Chris O'Dowd & Dawn O'Porter
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So if you're looking for a gift for the food lover in your life, head to goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code GIFT. Hello, welcome to Table Manners. This is a very special episode. We are backstage in Union Chapel in Islington, and we are going to be doing a Choose Love Christmas Table Manners live special. And we have the most gorgeous guests, Chris O'Dowd and Dawn O'Porter. And mum has cooked a lot.

I've got a lot done. Tell us what you've done, because we've done these live shows before. It's quite hard to eat and chat. Yeah, so I've just made little picky bits. Some sausages, some...

Parmesan crisps. Crab meat with radicchio. Crab meat with chicory. Some prawns with coriander and chilli. Yeah, just little things to pop in your mouth. Gorgeous. And we have a dairy-free person and a gluten-free person. Your favourite kind of guest. My favourite kind of guest. So we're going to be talking to the guests to a rammed Union Chapel.

And we can't wait. It's for a really good cause. Choose Love do really important work for displaced people and refugees all around the world. And so everyone has bought a ticket tonight and that's going towards Choose Love and the 41 countries that they help in crisis. And there's merch stand, so I'm going to be telling people to be buying some more merch. And it's just going to be a gorgeous... We haven't done a live show since Jordan Stevens.

Oh yeah, which was gorgeous. We love it. Our crowd are the best. Our audience are the best. And I can't wait. Good evening Union Chapel. How are we doing? Oh, this is lovely. Hold on, I'm going to take my glasses off because I can't see. Jessie can't see anything anyway. I can't see anything. Can't see anyone. Is anyone here we know? Oh, thank God for that.

Thank you so much for being here tonight. This is a very, very important cause and by you donating and paying for a ticket, you have just helped Choose Love so much and refugees and displaced people worldwide get help. So this is a live episode of Table Manners. Who has been to one of our live shows before? Okay, we've got some old timers over there, we've got some newbies.

But we do have charitable people in the audience and I may just have to ask you to spend a little bit more later. But we'll chat about that after you've had a few drinks, okay? How are you, Mum? I think I'm okay. You look quite startled, Len. I am startled. Also, I'm just going to let you know that Mum and I do talk on the phone about five times a day. However, we turned up with two outfits. Basically, Mum had one outfit that was the velvet with fluff.

Or a sparkle. We look like we're in Bloody Abba. I don't know whether it's because we're so in sync now, Mum. Yeah, we're in sync, darling. Or because we don't communicate enough to let each other know that we're in the same place. I think I communicate, Jessie. Can I just ask, who speaks to their mum more than twice a day? Oh, their dad? Yeah, yeah, okay. How many are you on? You live next door to your mum? Jeez, okay, that's lovely. That is good, that's great. Yeah.

That is lovely. Beware, Jessie. I've told you to move to New Cross. You won't do it. Yeah, I will. You will? Maybe. I've got the granny. You just don't want to be in the basement. No, I don't. No, fair enough. I want to be in the penthouse. Okay, fine. So you already know who the guest is today. Guests. And we are so thrilled to have this couple on today. Dawn O'Porter and Chris O'Dowd.

And, well, Dawn is a co-founder of Choose Love, so that's just really important and special, and she'll be telling us a bit more about that. Thank God they're professionals as well. I know. Who's got leopard print on tonight? Thank you. That's really good. It's fab. Any other leopard print? Hi. What's your name? Becky. What's your name?

Oh, Becky, love it. I love it. You've got leopard print trousers on. Yeah, I need to get my... Who's got pearls? Pearl, pearl? No? Okay, cool. I've got my pearls on, darling. Oh, thanks, Mum. Pushy Jewish mother right over there. I love you. Right, should we introduce our guests? Chris O'Dowd and Dawn O'Porter, please come to the stage. Whoa. Hi, guys. Thanks so much for having us. Are you going to take your coat off? I will.

Are you staying? I was going to see how the first couple of minutes went. Lovely spot you got here. Love this. I've never seen this. The napkin is in a little heart shape. Can I tell you why? Well, choose love, obs. And that is a darling, Sophia, who works on our team. And she's a lovely Greek goddess. Where are you, Sophia?

working somewhere hard. How good is that? It's really cute. It's nice, isn't it? How are you today, guys? We're good. Great for you. I'm well. I'm well. I'm good. I was away for the weekend. I was down seeing a friend in Weymouth, so I'm feeling slightly the worst for wear. That's the name of the new podcast. Surely that'll be a good one. That's the day after the day before. What did you do in Weymouth? What's going on in Weymouth? We killed a man.

But that wasn't the intention going in. I've revealed too much. We went down to see a friend who's moved down there and they were unwell. So it was his partner's 40th. So we did some booging and we did some shaking indeed. Good. And both of those things went well. Was the food good? What did you eat? There was a lot of snacks.

Well, you said you had a disappointing burger. We did. Well, during the day, there's great food in Weymouth, you see. And so we put a bit of pressure on it and we just didn't live up to our own expectations. We kind of had a very mediocre burger and we were like, ah, what a shame. We missed an opportunity here. Dawn, were you there too? I wasn't, no. I was weirdly in London having a terrible roast.

I went to a pub. It took like an hour for the roast to arrive. I can't eat gluten. They put down this absolutely massive Yorkshire pudding and said, and I said, is that gluten free? And they went, yes. And I went, wow, ate half of it. And then just like shaken back dive towards me, like grabbed out my hand. I was like, I'm sorry, I made a mistake. What happens when you eat that then? I basically go into labor. Oh.

Yeah, it's terrible. And so it kind of sent it back and everyone was very apologetic. Which is more fun than you'd think. And then the next roast chicken that arrived was raw. Oh, yeah. It was really bad. Did anyone else have a poor roast yesterday? Did anyone else have a good one? Hold on, hold on. Was that somebody saying they had a bad one? It's unusual. Up there. Even though there wasn't up there. What was... No, God was up there. What?

And he had a terrible roast. That was his last supper. What was so bad about yours? This is my issue with Spikes. It's always dry. They didn't even give you gravy?

Not moist in the famous words of Rick Astley. Are you moist? That should have... Okay, you know we're doing a quiz later. But for now, let's go back to 40th anniversaries. You two met at your 30th. Yeah, it was. We were both living out in LA, but separately. I'd been out there for a year. And...

