FEED DROP: Introducing The Re-Slayer’s Take! Critical Role’s new, all ages, actual play podcast
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Hey, listeners, if you're looking for another great D&D podcast, check out Dungeons & Dragons. It's an improvised actual play comedic fantasy podcast that'll leave you laughing, crying, and rooting for every character you meet. If you ever wondered what D&D was all about, this podcast will make you feel like you're around the table with them, sharing the laughs, victories, and tears.

Russ, Amy, Tom, and Carla were all friends before they hit record and their chemistry really shines through. In Seasons 1 and 2, experienced players will love that the world is set in forgotten realms while new to D&D folks will love that Russ, Amy, Tom, and Carla add their own spin and lore while making a super fun time for everyone. The Dungeons & Dragons crew kicked off their latest campaign in January with a rousing musical number and starting with Season 3, you're entering a completely homebrew world with new characters, story, and it's the perfect place to start for new listeners.

With the characters starting at level 0, it's a perfect way for anyone curious about Dungeons & Dragons to dive in. Everything in the town and world is completely improvised by the DM, the players, and their listeners. The new season has very office space meets Robin Hood meets Three Stooges vibe. I think it's great. I think the quality of the episodes are great with the editing and the sound design. It's absolutely fantastic. I think it's a great show to jump into. Start listening to season 3. It's a perfect place to jump on board for new listeners. New episodes drop every Wednesday, Friday,

Find and listen to Dungeons & Dragons anywhere your favorite podcasts are found. We all have plans in life. Maybe to take a cross-country road trip or simply get through this workout without any back pain. Whether our plans are big, small, spontaneous, or years in the making, good health helps us accomplish them.

Hey there, stinkers. In case you missed it, we recently partnered up with the folks over at Critical Role to put Tales from the Stinky Dragon and our bonus show Second Wind on the platform Beacon.tv. The Critical Role crew has so many stories to share, but today we specifically want to focus on their epic understatement.

all-ages tabletop role-playing adventure the re-slayers take taking place in the fantasy world of exandria you'll be guided through the wild continent of isilra home to some of the most dangerous creatures here the slayers take is the most notorious hunting group in the realm but when this group's previously slain creatures start returning from the grave it's up to six misfit mercenaries to bend together and re-slay the supernatural threats as the re-slayers take

The party's led by duo game masters George Primavera and Nick Williams, with the main cast including Jasmine Bueller, Jasper William Cartwright, Caroline Lux, and Jasmine Chong. So, as a special treat, I want to share with you the first episode of The Reslayer's Take right now on our podcast feed. We hope you enjoy the story and like what you hear. You can listen to new episodes every Monday anywhere you stream podcasts or receive early ad-free access at beacon.tv. Now, let's begin the first episode of The Reslayer's Take.

We open on a chilly, misty morning in the Vesper Timberland as the citizens of the humble town of Himblewood begin preparing for their festive monthly market. The vibrant, lush woodland of the Vesper Timberland frames the town in a truly picturesque embrace. And soon, colorful tents and awnings are erected all along Himblewood's uneven cobblestone streets.

The plain hodgepodge of houses and shops are quickly accented with decorative streamers, gaudy signage, and flamboyant displays. And as noon rolls around, the market gets into full swing.

The air is filled with a variety of dazzling aromas. The smells of fruity frosted cakes, pungent stinky cheeses, and briny slimy fish mix in the air. And at the edge of a street band's captive crowd, we see a tall hooded figure looking shyly on. A figure we know as Frog. - Frog stands about six feet, 10 inches tall. Her body is humanoid in shape, but metallic in nature.

She's copper with gilded and ornate accents that now have taken on a greenish patina over time. To cover this up and blend in more, she wears a hooded poncho and belted high-waisted corduroy trousers.

When she's active, her eyes glow a dull blue, so she wears large, round spectacles to dim them. Across her back, she has a worn leather knapsack, which houses her most prized possession, a beat-up-looking journal where she jots down all her notes and discoveries. Frog, as you listen to the music, you feel a sharp tug on your clothing from behind. A small child with a little bit of snot bubbling at his nose exclaims, Music! Music!

Oh my goodness, I'm so, so sorry. If you had me your hat, will you up here and you could see from where I am? Roll a persuasion check. Seven. As you lean down, Frog, your spectacles fall down on your metallic nose, and the child's eyes go wide as he sees bright blue orbs shining into his own eyes. And he backs up, a little frightened, and then takes off back away through the crowd.

Oh, oh no. I'll put my glasses back on. I hope no one else notices.

Frog looks on to the band playing with excitement. She pulls out her journal and jots down the shapes of all the instruments. She's never seen something like this before. The band's song ends, there's a polite applause from the surrounding crowd, and then the crowd begins to disperse. As you wander on, Frog, you reach a small eatery with barrels stacked up behind a small counter, with a couple of chairs and tables spread out on the cobblestone main roads.

At a countertop, there is a hunched figure that seems to repel everyone else's presence. Even the shopkeep behind the counter mixing colorful beverages seems to avoid her gaze. Frog, it strikes you just how lonely this must be for someone to sit all alone on such a joyful day. Frog sits down next to them to offer some easy company. Turning to look at who has sat next to her, we see...

Farrah, a half-elven woman with silver hair. She sits tall and proud. Her worn, studded leather armor she no longer fills out suggests a life of adventure she has long left behind. Farrah pays no mind to the person that just sat next to her, despite their large frame. She continues to eat the food in front of her, concentrating on every bite. Uh, did you hear any of the music playing earlier? I don't like music. Oh, okay.

And Frog holds up her journal, showing a quick sketch that she had done of a guitar. She doesn't know what a guitar is. Farrah looks at Frog skeptically.

That's a guitar. A guitar! Wow, that's amazing! Thank you so, so much! That's so nice of you to share that information with me. I can't believe it. Guitar. Farrah pushes the unknown patron sitting to her right off their seat and sidles away from Frog. Farrah moves over, leaving a seat between her and Frog. Both of you make a perception check. 22.

Botch. Frog, as you stare joyfully ahead, Farrah scrutinizes your person. Farrah, you notice sticking out of the pocket of this enormous figure's corduroys is a familiar red-hued piece of parchment, one that you happen to have in your own pocket. You're a hunter? Are you talking to me? I just thought because you scooched away from me, so I thought maybe... And I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry. I just want to know what the red slip in your pocket is.

This is an invitation to join the Slayer's Take. And you see, I'm trying to learn as much as I can about the world around me and around all of us. And I thought that this might be a good chance for me to get out there and see new things so I can write them down and I can learn them and I can spread more information to the other people that might need it. I know things. Farrah, make an investigation check. Nat 20. Nat 20.

As you peer at this figure, you see a faint blue glow emanating from behind dark spectacles and a very shiny looking face. It would seem this person is in a full suit of armor, which you also deduce from the tinny nature of their voice, as if it's reverberating off of metallic walls. You're looking a little, uh, clammy. Clammy? Whoa. I'm gonna write that down.

At the fishmongers on the other side of the market, standing in front of an enormous and bizarrely colored swordfish on a bed of ice, we see... Edron Shadowstep. A young half-orc, half-elf, reaches forward with his left hand, on the back of which is a tattoo of the moon. On the back of his right hand, there is a corresponding tattoo of the sun. He wears matching gold earrings in both ears. He's wearing flowing robes in tones of reds, browns, and golds with a pattern that looks like fragments of a starry sky.

Then he brushes his hand to a satchel that sits at his left hip next to a dagger. He reaches in and finds a silver coin that rests between his clay-toned fingers and painted black nails, staring at this strange fish in front of him. Hi! You're Iron Old Bertha, is ya? I am. Well, Old Mickey Horselaf Tarlison caught Old Bertha just nigh on two days ago. I've been chasing that fish my entire life.

Only two gold pieces per pound. So you're saying that fish is as old as you are? Oh, yes. Even older than old horse laugh. And for a hundred gold, I'll give you the whole fish. What can I get for a silver piece? A silver piece? Don't make me horse laugh. Let me show you over to the bargain section.

I'll give you three or four for a silver. That would be perfect. If you dry it and prepare it properly, and then add a little bit of magic, anything can be delicious. Friend, with fish like this, a little bit of magic is all you need. So back to old Bertha. I was there, out on the lake, in my old tugboat, Christine. And I'd been fishing that hole for quite some time. Years, in fact.

Anyway, Bertha finally grabbed onto my hook, and my old Christine was dragged clear across the lake. So I hung on for dear life. But then, Christine hit a rock, and I was flung into the brownie lake itself. Edron takes a good, long look at this fish, wondering how this thing ended up in a lake. Edron, make a nature check.

