Trixie Mattel Returns
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I'm beautiful. But if my hair goes, I'm like, that's okay. If you sit here in front of me and tell me that you think you're bald one more time. I said I might go someday. I'm not, you know, I don't have, obviously. Obviously what? You know why I always do this? I always sit down at people's shit with the bag of makeup and I go, just start. Just start. You know, I saw the clip because I was off social media for three months, but I did see the clip of you telling, I think, Mateo Lane that I'm the only one who's asked for the money. Yeah.

By the way, that doesn't speak weird to me. No, you are right. Everybody else needs to know what their fucking money's doing. They need to get about their business. And that's why I use rocket money. No! I do use rocket money. Do you? The thing is, something you need to know about me is I am that bitch who sells out and promotes shit, but I use the shit. Yeah. I cooked breakfast this morning. I made gorgeous eggs and potatoes, you know, a fresh rosemary from the garden. Do you know why I know how to do that?

Green Chef. No. I'm dead serious. You're using Green Chef? No, I did Green Chef for so long that now I just know how to cook. Yeah. Fresh rosemary from the garden. Well, I have the garden. You have the garden where? In the pent yard. In the yard? In the pent yard. I'm homesteading in Los Angeles. You're gardening? You're gardening in LA? I came to Los Angeles to forage. Baby. I use Darling Daisy. Get it at TrixieCosmetics.com. You can't.

But look at the makeup bag. This is not, that's pathetic. Isn't that horrible? That's pathetic. Isn't that horrible? I hate that you have that in here. I don't think I see, you know, Norvina, James Charles. I don't think I see the other makeup moguls being like. A fucking hefty Ziploc freezer bag. Hey. How many times have you used that? Well, this just got recycled. This used to be a bag for face wash and stuff, and now it's this. Look, it has holes in it. I can see it, hon. Oh, it smells.

It's not very glam at all. You got makeup on my couch? Girl, no. Your couch. This is Muna's couch. I've seen them here, okay? I've been here. They rent it from me. Yes. Is this okay? You look gorgeous. I just want to wear my... I love this. This is not my product, but I got this RuPaul shirt from her Pride collection, and I think it's so fucking cute. Don't you think? Yes. Yes, it's very cute. She's God. RuPaul? She's God. You know I've never met her. Well...

Have you ever worked with her? No. Okay. Well, you will. I'm trying to, Rue. She's only somewhere and I just, I am obsessed with her. I'm not like the other drag race queens where I think she's my best friend. I know I don't really know her. Right. And so I worship from afar. I'm obsessed with her. They, they, well, she's got that, um, what is that? The world of wonder thing. They were doing comedy specials for a second. Do you ever see those? No. Well, the wonder did like some 15 minute, 30 minute comedy specials or something.

No, the only thing I've watched on the WOW Network, I definitely still have it. I obviously would watch Ohm when it came out. And then I watched Fashion Photo Review sometimes. What's that? The Rajan Raven Tootin' Boot. You don't know about that? Pardon? Pardon?

Sometimes when you talk to me, girl, I'm like, you say, you put words in an order that I'm like, what the fuck are we talking about? Listen, we're in Silver Lake. We're not in Egypt. I know you know what I'm talking about. The Raja Rana on Tootin' Boot? No, Rajan Raven, the drag queens. They have a show called Fashion Photo Review where they review the looks on the runway of RuPaul's Drag Race and they decide whether they toot the look or boot the look. Okay. And?

That's cute. Just like a lot of people who are in the know know what it is. No, I'm certain. I know that I'm not in the know. I know that I'm the one on the outs here. That's tough. It is tough for me. Where the hell have you been? Girl, I've just been on break. Let me tell you, it's been horny. Horny? Very horny. I started first week of July, and my last little gigs, and then I just dipped and didn't really do anything.

Any drag or spend any time in Los Angeles for three months. I spent completely off social media, off emails. Once a week, I had a 30 minute zoom with managers to say yes, no, yes, no, yes, no. And that's it. I watched CNN, played my guitar, did watercolor, went for walks, rode my bike, went to Planet Fitness.

Didn't I did I was I was Amish. I think Amish people go to Planet Fitness Amish people are not they're not in Planet Fitness, baby You know, I've been watching a lot of the news. Why? Well, because I can't believe you went on a break and watch the news the whole time Well every day I would make my little breakfast and I watched the news because when your phone you're not on socials It's just people you barely care about saying. How are you? Mm-hmm

Sounds horrible. Yeah. But no, like when I first went on the break, it's like everyone I had sex with once was like, babe, what's up? Girl. I didn't check in. I didn't want to know. I was worried about it. We had sex twice. Yeah, exactly correct. No, essay warning. We didn't have sex. We did not. We did not have sex. I keep trying. Yeah. I'm hitting you up. You're sending me pictures of you on hiatus holding a gun and shit. Yeah.

Everything I heard from you during your hiatus was deeply concerning. Well, I spent a lot of my break in the South, and we had BB guns. Not real guns, BB guns. Sit in the backyard, shoot a Diet Coke can, see what happens. Yeah, at one point you called me a couple weeks ago, and you said, there's a sound you made once in a video that I love. Can you make it for me really quick? Well, can I tell you what that was? Sure. My friend Becca was visiting me. Becca loves you. She listens to your pod every week, and she was thrilled when I was on this the last time, and she said she loved you.

your Twitter during the COVID. And then she said that you, you said something about share or so. I don't know what you did. You made some sound that she loved. And I thought, what if I just fuck her up? I said, Oh, let's hear it. And I called you and I thought she was driving and she was like, and then I hung up and I talked to him on the phone. Cause she loves you. Her name is Becca. You haven't said hi.

To her. Becca, hey, girl. Well, I'm learning in this moment that you used me like a wind-up toy for your friend's enjoyment. Here I think we're checking in. What do you think it's like to be a drag queen? Every time someone's birthday happens, someone's like, I know you're not on Cameo, but if I'm not on Cameo, do you think it means that I want to make free videos? Ha ha ha ha!

Cameo needs to be shut down. Girl. We need to shut Cameo down. Cameo is my like match.com boyfriend who won't quit. Every two weeks, they get an email from them being like, hey. Yes. The thing is, I like Cameo. I've received them from Amanda Lepore and I loved it. I've received them and when you get them, it's thrilling. If you love the person, it's awesome. Yeah. It's awesome. I got one from Tammy Slayton from Thousand Pound Sisters. Oh.

Oh. Yeah. I didn't know she was on there. Big gasp over the room over here. They were very thrilled about that. Yeah. And she, I will say I loved it. I loved getting it. She was a little. Fat. No. Did she lose the weight before the video? What did she do? It's still called a thousand pound sister. So what do you think? Okay. So she's still big. I thought one of them got. You think every season they change the name, they weigh them again and change the name? No.

They're going to have to. Didn't one of them lose a bunch of weight? Well, they're both on weight loss journeys. One of them has lost a lot of weight now. She's removed the trachea and the tracheotomy. She's removed the trach tube, Tammy. And she now has a girlfriend.

A lesbian? Yeah. Oh, I love lesbians. Listen, I love those girls. That show is great. I think, yeah, I think the level of vulnerability to talk about that level body stuff and family dynamic stuff and put it on TV takes a lot of bravery. Sure. And you know, in TV after five seasons, usually you get to renegotiate. You're like, you know, if you're on Friends, you get like a percent raise every year. Yeah. You can't renegotiate.

And they just started season six. And I literally, during my break would go to bed and be like, dear God, can we please make sure Tammy and Amy renegotiate and put the knife in TLC and twist? Cause I want those bitches moving. I want those bitches in a palace. I want them to do well.

I just think, honestly, in some ways you watch the show because it's like, wow, this is wild, you know? But in some ways it's like, no, that's fucking cool. I mean, look, they've lost weight. They put their family dynamics on TV. One of them lost a partner. Which one's the blue hair? One of them's boyfriend died. Okay. Which one's blue hair?

