#84 - Blake Griffin
02:04:10 Share

Welcome everybody to Stavi's World, 904-800-STAR. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. This is the first time we've ever had an athlete equal to me on the podcast. This is the first time I've ever felt a stalemate in terms of alpha energy coming off of the... This is like, yeah, it's like, you know when there's two beams in like Dragon Ball and they're like...

right in the center and you're just like who's gonna fuck that's how I feel in terms of athletic prowess right now and just pheromones and everything like that it feels like an absolute match we got my boy Blake Griffin on the couch what's up dog thanks for coming yeah of course dude thanks for coming to Queens uh

First time in Queens? Oh, yeah. It actually is. I love doing that to people. Dude, I was really enjoying driving through, just taking it all in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's awesome. Nobody here, all the Yemeni bodega guys have no idea who you are when you walk in. That's the best part about this neighborhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They just see you as an opportunity to sell two chopped cheeses. I got a sandwich from a deli one time. I was heading out to Long Island. I stopped and the guy goes, he made this sandwich extra big. He goes, big sandwich, big man. I was like, thanks, buddy. That is awesome. That is the funny thing about...

being, I mean, famous is one thing, but like just a huge guy. It's just, that is the, that's like the primitive version of fame where it's like just being gigantic. It's like, like if we went back to like monkeys, monkeys would look at the biggest monkey. You know what I mean? Like cavemen would look at like, you would go to a bar and it's like, there was a, you know, there was a guy who was around, he was like seven feet tall in Baltimore. And it was like, people would just glare at him. So it's like,

It's only compounded by actually being fucking famous. I remember when I was a kid, my friend's dad played in this softball league and we were there. And there was this guy on his team, he was 6'8". And as a kid, I was like...

Yeah. And you forget that now people look at me like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have no idea who I am. Totally. You just walk in and somebody's like, God, the guy's shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you walk in, you duck underneath the doorway and people are like, oh my God. Oh, man. Yeah, absolutely. And there's like, the people just look up to you. Like, it's funny because stripped of fame and like what people know you of, it's like you're an impressive guy. Whereas like,

stripped of if you don't know who I am it's like get the fuck out like people laugh at me laugh in my face like a hot woman will be like like when I was I was toothless for two years and so and it would be like if people knew who I was I was like I never had a bigger drop off in my life than like people being like fans of me and then not just I'm some fat guy with no toothpaste

The fluctuation, the way beautiful women would treat me was so hilarious. There's like five hot women at that time. I was in a relationship for most of it. They treated me really nice and then every other hot woman in the world was like, I just look like a fat sex offender. Right?

You hear like audible ooze. I can hear you. What was that? Remember that time we were at brunch and the waitress couldn't stop laughing at me? Do you remember that? Where? It was here. It was like fucking, yeah. It was like Big P was there with us. When I went to order, this waitress was kind of hot and she was taking everybody's order. She was over it, you know, Sunday brunch. And then I start talking and she smiles and I'm like,

oh, this bitch wants a little piece of the sausage. And then I look over at our friend. He's dying laughing. He's like, dude, that girl was laughing at you for being toothless. And I was like, oh, right. I don't have a fucking tooth. And she was going back and telling her friends. And you could tell she was laughing at me because she did that thing where people feel bad and try and give you too much respect afterwards. You could see her like,

putting on like a face to be like yeah absolutely yeah yeah yeah like giving me a personal like thank you for coming afterwards and it's like damn dude this bitch treated me like a fuck like a guy don't worry about tip yeah i don't really care i don't give a fuck it's fine but then i have to zoom out and i'm like

she is 100 correct i was just living life toothless for so i feel bad for my girlfriend at the time you know my ex because she did at the time i remember being like she's being kind of a about this whole toothless thing she was like remember to wear the tooth when we meet my parents i'm like oh my god fine and one time i went to like meet work friends of hers and she was like and i didn't bring the tooth because like in my head i was like i'm the toothless guy she was like

She's like, you didn't bring the tooth to me? Like all my colleagues? And I was like, what are they, fucking losers? And then it's like, oh, right. They have perfect teeth? Oh, yeah, yeah. What is she, a dentist? Yeah. Last time I checked, you didn't work for an orthodontist, babe. Can we go eat wings? And I'm still like, just all my other etiquette is horrible, too. Yeah.

I'm just a boorish, toothless, fat, way too ugly for her guy. Like, of course her fucking friends didn't like me. But, you know, you get a little fucking, you know, space from that and you're like, oh, yeah. Everyone was right. Everyone was right.

about how they felt about me the whole time. Turns out. Yeah, she's like a saint for putting up with me at all. Wow. Yeah. All these people thought she was doing charity work. Yeah, I'm not, yeah, I don't want to tell any more embarrassing stories, but yeah, there was one where it was like, oh man. Sorry, I didn't mean to pile on there.

No, no, no. You kind of got me going. Yeah! Yeah, you piece of shit. Yeah, it was kind of a tough time, Blake.

But now look at you, dude. Yeah, dude, look at me now. A different type of weird fat guy. A fat guy with weird long balding hair. Slightly altered. Much fatter, by the way. At least 70 pounds fatter than what I'm talking about. It's like when you take a picture and it's crooked and you just make it crooked the other way.

That's fully what I've done to myself, dude. I am sad now that I can't... Like, I've talked about this a lot, but that I will never be toothless with this hair. That's the fucking... That's the great... Did you get, like, a full implant? Yeah, full implant. Full implant. It's chipped, though. And you had a little popper in her. I had the... Yeah, I had that thing. You ever have any dental issues? Yeah, I got my forefront teeth knocked in and caught my freshman year of college. Really? Yeah.

Actually, no, I'm sorry. It was the day school was starting. Oh, my God. Kids were on campus my freshman year. Wow. Playing pick-up when I get my first four teeth locked in. You're playing pick-up. It's not even like fucking a real thing. Playing pick-up. I had to go to school, whatever. Get the fuck out of here. They put a thing. This guy, the poor dentist or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, this is going to hurt. I was like, fuck. He just takes my teeth off.

And bends them back straight. And kind of like puts them like that. Which I'm pretty sure. You should ask your ex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If that's how dentists are supposed to do it. We were just riffing that she worked for a dentist, Blake. I don't know if you. I was kidding. Totally, totally. Dude, and then so he puts like these things. He puts a wire across my front four teeth. Yeah. A wire across my front four teeth. So what, they like kind of chipped or what? They were just fucked up. No, they just bent.

They had just gone in. The root broke on these two, so these two are fake. Oh, fuck. Because they were going to die and turn gray, and they were just like that guy with the gray teeth. With the weird little gray teeth. Dude. First day, I go to a party at night and I have a fucking wire across my teeth. I'm like, of course. Oh, my God. How long did you have to be wired up? It was like, dude, it was only like...

Literally two days or something like that. So you have a weird little wire and then they put implants in or no? I had that just to like hold and then I had to go do like root canals. Wow. Immediately. Holy shit. Which was also awful. And then you had flippers? Or they gave you straight real teeth right away? And then I...

I was able to save my teeth for a little bit, but then they were going to eventually die. And then once I got to the league, I got those bad boys fixed up. Got a bag and fixed your teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Got a little walking around money. Yeah, you got a little front tooth money. That's so fucking funny. So that whole time that you're the fucking, and you're like the man at OU too. You're like the fucking. Well, like my freshman year, I hadn't even proved myself yet. So like, no, not really. I'm just a fucking regular freshman. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Going to parties. Hey, yeah, I got, I got knocked into two people. What's up guys? It's pretty cool. I was pretty tough about it. Yeah, I think I'm going to go to the NBA. Can I have some pussy please?

I'm normally going to Los Angeles or something. Something real cool. Clippers. Maybe the 76ers. They sent a vet from the farming program here at Oklahoma University to knock my teeth backwards. That doesn't even sound like a real vet. They definitely got the guy who's working on donkey teeth. Like the George Washington teeth? Yeah.

We had these laying around. That's so fucking funny, dude. Yeah, it was tough stuff. Wow, so you had fucked up teeth the whole time. So even in your sophomore year, because you were there two years, right? I was there two years, yeah. But they were fine, right? They looked like my normal teeth. Gotcha. But these two were going. Did they hurt? Because this shit hurt for years before I did anything about it.

Yeah, they did her yeah, they hurt they these two these front to her these ones were fine. Yeah, the route didn't break They didn't bend as much or get pushed back in as much we use that way you had to fucking wear a mouth guard. I

Honestly, yeah. From that moment on, I wore a mouthpiece every single... Every practice, every game, I was mouthguarded up. Dude, I didn't go anywhere without it. That's so fucking funny, dude. I did not want to experience that again. Oh, dude, that's fucking brutal. And we were... Dude, we were playing this... There's like a smaller college in Oklahoma. They brought their guys up and that's who we were playing against. We were playing pick-up. And they were like...

You know, you bring guys that aren't at a, you know, not the same level. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, you know, they're kind of like, fuck these dudes. Of course. They're playing hard. Oh, dude, that's their fucking Super Bowl. And me and this guy get tangled up, and he just fucking elbowed right to the... And immediately I was just like... You're like, oh! Oh! I'm just a freshman! Oh!

I didn't have my parking pass yet. Yeah. It was like, immediately I was like, oh yeah, something's wrong. That sucks, dude. Yeah, I mean, I cracked my shit on a chicken wing, so we did, we both got tooth injuries in incredibly on-brand ways. Dude,

That was the athletic prowess you were talking about. I was fucking those boys up. I really was. They're awesome. You know, anytime you get a chicken wing, you know, thinking like, yeah, you know, trying to show out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was doing the tomahawk jam equivalent of biting into a chicken wing.

I've been in a tree with enough force to break my tooth, dude. It really was a sobering moment where I was like, what am I doing here, man? That's great. That's really great. That's fucking hilarious. All right, I love it. Dental issues, but never as a kid. You never give a fuck. Do you go to... Because I remember my family, we just straight up did not go to the dentist until my father...

built the booths in a diner that a dentist owned. And then he almost like bartered us like dental care. He was like, we'll throw in a booth if you look at my son's teeth. Your dad's a... He's a carpenter. Nice. Yeah, that's kind of handy. Yeah, if he did anything for... I mean, our house is in complete disrepair. There was literally... I'm not even... I wish I was kidding. Ten years ago, there was like a hole that squirrels were burrowing into.

And it was like, we live in Baltimore City. This isn't Oklahoma, right? This is not like some, oh, some beautiful property with an acorn tree. No, it's a shitty row house that my dad just never patched the roof of. Yeah. But it was, you know, he would build this like hilariously gigantic gaudy furniture that we didn't have space for, but he would make it like custom. So all, he would work really hard on shit that was like,

And he never thought about the future. Like, he put a very small TV hole in it. It took him, like, eight years to build this beautiful maple furniture. And then, like, within one year, they came out with flat screens TVs. And he had to, like, put a little table in the square thing. We just had, like, a flat screen standing outside of it. It was so, yeah. He just keeps upgrading it. Oh, yeah. No, he was so, it was so funny. But, yeah.

Those old school TVs, remember how, I mean, everybody knows how fucking heavy those things were. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I remember we got like, my dad comes home with like this like giant, giant, I don't know, at the time it was giant. Of course. For our house it was giant. Yeah. It was tiny. But it was probably like 50 inches and I was like, whoa. Oh man, yeah. Those TVs are awesome because like as a kid, because we had like one, we had one family like that was, there was one rich family in Greektown, which made their money because,

their machine shop's roof collapsed and they sued the roof manufacturer. So it wasn't even like anyone was a great businessman. They just like came up big lawsuit wise. But I remember they had one of those fucking big ass TVs. And then I saw a picture of it and like,

It's like they're just giant pixels. Like they weren't. Oh yeah. The picture on those is hilarious but you were just like holy shit. Yeah. It was incredible because we had like this probably like literally a 30 inch my whole life and then my dad comes home with this fucking TV from Best Buy and me and my brother and my dad are like trying to

It almost didn't fit through the door. My mom was like, why did he get this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's fucking awesome. Would your dad just bring home random shit? What was the setup? Because you're in Oklahoma. Look, I've been to Oklahoma once. It was...

one of the worst I mean look it was so dog shit and we were in like some shitty casino I mean the casino people were nice the gig was nice which casino I couldn't tell you it was like close to a shittier state shit

Oh, like Arkansas? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember being like, Jesus Christ, this place sucks dick. I don't know. Yeah. I got back to get closer to Sheen and say, I'm like, oh, Arkansas? Yeah, yeah, but you're right. I'm like, oh, yeah, thank God we're not from Arkansas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But honestly, yeah, dude. But anyway, I remember being there and being like, because I was like, all right, whatever, it's fucked. Because in my head, I had done casino gigs and like the casino fucking...

