Bonus #68 - Napoleon Emill and Ryan Donahue [PATREON PREVIEW]
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um yes what's up everybody this is paulie hello paulie question i've been i don't even know if you call it dating fucking whatever the case is been with this girl about two years now um she's hot which is always the biggest of bonus points uh and i'm a bigger guy okay who now has lost 115 pounds kind of coming into my uh

Oh, man. Pause this. What was I just talking about? How the unearned confidence of May gets when a woman supports him. This fat cocksucker. This bitch was lifting his stomach up to suck his dick for years. And now he's lost. I'm guessing that's where this call. You know what? Let's just see where the call goes. Yeah, yeah.

Ideal. Now, in a perfect world, I keep her around. There's all the bitches around. Yeah.

It's always about the bad and never about the good. This is awesome. Him making the case. She's too negative for me now that I'm fucking not fat as shit. She is too to the extent. And then once she hits that wall, it's like depression and sad and somber and feel sorry for herself. And I mean, how long did...

say and put up with that to an extent. I feel bad. Don't want to leave her after you hear some of the things, but then it's like, well, I don't want to be fucking miserable and

What a fucking asshole. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're giving everybody a fair opportunity.

God forbid these whores or whatever small shitty town you're from don't get a chance to suck the loose skin off your tits. You fucking animal. What a piece of shit. Yeah, that's wild. Did any... Okay. Did any of the... Did he know that... Like, were you thinking this way when you were fat? Like, that's the thing. Yes, she wasn't annoying when she was fat. She wasn't annoying when you were fat? Yeah. But now she's annoying? Damn.

Be honest with yourself. She's probably depressed because she had to... He's like looking at his muscles in the mirror like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like flexing. Yeah, it's like, are you even hot, bro? Are you just not that fat anymore? Like, that's not necessarily... That's the other thing. Don't get too ahead of your... Don't get too, ironically, big for your britches here.

Yeah, I mean, you're clearly being a dickhead here. You're inventing problems now that you're not... Now that you think you can get better pussy. And that's fine if you want, but I'm not going to let you lie to you. You're not going to lie to me. You're definitely not going to lie to yourself, okay? You're doing this because you think you can get better pussy now, but you said she was hot.

Now, did she support you through your weight loss? Did you ever think maybe you could support her through her fucking mental health problems? Also, with no other information here, right?

It sounds like drinking is the problem. Yeah. It sounds like maybe the way you had a fucking, you had food addiction, is this woman... We're drinking and partying. I know what that means. Right. Like, can you help this girl through? It sounds like just not knowing her at all, if this all happens, if all this is triggered when she's drinking, you got to fucking maybe help her get sober, be a fucking good guy. Yeah, she got you off the pizza bagels, you got her off the booze. That's right.

But the thing is, you're not a good guy. You are a piece of shit. And if you admit that to yourself, fine. Break up with her. Try and get pussy. See that it won't even be that... You won't even be that successful. And then maybe try and come crawling back. But anyway...

Yeah, dude, don't fuck it. I'm just, I'm offended that he's even trying to make this about anything other than, hey, now that I'm, now that I lost weight, could I get better pussy? Is it unethical? It seems like he's just coming out the bathroom with like a powdery lip being like, what's the matter? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, what's going on? Like this just, like take the weight loss out and it's like, okay, people break up. You know what I mean? Like you just, shit happens. But this added element is like, come on, what?

on. You can also tell that he's conscious of all of that. So he's aware. So it's like, yeah, man. People will say that about you too. You're trying to fit the narrative to like, you're still a good guy. Yeah. And it's like, no. Yes, you're not. You're not. That's fine. I mean, I have that joke on my first special where it's like, when my dad had a heart attack,

he lost a bunch of weight and started cheating because he was like, oh. With his second lease on life, he used it to get pussy, right? And like that's what this guy, that's what this guy's doing right now basically. They're trying to do. And you can do it. You're just a bad guy for doing it. Anyway, whatever. That's okay. It's okay to do that. It's okay to be a bad guy sometimes. Just don't lie to yourself. That's all. Be honest with yourself.

Oh, this is fucking... That's so fucking funny. I just love hearing people pretend shit isn't what it is. I did love the language of give everyone a fair shot. Yeah, give everyone a fair shot. He's like, look, ideally I'd stay with her. Like, don't... I'm not a fucking idiot. Like, don't... Whatever's in your fucking... Ideally, she wouldn't cry. Yeah. Yeah, if she wasn't depressed sometimes. Fucking asshole. I'd put up with her shit. Yeah.

And she's hot. And she fucked you when you were fat as shit. That's the thing. It's like, I honestly, I do want to go back and give women who have fucked me in the last six months like a medal of honor. Because man, am I fat. My dick has barely worked. I'm fat as shit. When it has worked, I'm winded fast.

I'm winded fast. You got to do a lot of work. Can you get on top? Or I'm busting. Yeah. Or we're getting my dick to the point where it's like, all right, we're a few bus away. Now I can fucking tell, you know, like certain women. I like, I just want it like in that guy. Like, oh, I would. Yeah. He had none of that. It's crazy, dude. Yeah. It's like you're, you're like, you forget unless she was like, unless she's been a row, unless she's been difficult the whole time and maybe she didn't help him. Like,

I guess there's a possibility that, you know, we're taking an uncharitable view, but I don't think that's the case. Well, he diminishes up top. He says, we've been dating or, I don't know, fucking for two years. Right, right, right. Yeah, come on, bro. We also live together. Who casually helps you lose 160 pounds? I kind of... But that's the other thing. We don't really know, like, if she was like... If she was like a...

I don't think this is the case, but if she was, like, not helpful or even, like... Because, honestly, sometimes I've dated... I've been dating girls where it's, like, I'm trying to lose weight and, like, just our fun little lifestyle, it's hard to, like, you know, like... Yeah. Like, we go out, we get... Yeah. It's, like, we're drinking, whatever, and it's, like, they haven't really been supportive. And that has kind of annoyed me sometimes. Like, these are flings, like, whatever, just, like, I would stop seeing them or whatever. Yeah.

And so maybe that's the case, I guess, but that's not the case here. Yeah, he was probably depressed also when he was overweight. True, true. So it probably was matching his energy. Right, right, right. And now that he's like, can we work out? You become more active. You're like a little bit more like, oh, I need to go out. I need to like, you know what I'm saying? Yes, that's possible. So he's probably like, probably not on the same page. Could be. Level as she is. Yeah, and he doesn't feel the need to get her on his level. He's like, new bitch o'clock. I just checked my watch. It's new pussy o'clock.

It's head from some bitch from a bar 15. She's tearing up. I also have another car. Oh, my God. We get it. Your fucking mom died. Shut the fuck up. I got a dick in two balls.