Well, that's Amy. Amy Slayton. Yep. And I got my cameo from Tammy and it was thrilling. She said, she said, I heard you're going on break. It's good to take time to take care of yourself. Um, and you know, I got to tell this, I got to tell this to Katya too. You work every day of your life in drag and people are like, here she goes again, Miss Thing. If you take time off,

oh my god you are princess Diana you are the people the BBC put out an article that was like struggling drag race star takes a step back laughing

But the picture was like me in full drag at Pride DJing looking like really... And I was like, I could have given you a more downtrodden photo. Call me. Yeah, call me. Call me. I have so many pictures of me on the phone of me in like just a wig cap. Which, by the way, why is a bald person wearing a wig cap? Right, yeah. But I'm also wearing fake boobs. Right. So what are we doing? Yeah. If I can pretend to have titties, can I pretend to have hair? I think so. I would like to send them some of the pictures you sent me. I would like to do that. Okay.

What I like is when the drag queens get the units installed, the glue-on male wigs, and then they put a wig cap on and put on the drag wig. Hold on. What happens? It's a wigiotomy. It's like, so they get the men's unit. Yeah, okay. Men's unit. Now, what is that? So, okay, so people who don't have your gorgeous hair. By the way. Beautiful hair. By the way. Can I just touch a little bit of it? By the way. Come on now.

so thick and glossy beautiful I've told you explicitly not to flirt with me on this show and you keep going back into flirting territory knock it off I'm sorry so the drag queens either they go to Turkey okay and they get

Oh, they're getting transplants. They get the full transplant or they go down to the clinic and they grow out the side hair. They shave the top and they get the toupee custom made and glued on. Oh. Which is fine. Does that withstand like water sports and wind and stuff? Yeah. They say you can shower in it and everything. Whoa. Okay. But you have to get it reinstalled every few weeks because obviously some hair does grow back under the piece. Every few weeks even? You got to go in and get it redone. Oh God.

But you gotta get haircuts too. I know, but just, I think when there's glue involved, I think I would just go, I'll probably go bald someday and I think I'll just go. How old are you? I am turning 30 in 100 days. I don't think you're gonna go bald. It's pushing back a little bit on the sides. I can see it for me. Is that hard for you? No.

No, because you know why? Because growing up fat, I was never attached to the idea of being traditionally handsome anyway. So I learned a lot of other things about myself. And now if I like my hair, I think I'm beautiful. But if my hair goes, I'm like, that's okay. If you sit here in front of me and tell me that you think you're bald one more fucking time. I said I might go someday. I'm not, you know, I don't have, obviously. Obviously what? What?

When I went on break, I was 167 pounds, my depression weight. I've never been so thin and unhappy in my life. And then now I'm back up to almost 190. You look great. And everyone's like, you look happy. You look healthy. Fina Barbatal, she's lost a lot of weight. So now she's a toxic skinny person. It's amazing when somebody really big gets small. They're like, everyone here is really big. She zipped him in the corset. She goes, when's the last time you wore this?

Oh, no. Is that horrible? You look happy and healthy. Coded. That's coded. Thank you. Thank you. You're looking happy. You look... Jolly. Healthy. You look jolly. Your cheeks look bull. You're looking rosy. Yeah. I don't know. But here we are, you know. And you're back now. You're back from the break. Yeah, it's been awful. I filmed a lot. Well, I filmed the last...

Well, I got in drag for real and filmed it. I was filming with Netflix Monday and Tuesday for Kachi and I's show I like to watch. We filmed yesterday and the day before. And I forgot about getting in drag for, you know, getting up at 7 to get in drag and still being in drag at 4 or 5 p.m. Jesus. I forgot how. I was like. And at the top of the days, you know, we sit on couches like this and we're all like, we're two queens who like to watch. Let's watch the show. And by the end, the corset, I'm like. Oh.

The corset, the skeleton locks. Uh-huh. You know, the stiffening. Right. Stiff woman syndrome. Yeah, the right arm is all... Oh, all the signs of a heart attack are starting. Really? The arm is numb from the corset. The speech is slurring. You're on your sixth Red Bull. Uh-huh. You're squinting under your one good eye trying to watch an Netflix program. Get rid of the Red Bull. Don't drink that stuff.

Who can't track me, boo? Me, right now, presently. But why not? I'm telling you to stop. It's bad. Trixie. People drink alcohol. And they probably shouldn't, right? Now, what about the vodka Red Bull? That's the death wish, right? Vodka Red Bull is a death wish, yes. When you do alcohol, what do you do? I drink like once a year.

And I really go at it. Once a year, you'll see me on an Instagram story and go, it's the night. Capital T, capital N. And I will go, I'll go deep on Jack and Coke's and vodka crayons. Like I'm 20 years old. You mix them? Yeah, I'll go back and forth. That's what you don't want to do. Jack and Coke, vodka crayon. You want to pick one thing and do that thing. You know what? Two years ago, I got so drunk off Jack and Coke's and vodka crayons at 4,100 bar, worst bar in America.

That I walked down this street in Silver Lake and fell into a bush and stayed there for a little while. I had to stay there for a little while. Oh my God. I fell into a bush and I said, I'm going to be here for a minute. And I stayed in the bush and I called some friends. They said, where are you? I said, bush. I'm in the bush on the street. And I stayed there for a bit. Well, you know, you're a tall person. Right. If you're blackout drunk, you're going to need to call help. I did. Right? I did. Yeah. Someone came and got me. Who?

I think it was my friend Sam. Made up? Yeah. Made up? Yeah, of course. You slept all night? Yeah, I slept in the bush. Well, I quit drinking for like two years and I started again during the break. I do like it. Okay. But you do get hung over and that's the bummer. Yeah, it's not worth it to me. That's the hard thing. That's the hard thing. It's not worth it. What were you drinking during the break?

Um, sometimes I do wine. I got, well, it's summer. I get into the margaritas, the mojitos, you know, I asked my rheumatologist, can I drink alcohol? I know. And they said, you can have two glasses a day, two, two drinks a day. And I said, well, I'm gay and I'm on vacation. And she was like, well, just keep checking your blood work. You let me know when I'm about to die. Yeah. Thank you. I'll check in. Yeah. You weren't doing bourbon?

No, I decided that diarrhea is not for me. Really? Well, I did a little bit of the bourbon because I was in Kentucky. I did a little bit of the bourbon, but you know, you can kind of do a splash there. I went to the horse races, the Kentucky horse races in Keeneland. Did you wear a big hat? Yeah, I wore a hat. I had to wear a suit because I was in the club. Right. You know, in the club, the song? Body in the club. You know that song? It was like that.

We're gonna party like it's your birthday. We're gonna party like it's your birthday. You know, we don't give a fuck because it's your birthday. Party in the club, you know. 50 Cent, Curtis Jackson. Do you know what I'm talking about? Am I delusional? Okay, thank you. No, I know what you're talking about. You're like, what's Drag Race? What's in the club? Quit this. Quit this. I know what you're talking about, but it's the way you presented it. You go, I'm in the club. In the club? That song?

It's your birthday. That's how you served it to me. Well, I went there. Can I just say, it was really nice. Like, we don't have horse racing in California or Wisconsin, anywhere else I've been. So I was like, this is a cultural thing where horses are racing for sport. People are betting. This is a cultural thing.

this is crazy that this exists, right? I've only seen it at the casino when they have the fake plastic horses run, you know what I mean? Right, on the little tracks. Yeah. And so watching the real horses run, I was like, this is crazy. You know, the jockeys are 110 pounds because the jockeys who ride the horses are tiny. Yeah, they're three foot one. Yeah. I wasn't quite prepared for the level of

generational caucasian wealth yes the function yes blondness the mega hats it's weird to see a mega hat in general to me although i was at the farmer's market on uh hollywood boulevard on sunday and i saw a person i know or used to know who used to come to my shows and they they're they had a mega hat on and i went i waved and as they turned and i saw the red hat it was like

It was so weird. It's so weird. By the way, I am voting and I'm voting for Kamala if anybody cares. You're voting for Kamala? Absolutely. I didn't know you voted. Of course I'm going to vote. I'm voting in Wisconsin. Oh, good. Thank you. Because I have my business in two houses there, so it counts. It counts. Right? I've just voted in Missouri. Yeah. Which will do nothing for Kamala, but I did vote for her.

