"Natalie Portman"
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It's good to be here. I have nothing. It turned out I thought that I had an open. Will thought he had a nice. Well, let's weigh in. But this is it. No, but this is it. Yeah, this is it. Welcome to the process. We're podcasting right now. We've got absolutely nothing. By the way, this is what we've got. We've got Bennett and Rob and Michael. Everybody say hi. Hi.

Yeah. We got the whole, all of us. Like a party in your ears. And we're trying to think of a way to start the show here before we get into the funny music. Let's take some calls. Is that right? Let's take some calls. Yeah. Something to feel, some suggestions. Let's pick up that line from Des Moines. That's on line three. Caller, welcome to Smartless. What's your question? Hello.

I just want to know how old you guys are. Okay, I am... Why'd you go fuck yourself? Okay, we lost that caller. We're picking up, oh, from Denton, Texas on line five. Good morning. Good morning. I love it when you talk about food. Yes. Good morning.

Welcome to Smartless.

Hi, guys. I think that this is our first chat and giggle of 2024. Well, we don't want to date the episode, but yes. Well, but I mean, for us personally, we won't listen or don't listen to this part. But I think, hey, Sean, well, this is our first of the year, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Happy New Year, guys. Oh, happy New Year. You guys look a full year older. Wait, what? Nothing. What did you guys do? Nothing.

How was your new year? Will took a lesson in socialism. No. Socializing? Socialization. Have you been enjoying your personal life? Shawnee, do you feel rested?

I'm just getting sick, I think, unless it's allergies. I don't know. Oh, it could be COVID. COVID's flying back. No, I tested. I tested. I don't have it. You had it before, right? I had it the first time ever a year ago, yeah. Yeah, I remember that. And Willie, you still haven't had it, right? No, I've never tested for it. I've never taken a test. Are you serious? No. What do you mean, am I serious? Of course I've taken a million tests. No, I've never tested positive. I've been, I've had the flu, but I've never tested positive. But I'm like, remember the summer we thought that maybe I had it?

uh yes when you guys were out in uh long island jb i love long wait who was i just talking to some

Somebody at the Globes the other night who has got a fancy house out in the Hamptons pretty close to yours. And they're like, oh, boy, every time I hear Annette call it Long Island, I'm trying to keep it real. Listen, Will, just admit it. You're doing real well. You've got a big-ass summer house.

You got six cars. You've got a bunch of gold bonds down in the Seychelles. He's got six bicycles. Did I tell you this? I think so. Last summer, the summer before I was pulling into the Sag Harbor and I was in my...

GMC pickup. It says Sierra AT4X, by the way. Okay. Don't drop down. Don't drop down. And you're trying to keep it real by saying you're driving a pickup truck, but let's be clear, it was a freebie because you are the voice of GMC. Well, it's been over 25 years. It's been over 25 years that I've been the voice of GMC trucks featuring the GMC Sierra with the six-function multi-tool tailgate. So,

So anyway, this guy comes up to me as I'm putting Denny in his car seat and goes, oh, you really do have a GMC? And I go, what, man? I don't know the guy. It was pretty absurd. But, uh...

Jason. Wait, Sean, so you think that you're getting sick? Well, I had an endoscopy yesterday. What is that? You had a colonoscopy yesterday? No, endoscopy. Is that above the belt or below the belt? That's above the belt. So I don't know if my throat is sore because there's something shoved down it. Well, of course. Careful with the jokes right now. It's very early in the show. No, Sean's talking about going to a place where he paid money to have somebody stick something down his throat. And then he got an endoscopy. Oh.

By the way, I can't even believe I walked right in. You sure did. That's what he said. What did this fella tell you was the problem? And he claimed he was a doctor. Did you check his credentials, by the way? By the way, he's the best doctor in the world, Dr. Trazon at Cedars. Oh, here we go. And wait, and Jay's going to love this. I had my... Oh, where's my Invisalign? Oh, let's wait for Invisalign. Funny, it's hard to find the Invisalign.

I had it on. You should just paint a stripe on it so you stop losing it. Don't put in your Invisalign for the podcast thing. No, I have to. I have to keep it wearing. No, you don't. No, I do. I have to keep it on. He's got to wear it all the time. He's got to do the same thing. Anyway, so his name is Dr. Trezon. And I said, he goes, do you have anything metal in you? Do you have anything blah, blah, blah? You're all good. I said, no, I just have my plastic, you know, teeth lining thing. I guess I go, I guess you could say I have my trays on.