The buffet is awesome, right? It's like when you go to the one in Connecticut or whatever. And I was like, oh, there'll be fresh fruit. Dude, it was like a school cafeteria lunch. A school cafeteria was allowed to evolve unchecked into itself. So it was like patties dipped in teriyaki sauce. It was like weird. All the Chinese food was just...

It was like that Simpsons episode where everything goes back to the same kitchen. And it's like, oh, put in a different sauce. And it was like, there was no fruit. You had to like literally purchase a little ass cup of fresh fruit. It was like $7. And it was, I remember I was there for three days. And I was like, I wanted to kill. And I was not a healthy guy, mind you, right? This is peak toothless, peak toothless me, you know? And I was like, literally, I was like, I need water.

I need fucking vegetables. And that was me in Oklahoma. And they took us out on the town once. And like their big restaurant was a burger place that was like...

Again, just frozen patties. Was it Choctaw? Maybe. Probably Choctaw. Probably Choctaw. No disrespect to the good people of Choctaw. They did some bad stuff to you with those blankets and whatnot. And you deserve to get yours with casinos. I'm just saying, I don't want to be there ever again in my life. Unless the check's right.

I knew a couple people in Oklahoma. Yeah, I know. I'm talking to the fucking mayor right now. Oklahoma City's like, you know. Sorry to shit on the state. You're from immediately for 10 straight minutes. I got to do some rebranding here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Thunder are pretty good. The Thunder are cool. The Thunder are cool. I'll give you that. We got a Riverwalk now? The Riverwalk. Hell yeah. I want to go to OKC. I will say that. I want to see a game. And I also do, there's a comedy club over there. I do want to go to that. Bricktown or something like that. Yeah.

It's actually like the people in Oklahoma are just like...

salt of the earth yeah like the nicest people i believe that like you i was back home recently visiting my parents and like i'm driving to their neighborhood everybody that's out or walking you everybody waits for each other everybody yeah yeah yeah and i don't like come back to la i'm like oh you can't do that here especially i'm like fuck no no no no but see i am i am that traditional fucking east coast yeah type of guy that's like that does make me uncomfortable

to getting waved at nonstop, which I got to change, I guess, because it is nice. And Greek people are kind of like that too whenever I go back to Greece. But I just like, there is a little bit of the like,

I like people that are don't don't want anything to do with you and then it's like but if you need them they will help you out I do think there is that element of it yeah but I look I believe I'm just saying like I can't imagine because also you just seem like a fucking big city guy like you know what I mean like you seem like the kind of guy who like I can't imagine like what the fuck does yeah yeah yeah you seem like the poster the poster boy for changing yeah

For leaving it all behind. Yeah, sorry guys. But like, what the fuck? I guess what does Oklahoma, what does like a childhood there look like? What was your parents set up like? Because I guess this all started with a TV conversation. Like I was poor in Baltimore, but my dad ran his own cash business. So we were poor like 92% of the time. And then there was like...

10 days sprinkled throughout the year which was when my dad got paid for a huge job and it was like we're going to Costco we're getting every snack imaginable we're getting Nintendos we're getting a TV and then we're poor again and make this last so I'm just like but what is it what does Oklahoma look like so both my parents were public school teachers oh wow

In Oklahoma. Oklahoma is one of the... Yeah. At the time, I don't know what it is now, but even recently, there was a huge teacher strike, but it has to be bottom five. Oh, yeah. Bottom ten as far as public school teacher competition. I believe that, yeah. So we didn't grow up with any money. That sucks, dude. No money. That sucks, dude. But my dad was a basketball coach. He's won...

Tons of state championships. Oh, cool. 12 maybe state championships in his career. And so people – he went to go coach at a private school so my brother and I could go there. Nice. And so when he went there, people were super generous. It's a much wealthier crowd. And so somebody gave him a Best Buy gift certificate. So he bought the TV. I remember randomly we got one of those –

freezers you keep in your garage to take the lift up. It's still in my parents' house today. I bought them a new house. They brought the chest freezer. The scraps from the upper class in Oklahoma. Just to get steaks in there and stuff. What are you doing?

So he would get random gifts. I see, I see. That's nice. And so that's how we upgraded anything. And remember when the AOL cards? Oh, dude, those were currency, bro. Minutes of online. We would all go in and grab a couple of these. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have seven minutes to find a picture of Trish Stratus' tits. I have seven minutes to find Lita's breasts from WWF. I would go on LimeWire and just type in like,

LimeWire, there was nothing better than LimeWire. It was like you would, because we had dial up, obviously. And so my big move was going to bed when my parents couldn't check, didn't know if the phone line was going. And you would start downloading four pornos. And then it would be like, it was like leaving the nets out and then coming back after a day of fishing and being like, what do we got? What's the harvest today? And being like, oh, hell no.

oh, this one was gay porn disguised as blondes with big tits. That would happen a lot. It was never when it was labeled, but man, when you got a nice... Or actually, I would try to download movies. Like, I would download, like,

Dumb and Dumber or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would end up being like dubbed over in like Chinese or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still watch it and I'd be like, because I knew all the lines so I was just like, still watch it. Wow, what a wholesome guy. I never in my life downloaded anything that was not pornography off of LineWire. I, uh...

Sorry, Mom. Yeah, I downloaded everything. Yeah, I got you. Did you download anything that wasn't porn? I mean, some music from time to time, obviously. I downloaded a lot of music on Kazaa. I was a Kazaa fan. I never got on the LimeWire. Oh, I was on both. Wait, because it was Kazaa, and then I think I went LimeWire. Then I went FrostWire, I think. Those were like the progressions. Oh, I never had FrostWire. It was kind of a premium thing only in Oklahoma. You pieces of shit in Baltimore. Yeah.

We didn't get Frost Wire. Well, the thing is Oklahoma had dial-up until like four years ago. So even Baltimore had fucking better internet than you at the time. We were off the wires at the time. Well, once I could afford a second phone line, I didn't have to worry about it anymore. So who really cares? Never. I was never Frost. But there definitely was a move because I lost the juice and we had to move on to LimeWire for sure. Yeah.

My brother convinced my mom to put the, to get the, our, our thing, like the burner CD burner in there. Dude, that was huge. That was huge. And I was like, dude, making your own CDs. The Muse, oh yeah. I had like a, I had one of those CD flip books once I got my car. That's huge. I'd get in there like, pfft.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Illegally downloaded Jay-Z. Absolutely, dude. It's like the off blueprint. Totally, yeah, dude. Some songs don't actually work. No, no. There's just like a 50 Cent song in there for no reason. Or it would be like the dubs over, the weird dubs, or like the guy recorded from the radio. That was always fun.

I love that. You never knew. What was the first car? What was your first car? I had a 1991 Honda Accord. And when I was 16, I was 6'8". I only grew like another inch. So I was like... Scrunched as a bitch. Now this is living.

Playing Wu-Tang. Playing Eric Cartman singing Wu-Tang somehow. That was also fun. Eric's my brother's car, and he got the CD player, the removable one that you always had to take out. Yeah, you have to take it out. Of course, of course. And he had the, not the rims, but the little caps you put on to make it look like rims. Oh, hell yeah, dude. On the court. Fuck yes, dude. Tint it out. Those two huge motherfuckers. Yeah.

And then when I turned 16, they got him like an old shitty Tahoe. Oh, damn. He could actually stretch out. Yeah. But little Blakey had the Accord. Yeah. Little Blakey had the Accord. Literally, my dad and I were driving to a basketball game, and I looked down, and I watched it go to like 200,000 miles. Wow. I was just like, holy shit. I mean, reliable car. Reliable. Yeah, yeah.

I love that shit, dude. My first one was a Chevy Blazer, a giant Chevy Blazer. It was awesome. We called the car Stavros II. We had a lot of great times in that car. Who was the first of your friends to get a car? Remember how the first guy to get a car was just like, oh, we are...

I feel like before I had a car, we would whip my mother's Dodge Grand Caravan quite a bit. You had a car, but we weren't really hanging out in high school that much. Because Eldest had moved away. We grew up together, and he had moved to the Burbs. His family got... Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got out. He lived in absolutely the worst apartment out of all of us, but they got out quick. So it was more like you would come, and it would be like a field trip. We would meet up.

But I feel like we would whip Big P's. Did Big P get a car? Who got a car? I don't think he had a car. I think he had like a big... What does family have? Like an expedition or something? Oh, they had the huge expedition. Luxury. I feel like it was the caravan. I feel like we did whip my mom's car around a little bit. I think the van was going to use a lot. There was a summer where the van was like... Remember that time we tried to steal that girl's gas container? Remember that time I got fucked up on that trampoline?

At the party? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, just getting no pussy whatsoever. Just getting so violently fucking ill and getting no pussy and then eating at the diner afterwards. Then the boys just hitting the diner in the Dodge Grand Carrier. Thinking I'm cold chain smoking like a pack of cigarettes at a party. Not talking to any women. Not talking to any women.

Not talking to any women smoking. A mysterious time. Smoking Black and Miles. Inhaling Black and Miles and getting a headache. He's lighting up another one while this one's finishing. I can't not be smoking. Drinking Malibu because we were too big of pussies to drink actual fucking liquor. What was Alizé? Oh, Alizé. Especially after the Lil Wayne cribs.

Watching a lot of, I mean, listening to a lot of Lil Wayne, a lot of the drought. Oh, man. What's, is that, were you guys, I just imagine Oklahoma teenage shit being like taking different, going to like abandoned fields and having parties. Is that what it is? The parties were just in fields? I mean, obviously, like if somebody's parents, because I went to like a private school, like,

Everybody had money, so everybody's parents' houses were insane. Oh, that's nice. So if somebody's parents went out of town... Oh, the classic. There was definitely this... You would go to the back of this neighborhood and go down this dirt thing, and then you had to... I had to gun my... The accord? My accord. You had to get out. But I definitely caught air once I got over it.

And I'd be like, one of the cabs would fall off. I'd have to get out and put it back on. But yeah, then you'd pull out and it'd just be like this open field. Oh, fuck yeah. And everybody would just park their cars all facing, you know, in a circle. Incredible. Lights on and you just... Everybody just fucking getting fucked up, drinking LSA. I didn't like to... I didn't really like...

drink in high school that much. Because you were like, you still had to get out of Oklahoma, dude. My family was depending on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I would just hold a beer and be like... Yeah, nice. It is funny. You forget athletes when they take that shit seriously. Because I guess we didn't grow up without... No one had any athletic talent. None of us fucking had any chance. And we were... And it was...

Because once you abandon your sports dreams in like eighth... Like I was on the eighth grade basketball team and then I just... I've been this height since eighth grade. And then I went to freshman year basketball tryouts and they were like... Like the coaches were like...

They're like, all right, let's do one thing of suicides. Okay, great, you're cut. It was like, I swear they did one round. Like the first cuts came in 17 minutes and it was like every little fat kid was out. And then like, you know, I played football, but even at that point I was like, what am I going to fucking play football? Am I going to make it to the NFL? So it was like, it became cool to be fucked up and sell drugs and do drugs and shit. But you forget that like actual, or I forget that it's like actual athletes do

You guys fucking had to focus on your health and shit. I mean, even in college, dude, like I was just talking to my boy and he was like, dude, I would drink every night of the week except for like, it was like Tuesday. I was like, why two? Like, if you're drinking every night of the week, why not just do Tuesday? Exactly. You took a break. He's like, yeah, I gained 40 pounds. And I was just thinking to myself, like, dude, we'd go out, but we don't, we don't

truly could only go out like maybe one night a week yeah you know what I mean which probably saved me definitely dude definitely but like yeah I mean but so what's high school sorry to cut you off but like I just would love what's like the crew like because we definitely had our crew of a few dumb asses where it was like me Eldis our boy the mysterious Big P who we keep mentioning Big P was there Big P's car yeah

Who's this big piece? No, the world will never know. And then we had like a couple like, you know, some like tertiary friends that would cycle in and out. Did you have like a set crew of boys? Yeah, so one of my best friends to this day, one of my best friends to this day, Josh...

