#50 - Sydnee Washington
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Welcome everybody to Stabby's Rope. We have an incredible show for you. One of my favorite comics, one of my favorite people.

One of the first friends I've made in New York, Sidney Washington, is on the show today. But it's a very exciting time here at Stavi's World. We have the final shows of the Fat Rascal Tour. The final show ever of the Fat Rascal Tour is happening December 1st at the Beacon Theater. We sold out two shows already. We added a late show. Tickets are almost gone. I want you to be there. Come see me do this hour of material for the last time. And why is it the last time? Because a couple days later on December 5th,

Fat Rascal, the special, is premiering on Netflix, streaming on Netflix, and it'll be out there. I'm very proud of it. We worked really hard on it. And a lot of interesting stuff, a lot of exciting stuff I want you guys to be aware of. If you're in New York, come see me. If you're not in New York, please watch the special. And if you want to learn a language...

Download Babbel. That's right. If you want to learn the easy way, if you want to learn a language the easy way, use our friends at Babbel that are sponsoring us. They're doing a special limited time deal for our listeners to get you started right now. Get 55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash stavi. That's 55% off at babbel.com slash stavi.

Let's play the music.

Welcome everybody to Stop This World, 904-800-STOP. We've got one of my favorites, Sydney, Washington. We go all the way back from when I moved to New York. We were just talking. The podcast you guys really want is with a half hour we were just talking shit. Whoa. Before. We dropped some shit.

We really did. Some really good stuff. I said, man, it's hot. You came in hot. You came in hot. Sizzling fajitas. Came in hot. You're kind of spiraling right now. Truly. It's awesome. It's good. It's nice because you're spiraling, but you're under control. You know, no relapses. I'm sober. That's the only way. Sober. If you are going to unravel, it has to be on your own terms. That's right. And it has to not include tequila or cocaine or ketamine.

No. And I'm doing that. Good for you. I'm on the right path. You would have a great relapse. I will say that. The first week would be sick. I don't know. It would be the fall. Don't get me wrong. It would ruin your life. Yes, it would absolutely. But that first three weeks? I don't know. You know, I did a relapse. Oh, I didn't know that. I've been sober six years. Okay. But before that, I started those two years. Yeah. A relapse. I started drinking white wine. Mm-hmm.

doing cocaine and then riding my bike in 98 degree weather from Bushwick to Harlem. It was not good. That's wild. The fact that I did not die is crazy. That's insane. How long was that bike ride? Oh, when I tell you my ass was high. Yipped. I mean, I was high, my ass was high, everything was high. What were you going to Harlem for? Oh. On cocaine for pussy? No. Just for fun? Just to ride. The music was good. My speaker was fully charged.

And I said, damn. You know what? Even that's progress, though. I mean, I'm glad you're not relapsed, whatever. But to get cardio in on cocaine? Yeah. Much better than what you used to be doing. Oh, no. Absolutely. Much better than like, you know. In my mind, I said, if I ride, I'm riding off all of the demons. Right. Which, this is how dumb I am. Makes sense to me. Yeah. Have you done it? No.

Have you done it, Tommy? You think I should get on cocaine? You want my relapsed routine? I didn't know demons were a physical manifested physically in fat cells. Yo!

It's too much. Yeah, so you were here for years. You went to L.A. Yeah. Now you're back. Ooh. Tough. L.A. took me out, man. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if I was going to. I didn't think I was going to make it. Yeah. Oh, L.A. is not for anybody who has a soul. No, no. It's for the soulless and people who have purpose. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have that. You're just good at hanging out. No, no. I'm just a good person. You are. You're a good hang, for real. That just so happens to be talented. Yeah. Yeah.

Extreme ADHD. Self-sabotages. You know? Classic. Just a rag. Yeah. I mean, it's honestly probably lucky you weren't there when you were younger in the middle of your, like, relapse. Because here I feel like, you know, as far as a hot girl on drugs, being a bottle girl, probably one of the better things you could do. Yeah. It's mass. It's mass. It's actually way more accepted. When I got sober and I'm still a bottle waitress and they were like, you have to get out. Yeah.

You have to go. You're fucking up the vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the customers don't like it. Yeah, this hedge fund guy cannot, doesn't have plausible deniability that you might get, you might be on pills enough to suck his dick. Yeah. So you gotta go. You got to get out of here. They were like, so you keep telling him like, oh, I know what you're doing. Yeah. You keep telling the guy, oh, I see you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't like that. They don't like that.

That's a place for them to buy $600 bottles of Grey Goose and maybe finger an aspiring actress. Maybe. Maybe. But not back... You know what? Where I was at, they wasn't even doing that. Really? I would swear to you, the finance dudes, they are really specific in what they think is fun. Interesting. It's just like...

buying a whole bunch of bottles, doing a whole bunch of blow in their blazers. Right. They don't change. They go from the office to the club. They'll loosen a tie. And it's like, oh, wait. If you don't take that performance fleece off, sir. Right.

I'm fucking burning this place down. Okay, so they're not, it's more of a status thing for the other bros, you think? Yeah. Interesting. I think there's like probably one guy that's like probably getting hosed. Right. But then everybody else is like surrounding the guy who's getting hosed. Interesting. I'm like, where's the fun?

Right. Doesn't sound fun to me. No, no, no. So break down the different, what type of customer are we talking? We got the finance guy. We got the finance guy. We have the celebrity who's like, you know, they're comped, comped. Or they're using a card and then claiming that they were robbed. A classic move. They're cutting off their American Express bill.

I don't know. Someone took my, you know, those scammers. Then it's the people who like, they really do have money. They don't care. Right. Buy whatever. Right. Those people I respect because they don't want too much. Right. Interesting. They're like, we know what we're in here for. They don't think that we're trying to

you know, do the run around. There's no rigmarole. No need to scam them. To them, what's there between five grand and 20 grand? Nothing. Nothing. They're like, oh, the men is 20. They walk in. They're like, not much is going on. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bring bring more sparklers. It's fine. We'll make it. We'll make it a thing. And then there's the Saudis. Of course. The prince. You can't speak to them. Wow. They come in with their people. Don't touch them. Really? Don't. Oh, what's the point?

What's the point of even doing that? Maybe because I feel like in Dubai, it's illegal. Like, you can't... Or you can't drink. You can't drink. You can't be around hoes, I don't believe. No hoes or something. So when they're coming here, they're like, oh, this is the... I think... I would think the opposite. You're ready to go crazy. They probably are, but behind closed doors. Right, right, right. They can't do it out in the open. I mean, there's cameras and surveillance or whatever. But I remember...

this was the craziest night of my life. I had like so many tables that wanted to talk to me and I just was like, ew, please, can you stop? And then the Saudi Prince guy comes in, he's got all his people or whatever, he's ordering Johnny Walker Blue, he's getting Louis XIII, like crazy liquor. The tab is absurd, right? So I'm trying to like talk him up. Yeah.

Please don't. Don't talk to him. Don't even come close. And then I was like, the fuck? Oh, no, no, no. You're not going to silence a black woman. And so I kept trying to argue. To them, just silence. I don't know. That's a good, like, that's a great matchup is the misogyny of a Saudi rich guy versus a black woman on drugs. You know I was on drugs that night. I'm just kind of guessing. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

but I mean don't assume opinionated black woman on drugs versus Saudi prince that's a fucking celebrity death match right there that's a great versus so I keep trying to talk to him his bodyguard or whatever comes and they're like can you just please stop and I was like I don't understand and then they pull out a wad of money it's like $2,000 and they're like

here's $2,000 just to stop. Just to leave them alone. And I said, yeah, I don't care about feminism. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm taking the money. Salute. And then all the people who were trying to talk to me, I was like, oh, no, you have to stop. It cost $2,000 to get me to stop talking. Stop talking, yes. And they give you an over tip and everything. So it was like, I guess it doesn't pay to want to work. I don't know. No, no, no. You got to pick your... Or I think the moral of the story is

be so annoying people stop pay you to stop talking yeah yeah you know well i think he did understand that like i really did want i came in like let me do my job they're paid about to like spin a grip but they were like my my dress my chest is out my arms are out all this stuff so like for him it was literally against yeah it was literally haram your titties were haram

In that situation. And Marge Simpson, I don't know what. He might be right, but it sounds wrong. And I don't want... You need to open your horizons up. I'm a learned man. Split the screen. Slide me over. You said my titties were horizon.

Slide me over. I beg of you. Look, in most cases, they're halal. Yeah. Oh, okay. But in this specific situation, well, that's good, dude. We should tour Dubai. I'm Stavros Halalkias. Put me in one of those fucking white shits with the fucking bandana or whatever the fuck. I am not here. Saps out.

Cancel the bod, I don't know. Oh, fuck. I love it. That is a hilarious job. How long were you doing that? 10 years.

Ten years. Ten years. Ten years. And... A full decade. Yeah. I did a whole career. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had tenure in bottles. Yeah. And I think that's where I learned how to, like, kind of, like, be cool. Totally. Also, like, make money, be... Yeah. Bad decisions. Sure. Love terrible people. Of course. Make good friends. I will say...

The best friends I've ever had were people in nightlife. Even though they don't have no sense of like what the day is or like real issues. I mean, drugs and alcohol bring people together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I've had friends that like, yo, their mothers have died. We've come strung out to the funeral, come to freaking Connecticut. Crushed the eyes. Oh, yeah. No. Oh, there was one funeral we went to. People were definitely doing meth. Yeah.

To get up for the funeral? No, because they had a run. It was like Thursday, Friday, Saturday. The funeral's on Sunday. So they're like, oh, we haven't slept. So we're going to do some Tina. Crystal. Go to the mom's funeral. And we're walling in the back, but that's because we're coming down. That is true. Being like withdrawals are kind of the best thing.

There's the Venn diagram between withdrawals and a very person grieving very hard. Yeah. It's really similar. It's the same. So if you want to seem like you really care about someone. I mean, I did care, but also, you know, I was not doing meth that day. That day I was not participating. But it was like, it was crazy that we like...

I think sometimes you have to be on drugs and alcohol to show up anywhere. Oh, my God. Because sometimes it's like, what the fuck? What am I doing? Not funerals, but even that. It's just like you, the accountability that people have when they're lit is just stronger than anybody on any like weekday.

What do you mean by that exactly? It's like they're present. In L.A., people have canceled more. Yeah. Have all of the time. They will not. They don't want to agree or commit to anything. They just can't be bothered. Right. And then I've had more people like on drugs in droves show up for me in ways that I was like, I can't believe you're here. Yeah. You look a mess. Yeah, you look horrible. But thank you for being here. You shouldn't be here. You should bathe. But this is so sweet.

Yeah. Well, maybe that's because you had very good friends. You just had good drug addicts around you. I did. I did have good drug addicts. Yeah. And I'm still cool with a lot of them now. And they're all like, you know, obviously not partying the same. Yeah.

That's nice. That's so cute. To make it out of that, because that's the thing. It's like there is a high, like people don't make it, right? Or they don't become like functioning, sober people half the time. But the ones that do. I'm going to be honest with you. I know more comedians that have died than people in nightlife. Well, I mean, yeah. Well, what are we comparing now?

Yeah. What do you mean? I mean, yes, of course, comedians. But I just mean, like, anybody on drugs. I mean, comedians and nightlife people doing the same thing. True. Being fools. Yep, yep, yep. Getting paid for the foolishness. The nightlife people make way better money on average. I know, it's true. And it's, like, typically...

You're probably a hot girl, right? Most of the time. Yeah. Or a promoter who seems to be like the worst guy of all time. Yes. Like if you pick like the type of dude you don't want to be, it's a nightlife promoter. Right. So it's like, yeah, I don't know. But I feel like nightlife promoting is honest scams. It's more honest than anything else people are selling us right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flat tummy teeth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come to my conference. I'm going to teach you how to be a boss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The promoter is like, hey, I need you hot bitches. Y'all don't even know how to walk. Come with me. Let me teach you. I'll split a rainbow roll with y'all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we go to PhD. And you live the life. Interesting. And you might meet your husband there. It's wholesome pimping, it sounds like. Yes, it is wholesome pimping. Yeah.

You might meet your husband or you might get, you know, roofied. Whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. High risk, high reward. It's still an experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren't going to do that staying in the house on a fucking Thursday night. No. Yeah. You weren't. So we got the UAE Prince guy. We had some... You also... I have to give you credit because one of my favorite things on the internet that you used to do was the story time with Barbie. Yes, yes. Which you found... I have to give you credit. You found something that was incredibly work intensive, was very entertaining...

