The talkSPORT Christmas Dinner
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Merry Christmas and welcome to the Talks for Christmas dinner. Marcel, Alan Brazil, Siobhan, Jason and Gabby. How are we? Merry Christmas everyone. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas guys. We should say a little... Al, you've not got a hat on yet. I can't get a hat on. Al, try. I can't. I need a red sack to get on. Siobhan, I'll try and get the hat on.

I will try, but there's no chance. I went to Paris, didn't I, for the Adler Triumph. Couldn't get a motorbike on, the motor taxi. It'll be fine, mate. You could get a motorbike on your house. It'll be fine. It'll be fine, mate. Well, you can't get yours on. I can't, mate. So what's happening now?

It's a bit of Christmas cheer. Yeah, but you've got to work tonight. How are you going to do it? Don't worry about me, Al. I'm out of the school of Alan Brazil. I've got a couple of drinks. Gabby, you've got to... He's got to work tonight. I'm not worried about him, but you've got to work tomorrow. I've took it off already, mate. What? I've took it off. No, you haven't. No, you haven't. I have. No, you've not. Don't tell me I'm working with Dino. Siobhan, you're on tomorrow. I'm going to be getting the kids in about a couple of hours. What?!

Do you know what? Not in that big S-class Merc, you know, after that. Jamie Ahern's got it sorted. Big old daddy Santa Claus. He does everything else, doesn't he? Do you know what I mean, Elle? He's on Santa's good list for getting the kids through school. Don't you think it's important to enjoy Christmas and do things like we're doing today? Enjoy it. Yeah, but I'm normally... I'm like, well... You're what? I was going to say I'm like Shaban, we've got kids galore.

When I had my Christmas dinner, there was 13 of us round there. That's nice. Where do you send your kids out Christmas day? You don't like them, do you? I have to go around the country and see the kids. It doesn't matter. I'm everywhere. Your kids have grown up. What's the first thing you do, Al? Wake up, Al's eyes open. LAUGHTER

first he's done yeah yeah bubbles absolutely yeah well got to yeah and then what yeah we probably have a little walk but i'm struggling now your knees are gone mines are gone a little hot so i'm a hobble around the garden you got a sledge what are you getting jill what's the lucky jill getting this jill doesn't want anything no she's that's not what you asked now no no no no no i'm telling you now i said so just the other day i said right what do you want

Do you want something? Do you want some clothes? Yeah. Do you want some money? Do you want something from a jeweller's? She went, money. So what are you getting her? Would you wrap the money up, Al? I'm not telling her. Some money and wrap it up? No, no, no, no. No, no, no. Actually, if I say money, she just takes it. She's got all the money. I have an idea. She just takes it out of my account. Why don't you get in a bath, chuck out a load of money? I have not been in a bath for ages. My nickname's Spider. I can't get out of it.

I'm getting alright but I can't get out.

I'm a shower man. Do you have a seat in the shower? No, I'm not there yet, but trust me, the way my knees are going, I will be soon. Next year? No, Christmas is a great day. Who cooks in the house? Oh, Jill's the best. The kids try and say, I'll do it this year. I'm like, no, no, no, leave it to your mum. What about you? What do you do in the kitchen? I can imagine this. Here we go. I'm the maitre d'. You are? Yeah.

Me today, yeah. But this Christmas Day, we've got, because my daughter's going, my oldest daughter's going to her kids, her husband's family down in Surrey. So I've got my middle one and I don't know where the youngest is going. She might be around as well, but we normally have a load. But Boxing Day, we are chocker.

We are full house. So you host Boxing Day as well as Christmas? Yeah, but Boxing Day is the big one. And what do you do Boxing Day? What do you do? Specifically you, what do you do? I don't cook nothing, no, no, no, no. What do you do? No, I don't do a lot, to be honest. At least you're honest. I get up and just get on the latch, to be honest. I might have a look at the racing, place a few little wages before I get too hammered. And celebrate

Right guys, as we wait for drinks, shall we?

Shall we? Al, can we go ladies first please? I'm only... I'm not... yeah. We'll go first please. You ready? Thanks Gav. You ready? No, do this, grab the base. 3, 2, 1. Go out. Oh, ow. Ow. I never win a crack at that. So there must be a message in there. Al, I'll tell you what, I'll give that to you mate. I used to get them Harrods crackers and all that and Selfridges. Alright then, go on in Germain. We've got a message here. Go on Germain, read it out. This is a good question for the old dinner table at all of your homes.

Gabby, let's start with you. What were footballers' Christmas parties like? Tell the truth. Christmas parties were normally like late November because of the busy schedule in December, but they were carnage. Fancy dress? Yes. One day in our Christmas party, we went to Winter Wonderland in London. High park. I dressed up as Chris Eubank Jr. So I was absolutely freezing cold.

Chris Eubank not Junior because that was a few years ago Chris Eubank Junior

Well, he would be ages with Chris Eubank Jr. Yeah, he's similar age to me, Chris Eubank Jr. Yeah, but where did he beat then? Nobody. Yeah, but it was more like, you know, we look similar, similar. Do you know what I mean? That's why. You don't look similar. God, thank. Can I finish? Anyway, I had the boots on, I had the shorts on, I had, like, this, like, silk robe in early December. I was just doing, like, boxing through, like, through Winter Wonderland. Honestly, everyone was looking at me like, this guy is an absolute nutter.