What's up guys, it's me Caleb. November 23rd in Kansas City, Waxahachie and I are co-hosting a bunch of our friends, comedians and musicians at The Midland. We are doing a benefit show called Yeehaw to benefit the Tenants Union. Tara's episode is out and she talked a bunch about the Tenant Union. But please, please, please, if you live in Kansas City or nearby, Omaha, come on down. Chicago, come on down. November 23rd at The Midland, we're doing a show to benefit the Tenant Union that we're so excited about it.

about me, Waxahachie, a bunch of other fun people that we'll announce. But yes, please come. This episode is brought to you by Huggies Little Movers. Huggies knows that babies come in all shapes and sizes, and their tushies do too. Huggies has more curves and outstanding active fit. Parents know that there's nothing worse than an ill-fitting diaper, especially for active wiggly babies. Huggies Little Movers are curved to fit all curves.

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My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. I'm going to vote. I'm going to vote. Well, I always vote, and sometimes voting lands on a day where I'm filming. One time in L.A., I voted in drag on the way to set.

That's so fucking chic. It wasn't. I would kill to see that. My voting place was at an elementary school. Tracy, you're just what they're talking about. Girl. So I'm on the way to set. I'm in full drag. I'm in like the shitty, you know my look, shitty 60s dress, shitty blonde wig, little, I have a pink parasol and I'm like, here we go. I go in, I show my ID, which means nothing at that point. Did you take the parasol into the voting location? Of course. Okay.

Okay. Well, I'm not going to be seeing the sun. Right. Of course. I'm sorry. So I show my ID of another person. Right. Right? Don't look like that. This is a man. Sure. Yeah. Right? That could have been voter fraud. It wasn't. Right. Could have been voter fraud. Wasn't. It could have been voter fraud. They said it couldn't be done. And I...

It was huge. Yours is good. I like this. I've been watching CNN. Yeah. You've been studying? Well, you know, the day after I left the internet for three months, the day after Donald Trump got shot in the ear. God, where were you? I was on the phone. I was like, I'm not going to watch Twitter. I guess I'll just keep watching the news. I was in London.

There was a party at the pub. That's your alibi, huh? There was a party at the pub. Yeah. There's a party at the pub. There's a party at the pub then. Donald Trump's been shot. Yeah. So I'm at the school voting because I was like... They're partying at the pub. They're partying. They're racing the horses. They're drinking the bourbon. They love that I got shot in London. In London. I was in London and I got shot.

And when I was there, and you know who wasn't? Kamala. You're just kind of giving Trump on barbiturates. I mean, I'm obviously not a fan of his work, but unfortunately, watching the news so much, I see his fucking ass every day now. You know, it just sucks that he's one of the—he really is. Don't want him to win. Obviously, I have a really specific plan for what I'd like to see happen to him quickly that I won't go into, but he is really funny.

Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Just to make sure that Caleb said that and not me. Great. Yeah, it was me. You're going to get chapel roamed like that. It's over. Just so I'm clear, you went to the horse races in Kentucky and were surprised to see rich white people. No, no, no, no. Well, I'd never been. I knew nothing about it. Okay. So I knew I had to wear a suit because it was in the clubhouse. And by the way. I'm in the club. In the club. Yeah.

Well, I love Curtis 50 Cent Jackson. Yeah. Right. So he's so funny. I watch on late night shows. He's always such a funny guest. No, he's a charmer. Because he's so rich. And so his stories are always so crazy of wild things he's done with his money. And he always wears a three piece suit. I think he's so handsome. I love him. And he's probably not a fan of me, but that's okay. We don't know that. We don't know. We don't know. And I went there and it was like just real brazen, real brazen, young, 21 year old man in magazine.

Mega hats. Yeah. The young, young people in mega hats is so when it's like you're someone's grandpa, it's like, Oh, fucking old, you know, old white people, whatever, idiots, whatever, you know? Yeah. When it's young people, it's just like so sad. It is. God, you're, you got, uh, flowered and dipped in the brat, the broth and deep fried in the racism and the, the bigotry and the rich, the wealth money has padded every part of you. You understand nothing about it.

People who need it. But then, you know, it's not just about money. I went to my hometown, Wasaki, Wisconsin, just a couple weeks ago, where everybody probably lives way below poverty line. Right. And I saw more Trump signs than I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. I saw Trump signs bigger than people's houses. Yeah. They lived in trailers and the Trump sign is the size of a, you know, and I was just like, wow, you you think that you think that this person is creating policies for you.

Poor people in rural Wisconsin. You think he's looking out for you. It's really nuts. It's not happening. It's like, I can't, why did this guy, the craziest part of his whole thing to me is that he was able to capture poor people. Cause where I'm, when I grew up poor in Missouri, we hated rich people. It was like a thing. Like we all would be like, Oh my God, that guy, if you even drove like a Cadillac, we were like, kind of fuck you, you know?

And then they all went for this guy who was like the quintessential rich guy. I was like, oh, okay. I didn't think we were doing that. It's wacky. But when I had to vote in drag, I remember walking in and I was like, I'm going to vote and I'm not going to miss it just because I have to work. Yeah. Right? That's not an excuse to not vote. We can have it all. So I'm going to go. And then everyone's like, yeah, girl, make a statement. I was like, I'm just busy. Yeah. This isn't like, this is just, give me the...

Let me get out of the elementary school and drag. There's a TMZ article. Downtrodden drag queen Cassavote in dress. And I've turned a full corner on kids. I used to hate kids. And I've turned a complete corner on kids. Because adults aren't that great. No. Think about it. Worst even. Adults aren't that great. I'm saying.

Would you ever have kids? Yeah. Really? Yeah, absolutely. I was in Provincetown this summer. I went because during my break, because I used to do summer residencies there at the Post Office Cabaret. So I went to see friends and hang out with my past coworkers. And I saw these two gay guys with kids and I was looking at them with their kids. And I was like, God, that's so cool. It's like, wow, you have kids. And I said, I really want kids. And they recognized me and they were like, so what's your plan? I said, for you to look the other way. What?

For you to look the other way. For you to get a little... And then I was at main event. Do you know what Dave & Buster's is? Of course I know what Dave & Buster's is. I know what main event is as well. Okay, so I was at main event, which is like Dave & Buster's, a little nicer. Nicer main event. A little nicer. It's a little... Main event, it's cleaner. Main event, it's a little cleaner. And...

And there was a woman there. It was like 11 o'clock at night. I was there playing pool because I played a lot of pool on my break. Me and you were on very similar journeys, you and I. I played pool every day for probably three months. Yeah. For like two hours a day. I loved it. You any good?

Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Okay. I like to go to the straight establishments and what do you call it? Pretend to be bad and then take their money. Oh, hustle? In front of their little girlfriends. Yeah, their little girlfriends. I was in Milwaukee playing and I played against this straight guy and he was in front of his girlfriend and I was playing and he turns around and goes, oh, he lied. He's good. And I was like, no, you're bad. Yeah. Are you code switching? Or are you being like, what's up, brother? Well... How are you interacting with these dudes at the pool hall? I'm... It's a lot...

directing traffic you know I don't say much I'm like it's a tick-tock dance I point at the table you're pointing and yeah yeah totally cute um so no you're not code switching no I mean I think I do you think I'm really gay do I think you're really gay yeah is the sun gonna rise tomorrow does a bear shit in the woods do I think you're really gay what are we talking about

You started this interview putting on makeup, and then you finish it off with a cheetah print hat. Yes, I think you're really gay, Trixie Mattel, famous drag queen. I think you're really gay. I just mean. And let me say this, too. What I realized on my break. What I realized on my break.

By the way, the mental health did improve. You know, obviously. It didn't? No, obviously. No, it did. I'm so happy. I feel great. And I feel very appreciative of the gift of being able to be Trixie, more than I ever was. Yeah. More than I ever was. We're grateful that you're doing Trixie. It's awesome. Three months without it, the first month I was like, oh my God, should I just run? This is awesome. Outworking is awesome. And then by like month three, I was like,

I really miss doing drag and performing and talking and all that. Like talking on camera. The vow of silence. Yeah. I'm glad you're doing Trixie. I will say, I hope that in post-break Trixie world, you will do less.

