speaking of rotting balls, this onesie is heating me up. It's hot, isn't it? Yeah. I can see the sweat coming in right here. I do see. No, literally. I do see it. Do you want a minute? You need a little moisture? No, I'm good. I'm good. No, contrary to belief, I am moist at my age. Well, let me just be sincere for a second. You look fine.

fucking fabulous up close, which is no small feat. What does that, have you seen like horrible people up close that you just go, do I have eyeballs? Do I have glaucoma? Because it's like, would you mean that it's like, do you look like yourself? Cause that's what I always find interesting. Cause you see some of these photos where you're like, okay, they look good. Like I'm going to throw credit and go, you look gorgeous. Oh,

Oh, in person? She looked fabulous. Oh, I thought you were going to say she looked bad. No, no, no. Not on the main stage. I haven't seen her in years. Not on the main stage. She's lit so fiercely on the main stage. We did a little live podcast towards the end of All Stars 2. I saw her. We were this close to each other in regular lighting. I was like, okay, so how many bottles of baby blood did she fucking drink today? No, she does look good. Fabulous. You've never done a tic-tac. You've done a tic-tac lunch with her?

That was the, that was the, we, instead of that, it was a podcast. Okay. So we had done, we did the TikTok. Was she in drag or out of drag? In drag. In drag. Yeah. Yeah. It's always good when she's in drag. But I had that moment when we did TikTok lunch and I was just like, am I allowed to look at you? And she said, yes. Yes.

It was, it was crazy. And I was looking at all of it. All of it. It was fabulous. I mean, of course, Raven's artistry is fabulous. Yes, it was. Our season was Matthew Anderson art. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, it was like, just, But girl, you look, and I'm like, I mean, we did two podcast tours on the road and on day one, I was rusty and dragged and shave right, didn't do my skincare, looked horrible. Day two, Fina did my skincare, I looked amazing, but, you know,

whatever you're doing, keep doing it. I look like my picture girl. It's just what it is. If you look like AI to start with, you just continue to do it. I mean, there ain't no way you just stop blending and you add a bottom lash when you got wrinkles, bitch. Anal intent. That's it. That's what I'm all about. Anal intention. Okay. Where can they, where's the first show? Oh, the first show is in San Diego. And then my, my last one will be my last one of this round will actually be in Palm desert, which I'll end in Palm Springs. So,

The bus will pick me up at home. Cunty. That's what I've just figured out. That's cunty. People think a bus. I go, yes, it's the best thing because you don't have to travel. You have to fly. So I start there and then we do all of it. And then we end up back in Palm Springs. So for all ticket information, you can go to the Bianca Del Rio dot com.

Which is, and you are on socials at Bianca Del Rio. Yeah, it's always the Bianca Del Rio. There's a whole nother story. Not a Bianca Del Rio. No, there's a girl that has the same name in Florida. Oh, fuck her. Oh, girl, imagine the hate mail that cunt gets. Well, from the bottom of mine and Lady Bunny's hearts, we both hope that that bus crashes right away. But then I can make a comeback because remember Gloria Estefan had that bus crash.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. No, she came back with Standing in the Dark. Remember that song that she was staying there? Well, girl, we could just take that airline now. Was it United where the doors fly open? Can you imagine? No, really. Did you hear about that plane that just flew open with the door? I saw the picture. I thought it was fake. No, it's real. A baby almost flew out, but it didn't. But I'm going to ask you this. Have you ever been on the plane where you've been fucked up or drunk and you just look at that emergency exit and you're just thinking to yourself, I'm going to go push it.

I've done it. I've been in my brain where I sit there sometimes and I'm just like, it's that devil-y side of me that just goes, do it. It's the subway. You have to push somebody on the tracks. The train's coming and you're like, I could just push her. She tripped. Let's do a whole series where we just go and do that to people. You do me first, then I'll do you. Okay, great. Let's do it. Let's do it. Thank you so much, Ruby. And thank you for the onesie. I'm keeping it. You can keep it. Honestly, you're so fabulous. Thank you so much for coming. Oh, please thank you for having me. It's good to see you. Good luck on Break a Leg on Tour. Thank you. I plan to. I appreciate it. Good to see you, Kyle. All right.

Bye.