Oh my God. Yeah, it's really good. Did he think you were flirting? No, no, no. No, but he was so sick of me making jokes. I just made bad joke after bad joke. And I was sitting there. Have you had an endoscopy with the thing down your throat? I did it at the same time that I got my colonoscopy. Yeah, so they put you like... I did. Yeah, you did. They used the same tool. They used the same tool. Yeah.

Are they offering a twofer right now? It's the best time to do it. You're already out. The devil lies in the sequencing. You'd really want to do the endoscopy first. Is that correct? I guess. So I had this thing. They make you bite down on this thing, on your mouth, to keep your mouth open, right? Sure.

And so they can stick the camera down there. And so I'm sitting on my side with pillows, you know, in a gown with this fan. And I said, bad joke after bad joke, I go, I haven't been like this since college or something like that. And he goes way in the back of the room, he goes, yeah, we're probably going to want to stop talking for a little bit. Yeah, he's had it with you. He's totally had it with you. He's the best doctor. He couldn't get that propofol. He's like, double the propofol. Let's get this guy under.

How good is that? How great is that when you wake up from that propofol nap? Oh, my God. That little twilight. You're just like, I've never felt so good in my life. Yeah, I get real chippy. I got a bunch of jokes for the doctor. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You just, I can't stop cracking jokes. But the thing is, you come out of that thing and you feel light. You haven't eaten for 24 hours. Right. And you feel rested. You've just had a 45-hour-long nap. To quote somebody, the likes of which have never been seen. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Oh, God. Okay, sorry. Okay, that's it. Ten minutes of patter. Let's please get to our guest today. You fucking wrote down ten minutes of patter, too. No, I just looked up there.

Ten minutes of batter. Today we have with us a seasoned... Talk to people. We have a seasoned veteran of the industry. Oh. But she's not old. Uh-oh. She has an Ivy League education with a degree in psychology, but she's never practiced. Oh, gotcha. She is incredibly funny and can light up a room with her smile and her warmth, but she's known as one of our best dramatic actors.

She's been a major movie star for over 30 years, but it has always been second to her interest in academics and activism. She's got an Academy Award, a couple of Globes, countless nominations. She can even explain the Middle East to you or sell you some perfume. And Sean, she can even swing a lightsaber. Gang? Wow. What? Natalie Portman. What? Got it. No, is it really? I knew it. Good morning. I knew it. Hi.

Oh, my God. You guys. Yeah? Literally, as I revealed myself, I got a thing on my computer that says, low battery. You're back to sleep soon. Yeah. One minute. Excuse me. One minute. She's grabbing for the cord. Oh, yeah. Go get it.

All right, so Sean, here's a little... Okay, guys, Sean, okay. You better watch it on the Star Wars stuff. She doesn't want to talk about Star Wars, okay? Don't say Star Trek. I got shit for giving you shit with the Adam Driver episode, but now... And keep Scotty out of this fucking interview, all right? And don't start calling him like, Scotty's got a question for you from down deep. Do the planet Trigulon actually have... She's putting on her headphones again. She's coming back on, tightening up. Hi, Natalie. Hi.

- Look who's back. - Hi. - Are you all plugged in? - We weren't talking about you. - I'm gonna do a whole move over my window. - We're changing the background. - Oh, it's so pretty. - Yeah, what we're exposing here is a very nice Zoom room she's created at the house. - Is it a nice Zoom room? - Yeah, you got a nice flair going. - Beautiful flair coming in. - Oh, there she goes. - We lost her. - And we've lost connection. All right.

All right, stand by, John. Good till there, as Jason would say, good till there. That was great. Good till there. Every time, by the way, every time we're on Arrested Development, we'd go, and action, and somebody would go up and go, right as we started, Jason would always go, good till there. Good till there.

Robbie, we lost her on. Yeah, yeah. That's probably the battery just cut. So it's going to be a second, guys. The battery just cut. Yeah, battery just cut. If you want to keep chatting, you can, but we're probably going to need her walk her through tech, so. All right, we're back. Do you hear us, Natalie?

- I do. - Fantastic. - Oh, we do too. - One last thing. It sounds a little bit more echoey in this room. Do you mind just pulling the mic a little closer, maybe just a little higher if you have like some books on the desk to put it on? - All right, that's not better. I'm really sorry, y'all. - No, no, no. Zero problem. - But are we gonna title this episode "How Dare You, Natalie Portman?" Is that true? We're not gonna do that. - We workshopped that while you were gone, Natalie. I just don't think it's sticking. - We're rolling, guys.

Not a problem. Okay, so we lost you for a second, but it was just like driving over a canyon, and here you're right back. Yeah. Oh, Natalie. Hi, Bateman. Hello there. Good morning. Oh, I love she called him Bateman. Yeah. Well, you know, we've worked together, so we can do last names. I can even go her slag, you know? Have you? Good name. Me too. We did a movie in which we had the same hairdo. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. That's right. So this was a family movie called Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. Oh, yes. I read that script. Did you really? Yeah. It was a great script. Zach Helm, what a writer. It was a good script, yeah. And Dustin Hoffman was in it. We had a great time with him. We were in, where were we, Vancouver? Toronto. In Toronto. That's the same thing, right, Will? Vancouver, Toronto, kind of the same? First of all, how dare you say Vancouver, Toronto, same thing.

How fucking dare you? You're not kidding. The people of Toronto loathe you. Wait, when did this movie come out? This was, was it 90s or 2000s?

2006, 2007, something like that. Boy, it's just, how are you with dates? Arnette's just incredible with it. I swear to you, I have no, I can't tell the difference between '97 and '07. I just, I have no idea what's going on between the two. I'm with you. Yeah. This year, like if it was 2014, I would be like, uh-huh, it's 2014, yeah. Natalie, where are you right now? I'm in Los Angeles. Oh, you are, okay.

Very good. Yes. I didn't get to run into you the other night. We were at the Swanky Globes. Yeah. And you were amazing up on stage. What about doing the presenting stuff? How do you like that? There's always some patter, some little quippy joke you got to do, and it's so stressful. I never like it. What about you? I was very lucky that they didn't try and make me do anything like,

funny, quirky. - Right. - We just kind of said the nominees. - Yeah, banter stuff. - 'Cause I get really uncomfortable with that. - Yeah, that's the best, that's the safest way to go because some people who try to do something that they don't feel comfortable, it shows, right? - Yeah, I once had to carry Aziz Ansari out on stage at Golden Globes once. That was part of our bit. I don't remember what followed that, but I just remember carrying him out and like literally smelling my SAG card burning in my back pocket.

I just felt like, oh, it's over. There it is. What year was that, Jason? I'll forget it. Moving on. So, so, he doesn't know. He doesn't know. Natalie Portman, my God, it's so great to have you here. It is. I mean, where do we even start with? Oh, I've got a series of questions if you want me to start. I've done some prep.

The last time I saw you, Natalie, I was interviewing as the guest host of the Jimmy Kimmel show. -Yes! That was not so long ago. -And it was super fun. I know. It was like a year ago. Wait, wait. So you were the guest and Sean was the host? -Yeah. -Come on. -Yes. -Yeah. And how hard was it masking the disappointment that Jimmy wasn't there for the entire-- Well, she's got skills. She's got an award to prove it. It was a delight.

It was wonderful. It was for Thor. And if you remember, Scotty, my husband, did some bit with you. He was dressed as Thor in the audience. It was great. Oh, what a highlight for Natalie. Jesus Christ. You were probably like, oh, God, I got to do a bit. I think about it often. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Do you remember your questions? Do you remember your questions for her, Sean, at all? Oh, God, I don't.

I don't. I was enamored. I'm enamored. I'm such a massive fan. Thank you. And so many things you've done. She's the goods. I think you asked me about how I got my muscles for Thor. Oh, yeah. How did you get your muscles? Tell us. We didn't see the episode. CG. No, really? CG, yeah. No, I don't buy it. You trained. Well, didn't you like... I worked out, but... Yeah, you didn't have Thor level. Well, they made me 6'4".

Which is pretty great to know that that's possible. Yeah. Yes.

Now, that reminds me, during my incredible research for this, when you did Black Swan, you went, now you studied ballet when you were a kid, but you did like six months of training for that, I want to say? Yeah, it was actually almost a year of training. And yeah, it was really fun. Because you had to or you wanted to? Like, what kind of actor are you? Do you love to do the research or do you just like to kind of wing it? Yeah.

I think it depends what the research is. I mean, if I'm lucky enough to get to work on something that I want to learn all the stuff, that's the most fun. Like Jackie, that was a huge responsibility. You had to study, study, study and make sure you got that as accurate as possible. Yeah, that's super scary. Have you played real people before? No, I'm too much of a coward. I'd say no to all of it. I mean, even things that are even...