Yeah, everybody wants me to do less. I do. We're sick of seeing it. I do think because all my content is on YouTube, if you watch one of my videos, I got you for 18 years, 18 years. On the 18th birthday, you find out it wasn't his. Because YouTube will think you want to see everything I ever do. Yeah. So if you watch one makeup video of me accidentally, because it's on autoplay,

Every day for the rest of your life, I'm like, hey. No, even if you don't want to watch it, YouTube thinks that you want to watch me. Yeah. Well, people mostly do. That's why we're here. That's why you are as big as you are. People mostly do want to watch you because you're hilarious and compelling. Well, some things came out while I was gone, which I think Pit Stop was still on when I left. And then English Teacher came out when I was MIA.

So it's fun to have stuff come out while I just didn't. I would just get texted from friends like, watched your thing. Did you get to do scenes with Brian in English teacher? Yes. Isn't he the funniest? So funny. I've been a fan of his for a long time. And that show's doing great. It's so funny. Like, he's so funny. I've been a fan of his since Caleb Gallo. And then I watched him on Will and Grace. And like, I love all his little characters with the Snapchat filters. Yes, I'm so proud of him.

He's been working really hard for a long time. And this show feels like the embodiment of the thing he was trying to do. I'm really excited for him. It's really funny. I mean, the show, basically it's like the teachers and the parents are like,

you know, their views are way like, Ooh, don't say that. Yeah. And then the students are so woke. It's like this tug of war he's in as the teacher. Yeah. Which is like the infighting about political correctness of nothing, which I think in a school setting is like a great arena for that. Cause it's like age gaps and, you know, and I got to play what I loved about it is now when drag Queens are on TV, the role we get is like,

Love yourself. You're fierce, diva. It's the magical gay person who helps everyone. And I don't know anyone like that. Gay people are monsters who are out for themselves. Absolutely. Most of all you. Drag queens are mentally ill whores. Uneducated drug addicts. Like...

All this like, all this like, we're here shit is propaganda. Ain't nobody helping anybody. Drag queens aren't helping anybody. Come on, drag queens can't even help themselves. You know what I mean? So, I say that as I have an assistant, but. Yeah, yeah, team of six people who like, carried your stuff in here. But, in the show, I was like, he was like, oh, your characters, my characters trying to, Brian was like, my characters trying to prove to the school body that like,

not all drag queens are creeps and you're going to help us put on a part of a football game where you help the jocks learn how to do drag to do a good job. And I was like, love that. He's like, but you end up being kind of a kleptomaniac and you're like vaping and you, you know, I was like, yeah, it sounds about right. Cause that's, you let a drag queen into a high school. What do you think would happen? Theft. Theft. Theft. Bare minimum. Murder. Yeah. Murder. Stealing money, hurting people. Yeah.

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Have you ever hurt someone? Physically? I'm not like a fighter. You're not a fighter? No. I've been mugged. I lay down and take the punches until they're gone. I don't even fight back. You got mugged? Oh, yeah. What'd you do? I got carjacked. You got carjacked? Mm-hmm. By the way, I'm getting my license again.

It's gonna be huge. It's gonna be huge. Do you have a Kamala? Do you have a Kamala at all? You're watching a lot of CNN. Hey, I'm Kamala. This is bad. It's bad. It's not good, right?

It's not good either. None of it's good. My fight or flight is triggered so hard right now. I am so prepared to get out of this studio. You've heard the share. She's on a pill too. They're all on pills when I do it. They're all... I don't know what.

Well, you know, my share is worse. That's not your share. Yes, it is. I'm going to vote, bitch. It's crazy. Crazy. All this CNN and this is what you brought to me? I'm Kamala Harris. I don't know what... That actually... I will say on that last one, there was a bit...

And so you lost me again. It's Michael Jackson a little bit. And it is also giving evil Elmo. Yeah. It's not giving... The laugh is where you're getting off base. Girl, the other thing I'm trying to do is... I'm a bird person. I love parrots. And...

Why are you... I'm just talking about myself here. Just the... It's the... I'm trying to... I love your mind, and I'm trying to go where you go, because we were on license. Oh, right. Okay. You're asking if I hurt someone. Oh, I killed someone with my car. Just kidding. Yeah.

You're getting your license again and you love parrots. I'm locked in. You're weaving. It's called the weave. It's called the weave. It's called the weave and I'm doing it beautifully. I'm doing it beautifully. Couldn't be done. Um...

I really want to get a parrot again because I loved having parrots. Before Drag Race, I had a parrot and I loved it. And it died right before I got on Drag Race, which is kind of a blessing because I don't know what I would have done traveling the world with a bird at home. But now that I want a better work-life balance, I want to re-engage with parrots.

Parrots are not like dogs or cats. They're the third most popular pet, but they're the first most rehomed because they're demanding. They're emotional. They're super smart. A lot of these birds are as smart as toddlers and they live 75 years. So you have a 75 year old toddler who can fly and has razors for a mouth. You know, like it's a crazy animal to have, but they're beautiful creatures and I think they're amazing. Yeah.

And I was at this bird store in Burbank the other day called Birds Plus, and I was looking at different birds. And they have a lot of people's birds being boarded, you know, because birds have to be taken care of. They have to be fed every day. It's not like a cat where you just, I don't know, throw dead fish on the ground and leave. I don't know what you do. I don't like cats. That's what you do, yeah. But this person's umbrella cockatoo was in the cage, and they obviously are smart, and they look you in the eye and talk. And this person's bird was going, I love you.

"I love you." And I was going, "I love you too." And then I would walk away and the bird would go, "La la la la la. La la la la la la la." It was so crazy. I don't like that.

There was something about it that was like, oh, this bird has killed before and will kill again. Don't check your watch right now. I turned the sound off. Nice. What you described to me was like a horror movie. I loved it. Yeah, okay. Are you going to get one? Well, then there was like, I was at this bird store in Kentucky, and it was called like Amazing Pets or something. Just some, you know, bird name. It's not Birds Plus. That's for God damn sure. Birds Plus. There's one place in California called Discount Birds, which I don't like that name. No.

I don't like that. No, that's not nice. You know, like, I don't like that. Everyone matters. Every bird matters. Right. No bird left behind. Oh my God, she's running. Right. Oh my God, she's running. They're eating the birds. They're eating the birds. It's getting a little more sober. It's getting worse. It's getting soberer. And I don't know, I was at the, and there was a cockatoo. Cockatoos are so crazy and scary because they're all white and they have big black eyes and they are so emo and emotional and,

And scary. And this one was in a cardboard box and he was walking out of the box and then looking at me and then slowly backing back into the box. Like, come in here, bitch. You need that bird. And the energy of these birds sometimes is, I won't hurt you. Yeah, it's all giving scary, Trixie. Yeah. And you talk saying I love you back to the bird really genuinely caused some concern for me. Well, I read this book called The Family Crucible and they said that we in relationships try to play out family dynamics that we saw when we were younger.

So what does it say that I want to get close to something that's like, I won't hurt you? Yeah. What does it say? What do you think? Well, I'm opening for Cyndi Lauper. What? In November. Where? San Francisco and Palm Springs. I'm DJing before Cyndi Lauper's show. That'd be pretty fun. If anybody wants to come. I might. November in Palm Springs? Yeah. Who's to say what I might do? I might swing by. And swim by the Trixie Motel and have a drink. Yeah.

Have a good, have a pint. Who's that? That's just Scotland. You, all of it. It's all of it. Do you like to have a pint? You're an incredible actor, actually. I know. You really embodied that character just now. Well, you know, when I did English Teacher, I said, you know, Brian, I only know how to really be Trixie. I don't know how to like do, and I only know how to do theater acting, which is like me in a wig screaming, you know? Yeah.