I was having a party. My friend had lent me her Pilates studio for my 30th birthday party, which is the most LA thing ever. We kind of moved all of the reformers to the side. And one friend bought me a dance floor for the night. And then two other friends, because I was born in Scotland, played bagpipes for me.

Are these all American? Were they Scottish? No, they were all expats. Okay, got it. Yeah, they were Scottish men playing bagpipes. And then not that many people came because I didn't know that many people. And everyone had left by 9.30. And Chris had introduced himself to me on Facebook, weirdly, in the run-up to this party. Because we were cool. Because there was...

And he said, do you want to go bowling? And I said, no, but I'm having my 30th birthday tonight, so just come and bring all your friends. So was that you asking her out or trying to be a friendly person in LA? I was a big bowling fan. I don't know if we've still ever been bowling, have we? No, no. Had you ever been bowling before? No. No, okay. But I saw it on the telly and I was curious. Okay. I actually was coming over and I didn't really know anybody either.

And so I asked a mate of mine who was also an actor, Nick Frost, lovely actor, if he knew anybody in town at the moment. And he said, oh, you should look Dawn up. I know Dawn a bit and she's a good crack. And so I sent Dawn a couple of friend requests on the Facebook. And forgetting that my profile picture on Facebook is an octogenarian Floridian lady saying,

And so it's just this kind of old floral lady. And Dawn didn't... This was 15 years ago, I suppose. So Dawn said no a couple of times. And then she was short on numbers for her birthday, so invited me along. And so I met her father... Well, I was dancing with my dad. Early in the relationship. Everyone else had left, and I was dancing with my dad on the dance floor that my friends got me. And...

And then this guy just walks in. What was the song playing? Yeah. Oh, I don't remember. It's Raining Men. Yeah.

I just remember, I always describe it as this, I just remember like thinking the wingspan on this man who just came towards me with his arms wide open and we just danced and he kind of flung me around. My dad obviously just stepped aside. Dawn's dad is like a guy my height with a beard from Scotland and I'm still fairly sure she's drunk and thinks she's still dancing with him. Yeah.

It was just a straight swap from one Celt to another. But yeah, and I remember the next morning I was in bed with my sister and I was like, that guy, I think I'm going to marry that guy. And so I text my friend and I said, whose Pilates studio it was.

Oh no, I had to go there to clear up the Pilates studio at like 7am because the classes start at 8 o'clock. And I remember I walked in and she went, I'm going to marry that guy. And I was like, no, no, no. So we had a little bit of a battle and then she went, it's your birthday, you go for it. I let them decide. Did you fancy him straight away? I did fancy him straight away. Did you fancy her straight away? And before. Before.

I knew Dawn off the telly because she had done the docs and I was like, oh, she seems cool and she was kind of doing interesting work and all of that. But when I Googled Chris, I was like, the IT crowd? What the fuck is that? I don't think she's seen it yet. No, I haven't. I love it. But at the time, I hadn't. So that was it. And then I think you moved in with me three months later. Well, you were fairly broke. I was like, will you move in and pay my rent? Yeah, I'm good.

Let's take it back to both your childhoods. We weren't together. LAUGHTER

Can you paint the scene of who was around the dinner table, where you were and what was a very memorable childhood dish? Dawn first. Well, I went to live with my aunt and uncle when I was 10 and suddenly food just became this unbelievable adventure. Before that, I'd been living with my grandparents and they weren't really into food. It was very basic 80s, Finder's crispy pancakes type food, which is fine and delicious.

But then I moved in with my aunt and uncle and suddenly we grew up on Guernseys. It's just like seafood and no meal was ever the same. Like there was capers and olives and side salads and just fresh oysters and just all of this amazing food and incredible Sunday roasts. And I just feel like I, at age 10, got this...

like culinary wake up and I've been really passionate about food ever since and I'd say that but I remember just being so excited about what my auntie was going to cook

Very buttery, salty seafood. I mean... Delicious. Yeah. And who was around that dinner table then? Your auntie, your uncle? They had kind of a big crew of mates. So there was a few different families. And I remember my uncle got like a normal kind of eight-seater table. And my uncle built this big topper for it that would sit, I can't think about 16. So that would kind of get carried in on a Sunday morning.

And then we would all just sit and, yeah, a couple of families, loads of pets, loads of food, and hours and hours and hours at the table. And did you ever get involved in cooking any of those meals? Because I know that you love to cook. I love to cook. You love to host. I love to host. I would have been helpful, but my auntie definitely had it under control. She would kind of call us in to do bits and bobs, but I definitely picked up a lot of that really lovely kind of old-school home cooking experience.

They're having a chat. What are you chatting about? I think he needs more tea. Do you need more tea? Oh, yeah. More tea, Vicar, please. I think we have to go off to get our tea. Mum, ask Chris. I was asking you if you wanted tea. No, I'm sorry. Chris, what you might not know about me is that I'm actually Irish as well. Do you know what? Did you know that? There was something wonderful about you that I couldn't quite place. Yeah.

I have the passport anyway. Do you? Oh, good for you. My treasured harp embossed passport. You know that it's the only passport in the world that has a musical instrument on the front of it. Is it? Which I think speaks to... It speaks volumes about the Irish, I think. I mean, it kind of does. There was a time that the harp was illegal in Ireland and Henry VIII would chop off the fingers of a person that was found playing it. You're kidding. No. So I think there's... Are you...

Are you kidding? No, no. Is this a true story? No, this is true. Oh, my goodness. And therefore, that's, I think, why it has such cultural significance. You weren't allowed to play the harp in Ireland, Henry VIII. I don't know that he's teasing or not, Jess. Knowledge and humour are terrible bedfellows. They are. Did we get Chris's childhood food? No, I'm just starting on that. I'm not sure I got it myself, Jessie. Has Mum told you that she's Irish yet? Yeah. LAUGHTER

As is Sarah Jane, who's just got her passport. Great. Brilliant. I now need the documents to get my... Yeah, cheers. So, where were you born? I was born in the northwest of Ireland. Called? Called Roscommon. Well, I was born in Sligo, which is a few minutes down the road. Go up, buddy-up!