-Close, although in air I played a real guy, but no one has any tape on him, so I could just kind of do whatever I wanted to do. -You do a real great impression of your uncle too, right, that nobody knows. -Yeah. Including me. -He doesn't even know who he is. How do you expect him to play another person? -I feel like we kind of glided over that too quickly. -His name is John, and he's a fantastic man.

Remember Pete Serafinowicz did that thing years ago where he did 50 impressions in under a minute and they were all of fictitious people, which is the best. We'll be right back. And now back to the show.

I want to ask just a question about the Globes again, about the award shows in general. Because you look so, I love your dress on the Golden Globes. Thank you. It's beautiful. And do you like, do you like, it's a common question, but do you like the dress up and all of that as far as Globes? Or would you like, you know what, I'd do it, but I'd rather be home in my sweats. Or do you enjoy it?

You know, I used to think it was kind of oppressive and like, why do women have to spend all this time in discomfort? And, you know, the men get to like roll out of bed and wear something they're warming and like aren't, you know.

sucking in their stomachs or whatever. And now having kids, I feel like it's a pretty, it's pretty fun to like have people like make you feel good and... - Yeah. - And go glam. - Go glam after you're just like... - I don't think you own sweats.

I own so many sweats. Do you really? Yeah, and I really kind of only wear them in real life, which has been, we moved to Paris last year, and you really can't wear sweats in Paris. You do get kicked out of the country. Mm-hmm. You just get your visa taken away. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you live in Paris now? I live in Paris now, yeah. Wow. Yeah. What a switch. Yeah, it's a really different lifestyle. Now, how many languages do you know?

- I speak Hebrew and English, obviously English. And my French is like fine. Like I can do everything I need to do. It's just not grammatically correct or sophisticated in any way. - That's okay. At least they're not judgy. - Did you know any of it before you moved there?

Yeah, I took it in high school. But like how many years? I took it in high school too, but I can't. Yeah, I took it like four years. Well, that's good. Yeah. You didn't do it like I did where you take French 1 and French 2 twice because the first time you took them, it didn't count towards your credits. And then I was like, oh, you know what? Now that it's credits, I'll just take the two years that I already know so that my class is easy. That's... A dumb guy. That's smart. Yeah. It's a complicated language. It is. Why...

Will, you know it fluently, don't you? I do speak a lot of French, yeah. But I don't want to... Listen, it's not here for me to show off. Ask her a question in French. No, no, no. Yeah, I want to hear that. Let's hear it. Alors, vous habitez où à Paris? Oh, j'habite au 7e. Ah, d'accord. She lives in the 7th arrondissement, oui.

But when you come back to L.A., do you do you love L.A.? Because I feel like I don't love L.A. when I'm here. But when I come back here, I'm like, oh, I'm just used to it here. I'm I'm used to a good thing here. And I'm reminded how much I really do enjoy this city. I do love L.A. I mean, I I I love L.A. because I feel like you like discover it, you know, like there's.

It's not an obvious city. Yeah, because you're always driving. Yeah, but, like, you have to, like, find the good stuff. You know, like, a city like Paris or New York, like, announces itself. Like, you can just... Here, you've got to kind of, like, search and find the good stuff.

Good, interesting stuff. And there's lots of it. You're like, oh, I've been driving by that cool little restaurant my whole life and I never stop. Have you ever been to the Huntington Gardens in Pasadena? I was there yesterday. You're kidding. Don't you love that place? My favorite place in the city. Yeah, mine too. Wait, I've never been. Will you guys take me? Yes.

Yeah. And I'm kind of a garden nut. You've never been? Oh, my God, Jay. That's so exciting. You're going to have, like, the best discovery. Wait, don't you think that's weird that you just said that and I brought up the garden? That's wild. Jay, don't sell yourself short. You're not a garden nut. You're just a nut. Yeah, that's true. Many different nuts. But what...

Hunting gardens are beautiful. Do they have a Japanese garden there? Because I may have been there to look at that. They do. And wait, what's the... No, truly, because there was a moment where I was so into a Japanese garden that I went to go look at a few. And there's one at UCLA I went and looked at. And then maybe it was the Huntington Gardens, the other one. What's the...

Chris Farley, Beverly Hills Ninja. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember that? Yeah, sure. Shot at the Japanese garden when they go to Japan. Really? It's just the Huntington Gardens. No way. No way. It's important. Just maybe have her rewatch before you go. I will. I'll brush up. But I sometimes, Natalie, I sometimes go there alone just because I love it.