And really was not rewarded by the algorithm whatsoever. No, it was not. You kind of poured all your... I did. You made something hilarious, and it was just like... Stavi, can you talk to them? Tell them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're not going to listen to my black ass, so let them know. Well, you were just putting them in stories. To be fair, you were kind of dumb. You were just putting them in stories. It's like, those go away after a day. But I always enjoyed them. You get engagement. Like, people... You know how some people post things, and you're like, skip, skip, skip? Sure, sure, sure. I would have people...

I have really good retention. They will come back. They'll be like, hey. And I'll be like, BRB. They're like, hey.

Hey, you coming back? I'm waiting for this story. It was funny. You would be like, I got to be back. They were like, I'll be back in like an hour. And people would wait. Yes, they would wait. I would be like, oh, what the fuck is going on? Because some of that was pandemic too. So there was nothing going on. Oh, no, no. Sometimes I would be like, I'm getting in a car. Right. So I have time. Oh, now I met up with someone. I'm going to see them for a little bit. And then I got to... And then I'll be talking. I'm like, yo, I got to find more Barbies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, what? And I'm finding random Barbies in different situations. And then...

Then I started getting real visual, the cinematography. Sure, it was really good. I was like, are they archived anywhere? Yes, I put them on my page there in the, what do you call that? Yes, the highlights or whatever. Highlights, the highlights. Put them on, make a reel out of them. I've made a couple of reels and it's been okay. But I do say this, like the algo, you have to be consistent.

You have to look a certain way. Sure, sure, sure. You have to abide by the Instagram, you know, unspoken rules to really thrive. But those are just also to, those are just good stories in the most classic, like,

I mean, I'm sure I'm not breaking any news to you, but make that a script. The bottle girl sagas are like... Oh, yes, yes. We're working on it. We got people. People are attached. We're going to... It's going to get sold. If you need somebody to play a DJ in a tracksuit... Oh, no. Stop it. Don't you worry, honey. You... You know, I'm the guy giving you the rainbow rolls. I'm like...

Come on, girls. Look alive. Wow, you're really putting it on. And we need to cut that up. Are you having flashbacks? No, I'm going to put it in a demo. Put it in the sizzle reel. Yeah, the demo for the show. Because you really did nail it. You did. Yeah.

Well, give us one more. Give us another good one, a story from that kind of time. Or anybody. Oh, yeah. Anybody you like? A character you bumped into? Okay, so, you know, men come in there and you're like, how do they have power? They don't know what the... As soon as they get fucked up, it's like...

we can rob you. So this guy, he lived on the upper East side. Very, very wealthy dude. He, um, and he would come in. So he's coming in by himself. So those are the perfect one. Cause you're like, you just want a friend. I mean, you could just pay for an escort, but you want, you want some lights and you want, you don't want to go to a strip club cause that's, you don't do that. But you're just going to go to the nightclub, befriend a girly. And then you're like, Oh,

I'm buying this crazy Medusa size bottle of Cristal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're both going to drink it. Yeah. We're both going to drink it together. And he came in several times and he would get so fucked up and he would pay me a lot. And what's this guy look like? What are we talking about? Good, good.

Nondescript. Nondescript. If he's in a... Regular ass, 50-year-old. Yes, yes. White dude. But the grayish hair. You know, he's gonna get really good suits. Interesting. Like, he takes care of himself. Like a guy in the background of a scene in Succession. Yes. Not the main guy. Not the main guy.

Not the main guy, but he's like eating fucking sausages behind Tom Wogs Boggums or whatever the fuck his name is. Right, but he's got to have enough money to even be in the room. But he's in the room, but he's not the main guy. No, he's not the main guy. Okay, cool, cool, cool. But he came in times and like, you know, hit me off with money and buying bottles. But he would get so fucked. I would have to get in a car with him and drop him off at his place. Jeffrey Epstein's mansion. Yeah.

Sidney was friends with gray-haired, rich guy, nondescript Upper East Side. Sidney was... Don't put him on. Do not put him on. I don't know you. Nondescript, quiet guy. You gotta stop with the bullshit. He seemed like he was really guilty about something. He just needed to drink to forget.

I didn't sign up for this shit. Okay? I'm trying to come in here with my sweet Christian comedy and you over here taking it all the way somewhere else. So anyway, I drop him off. He's in this door, man. He sees me. He's like, oh, I know what it is. Right, right, right. I'm going to get him upstairs. Yeah. So this one time, I think this is actually probably the last time I saw him. He comes in. He...

this is, I think this is like right before, I think this is during Halloween or whatever. He comes in. He spends like 20K. Damn. By himself. God damn. And I'm getting the girls. We're drinking. And this is just drinks? Do they have food here or nothing? There is a restaurant by the end. Yeah, he's just drinking. It's like, damn. Yeah. You're like, only the real folks. Yeah. You know that. After getting fucked up. Yeah.

Yeah, the real ones. I'll take that. Stop touching me during this bit. I don't know why you have to keep making contact with me. The cool kids. I don't touch the fat statue either. So...

spends $20,000. Holy shit. I'm in a... God damn, that's crazy. I'm in a white rabbit, the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland outfit. Yes. Oh, I think you've posted a picture of this. Yes, they painted my face. My nose was black. I'm doing cocaine, so I keep getting...

My nose is fucking rubbed off. It's white and it's gray. Horrible move to get nose paint when you're doing fucking lines all night. Yes, and they were like, hey, the customers are saying stuff. I was like, that means the party's bad. That means people are sober. That means the vibes are off. The DJ's not spinning. Yeah. That means you guys need to do better. If they're noticing stuff like this. They're noticing that I'm clearly doing cocaine. That's on you. That's on you.

By the way, I love that you're talking back. You're just doing drugs. The waitress. The lowest person on the totem pole. No, no. We make that thing go round, baby. We actually are the puppet masters of everything. We can string together a real good deal if we want to. This is great. I love the dynamics here. Yeah, so I'm White Rabbit or whatever and he's by himself and he's about to close out and

They're like, oh, I don't know if he can close out. He's done. Yeah. He gets the bill, writes $10,000 for a tip. On top of a tip. All right. There's already a tip included. We explain that to him. We get literally everybody from the club to verify because you got to verify. Yeah. When there's a big tip, somebody's got to verify. Then another person got to verify. The busser got to verify. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Makes sense. The bathroom attendant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole club is over it.

over looking over the check and we're like do you know that you're spending this he's like yes yes yes he's shaking his head and we're not pushing his head to say yes or anything like that we're not doing that he literally he's like I know I know I know yeah he's like oh bitch like this is crazy on top of our and this is like Halloween weekend whatever so like we already of course I

Have a flight At 8am To go to Miami So I'm done with it We I drop him off I come back to the club We celebrating We feeling good Of course Everybody's getting And everything is in cash Yeah So we paying everybody out We like This is crazy All this cash I got a flight I gotta go to Miami Yeah So I have the cash with me I don't go to the bank I have this cash To go to Miami Of course not

I got this money, so I'm like, I'm going to really... And what are you doing in Miami exactly? Well, my friend's boyfriend, who I didn't know was a drug dealer until...

He went to jail. I had no clue. Yeah, bitch, he's got yachts and this big ass mansion. He's Colombian. No, I didn't know. I didn't know he was this big. Hilarious. I didn't want to assume. Of course. But he might have been Venezuelan, actually. I don't know. That's fine. One of those. So we get there. But I have all this money. So I'm buying stuff. We go on to the strip club. I'm spending this money. By the second,

Second or third day, my manager calls me. He's like... Manager of the restaurant. Of the bar. Of the bar. Riffraffs. He's like, so we got a problem. Oh, no. I said, what's the problem?

Hey, man, I'm out in the sea. What's up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm shaking ass right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the problem? He's like, yeah, you know that guy. You know, you're regular. You know when they say regular, they trying to put it on you. Of course. When y'all, this whole... Yeah, your guy. This whole block verified the check. Yes, yes. He said...

He said he didn't mean to give $10,000. He said he will pay for, obviously, the $20,000 of stuff he bought. And whatever, like, there's a tip included, right? Yes, he'll do that, but he's not. He needs that 10K back? No 10K. Damn. And I said, no.

He said, well, whatever you say, when you come back, have that money ready. Wow. He said everybody in the club has to give their money back. Wow. That's crazy. Everybody's got to give their money back. How were you even going to retrieve $10,000 that you gave to like... Well, we split it. We split it amongst each other. That's like what, 14 people? Oh, my money was gone, baby. Yeah, of course. My money was gone. We went to Tootsie's. I was getting garlic parmesan wings. I said, double it, triple it, bitch. I was like, put it in.

Put extra platinum in. Pour Hennessy on top of it. That money lasted three days? Oh, I was clowning. Respect. That's awesome. I said,

What's up? We're living, laughing, bumping it up. Why must I follow the rules? Yes, yes, yes. So we had to give the money back. And I was like, I got to work overtime. Because the Busters, I feel bad. Of course. Because it's not like, my money's sure. I'm going to make it back. No, that tip, yeah. I sold ass after that. Open that rectum wide.

For Jose. Do it for Jose. Come on, he's got a family. Him and his nine kids are in a one bedroom. Do it for Ali. Come on. No, no, but we got the money. But that's how it works. That's crazy. And that guy never came back, huh? No, bitch, because for me, he blocked. Of course. He blocked. If he comes in,

I'm making a call. Somebody waiting outside for me. And we know he got the money. Yes, absolutely. We know he got the money. And these guys just wanted to be friends. He wasn't trying to fuck? Or he was, but he was too timid? He never asked. He just like, you know...

If you know me, sober, I'm literally a really good time. But when I used to party, my phone would be buzzing. Literally, everyone would text me, where you at? What you doing? You at work? What's up? What's up? I have never felt that much love. Yeah.

In my entire life. Love is what you would call that. Love. Wow, someone from a really stable family, if I had to guess. If that's what love is, you're like, wow. Yo, when I tell you my birthday, my birthday, I would have 400 text messages.

from any and everybody I'm talking about. We, yeah. Bathroom attendants. Hell yeah. I was a really good time. Of course, I could see it. A New York staple. And so, yeah, I could see this guy being like, I want to be her friend. Yeah. But, yeah, I learned a lot working there and then now I'm reformed. Reformed, yeah. I,

I am gay now. You're gay now. Yeah, it's, you know, you have a chance to turn it around, guys. Turn it around. Turn it around. You can be dick free for what, going on how long now? Oh, boy.

Oh, did we have a relapse? I'm not saying. Wow. I refuse to say. I'm not getting paid for this pod. No, we'll tip you 10K. Yeah, don't worry about it.

Wow. Okay, well look, we all make mistakes. But you know about me, I'm going to take that ticket. And they're not getting it back. Officer, I've been robbed.

You know, you don't even have to do that. American Express, Realty, American Express, you call them, you tell them, no, no, no, no, they take it off. American Express, whenever American Express would come in, they'd be like, yo, we honestly don't even want to take their card. We'd rather a Discover card over it. Right, right, right. Because they would just take it. Oh, interesting. That's why some places don't take American. Yeah, well, some finance dudes, I even, I had a boyfriend who would,

Use his business card and then he bottles him. And then you call in the next day. I'm like, I don't know where my card is. I don't know what happened. We're at Greenhouse. I don't know what. That's a crazy move. Oh, yeah. And American Express customers are almost always right. Yeah. Nice. We got to get some Amex's, Elders. We do. You don't have one? No. You should have one. I should get one. That's crazy. You're doing so well. Yeah. I've never thought about doing a minor credit card scam, though. But maybe. Maybe.

But you just American Express is good for like the points and Okay You know Yeah I don't know shit You'd be on a plane and stuff I am on the plane that is true I'm on the plane every fucking You in the front of the plane or the back of the plane? Come on I'm in the front of the plane

of the plane. Okay, so yeah. So it's just like you get these cards, you get all these perks and stuff. I know you in the Sky Lounge and whatnot. Yeah, we're in the lounge. We're eating those fucking weird little meatballs they got before flights. They're okay. I can't wait. I want that for me. It's honestly not that good. It's not that good? Not worth it. Not worth it? No. I don't know. It's just you're away from the refresh. Here's what I'll give you. The bathrooms are worth it.

