Bonus #76 - Kush Brothers Vol. 10 [PATREON PREVIEW]
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Hey, stuff. Eldest long-time listener, first-time caller. 26, probably 27 by the time this airs. Still a virgin. For context, I've had two real opportunities, like ladies naked in my bed opportunities. Wow. The first one, I really didn't want to, and the second one, I wanted to, but she said no, and then she changed her mind. What?

Didn't feel like great consent with that. Good man, good man. You don't want your first time to get pussy. Being like a, like a, like a, you could make a prestige drama about whether it was rape or not. Like, you don't want to, you don't want like, what was the, what was that German movie? The Window? Oh yeah, Anatomy of a Fall. You don't want, you don't want the first time you fuck to be sexual Anatomy of a Fall. Oh.

Oh my god. So that's good. Anyway, finish up his call. My consent was withdrawn. With that, so I figured it was better to not. Regardless, those were both in the first half of 2021. We were coming off of COVID. Everyone was desperate and touch starved. So did I miss the boat? Is it over for me? Should I fly to Amsterdam? Should I jump off a bridge? Oh no.

Let me know what you think. Please help me. And actually, Don't Fly to Amsterdam, we covered that. That was not that cool. That was this one, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did a podcast earlier. I was like, did I tell that story? Check out the other sites, but skip the red light district. You should go to Amsterdam. So this is interesting because we do have a, you know...

When was the first time you fucked? How old were you? 25. Might have been 26. I can't remember exactly. We talked about this the last time you were with me. Yeah, yeah. I was like 25 or 26. She was probably 22 or 21. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Were you dating or what was it? No, it was like our seventh hinge date. Oh, okay. We tried to fuck one time. This is so embarrassing. I remember this. Say it again. I came before I got inside her. I just like sprung.

Spraying, praying. Just hoping some of the boys would make it. I did a little paratrooper drop on her. You wanted them to get in? I assumed. Just so part of you got pussy? Yeah, just like, it counts. It counts. A future generation of me. Got it? If cum passes the labia, it counts. Imagine getting a woman pregnant like that and then cum is part of the dick. Yeah.

Imagine you the next day, you get that one brain and then you die and you procreate and never fuck. That's your entire life. Jeffrey Asmus, virgin father. The women already had a virgin mother. We need a virgin father. We do need a virgin father. That's how Jesus is coming back. An incel that nuts in a pussy without penetrating it. That's his rebirth. Jesus' rebirth. Virgin father. So, you know, dude, I don't know. I...

I would love to talk to this guy. Can we get him on a live one, do you think? That would be wild. Because, what is it? First of all, buddy. I get it. Wow. To answer your question, it is not over for you. Not at all. No, no. You'll find someone when you least expect it. I feel like he's already done the hard part, like gotten the chick naked in his bed. Right, right. You're about to fuck at this point. It's going to happen. Just like...

Keep doing whatever you've been doing and you'll get some pussy here. Well, yeah, exactly. This like, oh, it was coming off of the COVID. It's like, look, dude, I know that was true. And it was honestly, that was a great summer. We were going. That first post-COVID summer. Yeah. No one was leaving their house without getting fucked. It was all. No girl was coming over and like not giving you pussy. Because they're like, well, I'm risking my life. Standards were at an all time low. Yeah. It was fucking the halcyon days, dude.

Literally might have been my favorite year of my life was when that last year in Baltimore was awesome. I was like 25. I was about to move here. Oh, yeah. The...

In terms of a four, because that was when I lost all that weight, too, in the pandemic. I was losing weight. I was getting healthy. And I was getting pussy constantly. It was awesome. So, yes, that was a great time. But that doesn't mean it's over. And you got people in your bed. Now, the thing that I would ask about is, like, what do you mean the first one you didn't really want to? Didn't feel like. It's the clock. Despite all of our support, the clock is not your friend here. Yeah.

And you gotta get on the board, brother. I've been there. I've chickened out before. I did. Did you have like a... And you just didn't want to fuck her? I just got like scared. Scared. I did, yeah. Oh, it was so embarrassing. I can see that. One time I fingered a girl and I guess I did it so badly. She's like...

You're a virgin, aren't you? Wow. You were diagnosed on the spot. And she left my house at 2 a.m. in like a snowstorm. She's like, I can't stay. Wow. I don't know what the method I was doing, but it was so bad. You're like. Swirling. Brutal. Swirling inside. A couple of flicks to get her started.

Oh, yeah. Pulling on her clit. Where's the fucking... Where's the button that gets it wet? We do all act like we're not scared the first time we encounter pussy. Oh, yeah. This just happened. Yeah, like, it sucks as an adult more. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we all did it. We all did it. And I will say the first time you fuck...

It's like, whatever. Like you build it up in your mind. Oh my God. And it's just pussy, man. It's awesome. But it's not like, it's also the same every time. It's not better the first time. It's a B plus. It's a B plus. It's good. I like it. You know, I'm, you know, I've let it ruin my life for stretches of it. But it's not like, that's why I would also be like,

Just if you get a girl naked in your bed again, just fuck her. The first one, I mean. Not the second one where it was consent, gray line. I mean the first one where you're like, I didn't really want to. It's like, well, you got her naked in your bed. So there's plenty of places before then to jump off the getting pussy train. I would just say, I wouldn't kill yourself. I wouldn't fly to Amsterdam. But maybe take back your standards once.

And they're pretty nice the first time, too. You can fuck up. You can really just be like, to and done. And then she's like, okay, that was pretty cool what you did. Your sex posture is going to be bad. Oh, my God. You're not going to look like you know what you're doing. Just have fun with it. She's going to put it in for you. Yeah, well, still. If you're fat enough, they've got to do that still. I don't know when that stops.

I need the I've put my own dick in a pussy seven times in my whole life I need the hand guide thing alright so yeah dude you're fine stay up brother you're gonna fuck up a lot but you'll get there you're just a little autistic probably just be real I'd love to talk to him nothing wrong with that