He went to a different school, but we played sports growing up together. He was kind of in our group, but not at our school. It was different, but at our school, it was me. He was a broke bitch. He can't get in there. Not with us and our 60-inch TVs. So it was Tucker, Justin.

And Wilson. And what are their addresses as we're going full names? Oh, shit. Sorry, guys. No, we can bleep it out. Okay, Tucker, Big T. You know what? That's about the encryption we're doing on our friend Big P. Big T being Big Hitchcock.

Big Cock is what we called him. Big Cock or Big T. And then Big Dub, actually. I'm not even lying. We did call him Big Dub. I love it. I love it. Yeah, that was like our crew. And we were like, we all played basketball. Big Dub played football. Nice. He went on to play college football. Actually, our best friend passed away. He was diagnosed with cancer at like 20. Damn, dude. RIP. And he passed away. But...

Yeah, that was like our crew, man. We all played sports. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we were all like pretty... No one's getting too fucked up. Yeah, I mean... No one's trying to... Sorry, Tucker, but Tucker's probably the one. But still, like very, very like... Of course. You know, nothing crazy. Yeah, yeah. Except I'm guessing you're trying to finger pop a bunch of schoolgirls. Yeah, going to a private Christian school doesn't make hooking up easy. Yeah.

Had to go to the pores, you know? Take off the tie. I had to stop pretending. I'd be at school with everybody. Dude, this girl at my school got a custom baby blue Land Rover when she turned 15, so she could start...

practicing in her car for a driver's test. That's insane. I pulled into my Honda Accord and it's like, new Land Rover, new, for some reason at the time, what's the car? Volvos were popular because I guess they were the safest car. Yeah, sure, sure. So everybody had new Volvos or a Mextera or pickup trucks. Yeah, yeah. In the Accord. I just like... With the fake Spreewells. Yeah, all day. Yeah, yeah.

All day I'd be with my friends, like, cosplaying rich. Yeah. And then I'd go home and be like, oh, shoot, yeah, I forgot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd get in my car after, and I'd be like, oh, yeah. And they probably treated you awesome because you were awesome at basketball. Yeah, it was a nice, yeah, everybody was super nice. Small school was like 75 people a grade. It was K through 12. Damn. So this is literally like the elite of Oklahoma. It was like one of the, yeah, it's one in Oklahoma City. It's one of the better schools. And we're talking, what is this, like,

Gas money? What the fuck? Where are these people's money? Oil? That kind of shit? Yeah, yeah. I mean, kind of all over. Like, people's parents were doctors. You know, it's like all that. But yes, Oklahoma's like oil money. Oil and gas is huge. Chesapeake's like the big... Right. Yeah, like a bunch of my friends now work for... They're like oil and gas engineers, all that stuff. Not to brag, but I got some engineer buddies. Dude, that's fucking cool. If you guys ever need me... That's fucking awesome that you have friends in the oil and gas industry, man. Yeah.

Still propping up the land. Yeah, they just started fracking under a reserve. Under those casinos, they're fracking under them, actually. They're not getting anything. We're playing the long run. Come on, man.

That's fucking awesome, dude. Oklahoma oil and gas, baby. So you had to fucking take the school uniform off and go to the public school girlies? Yeah, where the accord was awesome. Like, holy shit, you see that car? It's got rims. Honestly, though, I would like you'd like bump into a curb or something and one of the things would pop off. Yeah, I love that, dude. Yeah, so whatever. Whatever, man. Cosplaying rich, man.

What are you going to do? I remember I almost got into a rich school. Because Baltimore City public schools are so dog shit. Yeah. That in middle school, you have to test into a couple good schools. And there was a school at the time. And this is when I was 13. At the time, it cost $12,000 a year. For middle school, right? Public? No, no, no. Private. Oh, private. Private school. And like...

No, no, no, no, no. That would be awesome. That would be awesome. They're like, yeah, it's public. So we actually, enrollment's down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's two kids. Just my kids get to go there. But it was like this private school, and I didn't get a scholarship. The only way I was going to go was like, and they offered me like a partial scholarship. And my mom was like, I can get a third job. And I was like, whatever, I'm good. And I'm so thankful I didn't do it because like,

I don't know, man. That's like... I would have been such a dickhead. Because I would not... Being around...

You came out of it fine. It seems like, you know, I mean, you also had like your identity, I think, as an athlete that's got to help. You stay focused. It's like you're not. But like I would have 100% try and fit in with those like dickheads who are all now like finance guys, like vest, boat shoes guys. I would have tried to be one of those guys and thank God. Because then the alternate path is I get to go to Baltimore City Public Schools and like

You have to learn to be funny. Yeah, I was going to say, you probably wouldn't be a comedian. Dude, there's no better way to be a comedian than be a fat white kid in a 90% black school. There's no way you're not going to be. I mean, there is. You're going to be fucking depressed and want to kill yourself. You're going to come out of that better, dude. So I'm so thankful because I would have gotten subsumed by...

Like trying to be a rich kid for sure. Trying to pretend and like feeling not good enough going home being like, you're an embarrassment mom and dad. I wasn't meant to live here. It's like the reverse thing where your friends would drop you off at home and you make them drop you off down the street. You walk like a mile just so your friends don't know. Oh dude, 100%. Did you make good grades? Yeah, I was a good student. I was a good student. You know, I was... It was a lot easier. I mean...

When I was really little, I think I really wanted a positive...

I was a ham from a little age, from a young age. So I wanted just positive feedback. And I just happened to... I think I was one of those kids who happened to be good at standardized tests, right? Like your brain just happens to work that way. And so I got like the top percentile as like a little ass kid, seven, eight. And just the way my mom was pumped at me being smart, I was like, fuck, I have to get awesome grades. And then I started cheating. And then in middle school, I get into this program where it's like...

Because I didn't go to the private school, you would test into the biggest... You would test into it and there's literally like...

six classes spread across baltimore city where they would put like the smartest kids and i was i i ended up being the dumbest kid in the smartest class and i was like whoa i'm not smart i'm fucking stupid as shit i'm gonna start cheating and entertaining these people and like that's what happened i started like i remember one time my proudest moment is i was supposed to give a

I was supposed to give a presentation on like how rain works and biology and you know science or whatever and I just like I totally forgot about it completely just forgot that it was happening and so I took like I put a fucking little I had a chef's hat for an unrelated thing like I think I don't

I don't know why I had a chef's hat, but I wrote God on the chef's hat. And I cut up a bunch of paper and put it in a plastic bag for my lunch. I took my brown paper bag. I cut it up. I took the plastic bag that, you know, and I put rain on the bag.

And I was like, here's how rain works. And I just went up and did my presentation with a straight face. And everyone was just dying. And my teacher, who was like, you know, hothead, big tits. That also was part of it. I just wanted to make her laugh, I think. And it was working for some reason. And she completely gave me an 80%. I remember from my presentation that it's God sprinkling me.

He just had God written on it. Like, well, we didn't learn anything, but we all had fun. Yeah, we all had a good time. Here's an 80 for you. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. So when they threw you in the private school, you were like realized. I had to test. You know, you take a test to see where you, and I was homeschooled before that. Oh, wow. Really? Holy shit. So like just by nature of being homeschooled. Until when? Until seventh grade. What? Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so I was in all the honors classes. Well, at your house. Good job, Blake. Teacher was pretty hot. Yeah, I'm like, classmate, you mean your brother? Yeah.

As one of the cooler kids. I was so popular. All my teachers thought I was a handsome young man. Yeah. That's so fucking funny. When I go to school, I'm like,

in the honors classes yeah with kids I I had no business being in there I mean I was like I I'm you know I'd be sure I know how to add sure sure but I was like I I definitely had that same feeling I was like oh I'm I don't I don't I shouldn't and it kind of stuck because all my friends were in the in the other classes I was doing like the dumb honors English do my honors English class senior year was harder I only went to college for two years but it was harder than any college class ever oh yeah this school was

so hard and sorry mom i'm telling this but yeah i plagiarized my last paper i just like i think i took like my maybe my brothers or something like my teammates yeah and i just i was just like so over it i'm like i'm literally two weeks away from going to oklahoma yeah you're like we had to be there for summer workouts i was like dude i just turned it in yeah you took a friend forget i got a phone call and like

The teacher caught me. Turns out, I didn't even, I just turned in a paper that wasn't even the topic. Yeah, it's like, well, as a young Chinese woman in America, I just find that you're like, did you even read what you took, Blake? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was trying to put myself in someone else's shoes. Yeah, as a young Chinese woman growing up in Oklahoma, it can be really alienating. Yeah.

Yeah, so then I had to spend literally two straight days banging out this paper. That's crazy. I don't even think I reached the word limit. I was just like, again, I was just like, screw it. And I turned it in. He just gave me like a...

know whatever it gave me you don't want to be the you don't want to be the teacher that like stops you from that makes you lose your ncaa eligibility that would be fucking crazy dude yeah this my senior year of high school was it was our school's way too hard dude yeah i mean it's crazy me homeschooled is so wild because i would have never i mean you know

I mean, you have a bizarre life, obviously. Like, homeschooled into, like, thrust into, like, rich and then religious, it sounds like, school. And then as young as fuck. It's crazy when you think about... Like, since we've met and become friends, it really made me realize... Like, I feel like I've become a functional human being, like, last year. And, like, we're literally the exact same age. We were born in 89. And I was like, that blows my mind because it's like, you were thrust into, like...

everyone paying attention to you at what? 21 you got drafted 20. No, I was 20. Yeah. 20, but you sat out. But like, I always say this, like, especially when it comes to sports, like in my situation, like in Oklahoma, I started to get a little bit of notoriety. Sure. So you learn how to like, right. Deal with that. And then I go to the university of Oklahoma and,

And, you know, I was like an All-American in high school. So you get to go play on TV. And like, so now some people are like weird about how much they love basketball. For sure, for sure. I always thought like it's so weird that like sports, like scouts are the only people that can go like watch high school kids exercise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get away with it.

They're like, oh, yeah, the kid's got a real good body. The kid's strong. Nice base on that 14-year-old. Oh, yeah. They're allowed to take notes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They can literally sketch your physique. Be like, I'd like to see his shoulders developed more. We're going to give him a first-round grade. Oh, we're going to put a little weight on that kid. Yeah.

He's going to run real good. Yeah, I guess why aren't there more Sanduskies is the real question. It does feel like if you happen to be a tactical genius and a pedophile, you'd think there'd be one or two more. At least Scouts. Scouts really seems like a perfect place. I mean, you're literally going to watch

high school kids. I mean, that's what sports is. Basketball was created as a PE. It was an exercise. Yeah, yeah. But anyways, I digress. Yeah, yeah. And then you go to Oklahoma, you get to college, and you get a little bit more notoriety, and then you get some national notoriety in college.

And then you get drafted and it just kind of like you slowly like build up to it. Yeah. Totally. It's not like all of a sudden you just pop off. Yeah, okay. But come on, dude. When I'm 21, I'm literally doing fucking dick jokes at a seafood restaurant. You have fucking like reporters from Spain talking.

asking you about fucking Ricky Rubio or whatever. You know what I mean? Yes, you build up to it, but you just have to know about everything. You know what I mean? You're just thrust into such a wild spotlight. And also where you get... I mean, okay, I definitely won't ask about all that stuff. We're just having too good a time. But let's get back to homeschooling for one second because that's fucking insane. I would have never... Because you seem so well-adjusted. That was like the preamble to the like...

For everything insane that's happened in your life, you seem fucking well-adjusted. And your parents must have not been... What was the reason for them homeschooling you? Because my parents were public school teachers and they saw how... Oh, wow. So my parents also... We had an awards company, like a trophy company, basically, out of the back of our house. We had this back room. Your parents believed in the secret. They were like, we want them to win trophies? Manifest. Yeah, yeah.

Your birds are incredibly literal people. We want them to be champions. We will bake a trophy company.

So that was their extra income. Hilarious, dude. What a bad country. Teachers needed to run a small business out of their home. And my mom made the decision to basically stop. And she was able to work that a little bit more. I mean, we made trophies for all the youth leagues. I won trophies that I made. That's crazy. Sometimes I would just come home and take it apart and put the pieces back. Yeah.