Hot in their ass! And so I was the youngest of five. So it was a busy breakfast, dinner table. My mother, who is now a therapist, was a wonderful cook, but I'd say a reluctant caterer. Okay. Understandably. Uh-huh. But did incredibly. And it was, you know, a lot of great...

The produce up around where I am is gorgeous. Loads of great, ah, lovely butter and bread and shit. You know, all the proper, the sausages. Even, I was back last week, and I'm like, there's something about the sausages. The sausages are really good. Nana's sausages. They win quite a lot of awards. Oh, not her actual sausages, but the sausages that she cooks. She's got pretty great sausages herself. Oh, no, no, no.

I don't know how she'll feel about that. We had Sharon Horgan. We did a podcast with Sharon Horgan. It's coming out soon. And she was talking about sausages on Friday night. There's something about the regulations in pork in Ireland that are different to make our pork better. Okay. Oh, shit. It's the wrong audience, isn't it? No, no, I think it's fine. Don't worry. Oh, no, no, no. Mum says that she doesn't eat. She couldn't possibly have bacon in the fridge but has prosciutto there the whole time. Don't worry about it. It's fine. We're fine. We're fine.

So sausages, so it was fried up? Lots of stews, lots of stews. And we would have, I suppose, like Don had, like a kind of a big Sunday roast and all that kind of vibe. Although that feels like more of a British thing, I think. Like we wouldn't have Yorkshire pud or any of that kind of crack.

I don't know what we would have instead. Just maybe, not to be stereotypical, but just more potatoes. Potatoes. Yeah. You'd have probably a roast ham, would you? Oh, lots of ham. Lots of ham. Yeah. What's your favourite roast? It's one of those things where it's like, what's your favourite music? Where it's like, what mood am I in? I don't know. Sometimes I'll be like, I want a delicious beef roast, but also Dawn does an incredible chicken roast. What's your favourite roast? Pork belly sometimes. I think...

I think probably my favorite is a really, really good chicken. Yeah. I also love, if I'm in a pub, it's a bit controversial, but I love a nut roast. I am

I am with you. I love a nut roast. Because you can't be faffed to do it yourself. But when it's done and it's really herby and it's moist and it's just, and there's good gravy. But how do you make the gravy if you're a good vegetarian? Well, I'm not vegetarian or vegan, so sometimes they'll just give me the meat gravy. Oh, okay. And I do try and eat less meat these days, so sometimes I do have the vegetarian gravy, but I would often, if I'm having a roast, I feel like I've done a good deed with the nut roast. Okay. I just slip on the chicken and...

Have we got any vegans or vegetarians in the audience tonight? Hello, welcome. And I would like to know, what do you do for your sexy gravy? Is it a lot of mushroom, umami stuff? What do you do? Bistos. You what?

Pepper sauce. Do you know what though? Jamie Oliver's vegan Christmas gravy is so delicious and just as delicious or even more delicious than the meat version. You just got to work at it a bit, haven't you? Chris's brother and nephew came to us one Christmas. They were both vegan. And so John bought the vegan gravy.

And I chose it over my meat gravy that I had worked on for days. But the vegan gravy was just so lovely. Who's cooking Christmas dinner this year? I'll cook it. Who's coming? Our parents. Both sets? Yeah, we've got a bunch coming this year, don't we? We're going to make them fight.

We're going to make the parents fight. What? Do they not get on? Just for our love. Just to see. We feel like after this year, we only really have the time for one set. Okay. Okay. So next year, you just have one. Yeah. That's it. It just feels easier. Should we bring on some food now? Yes. We're going to try. You know how it is when we do the live podcast. It's more picky bits.

So we did hear, though, on a podcast, Dawn, that you particularly like chips. I love chips. No, sorry, not chips. Sorry. I thought I was in Los Angeles for a moment. Crisps. I love crisps. So it's potato salad. Oh, God, this has followed me around. Well, you're about to get a whole plate. Please bring in the food, guys. That's my girl. Such a hungover moment standing at the fridge like this.

Oh, need carbs. Yeah. Salt and vinegar kettle chips. And there was just some really lovely potato salad in the fridge. So I started loading the potato salad onto the crisps. And I was like, this is.

And I said that on another food podcast. And then on almost every time I've ever talked about food publicly ever, they've been like, is this your favorite food? And I'm like, sure. I mean, basically it is my favorite food. Well, we took you at your word. We've got some other bits and bobs coming up. But that would not be my hangover go-to, I have to say. Have you tried it? I haven't. I'm a bit funny about anything that's a bit mayonnaise-y. I don't like Russian salad. Keep that away from me. Yeah. Oh.

What is your hangover food? Marmite. Lots of marmite. Buttery bread. What's the receptacle? Oh, hello. Look at you with your sausage. Also, this is Joe, who helps us out on the podcast. Hi, Joe. Thank you, Joe. That is producer Alice. It's a family affair here. Beautiful.

So, yeah, just tuck in. You're dairy-free and you're gluten-free. Yeah. No pressure, yeah. But, Dawn, you did say on your desert island dishes that you love the task of having a dietary requirement. I love cooking so much. Sorry, I'm just trying to get an answer here. If someone is coming over...

And I say dietary across. So we were doing Thanksgiving two years ago in L.A. when we lived there. And we had 16 people coming over. And there was, you know, I'm gluten-free. We had some dairy-free. And then there was a gluten-free vegan who doesn't like mushrooms.

That's hard. Yeah, that is hard. And so he was being... His girlfriend and him were being very apologetic and they were like, we'll just bring food. And I'm like, you're not going to bring a lunchbox to my fucking Thanksgiving. I can't... So I will do this. And I took the challenge. And I love the challenge of a dietary requirement. Lenny, do you love the challenge of dietary requirements? I might. My back didn't today. I thought...

Please enjoy the food, guys. How do they get on? One's dairy-free and one doesn't have gluten. What are they eating together? Well, I'm actually not really dairy-free. He's eating Parmesan crisp, of course. I basically just don't, like, if I drink loads of milk, I get itchy. Yeah, you could have told us that, Chris. Could have told us that. But apparently, like, Parmesan, I think, is okay. I don't know if they're funny, because it's a hard cheese. Is that right? Mum, did you make them Parmesan crisp? Mum! They look good.

