Anthony Devito [PATREON PREVIEW]
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18, I'm playing basketball just out on the blacktop. Everyone called me my last name, DeVito. There's a guy there that looks a lot like me. That's your dad's last name? No, my last name has changed. But his family knew. So a guy comes up to me after the game, harmless enough, never really seen him before. But he looks like you a little bit. He looks like me a little bit. And then he's like, your last name is DeVito? I'm like, yeah. He's like, I'm your cousin from your father's side. So I'm jacked. Of course. Just like you said, man, my whole family is older women.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like a guy my age. There's a fucking 20-year-old dude. Jesus Christ. So I run home, tell my mom, and she's like, I got to tell you about your dad. God damn. And then, yeah, she sits down, tells me he was a criminal, he was a made guy, but still couched it with, wanted me to still have, he was a good man, specifically.

So I couldn't, I wouldn't have like shame, you know? So she was like, you know, he's a, he's a good guy caught up in a bad thing that he couldn't get out from under. So like, I was like, all right, cool. It makes you seem like maybe at gambling debts or maybe something, you know, something like that. And like, you know, it's a hierarchical organization. You could be a lot of things, you know what I mean? He could just be like, it could be higher up. He could be a bookkeeper. Sure. Right. You know? So then at 30, my ex girlfriend, um,

I just... So your whole life you just don't pry? No, because I have this weird feeling that if I pry, I'm going to find out things that I could never go back from. And it's going to burden me. Yeah, absolutely. And even though I know it's a compelling fact and people are interested in organized crime and all these things... That is so fascinating that you're just like...

Because take the organ... Exactly. It is compelling. Yeah, yeah. So many losers... Of course. ...watch The Sopranos and they're like, I'm like that. I would be like that. And you're like... You have proof that a blood relative is a made man in the fucking 90s. You know, 80s, 90s, like when all this stuff is happening, all the goodfellas, all that...

Like it's possible, you know, like it's totally possible that you're connected in real ways to the real people and some of the cool, like this weird mom. And you're just like 70s, 80s guys are like the height of it all. Yeah. And so that's one level. Right. That's one thing where it's like plenty of people would be like, but then also just like, I kind of want to know what my dad is like anyway. And you have the maturity to be like, don't dig into this. Nothing good is coming. Like I can tell you right now.

I'm instantly looking into it. I'm joining the mob. I'm getting killed. I'm Jackie Jr. I'm the guy who's like, dude, I knew it. I knew I was in the fucking mob. I knew I was cool. I buy a gun. I get fucking, I get assassinated that day. Like if that happens to me, 100%. I'm like, I'm like, I'll do whatever I need to do to restore my father's honor. That's how I'm behaving 100%. I'm like, ma, stay out of it.

You don't get it. He walks out the door and immediately shut. Like, not even by the mafia. Just like someone, I'm robbed by two like hoodlums who want my, I spent $800 on a leather jacket to look cool for the mafia. I'm beaten to death by 14 year olds. That's almost like, I don't know man, that's just like a funny sketch. That's so funny. Yeah.