Bonus #94 - Live Call Show Vol. 16 [PATREON PREVIEW]
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I'm 40. I just turned 40 in the spring. And just to give you a little background, from the time I was like 18 to 22, I was in like a super serious relationship. And then I slutted around in my 20s after we broke up, got married when I was 29, had my daughter at 33.

And I have now been single since I was 36. So the last just over four years. Okay. In that time frame, I was fucking a guy that I've known since like the early 2000s, but he was like 15 years older than me. Ooh, interesting. And it was not good. Yeah. And it was like maybe once every, I don't know. It was like bi and annually, like twice a year. Like basically it was terrible. Needed to knock the cob's web out that pussy.

Yeah. Every six months. And it wasn't enough. It's just not enough. And now that I've turned 40. So, okay. Stavi, I'm so horny. My body is vibrating. Wow. That sounds cool. I don't know if it is. Is it too much? You're like a superhero that just got their powers and you don't know how to handle it. Seriously, I can't. I can't. I don't know how. I can't. I don't sleep anymore. I'm always on edge. I

I'm like shaking. It's terrible. Anyway, the day before my 40th birthday, I,

I decided to go on Tinder. I was already on Tinder, but I was like looking at guys like my age and older. And then I saw that I had, I just had like a free account. So I saw I had all these likes, but I couldn't see them. So I just decided to give myself a birthday gift. Sure. And pay for Tinder for just for the week. Why not? Just to see who liked me. Sure. And when I did that, I had over 1300 people, like men wanting to match with me. Wow. And,

Yeah, and so many of them are under 25. Sure. And there was one that stood out who I thought for sure was going to be a catfish situation because I am telling you, 22, the most beautiful body I've ever seen. Like, just jacked, tattooed, broccoli hair. I am such a fucking sucker for this broccoli hair. The broccoli hair, look at you. Wow.

Broccoli hair and like gray sweatpants. Oh, my God. These guys. Okay, relax. Those start jacking off right now. Making me look at their dick outlines. Like, what am I supposed to do? Okay. So I matched with him and he immediately messaged me and told me he wanted me to sit on his face. And I was like, what? Wow. And he was at my house like an hour later. Wow. Respect. And he was exactly me.

All right. Well, listen, what do you want?

just call me mommy anyway am i i've and i've i've fucked quite a few more of these young yeah and they all look like this and sure i don't know what's going on i have been i am five foot six i weigh 225 pounds like i was not getting this quality in my 20s great and i don't

Like, am I doing... Am I going to scar these people? No, what? Like... Come on. What are you talking about? Jesus Christ. Shit. Life has been hard for you. You get this gift. It's been really rough. You get this gift of this, like, you're insanely horny. You don't want anything serious. You have all these fucking... And, like, here's the thing. Yeah. That's how this works. You have 1,300, a bunch of... Like, I've... Me and Elders are both...

former Tinder users, you just swipe on anyone you would even sort of fuck, right? And then you get, now as the woman, you get the cream of the crop of these guys. That guy was so horny that he wanted to smash. He was about it. These other guys are about it. What's the downside? Why are you so like down on yourself here? Okay.

Because, okay, let me, I didn't quite finish the story of that first one. Okay. So the next day he sent me a message wanting to hook up again, but he wanted me to shit on him. No. What? Really? Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah. All right. Well, you don't have to fuck that guy again. That's insane. No. Well, yeah, I was like, no, that's not going to happen. And he immediately unmatched for me. Now, my concern is that at 22, that is an insane bottom line. Also, I would love to meet the broad that says yes to that. Well, they're out there. And here's the thing. It's not me. Can I tell you something? Yeah. Like this guy is a little out of like.

You fucked a hot 22-year-old. This is usually a... These are usually moral issues for men to deal with. This is... Right? This is usually... And it's like, yeah. Did something... Is something...

I'm not going to say wrong, but did something happen that made these young people attracted to older people? Yeah, some happened. Maybe they have a weird mom, a weird dad, whatever the fuck it is. But as someone who has also fucked a hot person younger than them, it's like, yeah, they want some kind of like.

It's usually the daddy stuff. We don't hear so much of the mommy stuff, but Hey, it looks like it's out there. You are the beneficiary of it. Is this 22 year old Jack broccoli hair kid? Did he have the coolest childhood? Probably not, but you didn't do anything bad. He's nutting. You're nutting. Who's the issue? What's the issue here?

