Bonus #69 - Live Call Show Vol. 9 w/ Sydnee Washington [PATREON PREVIEW]
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Do you have another issue for us, Ev?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My other thing was, like, so I'm a software engineer. I'm a girl, obviously. But I work with, like, basically in an office with, like, 100 men. Right. And they don't know how to, they're, like, no pussy getters. They don't know how to talk to women at all. Oh, yeah. And, like, I'm in a committed relationship. But something that keeps happening is guys will, like, hit me up in, like, the, you know, the work DMs, basically. Oh, in Slack? Yeah.

Yeah, in Slack. I try to get pussy on Slack. It's hilarious. You're serious about the pussy, though. You're like, let's schedule this in. Can we circle back to me getting jerked off by you? Put it in the Google Doc, please. That's how I try to get my cock sucked by Stav in the company Slack. He never responded to the DM. Okay, so you're getting accosted on Slack by a bunch of programmers.

Yeah, and normally I can ignore, but one of them actually had the nuts to actually ask me on a date over Slack. Seems like you just go to HR directly. I know, but that's the thing. You always got to... Everything has to be paper trail. So this is good. It's actually good that it's on paper. Yeah, you need to print out all this stuff, and then you need to just put it on their desk and be like...

Now, when somebody sees this, what does this look like? Right, right, right, right. Does this look good for you? So what's your question? Like how to like respond to it or what are you thinking? The question is like, yeah, so I actually, I've never brought anything of this up to HR because like, I don't know. Yeah. If you can avoid it. Also, HR is snitches. You never know. HR, if they really care about the company, they don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck about you. No, no, no. They're going to make sure you're up out of there.

Yeah. The one guy that asked me out, like, I didn't really know what to do because I was like, is it even inappropriate for me to like respond to this message? So I was just like, uh, I just didn't respond. You left him on read? Oh, that's worse, girl. He really gonna fall in love. You left him on read? No. I thumbs up reacted. You thumbs upped?

A thumbs up reaction. No, what are you talking about? He could read that as you agreeing. No, no, nobody. Whenever you see a thumbs up, you're like, oh, did you just fucking slap me in the face? A thumbs up is mean. I agree. But like, if he asked, like, what was the, what was the, what did he say exactly?

He was like, hey, I just like, I see you around the office. I just want to like, you know. You're the one, girl. I work here, you fool. I'm supposed to be here. Oh, you come here a lot? Yeah. He was like, let me know if you want to grab a drink or coffee or something sometime. No, bitch, I don't. I don't. And whenever I can get coffee, it won't be with you. Yeah.

See, that's what I'm saying. Even though I know that the thumbs up is usually a passive aggressive move, when someone's asking you a question like that and you could construe a thumbs up as a positive move,

The kind of like delusional nerd that's going to ask you out to begin with might see that thumbs up as like a, yeah, sometime, even though you didn't say shit. Maybe for a day, but I feel like it just sinks in and feels worse and worse quickly as like multiple days go by without a single response. I guess I would say here's, I don't know. You probably know better. You've obviously dealt with this so much more. You tell me what I should be doing. Go ahead. Say, I feel like you would know what you want me to say. What I would, what I would tell her to do.

I think either ignore. I think ignore is fine in that situation. He is crossing a line. You don't really have to engage, I don't think. And then what's he going to do? Press you on it? Then you're in HR territory. It's like I ignored an unwanted advance and then he kept kind of harassing me. Or you could just be like just a straight up no thank you.

Or like, no thanks. You know, I like to keep things professional. You don't even have to mention the boyfriend. The boyfriend is a, being in a relationship is the ultimate get out of any kind of weird shit. Stop, you don't know what you're talking about. So then go ahead.

You got to pull his card. You got to be like, yeah, let's go on a date. Sure. Okay. I don't know what I'm talking about. You got to go on a date. She's got to go on a performative date. You got to go on a date. You have, no, a lot of the times people, especially dudes, they're like, you got to take these shots because whatever shot you don't take, I mean, that's a. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. So it's like, he probably don't even really want to go out with you.