He was like, basically for this show, for this character, he's like, don't play any of the jokes. Just read the line and throw it away. And the more you downplay it, the funnier on camera it will be. And I was like, that sounds crazy. But he was right. That's great advice. I've never done TV acting or anything. My assistant has and stuff. And I was like, how do you... He was like, well, the camera reads everything. He said...

The camera, if you just think of something, the camera will read you thinking it. Like, you don't have to play concerned. Think about being concerned about that and the camera will read it. I'm like, that's weird and crazy. It's just, it's stripping it all down from the stage back to like very small basic stuff. Because you have to telegraph everything on the stage. Yeah. Which you're so used to. But you, like, you know, if you're upset on stage, you have to fucking throw your arms. But if you're upset in the show, you can just...

Just let it be in the face because the camera will get all of it. I think acting is really crazy. It is really crazy. Do you ever get drunk on the fake wine? Pardon? Do you remember when Lady... Remember that, like, actors, like, roundup where all these female actresses were like... Remember they were all talking about acting and Gaga was like, does anybody else get drunk when you... Does anybody else feel drunk when you drink the prop wine? And all the other actresses had to act like that was normal at all to say. I don't remember that. Oh, it was literally like Kirsten Dunst, like...

Chris is like, no, hon. No, bitch. No, I'm not getting drunk off the prop line. Did you watch the Joker program? You swore a... The Joker program? The program. The new Lady Gaga Joker program? Yeah. I didn't see it. Did you? No, because I didn't see the first Joker. Right. But I love comic book shit.

And I love DC and I love Batman, but I didn't watch the first Joker because remember the type of person that loved that first movie? Of course I did. I was like, I'm going to hate this. Yeah. But now I've heard that they hate the second one. So I'm like, I'm going to love it. You might love the second one. Because that Gaga shit, line it up.

I will follow that bitch to space. I love her. I think we are alive at the same time as, you know, there's people that we're just lucky to be alive at the same time as. Name them. Her. Right. Missy Elliott. Sure. Obviously Beyonce. Right. You. Thank you. Finally. Honestly, Rue. Rue. And there's a lot of them. Like Devo. I think we're all lucky to be alive. Well, I guess they're kind of like, they were lucky to be alive, although they're all alive.

But honestly, people... What do you mean they were lucky to be alive? Well, I don't know if all those members of the band are still alive. Right. So I can't say. Right. I'm just happy to be on the list. Dolly. Of course, Dolly. Of course, Dolly. You know, Serena Williams. Yes. Greatest of all time. Yes. My God. By the way, you swore up and down before we got on mic that you were going to ask me some questions about me. Oh. And this whole time, I've just been asking you about the driver's license and...

It's your second time on the show, Trixie. Things have got to evolve a little bit. Well, who would you add to that list? Like, who do you think we're lucky to be alive with the best of us? You. Don't do that. You. I mean it. You. Oh, God. Natalie Maines, lead singer of the Chicks. Girl. Girl. Girl. You want to talk. Oh, my gosh. I do want to talk. I listen to that music a lot during the break. Oh, good. Fly? Fly.

Uh, no, no, they're new shit. Oh, yeah, Gaslighter. Yeah, Gaslighter. Um, How Do You Sleep At Night, that shit. Oh, um, Taking The Long Way. Taking the long way. Taking the long way around. They are so amazing, and obviously I don't have to tell you what happened to them was insane. You don't have to tell me about it. Have you ever seen Shut Up And Sing? Of course. Thank you. God, you're so real. And this is, I've been saying you're real, and everyone's been pushing back on me. Trixie's not real, Trixie's fake, Trixie's fake. Everyone I've ever talked to. But I say, Trixie is real.

Everyone also thinks I'm Bill Gates. So financially. Yeah. No, they really do. They think you're a billionaire. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you're not doing bad. Last time I was here, I made $50. Well, you did. I guess I remember I did end up paying you, yeah. I remember you asking, but now I'm remembering that I also did pay you. That was my first Apple Pay. Was it? Like somebody sending Apple Cash. Aww. I was wondering where I got that money from the other day, because it's still in there. So you needed it badly then. You took it from me and you didn't even use it. Well, I'm saving it. Oh, that's so special. Oh, I lost a lot of money at those horse races, by the way. Did you?

I don't know why people are gambling. I grew up just off the reservation. My mom worked at a casino. My stepdad works at a casino. So I think people who work at casinos are like, what the fuck are these people doing? Come here, just throw your money away. I don't think I'll ever do that again. Why did you bet on horses? How did you choose? Well, I just picked names that were compelling to me. Right. Like one of them was named... One of them was...

One of them was named like, I don't know. I was just, whatever in the moment spoke to me. Because the horses have crazy names. They do. They're not like Ralph and Stephanie. And they're not like, they're not like, and they're not like Seabiscuit and Rocket. The horse's names are like, love is a battlefield. Yeah. The horse's names are like, the truth will set you free. Yeah. They're like whole sentences. For sure.

Ralph and Stephanie would be fun horse names. I also went to a horse farm to see where these retired superstar athlete horses go, where they get retired and then they get studded out, which is where they get prostituted. Right. For their semen. To inseminate. Yeah. And some of these star superstar athlete horses, let's say you had a horse and you wanted this famous horse to impregnate. Guess how much it is? Minimum. Okay. I want to get my horse pregnant with a famous champion horse.

it's going to cost me. And they're doing everything. They're inseminating all that stuff. It is a guaranteed baby. So it's not just once they will, if it doesn't take you do it again until it takes, I'm going to pay 500,000 for that. That's, that's I think crazy, but it was closer to like two 50. Okay. So thanks for kind of ruining that. Sorry. You just built it up in a way that a horse names. Oh yeah. Do you see what I'm saying? Catching freedom. Honor Marie.

Resilience. Granmo the first. Epic Ride. Who would you bet on of these? Well, Fierceness. Right. See, sometimes I just wait for a name. You know, the first four races I won money. And then I started getting drunk and confident. Yeah. So then I started being like...

And then putting more money down and then it was like, oh shit, I lost $200 that race. You lost $200 because you bet on domestic product. Well, I bought... Well, then I'm a lifelong vegetarian. I started to think...

ethically, like, do I align with this? Do these horses like this? I don't know. I don't know. But I at least got to experience it. I would say they probably don't. Yeah. Because they're working. Right. You're on hiatus. They're at work. This is their drag. Well, they're probably watching my YouTube videos. They probably are. Everyone is. Yeah. We just got served to them and now it's like... Everyone. It's in the lineup now. Well, we had guests on the YouTube channel while I was gone, which was nice. Other drag queens came in and did YouTube videos. Yeah, I didn't get asked to participate. Well, you didn't do drag.

mad mad at me that you don't do drag well put me in drag then what would you do if you were a drag queen does anybody ask like what would your cause we were talking about this before the show not you but love to sit home and watch like Drag Race or whatever and be like

If I was on that runway, they could not take me. I feel that way. It's like, really, bitch? You can't brush hair. Right. You can't do makeup. You can't walk in heels. You can't dance. You can't tell a goddamn joke. You can't... What would you do if you got out there? I'm not saying you, just like the proverbial... What would you do? Go to an amateur show and you'll see what that would do. That would put on an Acura jumpsuit and...

Whatever song is currently on the radio that they like and they walk in a fucking circle. Do you know? Circle. You know what I would do? I would do, I would dress like the horse from stepmom with Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon. She has cancer. She has cancer. I would dress like the cancer horse and I would do a routine as the cancer horse from stepmom. That's the kind of shit I'd be doing. Did we, was it last episode with Trixie that we talked about my two drag names?

Kayla Barron and Kayla Barron. So there's, okay. Kayla Barron, one drag name for me, or Kayla Barron. So it's like, do I want to go classy? Do I want to go trashy? What do you think? Oh, I like Barron. Well, it sounds like Kayla Barron.

No, I get that. So do you get, do you understand? Baron like can't have kids. Yeah. Okay. Do you want me to do Baron like that? Yeah, Kayla Baron. Kayla Baron. Yeah. That's kind of fun. Yeah. And I play a Baron woman who like all she wanted was kids, but she can't have them. Do you want kids? Absolutely. I think they're fun. I think they're fun too.