Hold on, did you make them? Yeah, of course. They are gorgeous. No, you just put a teaspoonful on a baking tray and then cook them in the oven for three minutes. That is a good little... They're delicious. That is a good Christmas... Who's having a Christmas party here? Has anyone? Yeah. I think that would be really good for a party, Mum. What, darling? The parmesan crisps. I know that, darling. I serve it all the time. What's this?

That's crab with radicchio. Delicious. Do you know what? Up until about five minutes ago, I was eating with the microphone here. Are you worried about it? And then I realized. No, babe. We've got, I don't know if Jenny is here, but we do give her a shout out. There's a lady that wrote in saying that she loves hearing the mastication. So just do one for Jenny. Yeah, if you just keep chewing, she'll be really happy. Yeah. Hey, can you hear the crabs in my mouth? Hope that turns you on.

So after you'd taken her bowling for your first date, did you? No, we never got there. You never got bowling, right. She had other ideas. Okay. When did you get married? Must have been a week and a half later, I suppose. But what a week and a half, oh my God. Three years, maybe. Three years, yeah. And where did you get married? On a boat down the road there.

Do you remember the Battersea Barge? Yes. Such a little venue. Yes. So we did family and friends on there and did the official thing and then we did a wild and wonderful full shebang in a very illegal venue the next day. Oh, I love that. And who did the catering? My God, they were wonderful. What were they called?

It doesn't matter the name, but what was it? Pies. Pies? Yeah. Three different types of pies that we had. So we had these as a one thing, gorgeous gravy. Yum. Big bowls of potatoes and salads and things. But yeah, they went round with trays of pies and you could choose the vegetarian one, chicken and tarragon or a beef one. Delicious. Gluten free? No, at the time I was very much ignoring that. There was none of this shit there. None of this shit. Yeah. Go on.

The food was amazing. And then because Chris is Irish, I'm from Guernsey, but I was born in Scotland. So for the reception food we did in each corner, there was a station with food from that place. Oh, how lovely. So we did like little pots of Irish stew, do you remember? And colcannon.

Oh, that was so yum. And then we did... I can't remember what the Scottish thing was, but then we did... For Guernsey, there's this kind of bean jar, which is the local... It's like a local bean stew. Little gorgeous little jam jars of that. And then we did something very London as well. So we did a little...

And probably an American thing as well. We got married right at the height of mason jars being popular. I think actually we did a lot for mason jars. We launched them. They were definitely in my Pinterest for my wedding. Yes, we had a lot of striped straws. LAUGHTER

Fairy lights, you know the vibe. I'm enjoying this food so much. Oh, you? Please. Parmesan crisp in the crab. Like, crab is my love language. We found a new winner. What have we got going over here? Oh, they're little prawns in coriander. And this fella here? What is that? What, darling? Is that smoked salmon? I can't see. Oh, they're smoked salmon. Oh, it's moose. Yeah, I'm not sure about the moose. Quail's eggs. Oh, quail's eggs. Fancy pants. I'm just making sure I chew in for your aroused listener.

Yeah, do a crunch. Let's go quiet. Let's listen. And we'll ask the audience if anyone else is aroused. Is anyone aroused? Oh, that egg just popped in my mouth. I love a quail's egg. That was for the listener. I thought you were going to do an arousing crunch. I think I did, didn't I? Okay, hang on. So, you're a great hope. You're welcome. You're welcome.

So we ask every guest their last supper, but we're going to have to combine yours. Well, we don't have to, but if you both have a very separate one, it's the last supper before you're going somewhere for a very long time. Are they going together, Jess? I don't know. We will. Okay, they're going together. We will. How is it being married to a very funny man? Is it exhausting?

It's wonderful. But, like, do you... You're funny, but do you feel like you've made each other funnier? Or do you just sit in silence? Do you have to, like... I don't know. I want to know. I think we've made each other runnier. LAUGHTER

Have we made each other funny? We definitely have. Chris taught me a really great word once. Do you remember it? Do you remember the word he taught me? I taught you so many words. No, the word he taught me about the way we talk to each other. Do you remember that word? Our vernacular. Our vernacular. He taught me the word vernacular, which I just thought was a brilliant word. And we do have a very kind of unique... We do this thing, like, you know how when you're being funny with somebody, you've got a sense of humor with somebody, and then you take it out into the wild, and people are like...

What the fuck are you doing? The one thing we do is we repeat... I found out, Chris, I doubt it's a snorter. It's a snorter. We repeat sounds. So if we're sitting in a restaurant and outside a car beeps the horn, we go, beep, beep. And we've started taking quite pride in how close to the sound of the streets we can mimic. And we'll go to each other, that was really good. That was really good. Good siren. There's a lot of that.

It's like being married to toddlers. It's great. You love a dog bark. I do love a dog bark. Yeah, and I love a car horn. What a fucking lech. That was a good one. She can car horn with the best of them. She can, I can hear. I wonder, do you know, if he's told a funny story, when you go out, do you say, oh, you must tell them that story, that really funny story, and he goes, I've told it about 88 times. Do you do that to him?

No, I don't think so. Oh, good. There's never been a moment where she'd wanted me to speak more. I think Chris has got quite a good gauge of, for his own personal entertainment, would start to tell a story that maybe he'd told multiple times, and almost his inner monologue would be, I've heard this a thousand times, can't be bothered. Like, you would stop yourself telling a story because you would want to be entertained by the story as well. I find myself so boring.

You know, that I find company important, but also it's like...

oh, the fucking anecdotes of life. Like, what's the point? Jesus. Like, pulling my own hair out of my voice. I do think there's a difference between being a very funny person and it's so much of your job than being somebody who has to write an hour of comedy and stand on stage and deliver. And when you come off from doing that and everyone just expects you to be really funny all the time, that must be so hard. It must be. It's like we just want you to be singing constantly. You're not allowed to not be singing. Are you giving us a song

As I was saying that, I was like... I'm not going to fucking sing a song tonight, Mum. Stop asking. I would like to hear your voice, darling. No, don't. Guys, it's not going to happen. You could have come to False Idols on Saturday and heard me sing, all right? So, back to your last supper. Starter, main, pud, drink of choice. Am I gluten-free in this? You can be whatever you want. I love, like, a really...

I'm garlicky chorizo-y, tomato-y, chili bake with some sort of melted cheese in the middle and like toasted ciabatta for a starter. Wow. Have you had this somewhere? I cook it. Oh, yum. Well, I haven't for years, but that would be, I remember we had some people over for dinner once and I cooked that and it was one of the most successful things I've ever cooked.

And just like in a big earthenware pot, just cook that. Just like three hours of chorizo and tomatoes. And we all just dug in and it could have been the whole night. It was so delicious. But the burps are bad on chorizo. They are bad. Oh, you got some absolute affirmation over there. Hey, Burby. That's the vegan. If you want to ever meet anybody who's belched. They're over there.

But, okay, so you're saying because you're gluten-free, you wouldn't have the baguette, but you can get kind of... You'd have the baguette for the last supper. Yeah, if it was my last supper, definitely. That sounds delicious. Yeah, lovely. Okay, so, Chris, would you go for a similar starter, or what are you doing? I was trying to think of this soup that we used to have in this steak restaurant, and I think it might have been...

asparagus and fennel soup that you would have sometimes as a bit of a calypso before you have a kind of very heavy steak and I want that. Do you know which restaurant it was at? It was La Siette

Which is, you know that place in Marylebone where they just do steak and they cut it up and give you loads of chips? There's always a queue. I know, but you can't get in. The queue goes right. Laundry cot. That's what it's called. No, what's it called? Who knows the place in Marylebone? And you have to queue for about half an hour. Come here. You know it. Come here. Just get on the mic, babe. Hi, what's your name? What is it?

What's your name? Say it in the mic. Catherine. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Catherine. Merry Christmas. I love you too. What is the restaurant you think it's called? Is it called Steak and Frit? No. No, sit down, Catherine. No.

Thanks, Catherine. But that is what they serve, Catherine. That is what they serve. Like, literally, that's all they serve. There isn't a menu. It's just steak, and they serve it twice with chips. But you're choosing the soup. But they've got a starter, but there's only got one main. I think it's called Laundry Curl. That's the one in Marylebone, but there was one in L.A. called La Siette, which is the same idea, right? And they would have a soup and a joint steak. Catherine, you were never going to get that. It was in L.A. I fucked it for you. I'm so sorry.

But Lunch Crop in Marlborough is amazing and is a queue around the block but you're in and out in 45 minutes so it's always worth queuing because you will get in. Yeah, but it's a two-hour queue. I tried once. This is really that busy? Yeah. But do you know what they do? They give you dinner.

Well, that's what I expect. And then they give it to you again. No, but then they give it to you again. You're only allowed two helpings. But they're just doing the whole thing again. It's really, it's really young. Yeah, you love that soup. So we've got the soup. What drink are we going for? Or are you having any sides with your soup? I would have, I would probably have a little bit of bread, something like...

Either a porridge bread or a soda bread. I love a soda bread. A porridge bread? Yeah, I love a porridge bread. I've never had it, I don't think. Oh, very easy to make as well. No kneading? No kneading, no. Oh, I love that. No, it's actually just natural yogurt and porridge and you stick it all in together and a little bit of seasoning. Have you got the recipe? Yeah, it's so easy. That's it.

That's it? Maybe a bit of seasoning, a bit of... Porridge and yogurt, and you bake it. Yeah, and you stir it up in a pot, a little bit of... In the actual yogurt pot, and then you put it into your baking tray, grease it a little bit. How does it rise? You've got a little bit of baking powder in there, but what do you touch? Okay. Baking powder. And it doesn't rise much. Okay, so drinks, what are we going for? I hear you don't...

drink wine anymore i had to really cut down on wine is this what's i'm now 40 you said it's the thing that happens when you're 40 so am i really annoying because i love red wine more than i love my own children um but it just started to do i would just get so drunk like head floppy drunk which i don't really want to be yeah don't sleep and then the hangover is just days and days and days so i was like i think i have to give up drinking which for me was really very hard i

It's the only thing keeping the marriage together. And then my sister said... I'm just going to get you another tea. Thank you, darling. Another green tea, thanks. And then my sister said, it's just wine. Just stop drinking wine. And so I did. I stopped drinking wine for like eight months and realized that I can drink an awful lot of Prosecco.

And I can drink an awful lot of tequila. But yesterday at my terrible Sunday lunch, because it was so sad, I had a really delicious glass of red wine. So I just treat myself like middle of the day, but I used to drink it all night. I just can't do that anymore. Dawn is basically on the motherland

Diet? What's the mother one? Prosecco and spag bol. Spag bol. Well, without the gluten, though. Without the gluten. Spag. Prosecco and spag. Yeah. I do like, you know, I eat a lot of pasta, but it's all gluten-free. So red wine, I love, but you asked what the drink would be. I love margaritas. Do you like a spicy mug? I love a margarita. Spicy mug, but just love a classic on the rocks with salt.

That is the perfect drink. We've been living in LA for a long time. I bet you've got some good margaritas out there. Tequila and lime is the, you know, immediately thinking back to us into the pandemic being like, we have to at least get till noon before we're allowed our lime smoothie. But just that taste goes with tacos. That's such a part of the life out there, isn't it? Oh yeah. Just that lime flavor. Love it. When did you move back?

Last year, last summer-ish time. And is that it for permanently here now? I think so, yeah. Well, you know, while the kids are at school, I think, probably. But, you know, I think with the job that Chris does and the life that we live and the kind of people that we are, I don't think you could ever say ever on, never say forever on anything, but it does feel like a bit of a came-home vibe. Yeah.

Can I... Well, I want to talk about Choose Love in a bit. I'm just going to get your Last Supper and then we can talk about how you got involved with Choose Love. Oh, I've got to tell you my drink. Yeah, I'd like to hear it. So this is the first drink of the evening. So we're not sharing margaritas? Well, we could. Chris makes a stunning margarita. I love a margarita. I can only have a couple of them, though. I find them, after a while, they're a bit too limey. But a martini...

What's your martini? Gin martini extra dirty. That's Jessica's martini extra dirty, but I can't do the gin. Oh, really? I never like, I don't actually like it in anything other than that and a G&T. Delicious. What else is there? What else is there? Oh, it's like, oh, no, you don't like a gin in a gerrille? I love a G&T, but I just, well, anyway, that sounds amazing. Do you make a good gin martini? Yeah.

Filthy. Well, maybe I don't. But I was a cocktail barman for a short time. So I put some energy into it. Did you ever call yourself a mixologist?

Chris will walk into the kitchen, pick up a bottle of wine, throw it into the air and spin it six times while I have a panic attack and catch it every single time. She doesn't love it when I do that. Why? It terrifies me. Because I'm like, he'll go, ha ha, walk off. And the children are standing just underneath. Daddy, do it again. Can we get your mane, please?

Oh my god, you go, do you have something to... Oh, if I was going to... This is Lassapur. I would probably do an Irish stew. Irish lamb stew. That's been marinating for hours and hours. Maybe a couple of days in it. Maybe it's somebody's wake. Maybe they died before their time. We don't know. Maybe it was at the hand of their greatest enemy. But anyway, it's been marinating and with some buttery spuds.

That or like a stroganoff dish something in that world beef stew. Stewie, okay. You love a goulash? Love a goulash.

Can you cook a goulash? No, I've actually never tried to cook a goulash. I should, shouldn't I? Yeah, you should, yeah. It's just paprika, isn't it? Yeah, and a bit of cream. Yeah, and all the other main ingredients. Oh, no, no cream, not in a goulash. That's strong enough, isn't it? It's paprika. Paprika. Paprika, it's Hungarian, isn't it? Yeah. And I have some Hungarian, because I was working with a Hungarian lady, and she says, oh, I've got the best paprika. I'm like, well, I'm not going to challenge you.

And you brought it home and it was absolutely lovely. Yes. Gorgeous. It makes a big difference, I'm sure. It's one of those things where it's a delicacy somewhere else and we don't really think about it. Yeah, absolutely. Can I get your main, please? Because that was your starter, the chorizo was your starter. But I really do love fish. And I love fish in butter and garlic and capers and black olives and all the salty...

So I think my main would be some kind of crispy skin fish with a butter caper, black olive sauce on buttery squashed potatoes. Just like just boiled but squashed with lots of butter in. And then a garlicky side salad is just...

Tell me about your vinaigrette that you make. So I've done the same vinaigrette for years. And my friends in America would always be like, what is this? Because everything over there is full of mayonnaise or full of sugar. The dressings are really, they're real cocktails. And I think the most simple dressing is the best. So I've always done what my auntie did. Just really good quality olive oil, balsamic vinegar, a little pinch of mustard powder and a crush of garlic.

garlic and salt and pepper and that just on green leaves is just so delicious and my friends were always like what's in this dressing? What's in this dressing? But it was just that kind of unbottled, unpreserved raw garlic flavour. Some people it's not for them but for me that's what I love. If garlic's gone through any kind of

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you talk about? Are you ever going to make documentaries? Are you going to do documentaries again? I don't think so. I love that I did them. You were like, you know, we adore Stacey. You were like the original. Thank you. I feel like it needs to be acknowledged. Well, that's really nice. I do. And I do. I feel like now, I felt at the time that I was doing something that nobody else was doing. It's like Louis and you. Yeah. I felt at the time that I was doing something that nobody else was doing. So that definitely does take...

fun away from doing it again a bit so um the the hours are so long and it takes you i love sitting at my desk i love writing my books so much and i love being able to do a nine to five at my desk yeah and so if i do tv tv again in that way it just takes me away from that would you ever do fiction

I do fiction. No, I mean telly-wise. No, I know you do fiction. I am the world's worst. I had a small cameo in Skins, and I thought I was going to be so great that they would be like, oh my God, Dawn is so talented.

Just get her on. And I was so awkward. I was so stiff and so terrible. I was like, no, that is not. Thank God I didn't want to do that. Maybe you just didn't have the right director. But Chris will not give me even the smallest part in one of his shows, which I think is very mean. Oh, Chris. You're right. Because I couldn't prove. I don't think so.

You could get her to do the sirens. I've been lucky enough for the last 15 years to have Dawn read with me while I was preparing for auditions. And it's the real insight into the voices that a person can do. I do the accents that are in the script. I'll be like, Dawn, in this one, you're an FBI agent. It's a big mistake telling her that. She rolls into the room.

Has it ever led to more intimate times like cosplay? Not as much as you would like. No? Okay, Chris, it's time to go upstairs. He's like, no, it's not. But did, Dawn, did you go, what did you do when you left school? Did you go to university? Well, I went to drama school and did three years of acting. You went to drama school? Oh, right. So you were trained. Yeah, in the third year, I realised that,

I just... This isn't where my heart is. So I... Instead of doing a play, everyone was being marked on a play as their final project, I came down to London and I worked as a runner on the Badil and Skinner show. And I got... So Avalon Productions marked me for my final thing instead of doing a play. So just kind of... That was the right thing to do. And then, you know, I left university and came down to London and worked behind the scenes in TV for a really long time. And it was...

I worked out it wasn't what I was going to do before I failed miserably at it, thank God. Did you go to drama school? Yes, which seems shocking. But I did. I went to Lambda here in London. Okay. And I had gone, I had been doing a degree in politics and enjoyed that. But while I was there, I was...

running the National Student Drama Festival, became obsessed just with student theatre and then was doing lots of theatre above pubs and things like that and then came here to drama school and that was yeah 25 years ago and it kind of started there. What was in your fridge when you were at drama school? Oh man, there was just a lot of past-edges, honestly it was poor.

But didn't you say that you ate multiple fry-ups a day? Oh, at drama school, we had a place on the way to work, or on the way to fucking school, like just a builder's cafe, really. So we would have like a builder's breakfast, and it was so cheap that I would have it twice. Of course.

It had a net negative nutritional value. But you love breakfast, don't you? Breakfast's my favourite meal, quite easily. Absolutely, me too. That's why the fasting thing does not work for me. Right. But I will have the breakfast at 12, but it's just like, it's what I want. What did you have to break you this morning? Where was I this morning? Oh, we were in Weymouth. Oh, you were there this morning? Yeah, I was there this morning, so we had a bacon bap.

But in a perfect world, I'm not hungry immediately when I wake up. So I'll have some coffee, maybe a smoothie if I can be arsed to make one. And then at around, maybe I'll do the school run, walk the dogs. And then at around like 10, I'll maybe be hungry. And then I'll want...

Definitely some lovely eggs. Maybe a bit of avocado, but lovely bacon. I just love the idea of you calling it avocado. That's it. But just, I loved it in America as well, and Mexican breakfast, I really kind of miss. A bit of spice in the morning is really nice. Do you do a breakfast burrito? Do you do any Mexican here when you're at home? If so, which do you do?

are you going to go for? Oh, well, I'll have an al pastor or a carnitas. But I haven't found the right places where we are yet. I don't know if London is necessarily a hot spot for great Mexican food. Yeah, it's hard to top LA and Mexico.

The Mexican food there is so incredible. It really is, isn't it? And the tacos, whenever I make them at home, I'm like, there's a thousand toppings. And actually, when you go for a really good taco, there's like three toppings. They've just done it really well. It's delicious. We do miss that culture of...

Just popping out. Huevos rancheros. Yeah, huevos rancheros. You could make that. You could make that. Yeah, it's probably not that tricky, isn't it? I've never tried huevos rancheros. It's probably not that easy. Yeah, no, you could do that. What's your pudding? Have you got sweet teeth? You do. I don't. I really don't eat pudding. If I make pudding, if we're having people over, I make an avocado chocolate mousse. Why? My version of a Jamie Oliver recipe. You would not know it was avocado. Oh, because they're dairy-free? No, but not even that. It's just delicious.

Really? It is good, isn't it? Oh, your mousse. The mousse. Oh, it's so good. The avocado just does what butter would do. The kids think it's absolutely lovely, and it's so decadent, and it's so lovely, and there's no butter, sugar, or cream in it. I'll put it on Instagram tomorrow, and you will love it. And then I have a magnum. It takes 30 seconds. I'm going to try making it. Chris has a magnum. Yes.

It's got loads of coconut cream in it and maple syrup. We're not idiots. It's delicious. I'm going to try it. I'm going to put back. I'm sure if I was to make your dream pudding, it wouldn't be that. No. It wouldn't be mine either, Chris. It is really good, though. I'm not joking. It's absolutely delicious. What would yours be? I love a sticky toffee. In a perfect world, what do you call it? New York cheesecake with something nice on top. That kind of world, I think.

And what drink are you going for around the mains and the pud? Well, for pud, those are two different questions. But for the pud, I'd probably have a peaty whiskey, a peaty West of Ireland whiskey. And then for the main course, probably a red wine. Was I having a Bistu? Yeah, you were. I'd have a Riaca, probably. Lovely. And see how we feel after that. Absolutely. I do love an Amaretto.

Oh, I used to drink that a lot when I was 16. In a restaurant, because I don't really eat puddings. So if I'm in a restaurant, I very rarely would order dessert. But I do love getting double amaretto with one ice cube. Ooh. That's good. That's good shit. Yeah, oh, God, yeah. We used to drink a lot of amaretto, didn't we, back in the day? Yeah, that was a real thing, wasn't it? Oh, I couldn't keep an almond liqueur out of your mouth back in those days. LAUGHTER

Do you like Baileys? Do I like which? Baileys. Christmas milk. Christmas milk. Love a bit of Christmas milk. Me too. When do you get your first bottle? Around 7am maybe. No. LAUGHTER

Which, have you already started on the Baileys? It's the beginning of December. Yeah, it's around now, isn't it? I started, yeah. It's around now. Maybe a Sunday after breakfast or something. Oh, not after breakfast. No, because I love to put a little bit in the coffee. Of course you do. Which is nice. Because I don't do the dairy as much, I got the almond one, you know.

The almond baileys? Shut up. You're kidding me. It's grand. Yeah, it's not as good, but it does the job. It's not the fucking same, but they've done their best and I'm proud of them. Who's going to get a baileys when they go to halftime? Anyone tickled? Are you going to get one? I fancy one now.

And whilst you're there, you're also going to buy some merch and some Choose Love goodies, maybe, please. As modelled. Which brings me on to how you got involved with Choose Love. Well, how did I get involved? Well, it was a boozy Sunday lunch with myself and Josie Norton, who is now our CEO. Ten years ago, my baby was there. Art was three months old, I think. And we were just talking at this lunch going...

are you watching what's going on with this camp in Calais? Why isn't everyone in uproar? Why isn't everyone trying to do something? And so we said, let's just send a truckload of supplies. So the next day through our Twitter feeds,

Would anybody like to send something? We'll get it to Calais. And we got 7,000 packages in 24 hours delivered to this big yellow storage. They'd given us a room and then they had to donate us a floor. I remember at one point we were trying to get people to come and help organize everything because there was just so much. And I remember just looking down, it was just Tamsin Althwaite. I was like, you angel. She just comes to like organize parcels. And you realize that it was just at this time where everyone's kind of seeing this thing on the news that

Feeling utterly helpless. And what we did is we just said, we can help you help. Like, we've got an idea. But then all the stuff came. We're like, God, we've got to get it there. We don't know how to get it there. And then we were donated a fleet of lorries. And suddenly one day we're just waving off all these lorries with all of these supplies. And they went to Calais and they...

Got taken there and then the team got to Calais and realized we can't just get here and dump stuff. And so the next thing was we need a warehouse to organize everything, to do all this. And suddenly this machine is being created. Now, we were just a bunch of maverick friends trying to do a nice thing and we all had other jobs.

And that was the beginning of Choose Love. We were called Help Refugees. And 10 years later, we've raised £120 million. Wow. Incredible. It's incredible. And the money that you've raised tonight, I think we're around £25,000 tonight? I think maybe we are. And so that is so amazing. Thank you so much. I cannot tell you how amazing that is.

That money will go directly to the cause. And we exist because of our... mainly because of our public crowdfunding and how much people support us. So we've got our Christmas shop this year on Regent Street, right next to the Apple Store. Which is amazing. It's amazing. You go in and you buy whatever you want, whatever you're passionate about for somebody else's journey. And we'll get it to them. And...

Every year, there's certain times over the year when it just feels like such hard work and it's so despondent. It's like, oh my God, this is just so hard. Does anybody care? Is there anyone out there? And every year, we look at what you guys have raised and what people turn up to the shop and actually say, what can I do? How much can I give? And it's always so incredible. I think Choose Love is a movement, not just a charity. And you're all part of it. And thank you so much.