He had the biggest uncut dick I have ever seen. It was like my forearm. This is great. You deserve it. Sounds like shit's been tough. You were dealing with all this. You were fucking some 55-year-old guy every solstice who could barely fuck. Yeah, and he smelled bad.

smelled terrible. Yeah, you clearly have some self-esteem issues here, Annie. And I think this is like, I think this is a good thing for you. You're saying you're so horny, you're like fucking vibrating and shit. You have basically an unending trove of dick here. Don't start fucking so much your life falls apart. Don't, you know, forget to pick up your daughter from fourth grade because you're getting double teamed.

by 19 year olds but like still just you know go do your thing what's what i guess what's your issue here are you just kind of like you can't believe this is happening or what's the

Yeah, first of all, I'm like, what is going on? Like, you don't just turn 40 and, like, the dick gods just, like, start blessing you. Like, I don't— Well, I— I just don't— It doesn't feel good to feel this happy. See, that's the issue here. But the other thing is, it's not because you turned 40. It's because you just took one small chance. The dick gods were out there, baby. You didn't know what those matches have been that way. It's not like they happened—

you know, overnight, those guys have wanted to fuck you. You just couldn't even conceive of a world where young, hot guys want to fuck you. And that's your issue, right? And because you got so horny, it broke through your low self-esteem and you bought Tinder Plus. Yeah.

And you found this whole, you made this discovery, and that's a positive thing. It's good to be happy. It's good to get something you want. Don't overdo it, of course. Don't be like, you know, don't get a fucking dick tummy ache where you're like, you're gorging yourself. I remember when I was a little kid. I did.

Every time I go to a baptism or a wedding and there was a free dessert bar, I would be sick for literally two days afterwards. Oh, Javi, you and me both. I am with you. I'm 5'6". I weigh 230 pounds. Obviously, I know about some binge eating. I get it. Yeah, hell yeah. I'm right there with you. And look—

I don't know if you've heard the song That Summer by Garth Brooks about how he worked out a farm when he was a teenager and then he fucked the old lady he worked for. And now every time he sees a wheat field, he gets horny. Like, I don't want to... That's not up to you. Are these people going to think about me when they're horny? You know what? They will, and that's cool. You're a cool sexual experience for them. I had a friend who, like... I had a friend who, like...

She just was bored and she fucked like a guy who didn't even really think he had any chance. He just kind of like hollered at her in passing. And she was like, you know what?

I'm visiting. I'm bored. Like, that guy will think about that time for the rest of his life. Some of these guys will think about... You know how many times someone's first DM is, can I sit on... I need you to sit on my face, and they get blocked instantly? You're like a sexual unicorn for some of these guys. And yeah, here's the other thing. Don't...

Don't get so beaten down by society to think you're not attractive. People find you attractive. This is like not, nothing is wrong here. It's just that when people are honest, it's not just the classic beauty ideals that they are really strongly attracted to. They're attracted to somebody who's a little thick. You know what I mean? Like that's, you're a lot of people's type and you're maybe, if there's one thing that's that you're reckoning with is that realizing this was,

probably available to you your whole life, but your just self-esteem wasn't allowing it. And guess what? That's okay. We don't have to look in the past. Look forward. Get dick down. Get, get, take, you know, you're on a little, you deserve it for, for a while. Keep sowing those wild oats at 40, you know, slut, slut it out part two. And when you want to, if you want to, I don't even know if you do, but if you ever want to settle down, know that you are someone's type already.

someone that you're also attracted to someone you don't have to settle for and you're good this is this is all positive andy there's no problem here and we're happy to hear usually i don't like people bragging but i think you need to brag a little bit about getting some dick because you haven't really you haven't really believed in yourself until recently it sounds like i really haven't it's you yeah you've hit the nail on the head

Well, listen, go out there. Go out there. Suck a little dick for me and Eldis. Okay. For sure. Have a nice. The guy I'm talking to right now. Huh? Is 21 years. The guy I'm talking to right now is 21 years old and he's Greek and uncut. There you go. Just don't slip up and call him Stavi while you're giving him head. Okay. I'll try not to, but I might, I might do it anyway.

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