Seven. This is an unfamiliar fish to you, but one thing that catches your eye is the iridescent green stripe that extends from snout to tail. It gleams like an opal. Edrin is listening to this strange, potentially delirious old man, but cannot take his eyes off that beautiful stripe. After a prolonged boxing match at the surface, I was victorious and arrived in town with my prize catcher.

Old Bertha! I must say, you are one of the strangest people I have ever met, but... you actually remind me of my mother a little bit. Oh!

Thank you, young man. She has done things that made no sense to me. I once saw her lift a boulder with her mind. It was astounding. So if a man can fight a fish and bring it to glory and, I guess, a market, anything is possible. Anything is possible. Now, please buy some old fish or get the heck out of here because there's paying customers waiting behind you.

Yes, of course. Edrian reaches into his satchel and pulls out the silver piece and hands it over and then picks up his three fish excitedly, grinning more from having been able to get a free story along with his dinner.

"Hey, kid! Take a crab on the house!" As the crab is flying through the air, Edryn looks back and then lets out a whistling sound, and a hawk comes and snatches the crab midair as it comes to land on Edryn's shoulder. "There you are. That was a very good catch. You're getting better at this." Edryn, you continue to gaze at the vast array of goods being hawked at the market today,

and a conversation being had by an old woman behind a table full of jewelry catches your ear. And you see, arguing with the elderly shopkeep, a tiefling woman. Tieflings look very much like humans, but their infernal bloodlines bestow upon them thick tails, horns, and a mouthful of sharp canine teeth. Hira Agnihart is a tiefling with an ochre complexion. She wears leather armor embossed with henna designs.

strapped over green, emerald green, and Prussian blue silks. She has water buffalo style horns that she ties with ribbons and peacock feathers. But I don't understand. Why?

Why would I pay you to steal my precious jewels? Because if you pay me to steal your jewels, then you'll know the deficiencies in your security system, thereby preventing further theft. Also, half of these jewels are fake. Okay, I want to come back to that, but first, to address your first point, security system...

A very ancient-looking parakeet sheds several feathers as the old woman pats the wing.

I think Isme's eyes may be going because they didn't catch me pocket these four gems. And Hira holds aloft four gems between her fingers. You are losing your touch, you old thing! Hira, make a deception check to try to pass off your own jewels as this old woman's.

19. Well, clearly I am in dire need of your services, young lady. Just show me where I sign. Coming up on Hera's side, lost in the shining of the gems, is Edron. What is happening here? Uh, just a business transaction between two parties. Yes, she stole my gems and now I'm paying her. Precisely so. Are you hungry? And Edron pulls out a fish that is raw. Uh.

Me? Hira hasn't eaten in days and is no longer in a position to turn her nose up at this food.

She takes the slimy fish, holding it between two fingers, and says, Thank you, you're very kind. My pleasure. And you? Would you like a fish? Oh no, I'm on a grain-only diet. I bet that's why you are preserved so well. Now if you just sign here with your quill, we can get you locked in for a five-year plan.

Done and done! What is your name? Hira. You'll be stealing her gems for five years? And she pays you for it? Uh, not quite like that, no. I steal her gems so that other thieves fail at stealing them. It's really quite beneficial to both parties. Well, I mean...

Of course they'll fail at stealing them if there's no gems to steal. Exactly! Idrin and Hira continued to mosey curiously through the market. Do you think we could maybe find a place where we could pay them to cook the fish? I would like a snack before I go audition for the Slayer's Take. Oh, you're going to the Slayer's Take? Out of sheer desperation, yes. It's come to this, unfortunately. Oh, so am I, but...

Less out of desperation, more out of excitement. I'm sorry. I know what it's like. Which part, exactly? Taking anything you can get to just get by. Oh! I understand. No, that's not why. We are brothers together in this. We will get by together, yes.

Edrin pauses to look at this figure and has a moment where he just thinks, your father told you how to do this. Sometimes people will say things, and if it's not harmful, you agree because they're happy. Yes. Thank you. Thank you for understanding me. Together, we'll build our fortunes again. We will.

And then we will have cooked fish. Her nostrils flail a little bit with disgust at the smell and the slime of the fish. But she's also very hungry. You know, I could probably cook it very quickly. Idrin looks around for an empty spot. Roll a perception check.

There is not quite an alleyway, but a small, narrow path between two buildings, where several barrels are stacked up, allowing for a completely obscured corner. Hira, right? Yes, I don't think I caught your name. My name is Edrin, Edrin Shadowstep.