And I feel really good about adopting. I think we would be good at raising kids together, you and me. This is moving fast. Yeah. This is moving really fast. Well, stop flirting with me and we won't move fast. And I think I've been talking to a lot of celebrity people about like, they have kids and I go, how do you do that? How do you have kids? And they all go, well, just patience and time and you have to want it. Oh, we also have three nannies. Exactly correct. The help. And I have, I, I, from a culture where nobody had a nanny. Right. Right. We couldn't afford nannies. Right. Right. You just.

spin the mobile above the crib and leave the kids at home, whatever. But I just feel like if I had a kid, I would really try not to have help because why would I... Adopting costs, what, $250,000? Might as well get fucked by the horse. You know what I mean? Like...

But it costs $250,000. And then what? I'm going to pay someone else to take care of it? Does adopting cost $250,000? Oh, like $200,000. Yeah. Does it? Oh, yeah. I also love that you said might as well get fucked by the horse. Like that doesn't, wouldn't get you a kid still. Like you, there's nothing, there's nothing in that that would get you what you want. I get something I want. Nice. Nice. I like that. What do you, I have to ask you this. Overall, $40,000 to $70,000 for domestic infant adoption in California? Yeah.

I don't believe that. I don't believe that. Well, that's from American adoptions of California.com. A front. Yeah. That's a fucking front. That's a front for big adoption. They get you in for 70 and then they fleece you for the other one 30. Yeah. I don't know. I guess it's also okay. Part of me thinks you adopt. Right. And then part of me thinks, I guess if you want to produce a child too, there's a lot of ways to do that. I'm going surrogate. Okay. I'm going, I'm like asking a friend, like, will you carry, will you take my seed and will you carry my child?

That's what I'm asking. Someone just went, ugh, over there. It was take my seed. What's ugh about this? Yeah, a beautiful gay man wanting to raise a family. My seed repulses you. Do you feel strong about proliferating your genes? You know, no. But I am the last of my. If I don't have kids, my name dies with me.

Okay. Like I'm the last of my name. There's no other people to do it. You think that no one in the world is named Aaron? In my family, in my bloodline. Now, do I actually care about that? No, but my dad did mention it to me a couple of times before he died. Oh shit. He would, he would just, it would be really random. It would just be like literally like we'd be at dinner and he'd be like, and don't forget you're the last of our bloodline. And I'd be like, okay, that's fantastic. But yeah, so that is, that's present in the mind. That's tough. I mean, I don't, I don't,

Parenting and having children is something that I don't even pretend to act like I know a fucking thing about. I find it hard to be even critical of my own parents or mother or anything because I'm like, I'm not going to act like I know. Do you know what my mom sent me the other day? I wonder what you'll think of this. My mom sent me this TikTok. She's on TikTok now. She sent me this TikTok. I've seen her. Have you on there? Oh, yeah. I wish she'd put some clothes on.

You're the only one. Her fans love it. She sent me a TikTok that's like a sunset with words over it. And it's set to music. And it says, if my children come to me as adults and tell me they need to heal from something I did in their childhood, they won't be met with denial or the feeling of being dismissed. Instead, they'll hear, I'm sorry that I wasn't more careful with my own trauma, but it's okay to let it go now and hand it back to me. She sent me that no context middle of the day. And I said, love you. And she said, love you.

Well, the older I get, I feel what your mom's saying because the older I get, the more I'm like, God, I'm 35. If I was my mom, I would have had, I think, four kids right now. Yeah. And I don't know fucking anything. You really don't. So I think when we're kids, we think the adults know everything. And then you get their age and you're like, they don't know anything. You're 35? Yeah. I didn't know that. I just turned 35. Happy birthday. You thought I was older. No, I don't think I thought of you as having an age. I think of you as very, you're just sort of timeless. You thought I was older.

Well, I got a text from my mom. I said, forgot to mention, I'm on a new English teacher on FX that started today. I mean, a new show called English Teacher on FX that started today. And I sent a picture of me and Brian on the show. And Aunt Gooch said, my Aunt Gooch, she said, intriguing. Well, it is. And my mom said, interesting. Well, it is.

And was that it? That's it. I love that. That's all they said. I love that you texted them. Because if I'm not on and they, you know, if I don't tell them exactly where it is and how to watch it, I can't be mad later that they didn't watch it. Right. You care that they see your stuff though.

I want to give them the opportunity. Yeah, I think that's beautiful. But they don't really care and they don't think I'm funny or interesting, which I think is healthy. I think it's good. Like, I don't know. I don't, if my mom was like, I want to go on tour and watch every one of your shows, that would be my nightmare. Yeah, we don't want her there every night. No, the shit I say about her. Yeah. About everything, about sex. Like, I don't, nobody starts doing drag for their mom. No. You know? Well, maybe these days, you never know.

Oh, well, the girls, the girls are, well, Katya and I are at the age now in drag where people are like, I started, I started doing drag because I watched you in middle school. How does that feel? Horrible. Yeah. Horrible. I can imagine. Yeah. I don't like the idea that you and Katya are molding the future, like the youth. Well, sometimes I hear shit that we've said on the shows parroted by someone who doesn't know who we are. They just heard that phrase through the world. Yeah.

Oh, and you're hearing them say it in a way that's like, they're not telling it to you. They just heard it in the world. And I'm like, they don't know that it came from my loins. It's born of my seed. Yeah, born of my seed. I went to Cracker Barrel. Okay. I heard you and Brittany talk about it. I love Cracker Barrel. It was delicious. Yeah, right? It was a Sunday. There was lots of families there probably were at church. I'm going to cry. Lots of iPad kids, which always, I don't want to say I'm Amish. I don't want to say what I would do if I was a parent. Right. The iPad kid thing.

Girl, get the f*** off the TV. Get the f*** off the TV. I'm not watching that. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Whatever happened to the burping? Whatever happened to, you know, whatever happened to kids sitting bored? Whatever happened to the burping? Do you know how much of my childhood I spent bored? Yeah.

What if I'm going to board? I have a question for you. What? Are you going to relax after this break now, do you think? Yeah. Like right now I work only every other week. Like I just flat out during my break started blocking off whole weeks of the calendar. And then next summer I'm probably taking off again three months. Really? Yeah. Girl, drag is cute. It's not that serious. We're not heart surgeons. We're not Jim Connors planes.

My workaholism ran so deep and so crazy that I got so sick and lost so much weight and just cried all the time. And I was like, what are we doing? This is disrespectful to the art form. It's disrespectful to myself. And most importantly, the people that choose to watch me. It's sick to sit down here in a wig and not enjoy it. It's sick to cover up that you're tired and that you don't feel funny that day. And like, it's sad. It's sad. I started to feel like a Trixie impersonator. I put on the blonde wig and the little dress and go say the shit and go home and be like,

I felt nothing. That was sad. You know? I do. Absolutely. I know. And I don't ever want to do that again. So I think Trixie as an industrial complex, I'm okay to let that kind of go away. I mean, I used to be an artist and I just felt like for the last couple of years, I was like a product. Are you feeling artistic again now? Very much so. Yeah. Very much so. I love to talk and do comedy. I play my guitar and sing all the time again. I'm getting ready for some DJ dates coming up and just not overworking. What are you singing lately?

Well, I'm writing a bunch of new music because on my break, I was Amish. So I just had my guitar and nothing to do. And I was writing like a song a day. Really? It'd come out like a sneeze. Sit down and write it out and then move on. Plus, I made this rule for myself where I'd be like, if you have a song idea, don't get up until it's done. And then because of DJing, I got a lot more into musical production. So this time around, writing the music, I know how to use my music production software so I can burn out demos with music.

My old way was very analog. I would just sit with the iPhone microphone and play the song and send it away to, what do you think of this? Should we make this, you know? Yeah. And now I just have a lot more fun experimenting, playing different music, synthesizers. Also, DJing really scrambled my understanding of music. In drag, everything is a regurgitation and a reflection of culture and something else. And in DJing, everything's like collage. It's a bunch of sounds put together to make a new sound.