But I don't know, it comes to my mind of doing it, and then when it comes to the day of doing it, I was like, what am I doing? But the party before was carnage. What about after? As always, couldn't it? No, no, after. Tell me about after.

Oh, I just went and grabbed a Chinese and went to bed. What else would there be? What about you, Cundey? You old school players. I want to know. Hold on, hold on. So you're in the Midlands, you're at Villa. Why have you come to London? Yeah, exactly. Why have you come to that London? Everyone went to London. Why? Because London's the best city. Right, OK. I've got to get here, right?

Speak of that, couldn't it? What's the one thing you want to happen in the sporting world in 2025? What do you want to see, Al? What do you want to see? What about Scotland? No, you want to see Fury taking on AJ, probably. Yeah? Don't you? What about Scotland? Scotland... Are you going to stop embarrassing the British Isles? When's that going to... Scotland, I would like... What would I like? Well, we'd get more chance of winning anything that you have. What do you mean, you? Well, Scotland.

You go back to 1966. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's about time you won something, isn't it? What about Scotland? Don't bring England in now. I've just said Scotland have as much chance of winning the World Cup as you have. England. Yeah. You think I'm joking? You think so? Yeah. Scotland are miles away, Al. You're miles off it, matey. You are. You know it. We're a better rugby team than you now. Is that right? Yeah. Cheers, Dave. Thank you, Emma. Thank you, Daisy.

Thank you, management. Scotland, what would I like Scotland to do? Prosper is what I'd like. It's all doom and gloom up there, isn't it? We need competition in the football. Celtic are going to run away with it again, aren't they? Rangers are pants. Does it disappoint you, the fact that it's so easy up there? No, it does disappoint me. You know my allegiances are. Yeah.

But Rangers are just, at the moment, there's something badly, badly wrong. Is it not a good thing, Al, though, that Aberdeen are up there and considered to finish second? Does that not mean them? Yeah, will they finish second? I'm not so sure. Really? And the Hibs and Hearts are, forget it, they want to start playing rugby. Edinburgh, there's no challenge at all now from Edinburgh. It's not good at all. What about Celtic and Rangers? Celtic and Rangers?

join the Premier League in 2025 It's not going to happen Turkey's voting for Christmas If you were the chairman of a Premier League in England would you allow Celtic Rangers to come in? It's like putting Barnsley in there

Well, it's like... Oh, that's hard. That's not great. How many people do well in the Premier League? No, they wouldn't. They wouldn't. No, they wouldn't. Oh. They wouldn't. Really? No, they wouldn't. Jason, you've watched them in the Champions League this season. No, they wouldn't. They wouldn't. No, honestly. So, Liverpool have won one Premier League title in the last 30 years. And what I've seen winning it. One.

What makes you think Celtic could do anything? You tell me we couldn't give Wolves a game or Ipswich a game. No, no. Yeah, we could. No, no. Yeah, but you're not getting that much money. You're getting the Premier and the much money we get in the SPL. We get Zeta, it's peanuts. What are you saying, Cundey? You reckon Celtic would get less points than Derby?

I think Celtic would be bottom half at very best. Oh, I'm not sure. No, I'm not. Even if they stay there 15 years, bottom half. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Once the money accumulates, maybe. You know what, though, mate? Leeds got relegated. Leeds got relegated. Yeah, but Celtic beat Leeds home and away. Well done. I think teams will struggle. Rangers beat Leeds. I think teams will struggle without atmosphere at Celtic Park. I've been lucky enough to go to a game...

I think they'll struggle, mate. I think Chelsea will struggle there, that atmosphere. No, they wouldn't. Do you not think it would be excellent, though, like Chelsea against Celtic on a Saturday afternoon at Parkhead? It's fine, but just roll them over, wouldn't we? They would. Villa go up there, three points. Chelsea go up there, three points. I don't know, you know. Arsenal go up there, three points.

See, you're getting lazy. That's lazy. He's got a green hat on as well. Green hat on. Take his hat off him, Alan. This debate goes on about Celtic and Rangers coming down. The truth is, massive clubs in the Premier League have never won it. Leeds have never won the Premier League. When you say massive clubs...

Are you saying Celtic Rangers are not massive clubs? Around the world? Big clubs in Glasgow. I would suggest Celtic Rangers are as big as West Ham, big as Chelsea, if not bigger. Around the world. Well, big club in Rangers. Big club in Glasgow, that's it. They've got a big fan base. Big fan base in Glasgow. You could go anywhere in the world. Anywhere in the world. No, but you can't compete. Spurs have never won the Premier League. You can with money.

You can have money. What about Spurs? Spurs have got money. Spurs have got money but Spurs are Spurs. And again, they haven't won it. I'm not saying that Celtic and Rangers can come down to the Premier League and win it. No, but they compete. I'm just saying they can't compete. Compete? Yeah. Not win it, right? We're going to beat Villa in the Champions League. Don't worry about that. I'd love to see that. And Man United. What about them? Rangers have got to play them as well.

