One night a few months ago Elaine got a phone call out of the blue from a co-worker. She and her 12-year old daughter had checked herself into a hotel after she was beaten by husband. Elaine took her co-worker to the hospital and encouraged her to leave her husband, but a couple weeks later she was back at home. Now Elaine can’t stop worrying about her friend and wondering if (and how) she should help. On this episode of How To!, we’re joined by Suzanne Dubus, advocate, survivor and CEO of the Jeanne Geiger Crisis Center. Suzanne says one in five women (and one in seven men) will be the victims of severe physical violence during their lifetime. She understands all too well why it takes so long for victims of domestic violence to leave their abusers, and gives us some practical advice for what to do if we ever find ourselves in Elaine’s shoes.

If you or someone you love is struggling with intimate partner violence, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s website or call 1-800-799-SAFE.

If you liked this episode, check out “How To Say the Right Thing at the Worst Time.”

Do you have a question with no easy answers? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

This episode is supported by Work Check, an original podcast from Atlassian.

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How To!: Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship 36:40 Share

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How To!: Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship