Bonus #67 - Live Call Show Vol. 8 [PATREON PREVIEW]
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Okay, next up, let's go to Heartbroken. Uh-oh, Heartbroken. Heartbroken, are you there? What up, man? What's up, brother? Oh, what's up? Do you have questions about your wedding or something, Heartbroken? No. I have a very peculiar situation here. Hit us with it. So I met this girl three years ago, and she was a single mother of two, and...

We got really close for a year, really good close friends. And then we got even closer. We were exclusively fucking for eight months. Okay. And everything was sweet. Everything was great. Everything was great until we added a title to the situation. And we were dating for the last year.

Okay, keep going. So you were fucking for eight months. Yeah. And you didn't live together? You lived in separate places? No, separate places. Gotcha. Okay, interesting. Hooking up for eight months in kind of an organic way and then...

You for a year you were in a you were like we're boyfriend girlfriend now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay, and Everything was cool for a while. I caught her cheating on me twice in that year. I took her back both times You know because again the kids they're all I know it was like it was it was just it was okay, I guess You're a good guy cuz

because citing the kids as a reason to take her back means you're a good person because other people be like bitch you have kids you think I'm fucking putting up with you sucking dick on the side but you're like these kids I'm worried about them you're toast you're too nice of a human being man anyway tell us how it goes fill us in give us all of it

All right. So last month I took a charge, a felony charge for dabs in the state of South Dakota. Oh, my God. What a fucking ridiculous place. Fuck the Dakotas. And I took it and I stopped her from catching the charge herself because, again, the kids. Oh, my God, dude. You're a fucking idiot.

They were her dabs? Or were they both of your dabs? They were both of our dabs. Okay, alright, alright. That's a little better. That's a little better. It should only have been one of you. No, no, no. They're all mine. It's all mine. Everything's mine. They're like, you sure? I was like, yeah, yeah. Everything's mine. No, that's better because they would have just gotten both of you for the same exact charge. Yeah. He left me four days later.

Damn. And she's like, I want to take a break. I want to take a break because, you know, the stipulation we got evicted from our place was that her parents were going to take her in. She had to leave me. What? So she's like, yeah. How old are you both, by the way? They don't like me because I'm brown. I see. How old are you guys? How old are you guys? I'm 27 and she's 24. I see. Okay. And so they took her back and we took a break, you know, or so I thought.

So for two weeks, she's telling me, you know, that she really wants to be with me. She misses me, blah, blah, blah. And she's like hitting me up for every problem that she has. And I'm there for her, of course, stupidly. And I get screenshots from one of my buddies. And she was on Tinder day one. Yeah. Of us. Yeah. And I was like, holy shit. So I hit her up and she's leaving me unseen, like crazy about this situation. Yeah. So I do it any day.

Oh, no, dude. Yeah. Bro. What do you do?

What are you talking? Congratulations. You don't have to be a stepfather at 27 anymore. Yeah. You're single. Find a good fucking dabs attorney. Start your life over, bro. There's no what do you do? What are you fucking talking about? What do you do? I just I miss her. Yeah, dude. Everything. That's how it works. That's how that works. It's going to suck. But like, come on, man.

I mean, really think about what you just told us and the fact like, hey man, this fucking girl who's this like, you know, she cleared, whatever. This single, this young single mother of two whose parents don't like me, who I took a drug charge for, who has cheated on me multiple times, asked to take a break and has been sending nudes to 40 men and on Tinder.

What do you think I should do about that? There's not even a question here, buddy. Like what else do you want? The world has made the decision for you, right? She's immature. She's going to string you along. She'll try and take advantage of you in any way that she can if you're going to let yourself do that. She doesn't give a fuck. She's so out. She couldn't be more out.

She's like, damn, I can get away with this too. It's like, damn, he'll take a charge. He'll do whatever I... I can fuck around and I can come back. Right. And so your challenge here is...

completely cut her out of your life. And by the way, I blocked her. Huh? I blocked her on everything. More than that. We've all been, we've done the initial block. And then a week later, we're creating new fucking Instagram account. We're creating a fake, like bunny page to be like, Mr. Hops, the little influencer. And it's like, just to see what the fuck she's up to.

You got to stick. You got it, bro. You're in a tough spot here because I'm going to guess you must either not gotten that much pussy before or she had incredible pussy or something. She seems insane. Two kids kind of young, completely unstable. She probably sucked dick out of control. If I had to guess. You're spot on, man. I'm a keen observer of human nature.

And you're just, you're fucked, bro. You're fucked. You gotta stay completely away. There is no conversation. There's no nothing. You have to keep your distance.

I would say try and date, you know what I mean? Just so that when she... Not if, when she comes back to try and take advantage of you in some way. I don't know what that is right now. That you have... You don't let that happen. You're a weak man, I can tell. You're going to let her do it. So I say get a different girlfriend fast. So that like... So that like you just aren't tempted to go back to this girl. You're just...

You can't, dude. You got to be completely out of here, bro. You're not going to win with her, man. There's no positive outcome here for you. Zero. Zero.

Yeah, I felt like that was the problem. Yeah. I think I needed to hear it from someone else. Yeah, you definitely did. You can't win. You're not going to miraculously find peace in this relationship with her ever. No, and she might at some point stop being a dumb bitch, but it will not be with you. It will not be with you. That's not how people work, bro. I'm sorry. So, yeah, start fresh. And listen, call us back when you get other pussy.

All right, man. Okay? Get your homework assignment. Fuck someone else. I'll update you on that. I'll update you on that. All right, dude. Good luck. Sorry that happened, brother. Good luck. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Damn, dude. Might be heartbroken, too. That's fucking brutal. Fucking all that shit in South Dakota. Living life in South Dakota. Just got to go to fucking jail. You can't smoke a fucking joint out there. That's so funny. We're a fucking dog shit town. Yeah, we should have told him to leave South Dakota. Tell him that.

I'm going to go to a better place. Just leave South Dakota, dude. Fuck, I feel bad. Yeah, I should have given them more. I just, I was so appalled by this. Sometimes people just have to say these things out loud to a neutral party. Yeah. Like when you say it to your friends and they're all wrapped up in your bullshit. Yeah. But you need to, honestly, most of this show is having people say out loud what the problem is so they can hear how fucking stupid they are. Totally. All right. All right.