Oh really? Yeah, oh yeah Who do you cheer on now? Rangers or United? Who do you want to win that one? United On that note I think it's time for some dinner Oh lovely How was that?

Oh, it was lovely. Siobhan's was lovely, I think. Siobhan, you have sounded lovely, I know that. Siobhan, Siobhan. You don't need to watch this later. We're working here. I'm a pinot, please, pinot. Lovely. Thank you. I'm blacked out. Thank you. What soup was it? You can't do something on me. I don't know why. You have to try it. Thank you. How can you not do savannah? I've tried it, that's why I can't do it. It's the most normal way to help. At the end of the night, mate, you'll... No, I won't be. No? I'm Gavi, a pinot, mate. Right. Want some ice?

No, no. Do you like the Sancerre? No, I'm good. Thank you very much. Sancerre is nice. Sancerre. Oh, I call it Sancerre. Sancerre. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you, Kennedy. Shabby's all right? Shabby's all right. Thank you very much. Thank you. No problem. Shabby's lovely. Gabby's nice. I do like a bit of bubbly in the morning. Not in the morning. The truth's coming out.

it's christmas day out christmas day first thing you do anything yeah we've done this i do get a bit of bubble nothing all that way yeah absolutely is it really the first thing you would come downstairs and open yeah yeah of course but our new year's and new year's day but after new year's eve can we rewind to when you were younger and your kids were really young and they got you up at like

5.36pm Did you get up with them on Christmas morning? That's probably Was I there or was I away playing football? You wasn't there on Christmas? You what? No I'd get up with them of course I would

But that's what I hate about Christmas, when they've got up so early and then it's eight o'clock, all the presents are open and you start feeling tired. I do it now. My grandkids, I've got four granddaughters and one little grandson. Do they stay over Christmas Eve? Not this year, but they do sometimes. I'll be down there watching. That's the best thing about it. They're all scrambling under the tree. But they're very polite. They're lovely kids. I'm very lucky. How many have you got now?

Five grandkids. Lovely. That's sweet. Yeah, lovely. You have to spend more time with your grandkids than you did with your kids. I do. I was round there yesterday. You didn't spend enough time with your kids. Well, you were shopping down the building. I was round there with my grandkids. He always says that to me. You've got to see your kids more. They don't see you. One of them started playing football on the plane. Yeah, I go there and watch. Jill, she takes a dog and...

I watch the kids, but I'm very wary because they've got coaches, haven't they? Right. You don't want to interfere, do you? No. You don't want to interfere. Do this, do that. No, you can't. You've just got to try and let them go on with it privately. The middle one was Royal Albert Hall the other night. In the choir and all. Brilliant. Lovely. Yeah, really good. Get that from you? I've got a voice, yes.

Can you sing now? Thank you. You've got to hit me with Rod a while ago. Yeah, I've got a voice. You want to sing now, Al? No. By the way, on a serious note, how do you see the second half going? It's been amazing. We've had some great games, haven't we? Loads of goals open.

Let me ask Jason this quickly, because we talk about it all the time. Playing out from the back, it's all right the teams that can do it. What about the teams that can't do it? They all do it, Al. Al, they all do it. The goals they give away. So it's a pandemic. They all do it. Everyone's infected by it. They all want to play out from the back. Even the teams that can't do it, they all play out. I've seen videos of kids under eight doing it.

So it's the way football's going, Al. What about this one, then? Young kids, right? Young kids now, eight, nine-year-olds on the pitch, talk to the mate, cover him in the mouth. Why does everyone do that? I mean, surely it's not that much of a secret. I know, but you know what happens now with the Shaband? I'm going to say something to Al. Can you believe it? I'm going to say something to Al about you, right? Yeah.

She's really fat. No, she's not. She's in everyone's waistline. See, Shaban, Shaban, you didn't see what I said there. Yeah, but it's football. I mean, it can't be anything untoward that's happening on the football field, can it? Oh, it can. The referees are... Yeah, of course it can. And also tactics, Shaban. But, say now we're halfway through the season, what do you think for the next half of the season? Me, personally, I see it as...

Liverpool, City, Arsenal, Chelsea. That's who I think is going to finish. Chelsea won't get top four. Chelsea won't get top four. No, Chelsea aren't in the title race. No, I'm saying that's how they finish. The top four for me will be Liverpool, City, Arsenal, Chelsea. City will have a little run. I don't think Villa get top four. I think United get top four. What? What? That no more drink. Manchester United? No.

No. I think they can get into a hat. Siobhan, if they're a ladder, they couldn't get in the top four. No, no, no. City are dropping points. Forest will fall away. Aston Villa have stepped their... Chelsea will get their... I'm not ruling Chelsea out of this whole point. No, I agree. But I also think...

things can change. Actually, that's your husband, Tom. It's not my husband. He is. Listen. That's not you, Shaman. I think Manchester... Listen, teams will drop points all the time and it can only be beneficial for Manchester United. Don't get me wrong. So they're not going to drop any? I just don't think it's possible. I bet you feel the Chelsea top four, you feel... What, the Chelsea?