I swear, I would keep the big ones, but not to brag. Getting some pretty big trophies. I was 11. You just get a trophy and you're just like, all right, I'm screwed. The amount of trophies I've built in my life. That's hysterical. So you've built, did you ever make a fun trophy? One time I made trophies for my friends. Biggest loser. Smallest dick in Oklahoma.

Big dub. Huge loser. But like, so the homeschool part of it, like we played sports. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah. And we had a neighborhood full of kids. So like, we were always around kids. It wasn't like, you know, there's some homeschool people who are like, they're not around other kids enough. That explains it. The fact that your parents were teachers and that they were actually like,

Because usually homeschooling happens because you're an incredibly bad parent who wants to teach their children that Jesus has been resurrected through a turtle and the earth is flat. And just weird, fucked up shit. But yours actually just...

You were socialized through sports and they were actual teachers. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. And my mom would like, she would do the whole lesson plan. She would teach us everything, every subject. Yeah. And like, dude, it was great, honestly, because we would start, I think like at 9 a.m. Oh, yeah. And I would get all my stuff done by 12. Oh, fuck.

And then me and my brother would eat lunch and we'd just go outside, play whatever sport. And we'd wait for the neighborhood kids to get home. They would get home and then we would literally play all day or go to practice at night or go to a game or whatever. So I was, we were, except for nine to like 12, we were always around kids. And I had my brother too. Totally. You know what I mean? So like that helps. Like I can't imagine being homeschooled as an only child. Oh my God.

Just at home by yourself. Yeah, hanging out. All day with just like, I don't know. So was there a moment where your parents were like, oh, these motherfuckers are actually going to be good at sports? We should get them in real school? I think it was, I don't know. Because we didn't consciously talk about that. Interesting. But they definitely, my dad taught at probably one of the worst inner city schools in Oklahoma.

Like we would go to games, like to go to his games when we were young. And like, it's like the type where you walk through metal detectors. Yeah. Yeah. Like the campus police officer would come out and walk us in. Yeah. And he like, I mean, he won. Make way for the light skin children. We must protect them. Whose kids are that? Oh, the black coach with the red headed wife? Part the way for the light skin children. Hands off.

This is our one shot. That's fucking hilarious. And then so like my dad made the, I mean, my parents made a decision to switch to a school that they would be okay with us going to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. And this school happened to be, you know, a really good school. Oh, yeah. That must, there must be a moment, and I don't know, I mean, your parents seem like actually very well-adjusted people. Oh, they're the best people ever. There must be a moment where you're like, oh, fuck, like,

It's going to happen. Because you're like, I want to be a good parent. I want my child to have the best life. My children have the best life possible. But there's got to be a moment where you're like...

Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Looks like we're moving out of the neighborhood. I might not have to live here too much longer. Respect to them for not overdoing it. No weird AAU stuff. They were great about it, man. My dad's philosophy, even being a basketball coach, my dad's philosophy was when we were young, we played all sports. We would play basketball.

Street hockey. Yeah. Yeah. Baseball, basketball, football, soccer. Like they would let us do everything. Yeah. The only the only rule was once you started a sport, you had to stay with it for that season. Gotcha. Gotcha. I never really I stopped playing baseball when I was like 13. I stopped playing football my freshman year. Yeah. Or after my freshman year, I played one year in high school.

And that's when I started focusing on basketball. And I think that's probably what parents are doing now too much is they get this pressure. Specialization. Yeah, dude. And like, either they're either getting burnt out or they're not developing a good athletic foundation because the better athletic foundation you have by like playing soccer, footwork, coordination, baseball, the better athletic foundation you have.

the easier it is to develop a skill later. And I feel like you don't fuck your... Like, if these kids... Like, I feel like there's a rise in younger people having sports-specific injuries. Yeah. You see, like, blown-out ACLs because it's like they've been just doing those same drills since they were fucking 11. You see kids in high school getting Tommy John surgery. Yeah, dude. I mean, some are doing it preventatively, but... Which is crazy, too. Which is crazy. Like, to electively have surgery to do it later is like, damn. As a fucking child. Yeah. Because you're fucking...

That's what I mean. It's cool that your parents... Because you see all these parents that go the opposite route, where it's like the second their kid has a 1% chance. But it must have been nice to just be like, they're just regular motherfuckers that are... Oh, that's great. That's great. And my dad... It's funny. My dad being a coach was the most relaxed...

He was just like, just play everything. Just play it. And it was great. But you're right. You get a break on your body. You're not doing the same moves basketball year-round. I would go play baseball. I'd go play soccer. You're on a field. You're on a court. Totally. So that was like a... I think that was like a... That's what I'll, with my kid, play every sport you want. Don't specialize until you're like...

Do you have one kid, two kids? Two kids, 10 and 7. 10 and 7. Are they starting to be athletic? Yeah, they both play sports. My son's, he's like, when you were talking about your parents like watching you, I'm like, man, this kid's

This kid's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't tell him that, but I'm proud of you. I always try to tell him, I love how you went and high-fived your teammate. But man, I watch him play, and I'm like, oh my God. He's a freak. He's nice with it, bro. I can't catch him anymore. He's fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. It's pretty cool, man. And my daughter, too. She's seven, so she's like, my son's in that zone of him and his friends are like,

with sports. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? They're in that thing where they really love it. My daughter, like, she likes it. She plays. And she's good. She's tall. But she's like, she's not quite there yet. If she wants to play sports, great. If not, I don't care. Do you want them to, because I always think about that shit where it's like, do you want, it is kind of a, I mean, it's been a great life, obviously. I think it's cool. Like, you do a bunch of cool shit and it's like, I think you're set up really nicely. You have other shit you want to do, which is like, makes retiring less fun.

depressing I would guess because it's like because it's you're like you know um

Because we haven't... This is a barely... We barely prepare or do anything. We've just kind of been talking. But it's like you did recently retire, which is a huge fucking thing for most... You know what I mean? But I do feel like that's... But it is a very specific lifestyle where I just feel like... Do you want that for your kids or do you think about that at all? Only if they want to. I truly mean only if they want to. Because if you are doing it for any other reason than the love of the sport, you will be...

Oh, I'm sure. There must have been like seven footers. To me, it feels like, especially in the NBA because it's so height dependent, there must have been guys who were like hated being in the NBA. I mean, there's guys who would, not publicly, I won't say anybody's name, but I can think of 10 guys off the top of my head right now who were like,

Maybe... Like, some guys, for sure, I know, hated it. And they just played because they were good at it. And it's like, dude, why not? I'm going to make some money and play. And, you know... And those are... There's other guys who just, like...

You can tell they like the idea of being an NBA player, but they don't love the game that much. Sure, sure. Which I get. Yeah. Which I fucking get, dude. I mean, I've always said, I've said the player I've respected the most recently has been James Harden because it's been nothing but like whatever the fuck he wants to do. He comes, he fucking throws that half season, gets fat as shit, goes to play. He's like, I want to play with my boys from when I was 20.

He's just chasing his youth. That fails because of course it would. You know what I mean? There's no way to be like, come on, guys. It's like the boys that were together when we were 21. We're all divorced now. We're getting a condo. That's kind of what that Nets team was. KD, let's get it going again, bro.

Remember? Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then he's like, me and Russ? No, it's actually, at first it was like Russ, then it's like, nah, dude, it's actually KD. And just like how him trying to recapture shit and like being awesome and then like, it's like, damn, the hardest time is kind of hard. Yeah, I mean, he's gotten to every situation he wanted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Which is pretty great. It's fucking cool. Sometimes you gotta take back the power.

You got to take back the power. Take back the power from these owners. Dude, fully. I mean, I literally do love that because I do think so much of people who are mad about player empowerment shit, it's kind of incel vibes where it's like, it's the way incels are mad women can fuck whoever they want. Those guys are like, the only thing we have is making them play where they don't want to. That's the only way my life is better than theirs. You pick up that ball and you dribble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You dribble real good. Yeah.

You live in a city you don't want to live in. You live in a city you never wanted to live in. Even though you have a skill set only 12, like 14 people on Earth can do. You sound oddly like the mean alien from Space Jam. Yeah, yeah, dude. They're going to do whatever I tell them. It's literally like, it's like the only way those guys are the equals to NBA players. Like, sometimes they have to do shit they don't want. And then this bullshit like, what?

Winning is so important. It's like, who fucking cares? It's cool. It's cool as shit. And I'm a competitive person. I'm sure it's fucking awesome. But like, look,

It's clearly not the only thing. You see these guys. You see people who sold out for winning, and it would be cool to win. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, you know, fucking Lance Armstrong had to chop one of his nuts off. And he got cancer because he was doing steroids. Are we sure that's right? I don't know. I didn't do any research. I think you pulled that one out.

I think it didn't help. Put that Blake Griffin, Lance Armstrong. Scientifically, I'm not sure that tracks, but whatever, for the sake of the pod. But you know what I mean? It's like you see people who drove themselves to winning at all costs, and it's like, yes, it's awesome, but it's like that's just as unbalanced to me as just having a good time. I mean, so think about like...

Well, if you win at, like, the Michael Jordan, the Tom Brady, the Lance Armstrong, like, the GOAT level. Yeah. It, like, it's very much a part of your whole thing, right? Totally, totally. But if you just, like, win a championship or you don't. Sure, you get one. Look at, like, look at. Dirk is probably the best example, maybe. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that, like, I mean, he's just a, I mean, he's a legend of all time. But, like, just. That's kind of the thread and the needle. It's to live by himself in that, in that.

in this sport, right? But also like Charles Barkley. Yes, yes, yes. Like is just as well known, maybe more well known as Dirk. More well known. No, that's a great point. I don't have a good pulse on because I'm, you know, basketball. You're in that...

I don't know. Let's ask Elvis. He's a fucking dork. You don't know shit. You definitely are more aware of Charles Barkley than Dirk. Absolutely. Without question. I would say people who don't watch sports know about Charles Barkley more than they do Dirk. For sure. It's like Charles Barkley never won a championship, chased it, almost got it, didn't get it. And so... You know, that's a great example though because like...

you see him and Shaq and it's almost like Shaq goes to rings so fast whenever Shaq let me tell you something Shaq

That's a good one. That's really good, dude. Every single rebuttal is, well, you don't got no more. You don't got rings. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, God, dude, can we get him a rider? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get something else. But I do think that's like, I think when you win at the highest levels, that's so important to you that it's like the rest of your life is just kind of, you know, it's like I do feel like Charles Barkley is happier than like –

Even Michael Jordan, you know what I mean? Like, I really would, because it's that thing of, like, what you're giving up. These are all just my theories. This is all just me being like, I don't need to be as successful as I could. You know what I mean? Winning a championship just has no true effect on, like, your life after basketball, except for outside of maybe, like, trying to get in the Hall of Fame. Sure. Which is cool, but, like...

I don't know. I mean, you can still go be successful. Totally, totally. Well, that's... Yes, that's what I'm... I guess what I'm trying to say is like, there are these things that are fucking awesome. And I'm not going to say it's not awesome. But it's like, there is just so much more to life. And so much more to just like... And there is a...

There is like a value to just having a... Honestly, a good time. Or just enjoying yourself. And like even the like pursuit of like getting to the highest levels and just feeling that, that's kind of fucking cool. I mean, you know, and obviously I'm a huge...

I'm a huge fan of yours. I am a hoops guy. So I do. I remember all those. I remember actually, this is a devastating night for you. It was the first time I got. Sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about it. Well, it was the first time I got like pussy on the road was when the Rockets inexplicably came back against you guys. Like I remember I was in Boston opening for Bobby and this hot girl, I just hook up with this hot girl.

And the other opener hooks up with her friend. And I just wanted to keep, I was like, I really liked that girl. She's cool. But my, the opener didn't, the other guy didn't like the girl he hooked up with. So he was like, nah, dude, we can't hang out with them anymore. Like we got, we fucked them in the, well, I didn't even, my dick couldn't even get hard. I was, I literally had too many pastries. This is like the glory. This is one of my happiest memories, by the way. But anyway, she was very hot and I liked her. I wanted to keep talking to her.

And then he was like, nah. He tried to, you know, leave the other one. And then we went and got roast beef sandwiches and went back to the fucking hotel room. And I remember being like so tuckered out from... I was like, wow, life on the road is awesome. I get pussy. I eat roast beef sandwiches and pastries. Meanwhile, I'm having a meltdown. And I'm like... And by the way, I was rooting for you guys. No, no, here's what I'm... I was rooting for you guys because I literally was a fan of yours. And... Thanks, man. And...