And I think my approach to writing music, I've gotten less precious about it. It doesn't have to be good because good doesn't mean anything. Nothing about what we're doing as artists. Making something good means nothing. It means nothing because what is good? Everybody thinks something different is good. Your favorite song is someone else's least favorite song. Yeah. My least favorite song of all time is Hey Ya by Outkast. People love that song. Why do you hate it? There's one part of it that drives me nuts. What?

The part where it's like, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right. I can't stand it. You don't think it's kind of fun? All right, all right, all right, all right. Like that drove you crazy just now. Damn. Damn. I hate to hear that. I think that's a great song. So your point is well taken. That's what I'm saying. I know that there's something wrong with me for not liking that song. Right. I know that that's just a weird... I find that thing weirdly annoying. Yeah. That's okay. And so...

Do you think that Outkast thinks that song is not good because I don't think it's good? Of course not. It doesn't matter. Do you think Outkast would like playing that song? Do you like... Okay. I bet he has a... I bet live people... I bet it's nuts. I do like that part of the song. That little thing. I like that. What part of the song is that? I don't think I know it. It's like a little toy piano part in the background.

It came out when I think it was in high school, so I remember hearing it just all the time. I was really, really addicted when I was younger to their song, Roses. Your roses really smell like doo-doo-doo. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I liked that song.

When I was a kid, I remember reading an interview with the Spice Girls, and all the Spice Girls had to answer what song was their least favorite song. And I remember Victoria Beckham, Posh Spice, saying that she hated the B-52's Love Shack. Whoa. And I remember being like, I didn't think anyone hated this song. And that's like a lifelong thing of like, wow, some people just hate something that other people love. Yeah. Yeah.

One of my other big ones is, did you know 27 record labels passed on Joan Jett's I Love Rock and Roll because they said it wasn't a hit. Damn. Did you know that Walt Disney was fired from his first job at a newspaper because he lacked creativity and Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team? I love shit like that. I love shit like that. I do. I actually unironically do too. Are you following Horse Mafia? No. You gotta get on Horse Mafia.

You got to get on horse mafia on Instagram. They're posting shit every day. Is it about horses? Honey? In some ways? Yes, but no, it's like they'll post like every, every single day they make like seven posts, custom posts a day. And they'll be like, like this grown means nothing as a mother, a child, as a child, they get bigger, older, but grown in a mother's heart. Each will always be her baby. Or they'll post like happy Wednesday time to get up and have a coffee and say our prayers. Find me a daily one. Do you follow that guy? Who's like a corporate guy? He's like,

Hey, guys. Look, this one. Go back, go back, go back, go back. Go back, go back, go back. My prayer for this Wednesday is that my family and friends stay safe, happy, and healthy. And it's got a little... What do you think of that? I'm going back on break. Okay. Okay. I follow this guy. Well, I don't know what his name is because he always shows up on my feed. Get this out of here. He says, um...

He's like a corporate guy and he'll be like, hey guys, today's the day. Oh yeah. Go in, hustle, give it 110%. Yeah, yeah, I know this guy. The face is what did it. Yeah. He's got like spiky dark hair and really spacey little teeth. Yeah. And I just, I can't help but love the energy because it's like so misplaced. Yeah. That level of enthusiasm for corporate life I think is wild. It is wild. But-

Honestly, he's going to work and excited about it. He's got it figured out. He's got to get it. You got to get it up one way or another. Yeah. One way or another, it's got to get up. Hey, guys. Today's the day. Go in. Give it 110%. I love it. And then would you do Trump?

No. Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, what was that starting as? What are you guys doing here? That's what it was going into. They gave it 110%. They said it couldn't be done. Yeah, you love it. But it was done and it was huge. You love huge and you love they said it couldn't be done. It was great. Everything about it was great. Even better than China. Yeah.

You're good. It's not good. It is. And I hate that I've consumed enough content by way of watching the news that I know about that. What's your favorite Trump moment of all time? I don't have one. I do. I do. It's what I've said before. Oh, well, this week he said that he participated in a peaceful transfer of power last time. Yeah. Pretty cool. Love delusion. Because he didn't. Love fantasy. Pretty cool. I love storytelling. When he says shit like that, it's like, ooh.

We're watching an animated, just made-up fantasy situation. I love when you sing. Thank you. I do. My favorite is when he told the photographers at his and Kim Jong-un's meeting, make us look thin and handsome. He told the press pool with Kim Jong-un to make them look thin and handsome. That's... I'm sorry, but that's...

Awesome. It's so... Make me look handsome. Bitch, you look like you have barbecue sauce on your face. What are you talking about? Kim Jong-un was literally like...

Even Kim Jong-un was like, this guy's nuts. Should we leave? Should we leave? Should we get out of here? Hey, we got a voicemail. Put those headphones on, I beg of you. Okay, sorry. You got a pair over there? And by the way, I probably sound overtly political. I just think it's important to tell people that I'm voting. That's all. No, I like that you're voting. I like that you're voting for Kamala. I did as well. Hell yeah. I already voted.

Hell yeah. Did I tell you that? Well, it's not the perfect candidate. Really, bitch? If you were outside and you were freezing, which is our situation right now, would you not put on the winter coat because it wasn't the one you wanted? Right. Put the winter coat on, bitch. You're real as fuck. Star Wars, cut open the animal crawl inside. Oh. Does that happen in Star Wars? Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know if it feels... I've never seen it. It's fun to talk to you in these. Wait, what's the voicemail?

Hi, Caleb. So true. And esteemed guests. Thanks for, thanks for just being y'all. I have a question about contemporary art. Mostly. What is it? Who is Jeff Koons? Who is Banksy? Where do NFTs fall within all of this? I don't understand it. So if y'all could shed some light, that would be super great. Thanks again. Love you. Bye. Well, love their energy. You know, Jeff Koons.

I do not know what you're talking about. I don't know what any of this is. Jeff Koons is that, I almost put artist in quotes, which would be mean, but Jeff Koons is the guy who made the sculpture of the balloon animal dog. Oh, they sell it at the airport. He does those things. They sell it at the airport. Yeah, yeah. This, Jeff Koons, I don't like his stuff. I don't like it. He makes me mad. I don't like the bunnies. I don't like his stuff.

I don't like his stuff. I don't like his stuff. I don't think he's fun. I don't like it. I fucking hate that. I hate Jeff Koons. Like, I don't like his stuff. Like, and you look at him, too. He's like, oh, God. I just don't like him. I'm sorry. I'm a hater about him. Is he searched? Show me that yellow picture. He looks pumped, Tina Aguilera. Is he an F word? He's got to be, right? There's no chance he's not, right? Girl. City. Girl. And he's the chancellor. He's the chancellor of city.

A gay guy to his school. Yeah, I just don't like his work. What do you think? Is it moving you? You know, honestly, one of my worst traits is that I have almost no connection to the world of visual arts. I didn't enjoy art classes in high school. I don't like going to art museums. It just does not stimulate me, so...

like gun to my head I could not tell you what art is good or bad I don't know I'm not interested in good or bad I do think art should evoke I mean you know his art does evoke emotion in me it pisses me off can I say that in art I like when people play with scale I like giant things that usually are small and small things that are usually giant I love I just just at the Milwaukee the Milwaukee Discovery World and they have a tiny version of Milwaukee I love like a tiny version of a city and I love over it

Sometimes they'll put those in like a glass floor and you can walk on top of the small city. Wouldn't that be fun though? I've been to one of those. Didn't get to do that. But then I also love when it's a small thing they make giant. Yeah. You ever been to the world's largest rocking chair? No. A lot of fun. It's big. It's big. It's way bigger than you'd think. Oh my God. It's way bigger than you'd think. Illinois? Is it in Illinois? I bet it's huge. Oh, it's massive. You're going to go into it thinking like, oh, it's a rocking chair, but it's big. Honey? Yeah.

It's bigger than you even think. Yeah, I don't really care for that. And Banksy, I mean, my only response to that is I've seen the video of someone buying the art and then the second the art gets purchased, it shreds itself. Do you know about that? Yeah. I think that's cool. I think that is pretty cool. I think it's funny to take people's money and then do this. Yeah. Banksy in general feels a little like...