Chelsea got a chance. Good team, mate. 100% got a chance. What do you make of Spurs? Here we go. What do you make of Spurs? Oh, Spurs. They're just Spurs. Brilliant against City, weren't they? How? They're just Spurs. Brilliant against Villa. Was it Villa? I know, but they're just Spurs, Al. Man City. They're Spurs. Never forget the Spurs. Tell me the chef he is a Spurs fan. They're just Spurs, mate. MUSIC

Oh, lovely. Oh, look at that. Thank you very much. Thank you. Enjoy. Thank you. This looks nice. Well, I've tried it. Amazing. What a chef you have. Enjoy. Thank you. Can I have a little bit of pepper, please?

- Can I have some salt and pepper please? - Do women not get Yorkshires? - No, no, no. - I didn't get a Yorkshire but all the guys got a Yorkshire. I really do think, Al, that when she says she doesn't want anything, it screams get me something nice. - Yes, agreed. - Like what? - Like, just a nice gift. - I think we've got to come up with a present for Jill, you know. - She deserves it. - I'm thinking a car seat or something like that, but she doesn't want it.

I think he spoke to me about it. He likes to pretend that he's this hard man, but he spoke to me about it and he said, "What do you think?" And he said he's going to get her a bracelet, a card-shaped bracelet. I said, "That's lovely." Maybe. What's now? Just get it, though. Come on out. It's not my thought. She'd rather give the dough to her kids and grandkids. No. Why don't you just make her breakfast? A wee early breakfast, a cup of tea. I did the other day, actually. The first time in ages. What did you do? Baking sandwich in a tatty scone.

You made that? Oh, for God's sake, you just get the frying pan out, do you? What did she say? Lob a bit of butter in and away you go. What did she say? She said they fell over. I would be surprised as well. Then they fell over. But there you go. I do have good thoughts. Good thoughts? I've said to her, I've said, what do you want? She went, I don't know.

Same as last year. Now, we have secrets, aren't we? Yeah. Lovely. We have secrets, aren't we? No, I think Siobhan's right. I think Jill was saying I don't want nothing. I think there's a secret message in there. Because my kids are all old now. I'm sick of giving them loads as well. They're done this year. I think she merits a nice little token gesture. I love you. Merry Christmas. Siobhan, don't you think that we should... Show me your wristband. Where's your jewelry? I don't know. What about me?

I'll be fine. But Alan. Show me. Show me what? What do you want to see? I think it's more about the thought, though, if you've gone through a good thought about getting a present. Don't you think, Siobhan? It's not about the present. It's like... Husband of the year here. Eh? Husband of the year.

Look at Redrude. He's like the Chunk and Dino, aren't they? You know, they're twinning. Why am I watching this Christmas day on their own? You know, it's unbelievable. You're such a shamer. You're such a divorcee dad shamer over here. Why are you watching on your own? Get her a Christmas present and that be that. Yes. You'll thank me? Yeah. Candle, perfume? You should, mate.

Get an Amazon. You've got an Amazon Prime account. You've got that? I don't have any accounts. She's got them all. I just do as I'm told. You can't dip in? Do you want me to tell you what? I'll buy you a present. What would you get, Joe? I don't know. I've got Amazon Prime. Shall I have a look now? No, no, I use WeShop. I don't do Amazon Prime. Who's WeShop? Ah, so you don't know about it? He's probably on Ocado. No, no, no. WeShop's brilliant. What's WeShop? They're about to float in the first quarter next year.

Condi, what about some vouchers or something for like a spa day? I know what I'm getting at. It's a surprise. How can I say it in front of the cameras? I'm sure she'd be cheering on you. Would you like that, a voucher for a spa day in May or something? I'd love a spa day. Would you like that? See? Yeah, I'd love a spa day. Look, vouchers, mate. Keep it simple. Gappy, when I need advice over you about women and Christmas presents...

I'll be ready to push up the daisies. Give us a break. What were you getting then? Sorry, we just cut. Sorry. Perfect timing.

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A-U-R-A dot com slash safety. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details. Another cracker. Yeah, another cracker. Come on, you two. Let me win one. I'm going to let you have it, though. What was it like being a footballer over the Christmas period? Was it hard for you to not enjoy the festivities, Alan? Me? No, because we're used to it.

Not a problem, was it? That was your job. You got on with it. Yeah, but didn't part of you, because it did for me, part of you think like...

Everyone's enjoying Christmas Day. No, not at all. You're going to train. No, I didn't. I enjoy myself now. I'm telling you now, not then. I did enjoy it, but that was my job. You had to play. And you had to play Saturday or Monday. Didn't we? Easter, all the way. Villa, for instance, right? I've got Newcastle away on Boxing Day. I used to always check the fixtures for Boxing Day. And if you have Newcastle away, you're like, oh, we're going to have to leave...

early on Christmas day maybe. It's like Christmas day in a hotel, horrible. Yeah but you can't wait to go to the house can you? But Gav what about this one? You've had a few days where everyone you're like, oh god. Nah the kids. Go on, go on. Gav what about though,

New Year's Eve when you're in a hotel and there's a party going on down all the lads used to go downstairs Sit down No, no, you know you sneak out for a coffee We go down for coffees and like the gaffer would say like alright 7:30 get to bed all the years up because they'll be all sorts of parties mate wouldn't there and I

arms and legs everywhere. About half eleven. You'd be sensible. You're fit as a fiddle in those days. Have a couple before the game. Out, out, out. What? Just to check out. What? About half eleven, quarter twelve at night on New Year's Eve. There's a couple of stragglers. There is one.

Because them hotel bedrooms, they're lonely places. Get me a fake Arby's hand. I play football. Oh, there were some rascals. Used to go up to all sorts. Really? I wasn't one of them, but there were some rascals there. I know a playwright at Villa. I would sit in a cup of glass of wine and see the new year in and get my head down. I know a player, Al. Normal part of the season. Wasn't involved, was getting a bit annoyed, was on his way out.

Stayed in a hotel in the city centre. We always stayed in a hotel, Martin O'Neill, before a game. Scandinavian, by any chance? No. You've told me this story. I don't know exactly who you're talking about. Bottom floor of the hotel. You could open the windows and you could, like, at least you'd jump out the window and you'd be fine. Bottom floor. He used to come with a bag, different outfit, get changed. We'd be playing cards, he'd be like, I've got to go.

Go, get changed, go out, come back through the window. No one ever found out. Do you think it still happens now? No, no, no. They're professionals now, but I was just like, you're a brave guy. Well, well... I'm not sure about Championship Division 1, Division 2. You don't think so? No. I reckon it still happens. I'd be so paranoid that night out. I'm thinking about people jumping in. I've got the other way. You could do it. Well, you take a couple of bottles of wine...

Right, you're taller by getting her up like that, weren't you? But you know back then, Cundey, there was no social media, you'd get away with it, camera phones weren't as good. Now, Zoom, what are you doing out tonight? Boom, all over Twitter. Can't do it. No, you can't. Would the managers be hot on it back in the day? Some of the managers were at it. They were at it. Some of the managers were at it, don't worry about that. Like who? Can you give us names? Oh, no, no, no. No, I couldn't. Do you know what Paul Lambert said to us?

No, no, he come in right, he come into Villa and first thing he says was on our first trip, he was looking at an away game. "Any of yous try sneaking into your rooms, anything, I'm going to phone your partners and I'm going to sack you." Just said straight away, "Don't try it."

So everyone was like, ooh. What would be more worrying, phoning the partner or being sacked? Phoning the partner. But it was like... Don't get called, Gab. Just don't get called. He was just on it straight away. Just don't get called. He was on it straight away. Not that anyone had done it before. He was just like, just so you know, don't make this mistake. Some of the managers are like... Oh, of course. ...doing the same thing. Yes, there was back then. You see them go to the bar and there's a radio box up and all of a sudden it's... Is that over there? They just...

Off we go. Oh, yeah. There's that one over there. Was that one over there? Yeah, but... God. No, those were the good old days. Come on. Nowadays, it's so... Can't wait for the away game. Nowadays, it's so serious. It still happens. It still happens. Come on, let's not act like we're all waiting. I remember MC's Bobby Robson said to us once, he said,

We had a bad run. On the road, we couldn't win. We were getting beat every time. We were drawn and we couldn't win. That's it. No more wine on the bus, right? You're barred. Were you proud? No, no. You just went out and bought a bigger toilet bag. Had a few shorts in there. And then there was one of our players, the goalkeeper, his old man had a pub up not too far from you. At the end of the game, he was always there with a box.

Oh yeah, sneak that on. A box of wine? All sorts. You wouldn't drink that now. That wine? No, no, no, not a box full of bevy. In those days it was Black Tower and Leafs Emulsion and all that. Oh, Jesus.

It was so different back then though. I remember we used to drop him every away game around London. We'd drop him, Martin O'Neill, all the way to the service station. Didn't matter he was out of our way on the coach. His car was ready, the driver.

And then the assistant sometimes would be like, "Martin's gone." - "Robble." - "Yes, let's get the cigarettes out." - On the coach. - "Cigarettes!" - "X Factor's on." - "Robble, robble." "X Factor's on. Happy days. Beers are out. Let's go party." When you come down, right, to play in London on a Saturday afternoon, you boys must have been sorting all sorts out. Mate, it was like, down on a Friday, we'd get to the hotel and we'd be like, "All right, gonna go into London, gonna have a little look around, shopping or whatever, have a look around." Then Saturday,

Half the team will stay down after the game. Party time. Showing our weights. Party time, yeah. Party time, West End. Spot. Say again, what's what? Spot. There'll be like Liberty and there'll be tape. There'll be all these clubs in the West End. Where you used to always go, Mayflower. Me? Don't panic. That's what these guys, Mayflower. See, Gabby, you can't even get the name right.

Butterflies. I did not go. No, no, the Mayfair butterflies, they'd love to do it. Oh, God. MUSIC PLAYS

Oh guys, doesn't this look lovely? Compliments to the chef. Thank you. - It looks amazing, yes. Looking forward to it. - Have you met the chef? - All right, chaps! - All right, chef. - The naked chef! - You enjoyed? - Jesus, man. I thought it was Jamie Oliver. - I cooked for you, mate. - I thought it was Jamie Oliver. - Not the next best thing. Not Jamie Oliver, but we got Mr. O'Hara. - What's going on, mate? - I don't know. - What are you doing?