Come, follow me. I would be very obliged. I have never cooked a day in my life. And she hands her fish back to him. Edwin takes it and then takes two of the barrels, puts them down, and pulls out his dagger and lays it across. He gently puts the two fish on top of it. He speaks a few words in Elvish, and he casts Create Bonfire as a small fire appears underneath to gently heat the metal and cook these fish.

The fish sizzle on the metallic surface of the knife. Soon a pleasant aroma fills the air. I think they're ready. Sir, you are a gentleman and a scholar and a cook. She grabs one and takes a bite. Idrin does the same. This is the best meal I've had in days. And within moments, Hera devours the entire fish, bones and all. Midday rolls around, the time denoted on the red-hued parchment...

for the beginning of the Slayer's Take recruit presentation. And all four of our travelers find a surprisingly modest booth with the symbol of the Slayer's Take hastily scrawled on an oversized piece of parchment and nailed to the front of it.

A goblin sits behind the table atop a tall stool, drawing several looks from passersby, which the little goblin returns with a cheery, oblivious wave. As Farrah walks over, she lectures Frog, finding the ego boost she desperately needed with this person who wants to hear all she has to say. All right, so you're here to learn things. Let me teach you something. Uh-huh.

These people are ruthless. These people are tough. They're monster hunters. All they want is money. So, you just gotta prove that you're better. Okay. You're tall. Push people over. Push them over without, like, asking them or anything? Yeah. Do what you gotta do to stand out. Well, you already stand out. I was gonna say the same thing about you. You've got those two swords. Yeah. Don't take them. I would never. You were telling me about...

Oh, you have powers that make you stronger? Yeah, but don't focus on that. I'm not your competition. These guys are your competition, okay? I'm getting this contract either way. Look at me. I'm the best. You want number two? You gotta prove you're number two amongst these people. Farrah gestures to a line of folks that are scribbling down their names on a long list as the goblin reads from a piece of paper speaking to them in a very formal fashion. But you can't quite hear what's being said.

Farah and Frog end up directly behind Edryn and Hera, sucking the last of the fish meat off of very little brittle bones. I think we should thin out the competition, Edryn. Okay.

Maybe a diversion? It would be awful if someone wandered off just as their name was called. How would we do that exactly? Hira is going to take an appraising look at the people in line in front of her and using her eye for detail, try to see if she can find something on their person or something about them that would denote another responsibility she can pull on. Roll an investigation check.

In front of Hira, there is a woman standing with a very palpable anticipation, seemingly very excited to get her name down on this list. Hira looks down her figure down to a belt on which is

is a burlap pouch with the outline symbol of an apple. And gazing around the market, she finds the exact same symbol on a shop sign some couple of hundred feet down the street. Hira taps on her shoulder. Yes? I believe someone from your shop is looking for you. You work at the grocer's, yes? How did you know that? Well, I heard the shopkeep there throwing a large ruckus saying the count was off and gold is missing. The count was off?

And she sprints out of line back to the grocers. Well, that's one down. See? Ruthless.

You're right. You're very wise. Thank you. I think so too. As soon as the four of you approach, the little goblin pulls out a little note card and begins to read. Welcome, friend. If you are here to be considered to join the take, look no further, for you have arrived at your destination. My name is Pooj, and I will be checking you in today. May I have your name, please?

The first thing you notice about this goblin are his perfectly straight white teeth. Hero looks utterly taken aback. You have a very charming smile. Thank you. Do you want to hear the story of my smile? No. Yes, please. Well, when I was a goblin influenced by the Curse of Strife and was relieved of that burden, the first thing I did was take out all of my teeth.

and then found a wizard to replace them, and he gave me these. And Poogs, the goblin, reaches into his mouth and pulls out his full set of dentures. That's why I thought they're a little big. But I like the way they look. Could you do that again?

Thank you so much. You're welcome. Maybe you can grow into them. You think so? I mean, who knows? Anything is possible. The problem is you're made for people, and you're a little big for my little goblin mouth, so...

We make do with what we got. And he slides the parchment forward, places the quill down. Go ahead and write your names, and then go ahead and tell me what your inspiration was for joining the take. Hira takes the pen, and in a very flourishy, cursive handwriting, writes down her name, and says pointedly, hunger. Hunger.

That's a great reason. And you? Um, I would like to defend others from danger. Strange question, may I... may I see your teeth?