And I'm like, and you guys, it was so in the bag that I went to sleep. Because it was, dude. Yeah, me too. Yeah.

Yeah, we all did, Cara. We all checked out that one. And then fucking Josh, and it was like they literally take Harden out of the game. Is that the genesis of the Doc blinking meme? Where Doc has no idea what's going on? I don't... Was that from the Clippers? I thought that was from... Oh, maybe it was from... I think it was from Boston. But it just... Spiritually, it's what happened that night. But I do... That meme is... That's... Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, just wanted to kind of remind you of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just wanted to remind you of that. Do you remember being 21 and telling Dick Dosey to come here? You piece of shit.

Remember how you had a so made with that dentist girlfriend? And now look at you. Now look at me, dude. Sweating through my own podcast. I'm dripping in here, guys. I know, dude. We fucked up, Eldest. Doing kind of like the reverse Chris Farley show where it's like, not even remember awesome stuff, but like, remember that one of the literally worst moments of your career? That was pretty weird and bad, huh? But I got head that day.

Yeah, dude, I'm happy for you, man. That's dope.

Do you guys want to talk about any other losses? No, that's enough, dude. I mean, we could talk about Donald Sterling sexually harassing you as a 19-year-old or whatever. Oh, yeah. Feeling on my arms. Feeling on your arms. Oh, yeah. Fuck, I wish we had... You got to come back, dude. We literally just have barely scratched the surface. I've lost track of time completely, Elders, and we haven't done any advice yet, so we got to get to some advice now.

Let's do it. Sorry, dude. We're just having too good a time. Let me see. But yeah, I will say just my favorite. Did you guys...

How often did the Clippers read the deposition statement? Which is one of the funniest things in the world. The question was, was this your handwriting? Yeah, I'm in the back of a limo and I'm with a girl. He goes, she's sucking on me. She's sucking on me. And I'm having a good time. And she's making me feel good. And I love when she's making me feel good. Yeah, sometimes the...

Pull it up, Elders. Donald Sterling. Sir. You have to read. I'll read the Sterling thing and then you come in with the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of a failure in producing not already having this, Elders. Well, yeah, I fool around sometimes. I do. When a girl seduces me and tells me all these hot stories, dirty things, and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and takes my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me...

When I'm in a limousine, she takes off all her clothes. The limo driver said, well, what's going on? And she starts sucking on me. She starts sucking me on the way to Mr. Coon's house. I forgot about that part. I forgot that's the guy's name. And I thank her. I thank her for making me feel good. Sir, the question was, is this your handwriting? Oh. Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I thought you wanted to know about my...

I thought you were asking me about Mr. Coon's house. Getting sucked off on the way to Mr. Coon's house. Also, is that a nickname? Yeah. Like the racism was right in front of us the whole time. Oh my God, dude. Yeah, you got to come back. We got to talk more about that shit. So good. Incredible. Incredible.

All right, let's look. We got to take some calls. We got to fucking, you know, a world-class athlete, a father, an Oklahoman. How many times did you get Oklahoma thrown at you? Honestly, not that much. It might be the first one. Great. Just wondering. Remember that time you brutally lost the playoffs? Oklahoma. How about that?

We'll make a meme out of that to promote the F. Jesus Christ, man. Just wondering, man. That's all. The reverse Chris Farley show. That's basically what this episode is. All right. Fuck, dude. Remember that time you got traded? That sucked.

After they promised you you'd be a clip of her life. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but look at me now, man. Not even bitter at all. Not even bitter. I'm happy, dude. I'm happy. Yeah, you had a great year in Detroit, man.

Yeah, dude. Some good pizza there. Oh, fuck. Damn. Man, Reed, play the fucking clip. Play the thing else. I have more to talk. I have so many devastating moments. This is one of those things where I feel myself starting to get rolling, but let's do the questions. God, I'm getting so many. Not playing dickhead.

Dude, we don't have to take this. This is my life, Blake. God, you poor thing. I've been living it for 45 minutes. Fuck, we're going to have to figure out how hot it's getting. We're all fucking sweating our cunts off in here, dude.

I don't think this will help much, but I could go turn on the living room AC. Fuck it. Why not? Yeah. Goddamn. I'm good. I'm starting to sweat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the sauna. I've unbuttoned my shirt. Just fucking let's do some fucking calls. The glisten on the chest is nice, though. The glisten's not bad. It really makes the gold chain pop. I appreciate it, dude.

No diddy is what the kids are saying. Which is actually huge. That's a big cultural footprint. Honestly, to stick around is like the new face of no homo is actually pretty impressive. It went from that to pause to no diddy. To no diddy. Go ahead, Elders. Tom, long time here. I try to make this concise.

Married by children. Now, to my question.

I'm kind of struggling right now because our dynamic is she stays at home and raises the kids, and I go to work. I'm an electrician. I make really, really, really, really good money. We got Blake Griffin on the fucking couch, brother. Go look up max contracts. We'll tell you what really, really good money is. I guess I should be an electrician now. I retired to become an electrician. Now, the reason that I'm calling is because

No! What?! Hold on, pause this, man. Months ago?!

He's like, to be fair, I have been cutting her some sex. I've seen dust on the fucking countertops. I've seen a lot of crumbs on the countertops and some streaks on our glassware. Oh, my God. What a fucking piece of shit. All right. Let's see what else he's got. You know, her mom died a couple months ago.

So, I have been factoring that into the equation. I've been cutting her a lot of slack because I know that's hard. We all loved her mom very much. She's a great lady. I digress on that. So, what I'm trying to get at here is, you know, I'm home all day. The three-year-old, she can be a terror. She can be a menace, but she's pretty cool and manageable sometimes. And then, you know, the

The 10-month-old is a bundle of love. She just needs to be breastfed every few hours. No, this guy's trolling. I understand that I can be taxing, but you got to understand, man, I work for 11 hours a day. This is crazy. And, like, when I get home, it's the same as when I left. And then she starts doing stuff. She's like, oh, you're home now? You can help with the kids. Now I can do my house chores that I should have been doing all day, and we're going to have dinner at 9 o'clock. I know you got to be up at 5.30 in the morning, but we're going to bed late every night. This is crazy. And so they're just starting to grind me down.

Do you? This is fucking insane. Oh, yeah, that's the issue. I can't understand this because I don't have kids. It's not the fact that you're a fucking lunatic. Yeah, yeah.

Have you tried, you know, picking up dinner on your way home? How about basic empathy? Her mom just died. She's got a toddler and a 10-month-old who's breastfeeding off her, who's literally sucking the life force out of her. Dude, this is fucking nuts that you're saying this shit. This has got to be it. He's got to be trolling a little, but he might not be, dude. Maybe. Okay, this is crazy.

10 month old In and of itself Is enough to be like You just got You get a year to fuck it Like we You know I Our friend We have a friend who's She had a kid And he's like Almost two now Not even A year and a half Whatever But it's like

That shit fucking takes it out of her. Especially the mom, dude. The baby's clean. Let's think about this. She had the kid 10 months ago. She probably, you know, postpartum's a real thing. Her mom dies. Her mom dies. And who knows what, like, the lead up was. Was she sick? Was it sudden? Either way, there's a lot of fucked up shit going on. He's like, well, we all loved her. We all loved her. She was a great lady. Anyway, the point is... Can you tell this...

to start cleaning the goddamn house. I'm out there making such good money. I'm making really, really good money. Get them made. Yeah, dude. Literally, get a fucking housekeeper. And you're like, dude, I'm working 11 hours a day putting wires...

connecting big different bulbs to different wires all fucking day. You can't brag about making really, really, really... It was three reallys. Three reallys, bro. Really, really good money. Three reallys. And then complain about your wife not cleaning. Get a maid. Get a maid. Child care. I think a maid, like two days a week would maybe cost you like... Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah, Blake hasn't done a chore in fucking ten years. He has no idea. He has dinner, he throws the plates on the ground, a small Salvadorian woman comes up, I'm sorry, Mr. Blake, I'll be faster next time. So he has no concept of what that costs. You know, I'm talking to somebody who makes money.

Not quite your money. Get a maid. Get five maids that live at your house and they never leave. It won't even cost that much. It won't cost that much. What did it cost? $50,000 a day? Who cares? Yeah, I mean, dude, there's always going to be lights to fix. Why don't you do what I do? Fucking sell some vitamin water. They'll pay you a couple million dollars.

Go jump over a fucking Kia. Get $10 million out of it. Dude, this is such an easy one. This guy's like, hopefully your guest has kids. I couldn't relate to him unless I have kids. Dude, I mean, what are we doing, man? Yeah, like maybe... Go train. Yeah.

Go put your name in for the draft. Get drafted number one. Go play for 14 years. I promise you. At that point, you're probably going to leave her, to be honest. Yeah, gosh. I don't know. Yeah, dude. Just stop being a piece of shit. Your wife is up against so much right now. The thing is with this guy...

He's just hinting at not wanting... There's just like little breadcrumbs of him. This is the beginning to the end. Yeah, of just like... Well, I just... I hope she's not losing. Yeah, yeah. Maybe she is. If she is, like, this guy's his fucking dickhead. But, like, look, this is a tough time. And, yeah, if you make that much money, how about you fucking help her out a little bit? Because, yes, I'm not saying you're not working hard, but she's fucking doing, like, three jobs right now.

Like, you guys aren't equal right now. Her share is larger than your share right now. Even though it feels like you're bringing home the money, toddler and 10-month-old is so brutal to have to fucking put up with. All day, every day. All day, every day, where it's like, dude, try... Literally, I would love for you to give one day of doing that.

of trying to just feed those kids. Switch it up. Well, who's going to make really, really, really good money? Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. They're so fucking stopped. His hands are tied. His hands are fucking tied, dude. But that's the thing. He's bigging himself up a little bit, and the subtext here is like, I make really, really good money. I shouldn't have to put up with this. He hasn't even gotten into his... I'm sure somewhere lurking here is like,

him not getting sucked off enough i love you know like that she's but she's a little sensitive sometimes she's got a baby she's got two babies and her mom died months ago he didn't say this year he said a couple months ago and by the way you know it was probably less than a couple months if it was like if it was two months he would he would have been like you know

my mom died like half a year ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If he says a couple, it was probably six weeks ago. Yeah, yeah. They just left the fucking viewing. Yeah, dude, you're being a piece of shit here. We get home from our mom's funeral in the house.

There's tears everywhere. She got tears on my new driver. You can't get salt on a fucking driver. It'll rust, you fucking bitch. So yeah, dude. Oh my God. You're going to have to stop being a dickhead and realize that she's actually the one dealing with more than you right now. And that just because you make the money when you enter a partnership like this, which even though you're not married, we're going to take you at face value and say that you are committed to this woman and

The money is just... Look, you agreed to this, right? You agreed to being like... That's the thing about a family. It's not...

It's not capitalism. You don't get to buy more control because you have more money. A family is fucking communism. And it's each to what they can do. You need to support her because she is biting off way more than one person should chew right now between raising two kids full time and being like a fucking, you know, home, you know, housemaker, whatever the fuck. Or the other thing you do is you can start a trophy shop. Yeah.

And maybe get a little extra money, make your kids make their own trophies. Put them to work. Put these fucking kids to work. Three-year-old can work. Three-year-old can work, brother. But yeah.

You're being a dickhead. Try and support her a little more and realize that this is tough. You know, a little house, a maid, you know, a fucking cleaning lady once a week or even like some child care. Do you have family that can help her out? That kind of that shit's fucking huge daycare for your kids. I mean, you know, my friend for the three year old, at least like maybe putting the kid in a daycare. She's with the 10 month old. And then, you know, but anyway.

I don't know. There's something going on with that guy. There's something just a little, a little, you know. By the way, this is a good call. I feel a little cooler already even though it's, you know. Yeah. I don't feel like I'm dying anymore. Yeah. We got to leave these. We got to leave it right. We got to leave that. Remember the first time we figured this out was with Louis Black. And dude, this fucking guy was like, I felt so bad. He was like,

It was like almost fucking passing out. And it's like, we didn't think about that with our like, yeah, I felt bad for him. I'm also like, so what was it like eating pussy in the seventies or whatever, whatever stupid question. What was it like being a fucking Jew in North Carolina? I felt that way, dude. I felt so bad.