You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, because you can take a shower and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like they have good... Yeah, it's not an airport. It doesn't feel like a junior high bachelor, which is what most airports feel like. I mean, it's always just about luxury, so... Yes. It's a little... It's definitely a little better, but it's not like, I mean, you know...

I don't know what the fuck I was expecting. Because it is funny when you have no money and then you get some. You're like, this is going to be... I'm going to... Me and the Queen of England will be in the same fucking place. You know what I mean? Well, I will say for myself, that's what was going on when I was making that kind of money. The thing is, though, I had no sense of, like, what...

How much I was going to make. Because I rarely put it in the bank. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have cash underneath the mattress in different shoe boxes. Yeah. I would have a little bit of money in the bank so they don't know. Right, right, right. Ooh, child. We're going to have to bleep stuff out. Yeah, yeah. The government already know all this stuff. Yeah, yeah. The IRS didn't have to know about every tip. Every tip from a lonely man on the upper east side. I mean, they're not telling us.

There you go. Flip it on it. Flip it on them. Yeah, where's our fucking tax dollars going? I see the streets. They fucking fucked up. You give us universal health care, maybe the money's coming out of the fucking Louboutin box. Maybe I'm putting it in a fucking bank account to get taxed. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. I just love the idea that you were also just in my... You really were just trying to have a good time. Always. Do you think... And because it's like...

It does strike me the amount of like just platonic good times you were having, even as like a drug addict, which is like, I wonder, I don't know. Do you think part of that is like that you were gay and you didn't know it and you were like not really fucking girls? So you were like, ah, you know, I'm not really trying to fuck these guys, but I don't know. Is there some element to that? No, I was hooking up. Okay, let's get this right. I was hooking up with men. Yes. Just not men with money. Oh, wow.

What? Fucking good guys. You were fucking bums? Oh, yeah. Because then they know that I'm with them for them. Oh, my God, dude. You know what I mean? I like... Yeah. Because I have learned as, like, an older... Sure.

There's a lady who's wise. Yeah, yeah. People have sex or a date or whatever. Date people in their class. It's all like socioeconomic. People usually date people who are in their circle. Sure. Financially, socially, you know, how they're raised. So even though I was making this money and I'm hanging out with those rich dudes, I didn't see it. Interesting. I didn't want it. But like.

Guys who are more around the way or, you know, come from broken homes. You just didn't respect yourself enough, honestly. I wouldn't say I didn't respect myself. Come on. I would say. Come on. Some of these guys? Well, some of these guys were also just like... I mean, I'm not saying that those rich guys all were... They're trash, too. They're definitely trash. They're trash, too. But you meet one that's nice and he happens to be rich. There's nothing wrong with that. They're not fun. Yeah, you're probably right about that. They're not fun. And that's what I...

I think men fail to realize they're like, if I get all these things and do all this stuff, this will make me cool. It will not. You're still that guy. You're still at the core of it.

You're a tech billionaire. You're still the dork that couldn't really talk to women. Yes. Yes, I get that. And the guys, I don't know who your clientele is, but I feel like they got a little something, you know? What do you mean, my... Like, you're the people who follow you. Yes. I don't know if they're millionaire billionaires. No, they're definitely not. But they definitely have a good... We got a wide swath on Stavi's World. We got the whole team on here. Exactly. They have the possibility of... We're a rainbow coalition. Ha ha ha!

Rainbow Coalition of Windbreakers. This is a tracksuit. This is a tracksuit. Thank you very much. It's not a windbreaker. Sorry. I would be pretty cold if I went outside right now. Doesn't protect much from the elements. It's more a style piece. It's a style piece. It's posh on.

It's fashion, you're right. Dapper Dan. No, but you know what? I shouldn't show you because that actually, I do actually respect that because that's, there is something cool about that being like, you know, I have access to all this stuff, but yeah, these people, I don't see them, you know, there's nothing...

There's nothing truly redeemable from them, and you're just kind of like, you're at work. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I think that's why I was able to last as long as I did. Why I didn't get sweeped up and someone fucking saved me because I was too busy being grounded. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, no, I like the cool people. Right, right, right. And what you learn, especially being in this industry, the coolest people...

they're probably not the most successful. No. They're not, like, slinging on TV. The most successful people are sociopaths. Yes. Yeah. It's the same way, like, politicians... Anyone who wants to be president is a bad person. Why would you want this? Is a sociopath. Why would you want this? Who thinks they need to be in control of everything. Why? And you're not even really in control. You're just the face of this Supreme Court. No, I don't... Yeah, there we go. I definitely feel it where I'm like, I don't want to fucking, like...

The last couple years have been so busy with shit and I'm just like, this isn't what I did comedy for. I didn't do comedy to have a job.

And it's like... It's a job. It sucks. It's become a real job. I mean, don't get me wrong. Thanks for everybody and everything. And we're taking time off the road next year. But Stavi's World, we love doing, actually, because we get to just do whenever the fuck we want. You have been doing a lot. And traveling and doing... Like, being on the road is really hard on your body. Yeah. And, you know, you haven't mastered Hollywood yet. No, no, no. I don't know if that is...

Due to your podcast, but... I don't want to do... I mean, I would like to act a little bit, but that's the other thing. It's like... But you're good. You would go in and you would be you. Yeah. And that's what the camera loves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I want to act a little bit, but I also have just seen what, like... Just getting a little taste of, like... Like, I'm not at the upper levels at all, but just, like, kind of... I've at least been able to kind of, like, peek in through the window with that shit. And I'm like...

Ah, that life is kind of brutal. Like, I kind of just want to, like, I just, I got a place in Baltimore. I wanted to buy a place here, but even when you're fucking doing great, you need to be like a Saudi prince to buy a place here. It's wild. It's fucking insane. But I'm just like. I was, when I was waitressing, I was able to get a apartment in Harlem, brownstone, backyard.

A basement, washer, dryer, big ass walk-in closet, small kitchen, but everything else. Because they're like, you're not cooking, bitch. You're doing drugs. Are you cooking coke? Are you doing your own crack? Yeah, exactly. Artisan homemade crack? $1,900. Wow.

Wow. You'll never get that again. No, that's over. And I think when my landlord had bought the building, it was like beautiful price. Totally. That's not happening. No, no shit here is like, it's the amount of money is like, you're like, that can't happen. Like no one has that money.

Yeah. And we're realizing every day on TikTok, they don't have that money. No. No, no, no, no. Everything is about to collapse any day now. Oh, yeah. Every day. You know, subscribe to the Patreon folks. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I will say this. You are providing a service. Sure. And you're providing entertainment that you're not getting on TV, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because this is unfiltered. Yes. And it's curated in a way that's of your mind. Of course. People I like. Yeah, people you like. So I think...

That is worth paying for. It's a lower level version of the bottle girl experience. You know what I mean? It's like friendship. You know what I mean? It's like a type of friendship. You know what I mean? Sure. Not hot girl. People aren't trying... Well, not everybody. Most people aren't trying to fuck me. But, you know, that's the thing with like... You mean your guests? No, no. I'm talking about people listening, people watching. That it's like... It's similar to like...

the most successful things are people kind of selling or just like creating an atmosphere of like intimacy of some kind right this is more of just like fucking around with your friends than like a rich guy who's so lonely he just wants to be surrounded by hot girls who smile at him but you know there's something to just and I actually feel like

through what we do, especially we've been doing these live calling shows that are really fun. You get to actually like interact with people. I did that. Remember, yeah, you're an OG, Stavi solves your problems. Yeah, that was fun. They were very nice comments. Yes, yes. She's hot, I want to be her friend. She's cool, yeah. I love black women. Yeah,

Cool. Yeah. So you were on the very early version of the show. Yes, but I do think that what you're doing is sometimes cooler than what's curated on a network or whatever. Oh, definitely. And then you do realize... Everybody gets to find shit that they actually like. Yes. And a lot of times people are doing stuff they don't even have any real fucking say. Their name is on there, but they don't... Somebody...

20 other fucking white dudes with bad hairlines have already been like, nope, nope, nope. What do you mean other? Did you just mean... Not you. Yeah. What do you mean other? I think you just meant 20 white dudes with bad hairlines. I have a beautiful thick mane of hair. Yes.

But I've learned through bottle waitressing and you don't want to be too rich and you don't want to be too cool because it is so sad. Sucks. And that's why, like, I don't know if you feel this way about, like, trying to figure out the next phase of just being a fucking person of just, like...

figuring out your life. I mean, I know you're going through it right now. You're in the middle of a fucking... Oh my God! You're in the middle of... We haven't... You know, the break... You're going through a breakup. I had a breakup. Yes, I had a breakup in July. And then I came back here. I gave up a lot of stuff to move to L.A. and be in a relationship. Yeah. And from afar, I mean, you know, we're friends, but it wasn't like...

It wasn't like, you know, we were talking every day. I was like, part of me was like, oh, nice. She's giving it a real go. You know what I mean? Like, and maybe we'll never see Sid again. Maybe Sid's gone. And the crazy thing is I would be on shows like, yeah, New York, fuck y'all. Y'all dusty. Like,

I'm going to LA. I'm about to be better than y'all. I got a fucking balcony, not a balconette. And then I got there and I was like, wow, none of that matters. Because New York, you could be in the nitty gritty, not have a lot of space. It can be very chaotic. But there's a sense of community and a sense of self. 100%. People are more creative. And you just...

I work well under these circumstances. In LA, you have to be really strategic. I think you like a little chaos. I do like chaos, but you have to be really strategic there and you have to be able to use people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to use them. You have to be like, this is my network. I'm calling. I'm making a call.

What you doing? What you doing for me? Oh, I'm not meeting up unless we... What we doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we just be hanging for no reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Absolutely. There's very little hanging for fun over there. No. Everybody's got to drive 40 minutes to meet anywhere. And I get it, because it's like, bitch, if I went over there 40 minutes and, one, the vibes are not good. Yeah.

Somebody not sucking me off. The food is bad. What are we doing? I'm with you. Yeah. So what's it like? What's your grand return been like? Were you, what's the, you got a balconette again? What do you got? Are you still living? You used to live in a whole, you used to live like barely in New York. Are you back? Are you back there? Yeah.

Oh my God. Thanks for coming. Would it take you two hours to get here? No, actually only 35 minutes. There we go. Cause you also live very far out. I do. And we're not that far. Relax. Relax. Yeah. Yeah. Your neighborhood versus my neighborhood. I think, you know, I pulled up, I said, stop this.

Are you sure? I think I got the wrong name. This looks very homely in the sense where the old Nana's at. Yeah, we got some. I like hearing old Greek people yell at each other. What can I say? It makes me feel like home. That's your chaos. That's your chaos. But yeah, before I left, I had like a sex lady dungeon den where it's just like a whole bunch of euphorialites and plants that died. Yes, I remember that. Yes.

cool color painting. You were big on the Euphoria lights. Yes, a lot of paintings, but just like, you know, two bedroom, two cats. I was like living it. I felt good. Like just hot lesbian. I was giving lesbians a good name for themselves. You were.

And then I moved back. I'm living with my really like one of my best friends and her husband and her two cats. Oh, hell yeah. And it's, it feels like it's a TV show because every day I'm like, man, I got to get my life together. I got to get it together. It's like, and then I'm like, are they having sex? Yeah.

Am I in the way? But, whoa, they have been texting. Oh, man, she cooked that dinner last night. And I was like, why do I need to get my own place? This is great. This is fucking how you live. Yeah. But, yeah, I came back. And, honestly, I've never heard so many people be like, Sydney, New York is complete. Now you're back. Hell, yeah. There was something missing when you were gone. And, like, comedy is more fun. I didn't feel that way. I thought it was fun. Oh, wow. Well, bitchy.