2012 what are we doing but that is pretty cool I like I like making someone waste a bunch of money I think that's funny yeah I mean it's like when makeup brands have mystery boxes yeah here's your brown lip balm or whatever you know like I don't know whatever they're putting in there random shit you don't know what it is you gonna do one

You know, I hate to be a hater because I bet in some of these mystery boxes you do get great shit. Yeah. Well, it's like when you go to the thrift shop or a clothes sale and they're like, oh, here's just random mystery bag in your size. Right. Like Big Bud will do that sometimes. I don't know if I would like that. I don't want to make up mystery box and I don't want to clothe the mystery box. I'd rather just have less but know what I'm going to get. Yeah. I agree. That's why I have a problem with gambling.

You're going to throw away money because you might get money. You just did that. But I wanted to experience the culture. Yeah, it was a cultural thing. Yeah, and I went in with $400 cash and I had enough to drink and then go home. So I don't know. That's pretty beautiful. It was fine. I liked it and I would go like once a year for the culture of it. What's something you've loved recently? Oh, man.

Well, the Gypsy Rose Blanchard Life After Lockup show was awesome. She has a reality show? Yeah, so it starts with literally the cameras following her getting out of jail and going to buy shoes because she's leaving jail with no belongings. Do you know how connected I am to her? She did that murder in the town where I went to college, and then she was locked up at the women's prison that my mom used to work at in my hometown. Yeah. I'm very connected.

I love Love is Blind. I've never seen it. Okay. Love is Blind is awesome. It's a show where they have... It would be like me and you dating, and there's a wall between you and me. We can't see each other. Right. And so we have to fall in love just based on our voices. Wouldn't like that. You can't say what you look like. Can't say how tall you are, what you weigh, your ethnicity, how long you're... Like, you can't say I have long hair. You can't say anything. It's just...

What are your beliefs? Do you want children? Will your sense of humor the sound of your voice? And it's an experiment to see whether or not people can fall in love without their maybe proclivity for their usual type getting in the way. Yeah. Because a lot of times they fall in love being like, I would have never talked to you in a bar. But I love you. Do you think they're genuinely falling in love? Multiple people a season get married. Oh, you know what we have? I'm going to win more money.

Trixie, I'm going to ask you, I'm going to tell you, okay, I'm going to tell you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false. Do you know why I win this? Why? Because I'm, you know, I'm like part psychic. And by part, I mean whole thing. What? I'm dead serious. I'm very intuitive. I think you're intuitive, but you're not a whole psychic, I don't think. What part? What? Well, if not whole, then how much? How much psychic? Okay.

I would say maybe if you, I think you do have really strong intuition. I think you're somebody who knows the world and pays attention. I would say if I would make that a percentage psychic, maybe you're like 25% psychic. Do you think if I work with the FBI, I could find a dead body? Yes. I do too. I'm dead serious. You'd be good in a mind hunter situation. Yeah. Let's say someone was murdered and this was their cup of coffee. I think I could be like,

They're in Sarasota, Florida. Right. So that I don't believe. Okay. That's where I would cut you off. Right. And I would say maybe if we had a little bit more evidence, you would get there. Okay. You're hurt. When you die, I guess I'm just not going to find you. No. Don't say that. What if they need your help?

Okay, I'll find you. Nice. I'm going to tell you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quick as you can if you think they're true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, you're going to get 50 US dollars. You're the only person who's ever asked for the money. Why is that like so crazy? I just think it's really funny. I'm sorry all these other people are balling. I don't need $50. Every single one of them has less money than you. Okay, here we go. My Uber to Birds Plus the other day was $33 there and back. That's $66 to look at birds and say, I love you.

And you were talking back to them, which I do want to talk about off camera. Okay. Human teeth are the only body part that can't heal themselves. That's true. True. The Green Bay Packers won the first Super Bowl. That's true. True. Baby rabbits are called cubs. Not true. False. Kits. The longest time between twins being born was 90 days. That's true. That's true. Ken Doll's full name is Ken Richard Dalloway. Not true. False. Kenneth Sean Carson. The airplane was invented in Kitty Hawk, South Carolina. False.

False. It's false. It's North Carolina. The Spanish national anthem has no lyrics. True. It's true. Fuck! All you fucking can all fucking doubt me. In my fucking powerful mind, all of you sat here and all of you... Wait, is there more left? Yes. Oh. There's so many more left. There's so many more left. Facebook is older than Timothee Chalamet.

Oh, that's true. That's false. Pride begets a major downfall. That is so, you were on a roll. The current city manager for Palm Springs, California is Scott Stiles. True. True. Will Ferrell's character on The Office was named D'Angelo Nightwood. No, it's D'Angelo Vicker. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you're correct. Dolly Parton is the youngest of 12 children.

She is. False. She's the fourth child. Owls can fly up to 90 miles per hour. That is not true. It's true. She's the fourth of the 12. I'm talking about the owls. What? Oh, false. Yeah, you're right. 40 miles per hour. The comic book superhero Storm is a member of the Justice League. No, Justice League is DC, right? She's Marvel? It's false. False. It's X-Men. There is no letter Q in any US state name. Is there a time limit? Why would this be the one?

Why would this be the one that you... Because I feel like that moment dropped at Gorgeous. She's like, Alabama, A-L-A-B-A-M-A. I think that's true. It's true. Over 80% of Earth's oceans are totally unexplored. Oh, yeah. The deep part. True. True. Wow. Every one of you can sit over there. Yeah. Has anybody ever... No one's been better than me. I was the greatest that ever lived. Let's see if I got... I might have 50 right here.

That's what we got in here. Has anybody ever done better than that? I don't think so. What did I get, one wrong, two wrong? Here, you need to find me $10 later. Babe, I'm going to find your body when you're dead. Because I know shit. Oh, shit, I'm moving up. I got $60 this time. You owe me $10, Trixie. Girl.

And don't check your phone right now. No, I'm going to try to do the Apple Payback to you. Oh, that's really cute. Let's do it. Oh, I love that for us. Is there anything else you want to tell people? Oh, you still need to. Okay, well, it's different because you're our first repeat guest. You're our first repeat guest ever. Yeah. What's so true to you right now? Oh, my gosh. You know, oh, my gosh. I'm going to tell you money is just money. Right. Work is just work. Right. Items are just items. Literally.

People are like here and gone. Yeah. People are here and gone. Yeah. Here and gone. And I think it's so true that nobody's ever on their deathbed. Like I wish I had worked more. Yeah. Make time for people, your mom, call your brother you don't talk to, try to make a better relationship with your roommate, try to heal your relationship at work with your coworker you hate. Just like,

Be nice and make time for people and be sweet. You're on some wholesome love shit lately. Yeah, because none of this shit matters. That light doesn't matter. This couch doesn't matter. But you and I having fun today is the reason we're here. Absolutely. These people are watching not because of the incredible quality microphones and lighting, but because you and I are connecting and that's fun and magical.

I feel like they're part of it. It absolutely is. I'm on the same thing. I really just want to connect and have fun and be my, my joy. I'm like trying to have joy. That's it. Yeah. That's all I want. You can have it. I can, you can have it too. I literally love you to death. I love you. I'm so happy to be here. Please have me back again. I'll have you back. What are you doing tomorrow?

Oh gosh, I got to do Podstuff with Kati tomorrow. I'm actually going to do it with her later. Fuck, today? Yeah. She and I have some pre-taping to do tomorrow. And then San Diego on Friday, I'm DJing for a fundraiser in San Diego. Do you want to tell people where to find you? I'm pretty much everywhere at Trixie Mattel and on YouTube at Trixie. And what I would invite you all, when does this come out?

Probably the next couple weeks, like two, three weeks. Oh, great. It's a little early, but our holiday collection at Trixie Cosmetics this year is so cute. Y'all are going to die. And it's a really giftable item, so check it out. Hell yeah. I love it. I love you. Thanks for being here. Thank you all. Goodbye. Trixie Mattel. What do you know? That was a Hate Gum podcast.