All right, let's get some more fucking questions rolling here, Eldo. That was pretty good. These people are all going to be like, God, not the worst guest to give advice. I can't relate to you at all. All right. Let's see, let's see. Hey, Sav. Mike from Indiana. Okay, from the Heartland. Big fan. Hope you come around here sometime soon. That's not the point. Real quick, um...

So my cousin, he's like six years older than me. I'm in my late 20s. He's got a wife. He's got three kids. Everything seems to be going well for him. But just recently his wife called me and wanted to ask if she thought I was cheating. He was cheating on her. I fucked that up. But called to ask, and I asked him, and he kind of gave me a vague response. Yes. And I don't...

Like, I genuinely am conflicted and don't know what to say to her. Because if I find out he is, you know, do I want to be that guy and get that messenger to get shot? Because I love my nieces and nephews, like my little cousins. I mean, I got brothers, but I don't know. I feel conflicted, and I thought I'd ask you if you were to find out, like, let's say one of your brothers was cheating on his girlfriend, would you...

I don't want to be the person to break up a relationship. I got a big family. Uh,

I don't know. This is maybe when I, this is when I revert back to villager brain here as a first generation immigrant. You never go against the family. There is no way I'm snitching on my brother. First of all, my brothers would never cheat, but like, but, um, they really wouldn't. That's not even, that's not even like me setting them up for safety in the future. Um,

You should ask my brothers this question. That's actually a much more interesting moral dilemma, but I can't see a world where I snitch on those closest to me. Like, we've talked about this with, like, you know, obviously with my, like, I shouldn't be on the record with some of this stuff, actually. But no, don't ask.

I wonder what... I wish he had said what the vague response was. The vague thing is awesome. A vague response. He calls him like, hey, uh...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, dude, cheating is... I mean, what is cheating? What's cheating when it comes down to it? I love my family. I'm here for my kids. And, you know, I just... I'm dedicated to this family. Like, that's awesome. And good for him, by the way, for not... Here's the thing. Your brother did you a... Your brother's a fucking good guy. Cousin. Oh, is it his cousin? Yeah, cousin. Cousin? It's his cousin. Still, cousin. He's six years older. If you're... He seems close enough.

Now, my cousin would definitely cheat on his fucking wife, but he's not married. He's just a 40-year-old fucking lunatic in Greece that's just been getting pussy his whole life, has no plans. He's currently in a production of Shrek the Musical in Greece. That's incredible. He's the man. Where in Greece?

In Athens, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, if you're ever there, hey, I can get you some tickets, bro. I actually might be going this summer. Dude, my cousin would be like, what? He's a big sports fan. He'd be like, Blake Griffin wants to come see me play Puss in Boots. I'm like, front rowing.

i believe well i don't know what he's playing last summer it was it's supposed to be in boots but i dressed up his clothes he dressed up his purse him and l just hit it off in greece they couldn't really speak to each other but we had a great we had a great time getting up it was awesome he's the man um you can speak i can speak i'm fluent in greek yeah dude

I'm considering, I don't know if I, this summer I'm trying to decide if I want to go to Greece or if I just want to like, I don't know, go to some fucking sick beach here and like keep it a little more low key. Yeah. Maybe. I think I might go to Greece this summer. Oh yeah? Nice.

Anyways, yeah. Yeah, so we'll get you some tickets to Shrek. But yeah, dude, I don't know. Sorry, anyways. Now, Blake, you've never experienced any... As an NBA player, you don't know anything about covering for those close to you when they're cheating on their wives or girlfriends. So certainly you can't... On this one, I'm kind of out. I don't really have any experience on this one. Um... Yeah, no...

Also, my cousins are great guys. Yeah.

Like in the NBA, the guy who doesn't cheat gets made fun of, right? Fucking pussy. Nobody trusts the guy who doesn't cheat. It's like Serpico where he won't take the money. Fuck this stripper. Fuck this stripper so we know you're cool. I'm a Christian. I'm a devout Muslim. I can't. Fucking pussy. Get him out of here. Get him off the team. What's that?

Was there like a team that was known as like dorks? Was there ever like a city where you're like, those guys are fucking losers? No, because it's like everybody's from all over the place. I just wonder if there... It would just be so funny if there was ever like... Because I feel like if the star player is like a low-key guy, it could theoretically... I feel like maybe the Spurs... I wouldn't say nerds. No, no, no. You can't. I think they were definitely more like...

They were much more normal. Sure. Like, I just feel like... Yeah, Tony parked up to some funny... Yeah, I mean... Some interesting little stuff over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, dude, those were the best guys. It's like, yeah, one of the best players had a known affair. His teammates...

Like, oh, shoot, yeah. Oh, yeah. If they're not the example... The year he was in Charlotte, you're talking about. But yeah, I guess Tim Duncan was... It was interesting because he was like... And then he retires and grows fucking braids and gets up. He does like MMA. He does Muay Thai or whatever. Muay Thai. Muay Thai. Yeah, he gets fucked up off Muay Thais. But yeah, dude, look. I do think...

At the end of the day, there are certain things that are not your business. I'll put it that way. Where it's like, I would be devastated if somebody close to me that I let into this inner circle, even if I did something bad...

You can't snitch. You just can't snitch. It's not your fucking business. If he's up to... Like, look, it's different if this guy's up to no good here and he's like a real piece of shit and his life is... You know, he's openly cheating. He's fucking doing drugs. He's not providing for his family. But, you know, his relationship with his girlfriend is not really up to you. And, like, look, people break up, but family, in theory, should stay where it is. And so I...

I don't know. Go ahead. Oh, I was just going to say, it's like if they split, she's gone and you don't want to deal with her, but he's still your cousin, you know? Yeah. That alone is like default. And they probably will, it seems like. This guy's acting like Bill Clinton on the stand when you asked him if he's cheating.

I think we know where this is going. Also, it's interesting that she felt comfortable calling him. True. Like, wouldn't you just kind of do your own digging? Totally. Before you went to a cousin? But you know what happened here? And this is what it is. This woman has good... Here's my hunch.

She's got a good sense of who the weak link in the family is. Because this guy gives off pussy snitch vibes. She looks around and everyone else is buttoned up. But it's like this fucking guy's like, got sweaty hands, you know. He's got his fucking, his polo tucked in at the fucking Easter. She knows he's easy pickings. Like, where's my cousin at? He's here. Hi.

He'll be right behind you. He's running somewhere. He's definitely not in his car. I'm talking about him behind Denny's. Yeah, so dude, you can't snitch. I'm sorry. Next question. I think, yeah. You can't snitch. What else we got? Basically...

i'm a 25 year old man in a relationship with a man we've been dating for like five years nice uh and he got like top surgery like a year ago awesome and stuff because you know it's like really good for his self-confidence and you know it's been very happy to i've been very happy to like see that

Um, but basically my question is, or I guess my problem is that like, um, I miss his boots sometimes, you know, like they were just great little. Yeah, that's tough. Great things, you know, like a good old handful. Believe me. And, uh, like I'm very happy with like what's happened or whatever. It's awesome. Sounds like it. But sometimes I miss him and I don't know how to, you know,

Come to terms with the fact I'll never see them again. And I'm like in this for the long haul, you know, but like, anyways, that's a problem where I feel very guilty about missing them. Anyways. Thanks, man. Uh, thanks, Todd. Thanks, Elvis. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. That's tough question. Yeah.

He's in a relationship with a man? Yeah, so... And he got top surgery? So it seems like his boyfriend's trans. Yeah. And so he got his titties chopped off. Oh, okay, I got you. So maybe when they started dating, his boyfriend was a chick. Right, right, right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, look, that would be a very tough loss. Yeah, yeah. So this guy, our caller here, I don't know if he's gay or bi or whatever...

Or just a pan person who's just like, I can fall in love with a human. And here's the thing. This is putting that kind of thinking to the test. Because a lot of people will be like, I just fall in love with the person. You might need titties in your life.

It's a possibility. It's a possibility. You have to be honest because you're not doing him any favors. If you know you want tits, you don't want to build a whole life with this guy. And then he gets a nice cock and you're like, I miss this pussy. It's like, dude, you might need tits. And that's,

that's okay. You know what I mean? Like that's a, that's like a possibility if you're feeling real guilt, but he says he's in it for the long haul. And, but I guess it's like, are you? Cause it's okay to, to be supportive of a person you love and want them to transition. But if it's important to you or you could, or this could just be the thing by people. Cause I would assume if you're a bi person,

and you settle down with the one, you're occasionally going to miss the other. You know what I mean? Like, if you're a bi girl and you marry a woman, you might want to get some dick every once in a while. Or you marry a man, you might want to suck some clits every once in a while. So it's, you know. Yeah, it's like, I don't know. It's interesting because it's like you knew, obviously you knew

that he's trans. Yeah. Like, you know, that's probably like, that's the, that's the vibe. Of course. Yeah. He's letting you know these, don't get used to these tits. They're coming off. So like what happens? Yeah. What happens if you do a gender reassignment down there? I mean, yeah. Are you mad? Then it's like, well,

I don't know. What are you attracted to? Are you mad? What I'm saying is what are you attracted to? Right. What are you attracted to in this human... Because it's like, look, you can be attracted to the soul and you might not... Some people are just like... Some people just need certain things. Yeah. I mean, you like what you like. You like what you like. And look, here's the other thing. You can say...

I love you. I miss titties sometimes. Maybe your boyfriend's a freak. He might want to suck some titties too and you guys get to fuck a chick together. That sounds cool to me. Here's an option. Yeah. Why didn't he get some? Why don't you get tits? Then you can hold them yourself. You miss tits so much, get a nice fat pair. Now that's fucking galactic thinking, Blake. Look, the problem is the tits are gone. Yeah.

You have a way. Occam's razor, brother. Get your own tip. Should have gone transfer and just taken it. You should have done a tip transfer. Tip transfer. Talk to the doctor. Do they have the tip? It's not too late. We actually keep them on ice for six months just in case. Just in case. When we see a particularly nice pair, we keep them on ice.

You know, buyer's remorse, it's a real thing. Or seller's remorse, I guess, in this case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great idea. Get your own set of tits. Get your own set of tits. Problem solved. But I'm guessing he's not.

He's not trans. He might, but look, maybe get one tit. Just for yourself. You each get one. You each get one. Maybe like a stress ball. Make a stress ball out of the tit and squeeze it every time you feel you miss it.

So look, there's a lot of different ways to go about this. We've given some pretty good options. We've given you a lot of good options. But yeah, just, you know, I would just consider getting tits. Consider, you know, I would give it some time. You know, this person's probably feeling awesome. You don't want to be like, I miss your tits. But you also don't want to keep it to yourself fully. And you do need to think about the fact that

Is that... Are you actually... I mean, it sounds like you are. You love him, but, you know... Give it time is a good point. It's like a big change for everybody. They're both adjusting to it and like...

Fuck, I was going to say something else, but I forgot. That's awesome, Eldest. Really great fucking... I was like, great, Eldest will take us home. We'll move on to the next fucking question. I was just going to say, talk to him about it too. Just say, like...

Just be honest. Why not? You know, be like, I miss titties. I miss titties. Can we get some titties in the mix? I still love you. Would you want some titties? There's nothing wrong with that. Just be forthright. Absolutely. Honesty. Honesty is always the best policy. Just say, I miss titties. I miss titties. God, that would be a real deal breaker for me. I got to be honest.

That would be brutal. Same, to be honest. Yeah. I've hooked up with non-binary people, but they happen to have tits and a pussy. And if they were to chop those titties off, you know, I mean, I might still, you know, who knows, but I might still fuck them. Probably. Yeah, probably. You know, I'm thinking about it. I'd miss them, though. But it's not, I'm not settling down for life. You know, fucking a person once, that's one thing. But yeah, good luck, man. Yeah.

Anyways, good luck. Fuck. That's a good question. That is a good one.

Let's see. What else you got? You've been doing a good job, Elders. This is what happens every time we take a break and re-record. He comes through with a bunch of good questions. I bet you in three episodes they're all dog shit. By the end of a ten episode recording stretch, it's pretty tough. It's like seven three minute calls in a row. It's like some guy, he's lonely. Dude, we have 4,000 voicemails here. That's crazy.

4,000. Hey, Stavi, esteemed guest and eldest, the Albanian bunker dweller. That's right. I've got a serious dilemma on my hands and I could really use y'all's advice. So I have a friend who hit me up saying that someone I'm mutual friends with on Facebook was selling some expensive concert tickets and they asked if I knew the person.