You weren't even here. You're on space. You're in space doing fucking 30 minutes. Shut the fuck up. No, you're right. You're right. No, I'm thrilled you're back. Yeah, it's been fun. Everybody's been hanging out. I've been like... I've been getting into it. I've been doing anything dumb. Making some errors. Oh, if it's dumb, capital D, I'm into it. I love it. Let's do it. Yeah, I'm like...

you know, I, I feel like, damn, I'm, I'm going to be 40, not, not next year or the year after that. I don't know when I'm going to be 40, but eventually. And I'm like, yo, why does everything have to be perfect? Why does everything, why do you feel like you have to have your life together? What is your life together? And I've met so many people who,

lives are together and it's like but you're not happy so what are we doing you know so I'm just I'm really just trying to live life and we'll figure it out and I'm putting less restrictions on myself which makes me it's

Now we're talking. Yeah, a couple relapses. No. But not the drug kind. No, not... Oh. You're not pulling me back into that. But I will say this. I'll say this on cam. Please do. You know, for me, for some reason, it's just hard for me to meet women. They...

will not talk to me. If they do, they want to be my friend or maybe they are attracted to me, but there's something about my energy that they're like,

I don't know if they're intimidated. Maybe they're intimidated because I am funny and like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I talk shit on stage. Of course. But if you know, like, on stage, off stage. But once you see me, like, once you look at me directly, you're like, oh, she's a sweet girl. Totally. She used to be ugly. Totally, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, she's good inside. I used to be ugly. We haven't even gotten to the fact you were a child who set your house on fire. I did set...

my house on fire when I was 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, I have... Comes from some chaos, yes, for sure. So, yeah, I... If you really get down to it, you're like, oh, no, she's mad cool. Definitely. But maybe some people are like, she's too good for me. I can't do it. Oh, that's interesting. And that's why men love you.

I love the men, they're like, they should not be with me. Oh, of course. So that's why they keep fucking. Nothing better than a girl that's so much better than you. Oh, they just won't stop. I love dragging them down to my level. They won't stop. Come on down, girls. They won't leave me alone. And so now I'm like, I'm definitely, I'm not bisexual, but I'm like, I will entertain y'all foolish men. You hear that, girls? I'll go on a date. This is how much you're fucking up.

Sid is even considering fucking guys again. Come on, let's get some hot lesbians in here. Yeah. Let's get my friend Sid shacked up. I've been in two back-to-back serious relationships, right? And they were amazing, like really amazing women. I would not take back anything. But I'm also like, damn, I keep getting in relationships so I'm not really dating. And I don't know how to date. It does feel like lesbian dating is...

Every lesbian I know is like, oh yeah, I went on one date and really liked her and we were married for eight years. Like that's every single, like every close, every lesbian in my life has that story at least once.

three times in her life. She's ended up in like a crazy, where it's like, I mean, gay guys, it's the hilarious polar opposite. Where it's like, oh, hello, nice to meet you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're just sucking each other off and then they shake hands and they're like, well, see you at tennis next week. With the screens, with the screens.

Oh, like I'm off on this one. Take the screen up, Elda. She knows it's true. No, it would only make sense if you were a gay man saying that. Come on, I'm a man with eyes. With gay friends. Straight man in a tracksuit saying, spewing this hatred. I'm not spewing anything. You cannot be involved.

It is against my brand. I will not. I'm making cogent observations about the human condition. You're not wrapping me in your bigotry. You're Adidas bigotry. I'm not doing it. It's a puma.

Puma, Adidas, they all are like, hey, gays and blacks. By the way, I'm a big fan. I'm saying you guys got something to learn from gay guys. You don't need to go that wild. You know, there don't need to be any pussy eating glory holes. But you could do a little more hooking up is all I'm saying. I don't know. Hooking up is so intimate. It's so intimate. And it's like, especially if you're a lesbian, because it's like, I really do feel like it's about connection and like energy and it.

Some of the hottest girls, you're like, I don't know how we're going to do this because you're just, we're too looking on the outside and we want to look good. Yeah, sure. It's so easy to get banged out by a dude because you're like, the light ain't going to be bad. The sheets are going to be dirty. What do they care? They don't mind. Like, they didn't put lotion on for four days. But like, girls, you want to make things right. You want to caress. You want to make sure they feel good. You're like, did you eat? Like, what kind of food did you eat? Right, right, right, right. You just want to have things in order. Mm-hmm.

And you also want to like, I think you can, I think there's people who could hook up with men and not like be obsessed. But a woman, I don't know. I'm going to have to really have strong feelings to just like make out. I can't just make out with any girl. Really?

You know, like, oh, I could just fuck her one time and never see her again. No, because my girls, my friends are good looking. So it's not like I'm not used to attractive women. Sure. So that's nothing for me. So it's like, okay, what's next? And then on top of that, my best is Marie. Stop.

hottest sure funniest coolest girl Marie's the best so it's like I'm not sure I don't want to be with her so it's like some hot bitch comes in you ain't got no jokes yeah I'm not really in I'm not yeah but she's bringing something else to the table what do you want the fucking them that she also wants to fuck you you know what I mean no I don't I just I feel maybe it's because I'm older or I've been in some of these relationships where it's just like

Sex is not all that. It's so good. It's so good. But it's like, it's just the glaze. So then what are you looking for then? Because what you're talking about is you're literally queuing yourself up for another relationship. Like you just said you want to date. I know. That's why I say my mind, I don't know how to turn it to the like, yo, just have a good time. Just go on a date. Just chill. And then, you know, these...

You go online and these fucking idiots are projecting their bad dates and their stupid information on everybody. And so that's the that's the go to like, yeah, we can't do this. We can do that. Oh, you giving it up? Oh, you whore. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a whore. We're pro whore podcast here. Let's get the body count up. Don't even talk to me if it's not 15 and above.

Don't even make... Don't hit my DMs. Go suck a couple people off and let's get to 15. That's what I'm saying. I don't... I feel like don't be a hoe with men, but like maybe a hoe with women? Well, not... Maybe not all men, but... Because you know, there's just so many venereal diseases coming out of... Well, usually... Steeping out of that urethra of y'all's. Listen, be a hoe with women too. That's awesome too. Yeah. I'm a big fan of that. I just...

you know what I want to I want nice I want like cool dates like you know it doesn't have to be expensive but I would like a good time because I know what I'm bringing to that you're gonna have I'm gonna have good stories you are a great time I'm not gonna trauma dump I'm gonna look good and there is plenty of trauma folks and she does not do it just listen to what I'm saying

If you want to hear it, you ain't got to hear it from across the table. You're going to be in a car. And it's going to be a car ride for three hours. And you're going to get it good. It's going to be raw. Yeah, come back. We'll have so much more. We've got to get you and Marie together on here for sure. Oh, first of all, we'll take over. Remember when you did our pod? It was so good. So fun. It was just like, I think you were the body positivity expert. I was. And this was before Lizzo. Back in the day. Adele. Adele.

It was before. You were the very first positivity for the body, bitches. I really was. I was naked before my career was going well. Yo, you really... I was just a fat guy, nude on the internet. You walk so Lizzo can shame other fat bitches. You did that. That's what you did. You're doing great work, stop. Thank you, thank you. That was a great pod. That was so long ago. And it was... So long ago. And that... Because I was with you guys...

I was not a storyteller at all in my act at all. And I just had a very fucking weird threesome. And because I told it on the podcast, I was like, let me try this on stage. And that became the bit that I did to end my special. It was so good. That was so fun. I would say, of course, two black women giving the alley oop.

Allie, it was not, no one better. No one better. You guys are the best. It was so good. We were asking really good questions and you were giving it to, and it was, I was like, damn. I was like, stop, it's good. I was like, oh, at first when you were talking about sex, I was like, how? And then when you started talking and after I understood, I said, I get it. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for that resigned acceptance that I get, that I get pussy. Yeah.

Well, something about the food choice that you were getting before the threesome. I think you had like egg rolls. Yeah, I was fucked up. It was bad. It was bad. An egg roll before a threesome? I was spiraling. You were not asking to have a good time. No, no. I didn't think I was. I mean, this has all been covered. I didn't think I was going to fuck them. I thought it was like a weird bring your friend. Because it's the internet. I'm just some guy. So I was like, I just thought they were bringing a friend here.

To make sure I'm not a lunatic. The one time you were not delusional as a man. I salute you. I was also very depressed. If you don't think you're going to get fucked, you're going to get fucked. It's true. It's a weird, it's a weird, that is actually, that's happened to me plenty of times. I think you're kind of aloof too. I can be. About it. Like, cause you're just like, no man. Definitely now I don't even give a fuck. There've been times where I'm like, I guess we can have sex.

See? But now you understand me as a lesbian. Oh, interesting. It's like, you've done, I've done it. I've done it, especially as a woman. Well, there's an element of depression to it too, though. Yeah, that will lay it on thick. You know, Sydney, I think people would respect you more if you knew another language. Yeah, you should download Babbel.

Did you know that one in five Americans, listen to this, Sid. What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual. Someone who speaks two? Bilingual. Someone who speaks one? American. That's right. Only 22% of Americans speak a language other than English at home. Start learning a new language this fall and be the exception, not the rule.

You know, me and Eldis, we're already bilingual, but we're trying to be trilingual with Babbel. Because with Babbel, you start speaking a new language in just three weeks. Instead of paying hundreds of dollars for a private tutor or fooling yourself with language apps that are little more than games, Babbel's quick 10-minute lessons are designed by over 150 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks.

It's fast, baby. It's beautiful. With over 10 million subscriptions sold, Babbel is real language learning for real conversations. I do love Babbel. It sends me a little reminder. I start my day learning. I'm back on Spanish. What can I say? You know what I mean? People have that on their bucket list. People want to learn a new language for multiple reasons.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. I'm looking for a Latina mommy in my life. So I'm trying to get my Spanish in there. I'm still very basic. I've had to repeat certain things. I'm very sleep. But even for my sleep-deprived, drug-addled mind, these lessons flow right by. They remind you in the morning. I love that. I start my day with it.

It's easy to pick up, you know, I've thrown a little Spanish in there. Has it gone over great? You know, I've gotten a smile when I said tenada one time. Lady smiled at me because I said it, you know, she said, thank you for a tip. I just I just like no problem. No problem. That's how the fuck we get down around here. I got to get my confidence up. I got to keep the lessons going. But I love it. It's so nice. And here's what I really like.

You don't want to be one of those assholes that just reads the... You just read it. You don't know how to speak it. Literally, the micro... You repeat... One of the parts of the lessons that I love the most is you repeat what you just said and they critique your pronunciation. Babbel's speech recognition technology helps you to improve your pronunciation and accent because I drift a little too Greek with it sometimes. I think just because I speak a different language, all of it... And I do think Spanish...

Spanish with a Greek American accent is better than just an American accent. But still, I want to be kept honest. And that's why, you know, I just have, I have the, I say, you know, even if it's a, if, you know, thank you. Gracias.

You know? Do I overdo it sometimes? Sure. But I love that element of it. It's the best. And here, there's a special offer for our listeners here at Stavi's World. They have a deal right now. You get 55% off your Babbel subscription. Only for our listeners. At babbel.com slash stavi. Get 55% off at babbel.com slash stavi. Spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash S-T-A-V-V-Y. Rules and restrictions may apply.

But do it now. It's easy. It's the best. Thank you to our friends at Babbel. What do you think about that, Sydney? And if you think you're going to download Babbel, just continue the conversations if I hadn't said anything. Where you're like, damn, I'm dry. You can't even cry on it. It's still dry. Yeah.

Fucking Zola bitch I was like I would rather just be sad So I can come and feel horny Absolutely No I get it Well yeah you're gonna have to come back We haven't even gotten into all the trauma dumping you don't do on dates Oh my god There's so much to get into It's so much Now we should Let's get Let's do some calls Let's solve some problems This is where I shine Yes you do for sure

Hey, Stav. Hey, Elvis. Big fan of the show. Can't hear. I basically hear you, Elvis. Big fan of the show.

Hey, Stav. Hey, Elvis. Big fan of the show. Thank you. Basically, here's the issue. So I quit getting drunk and using drugs in like the middle of 2019. And basically, it was just like ruining my fucking life. So I had to quit. And I'm not like a card-carrying, alcoholics-anonymous person or anything. Like, I still have a glass of wine on a special occasion or drink a beer like once a month or something. Interesting.

And all my friends are like really supportive. I'm not friends with any real party boys or party girls. And my handsome Greek boyfriend is really supportive as well. He doesn't really get drunk and we don't keep alcohol in the house. The main issue is my family. Everyone in my family loves to get wasted. That's crazy. Just like all the time. And for whatever reason, they're always trying to get me wasted.

to have a drink when I hang out with them and they take it really personally if we go out to lunch or dinner and I just order like a Diet Coke. That's fucking insane. And normally I don't have to be around them that much.

But recently I was visiting with them for like five days and it just like it ruined the whole fucking vibe that everyone was so mad that I wasn't drinking and they were like making fun of me for not drinking. They gotta be from the South. We're the Midwest. I just don't know what to do about it. Like since these people are immature, should I just like try to limit how much I see them in general? Or should I try and set a boundary with these creeps?