Edryn grabs the teeth and looks at the goblin's face and then tries to resize them a little bit. And there's probably breaks and cracks. But after Edryn does that, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out two lodestones and then says a few words over the dentures and is going to cast Mending, trying to shape them to be a more fitting size after breaking them a bit. Edryn, make an arcana check.

The Mending spell does indeed alter the shape of these a little bit, but as the spell takes effect, some of the alterations that Edryn was attempting to make come slightly undone. When this happens, Edryn looks at it and sees that it's not the way he wants. And in that moment, there's a surge in his eyes as he uses a chronal shift just to Edryn's eyes.

The world seems to rewind a few seconds, and Edron feels himself gain another chance to alter the teeth correctly. Make another arcana check. 17. And this time, the teeth reduce in size appropriately for a goblin. Here you go. What did you do? They might fit a little bit more comfortably now. Let me... Oh! Those went in really...

Easy. Easy. Wow! Is this permanent? It is. This is great! You're great. Edrian signs his name very quickly. Who's next?

Congratulations on the new teeth. Yeah, it's huge. I'm still kind of processing it. What's your name? I was just about to write it down. Frog picks up the pen and scribbles her name in just barely legible writing. Your penmanship is beautiful. Thank you so much. It's been a slow learning process, but I get better with each day. Oh, speaking of my purpose for wanting to join here today, it's learning and knowledge. That's great.

I learned a lot in the Slayer's Take. Really? Like what? Ummm... who's next? Farrah writes down her name. I'm a monster hunter. I hunt monsters. Yeah, well that's what we do, so that works great! If you guys will take a seat over there, the presentation should be starting pretty soon. And our four travelers go about trying to find a seat amidst several wooden chairs set before a clumsily constructed stage.

As they're coming in, Edrin actually turns to the two behind him. Edrin, nice to meet you. Oh, frog. Like a frog? Yes, like a frog, like the amphibious creature that lives both on land and in water and has a very good ability of leaf. Sometimes they contain a poison in their skin. Do you have poison under your... Oh, no. Okay.

No, not at all. I just thought that was a very interesting fact about frogs. It's not something I share with them. Edryn, roll an investigation check. 19. As you stare up into frogs' big round spectacles, you see that blue glow emanating from behind them, and also notice that metallic sheen around her face, implying that perhaps frog...

is wearing a full, very tight-fitting suit of armor. You're very interesting. As everybody begins to take their seats and the crowd settles, while the market continues full blast around them, the goblin hops up onto the stage and addresses the audience. Okay, everybody. Introducing our representative from the Slayer's Take. Slayer's Take. Please welcome Timpani Guff!

There's a hesitant applause, and bounding up onto the stage is... A shorter-than-average, more portly-than-average Furbolg, with a shock of red hair on top of his head, coming out of his ears, and in the form of a large, bristly mustache on his face. ♪

He wears canvassy pants that have been patched over many times, a simple tunic, and a barn coat that is in similarly bad repair.

He addresses the crowd excitedly. "How's it going there? My name is Timpani Gough. Timpani like the beautiful instrument and Gough like I don't take none from nobody."

I'm from the Slayer's Take over there in Vasselheim. And we're here today looking for some new recruits. And hey, that could be one of you. We're looking for normal people who just want to do the right thing. But be warned, it's not for the faint of heart. Or for anyone looking to make a fast coin. That's not what the Slayer's Take is all about. The Slayer's Take is about honor. And glory. And glory.

And protecting the innocent, but also, I have made a pretty penny, taking down some of the spookiest monsters in them there Vesper Timberlands. Frog pulls out her journal hastily and writes down everything that Timpani Guff is saying.

Hira just murmurs to Idrin, You can do good things and get paid. Not mutually exclusive, I have found. Idrin looks at the moon on the back of his left hand and then looks to Hira. Sometimes payment from good things is more than just money. Like friendship.

Okay, let's see who we got here today. Oh, I see a tall lady in the audience. Hey, tall lady, are you coming out for the Slayer's take? You would do a good job hunting down them spooky monsters. Do you really think I would do a good job? Of course, you're so tall. Under her breath, Farrah whispers to Frog, Exude confidence. Exude confidence. Yes, sir!

Can. Can do it! Oh, yeah, that's exactly the kind of confidence we admire in the Slayer's Dig. Why don't you come up here on stage with me? Okay. Oh, boy, you're even taller than I thought when you were sitting down. Why don't you just wait for me on stage? I'll get a couple more volunteers. You got it.

And you, you look like you've seen a couple battles in your day. More than a couple. I like the cut of your jib and the cut of those two short swords on your back. Why don't you come join your tall friend? Farrah works hard to exude confidence, but after hearing this speech, it suddenly dawns on her how long it's been since she last did this. Okay, let's see who else we got here. Pick me, pick me, pick me.

Pick me. Yes, you way in the back there. Derek. My name's Derek. Derek. What's your deal, Derek? I was an accountant for the Don Marshall of the Quadros, looking for a change. Well, thanks for coming, Derek. Who else we got in the crowd? Derek disappointedly lowers his hand and sits back in his chair. Edrin raises his hand. Oh, and Mr. Fancy Robes. Yes, because sometimes when you have to do good...

He wants to look nice doing it. Oh, that is exactly right. That's my motto. Get up here and stand on stage. Kira sees that her friend is gone, the only person she knew here, and she starts to feel a little bit of social anxiety. So the next person she thinks that Timpani is going to point to, she rapidly trips them and stands up in their place and says, Ah, yes.

Me as well, right? I knew it. Timpani checks the sign-up sheet. All right, everybody, let's give it up for the volunteers. Adrian Shadowstep, Farrah No Last Name Given, Kira Agnihart, and Frog. Oh!

Okay, now that we have our volunteers, our four brave heroes, I will unveil the kind of beast you might be facing when you join the take. But don't be afeard. Everything is under control. Poogs wheels an enormous box atop a dolly covered with a red tarp up onto the stage. Now again, Poogs.

Please do not worry. But all of the laymen out there, take one step back, for the beast inside of this container is not to be trifled with. Unless you're a verified member of the Slayer's Take. Like me, Timpani Guff. And with a grand flourish, Timpani removes the red curtain. Everybody make a perception check. Ten. Sixteen. Sixteen. Eighteen.

Farrah, you see in this glass box several objects suspended in the air. A score of arrows at all different angles, a silvery helmet with a thick bridge of the nose, a rusted, decrepit shield, and a perfectly preserved fish skeleton. But the other three look a little closer at the box and notice that there is something jiggling and waving from within.

A gelatinous cube, contained within this glass box with no apparent opening. Only about half of the crowd seems to realize what's inside. Ladies and gentlemen, steel your hearts, for you have nothing to be afraid of. I am a trained and venerated member of the Slayer's Take.

And that means that... And Timpani accidentally catches his boot between the slats of the stage and takes a header directly into the glass. There's a resounding crash. Ugh!

And he drops to the ground. Oh, uh, that's okay. That ain't... That's all part of the job. There's dangers and hurdles around every turn. But nothing to be afraid of here. I am still very much in control. And behind Timpani, the glass begins to spiderweb crack very gently from the point of impact. Ah...

And then there is a bursting of glass as all of the glass shatters and drops onto the stage. Several people gasp and begin to back up. Timpani's eyes go wide and he slowly turns around towards the gelatinous cube.

Okay, folks, just take a big step back and... And then, all at once, the cube schlorps through the slats in the wooden stage below. Heckin' jeezaloo, the cube is loose! Everybody run, it's loose! And now for a brief intermission. Now back to the show.

The crowd explodes into a feverish panic and everybody begins to fall over themselves to get out of the cube's path as it begins to slowly reform at the base of the stage.

Edryn sees the people around him in danger and then puts his right hand and arm forward with the sun lit on his hand. And then the sun itself starts to manifest and glow as he chants a few words in Elven. And then four of his fingertips light up and he casts Scorching Ray at third level towards this gelatinous cube. Roll your attacks. Thirteen. Sixteen. Twenty-five.

- 13. - Four hits, roll your damage. - 30 points of fire damage. - As it is engulfed in fire, the still reforming gelatinous cube seems to shrivel and shrink away from the blistering heat. - Timpani dashes towards the wooden chairs and dives behind one, attempting to hide. - Roll a stealth check. - 20. - Timpani disappears behind a barrel, hiding effectively.

Frog rushes towards this gelatinous cube, eyes open and analyzing. She strikes at the creature with a deft punch and kick, and she channels her ki into a third punch. Roll three attacks. 12, 15, not 20. Three hits. Roll your damage.

31 damage. After unleashing a flurry of blows, Frog uses what she has picked up from her hits to discern information about this creature that she has never experienced before. As Frog strikes this massive cube, she searches for her vulnerability and finds none. Interesting. The cube suddenly heads towards a massive stand full of ornate cheeses, rich oranges and yellows, and begins to suck them into itself.

The cheeses begin to dissolve as soon as they enter within the cube, and you see that this cube is heading directly through the market. At the far end of this cube's trajectory, about 45 feet away, you see Captain Horselaff,

with a trident in both hands, standing stalwart in front of his prize catch. You're not gonna take old Bertha from Mickey Horselaf Tolleson, that's for sure. The cube clearly has other intentions, as at this, two little peaks form within the cube as if arms are outstretching towards the pungent fish. First, Hera draws her rapier from her belt. The golden hilt glistens in the sun, but before she attacks,

She's going to scan behind her. She darts one devilish eye towards the barrels and says, "Do something! People are going to die!" And then she thrusts forward in a quick motion, striking out with her rapier. Roll an attack. 25. Hit. Roll damage.

The rapier pierces this massive cube of jelly, and as it swarps on out, some loose liquid with an acrid stench spills over the cobblestone. Farrah pulls out two short swords. Feeling the familiar grip, she gains the confidence to run forward. The veins in her arms glow bright red, and her blades catch fire as she swings three times with her short sword. 23, 9, 10.

Even a 9 hits as the cube makes no move to avoid the slashing swords. For a total of 26 damage. The cube is now glowing an iridescent yellow and orange as the cheeses melted within begin to color the entire cube. It still trundles forward, leaving a thick slimy trail behind it.

- Edryn gazes at the moving cube and looks down to the sun on the back of his hand, and he aims his four fingertips towards the cube to cast Scorching Ray yet again at third level. - Roll your attacks. - Nat 20, 11, 18, 14. - Four hits, roll your damage.

41 points of fire damage. Another massive blast of fire engulfs the cube from the back, and it seems to reduce slightly in size as jelly burns away into the air, increasing that acrid ammonia stench. People have worked very hard on that cheese. Seeing that the cube has not slowed down its trajectory towards the fish man, Frog decides to strike the creature in a way that might stun it. Roll an attack.

16. 8 damage. Frog throws a vicious punch at the gelatinous cube, attempting to stun it, but the gelatinous cube resists the stunning effect of her punch. And then it tries to engulf Frog, who stands adjacent. Make a dexterity saving throw.

Twelve. Just barely escaping the grasping jelly, Frog backs up, avoiding the engulfing effect. Whoa! Be careful, everybody! It has the ability to suck you in, just like the cheese! The cube moves forward, plowing through the street at a diagonal angle, moving into the statue of the founder of Himblewood, Ol' Hick Himblewood. Adorned with fruity cakes and pastries, around the statue is an offering.

The statue is consumed, and it begins to float inside the gelatinous cube as all of the cakes dissolve, and the air fills with that nasty smell once again. The inside of the cube is now a swirling array of pinks, reds, yellows, and oranges, and a very enthusiastic halfling man giving two thumbs up. With a little bit more grace in her step now, Kira charges forward and says, What a waste of cake. Twelve? Hit.

- 15. - Another vicious slash and more liquid pours out over the cobblestone. The cube continues forward. - Swords still alight, Farrah rushes forward and strikes it three times. 20, 16, 10. - Three hits.

13 piercing damage, 16 fire damage. Farah cuts corners off of the massive cube, turning it more into a misshapen sphere, and it continues to, much more weakly now, lunge toward the fish market, almost rolling like an enormous jelly-filled ball. Edryn throws a punch forward to uniquely cast Firebolt.

18. Hit. Roll damage. 13 fire. Frog looks over to Edryn and she feels inspired to continue with her own punches. She's gonna give it her all. 14, 12, 19, 21. Four hits. Roll your damage.

24 damage. In her mind, Frog's fists are surrounded in fire like Edron's as she makes a quick jab with the right, a quick uppercut with the left, and two windmill kicks. With her flurry of blows, she attempts to stun the creature once more. And the wiggling jelly goes still. The cube is inches from the fish market and just seems to freeze in place. Don't worry, we'll save your fish. Hira rushes out again,

With an 18. Hit. Roll damage. 21. How do you want to do this? She moves forward very fluidly, the rapier coming out almost like it's an extension of her arm and slices this now orb-like cube in half cleanly through the middle. It freezes for a moment and then separates from itself and then drops to the cobblestone, immediately losing shape and becoming a formless, still, slightly smoking jelly.

Timpani stands up slowly from the chairs, clapping slowly as he does. And very slowly, the rest of the town joins him. And suddenly, all four look around and see scores of admirers and cheering townsfolk. Let's give it up for the four newest members of the Slayer's Take.

Edrin looks around excitedly and isn't sure how to process it, so he takes the crab on his shoulder and breaks open a claw and starts to eat it nervously. That's right! Feast on all the crab you have, because today we have seen victory! You fool! How dare you talk about glory and doing good? You coward! What you perceived as cowardice was actually me giving you the test of a lifetime. And you passed.

Roll a sleight of hands check.

- 16. - And comes away with Timpani's coin purse unbeknownst to him. - Meet me at the outskirts of the town at dusk. I have your first mission in hand. - Let's give one more big round of applause to the heroes of the Himblewood Fair.

Before the group can gather their belongings and disperse, Captain Horselath comes up and shoves neatly wrapped packages of fish into each of their hands. You protected me and my interest all day long, and you deserve a piece of old Bertha herself. There's an amazing story that goes with this, I promise. Well, I can't wait to hear it. And also, I can't wait to eat this because I definitely eat.

That's a crazy thing to say! Anyway, I was out on the lake! After a 20 minute story with altered and much more embellished details, our four travelers realized that dusk is much nearer than they had originally thought.

and they move towards the edge of Himblewood, crossing the tree line a little ways up the valley, journeying to a bright firelight at the base of one of the further mountains. As you all approach, in almost pitch darkness now, Timpani and Poogs sit around a roaring bonfire.

Timpani immediately stands up with something in his hands that he reaches out to hand to each of you. When I walked into Himblewood today, I said to myself, Timpani, who knows if you're going to find anybody who's worthy here? But then I did. And how? Take these badges with pride. And welcome to the Slayer's Take.

After a hearty dinner is eaten and the firelight burns low, Timpani sparks the conversation once again. Do you guys like spooky stories around the campfire? Because I got a real spooky one that I like to tell to all the new recruits. Yes. Yes.

Lay it on me, fur boy. Fur boy, I like that. See, we're already giving each other fun names. Tempany hurriedly adjusts his seating and drapes a cloak over his head to intensify the spookiness. Now, have you ever heard the story of the Timber Blight of Dead Man's Table? No. Well, you're in for a treat. A spooky treat.

You see, long ago, in the Slayer's Take, there was a powerful druid named Putridius Vesturkin, in tune with all the powers of nature. But as powerful as he was, he abhorred the rushing rivers with their deep eddies, the tall stalwart trees with their sturdy roots, and the unbreakable beasts of the Vesper Timberlands, for they were more powerful than he.

The druid tried to barter with the spirits of the forest, but he was denied. Full of rage, he turned to the forbidden magics, and he became obsessed with bringing nature itself to its knees before him. Clouds began to roil in, covering the moonlight. On a night not unlike the night the other members of the Slayer's Take lived.

got word through whispers that the now unhinged Putridius had absconded to the dead man's table, an abnormally flat boulder in a clearing high within the Vesper Timberlands. With a forbidden text in the druid's possession, he attempted to enact a ritual to imbue himself with the power of decay itself.

There was a horrible battle. Many of the take fell, but just as he was about to speak the final words of the ritual, the spirits of the forest lashed out against him, interrupting the magic and turning the blight back on the druid. He was eaten away and disappeared, never to be seen again.

Since that fateful night, nothing living can thrive or grow at the base of Dead Man's Table. And they say you can still hear the Timberblight's horrible screams on the North Wind!

That was so good, Poobs. How'd you make that noise? Poobs is not there and comes out from behind a tree at the far end of the meadow. Why is everybody looking at me? Poobs, if that wasn't you that made the noise. Timpani turns and looks up the mountain. Everybody make a perception check. 20. 18. 6. 7. Through the trees, there is a loud booming sound and the forest is suddenly illuminated with a soft violet light.

And then Farah and Edrin look behind them and notice trees coming down in the wake of an enormous avalanche. Everybody run!

The Re-Slayer's Take is a MetaPigeon production, in partnership with and distributed by Critical Role Productions, developed in association with Hero Club. Game mastered and produced by George Primavera and Nick Williams. Featuring Nick Williams as Timpani Guff, George Primavera as Poogs, Jasmine Bular as Hera Agnihart, Jasmine Shung as Farrah, Gabriel Hicks as Edrin Shadowstep,

and Caroline Lux as Frog. Also featuring Hannah Fagerbakke as The Grocer and Matthew McCollum as Derek the Accountant. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.