And I said, yeah, I know them basically just saying I went to high school with this person and I know they're not a bot or anything. Anyways, they proceed to scam my friends out of about $1,600. - $1,600? - They were concert tickets for his little daughter's birthday. And this person I went to high school with that I'm Facebook friends with just ghosted them.

And I hit him up and I'm like, hey, you know, what's going on here? And they basically ghosted me and more or less admitted to scamming him. So I've already free canoed them, which is where you make a fake...

Craigslist listings with their phone numbers saying that you have a free canoe. What are other ways I could ruin this person's life using just their phone number? So if you could help me out with that, I'd really appreciate any ideas that you guys have. Thanks so much. Have a good one. Wow. This guy is just fucking... Did you know he was a piece of shit, though?

Probably not. If it's someone you know from high school, you don't know how shitty people can evolve. That's true. That is true. But I don't know. I feel like I'd have a hunch. I feel like, was this someone you would have bought concert tickets from? That's really the question.

Not like, are they just real? Now look, it's not your fault this guy's a fucking scam artist. Clearly it sounds like Taylor Swift tickets were fucking... He was scammed out of some Taylor Swift tickets. His daughter's birthday. You know what? That's a good point. No one talks about how many fucking like...

How many, like, scammers Taylor Swift has helped? She's fucking rising. The economy's rising all over the place, dude. A lot of guys in neck tattoos came up thanks to fucking fake Taylor Swift ticket links. Where used to use their phone number? You could call Illicit, you know. You could use their phone number. You could call into, you know, I wouldn't say drug dealers, but maybe, like,

a massage parlor, let's say, without too many women reviewing it. You know what I mean? Circulate his number, text a bunch of places and ask for, you know, get him on like the happy ending registry.

You know what I mean? You could get his number on that way. Can you volunteer somebody for this registered sex adventure? Turn himself in. He's like, I just feel like I should be involved in here. Just call a bunch of shady businesses, I think is a good one. You could sign him up for a bunch of...

I guess email lists, do they have phone? Oh, you know what? I bought it. So I got a phone number. This is actually, I think I have something nice. I bought a second phone line thinking I was going to use it as a business line. I'm still not doing shit with it, but I have it. And, uh,

It was clearly some old, some like old guy died because he had like some old like lib because he had like subscribed to every single like Nancy Pelosi text alerts. Like, dude, I get like, I get it from the Republicans. Oklahoma number. Yeah. Yeah.

Kathleen, they're letting Mexicans in. You can stop it. They are teaching immigrants English, but making us learn Spanish. Yeah, something like that. I think I get so many of those and they're so fucking annoying. So sign them up for both sides text alerts. Make a donation. Well, then you're spending money, but...

I mean, honestly, I think you go the route of setting up an elaborate scam. Yeah. I don't know how. You have to count of Monte Cristo him. Well, what about this daughter, this little kid? This is her villain origin story.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's really up to her. She probably told all her little friends that her dad got tickets. It's really up to her. Yeah. They were going to go. It was going to be like her best birthday. Can she ruin his life? Can she use some inappropriate conduct? 30 years later, it's like, kill Bill. Yeah. He's like, whoa, the sublime reunion. Let him think he's going to fucking, let him think, yeah. Here's what you do. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Whatever high school reunion is coming up next. Yeah, true. You...

I mean, I guess, no, he knows that, I guess, yeah. Okay, so next high school reunion, you get him back to the school, wherever the reunion is. You get the daughter there. Right. You get him somehow, somebody pantses him. Sure. You snap a picture. Right. Daughter's right there. Daughter's right there. His pants down. His dick is out. It's technically child porn. Hey, this is going to the police or you give us our $1,600.

Yeah, that's a great point. That's great. No, no, no. I like this. I like this. It doesn't have to be. But yes, it doesn't have to be the high school reunion, but we have to get this guy naked. I don't know why I said that, but I guess that's the only way it would make sense. You have to lure him somewhere. Yeah, you got to lure him. So you got to lure him in with like, okay, let's.

Create an AI juggalo with big tits. I feel like this guy, the guy who's on Facebook Marketplace scamming Taylor Swift tickets, I think that's what he wants. It's like a plus-sized big-titted juggalo with like an eyebrow piercing. Heavy naturals. Heavy naturals. Thick with one really big vein in the tit. It's dark blue.

dark blue. It's the most beautiful blue you've ever seen. It would come out purple if you put a thumbtack. It would take a little while for it to oxidize. That's how deep this blue vein is. So get him his type of bitch. Invite him over. You know, you have to do a reverse to catch a predator. Yes. Where you put the child in a fat suit. You make the child

You make the child pretend to be a legal adult and then just settle, you know, make yourself comfortable and then the child, now look, we don't want to expose this child to anything, but she's got her back turned. He would show up with the same goodie bag that the actual Predators show. He's like, well, why do you have a pack of Smirnoff ice and condoms? I thought she was 32! Ice one of the

Well, she's 16. I like this, actually. We get the child a fat suit. You put her in it. She looks like a sexy BBW juggalo. Okay? But it's actually a child he's met up with. And now he's going to fucking jail for a child. But here's the thing.

We don't have to send him a gel to be a sex offender, right? True. You can just blackmail him into, hey, maybe a little something on top for us. Oh, for our trouble. This is the top of the line fucking... To cover the expenses of the fad series. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is top of the line. That's three grand at least. Three grand. Because Lord knows he's done this to other people. He's done it to other people. He's got money lying around. He'll strike again. So yeah, I love this. That's a perfect idea.

That's a really good one. All right. I really like what we got here. We've really helped some people. You have a fun one. How are we doing on time? We're at 141 right now. Oh, wow. We're cruising. God damn. Cruising you, I tell you, baby. All right. Let's do one. Let's do a nice one. You got something good for us, Big LD? I'll bring us out with an update and a little follow-up. An update and a follow-up. I love it. Hey, Stav. Call in with a little update and a little more advice.

So I was the guy that called in and had that really avoidant girl that would not see me for like over a year, et cetera. The episode was with Sam Talent and Nathan Mundt.

Do you remember that guy? Give me a little background. I seem to remember. I think this guy was like 400 or 500 pounds or something. He was online talking with some girl for over a year. They maybe hung out one time but didn't fuck or anything. I remember this. He was fat as shit. He didn't believe in himself and he just didn't

Yeah, he was just acting like... She was weird too because she talked to him all the time and there was something potentially there. But he just was too...

And we've all, we were, because on this episode we had, that was actually one of the episodes we were stretching the limits of this couch. We had a lot of men on this pod. Sam Talent and Nathan Lund, two very funny, very fat men. And we all knew the fat boy's heart, what he was up against. So basically, he was too timid to make a move. This woman was a little weird. We couldn't really get a good read on it. That's pretty much the situation, right, Eldis? That's right.

Well, I'm just letting you know that episode was a real kick in the ass for me. Got me going in the right direction. Not so much because of what you guys had to say, but just hearing myself be so goddamn pathetic on the phone was truly jarring and awful. Yeah, that's tough. What I'm calling out about today is, honestly, shortly after I left you that message, I met this wonderful woman. We've gone out a handful of times.

She stayed at my house like four times over the last two weeks, which I am absolutely so down with. Yeah, you're craving affection. But what I'm trying to get at is I'm trying to understand like how soon is too soon to ask somebody to be in a relationship with you. Because in my dating history, I've gone way too fast into these things and I really don't want to fall into that same trap again because I end up getting involved with somebody and getting too deep with somebody that...

Some of these red flags weren't apparent. Hold on, this is the fucking guy that was talking to a woman for five years and wouldn't make a move, and now he's calling us and saying he gets into things too quickly? No, he said love you at the end. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I was too busy shitting on him. Hey, hey, hey. Keep your mask on.

Chill, chill, chill. He's fed his shit. He's fed his shit. His lunch bed. Eldest, I'm sorry.

He was just talking... I remember that correctly. That's the call. Ultimately, his fundamental question was like, what's up with this girl? Why does she continue to talk to me for over a year but refuses to meet up? They lived kind of far, but not super far. Maybe like an hour. Yes, yes, yes. I got you. I got you. Okay. And she was just...

getting him attention from him, basically. And I'll say, too, I mean, you know, obviously he didn't fuck or didn't even see that bitch, except maybe the one time, if I remember correctly. But that's still an example of, like, you know, rushing into something in a way. He put, like, all his eggs in, like, this anonymous, like, cyber girl, like, fucking basket. And how long ago was...

This was pretty recent. Because he's saying that shortly after that call, he met somebody. Yeah, so this is a different girl. Right, I know. But I'm saying, like, so how long do we think he's been with this new girl? Oh, interesting. He originally called in in February. Okay, so. Yeah. I mean. When's this call from? April. Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so. Or no, Monday, Monday. Her name is April. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Very late April. Super late April. May 22nd.

Very late April is really funny. Turns out I was incorrect. Okay, I got you. It's been months. Yeah, pull the trigger. Pull the trigger. You're absolutely doing the wrong thing right now. She's sleeping over multiple times a week.

She also just might think you're in a relationship. She's like, you're not a fucking cast. No disrespect. You're no cast. No, you're fat as shit. You've just been getting catfished for a year. She probably isn't too worried that you're getting pussy elsewhere. This is probably more for you that you have to lock her down. You know what I mean? I've been there. I've been on both sides of it where women were shocked that I was getting pussy and didn't want to be in a relationship. They're like, what? But

But I'm hot and you're a fat idiot. I'm like, yeah, sorry, babe. That's how society works sometimes. I don't know what to tell you. I know. I'm kind of shocked my life works this way, too. But it does. Hey, don't chop those off. You ever become a guy, this is over, babe.

Yeah, pull the trigger, man. Yeah, so definitely you can have the discussion. You should be like, I really like you. I love spending time with you. You know, what's going on? You know, I don't know. It's just you're... That also is a weird thing to have to... It almost feels like a...

Do it. A vestige of almost being young. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, will you be my girlfriend? Exactly. You're sort of over there, right? Yeah, for all intents and purposes, if she's like over every night, like... Yeah. You're in a relationship. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, so... Because like some people think like if you're dating, like if you're hanging out like that, you're dating someone that is your... Sure. By definition, that is your... Yeah.

Yeah, you're dating. Totally, totally. It is dating. It's just a matter of like going official, which, by the way, that was something I clung to as a dirtbag where I was wrong about, right? Where it's like, I'm like, what do you mean we fucking... My girlfriend, what? Because we see each other four times a week?

It's like, yes, I have. Yeah, I asked you to move in. But, like, as a roommate. As a roommate, you have your own bed. Yeah, you don't sleep in it. Here's a way you could do it. Like, make up a little white lie. It's like, oh, you know, my...

asked if I was seeing somebody and I was like, yeah. And they're like, oh, he asked like, oh, is it like a girlfriend, boyfriend? Yeah. And I was like, oh, I don't know. I actually should bring it up to her. Let's talk about it. I should ask her. I should ask her. Yeah. And that kind of takes the pressure off being like, so, I was thinking. What are we? They're like laying there watching a movie and he's got like a tray of fish. Yeah, yeah.

Sorry, man. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Stains. So he's sitting there. He's eating an entire cheesecake. Hasn't cut it. He's eating it like this. Not a single slice. He's got an ice cream cake. He's got a giant spoon. A ladle. He's like, so I was thinking. He's mainlining a cheesecake. I don't know. It just kind of helps maybe like instead of having to just be like,

Are we boyfriends? Yeah, I mean, it's weird. I don't know what that... Not that you should lie, but just like, you know, like... That's a good question because I've thought about this too. Because I... Looking back again, I feel like a fucking idiot at how dumb I was where it was like, yeah, I was clearly dating someone and it was almost like a... It was almost like a...

formality to be like we're obviously dating right and then I would be like what no no what the fuck like I've never I've never cheated on anyone the way like rich people pay their taxes you know what I mean like technically I've never cheated on anyone but only because like you know I bent the rules to what to being in a relationship you followed the rules by the book I followed the rules by the book in court it would hold up when did we discuss that we were in a relationship

So like, I almost think like, yeah, the way you have this conversation, but it's good to be, you know what is good is to sit down and be like, hey, I just want to check in because I really like you and I want to take the, you know, I want to just kind of be in a committed relationship and I feel like we're really hitting it off. I just want to see how you're feeling. That's great. That's a nice check-in because sometimes people want different things.