Let me know. Thanks, guys. Damn. Yikes. Yeah, I mean, that's crazy. That is literally crazy. Your family's behaving like frat boys. Like, this is behavior that you do. Like, this is how I acted when I was 19, and a friend was like, no, I'm not drinking that. I'm like, pussy. Fuck you, dude. And we'd try and, like, you know, waterboard him with fucking pop-off vodka. That's crazy.

That's fucking crazy for your family to be like, why aren't you drinking? Actually, it's not crazy. Really? Because sometimes I feel like your biggest haters or bullies is family. Yeah. And they put it under the guise of like, we're family. So they think like what they're doing is cute and funny and like.

You know, we just fucking around. And it's like, nah, I'm really taking this serious. And you're affecting me and you're fucked up and you probably have problems and you're projecting. And you're like, it's a layered things. And because we put so much on the title of family, we give them this leeway. We like put up with it. It's toxic. And it's different because it's like you're supposed to feel safe and you're not. And so one, how much money they got?

How much money your family has? Because I feel like if this is a broke-ass family, you'd be like, I'm out of here. They got money. They got money. And dad is drinking a Macallan 25. And he's like, yeah, good stuff, you fucking dumb bitch. And they're like, yeah, you won't get the trust fund and all this other stuff. You're like, I think I got to keep coming. If there's a down payment in it for you, maybe a Negroni every once in a while ain't the worst thing in the world. Yeah.

Um, that's true. I didn't think of that, but the, I, it feels more like broke behavior to me, but it's possible that they have money and they're just judgy, you know, cunts. Yeah. Um,

I would say, though, I mean, you're absolutely correct about the, like, sometimes your biggest haters are, like, you know, like, what's the saying? Like, a prophet has to leave where he's from or whatever the village he's from. It's like, because no one... Are you reading? Huh? No, I'm not reading. You got that on TikTok? I heard it somewhere. I'm reading a little bit, but not, you know, that didn't come from a book. It's basically, like, yeah, I think you have to... What I always say with shit like this is, like,

These people probably aren't going to react positively to a boundary. No. But you... I think you owe it kind of to yourself to give them the opportunity to, like...

clearly step over the boundary so you gotta cause that way they can't even be like well you never told us this you have to kind of lay it out for them like hey drinking too much was ruining my life I really don't want to drink every day I'm sober unless it's like a wedding toast or something I'm not drinking

And, and plea it really, you know, I feel like all this peer pressure is really negatively affecting me and it could lead to really bad things for me. And if they don't accept that, then I do think if that once they go over that boundary, I think what you do is just, yeah, limit the time you see them.

You know, you're in and out. You're in... You know, you go to holidays, whatever. Definitely don't spend five... I mean... Five days? I like my family, and I don't want to spend five days with them. That's fucking crazy. Five days at the house? You're not on a trip. Yes. You're five days at the house? At the house? Come on. No pool? You're asking for it. Yeah. You're asking for the trouble. That's too much time if you don't have a great relationship with your family. And so, yeah...

try and set the boundary they will probably trample it at least you've given them the opportunity not to fail you yeah and then when they do just you know yeah I think you're right unfortunately you gotta especially as Sidney said if this is a broke family get the hell out of there and

And I will say, there's been different times in my life. I have a pretty good relationship with pretty much everyone in my family. And then even people that I don't, I feel like maybe we're kind of rebuilding it here, whatever. But there were times where I wasn't around my family, where they were like...

You know, I was working through my own shit. They needed to work through their own shit. I've gone to therapy. Most of my family has gone to therapy. And there's times where I didn't see my mom or dad for a really long time. I didn't see my brothers. And I think all this shit also kind of shifts and changes. This might just be temporary, right? Like, they might need you to fucking...

go away so they can do some reflection of like wait what the fuck did we do that drove her away from us and it's like it might not happen it might not happen you know what they do yeah they probably do know but i think like all this stuff it's not final it's not set in stone but for now you as a person and then who knows maybe she can in the future if she feels like she has better control over her drinking this kind of peer pressure won't even affect her as much right this is true and i will say that as like somebody who's going on six years like i don't

I don't really, I know what it does. I know what it can do. I have fun with the people while they're getting fucked up and I just see like, damn, they're going to have a terrible day tomorrow. And I don't have to deal with that. And sometimes I wake up feeling hungover just with the weight of the world. Totally. Just no sleep. No sleep. You'll eventually realize like you can be around people who are drinking or whatever. But I think the biggest thing for this is that like,

I forgot who said this. I ain't afraid to cut a bitch off. Whatever lyric that is. You gotta let people know. You've been reading too? You will be chopped. You will be chopped. And that's the thing. When you meet people who are very like...

I don't have to deal with this. You respect them more and you respect their boundaries. For sure. But if you think you could get over on somebody, you're like, I'm not listening to them. I don't care. So I think moving forward with sobriety, you got to let people know. And I think they do that in AA or whatever. Like you, you, you're like, I will cut ties because this is about me. Don't make it about, don't say they drink too much or they're don't say like,

It's like you guys are alcoholics. For me, I can't be around this because this affects me. And just put it on you. And then be like, and if this ain't for y'all, then I'll see you when I see you. We don't have to be around each other like that. Totally, totally. And I think that is. And it's tough because family...

Pushes all your buttons Has all the guilt shit All that stuff But I think At least If they go over that boundary At least until you feel comfortable Being around that kind of drinking You kind of have to You kind of have to like Go your separate ways They gotta stop The family's gotta stop I don't know what I don't know what they're going through But they have to Get a grip I agree with you I'll just play another one for us pal

Yo, Stav, Eldest, and Guest. I'm calling. I just called a minute ago, but I'm trying to kind of edit my talking points so it just sounds more clear. In the future, don't let us know that. So I bought this gift for my now ex-girlfriend. She broke up with me, and it is a...

A leash and a collar. I know how you feel about my kind of people, but that's fine with me. I think you're hilarious. He's like, I know you're judging me, bitch. He knew what I was going to do when he said that. I bought it for her, specifically for her, and it doesn't have her name on it or anything, but... So how is it specifically for her? Because she broke up with me, I feel like it has no owner now, and I could give it to my next partner.

But it also holds like a little bit of a reminder of her in it. And so I'm just trying to figure out like, should I try to like resell it or like something? I don't know. It was never used. Yeah. For sale. One collar and leash. Never used. We're going to do it on Depop.

I think you'll enjoy calling me a fucking freak or whatever. Hey, come on, man. We're open here. Yeah, it's like you know what you're talking about. I know what it is. We're not going to drag you. Come on, dude. I am going to drag you for this is giving also broke energy. If just buy another one for your next hoe or give it to somebody else and they don't have to know.

Absolutely. Well, I get this though, right? This is... It's funny that it's a leash and a collar, but we've all been here. You know, like you break up with somebody, it's like, oh, that was their pillow. I can't bring... I have to... That pillow's got to go in storage for a year because I'm sad or whatever. You know what I mean? Like... Your wolf's the pillow. But I just mean like that you just like... Or whatever it is. There's just like some... There's a reminder of the person. Yeah. You know what I mean? And even though she never used it. Yeah. First of all, just...

The answer is, if this is still emotional for you, give it away. It's just really funny to be like... Give it to a friend. Yeah, I just... Oh, sorry, guys. I'm a little emotional. I just saw the cage my ex-wife used to put my penis in when I was misbehaving. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I just caught a whiff of the gimp mask I wore the first night she pegged me, and I'm going to need a second here, guys.

Well, you know what it is for me, right, as a lesbian? Yes. When you break up. Oh, wow. The dick's got to go. The dick's got to go. Wow. You don't use the dick on... Of course. They're constantly buying new dicks because that's nasty. Totally. But, you know, men don't have to worry. They use the same nasty-ass, dirty dick. Same little-ass dick. We'll run a little Dove soap on it. Tipping it, topping it, and people...

But, like, you go to the store. I mean, those backpack lesbians, they're putting out money. Money. My ex bought a dick that was about $500. Wow. It took two months to get. But here's the thing. No, I don't want to hear a sob story. No, no, no. Because I have my talking points on this issue as well. But go ahead and finish. I was like, yo, I feel like.

You should be able to use that on somebody. That's a lot of money. You should be able to do like a new color. Like put like a painted with some non-toxic paint. Oh, there should be dick covers. Dick covers. Like Fortnite skins. You should be able to have dildo skins. That's a genius idea. Shark tank! Do you hear a shark tank? Come on, Mark. That's so good.

I love that. Yeah. I think that's a great idea. But here's the thing. Listen, it costs a lot of money. Here's the nice thing. Never have to worry about getting hard. You get to buy a huge penis if you want. Me, on the other hand, sure, I don't have to spend a new 500 bucks every time I fucking you, girl. But I got a deal with the penis nature gave me. And it ain't the best. You're right. So there's trade-offs, you know? I'm sorry. That's okay.

Thank you for reaching across the aisle. Just to touch you to let you know. I understand. I break down. I start fucking crying. Thank you. Yeah, you're right. The strap-on should disappear like Star Wars when Obi-Wan Kenobi is struck down. No. Like a forced ghost. Once you break up, it just disintegrates into the wind. No.

Or with these covers, you know how when you're on the toilet, you know how the toilet seats when they have that new plastic, when the new butt sits down? Yes. That's what they need. You need that, absolutely. I think so. I think that's smart. And then listen, you're also gaining...

It's not much and maybe a millimeter of extra girth. But over time you fuck enough women. That's another way to make your dick bigger. And then when you're done, when you're retired from getting pussy, you cut it like a tree and you count the rings every time you got pussy. This is a great idea. You're sick. I hope you use that someday. That's good. You make you listen. The content is here, babe.

And I'll take it with you. I asked you to do this somewhere else. Okay, so there you go. Look, pal, it really comes down to you. There's no problem in using it on somebody else, but it sounds like you want to give this away. Give this to one of your freaky friends. It's just a leash and a collar, though. Like, it's not even...

No, no, it's not like a cock ring. He picked it out just for her, though. Or, you know. Maybe your favorite color. Like the thing that you, like what's that? The stuff that an anal thing. Anal plug. Butt plug. Butt plug or something like that. I feel like it's the fact that you're like, there's no name on it.

He picked it out for her, though, you know? It's a gift for her. She might have really... Don't be thinking about gifts too much. Well, yeah, I mean, this... Yeah, I don't know. I mean, look, I just... I get it. I know what he's talking about. He's just raw from the breakup is really what it comes down to. Yeah, that's what it's about. And it reminds him of her. And the last thing he wants to do is... He's, you know, he's putting on his Saw...

voice and being like, you like that, you fucking bitch, while he's fucking some girl in all leather. And then he catches a glimpse of the fucking pink collar, furry collar, and it reminds him of his ex and he starts crying. No one wants a dom going soft because he's remembering his ex-girlfriend. That's kind of what I'm saying. So I say, give it away. Buying you one. Don't be a broke bitch. Give it away.

burn it do whatever you need to do and just think of it as like that's part of the cost of doing business of a breakup don't give it to a friend cause then they'll randomly like you'll be like

You using it? Yeah. You got it? Yeah, that's true. Can I be there? Yeah, yeah, exactly. You don't want to keep that. You don't want to think of it in a sexual context at all. And there's no real, like, goodwill for sex toys. You don't want that. There's no goodwill for sex toys. You do not want a shot. There's certain things you don't want secondhand. We don't want it. Or second ass, for that matter. All right, Eldis. Hi. So I was raised very Christian and sexually repressed. Like, think...

um brian de palmas kerry oh nice and so uh growing up i had that definitely had an effect on my ability to have relationships and a sex life i've mostly stuck with relationships with women because men are too demanding but i am now 26 years old and i really want to get down oh she wants to get but i don't want a relationship so what i want to dive on is how do i approach a man who is trustworthy

and understanding that it might take me time, but I basically just want to fuck him. And I don't need anything else. I feel like men might be open to that, but at the same time, the trust factor is really important for me because it's always been hard for me to let down barriers and relax with somebody and be myself, especially sexually. Thank you very much for any advice.

Interesting. So she's basically wants a friend with benefits, essentially. Yeah, yeah. Um...

Yeah, I don't know. What's your advice for somebody searching for something like that, Sydney? With a man, specifically. You can't figure it out with a lesbian. We've already covered that. But what about... If you want that with a man, you just have to not want men. They will come. They will come when you don't want them. And... This girl's kind of like the bizarro version of you. Yes. And then I think

To be honest, if you are honest with him, it could be done. Absolutely. Because I think it's actually better to be a straight shooter when it's about the dick. Sure. Because then they're going to do you like you want to get done. The problem is that you have to remember...