Well, I'm not touch, man, yet, and I'm not sure I want it. Yeah, I'm not sure, mate. Jamie, pull up a pew. Come and join us. Yes, please. Come on, come on, O'Hara. Tell me you've got fed. I'm risking this. Jamie, he's got pigs in blanket. I haven't got any. When did you put the stuff in there? Last Tuesday. No, not pigs in blanket. When Big Al, I heard Big Al was in, I had to get some extra orders in, but we made sure that we got the wine flowing.

Fair enough, you're right. Come and join us, mate. Can I sit down? What are you doing here? Come and join us, mate. You got a glass of wine or you got a banquet tonight? Where am I going? Come to the middle, mate. Let me try some of this. What are you like? Can you cook for a people? You normally cook for yourself, don't you? Oh, sorry, Gav. Move up, move up. You had a good... Obviously, you were in here before.

With someone from Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood times. Shut up you guys.

I've been here before. I've had to get a job. It's been a big year for you, Jamie. Thank you very much. It's always nice to see you. It's always nice to see you. Not so much, Hal, but... Thanks for dinner. That was it. Thank you. Where's my champagne? Where's my champagne? What's he doing? What's he doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing? Have you cooked this? I cooked this for you lads. I cooked this. Did you? It was nice. It's alright. Al, eat up. Eat up. Eat up, Al. I'm going to chew it up like I was meant to do this ago. Come on. I know you don't get fed at home. What are you doing here?

It's true though, isn't it? What's he doing here? He finished the show, couldn't he? No one even knows who he is. Who is this? He's just pumped himself on the end. Has he worked for Tug Sport? Jamie, I know we're cutting back at Tug Sport. We're cutting back at Tug Sport. We can't do this, man. It must be bad. Oh, man, I've got tears. He's had him right, no? He can't get the picket in. Yeah, they couldn't come. They couldn't come. How quickly is he in? LAUGHTER

He looks like he's won a competition to be here. He sat here three hours.

How are you mate? You good? Living a dream, I miss you. I haven't seen you for a while. He was slagging off the other night. Well, it's easy to do. It doesn't matter. You're not tired on us yet, are you? It's alright, so you're still hanging in there. How are the boys anyway? How's Ali? What's he up to? Old MBE? He's alright. Is he good? Yeah, looking for another job, but he's fine, yeah. Looking for another job? What's he lost? No, he's got a living, he wants 12. LAUGHTER

He's got a lot of jobs, hasn't he? He's fine. Yeah? Yeah, really good. Was you talking about Christmas, being a footballer? Have you had that chat? Yeah. I heard you talking about it. I love that. Do you remember when I first met you? You won't remember this, because I'll remember it, but you'll never remember anything. When I first started doing the show, right, I'll never forget it. It was around Christmas time. You know how everyone takes it off around Christmas? Yeah. I was just starting to talk sport, and you say yes to everything, didn't you? Of course. You know the deal, Shaban. You're still doing it.

Coming from the bag man. Anyway, so... She's getting a bit lippy with a few drinks. I love her, she knows I'm joking. So, I was doing the show, it was Natalie Sawyer and Jim White. Anyway, so I've come in and I said to him, yeah, I'll do a show with Al, no problem, I'll get in early, I'll make sure I'm there. So, they put me up in a hotel to make sure I didn't miss the show. Six o'clock start, I'm expecting to come in, Al be there, ready to go.

I've gone out, done an all-nighter, as I did back in the day. And I've ended up getting a tuk-tuk straight to the office. So I've got a tuk-tuk straight to the office. I've gone upstairs. Al's not there.

Five to six, nowhere to be seen. Al's not in. I'm thinking, "Here we go. I'm doing a show. I've got done straight into the office, straight after all night." He walks in, five past six, the music's going off, ready to go, sits down with a paper in hand. I said, "Al, help me out here." I said, "Look, I've had a long night. You know, don't... I might be struggling for the first hour of the show." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll look after you. No problem." You know, does a big morning, a big house, big breakfast. "Oh, yeah, good morning. Yeah, bang!" And all that.

James, how are you? Have a good night, James. I'm like, kill me, bury me, first show I've done with him. I'm told the figures were good. That's when you know you're a fan, because Al loves people who go out on...

Yeah, I know. Well, have a good time. You have to avoid that, don't you? We all end up avoiding that one. Because after 10 o'clock, when the show's finished, he puts the feelers out at about 8am, don't he, Gabs? And he used to put the feelers out, "Cut the beers, busy after, what we doing?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll have a drink now." We go over, as soon as the whistle goes, 10 o'clock, out we come, straight to the London Bridge. We sit down, five Peronis. I went, "Who's joining us?" They went, "No, one for you, four for me."

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- Were you a good player, Al? - I was all right, yeah. - Was he top draw? Everyone says you were top draw. - I was a good finisher. - Was you? You sent me a goal the other day, didn't you? Very good goal. - When someone sent it to me, I was like, "Whoa!" - Black and white it was, but I could see it. - Oh, you see it, though? - Against Man City, yeah. - He sort of waited for the defender to try and block it, but took a little extra touch and then bang in the corner. Great goal. - Bang! - Bang! - Bang! - Well, I did have my day.