I love walking around. It's the best place in the city. I know. There's so much. The desert garden is like walking on the moon. And then you know what I do afterwards? I go to the pie and burger for a burger and a piece of pie. Clever. Only a few blocks away. Call me before you do these semi-suicidal walkabouts. You know, I'll walk with you. Okay, come. I'd love it. I would love it. It's so peaceful and beautiful. Sean, what do you think about...

What do I think about what? When you're walking through the garden. What you're going to have on the burger. What kind of pie.

What is your go-to pie, Sean? I think about Natalie Portman. I think about what she's doing right now. Thank you. Why aren't we calling together? Yeah, we should do this together. Yeah, I would love it. It's so fun. Sean, Jason, how great would it be to be walking in the Japanese Garden and Huntington Garden and run into Sean and Natalie walking? Holding hands, walking through the Japanese Garden. Arm in arm. I would look around for where is the camera. What are you guys shooting? Yeah, right. Sure. Sure.

All right, Natalie, let's get into the teeth of this interview here. God, it's going to be hard hitting. Let's see here. It's all on Wikipedia. No, what, what, what, what? Because mom nor dad were into the business, right? No, dad's a fertility doctor. Oh, yeah, yeah. Mom's a painter. Right. Did you see, did you see Our Father? No. Uh-oh. What?

Is that like one of those bad fertility doctors? Oh, no. That's not your dad. I'm just saying it's a really interesting documentary. I remember there was a TV movie when I was...

where everyone, they realized that the fertility doctor was like messed up because everyone had the eye patches at the playground. Yeah. And they realized that there was like one genetic donor for all of the children in the neighborhood. So all the kids had eye patches. Oh. Oh.

Anyway, nightmare. Wow. So what was it? Well, wait. So you're minding your own business.

Somebody saw you in a store or something. They said, hey, do you want to be a kid model? You were like, no, but you did think, well, maybe I'll go get an agent and start doing commercials maybe. Jason, you know so much about me. But that's not accurate, right? It's like kind of I'm around the facts, but not really nailing them. Yeah, no, I really liked them. I was 10 years old. Yes. And I like...

I'm from Long Island. I'm from the real Long Island. Not out there where all you elites are, are not. I never went to the Hamptons until I was like 35. Me neither. Johnny Range Rover. Me neither. By the way, for what it's worth. I grew up in like the mall. Yeah. And yeah, a lot of kids I grew up with were like auditioning and doing commercials and stuff to make money for college.

And I told my parents, like, I want to do that too. And they were very reluctant because they are just like, you know, kids who are actors end up

Yeah. Like Jason. Robin liquor stores. Yeah. Like me. End up in trouble. Yeah. Look at him. The golf addiction. And, yeah. And I convinced them to let me. And then they let me. But it was purely to finance a future education. Like, it wasn't, you didn't have, like, some, like. Not even. It was just because I wanted to. I mean, my dad, my dad, like, insisted on paying for my college and stuff anyway. So, it was just really fun for me. And, yeah.

And did you start selling cereal? I never got commercials. I always tried out. Wow. Really? But I never got anything of the children's things. I just got straight into the professional. That was number one. That was Luc Besson, right? Wait, was that your first job? That was my first job. No way. Yeah. Yeah.

I did one. I was an understudy in an off-Broadway musical before that. What was it? That was my one thing. It was called Ruthless. Wait, and you want to know who else was cast as the understudy in that? Lindsay Lohan. No. Correct? No. You're close. Sorry, Britney Spears. Britney Spears. No way. Britney Spears was the under... I took over for her. No way. When I was 10. And then I got...

That's crazy. I didn't know that. Have you seen her since? So wait, so you were 11 when you did The Professional? I was 11. I turned 12 while we were shooting. Oh, my God. That is so crazy. So you've seen Britney Spears since? Yes. And you guys did a little high five about, look how far we've come. We did. We did. We threw a New Year's party together when we were 18.

- No way. - Oh, wow. That's cool. - Yes, way. - Hang on a second. That sounds like a good party. - It was a good party. - You guys at 18, that must have been like-- - Maybe '99? 1999? - Good. - It must have been an enormous party. Was it huge, that party? - It was a good party. - What month? - What month? - What month was-- - What month's your birthday? - Oh, my birthday is June.