You wanted this. So when they start acting like they acting like, oh, this is just dick. You can't be getting all of the feelings. No, no, no, no, no. Well, it cuts both ways, though, to be fair, because I think plenty. This is a very hard thing to pull off because.

It might be her, but it also might be the guy catching feelings, right? Like, very rare, like, if she's hot and she lets him fuck whatever, and it's like, yeah, he can think, he's like, yeah, this is awesome. And I am literally speaking from experience here, where plenty of, you know, I've, like, had casual, like, you know, basically friends with benefits where it's like, and most of the time,

Great. We know what it is. I don't give a fuck. But then like every once in a while, you're like, whoa, I actually, you know, it stops. You're like, wait, I liked her. You? It's happened to me. Really? A couple times. Well, I mean, one time that I can really think of that kind of fucked me up. There's feelings in that, buddy. Feelings. Deep. Very deep. He's got feelings. It can happen is all I'm saying. But I...

I also, it is nice. I agree with you where it's just like, yeah, if a hot girl was like, hey, would you be interested in hanging out every once in a while and fucking like once, you know, a couple times a month? And I'd be like, yes, that would be awesome. You know, it really is that simple. It is. Which is kind of sad that it's that easy. But yeah, it really is that easy. You could be so honest. There is less games...

If you don't have no emotions involved. But when you are like once like a relationship. Now that's when we really got to put the cards on the table and we got to shift shit around and you got to really figure out how you going to

trap this guy. But if it's just sex, yeah. It's going to be so simple. And she says, but I don't want a relationship. And I wonder what that's about. Maybe you'll figure it out. Maybe for right now. She doesn't want a relationship because she just wants the dick. But she wants to be with women. She's been with women. That's the other thing. There's a couple things here that's a little strange. Yeah. Well, she's 26. Men are too demanding. She's 26. It's an interesting thing. It's an interesting thesis.

I don't know that that's... Like, your response to that was like, women are also demanding. Women are also demanding. Like, it sounds like maybe she's having, like, cute little early 20s friends who go down on each other kind of relationships. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you don't know what you really want until it's like, there's nothing but lights everywhere and you're seeing it, like, raw. You know, like...

I remember when I used to make out with girls at the club, I'm like, the lights. It's so dark. It feels so weird. But I knew that I really liked women when the blinds are open, the fucking sun is hitting your... No ambiance to carry over. No ambiance, yeah. It's all you generating that. I'm looking down the barrel of a coochie. And it...

It's kind of damn. It's not glistening. You're like, oh, this is what I like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when I knew. I was like in the. All laid bare. Yeah. Before you. Yes. And my heart is like. Fluttering. I feel it. Looking into a pussy like it's a kaleidoscope. One eye closed.

Bro. Having heart palpitations. Oh, my God. So, look, yeah, she's 26. You're right. She's figuring her shit out, basically. But if this is what you're looking for, it's a pretty easy thing. It is. Like, literally, and if you want to feel safe or whatever, maybe just pick a friend. Like, you know, pick a friend or something or somebody you feel comfortable with.

You know, they pick a complete stranger. Go on a dating site. If you do a friend, you're going to get feelings for your friend. That's a good point. You're going to get feelings for your friend because you already know them. You're going to get mad comfortable. You ever been with somebody after they nut and you order some food and you watch a movie and you're like, oh shit, you're the one. And it's like you're not the one. You're just mad comfortable. Nothing feels better. Empty nuts. Wings on the way. Oh, wait a minute.

There's a little pint of Ben and Jerry's. I love Winkler. Extra blue cheese, bitch. Yeah, yeah. Prime hard. Yeah. It's all on me. Damn, Stobby, how dare you? I know, it is great. It's the best. So I get that. I mean, but my only, my point about the friend here, though, is I just also want to caution our friend here. The,

These never really end well. No. This is a thing that has a definite shelf life. Someone will catch feelings or both of you will just kind of fade away. Yeah, so that's why you get on an app.

You do the acting. You do the beep, bop, bop. You do it like three times. And then you're like, all right, I think I did what I needed. I hope you get everything that you need in three rounds. Yeah. Now, you could get the three rounds in one night or you could space out the rounds. Sure. But three rounds. Three in one night. What are we talking about? Let's not get crazy. Let's not set unrealistic standards here. You can't do rounds? Three is, you know, the third one's real crazy.

It's like the little engine that could by the third round. It's like, we'll get there, but it'll be like, I'll be huffing and puffing the whole way. Well, I thought you'd be huffing. I can get one off. I can get one off, no huffs and puffs. You know what? You have a three-floor walk-up, so actually you do have endurance. My bad. No, it is so pathetic. Like, the times I've been fucking recently afterwards, I'm just like...

Just fucking. It takes a lot. It's a lot. Honestly, we have to be more nicer to each other. It's like a lot of us is not working out a lot. We running after trains and shit. Running after our Ubers. And that's the only cardio or exercise we're getting. So sex is a lot. Well, I just had COVID. So I'm already. I'm good. Don't worry. It's been a week. When did you have COVID?

When was it? Two weeks ago? Three weeks ago? What was it? Two weeks ago. You're still doing this? Yo, COVID, you fucking whack, man. It sucked. It was embarrassing. We've had enough. You did what you needed to do. You wiped out the people that you needed to wipe out. A lot of cool restaurants closed. We want to move on. We want to stop. New York will never be the same. But yeah, no. So that first one after COVID was...

Boy was I barely And there's no way to be cool Just so out of breath Not regular out of breath You're like I need a second here I don't know but if she signed up with you She'd know what it is That is true She'd know what it is No one's shocked when I'm out of breath If you're not huffing and puffing she's like

What did we just do here? Did we play patty cake with some pale? That is true. If you fuck a fat guy and he's not out of breath, you know, it wasn't a good time. Would you call yourself fat or out of shape? Now you're being nice? Hour and a half into the pot, you're like, wow, would you even consider yourself fat? I remember the couple ones from earlier. Yeah.

Whoa. Whoa, brother. Calm it down. Well, now she's gaslighting me, Elvis. But yeah, it's, you know, you're just going to have to

Yeah, go on a couple. If you want to be patient, whatever, that's fine. And then you find someone and you kind of... We don't know where she lives, but I just want to say it don't matter what state or where you at. Dating is bad right now. It's bad. Fully bad. People are coming out. They don't know what they want. They don't know what they're bringing to the table. All they know is that they want to be out. And they are running away from so many things. So they come into your date and they...

shaky eye and then you're like oh I think I'll have sex with this person who's sweating profusely and fucking just unraveling over the shrimp tempura but I don't know I don't know maybe it's better to be like yo just come over yeah

All the lights are going to be off, just so you know. Maybe one light. I might have an incense or half a candle. Yes. Bring the shit, get whatever you need, and pound it out, and you're leaving. Well, yeah. I mean, honestly, I have had, you're basically describing most of my dating in the last, like, just because I've been fucking gone. But it's like, you know, someone comes over, we show them a nice time, obviously. What's a nice time?

I think we had this exact conversation on Stabby Solve Your Problems three years ago. But, you know, maybe grill up a little something. Maybe make a cocktail movie. You know, I got the projector out there. It's a nice experience. I would love to be a fly. I'd love to be a roach on the wall. Watching you put together a day.

date night or a gathering. I love to see the craft singles you put on top of a wrist. How dare you? We're doing better than craft singles. It's all good stuff. I love to see you get a little Oscar Myers and build your own. Come on, bitch. It's prosciutto. Imported, you fucking bitch. Accusing me of getting lunch, putting out Lunchables. The charcuterie.

You got them pig in the blanket. All right, Trader Joe's. Now you're getting warm. Now you're getting warm.

stop. It can't be this fun. It just can't be. There's no way. It's not right. It literally is not right. Come on. We're on fire. Hit us with another one. Hey, Soph. I got a friend that...

I don't know how else to say it. He's just a fat piece of shit. Okay. But... He could have said it a lot of other ways. He still wants to bang tens, like nines. Is this you calling about me with a voice disguised? But he's not getting, like, nines all the time. But he's not getting the idea that...

You know, maybe he has to go through a few fives and sixes before he gets the confidence for a nine or a ten. I don't know how to tell him, but he has to lower his standards a little bit or lose some weight before he gets into fucking, you know...

And puss. So anything you can tell me or tell my friend, that'd be great. Thanks. Love you, buddy. Bye. Can I start off? Please. Sir, you can't even deliver...

a fucking note and here you are dragging your friend for being a fat piece of shit who wants nines and tens the nerve the nerve you're a bad friend yes to hey as a person who know nines and tens

They probably will fuck him. Absolutely. So what do you mean? Like, oh, he's just... His standards are just too high. He knows as a man the chances of him getting a 9 or 10 while she's down bad at some fucking...

You know, McCoy's bar. Yep. Yep. Blastered on picklebacks. Mm-hmm. The chances are pretty damn high. Absolutely. Is this a good time? Yes. What don't we know about your friend? Yeah. You need to explain why is he a fat piece of shit. Is he a fat piece of shit because he's fat? Well, then you're fat phobic. Thank you. That's what you are. Go off. Because...

Your big friend is living his big ass life. And he's like, yeah, give me the tens. Yeah, why not? Shoot for the moon. And it's not for you to tell him he can't get the nines. He gonna know when the phone is dry, when the bitches are ghosting him, they're not showing up. When they get to the restaurant and they see that he's taking up two seats.

They don't walk away. When the booth is pushed all the way to the end, she can barely eat by. Her tits are hanging. Her tits are on the table. He's taking it up. Yeah. He'll know. He'll know. So who the hell are you? If anything, you're his friend. You're supposed to gas that motherfucker up. Gas Mark's fat ass up and be like, yeah, these hoes are dumb. They are. They will be there. You're king. You're king.

You short king. Yes, you can't see your dick. That's good. They love you. They're going to love you. You're perfect. That's what your job is. Yes. I can't stand a fucking undercover hater ass friend. That's exactly right. I can't stand it. It sucks. Because what is it to you? Right.

Are you mad? You're mad that he believes in himself? Probably. Your undercover hater is absolutely correct about this. That's the vibe of this entire call. Because he didn't say he wants to bang nines and tens and it's been years and he hasn't gotten pussy. He's just said, this guy wants to do this

How am I going to tell him he can't? Have you even tried... Like you said, have you ever even tried to help him? Yeah. You're supposed to be his fucking friend. Yeah. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. And then he fucking goes back to the drawing board. But if he's just a fat... Let me just... Like...

I am proof positive a fat guy can fuck hot girls. Like, that's the other thing. And by the way, yeah, I'm successful and shit now, but I was a fat guy getting pussy in Baltimore. When you were, I was, I saw it. When I first got to New York. Yeah, sure. With my own fucking working eyes. Yeah. And I went to the eye doctor and be like, I'm not sure I'm seeing what I'm seeing. I sent Cindy the fucking optometrist. Yeah, I said, what the hell is going on? I was broke getting pussy, no tooth. Shit.

She saw it. I saw it and it was alarming. And then that made me be like, I have no faith in these bitches. Yeah, of course he's going to believe in himself and he's going to follow through and that's fine. But the problem is this is what it could be. Right.

Sometimes it's one of those friends, it's like, I need my group to aesthetically be the look. Right. And so you're here with your gut hanging out. You don't know how to dress. Yeah. But you're feeling good about yourself. I'm not talking about you. Sure, sure, sure. And you're like, you're looking bad. You're not good for the room. You're not good for the table. Yes, yes.

You might be getting nines and tens, but it's affecting my nines and tens. You're mucking my vibes up. Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure. Or the type of nines and tens I want you, I don't want those type of girls. So maybe he's more like, you're not really making this a look for what I'm trying to do. Yeah. And that means this person might not be your friend like that. You don't care about them. Right.

Your friend is your friend. Hey, sometimes your friends don't dress right or they got a smell or their shoes are linked over. You're inviting them to the party. Right. You don't care. Right, right. Hey, man, you're going to let people know. You might say something. You might say, hey, my friend, his shoes is linked over. Don't say nothing. He's going through a tough time right now. He's been going through a tough time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's missing a tooth. So what?