Would you like a...

- Goal hanger? - No. - So you ran the channels and stuff? - No, he was the number nine. - Number ten. - Did he run the channels? - I used to watch Al. This is the thing, right? You two, three, I used to watch Al as a young kid. - Okay. - I used to watch Al. - Aren't you similar age? - I remember playing at... - I remember playing at... - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm joking. - Sorry. - Ooh, that's a picture, Jamie. - I remember playing at Stamford Bridge. - Huh? - Before you went down, Chelsea. - That can't be you, mate.

You've grown a whole other body. Did you score five goals or is that a wave? What is that? That was five goals. That was an eye-and-eye. Let me recollect, 16th February, yes. Keegan Shannon, Ball, Southampton, top of the table. We were fourth, we'd done them 5-2. And by the way, you're in shape there. You look good there, Al. I was in shape. You look fit. Well, you're 65, going on 66. Yeah.

Do you want to get in that chef's outfit? It's mild, isn't it? I don't think you get enough respect for being the footballer that you are. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I don't care. Do you know what? He doesn't because people remember Al through being radioed, but I remember because I'm older than you kids. I used to watch Al. At Maynard. No, no, no. At Spurs. At Maynard. But I used to collect Al's... I used to have the stickers...

Panini. Panini. Hair bear bunch. Right. Yeah, but it was always going here. There was lots around the edge. Correct. Lots around the edge. I've seen Gabby with one of them. Michael Jackson. Gabby, did you ever have it? Was it Janet? I've been bald since I was born.

It wouldn't grow did you watch Alan when Aston Villa won the European Cup that season you watch that season? Yeah, remember that okay? You hate to bring it up Don't get you out. Don't get to me, but I just like for the camera's sake We beat them home and away put my road and I knocked him out the cup. I

So as far as I was concerned, we won the year for Gopman 81 and we were the champions of Europe in 82 as well. Ooh. Well, we gobbed you three times for God's sake. Because they were concentrating on the Champions League with us. Gaps, Gaps. You weren't even born, mate. No, it's not...

By the way, I go and watch Villa more than you do now. We've won it. 86, but we've won it. What year were you born? 81. What year were you born? You're not born in 81. You're the same age as me. But we've won it. You're born in 86. Spurs haven't won it. You can't go digging out Big Al for that. You won't even

You weren't even bottom there. Arsenal haven't won it. We were talking about this last night. Arsenal haven't won the Champions League. Get Spurs. Honestly, Spurs. Spurs haven't won it. Honestly. They're so funny. Honestly, Spurs. Whenever you talk about winning anything, you go, Spurs. Everyone laughs. 84, you fuck up. Yeah, I see.

Yeah, yeah. Won it? Yeah. Yeah. Then what? Chase, listen to me. Then what? I think Mr Cundey's competition's over, innit? I have an idea. The competition's over for Cundey. Can we get the next competition winner in, please? Yes, Google it, and then let's do some presents. FELIZ NAVIDAD FELIZ NAVIDAD

Gabs, may you do the honours? OK, so we've got the presents, OK then? OK, so... What have you got for me? Shabab, have you got...? Yeah, Shabab, that's from everyone at Talksport. Everyone at Talksport? What are you live for? You've got that for yourself, didn't you? Did you pick this out? Let's see what it is, Shabab. It's a word title, it'd be brilliant. I've got ladders everywhere. Hey, John, what's that? LAUGHTER

That's unacceptable. Are you Welsh as well? No. Open it, Siobhan. What is it, a Wales flag? Open it, Siobhan. Dino was in charge of presents. My sister's team, Republic of Ireland, play Wales in the play-off to get to the Euros and I've been given a Wales flag. You've got to wear it as well. That's outrageous.

You can't throw the Wales flag. Disgusting. Put it on. Jason, there you go mate. A Wales scarf. There you go, Jase. Open up for us. What's he got? Is that his P-45 in there? Hopefully it's his P-45. Hopefully it's your brain.

- It's definitely not a new contract. - He's been rolled into 20 years. - He just keeps turning up, I don't know who he is. - What's the contract? What's that? - Oh, here you go, look. - What have you got? - I don't know. - It's got a top and a mug. - Don't break it! Take it out. And candy!

- He's broken the Tottenham mug. - You're a Tottenham mug. - All right, you go mate. - Oh look, I'm really annoyed at that. That's out of order. - No, I'm not having that. - I'm gonna take that home. - No. - Can't you pay for them though, what's the problem? - I don't care, they're just spurs.

USA visa Chelsea mug whatever the table

No, don't, don't, you're a brain table. No, no, no. No, no. Jay, Jay, Jay, thing is, right? Oh, God. Here's the thing. Spurs don't know what it's like to have a cup in their hand. Here you go, Alan, mate. Enjoy, mate. Happy, happy Christmas, pal. Commentate now what we got here. This is a book. A book? It is a book. It's not your one, cos that was the worst seller. It could be a country life. Can't give him a book. He's given him a white one for the magazine. It's funny, cos Ali's is a top seller. Charlie's had a same.