He probably is just like, this is what guys do. They ask out. And then when it's time to do it, they, then you, as soon as you act interested, then they're like, oh, nah, bitch. She's fucking, she's got a job. She's got a boyfriend. She doesn't want to go on these dummy dates. Tell your boyfriend, hey, how long you been with your man? Five years. How long? Five years. Five years. Oh yeah, bitch, it's time to play. Come on.

you bored over there. You better go on this bad date and then ham it up. Ham it up. Order a lot.

Wow. Talk about all the boring shit that you got to deal with your man. Wow, trash her man too? Oh yeah, trash the man. But you got to keep your boyfriend in the loop. You're like, listen, listen, listen. I got this guy. I'm undercover. And then this will make your boyfriend want you even more. Because then he'll know, oh, there's other people that want you. What the fuck were you just talking about? You need to settle down. You want a regular relationship. You're trying to play mind. Don't listen to Sidney. Every time.

Her life is a mess. I'm like a guy. Her life is so much worse than it should be. He goes the opposite direction. It's the ones that I'm like, ugh, get away. They can't stop. She doesn't want to do any of that. She doesn't want to do that. Babe, you're in a five-year relationship. You're bored. You're at a job. What is it? Tech? Something. Some bullshit, yeah. What is it? Software. Snoozefest. Yeah. This is where you live. This is where you get a good time going. Okay.

I, a thousand percent. There's no way this guy's even sort of interesting. He wants to take her to fucking like some kind of fast casual place and talk about Linux. He asked her out in the most like pussy way too. He said get a drink or coffee sometime. Yeah, well she's going to fucking get a couple. I have to clarify also, I would not go on a date with this guy if I was single because he's not hot enough. Yeah, there you go. Even better. Go on a date. Go live on Instagram. Be like, girls, look at me.

to come on this day with. And Eric from the third floor. Bitch, this is great. Okay, maybe this is me just being a comedian. But I also do believe as someone who, you know, was actively dating men, soon as you are like on board and

and into it they immediately want to go the opposite that's just how it is well that's true they do not really like women it's the whole game they're playing PS5 so much they don't know what's real and what's the game

That's what it's really about. All right. So soon as you are clocked in and you're like, we're on the date and you're like, yeah. And so then you could see their eyes wander like, oh, fuck. I said, yes, I actually asked her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They hate that. They hate that. We need to a thousand percent stop being scared. Stop being like, oh,

I don't know how to say no. Yeah, let's go. Let's go to Per Se. Let's go to Per Se. That's where I want to go. Well, there you go. There's two competing ideologies here. One is don't DM him back or...

turn him down as quickly as possible. The other is engage in maybe two or three weeks of mind games with some fat programmer you don't want to talk to. Say you want to go to Per Se. And I dare you say he'll be like... They don't have that shit in Northern Canada. Oh, that's true. Go to a smoked fishery or something. What's a place there that is like $1,000 per person?

Oh, that's true. I'm telling you, if you name a spot and they start Googling that shit, they'll be like, oh, this bitch is out of her mind. Yeah, it's possible. I absolutely will not go out with her. So either get out of it as quickly as possible or call this bluff. That sounds, they don't care about the, I don't want to get a belief. These are fucking software nerds. I'm a woman. Yeah. And I deal with this constantly. I'm sorry. I'm that girl. Yeah.

I could say no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Destiny's Child. No, no, no, no. All they're like is I just need to try another way. I just have to keep being persistent. I have to stay on her ass. And that's when we break down and we're like, all right, OK, cool. And then they're like, oh, I'm I'm back in the game. But if you immediately are like interested in like, oh, yeah, absolutely.

You're talking about black dudes from New York. We're talking about computer programmers from Canada. Okay? This is two different types of guys. This guy gets one sort of no, and he starts crying and gets nervous and goes to Reddit and talks about how all women are whores. There's no way he's going to be like, come on, ma, what are you doing? It'll come out in March. It'll come out in March.

LAUGHTER