You can even make a joke. Hypothetically, yeah. You can make a joke. He'll laugh at it. Absolutely. Well, here's the thing. There's a lot to unpack here where it's like,

What kind of guy is he, right? Because like you said earlier, if it's just the fact that he's fat, then yeah, this is not... You are being fatphobic. But if he is, he's overweight, he is depressed, he doesn't dress... He's got a lot of stuff that he could fix. That's a different thing. But dude, every group... First of all, the classic...

a fat guy in the crew is one of the best guys you can have in the crew. He's so fun. He's a fun guy. And again, there is the archetype of, is he that guy? Is he a fat guy that dresses well, believes in himself, all this stuff? Now, if you're calling in, because he said before he gets the confidence of a nine or a ten, and he's like, I don't know how to tell you, he's worried about his friend's confidence. Is he worried about his

It's possible, right? Like he might just have very bad messaging here, but... He can barely speak, so... Exactly. So we've covered the like, hey man, if this guy has his shit figured out and he doesn't lack for confidence, he's got the rest of his shit together, he's got, you know, he dresses okay, he's fun to be around, he's a fun guy, he can get... There's a path to him getting nines and tens, then you are a hater and you need to fix your shit, right? You're the problem. Now...

He said he's a fat piece of shit. Right. So what we're having a problem with, we need to get down to the bottom of... Yes. Besides the fat part, he's a piece of shit. What's the piece of shit part? Why is he... Is he hitting women? Is he cheating on them? Is he giving them gonorrhea? Is he bad to be around? What is making... He's gotta be...

Either he's bad to be around, but you would have said that. You would have said he's always around. He don't bring nothing to the table. You would have said that. You didn't say that. So what it feels like is that he's...

He is cool. People like him. And his fat ass wants nines and tens. Yes. And it's bothering you. And you're mad because you fuck sixes or whatever. That is kind of the vibe I'm getting too. You're boiling. Your edges are gone. There is. Yes. You're fucking upset. You're like, how dare Avery just slay. How dare this guy who I, in my head, value less than me, want things more than I think I deserve. Yes, perfect.

That's kind of what this feels like, right? So I would say if we're spot on there, you need to fix your heart. You're a fucking hater. It's you. Now, if we happen to be wrong, and I don't think we are. Pardon. If we happen to be wrong. We could be. We could absolutely not have hit the nail on the head. Exactly. So then if we happen to be wrong, then let's go back to what we said earlier, a scenario we had earlier where it's like,

If he's overweight and he has a lot of shit wrong with him that he could fix, like, you know, could dress a little better, is a little depressed, whatever. Then it's like, it's the advice I would give everyone, which is like, yes, confidence is super key. And I don't know that I would go with fuck uglier women first. I would go with fix his confidence. Yeah, we would not say that. I would say like, I would say like, yeah, get...

And, you know, I don't even say this is somebody is that he has to lose weight, but it's like get him in the gym because he feels better when you work out a little bit. You start feeling a little better. Right. You get a little stronger. Let's take a walk. When I was on the when I was on tour this whole time, I was I worked out all the time just because it made me feel better. I knew I wasn't going to be able to stay as healthy as I wanted to. But I was like, I'm still hitting the gym because the endorphins I also like was getting stronger, even though I was getting fat. It was like just a little something. Right. Right.

And then, yeah, fixes, you know, get a nice outfit, get him a nice pussy-getting shirt. You know what I mean? Fat guys, the classics. It's tracksuit season, all right? If you're too excelling up, get you. ASOS got some cute little sweater situations. They do, they do, yeah. And that good pattern. Be cozy. Fall is a great time to be a fat guy. It is. You know what I mean? You layer it up. Some bitches might not have heat in their apartment. And we don't. You know what I mean? As an anemic girly, we ain't got it.

We got tons of comforters. Get him a cutie. No heat. You know how much pussy I got in a cardigan in the fall? Quite a bit. A little cardigan cutie. Get him a couple outfits. Help him. Let him start doing stuff to believe in himself. And that's his path. And also for you, look inward. If we diagnosed you accurately, you got to get the hate out of your heart. And maybe you need to start believing in yourself as much as your tubby friend does.

Heard you, King. Yes, thank you. Fuck your shit. Felt good to get that off. Yeah. Let's do a couple more elders. We don't want to keep our friend here forever, even though we could do them forever. This is so fun. I mean, literally, we just have the best of times. And before, I mean, we should all say, if you want anything to plug, people to follow you anywhere, all that kind of good stuff. Yeah, you heard Stavi, you know, the algo just doesn't do me right at times. Fucked up. Considering how, like, just...

pure, Colombian, uncut comedy is going on here. But yeah, just follow me, follow me, and tell the host to follow me too, for sure. What is it, Just Sid? Just Sid, BW on Instagram, J-U-S-T-S-Y-D, BW. And then I have TikTok, but like, I don't know how to like master this TikTok thing. It's just like, they're like, hire someone to do it. And I'm like, oh,

That's not how I do my stuff. It's a lot of... I mean, luckily, thank God that just putting fucking crowd work clips is all I do because I could never actually like... What's up? You know what I mean? Do that kind of shit. Do dances. But actually, you are good at it. I'm okay at it, but it's a lot of work. I've seen you do it. You're so great. It is a lot of work. It's a lot of work. I would rather just... A lot of moving around, huh? I'd rather just stand... No, that's fine. No.

Wow. Changing positions, huh? It's not that much moving around, all things considered. Certainly it's an amount I can handle. But yeah, it's just fucking boring and too much to do. I'm tired of learning new things. That's really what it comes down to. Done. It's just when you're like, ooh, we

get in there. We got it. I'm good at this. I've by accident become good at podcast. I'm good at stand up just by accident. I've been podcasting for almost 10 years now. You're doing great. But I don't want I don't need to learn you. So whatever the next thing is, can you imagine that? Because there's going to be something new and

I won't be here. I'll be in another... Hopefully you're running a nice bed and breakfast with your lesbian wife. I'll be in another universe. I will be that little bug that's on the wall watching you put your little Vienna sausages. You fry them up, cut them in half. Oh yeah. Olives in the middle. Yeah, I'm sending her little subliminal messages. Get ready for a night of Vienna sausage.

Play us a fucking call, Eldish. Hey, Stav. Hey, Eldish. I hope you're both having a great day. Thank you. And if you have a guest on, I hope you are similarly also having a great day. Best day. My question is, Stav, what do you recommend for daily coping mechanisms during a hard situation?

For context, I am a 29-year-old lesbian with a homophobic mom, and I no longer speak to her. That was the correct choice for my situation, but the daily reality still sucks, and I'm, of course, struggling. I do enjoy drugs. I take dabs every day, and I'm not against doing mushrooms, but I also haven't done them since 2015, so that might be a bit of a dicey choice.

What do you do when times are tough emotionally? I'm in therapy, so don't worry, but I'm still curious what you think. Thank you, and everybody stay safe and take care. Bye-bye. Tough stuff. Did you, your family homophobic?

You want to, you want to, you want to chime in? You can't have a solid gay without somebody in the back. You ain't shit. The Lord doesn't love you. You're going to burn in hell. You're going to burn in hell. You're going to burn in hell. You're going to die. You're going to die alone. It's like, actually I'm gay. I'm going to die with a whole bunch of people around me. They pull up. They will. Yeah. Um, they're all a good time. Uh, damn. How do you cope? Uh,

Well, me, I'm sober, so I think it's even harder to cope. But I will say that you have to relinquish that... Because sometimes I feel like we blame ourselves for... Even if they're not homophobic, just like if your parents are not vibing with you right or you didn't make them proud or something like that, we go to us. It's like, it's my fault, it's my fault. But I always say...

They had the power. They made a person. They decided to do this. And the person you made is not going to do everything that you want them to do. And you have to be okay with that. So now you're putting that on me? No, no, no, no, no. Right. So I released myself after I was like, hey, my mom has so many years of like shit that don't have nothing to do with me. Absolutely. How she's treating me, it's not my fault. Yes. You know? Yeah. And so...

I think that is most of the strain is not blaming yourself. So once you take that off and really move, you'll be able to not have to rely on dabs or mushrooms. I heard that everybody's micro-dosing right now. Yeah, mushrooms aren't bad. Mushrooms. Everybody's micro-dosing mushrooms. I wish I could just micro-dose Coke, but I heard it's not possible. No, no. You'll be macro-dosing very easily.

Very soon after that. Never overdosed on no cocaine, baby. I was a pro. You were on the bike.

You were sweating it out. Yeah, but you're in therapy. That's good. Do you need meds? I don't. I'm not a psychiatrist. We don't know that. But I mean, being around people who make you feel good. Listen to good podcasts. Yeah. I mean, that's the hard thing here is that like what's really difficult is that this is just the thing that is going to be brutal forever.

For most of your life. There's no way around it. This is the kind of thing that like, it's like, you know, it's like kind of a hole in who you are that you have to like, that things will grow around it. You know what I mean? Like you'll fill it with, you'll fill it to a certain extent with love from other people, with other things, other things you're, but like having to cut a parent off, a child should never be in that position. And I think that's the other thing that's kind of helping here is like,

When you're feeling down about it, understanding that you're feeling right. You know what I mean? Like you're not in the... Not only don't blame yourself for this, but also know that like being sad is part of it, right? But...

A, it gets easier, right? The longer you've made your life away from this person, the longer you understand they're not good for you, whatever. Your life is going to be better when you're not dealing with that toxicity and trying to make them feel okay with the decision you've made for your life. Yes, absolutely.

Absolutely. That will get, like, over time, that just will get better. And just understanding that, like, that's all this is. This is like a, it's like the time heals all wounds thing. This is a big wound, right? Having a parent that does not support you is fucking brutal. It's, like, fundamental to our, like, our psychology. And it's like, and, and,

So that's going to be tough. The good news is a lot of people deal with this, right? There are people who understand your situation and there's people you can find in your life that can take parts of that relationship, right? No one is ever going to replace a good biological parent like a lot of us that are fucked up.

are going to be, you're going to be missing that a little bit, but, you know, there's definitely mentors, there's people in your life that you find as mentors, there's just friends that fill in, you know, fill in those gaps here and there. You know, I don't know if I would take dabs every day, I was somebody, I was with you, right? I don't want to judge because, you know,

I've had a similar situation. Dab is just smoking weed? It's just like very strong. Strongness. Yeah, yeah. Like hash. Basically, it's like hash wax, basically. I don't know what that is. Yeah, yeah. Just very, very strong. No, no, no. Hash is just like super... It's like weed concentrate, basically. And it's tough because I don't want to judge you either because I'm like, well, that's not good for you. But then I think about...

I was in a similar situation probably at this point, what, five, six years ago? And that does, now that I think about it, that does coincide with the couple years of our lives where we were high as shit every day and eating up to two pints of ice cream a day.

It was fucked up in here. You were having an issue with your parents? Yeah, I had an issue with my dad. And so it was just like... And when I was fresh off that... Did y'all fix it? We're kind of... We're in a weird way getting there. Okay, that's good. There's been some progress. You have to be... Oh, that's another thing. You have to be open to whatever solutions there is unless...

They're just, they're not working with you. And that's the thing. It's like, I would say this is kind of like a double-edged sword because for me, you know, it was more complicated than like,

Homophobe parent in some ways it's more devastating obviously because on some level they'll never accept you but on the other level it's like well I don't even have to hold out hope that it might get fixed. You know what I mean? You're like no this person's gone. I'm not I'm never expecting anything from them and for me I did have to get to a point where I was like I just assume you know I assume we'll never fix it right? And so I'll just live my life that way and you know after a certain point

That kind of gets easy. There's definitely sad moments, but you're like, fuck it. And there's also a pride that builds up over time when you do figure your shit out without that, where you're like,

I figured it out, man. I didn't fucking do it. And then I would see my friends who didn't really like their parents have to go to these fucking bullshit Father's Days. And I'm like... I ain't got to worry about that. I'm chilling on Father's. I'm getting the fuck... I'm getting the charcuterie board out and getting my dick sucked on Father's Day. I'm not going to a barber. I'm not having to go play golf and, you know, give my dad a tie or whatever the fuck. Or just a turmoil that you have to deal with because they're just putting up with this, like...