I thought you were asking what month they had their New Year's party in. Oh, it was New Year's. I thought you said it was birthday party. -It was a New Year's party? -It was a New Year's party. Okay, so '99. Okay. I used to love throwing parties. Right? Remember parties? Remember when we used to throw parties? Now the only parties we throw is for the kids. -Yep. -That's it. Bouncy houses. Yeah. Were you worried at all when you became a young actor and you're doing the professional, your first film job, which is insane, still insane to me,

Were you worried that you would end up at certain... Were your parents worried that you'd end up like on a camping trip on...

on, you know, mountain bikes with Leif Garrett. Like, did that ever, like, was that a concern for you? Like, that would be... He's taking a shot at my trajectory. By the way, that was a fun trip. It was a fun trip. I know. But were your parents legitimately worried? Did they think, like, oh, this is going to peel you away from work, from school, rather, I mean, not work, but from school and that kind of thing? Is that what it was? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, they were very concerned. They would, I mean, my mom was like with me all the time and made sure that no one got near me. And yeah, and I wasn't allowed to miss school. So I always was shooting on like vacations, but

And then, yeah, when I went to college, my dad was like, okay, that was cute. Time to move on. Really? Let's find another job, a real job. And then when you majored in psychology, was that because that was the occupation that you wanted to go into? Or was it just like, no, this is something that I'm interested in? Yeah, I feel like it was more like most people who study psychology, which is like...

I want to know why I'm crazy. Yeah. Right, right, right. I'm fascinated by it. I wish I'd studied that. Yeah. I'd have some answers. I don't know, but don't you think like acting and the thing that we do is kind of a form of psychology? Totally. You know, because it's the study of human behavior. That's all we do. It is very similar. Did you have a specific...

Role model, mentor, ideal when you did take the time off kind of when you went to school? And the one that comes to mind potentially is Jodie Foster. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, Jodie Foster was definitely. Did you ever talk to her about it? You know, I talked to her much later, which was amazing. I did a speech at a women's march about being like,

sexualized as a as a young actress and and she reached out to me after that and we like talked and it was amazing and she's just she's yeah she's still a role model um but uh she's pretty cool yeah and now are you are you also like um just going back to the whole comment that you said about this being sexualized as a as a young actress and

How awful that must be. Do you now have all these years having worked in the business, do you recognize a personality when they walk into the room as a dangerous one? Now that you have been around it for so long, you're like, you know what, I can see that man or woman coming towards me or we're going to work together or maybe something else. And you recognize it. So you've learned to adjust or how to deal with that. No.

No, no, I haven't. It's perfect. I feel like it's still surprising that it exists. But yeah,

Yeah, but I feel like that kind of like projection of seriousness protected me in a way because I feel like it was almost like a warning signal, like, oh, don't do shit to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she'll sniff you out and call you out. Not that anyone ever like, you know, deserves it or is asking for it, but like you can, you know, I felt like that was my conscious way, unconscious way of doing it. But with people...

Yeah, I feel like the biggest sign is when people talk shit about women. I'm like, if they talk shit about anyone, even if they're just like, oh, she's really difficult or she's, I'm like, that's like a flag for me. I'm like, there's more to that story. And when I walk away, what are they going to say about me? Yeah, like there's, yeah, talking shit in general. Yeah, that makes sense. And now, a word from our sponsor. All right, back to the show.

You want to get to Star Wars, Sean? No, I'm not going to. I was going to apologize in advance and then say, Natalie, we're really sorry, but Sean has some shit that he needs to get up to. No, no, that's okay. It has to do with the planet Voltron or whatever. No, no, no. You know how much I love you and I love everything you've done. So I just will say like a blanket statement about Star Wars and the Marvel Universe and any kind of big movie that you're a part of,

Because I grew up in Chicago with big dreams of going out to L.A. and working as an actor. And so you get here, and I still have...

that awe of like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm on a lot. I can't believe I'm on a set. I can't, like, it's never goes away. And so my question to you is like, having grown up in it and Jason too, when you're a part of Star Wars or the Marvel universe or whatever it is, are you still at all? I like me, a little kid from Chicago is like, I can't believe it. Or are you just like, I got this job. Here's the work. I'm going to show up on time and do my job. Do you know what I mean? Do you, can you separate it at all? Or are you still in awe?

I'm pretty in awe. Like, when I got to... I feel like it was luckier to do the last Thor because it was... Like, I have done so much now that I can...

understand how different it is. Like the technology and stuff makes me amazed. And also having kids now, getting to bring my kids to the set and like, you know, they get to fly on wires and watch me fly. How old are they? I have a 12-year-old and a six-year-old. 30 and 40. No, I'm kidding. 12 and six, is that what you said? Perfect. Love it. Yeah.