I really don't want to now bring it back to food because that was a beautiful way to finish. That's all right. That was amazing. Thank you, Dawn. Of course. Before we go to a break and you now go to the merch stand and you think about maybe... Honestly, it can be one pound that you donate extra tonight. And we do so appreciate that you've already bought tickets. But if you fancy giving a little bit more, you're very welcome. Or if you fancy going to the Regent Street...

It's such a vibe. There's usually a DJ in there. Mum's on the tills. Dawn will be on the tills. Chris is probably on the tills. Chris is the best person on the tills at the Tuesday Love Shop you've ever seen. Actually, you don't. You stand outside with a placard. People find me quite intimidating to say no to. Literally drags people in every year. It's brilliant. Good crack, yeah. It is really good crack. It's amazing, and it is an amazing charity. Absolutely. It's refugee help in 41 different countries around the world. Some places, this is the only help that people are getting.

Pulling people out of the water, getting people into warm clothes, helping families when they land in new places with legal care and home care and all of the things that you don't necessarily think about. It's beautiful what Alana and Josie and Dawn and all of this incredible group of mostly women have kind of done. It's

It's remarkable and we thank you for being here tonight. It's an absolute honour to talk about Choose a Love as well. It makes sense why you changed it from Help Refugees to Choose Love because it is the most loving movement. There is so much love and there's so much ambition for this charity and it's completely selfless. I mean, it's beautiful what you've created and the merch is great and it looks really good on kids too. So you can get little small sizes maybe there or you can get it in the shop.

Now, back to the Table Manners podcast. We need to just round it up with you both giving us your nostalgic taste or smell. I think I'm garlic. Garlic. Yeah. I think I'm just garlic. You know when someone goes, oh, I'm sorry about my garlic breath, I'm like...

I love the smell of garlic on someone's plate. I just want to go, what did you eat? Was it amazing? No. Do you love it as much? We haven't been that close in a while that she would smell it.

But garlic is, I just think the best, like cooking garlic is the best smell on the planet. I'm very into garlic, but that smell a few hours later or even the day after, it's the day after I can't do. I can't do it, Dawn. I don't mind it at all. I also think, and you might correct me on this, but I've eaten so much raw garlic that I think my body has quite a high tolerance. I don't think it lingers on me for like the next day. For a while.

Maybe it does. I just don't smell it. You're actually not called Cat Lady, you're called Garlic Lady. Garlic Lady, that's the next book. But I'm just never offended by someone's garlic breath. I want to know what it was they ate and how delicious it was. Does anyone ever tell you, Dawn, you actually smell of garlic? Do you want to mint? No, probably because I'm talking over them, telling them about what I ate. Chris, what's your nostalgic taste?

Rhubarb crumble. Oh. Grandad grew a lot of rhubarb in the back garden. And so we'd have rhubarb crumbles for quite a few months. It's mostly sugar, of course, but you could get that real hard, sharp hit of rhubarb to you with the back of your throat. Did you ever put ginger with it? Did you ever put ginger with your rhubarb? Do you know what? I don't know if we ever did. I've had it since. I don't know if we did in my childhood. I won't have that...

I don't even know the conditions where ginger grows, if I'm totally honest with you. You might just use the powdered one. Oh, the powdered one, sure. But that's not in Grandad's garden. Okay, no, obviously not. Just let him go with his beautiful, nostalgic taste. And would you be with custard or cream? Custard, yeah, custard. And a bit of cream, maybe a bit of ice cream, depending on how good we'd been. A little bit of garlic on top. LAUGHTER

No one will ever smell it. Do you guys like karaoke? Well, very much. Are you offering some kind of situation? No, Jessie hates it. I think it's great fun. But is it because it's you? Everyone's expecting too much. No, I love other people doing it. I just don't like doing it. And I have really bad PTSD from my mum making me do it at Club Med.

Oh, interesting. See, I've been practicing one of your songs for karaoke. Shut up. Oh, that's a nice one. Have you? Yeah, I love it. Oh, that's nice. I don't know if it's on there yet, though, babe. I don't know. You might have to find it on YouTube and just drown you out. Yeah, drown me out with your garlic breath. I love this already. Yeah, no, mum made me do it at Club Med. And I think I've said this in the podcast already, but she... I was 15...

It was Turkey. It was October half term. And it was a really chilly night, but karaoke was happening. And she went, you want to be a singer? You better get up on that stage and sing. What did you sing? What did you sing? I want to dance with somebody. She was like, she'll do Whitney. She'll do Whitney. Do it now, Jen. No, fuck off. Tell me a fucking joke, Chris. I mean, I'll sing it.

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman, Paddy Scotsman are in a pub with their sons. I'm not singing. I'm not singing. And Paddy Englishman says, I called my son George because he was born on St. George's Day. And then Paddy Scotsman says, this is my son Andrew and he was born on St. Andrew's Day. And Paddy Irishman leans into his son and he says, say nothing, pancake.

Chris O'Dowd and Dawn O'Porter, everybody. Well, Mum, well, I'm slightly in love with the man with the Irish accent. Well, I'm in love with Dawn. I love both of them. You have Chris and I'll have Dawn. Okay. What fabulous girls. They were amazing. Absolutely amazing. Great fun. Do you want to just tell the crowd what a lady just said to you? She said...

Lenny, why doesn't Jessie let you speak more during podcasts? And I said, because she's a little jealous because I'm really the star. Exactly that. I'm really sorry that I don't let her speak more. What a great night. It was really gorgeous.

People got really involved. We made a lot of money for Choose Love. If you would like to donate to Choose Love or visit the store in Regent Street this Christmas period, please do. We will put links to Choose Love in our Instagram stories and in the show notes. Can you buy online? You can buy online and you can spend whatever you want. It's like...

as little as much as you want and everything counts and they so appreciate it but thank you so much for listening and we hope you enjoyed the live podcast and maybe we'll go on tour again I don't know would you like to go on tour? maybe the way those people were flocking to you Lenny flocked towards me darling with your chicken soup for the chicken soup really no it was for a moment I think it was for the chicken soup but there you go thank you so much and we'll see you next week hey guys

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