A little Alan Brazil calendar. Alan, have you got a lot of books for sale? Excuse me, that was... That was loads, mate. What have you got in there? There's a thousand of them. You might have a peep box.

Who's that? Come on pal! Come on you snail! You're on in 20 minutes you two. Oh lovely racing pose. Yeah, yeah, that'll do me. Is that Cheltenham edition? Lovely job Lee. You should come down there boys. Why haven't you invited me?

Well, the budget's tight. Have I got to give this to you, Gab? Yeah, give it me. I'll give it to you. Have you got a racing post? Don't bother turning up to Cheltenham with him. Every time you go, he don't turn up. I'm working. You're never working down there. It's the best gig ever. I do radio, corporate, you name it. If one person hasn't got their present, can we... Who's not got the present? Can we? Me. Who's not got the present? Gabby. Merry Christmas, mate. Is that OK, Al?

Gabby, sorry, I didn't plan this. Come on, Gabby. Yes, I'll be on, thank you. You got a map. It's a book of banter. Oh, that's nice. The English dictionary. Who done that? Cos I'm Scottish, I need to learn English. I like that. Al, you got him that, didn't you? The dictionary. OK, there's a word here, 'all together'. OK, what does that mean?

Android, a robot with a human appearance. Thanks, mate. Thanks, Jamie. That is really good at maths. I'm good at maths, not English. You're good at maths. That's because you had to count that 70 grand a week contract every day. That's why I can't be a presenter, because I can't read. I was used to reading with pictures, but now you've got to read words. It's difficult, mate. MUSIC PLAYS

I love the sports bar by the way. I listen back every single morning on the app. You guys get the best callers and the most fun and these are absolutely... It's a great show me and Pennant isn't it? It's a good one that. Dean Saunders, when Dino's in I tell you what the figures go through the roof. Brilliant. The callers, everything.

Where are Dino? Now, you know what? It's been great. You know, with Cundie, we've had a good time, haven't we? Great fun. Still no-one knows that he's here. Great fun. We do a lot of...

you know bits and pieces of something and it is fun you do have a good time don't you? No you do, you do have a good time I heard as well since Goldstein left that the figures have gone higher I don't have a... I don't have a... Where you all dig at Goldstein? Who's Goldstein? I'm sorry! Ooh! Andy Goldstein Who's he? He used to do Sports Bar Reverb come the 18 years Was he any good? Do you know what? Here's the thing when I realised Right?

that sports bar is just trash. I saw Simon Jordan on his bike around Battersea, right? And this was about 18 months ago, and he's on his bike in Battersea, and I've gone past him in my car, so I went out the window down. I said, all right, Si? I said, all right, mate, how you doing? He said...

You said it's all sport. No, he didn't He said you're still at all still at all Simon John does not listen real they did 18 months ago There's one here blank check

It's like you, mate. You paid for stuff as well. A cheque with the amount left for the person, cash and goods to fill in. That's nice. Gabby buys a coffin, a croissant and a gun. He thinks he's bandied, given all the stuff. He's wasted all that £70,000 a week, innit? That's the problem. I know where they wasted it. Vegas and places like that. I saw him in Vegas once.

Come up to him and said, let's have a look at that bill. How much was it? Just 60 grand. No, it wasn't. Get it off. No chance, no chance. Honestly, throwing money away. Gabby, I meet people from Birmingham who tell me to catch you all the time. Really? Guys, what's your plans for the new year? Jason, any new year's resolutions?

No. I'm not going, Shabazz. I'm just trying to think of one. Just be yourself. No, don't be yourself. If I can lose, O'Hara will be good.

Great start. Somehow... You know when you walk down the road and you're stood in something and you're trying to wipe it off the bottom of your foot? That's what it's like working with Ian. Alan, any New Year's resolutions? I'll probably call it in. Gingerly. What do you mean call it down? Get out of here! No! No! Can we get some violins up in here? You never leave TalkSport.

You'll never leave Soxport, will you? Get rid of him. You can never, Alan. Oh, you'll never leave him, mate. No, you're not. Alan. You'll die before you do. You have to die, mate, he's right. Alan, if you mean that, Jamie's got a piece of paper for you to sign. Yeah, yeah, mate, sign this over, yeah? How are you going to do with your America? It's gone, you know.

Don't tell Cundie. Don't tell him. I can't wait. Jamie, what about you? Trump FM.

- You know, just- - Having fun. - Just keep having fun. - Yeah, absolutely. - Keep building the show. Just keep loving life. - Yes. - You know, just keep enjoying every day that comes. And try and find a new co-host. - Fair enough. - Capstar? - Just have fun, enjoy life. That's it. We're not here for long, as Alan always says. - Only here for a visit. - Quick visit. Let's enjoy the visit. - A good time. - Not a bad time. - What about you, Shabang? - Yeah, Shabang. - Do more housework and help out your husband? - What do you mean, do more housework, Vec? - He does it all.

This has been wonderful. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone. Cheers, guys. Keep it going. Cheers to the band. Well, I wish it could be Christmas And the kids start singing at the games to pass

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