Yeah, so now they're starting to... Well, does that... Do you think about them when you consider parts too? Like, oh, this one I'm going to get major cred for, for them. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, main consideration is what they'll think. Yeah. Was there... Who in the room at the Globes do you think a selfie with would have given you the best points with your 12-year-old? I mean, would it have been Taylor? No, my 12-year-old's a boy. Yeah.

I'm like, there were no soccer players in that room. - Yeah, right. - He's a big soccer fan? - Oh, Matt. - Hang on, who's his team? - He loves Real Madrid and he loves Arsenal.

Really? And PSG, of course. Of course, PSG. Sure, sure. And he loves Mbappe. Sure, sure, sure. Mbappe might go to real... And Angel City here, of course. Yeah. Sure, sure. Oh, right. Wait, you're part of Angel City. She's a part owner in a soccer team, Willie. Yes, I know that. That's right. Women's soccer, right? I'm a huge... Yes. You're a huge soccer fan? Massive. I'm a massive Liverpool supporter. Liverpool. Liverpool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I watch every... But I... But... And there's... I don't want to get into Mbappe. Maybe go to Liverpool or Real Madrid. Is that right? Yeah, yeah. That's what the word is yesterday, according to Sky Sports. Oh, man. I hope not. Hope not for us in Paris. I'm like your 12-year-old. Like, I... For me, it's about... It's about athletes. Like, if somebody... You know, you meet all these people, but then you see an athlete and you're like, oh, my God.

I don't want to talk. How do I, what would I say if he talks to me? You know, I got to meet Juergen Klopp, who's the manager of Liverpool, and I nearly cried. Um...

That was recent too, and I'm over 50. I got like that at the Globes. I was like, you know, all those famous people. And there's Neil Katyal, who's like our old solicitor general, right? I got as tongue-tied as I am right now talking to him. Who is that?

He's just a real smart lawyer that is on MSNBC all the time. He's argued lots of big cases in front of the Supreme Court. Yeah, that's really cool. I could have those people for hours. And it's all I wanted to talk to him. Okay. Yeah.

All right, moving on. Oh, but you will be excited about this Star Wars story from the Globes. I met Mark Hamill for my first time at the Globes. For the first time? Are you kidding me? First time. No way. And he called me his mother. He was like...

Wait a minute. So glad to meet my mother finally. Wow. Wait, I can't believe you didn't meet him before that. Never. But why? Wouldn't he have been like a consultant on Phantom Menace and all those other ones? No. He never, they never brought him around and I never.

I never... That's why I would have... Did somebody get a photo of that? We got a photo. His daughter took a picture of us together. That's amazing. No way. Oh, shit. Shit, I gotta get that. That's her next... That's her next appointment. Yo. That's crazy that she met him for the first time. Yeah, I wonder if anybody... Okay. This is...

It's a UPS delivery, guys. And do you tell them to just leave it there? Do you want to sign for it? I think they can just leave it. This is a sign only? Okay. That's so crazy that you know. So then you met Mark Hamill. What if the guy was like, hello, med men, we're here with your cannabis. We have the whole truck. Where do you want us to put it? Your high-powered weed, your stinky butt is here. Fuck.

So no one got a shot of Luke with his mother except... No, they did. Somebody did. No, no, but just Luke's daughter, right? There wasn't like any media that got a shot of that? No media. Wow, that's like a money shot, man. Wow. Now, talk to me about directing. Do you love it as much as acting? Do you love it more, less? I...

do love it. I think I love both things and I feel like it changes the way I act after, yeah, after directing makes me go back. I try and do more different options because I feel like

I was always trying to like hone my performance, like do the same thing just better each time. And then when I had to watch myself back in the editing room, I was like, it's the same thing over and over again. Like I want a choice. So then I was like, so now I try and like do different things so a director in the editing room can be like,

But then you've only got one take of you doing that particular choice. You don't have seven good versions of that choice, you know, that you can play with in any room. Yeah, I mean, you can try and get that, like, main choice when you get the camera work and acting right, and then... Oh. Do it again. This is now the code. Forgot to drop out the lighters. We have to get rid of your lighters. So... Wait, let's listen, let's listen.

Okay. Yeah, go. You gotta go side. I called it. This is fantastic. This is the best. This is the best.

Hi. Welcome, hi. You guys, I need to fix my life. Any pointers? I'll be over at noon. You might need a house manager that can cover IT and deliveries. Great. Awesome. I like you keeping it real. We love the little pauses. Now listen, speaking of take after take after take, May, December, you're so brilliant in that movie. As always. I'm going to jump all around with the movie because it was fascinating. And the...

You know, the very last scene, hopefully, spoiler alert, stop listening if you haven't seen the movie, but the very last scene, were you, as the actress within the movie, the part doing take after take after take, that was so interesting. So what was going through your mind? That must have been, like, so surreal for you to have what we were just talking about, being a director and an actor, and then doing that. Well, it was really, yeah, that last take, I mean, that last scene was very...

I didn't really realize while I was reading it that there was going to be like a 17-year-old kid in the scene. And all of a sudden, it gets to set and there's this actor and like his mom. And I'm like, oh. And then there's like a snake, like a real snake. And I was like, didn't think about that either. And I was just like, oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was written that you do take after take, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was written that way. So that's what I was thinking about. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the whole tone of the movie too, like when the first, in the first,

I think it was the first music cue when she goes to the fridge and she opens the door and there's this push in with the music. I was like, wait, what? What's going on? And then you're along for the ride and it was so fantastic. And the one scene that you should win every award for, and I'm sure everybody comments on it, so I'm sorry, is the monologue straight to camera. One take, it was just a class in like,

a master class in acting and the craft and everything. It was just perfection. Is Todd Haynes as stunning as I think he is? I love him. I love him. He's, I mean, like you were saying, the music choice guy.

on that refrigerator scene is like so key to like let everyone know that it's okay to laugh, you know? - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause you're kind of not sure and then it's such a tension release and he's just the most brilliant. I love him so, and he's really awesome person too, so. - But like think about all the incredible directors that you've worked with. It does set you up to be like an incredible director 'cause you can just cherry pick from all of them

and, you know, toss out all the stuff that you don't like. Like, it's why I'm amazed more actors are... Well, you've had that too, right? Well, I haven't worked with the level of directors that you have. Your first film you ever did was with Luc Besson. I mean, that's insane. I was very lucky. I was very lucky. What a way to start. But it's a real time suck and, you know... Directing? Yeah, I mean, you know, he got all the prep, the shooting and the post instead of just the shooting part.

But needless to say, more to come from you with directing? I intend to, yes. Yeah? Yeah, actively working on it. What about you? I would love to. She's gone. Bye. She's gone.

Hey, listener. Well, it looks like we lost Natalie for the final time, and we decided that we weren't going to call her back. Right, guys? We're not going to torture her anymore with... She's clearly having some Wi-Fi issues, but we got more than enough from the incredible Natalie Portman. And, I mean...

She's uh, she's she's she's just amazing. I just a powerhouse. Yeah at all I mean, I wish she's a mom. She's a mom. She's an actor an activist a director a Harvard grad. Yeah, she's just like the nicest funniest person. I wish you guys could both work with her She said she's such a mega, you know, I use it sometimes she's one of those people she falls into the mega talent category and You know and she's everything she does is

Everything, she's never been bad. Never been bad. Always been classy. Yeah. Never gotten all, you know, tangled up in the nonsense of this business. No. Don't you think it's weird that she was talking about discovering places in Los Angeles and the one place I say she was just there yesterday? Don't you think that's weird? Yeah. You think she's lying?

What? What are you accusing her of? No, I'm saying, like, that's so wild that I called that out. I'm just kidding. Of course, yeah. It's bonkers. So, Jay, I'll take you to the Huntington Gardens. You will? You get the sense, Jay. You know what I like to do is that you get the sense that you're... And you've done an admirable job considering that you've not only grew up doing this stuff, but that you still stayed living here and this was your life and that you ended up quasi-normal. And that she...

She's done it in a way that like she was very insulated by it by going back to school and like we're continuing with her studies and going to going to college and I mean she seems to have held on to this kind of like This sort of sane Center that she has that that's what she read, you know She says that she projects like a serious friend. It's not that she projected she projects this person who seems very centered and and has a and has a solid

Yeah, she's self-contained. It doesn't seem like she needs anything from this business to become fully formed. Well, you don't need to be validated by what you do. First of all, we've talked about this before. But certainly by this business,

Forget any business, but certainly ours. If you need that to make yourself feel better, you're fucked. Yeah. Totally fucked. She's one of the great ones. It's wild that she lived in Paris and here, which means she's...

Bye. Coastal. Paris, not on a coast, in a different country. Bye. Bye, continental. Country. Bye, continental. Bye, country. Bye. Smart. Wives. Smart. Wives.

SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarv, and Bennett Barbico. SmartLess. If you like SmartLess, you can listen early and add free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.