Sometimes, you know, best case scenario, she laughs at you. It's like, of course I want to be like, what do you think we've been doing? Worst case scenario, she's like, what? Just because we spend more, you know what I mean? Like, which could happen. But the sooner you have, you know, then you know, you're better off. And by the way, you met someone wonderful. You can meet him again. Don't put yourself through that same fucking, you know, bullshit scenario. You know, so, you know, we're rooting for you, little buddy.

Our big buddy. Our big buddy. I'm thinking about maybe hanging up the little slut. My little slut Aaron just becoming a kept man. I would love to have a nice...

be in a nice relationship. So we'll see. And I won't, I won't behave that way this time. I'll be, you know, thanks, man. Thanks, dude. Looks like we're all learning a little something. We're all learning a little something. Learned that I was miserable losing a game seven. Well, it was game six, I believe. Yeah, you had to then go blow game seven. I haven't quite yet.

Yeah, you were up 3-2. You had to lose that game and another game. It was game six. God damn it. Walked right into that one. Anyway, you piece of shit. Just ask her, man. Yeah, just ask her. Fuck you. Taking out all my aggression on this guy.

Oh, dude. Yeah, good luck, little buddy. Dude, Blake, thanks for... This was so fun, dude. We fucking... I had so much that I wanted to ask and we were just rolling, so you got to come back. We'd love to have you. Yeah. And anything people should look out for? We didn't even talk about... I mean, you're doing... I want to talk about how sick it is you're bringing back Slam Ball.

Oh, yeah. That's fucking awesome. We didn't even discuss slam ball, which is, that is when I realized we are the same age. I'm like, oh, shit this guy's working on. It's shit I remember from being a kid. Because slam ball was so fucking sick. It was so sick. So sick, dude. I got approached to be a part of that.

And I immediately... I hit a group shot with all my boys who are all my age. Yeah. Or our age. And I was like, hey, would you guys watch Slam Ball if it came back? And it was like, oh my God, oh my God, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I was like, oh man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it did really well last summer. Yeah, yeah. And it's like the perfect time because it's in that dead spot of like no football, no basketball, only baseballs on TV that people don't really watch, you know? Yeah, totally. Fuck baseball. And it's going to be even bigger this year. For sure, because I feel like I didn't even know that. Like I literally...

Because we met last year and I was like, oh, what kind of shit has this guy been into? Because you hadn't officially retired. You were fucking sticking around playing for the fucking Celtics. Which sucks. Fuck Boston. I'm glad you retired for yourself, but I was like, thank God this motherfucker didn't make me

kind of root for Boston on some level because I would have had to root for you winning your, like I would have been, part of me would have been happy if the Celtics won which would have been such a fucked up thing to make it, to make a man go through. I really do. And it just goes back to just them winning too much

for so long. Yeah. And, you know, I'm a Ravens fan and we have, like... Oh, yeah. We always had the big Patriots shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, I'm an O's fan and the Red Sox and Yankees were always like... Yeah. Fuck them. And, you know, I realized in basketball I don't really have a reason to hate them because I like that KG team. That was a cool team. Yeah. You know, like, I was actually rooting for those guys. Rondo. Because they were... Yeah, young Rondo and, like, you won... I was such a KG fan. Yeah. So when they won, I was happy. Right, right, right. But then that...

all the, I think it really is Patriot tied up in Patriot's hate more than anything. But then it transfers into. Just because they had such a fucking run. Such a run of being awesome. You know what I mean? Like six championships. I mean, yeah. Between the, between the, I mean, you got the, the Patriots, the Red Sox and the Bruins were winning too. And it's like, fuck.

Fuck... You know, just fuck them. The only team that wasn't winning was the Celtics, but, you know, I also just kind of... My NBA fandom is so weird because growing up, I was just like such a... I was like a free agent fan because Baltimore doesn't have a team. You're right. And you can't... Like, Oklahoma's one of those places where...

People like weirdly root for like, you know, the Cowboys or something. Like for the NFL. Yeah. But it's like, that's not where you're from. Right. Doesn't that feel weird? But it's like the closest, at least it's like, it's two and a half hours. Oh, okay. You know what I mean? Like it's not the same state. But then like,

Yeah, like Oklahoma. I mean, basketball was like that until we got to Thunder. Right. For me, like, dude. Yeah, who'd you root for? Dude, I was like a Bulls fan when I was young. Yeah, of course. Because back then, like, there's no league pass, no social media. You couldn't keep up with teams unless you're looking in the newspaper. Totally.

But, like, and you're only seeing games that are on national TV. Yeah, yeah. And so, like, I don't think I ever watched a Clippers game until, like... Yeah, I mean, nobody fucking did. You know what I mean? They were never on national TV until, like, you know, later on. Well, that, the Darius Miles, Elton Brand. Well, yeah, that was later on. Those teams were close. I'm saying, like, in my childhood. I was a little kid, yeah, yeah. Like, until 2000, I probably didn't watch a Clippers game. So were you a fan of... Who were you a fan of growing up after the Bulls? Because I kind of had that... I bounced around...

I did too. I was more so just like followed players. Like I loved Vince Carter. Oh, yeah, absolutely. But again, couldn't see him that much. Yeah, he was harder because of Toronto. I was a big – the team that captured my heart first –

I mean, because everybody's like... And I was a big AI guy. Yeah. And Philly. Oh, man. Philly and Bolton. Oh, he's the fucking man. Are you kidding me? I loved it. And then him, you know, his run where he takes a game off that Lakers team is like insane. Yeah. But the Kings, the Sacramento Kings team, which was like Vlade and Weber and like that. Yes.

That team was... Especially because Vladi looked like every one of my fucking friends' dads and my dad. It was like there was just a guy. It was Eastern European representation. A bald guy with a beard. Every one of my dad's contractor friends looked and probably smelled like Vladi Divac. Just smoking cigs, throwing behind the back passes. Yeah, he was the man, dude. They said he used to smoke at halftime. He had a little room next to the Lakers locker room. He'd smoke...

Yeah. So sick. I'll just be like, who is this guy? Yeah. I mean, tell me that fucking guy doesn't look like half the Albanians that you grew up with. I'm big time. Yeah. I love it too. Cause he also like, he's such a petty Eastern European man that he had a feud with Lucas dad or something. And he didn't draft Luca number two. Oh yeah.

He was the GM for the Kings. And the fucking Suns were dickheads. They were idiots. They passed on him when they had his coach. They got Aiden. They got Aiden, which is like, okay, he's from Arizona. Who gives a fuck? That's like something they would do in the 60s. It's like, well, he's the star of the local college. We have to have him on the Suns. It's like, Luka was, he was the fucking EuroLeague MVP at 18.

And he goes, anyway. I mean, Atlanta traded. Atlanta, that's another thing. It's like, no, we need a 5'11 guy. But at least Trey Young is good. He's good. But, you know, come on. I mean, Aiden and Bagley's hysterical. No disrespect. Oh, yeah. That's a tough one. It was Aiden, Bagley. Aiden, Bagley, and Trey, and then Luka, which is such funny stuff. But, yeah, salute to Vladi.

And then obviously the seven seconds or less suns were like, this team's fucking awesome. Yeah. They were fun to watch. And then, I don't know. I did fucking... I loved... I did like you guys, obviously. The Lob City team was fucking fun as shit. And then I moved to New York and I was like, all right. I'm moving here. I'm going to be a Knicks fan. But I was always keeping an eye on Giannis, obviously, because the Greek thing. And now it's like, you know, I got that little...

I got that little, like, fucking, I feel like I have split custody where it's like, I'm just, like, rooting for them not to be in the same series. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? But whatever. But, yeah, dude, you bring back fucking Slam Ball. You're fucking producing movies and shit. TV shows. Are you going to do stand-up again? Because you were doing stand-up. I remember I had friends who you went to when you went to Montreal. Yeah. Like, I had a couple buddies that were at Montreal, and they're like, dude, Blake was fucking funny. Yeah.

Like, everyone was, like, surprised because you shouldn't be able to be. So that was the first time I went? I think so. Yeah, it was probably, it was, like, 2016 maybe. Yeah, I just moved, so yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went and hosted that Midnight Surprise show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was fucking awesome. Yeah. I mean, the adrenaline that I got from doing stand-up was very comparable to, like,

hitting a huge shot at an NBA game. That's fucking crazy. You know that theater? Totally. That's like a hundred... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe 120-person theater. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, getting off stage and, like, knowing you, like, you crushed. Oh. It was like...

And then, like, I did night one, and then the next night, dude, the whole upper balcony was, like, agents and everybody was, like, coming to see. I feel like they were coming to see if I would fucking bomb. Of course, of course. You know what I mean? Oh, because believe me, they were rooting against you. There's no way comics are like, handsome millionaire, basketball player, he better be bad. Legit, if I wasn't an actual fan of yours, I would have been like,

fuck this guy but I was happy that's why I'm weird about it now it's like I write stuff all the time but like I just like I don't know it's like I don't want to get it let comics we were talking before and it's like it's also funny to think about you've been a person who's like

worked out for like an average of three hours a day since you were 12. And so it's like, this is the first we're talking about how you're like, yeah, I just didn't work. Like we went, we were hanging out in LA and you're like, I just didn't work out today. And you said it like, it was like, like you saw like the eclipse or something. Like you saw like a shooting star. And it was like, you were like, can you, can you even imagine? Like you were telling me like what I've never, and I was like, Holy, in that moment, I was like, wow, we really,

really have lived different lives. Because you were like talking about how it was like a novelty to not work out. Yeah, it was beautiful. Sometimes it feels good not to work out. I woke up and I was like, I just don't want it. I don't have it today. And I was like, oh wait, I don't have to. Yeah.

And it just didn't work out. And life was awesome. I was like, it's pretty cool. Well, here's what you do. You give it a second. You get, maybe get a little fatter. Yeah. Actually let yourself get fat. Throw on some weight. Throw on some weight. Do something weird with your hair. Let it get like a fucked up texture, long, too long. That place where it doesn't quite go down, doesn't quite puff out. You just got to look weird and fucked up. It just exists. Yeah. Yeah. And then just like.

hardcore steroids absolutely yoked yoked with a belly where you can't even move your neck next time I come on the podcast I'm like but then you let your body break down after that and then you just become all fucked up and then do stand up you know what I mean and then break your body a little bit but I just remember being like I love the joke about

how you're like they can just trade you and it's like how fucked up the theory of that is you know where it's like you just sign up and you commit to something they're like yeah you actually don't you don't have to fuck it you don't actually get to be here oh yeah your wife yeah your wife trading you like yeah that was it it was like spouses if you could trade if you could trade spouses yeah yeah I committed long term to you yeah

I always loved the thing. I think I did this in my first, like, 10 minutes that I wrote. It was like, you know, you'll be walking down the street. Basketball is so funny that, like, somebody will just, like, yell out, like, go Lakers. And it's like, I don't give a fuck who you cheer for. It'd be like if I saw my UPS guy and I was like, go FedEx. He'd just be like, all right, I'm still going to deliver. I'm still going to do what I get paid to do. I don't care if you like it. Yeah, yeah.

It's such a weird thing where people think like that's like really getting me. Totally. And they're always like across the street. Of course. They're like, hey, go Lakers, man. Never let. They keep some distance in between. Oh, absolutely, dude. I'm going to start doing that driving by UPS's and just be like. Yeah.

FedEx dude fuck you FedEx even DHL man dude I fuck with DHL even more yeah dude so you're doing nothing you want to plug in particular or is there not really I don't really have anything right now just check him out blakegriffin.com

Check out his website. Google search me. We're trying to get that rating to go up. Honestly, check out. He's got sick dunks, this fucking guy. So just go to YouTube. Check out Blake and Drew. Go to other people's YouTube channels. Other people's YouTube channels that he is not monetizing. Look up his highlights set to like fucking songs.

Said to like songs that are probably going to get copyright strike. But he's got some great highlights out there, folks. Just check those out. Yeah, and then, you know, just think about me from time to time. Just think about Blake. He's not on your TV anymore. He just needs that. Keep me top of mind for any projects.

I mean, thinking about becoming an electrician. Yeah, the money's good, brother. I love it. This poor guy. I'm just absolutely shitting on him. Fuck that guy. That guy, of all the guys we shit on, don't feel bad about him. I love it. Well, thanks so much, dude. This is a great episode. And thank you guys. And we will talk to you next time. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.