This thing that is never ending and it's not going to get better. I mean, I... And this is crazy because I cut off my mom and it wasn't just the homophobia. It was just like she, narcissist, just super like you're going down a rabbit hole of like I'm a trauma dump, blaming, blah, blah, blah. Totally. And so we...

stop talking. Um, and then every time I would be like, okay, I'm trying to give her a chance. She'll find a way to fuck it up. She'll lie and be like, I'm, I'm terminally ill. And it's like, we're waiting on you to die. You didn't think this one through. You're not going to die. You know that when you lie like that, you're not going to die. And we've been waiting. Um, and then, um,

And then this is crazy. When I was in L.A., my mom got sick and I had to go. My brother like gave me the business. He's like, you need to go see your mother. Like, I think this is it. Like, this is for you to do. And at first I was like, this ain't got nothing to do with me. And I went to the hospital and I saw and like she didn't know how to say sorry. But like she basically kind of I like saw like.

She's sorry. Whatever. And then you let that go and she passed. And, you know, I see what my brother and my sister and my people who just like kept doing this stuff. And I'm like, I'm free from that. And I can literally be like, damn, I wish we had a better relationship. But I'm happy.

happy with the decision that I made. Yeah, absolutely. I can't have that in my life because the way I'm living, that was not going to make sense. Yeah, yeah. I was going to be constantly trying to make my mom be in my life. Yeah. And when she's already tapped out. Right, right, right. She said, you gay as fuck. Yeah. She said, you ain't no Kiki Palmer. That's what she said to me. Wow. That's what she said.

Homophobic and a hater. Just a clean hater. Yeah. And no disrespect to Kiki Palmer. She said, Kiki Palmer, that was the epitome of making it. Kiki. And I said, well, Kiki was a little gay. She's a kiss girl. So I'm a little bit. She's got a sprinkle. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's, I mean, that's really. So you're just in, if this is new, just understand that it's just going to be difficult. And then like.

I would say I hate to be this guy. I hate to be like the... Let me hear it. The guy who used to do... Who used to get fucked up every day. And I'll still do mushrooms from time to time. But it's like...

You don't have to do it now, but you should just get, you got to get off the hebs. You don't want to do them every day. I've been there. There's something nice about being in a fugue state, like only being useful like three hours a day and then retiring your brain for the rest of the day. I've been there. I get that. But I do think the goal has to be like,

It sucks because everything you've ever heard about health is true. It's just like, you feel better when you're not on drugs. You feel better when you eat well. You feel better when you exercise. Damn, stop. You talking... It sucks. It sucks that it's that simple. I see how you're getting them draws when you're talking like that. It sucks that it's that simple. Give me some provolone. Ripscrackers.

I got a baby bell for you. I got a baby bell. Oh, my God.

So yeah, you're in there, but you're doing everything you need to do. And if this is kind of like close to when it happened, the dabs and the thing is like, it's understandable and do what you need to do to kind of get through a tough time. Yeah. But know that the like your guiding light should be, I can get through this stuff without. And you can. And you definitely can. You literally can. Both of the people you're talking to right now have gone through this and have been like, have been fine. And so that's...

that's really it. I mean, it's going to be difficult. I would say do what you need to do in the short term and then slowly try and replace. I mean, for me, a lot of it was my career. I just, I really dove head first the last couple years, you know, and it's like, and the next thing I want to do is focus on my health after. Money will help. You know, yeah, money has helped. I will say that. But it's just like,

I would say find healthier things to help you cope over time. I'm not going to be a narc that's telling you to get sober right away. Oh, but also ask your friends for help. Absolutely. Get a circle of people who can be there for you and understand and some people who...

Also get the dynamic and walk you through it because you can't do it alone. You really can't do it alone. And there's people who are very close with their parents and then there's people who are kind of distant. Find that middle ground. And I will say being with people who are very close with their parents all the time is triggering. Yeah. It's really triggering. It's also embarrassing to be with. We make fun of JP all the time. JP McDade, our boy. He's on the road with me. He opens for me. He's on the podcast every month. He does a Patreon with us.

Being a guy who fucking loves his dad is so fucking lame. Being a guy who's like, my father is the man I respect the most. It's like, shut the fuck... What are you, a fucking baby? Like, there's... Like, having too good a relationship is actually so embarrassing. It's gross. It's gross, and it's like, why are you doing comedy? You're loved. You're loved.

It's kind of like, and if your jokes are not hitting, that's why. Yeah. Too much love. Luckily, JP, you know, I guess had other forms of not love. He's a great comic, but believing his father, loving his father so much. And, you know, there's an appropriate amount. So at least you're not one of those embarrassing people, too.

That's a positive. I'd rather be us than them. But yeah, good luck, pal. There's no way around it, though. And yeah, that's a great point. Have a support system. I was very lucky. I lived with Eldis. I lived with Eldis and another one of my best friends at all times in this apartment. So we had a really nice little fake family thing going on here. And I also got closer with my siblings as a result when we kind of talked our shit out about like...

hey, this is how I feel. Don't you feel like our childhood was fucked up? And that brought me, my brothers much closer together, which we had problems in when we were younger. So that's other stuff I would say. It's just look for your support system and understand it's going to be a little tough, but you're doing the right thing. I'll just want you to find a nice one.

Nice fun one for us to go out on. Yeah, fun one. Let's see what you got. That was dark. Yeah, that was heavy for both of us. Sad jam, bitch. I just came here to talk shit. Call Stobby back. I didn't come here for all this shit. Hit us, Elde.

Hey Stavi, quick question for you, probably applicable to a lot of people. I'm in dating mode now, using Hinge mainly, and I get a respectable number of matches and likes, but I find that a lot of the time I don't know what to write as a first message, so I put it off to the point that it's probably weird to message, so I just don't. I figure you don't use these apps that much as you are now, but what do you recommend as good strategies to kind of settle a conversation, come off flirty, and not be weird?

I feel like I'm fine talking to people in most contexts, but I'm too in my head about this. So any advice would be great. Thanks.

Well, I mean, right off the bat, if you're not even fucking messaging them, who gives a fuck what you say? You're batting zero. This is the old, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You could say anything and you'd have a better chance than what you're doing now. So that should be some kind of, that should make you feel good. You're already batting zero. Say anything and you have a better opportunity. I already know that you're like...

you're a pretty sane person because you're like i don't want to be weird i don't want to right because the weird people are fucking saying anything yo i would love your fucking dead pinky toe in my mouth right now what's good bitch like that's the stuff people are writing and they're pressing not they didn't forget about it you know so i think half the time is like we be our own like

Yes. And it's a high works. Yeah. You know, I saw this. That's dope. Like, I'm into that, too. You could be very basic. It's okay. Yes, you're going up against a ton of people. But it's better to be authentic than to be this way you think is cool. Right, right, right. And play these games and then get these people that you're not supposed to be talking to anyway. Yeah. I mean, at the very least, yeah, you're right. You're at the point where saying high is better than saying nothing. Elders, what was your old...

The classic Sula. Yeah, it was awesome. It got like awesome and easy for me when I just treated it like a carpet bomb thing. And I was like, I'm going to try to match with whoever I can and then like only send messages to the girls that, you know, rise above the fold. And I just started every single thing with sup, all lowercase, and the sunglasses emoji. And that's like, I think that's a good approach because it's just like, you know,

The emoji makes it like a little fun. Right. But it's not embarrassing yourself, like trying to make some specific joke. Yeah, that was my profile. And it's like, you know, if they're into it, they'll like respond to that. They're like, OK, this is normal, kind of cute, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Basic bitch shit. Let me tell you.

You have to be okay with rejection. Absolutely. It's okay. You're not going to get people writing back, people are not, and you got to be okay with that. And then sometimes they're going to respond, and you be like, what the fuck did I write to you? Because I wrote this girl, and I said, hi, with an exclamation mark, and she wrote back in all caps, what do you want? And I said, oh, dick. I don't want that. Wow.

I want a man. Because if I wrote him hi, he'd write hi back. Yeah, he'd be like, hello, beautiful. Why are you making this more complicated? Hello, princess. Yeah, why are you making this more complicated? Do I owe you money? Are you mad at me? Do you already know me? Like, what is this? Yes, yes. Now I'm starting off...

I'm on defense. Right. No, no. Totally. Those vibes are all the way fucked up. Yeah. So it's like you got to understand, hey, there's going to be, it is going to be weird. If not on your part, their part. Yeah. There's going to be people who are going to be like, nah, I'm not with it. And that's okay. Yeah, absolutely. You just got to keep going. And in fact, actually, I think a really nice thing is go into everything assuming you're going to get rejected.

And then when it doesn't happen, hey, great bonus. Go in as if Stavi was like, I didn't know these girls wanted to do a threesome. Yeah, yes, yes, yes. You're going to get a threesome. Go in, belly full of Chinese food, no belief in yourself whatsoever. But yeah, the old Sula method, the sup with the sunglasses emoji. Carpet bomb with a cute emoji. Right, right, right. The first message too is just like, you know,

That's like so early in the process before anything actually matters. Like nothing matters until you get to the actual date. Like things can fall through at any second. Even the messaging. Like don't spend a ton of effort on it. Do not spend the time on the messaging. That's information gathering logistics. Yeah, meet quick. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Hey, what's up? You free Wednesday? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That going back and forth. Three back and forth tops. You can talk yourself out of it.

I used to do that all the time. I used to like, when I would, I would over, I was an overthinker when I was fresh on the apps and I would do exactly what you said, Elders, like try and get something specific. And listen, when it works, it really works. But then like most of the time it's just like, you know, and I would, I would over talk whatever. And then when I was just like, ah, I'm going to treat this as like, yeah, like you said, until you meet it,

It's like a person in your phone. It doesn't really... You know what I mean? Like, meet in person as quickly as possible. Don't waste getting to know... Because also, the vibe can shift so... That would happen to me sometimes. People are bad via text. Yeah. They're bad. Or also, they're just...

Or what if they're different? They're online too much. So they're chronically like talking and writing what they think they're supposed to. So you don't have a real gauge of who this person is. You're like, let's meet here. It don't have to be dinner. It's just, hey, we're going to drink or tea or whatever. Get to know them. And then you'll realize most of these people are weird.

Totally. Most people are nerds. Exactly. Most people ain't got no money. It's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the first date is a pure getting to know. That's like, that should be what, like, that should be essentially...

That should be your first real conversation. And it's like, don't go into the first date thinking about too much. Just see, do I actually hit it off with this person in person? And you know how you do that? There's three things. You come to the date, like, what's the thing that made you laugh this week? Um...

Something that like an old memory that you had or like a dream or experience that was like also really funny. And then something that you're looking forward to. Okay. Because these are three positive popping things. Fun prompts. That like you'll have...

They can't say no to this. And it kind of shows what kind of person you are. And we're not dumping the trash. We're not talking about current events. We're not talking about religion and church and state. Stuff that can fuck up the vibe. Just feel the vibe out as quickly as possible. By the third date, you should find out if somebody's a Republican. But by the first date, you should not. No, certainly not.

And then if anyone is really pushy about all that shit, that's a red flag. Either way. Either way. You should be on the Uber app. You're like, you know what app I'm on? Uber, because I'm going to get up out of here. I'm about to get broke. I gotta go. You know?

So good luck to our pal here. We hope you get some matches, buddy. It's going to be good. You're going to be great. And don't overthink it. Literally. In fact, do us a favor. Try Eldest's method for 20 matches. Shit, I'm about to do it. Sup, sunglasses. I'm about to do it. And call back and let us know how it went. Truly. That got Eldest plenty of we won't look. I don't know.

I won't say what came out. I don't say what fish took that bait. You got a girl now? Oh, he's a happily married man. Oh, shit. No, he's good. He's good. It's a numbers game. Oh, that's interesting. You didn't... It wasn't sup. Yeah, it was. Sup? Sunglasses got you your wonderful wife? That's right. Wow. Look at that, folks. All these women are dumb.

So fuck you care. They don't care. All that shit they talk to their friends are sup, god damn it. So don't care. Shout out to your wife. She's amazing. She's the best. She really is. She's doing great work over there.

Oh, fuck. All right. Well, that's going to do it for us. Sid, thank you so much. This was so fun. It's great stuff. Go follow Sidney. Please. Go see her in person. Please. And yeah, definitely we got to have you back. There's so much more we need to talk about. Oh, yeah. We didn't even... This was so fun. Barely scratched the surface. But that's going to do it for us. Oh, and I should say, my special...

And so by the time this comes out, it's already announced. December 5th coming out. Fat Rascal on Netflix. Go watch it, folks. That's crazy. Very excited for it. So thank you. That's it, guys. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye.