WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?! | EP 343 | ShxtsNGigs Podcast
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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. This episode is brought to you by Hulu. Hulu Anime Ahem is your animation destination to watch full seasons and new episodes of your favorite animated shows. Get ready to be bowled over, have your socks knocked off,

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Crapopolis, and so many more. That's right, guys. If you're looking for your favorite animated shows, there's only one destination you need to remember. Hulu Anime Mayhem, your animation destination, now streaming on Hulu. I found you, man. In my head, I was rocking his jaw. In my head, I was doing all sorts. And I remember just, I couldn't look up. I don't remember being like, I'm not a man!

So guys, right. Usually what happens here is Fuhad will tell you that he's a selfish lover. He's going to draw the things to the side and he's going to slide it. Yeah, he's going to have his way. But not today. Not today. Today we're going to mix it up and we're going to start the episode by telling you something so big.

so incredibly stupidly important and huge that you have to shut up and listen. - Pay attention guys. - Pay attention, sit on the edge of your seats. - Listen. - Edge of your beds. If it was a Netflix and chill ting, stop the lips. - Facts, focus. - Yeah, focus bro. Focus, focus, focus, right.

I'm gonna let the... I'm gonna let it sink in. This is where people just turn off. Yeah. Because they can't be bothered with this bullshit. Yeah. Right, guys. So, your boys have a show to announce. We have a massive show to announce. So, next year... May. We are doing one show in the UK. One. For the whole year. Yeah. One show. Be there. This is your one shot. Facts. One opportunity. Hey. Okay? To come and see us live. And this show...

on May 26th, 2024, we'll be at the...

- O2 Arena. - Come on, you dump her. - O2 Arena. Nobody's doing it like we're doing it, guys. Nobody is doing it like we're doing it. Like Jimmy said, O2 Arena, massive venue. Your favorite duo are gonna be hosting the biggest you've ever had. - Pause. - Let's go, Danny. - So, guys. - It's gonna be amazing. - It's gonna be amazing. We're super, super excited. Like Friar said,

People just aren't doing stuff like this. - They're just not. - They're not living like this and not experiencing stuff like this. - So guys, the stuff you give us, the love and gratitude and you give us, we're gonna throw that back to you in this show. - Come on, man. - It's gonna be a one of one show like Jimmy said, the only show we are doing in the UK, May 26th, 2024. It's gonna be a bank holiday weekend. So make sure you grab your tickets, your flights, your hotels. We're giving you man enough warning, enough warning. - Yeah, bad warning guys. So right.

Let's lock in and get the dates and the tickets and all the boring info out of the way now so that we can gossip about it some more. Yes, sir. So guys, right. Listen up. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. If you are on Patreon, if you are on Patreon,

Your tickets drop tomorrow. They do. Pre-sale tickets, Tuesday, 28th, 10 a.m. UK time. Your tickets will be ready. With a second pre-sale. If you've missed the first drop, there's a second drop. Second pre-sale, they're on our website, shitsandgigs.co.uk. That's if you're on our mailing list. General sale.

Gen pop. Gen pop. Listen up. We love you too. Facts. Friday the 1st of December. Yeah, man. 10 a.m. Yeah, man. UK time, guys. Tickets.

grips them quick listen because yes this may be the most notorious arena in the entire country yes there's more than a few seats in there yes but tickets will go fast because it is literally the one and only show next year it's the biggest you've ever had pause and the tickets will dip they will fly off the shelf and don't

come to us in our DMs or in person to say, "Oh, daddies, we didn't get tickets." We've told you now and we're gonna tell you continuously for weeks and weeks and months and months. - On top of that, special guest Axel Blake will be performing with us as well. If you came to any of our shows this year, you know that the guy is sensational. - Facts. - And it's gonna pop. So now back to the gossip.

I'm gassed. Talk to me. About the show. Facts. I'm gassed because yeah, one, we get to take all this stuff. So for you guys, if you saw us on tour this year, you would have seen that obviously we like to play some games. We like to get everyone involved. We like to do all this kind of stuff. And we like to bring as much production as possible. Obviously, as you guys, I'm sure have common sense, bigger venue,

Bigger production. Bigger production. So this production's going to be disgusting. Yep. So as we had mentioned earlier, obviously all the love, all the vibes that you guys give us, this is opportunity for us to give back to you. We're not even joking when we say this, all the money, the entire pot that we make from this show, we are putting into production. Facts.

All of it. - That's on God. - That's on God. - That's on God. - So yeah, this is a give back thing. Pro bono. Do you have to pay for tickets? Yeah, you do. - Unfortunately. - That's 'cause the O2's expensive. - Yeah. - And fireworks are expensive. - Facts. - Yeah. Fire dancers are expensive too. - Confetti's expensive. - Yeah. - Yeah. Who would've thought? - That's what I'm saying, bro. Live bands are expensive.

Trapeze artists are expensive, bro. We're giving out Easter eggs. Elephants are expensive, bro. Easter eggs, guys. Come on, man. You don't want to miss out on this. You really don't want to miss out on this quote-unquote circus act. Yeah. So just make sure you're there. And these days, getting Ellis...

to drop a verse. It's expensive. It actually is expensive. It's expensive. These things cost money, bro. They do. So, guys, please come to the show. It's going to be insane. If you are over in America and you're thinking, oh, another UK show, bro, this one is the one you want to make a trip for. Factual. Because I'm not saying we're never going to America. Not saying it.

but it's not gonna be as good as this one. This one's gonna be the biggest one we ever do. - Facts, this is gonna be the biggest show we've ever had. And it's the big biggest show you will ever see. So make sure you guys book a flight, book a flight, book a hotel from any country you're in, book a flight, book a hotel, make sure you've got that bank holiday weekend.

checked out and locked off in your diaries, your calendars, whatever it is to make sure you come and vibe with your boys at the O2, May 26th, 2024. - Let's sell out in like a day. - Let's, let's actually try to sell out in a day. - You know what, actually shut up. Let's actually just do that. - Let's actually sell out in a day guys. - Yeah. - Help us help you. - Yeah, you guys are doing some long thing.

- If you want to see us gas. - Facts. You guys have 24 hours to respond. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty certain Fiyad will lips me if we sell out on the first day. - Hey, you guys have 24 hours to respond. - He didn't deny it either. That's actually right. He didn't even deny it. - You guys have 24 hours to respond. - Heard it first. If we sell out on day one, Fiyad's gonna lips me. So anyway, back to the episode.

Right. So again, we're mixing stuff up today. I know if you had again, wants to yank it to the side, shove it in. Yeah. We're going to hold off on the IGQ today because we're in the same, we're in the same flow for too long. It's a bigger day, a bigger occasion. So we're just going to mix up the order. All right. So random. Hit me. Your boy's been watching MasterChef. Okay. They're professionals. Okay. And I've got a PSA. I'm gassed this year, you man, because I don't know if you, do you ever watch it?

Not really, but I know of the show. Yeah, everyone knows about it. Bro, I'm not going to lie to you. It's the same routine every year. Okay. Every year, people bop in, bop out. If you see a black chef rocking there. Yeah.

They're gonna do terribly. Every year you make. - Oh, I thought you were gonna say it's gonna do bits. - Nah. - Okay. - They do fucking terribly. And I'll tell you why, 'cause we're basic. They come in and then they're like, what? And then Greg Wallace will ask them, what's your inspiration? And I say, ah, I grew up with my mom making yam and plantain, my Caribbean roots.

- Yeah. - And they say, "What's your signature dish?" It's always fucking jerk chicken or something like that. And they always do the first dish. So they come in, do the skills test. And usually it's a bit, ah. - Okay. - Ah. - Okay. - It's a bit okay. So skills, do you know about the skills test? - No. - Fuck it. Oh, you man. Okay, let me put you one bro. This is what happens with the professionals. This is not the basics. Not the amateurs that come on our master here. This is the professionals. So what happens is they bop through the door and the first one they've got monocard,

Galetti is her surname? I can't remember. Who's like a famous chef. Then you've got Marcus Warren, who's a famous chef. And you've got Greg Wallace, who's the judge, right? So professionals, their first test, they call it the skills test. You have to bop in and these men will say, you've got 20 minutes to make what I tell you to make. Okay. So they come up with a recipe and it could be anything. They could say, I want you to do like a milk poached, smoked haddock with like,

fucking crispy crouton ball bullshit. And you just have to, with a cold tomato soup, your ingredients are there, figure it out. So they, everyone has the same ingredients. Everyone has the same ingredients. So you're in there by yourself.

And this one is one by one by one. So you're not there with everyone. Okay. That's what I was thinking. It's intimidating. No, no, no. You walk in and you say you got 20 minutes and they'll watch you. All three of them are just watching you by yourself. It's intimidating. I'm shaking. They always shake. All these men shake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the time, bro. They shake. So they come in and then...

Some of them pattern the skills test, some of them flop the skills test. A lot of time, most of them, white or black, Asian, whatever, they'll flop the skills test. - If you flop the skills test, are you out or you still move on to next round? - Nah, it's fine. It's just like, prove yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll say, bro, prove yourself in the next round. 'Cause that was shambolic. - Okay. - And you can usually get a good gauge if you're watching. Now, if you can get a good gauge who's just had a bad day in the skills test, but they're gonna pattern it in there. - Next round, yeah. - Or they are just shit. - Okay. - 'Cause sometimes they'll fumble the skills test, but their technique

that you can see they know what they're about. They were just flustered. They didn't know what to do. So anyway, my two ride or dies this year. So as I said, every year you'll have the black chefs come in and your fingers crossed. Come on, tell me you went to culinary college. Tell me you got some classic training. - Some. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me you're gonna bring some because everyone lets us down every year, bro. - Okay, is there always usually one like token?

So they have every week they go four rounds. So there's each year there's 32 chefs overall and they're split up into heats. And then every heat or every second heat, there'll be usually like one black person in there, a couple of Asian people, mostly white people. And then yeah, sometimes you might have a black person do okay in the skills test and you're like, oh, okay, okay, okay.

their signature dish, you want them to step outside of the Caribbean African stuff. Because you're like, just show you got range in it. But whenever they do do the normal, they're like heritage stuff, it always banks. 'Cause they've made it a hundred times before. So they always fly through the first round

But you're watching anything. The technical ability is not sky high right now. But you're flying through because these men have not tasted these flavors before. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Not gonna lie, we've had like three token blacks dashed out in the first round. Okay. For the exact reason I'm telling you. Okay. Then my first bae, Lauren, she rocks up. She smashed the skills test. And I was like, okay. Okay. Okay. Not bad. Then they go through to their signature thing. I can't remember what she did for her signature. Yeah. But it banged. Was it like...

standard like I think it had a mix I can't even remember what her signature dish was but it had a mix she flew through and I was like okay then where things get techy they have an invention test okay invention test is they'll give you a few ingredients or they give you a theme

and they'll be like, make something. You've got 70 minutes, make something out of like eggs, bread and something. And then they've got like a larder behind them with other ingredients. So it's like your other ingredients are there, but I need the dish to compose of these things. - So you got like Heston Blumenthal type. - Yes, exactly. - Cool, cool, cool. - This is where the melanin, he gets the best of us.

If you've made it to the invention test and you're not seeing spice rubs, these man panic. They panic. So this is where it really gets techy. New territory. It's new territory. So Lauren's was, they say like waste, the theme was wastefulness. So apparently the most, the three most wasteful items of food are bread. Oh no, four. It was bread. I can see that. Eggs.

- Bananas. - Bananas, I can see that. - Yeah, yeah. - Bananas, I can see that. - I mean, you dash bananas. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was bread, eggs, bananas and milk. The foremost- - Eggs, I'm surprised about. - I'm surprised about that. - I'm very surprised about that. - If you buy a lot of eggs, I'm sure you waste a lot of eggs. I rarely buy eggs. - Okay. - So I don't waste them when I buy them. - Fair. - But milk, I waste. Bread, I waste. - I would say I waste bread the most and then bananas. Milk, I don't waste them. - Do you know why I'm a bastard? - Why? - 'Cause I waste so much bread that people just tell me to freeze it and I refuse.

Why do you... Because you don't... I'm not... Yeah, I'm not pulling frozen bread out of the fridge. I'm just not doing it. It's just a line I'm not willing to cross yet. Booge. Yeah. Guys, I'm sorry. Say less. I'm sorry. It's disrespectful and I should...

Context, I barely ever buy bread anyway. But when I do, it's because I wanted bread that day. I used two slices and then it rots. I'm vexed. Anyway, so eggs, bread, milk, and bananas. These are your four things. And they basically said you can use one of them. Oh no, it's potatoes as well. Potatoes. Bruv, what was it? Because potatoes was definitely in there because some of them went ham on the potatoes. Potatoes, bananas,

bread and milk it wasn't eggs I'm lying to all of you man it wasn't eggs sorry eggs was a different invention test sorry guys so everyone did their thing

They basically said, you can build it around one of these items or a few of these items. Try your best. So these men, when they're saying, oh, okay, I'll come around to your bench. What are you making? And I say, some of them would be like, I'm emphasizing potatoes in my dish. And I say, okay, cool. Some of them be like, oh, I'm emphasizing potatoes and milk in my dish. And I'd be like, okay, cool. Lauren came in and said, I'm doing potatoes, milk, and bananas. And they were like, oh, so you're patterning three. And then-

She was like, yeah, I'm doing this, this, this. And they said, what are you doing with the banana? She's doing a savory dish. They said, what are you doing with the bananas? She said, I'm going to make a banana ketchup. Fam? How you looking at me is how they looked at her.

I said, "A banana ketchup, are you sure?" She said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." Well, she said, "I'm not sure, but I'm hopeful." - Okay. Is this individual or they're all in the same team? - They're all in the same room now. - Okay. - And then she was like, "Yeah, I'm gonna do banana ketchup with this chicken and this, this, this." And like she did, I think she did chips. She made her own chips. - Makes sense. - Banana ketchup and- - Banana ketchup. - Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's like fried chicken or some shit.

Okay. Yeah. And they were like, are you sure, fam? She was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not sure, but we'll see. Okay. When I say she patterned it. Okay. Fam, they dipped in the ketchup and they're like raw. They said raw. Okay. Yeah. Okay. She flew through. Okay. She flew. And I was like, this is my hope. Yeah. This is my hope and prayer. Yeah. She's going to do a thing. Then she went to cook for the...

Fucking Critics Okay So they cook for critics After that as well Same meal No no no She did a different meal She made one Crystal clear Like You know those dumplings Um They're folded up tight It was like um Maybe like Similar wonton style Okay She made like Um Dumplings In like a Crystal clear Chili and lime broth Um

Shrimp dumplings with chili and lime broth for her appetizer. When I say the ting was see-through, the broth.

- Like water. - Okay. - It looked like it didn't taste of anything. - Okay. - These man sipped it all of a sudden like. - Flavours. - Flavours. - All of them. And they said, "Bah, bah." I was like, "Come on!" - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - "Let's go, Lauren!" - Okay. - Gassed. Flew through. So now we're moving on to heat. So once they get to like the quarter finals or whatever, we just keep going back to heat, heat, heat, heat. - Okay, makes sense. - So we'll do like four heats.

Knockouts. Then we've got our guys and then we'll go four more heats. Knockouts. Guys. Okay. Makes sense. Next, one French slash African Don called Philippe. Yeah. Philippe? Okay. Donnie came through again with fucking bananas. So,

He- Oh, same wastage test. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. It wasn't even the wastage test on this one. So what he did, he didn't do too well. His one was the- His invention test was the one with eggs. Okay. His one was the one with eggs where he made a quiche thing. It's dread because of the language barrier. They said you got 70 minutes. So his invention test was not eggs. It was tarts. Okay. You have to make a type of tart. So he made a quiche. Okay.

Bear eggs, all this kind of stuff. And then they were like, you got 70 minutes, pattern it, da, da, da. He was done at 17. And they were like, brother, everyone's still cooking. They were like, I think you need to go back to your thing. But he was too embarrassed to say, oh, you said 17. I thought you said 17. Okay. So he was done. Ah.

And then when they tasted it, they were like, bro, it's not even cooked. And he was like, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. And he was like, bear like, sorry, sorry, sorry. And they were like, bro, I'm not gonna lie to you. You need to do better. Philippe, I'm not gonna lie to you. You need to do fucking better. - So once he presents it, you can't go back and- - So he can, but he was too ashamed to say, I thought you said 17. So after the whole thing was charged,

And everyone's like, what happened there? He was like, bro, I'm not gonna lie to you. They said 17. I thought they said 17. That's why I was done in 17 minutes just waiting. I didn't realize. And I was too embarrassed to go and try and start again. I didn't know if I was allowed to start again. Fair. Okay. So he got cast for no reason. Damn. And I was like, gang, because he had my hopes up from the skills test and his signature. He had my hopes up. And then he did that bullshit. And I was like, he's just like the rest. Yeah. And then...

It's just like the rest. And then he came clean and was like, I thought this was 17. And I was like, to be fair, the fact that you even got that done in 17 minutes is crazy to me. Well played. So then he went through to cook for the critics. Bro, you man, what are you making, Philippe? I'm making plantain chips. What tartare did he make? Like either he made like a scallop tartare.

Okay. With a chili and lime broth again. And he made banana and avocado guacamole. Okay. Again, when they heard the banana, they looked at him and said, what are you man doing? Do you want to win or not? This is not the time to take risks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to win or not? Why are you putting banana and avocado in a guacamole? He said, fam, he looked deadpan. He said, I like banana. I like avocado. I said, fair.

I've never heard a more correct answer. Yeah, yeah, facts. I'll just shut up, shall I? Facts. They stepped back and said, I'll just shut up then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were scared. Fam, he bopped it out. That was his starter for the critics. Okay. Presentation good? Presentation was elite. The presentation was elite, for starters. Yeah. All these men tried the plantain chip. It snapped. Yeah. It snapped. It was so crispy. It snapped. This guacamole thing, all these men...

They dip the They dip the They say raw Yeah He's like raw Banana avocado It's always on It tastes banging Say less The Marcus Waring tried it He said This is a triumph

He said, fam, he said, anyone else could have told me banana avocado would have said, suck your mum. This, this is banging. A triumph. He said it's a triumph. That's a word. Bro, the next thing he made was some fucking, oh my God. He took a risk on his main dish. That was the appetizer. His entree took another fucking risk. He made some chechenga chicken with like yam,

and coffee jus. Fam, again, these man said coffee jus, Philippe. - Stop. - I'm tired of this noise with you. And obviously he had to tell them this before he'd even given them the avocado tea, the banana tea. So they didn't know what he was on. They said coffee jus and avocado guacamole, the banana guacamole thing. You're taking a piss out of everyone. You're taking a piss out of literally everyone. Fam, took it to the critics. When they ate it, one of the critics said, this is the best thing I've had, period.

Not today. Not this week. This is the best meal I've had. Coffee jus. Coffee jus. I couldn't see that on the menu. I pushed the menu to the side. Now, what restaurant am I in? A coffee jus. They were fed up when they read the menu. When they tasted it.

The Marcus Rarenberger said, as soon as he gets in there, I'm drapes in that fucking recipe of him. I needs it. Mad. He flew through. Mad. They said he's a genius. Okay. So these, this year, you man. You're Lauren and Philippe. Lauren and Philippe on my ride or die. Okay. If they're listening. Yeah. Keep it going. Say less. I need this. It's a BBC. Okay. I watch on iPlayer. Is it every day? It's pretty much every day. Okay.

Every year I get locked the fuck in. - Say less. - I love MasterChef professionals. - I know you do. - God, I love it. But yeah, yeah, yeah. - Dang, say less. - These men have my hope and my desire. I need them to catch a dub because we never ever do. We never ever do. - What does the winner get? - They get a trophy. I don't know if they get P, they might get P, but main thing they get clout. - Okay, so these are already, sorry to cut you off, these are already like seasoned chefs. So are they like Michelin star chefs?

None of them are Michelin star chefs. None of them, some of them own their own restaurants and stuff. But it's so the amateur one, the normal master chef, that is like, they get obviously trophy. I think they get money. And also that's when they usually just work in like flipping WH Smiths and stuff. And then as soon as they win master chef, all of them end up going on to own their own restaurants, own their own catering services, all that kind of shit. This one,

It's a bit more like cloudy, but it's a big, big, big thing in your career. Okay. It's the same thing as if, like, imagine if there was, for example,

podcast of the year. Like who's the best podcast of the year or whatever. And it's on BBC. So all of these guys, there's just like millions and millions of podcasts and stuff like that. And then you win the whole thing. You know, it's the next day you're a patent. Makes sense. Okay, cool. So that's this year. I'm terrified. I need them to, cause there's competition as well. Oh, of course. There's competition. There's one brother called Kyle. He looks like a prisoner.

Yeah. Barley white guy. Yeah. Tattoos all over the place. Yeah. This motherfucker can cook. Yeah. Fam. I love it when you look at someone, they don't look like what their ability is. Well, he looks like he kidnaps people. That's crazy. He can fucking cook. That's crazy. And he's one of the ones in the skills test where he bottled the whole team. I swear. But his improv, when he realized he was bottling it, all of them were like, Rod, this guy can cook.

Okay. This guy can cook. Wow, wow, wow. He's thinking. On his feet. He's thinking on his feet. And every time he makes stuff, I think he made one piece of pork that was overdone, that people weren't too happy with. Every other thing he's made, they've said, wow. Okay. And he's in it for the comp.

He's in it for the comp because every time everyone's like, I'm just so honored to be here. It'll be a dream come true if I can go through to the next round. He sits back and says, I'm here for war, bro. Say less. I think I'm the best. I want to prove that I'm the best. I'm here for it. That's the attitude you need to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the mentality you need. Yeah, he's here for the competition, bro. There's nothing else to it. Fuck all this. I'm happy to be here. I want to win. Yeah, fuck.

Professional chef or not. He said, I want to prove that I'm the best. And that's what gasses me when he comes in and just like, I'm a seasoned vet. I want to prove I'm the best. And then you've got Donnie's and like Philippe in there where he's looking at Philippe thinking, fuck. Yeah. Are you taking a piss? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How do you even think? Yeah. He's thinking, fuck.

I'm really here. This is really MasterChef. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. I love stuff like that. I hear you. I hear you. Wow. Fumble in there. Oh, fuck. So would I. I couldn't be in a competition for you man to serve up a coffee to you and then man say, you're a genius. I think, what am I doing here? Yeah.

- Facts. - What am I doing here? - Facts. - I'm busting out the same croquettes that I've been making for three years. These men are bringing in banana and avocado. - Yeah. - Banana. - Yeah, banana guacamole, bro. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy. - What am I supposed to do? - That's crazy. - Yeah, it's getting juicy. - I bet. - It's getting juicy. - I might give it a watch still. - All right, bet. You had a question for us.

I have a question for you actually. - Oh, gang. It's been a while. - It has been a while. The question is, we've still lived the same life we live, podcasts, everything, all of that. My question to you is, if we got straight out of uni, so uni was 10 years ago. - Oh God, don't remind me. - If you got out of uni and you bagged a 70K a year job, this actually all of you, 70K a year job,

knowing what you know now 10 years later that we're in this position would you take that 70 bags a year considering you know what you went through these past 10 years so 70 and do i enjoy the job yeah that you you're having fun it's a nice job i don't know what job it is but you're having fun you're getting good pay and you're you're well looked after your life is better all of that stuff but and it's 7k starting i'm 10 years later i'm still making 70k

- It starts in 70K. - Starts in 70K. - It starts in 70K. - That sky's the limit. - It starts in 70K. - That's hedge fund stuff. - Yeah. And you're what, 22? You starting at 70K? - And the podcast never exists. - The podcast doesn't exist. Now, if you take the 70K, the podcast doesn't exist.

you know that this could be an eventuality 10 years later, but you just have to grind it out and not have anything. You live the exact same life you've lived. - I'm with you. - Up until now. - So someone could tell me, right, you can take this 70K job, which in 10 years time could be 200K, 300K. - Could be wherever you want it to be. - Or live in the shit for 10 years, but something amazing can come at the end of it. - Yeah.

But I don't know for a fact the podcast can happen. I just know it's a possibility. It's a possibility. Yeah. That's really annoying me that you've said that. Straight out of uni, the next day after graduation, I would have picked the podcast. Okay. A year after uni, when I was really hungry, I would have taken the job. Okay. Yeah. So not saying that like...

I knew because it's not saying that the question happened to me at uni and I just left it a year. If the question was asked of me a year after uni and said nine years from now, you could have this or here's a job for 70K right now. If someone, if anyone, I didn't mean anyone. If a human trafficker said 70 bags a year, come with me a year after uni, I would have been anyone's. I was suffering.

- Suffering. - I heard you. - And I wouldn't even let them finish the sentence to tell me about this podcast, blah, blah, blah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Take my soul bro, give me the 70K. - Fair. - 100%. But day after uni, I didn't give a fuck. I had 11 pound on my account, I didn't care. I just wanted my brethrens and puss. - Yeah, fair. - That's all I wanted. - Fair. - Fun and puss. What about you? - I would choose, I probably would have chosen the 70K.

Purely because I know for a fact you would have chosen 70k Probably because you guys know Pretty much 10 years I was in hospitality And it was the As fun as it was at times It was the longest part of my life

It was literally the longest part of my life. And I don't regret it because life is life and whatever, but the 70K would have niced me, bro. I would have had a life. Do you know what I mean? I would have literally had a life. I had no life. When you man were doing up, we're going here, we're going there, blah, blah, blah. And I'm weak as I'm just there, just in Manchester or in wherever, working in London. I'm thinking, I literally don't have a life, bro. Oh, I remember because all of our link ups were whilst you were on shift at your job.

- Yeah, yeah. - That's how we spent time with you. We would go eat at your restaurant. - Yeah, true. I hated it. I hated it so much. - You didn't seem like you did though. So I'm happy you kept it 'cause I was vocal. I was vocal for years and years and years. Wow, I used to ring Rem and just, we'd just complain for hours. On a long drive, I'll bell him and we'll just talk dreams and complaints.

I hated it. Yeah. I hated it. Wow. Dreams and complaints. Rem, what about you? Fresh out. Same. Fresh out. Uni, post-uni. Just realising that our degree at that time just meant so much less than what it was sold to us as when we were going to uni. 100%. It just, yeah.

That was one of the lowest points of my life, man. Realising that, yeah bro, honestly, realising that- - It's not funny. - Do you know what it is? - It's not funny. - That's not funny. - That was one of the lowest points of my life. - It was, it was. Realising that when I graduated, thinking that I'd be ahead of my peers that didn't go to uni. And then noticing them, man, just went straight to work. - Yeah. - They're making money. - They're making money now. I'm thinking, okay, cool, but I went to uni, so- - So I'm gonna speed past them, yeah. - Yeah, my degree's gonna like, I'm gonna jump past you, fam.

The realization that that was not the case and all these men only care about experience. That was hard hitting. So if going back the day after uni, if someone would have offered me 70 bags a year, 22 years old, I would have bitten your half straight. I would have sucked his fingers.

- It wasn't playing to you bro. - Same. - I sucked his fingers bro. - Same. - Jesus. - 70 bags a year at 22. - Yeah, I didn't know what that kind of money was. - Yeah, facts. - I don't think anyone did. - Yeah, like in my head I would have conceived it as 70 grand a day. That's how much money that is. 70 bags a year. - Yeah, again, you're stupid. - You're stupid. - That's insane. - Ellis, what about you? - I'm gonna take a different approach. - Of course you are.

Because, right, I'm a firm believer of like, you need to have, you need to work like shit jobs and go through the struggle a bit. I feel like it builds you as a person, it builds like your character. Agreed. And then like, yeah, like I feel like if you come out of uni, you've been settled with, what is it, 75? 70. 70. 70 grand a year.

Like, yeah, it's cool, but there's no struggle. I just don't feel like it's like, don't get sick. You're going to be fucking traveling and all this shit and you're going to be doing shit. But like, I don't know. I just feel like you need to work those shit jobs. You have to. It's like literally part of like, it's part of,

I don't know, when I look back at like the shit jobs I've had, I'm like, oh, it's sick. Like, 'cause you can like reflect and be like, oh, cool. Now I'm here. - I hear you. - I think it's cool, it builds character. - All I'm hearing is we took you out too early. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You didn't really bleed for it. - You didn't really bleed. - How old are you, 22? How long have you done shit jobs for, maybe two years? - 15, bro. - Oh, 15? - To be fair, to be fair, to be fair. - Is that legal, my guy? - No. - You started KP in at 15, right? - Yeah, I was in school.

- That's bullshit. - Yeah. - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's been through it. - You've drank the devil's nectar. - Bullshit. - My first job was 16. - My first job was 16, but my first job was chill. I was working in the leisure center attached to my school. - Oh, okay. - And I was just setting up badminton courts and playing basketball. - Oh, wow. - That's what I was doing. - I was washing pots. - Yeah. - Washing pots and serving students. - I'm not doing that. - That's what I was doing. - I'm not doing that. - Yeah. - No, no, no. That's what, I think that job actually gave me a bad,

a bad first experience of work. - It was so lax. - Because I remember the manager at the time was so relaxed. I think I've told you before, he used to just let us play basketball on shift. - Yes. - So because it's that same as where I played ball with my team and I also boxed in that same place. Whenever I had boxing training or basketball training, if it happened to be on shift, he'd be like, "Just go do it and then come back finish your shift." I was like, "This is blessed."

And this is fucking blessed, bro. And then they changed managers and we had Linda come in. - She whipped you man at the show. - Day one, she said, "If you think you're doing this basketball bullshit again, you've lost your mind, your head's on work." - I was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this?"

And then I hated her from there. And then I hated every single day of work ever again. - She changed your- - She changed. I was like, this is fucking, 'cause I remember thinking if before I was like, this is what the job is. This is blessed. This is cushy. - Yeah, you got them red roses, boy. - Yeah, boy. - Rem, what was your first job again? - I think my first proper job was when we were at uni at the Rico Arena.

in Coventry. I replied for the same bitch. I never got it. I was vexed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What were you doing there again? I forgot about that. I was just on match days, weekends, just serving behind the bar. Okay. It's like beers and... Okay. I forgot you did that. Wow. Yeah. But then, so obviously I had that job, but when you man secured... The Hub. Yeah. The Hub. No, no. No, that wasn't... Okay, yeah, that was earlier, but then you guys got the...

- Butlers. - Oh yeah. - The wages. - The pay scales were off. - The pay scales were way off. - We were making money. - That was living. - We were making money at 19, 20. - We were making dirty money bro. - I was screwed. - Screwed. - I forgot about that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That was my first job. - That was like two bills a shift, isn't it? - It was. - That was crazy talk back then. - Crazy talk. - Yeah. Wow. - Wow. - Yeah. - I took my butt cheeks out. - Yeah. - Crazy. - I took out my asshole out. - Making money. Damn. Okay, bet.

Right, guys, time for the introduction. Welcome back to the show. As you've already heard, tickets for our O2 Arena show go live for Patreons tomorrow. They do. So if you want to make sure you get a ticket...

You want to have it secured because this thing can sell out on Patreon by the way. - It fucking can. - There's a big community over there. It can sell out over there. So head on over to patreon.com/shitsandgigs, contribute your three pound a month, run the P to S and G, secure your ticket before everyone else. Watch four years worth of content from your boys that the world has never seen. Join our community.

There's going to be groups galore about what people are doing before the O2 show, after the O2 show. It's a bank holiday Sunday. Shit gets crazy. So yeah, get in there. The weather's going to be up. Chirp some tings and sort your hotel. Facts. Facts.

Sort your hotel. Damn, it's going to be a party. It really is. It's going to be a party. I can't wait. I'm actually gassed. Guys, if you're watching on YouTube, please subscribe to the channel. If you are listening on any audio platform, please leave us a nice review. And as always, guys,

Please buy these tickets for this O2 show. You have to. Biggest you've ever had. I promise you it's going to be worth it. It's going to be insane. It will be worth it, man. You guys literally have no choice. You have to buy them. It's going to be so sick. I literally can't even explain to you, man, how sick this show is going to be. I flipping... You men aren't deep in it.

a live podcast show in the O2 arena. - The O2 arena. - If you're not from the UK and you're like, "What's even the O2 arena?" Imagine Madison Square Garden, bro. This is the equivalent that we're talking about here. This is the levels that we're talking about here. People aren't doing this kind of stuff. - They're not. - So yes, please guys. It is gonna be like Beyonce meets Michael Jackson meets Billie Eilish meets Slipknot with a twist of Al Green

and Taylor Swift on steroids. - All meshed in one. - Yeah, all meshed into one, bro. And then it's just like RuPaul's fucking drag race in there. - Just voguing. - Just voguing down the aisle. - Voguing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow. - It's gonna be experience, it's gonna be a party. - I can't be the answer. I'm ready to dance, put the pants up. - Yeah, yeah. - Bam, I need to learn how this- - The little swivel hips. - The swivel arms.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They swivel that bitch. Yeah, bro. So, yeah. Remember, guys, yes. It's going to be sick. And if we sell out in one day, Fuyense will hold her lips. Anyway. He still hasn't denied it. He still hasn't denied it. Without further ado, we are headed into the...

You guys got up the ante. 24 hours. IG question, yo. Question of the week. What we got? Question of the week this week was, what's the worst punishment you've ever received from your parents? And after I go through my list, I'm going to ask you, man, your worst punishment. All right, bet. Two. Right. What's the worst punishment you've received from your parents? Crushed scotch bonnets as toothpaste. That's...

That can't be true. That's abuse. That can't be true. That's abuse. My teeth will fall out. That's abuse, my guy. Crushed bonnets. Crushed bonnets. Crushed scotch bonnets. And that takes time. That sounds like a pestle and mortar situation. That takes time. Yeah. Damn. Okay. Kneeled on uncooked rice and had to hold a textbook over my head.

kneeling on uncooked. Do you know the amount of people in this thread that wrote, I kneeled on uncooked rice? I didn't know this was a punishment. I hadn't heard of this in my life. Kneel on uncooked rice. Yeah. And held a book over my head.

- Crazy. - Fuck nah. - Crazy. - Is this Auschwitz, bro? - Bro. - What's going on? - Yeah, that's a punishment. - Kneeling on uncooked rice. - That's a punishment, yeah. - Just beat me. - Yeah, it's not enough. - Yeah. - Beating isn't enough anymore, I guess. - Wow. - It's clearly not enough, 'cause they must have beat and beat and beat and got used to it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Kneeling on uncooked rice. - Yeah, you're gonna feel this one. - Yeah, this is like Malcolm Middle type stuff.

their punishments were crazy i swear yeah you never watched it i i didn't watch it consecutively to remember any like serious they were brazy but they were white brazy okay yeah they were they weren't they weren't this level of kind of stuff but they would they wouldn't lois would make these men stand in the corner facing the wall for like three days she was on stuff she lost her mind for these youths

- All right, what's the worst punishment you've ever received from your parents? My great grandma used to tie us down and stick crushed ginger up our arseholes. Tie us down. Like a hog tie. It is crazy.

- No great grandma's doing anything of a sort to me. - Great grandma. Wow. - The Utes must have been small. - Bakes are, facts? Bakes are the sharp. - Facts. - Bakes are the sharp. - That's what great grandmas are here for. - What do you mean your finger in my ass hole with ginger? - Bakes me starting to go to bed. - That's medieval.

- Wow. - She beat me with a vuvuzela for stealing some eggs. - Oh, with a what? - A vuvuzela. - What's that? - It's them instruments they use in South Africa. - World Cup. - Them hauntings.

For stealing eggs. Stealing eggs? First of all, if I'm stealing eggs, I'm hungry. These aren't sweets. If I'm stealing eggs, I'm hungry. It's not a delicacy for me. Don't punish me. Wow. Oh, my God. I don't know why, but I got my ass beat in the shower with the stick part of the mop. I was shaken to my core after that. I don't know why. I don't know why.

So Mamma's just taking a shower and then Pop's just like, drink. With the stick part. And then just close it and dip. Close it and dip. Until Nami doesn't know why. Doesn't know why, bro. Oh my God. They broke a bucket on my head and got mad at me because the bucket broke. That's fucked up. That is fucked up. They told me to write, I'm sorry, I will never lie again 2,000 times. Nah. My wrist will ache, bro.

2,000 times. I'd lose it. All right, what's the worst punishment you've ever received from your parents? They took my fucking door.

They took my fucking door. Oh my God. That's crazy. That's nuts. That is nuts. Parents don't care. I remember my mom threatening me that, threatening me with that before though. Swear. Yeah, because I told you I wasn't allowed things in my room with the door closed. Yes, yes. So I remember one time she said, if you close the door one more time, I'm taking it off.

I couldn't hear, well, if I heard, I'm thinking, what do you mean? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's the first thing I'll be thinking. - I don't know if it was the cadence or the tone or the speed. I knew exactly what she meant. - You believed her. - She meant screwdriver hinges is coming off. Don't close it again. And I was vexed because she said it when the ting was there. Text me that.

Call me downstairs. Don't shame me in front of my boo. - Why do parents do that? - Facts. - Why do parents, what do you gain from embarrassing your own flesh and blood in front of a ting that I'm trying to sweeten? Do you see what I'm saying? - I'm trying to get my own hog tie situation. - What's the point, man? - What are you doing to me? - What are you doing, man? - Close the door again, I'm taking it off.

- You might as well take it off now because she ain't coming back. - Facts. - Oh man. - She's telling all her friends. Anyway, they didn't speak to me for a week and I can only come down when dinner was ready. - Wow. That's horrible. A week. - Didn't speak to me for a week, only come down when dinner's ready. - That's a serious punishment. - That is a punishment. - I'll be begging for compensation. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Begging for compensation. - You'll see me at dinner just start crying. - Just for attention? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I need the attention.

He pulled open the shower curtain and beat me with a wire. Is this the same bread? It must be. It must be siblings or something. This shower thing is nuts. Brazy. I baked some biscuits and as a punishment, she opened the back door and chucked them. That's uncalled for. That's really fucking horrible. I would cry my eyes out. She opened the back door and chucked them, you know. Damn. I told them I wanted to marry a criminal as a joke and they took me to a prison for the day.

- That could have gone south. - It could have. It really, really, really could have. - She could have doubled down. - I told my mum to fuck off and she filled my mouth with shower gel. Shower gel is crazy. - Shower gel is nuts. - The pin down must have been- - Yeah, the smoosh of the lips. - Yeah, it must have been crazy. - Wow, she was angry. - I couldn't be the father/husband of that family and walk in and see that occur. - No, no, no, I'll scream, "Stop!" - My wife on top of my child squeezing shower gel into his mouth.

Get off him What happened How did you get here Yeah yeah yeah How did we get here Yeah nah nah nah Oh my days When I lied about my grades My mum My mum made me call All her friends And tell them I was a liar Because you know what Parents are like Especially African parents African parents When your kid has done Something good or nice Or deep They love to brag to the brethren Yeah yeah yeah All the time

So the Marge is like, you made me say to my brothers that you got A's, B's and C's and all of these things. - You're gonna call each and every one of them and tell them you're a liar. - Tell them you're a liar. It's not gonna come from my mouth. - I'm not doing that. - That's embarrassing. - I'm not doing that because I'm also not going through the small talk of when she answers the phone. Every single time. - Oh, hi James. How you doing? Long time. - Oh, what are you calling me for baby? What's up? - I have to call you and say I'm a liar. - Liar? What are you talking about?

Facts. Every single one. Auntie! This is a paid advertisement for BetterHelp. Bro. Talk to me. Real quick. Ask me what my self-care non-negotiables are. What? Grounding.

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Betterhelp.com slash gigs pod today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash gigs pod. A mass text in the group chat. That's a broadcasting. A mass text. Aunties, I lied. Aunties and uncles, I lied. Oh my days. But this is really a lesson on the pressures that you are putting on us children. Because I felt like I had to lie. Think about that. There you go. There you go, parents. Think about it.

My dad took me to a police station because I shat in a bush. That's excessive. That'll put a fear of God in me, though. Police station? Yeah. Yeah, that's nuts. They told me to circle every vowel in a newspaper for failing an English test. I wouldn't. I don't even know what a vowel is till now. I'm not going to lie to you, man. Which one is it? You do, man. What? Which one is the vowel? Which one? Vowels. A-E-I-O-U. Oh, all right. Cool. Bet. Yeah, I know which one they are.

What? You did know, man. Bro, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.

You're making this deeper than it needs to be. In my head, I was confusing vowel with noun. So if you said circle every noun in the paper, I would like, I don't know what that is. As soon as you said A-I-R, I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, bet, bet, bet, bet, bet, I know. And the occasional Y. And the occasional Y. So it's just the name of what it was that. Yeah. Sometimes I get mixed up about vowels, nouns, adjectives, pronouns, all these kinds of things. I get mixed up. Okay. Read your fucking list.

'Cause you'd like to do this, innit? - Do what? - He likes to add pauses and extra stares and he loves to do this like sit up thing in his chair. - Because that's my genuine- - I explained what happened. - That's my genuine reaction. - Rem was very understanding and said, "Oh, it's just the names you get confused with sometimes." And I said, "Yeah, I get confused with names." And you're still there like- - 'Cause I'm processing. - You still haven't even exhaled.

And it's just not necessary, is it? It's just really not necessary. - I said, which one is that? It's the one. - Yeah, now I get you. 'Cause in my head, I was certain I had said noun. So if I'd said noun and I said, I didn't even know which one that is. I can understand you might be a bit like, I'll swear. But it didn't warrant the reaction that you gave. But I realize now what I had actually said and let's move on. - Do you know what noun is? - I just said I don't. - Name, place, person.

It's capital capital letter Okay So James is a noun Cool I don't care Harris is a noun Class of people Yeah Yeah I don't care Okay That's why I don't know Cool Say less bro I simply don't care Cool I feel like the mood is gone now I've got a few more What's the worst punishment you received from your parents? She broke a wooden spoon on my thigh Been there

Really? In there, yeah. That seems hard to do. Oh, it's easy when you have African parents. Like this? Yeah, but it wasn't necessarily, probably on my arse or something, it was on my thigh. Baroque it? Yeah, bro. Wooden spoon was their go-to.

Yeah, wooden spoon, wooden spatula, anything like that. Yeah, man. Because it was easily replaceable as well. Oh, I get that. But it doesn't seem like I've cooked with many a wooden spoon. It doesn't seem easy to snap like that. How hard is she hitting you? Tough, bro. Hard as? Yeah, bro. Nah, that's not. I've been through stuff. I can tell. I've been through stuff. Punishments galore. I didn't get meat on my plate for two months. That...

It is crazy. Bro, two months. I didn't get meat on my plate for two months. That's malnourishment. That is. That's malnourishment. That's RSPCA type talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where am I getting my minerals? Facts. Where am I getting my minerals, bro? I need my irons, bro. Yeah, yeah. I'll be anemic by the end of it.

I'll be anemic. Meat on my plate. And the thing is, two months is so long. By the time you give me meat again, I'll forget why. Facts. Facts. Facts. I'm a veggie now. Yeah. Facts. Wow. My mom made a whole pot of boiled plantain and forced me to eat it. I almost passed out.

That's crazy That's insane That probably occurred Because my man Probably stole one plantain Yeah yeah yeah Or took one too many We're doing the cigarette trick Yeah yeah yeah You like plantain Yeah say that Wow you must love plantain Yeah let me give you some plantain That's potassium No that could turn someone into shock Fat They used to say Don't even eat two bananas in a day A whole pot of plantain Yeah yeah That would send your body Into something else Alright last one

Worst punishment your parents has ever given you. The belt. By the end, they sprayed me with Dettol so I could really feel the sting. So I could really feel the sting. I would be dying over the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. Dying all over the house. You're going to whip me and then make it worse. Literally putting salt on the wound. Literally.

That's horrible. All right. Worst punishment you can think of that you've received. Worst punishment I can think of is probably, I've told you man before, probably the night my mom made me stay up all night.

- After your night shift. - Yeah, not even after my night shift. - 'Cause you went out. - Yeah, 'cause I went on a night out. - Missed the curfew. - I had a 10, I got like 11:00 PM curfew. I came in at like 4:00 AM. - And coincidentally she was going to toilet. - And she was going to toilet. - Oh. - The fear. I don't think anyone's felt fear the way I felt fear in that exact moment. I've never been more afraid of anything in my life.

So yeah, from then, so she made me, obviously I've been up all the day before. I've been out and then I had my first shift at this place the next day at 4 p.m. And so she made me sit in my room awake from 4 a.m. until my shift at 4 p.m. How does she know if you didn't fall asleep though? Or if you did fall asleep? Because my door was open. So she would keep coming out. And every time I doze off, she'd be like, where the fuck are you?

So I had to sit there. And bear in mind, I wasn't allowed to leave the room. Yeah. So I sat in my room just knackered, hallucinating. Every time I dozed off, she'd wake me the fuck up. Oh, it was horrible. That's punishment. It was absolutely horrible. Ellis? Do you know what? I never really got anything mad. But my mum used to do this fucking annoying thing where if I pissed her off or say if I called in sick for school or whatever, she would literally...

Take the power lead for my Xbox and nothing else So the Xbox is there all the games of Finn just take the power lead and should take like the TV lead nothing So there's nothing to do. So you just be so that's probably the way I know I know I know it's the lightest thing you probably ever read. I didn't get fuck all I'm very I'm very lucky. I didn't get so yeah, cool. But yeah, that was it privilege you Privilege you

Rem, what are you saying? When I used to misbehave, obviously there was belt and all of that stuff or whatever. But my mom used to take me to my auntie's house in the morning. I think she used to go to work, take me to my auntie's house, leave me there. And my auntie used to make me sit in the corner of the room. She used to do hair. She's a hairdresser. She used to make me sit in the corner of her living room while she's doing hair all day.

I need to just sit there watching the war the whole time all day doing absolutely nothing I'd splatter my forehead on the wall yeah I'm about I don't know say 8 8 to no 10 that's torture fam

- Yeah. - That's torture. - Should hear me thud in my head against the team. - You man ain't received punishment. I'm not gonna lie to you. - Well, I just skipped the basic stuff, which is the belt. I used to get beat all the time with the belt. - Oh, the belt, yeah. - That's standard for me. - Everyone got the belt, apart from Ellis, obviously. Everyone got the belt. - Apart from, yeah. - But my two that I recall, apart from the whip, the bamboo stick that ripped my stomach skin off, apart from that, the two, there's one punishment called the pick pin.

This isn't making sense. Go on. So the pick pin is one finger. Jay might know about this. One finger on the ground. I'd have to actually get up and show you. Audio listeners, apologies. Pick pin, right? Hours. Hours. Hours. Hours on end. You just have to balance like that? Balance like that. Hours on end. If your foot drops, whip. If your knee drops, whip. If your hand shakes, whip. That. And there was a... This is an actual core exercise, but it was a punishment for you. This one. That. That.

- What do you mean hours, bro? - Literally, I mean hours. I would have to do that in front of the TV. So I'm facing my pops, my pops is watching the TV, I'm just there. He doesn't know I exist until my feet touch the floor. If my heel back touches the floor, you man, it's a long day.

It's a long day. Dan said, I have to look at my pops and pops is watching TV. Yeah. And you don't exist until your heels touch the floor. I don't exist until my heel touches the floor. I pray to God my heels don't touch the floor. Wow. Yeah. I don't know what that one's called, but it was a punishment, my bros. Wow.

- Never heard anything like it. - Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't bro. You wouldn't. - No. - You're face and walls life, man. - Yeah, fair. - Damn bro. - And I was around the same age, eight, 10. Yeah, that's what I was doing, bro. - Nah, that's not on you.

- That's not on that. - I just want to last play card. - Yeah, that's to be fair. That's the pussy almost. That's the most pussy. - You wouldn't know if there was a house with parents. - Oh yeah. - Days you'll come back with discipline. - You would have noosed yourself. - Discipline and trauma.

That's ridiculous. Trauma, my G. Yeah. Wow. That's scary. Wait, did you never ever get beat? I got hit once. I got hit once. Once? And it was nothing mad. I got slapped in the back or something. It was nothing that mad. And that was like something really extreme. That was it. It was just literally a typical thing. Like, go to your room. You're not coming out. That was it. Wow.

- One man said I wasn't allowed to play Xbox. - Yeah, that's it. That's why I like to play COD. - I rolled my eyes when you said that. - I bet you kicked off as well. - I bet you were in the shadow boxes. - Scream this fucking bitch. - You fucking bitch. - You think you can take my fucking Xbox from? Wow, I remember one time, yeah, I used to play,

- Oh, this whole screaming thing. I used to have a basketball hoop in my back garden. And then it was so jarring. Every time it hit the rim, if I missed, it will bounce off the rim and hit my kitchen window.

My mum used to go mental. I bet. Was it a regular size or like a miniature basketball? Regular, normal, regular size thing. No. Bearing in mind, my mum bought me the thing. Yeah. There's nothing I can do about it. I can't make every shot. Yeah. I'm trying my best. Every single time it used to ping off this window, my mum would go fucking insane. And it got to a point where there was one time I raised my voice in it.

- Yeah, but I was like, I wasn't a you, I was like 14. I'm still a kid, but I raised my voice and she was like, "James, stop fucking hitting that window." And I was so fed up because it's not my fault. I was like, I literally, all I said was, "It's not my fault." And my stepdad came downstairs and he was like, "Shout your fucking mom again." He was like, "Shout your fucking mom again." I found you man, in my head I was rocking his jaw.

In my head, I was doing all sorts. And I remember just, I couldn't look up. And I remember being like, "I'm not in!" I remember going to my room and screaming into my pillow, kicking my legs and screaming into my pillow like, "This pussy offings, I won't knock him out, bro. You're not even my dad, bro. You're not even my dad, blood." That's when blood was the word as well. "You're not even my dad, blood. And if you can chat to me, I'll shout at whoever I want. Are you mad?" And then I came down for dinner like. Oh, it was so jokes. I was livid.

- I don't know what it is about parents swearing at kids, but that'll put the fear of God in me. That'll put the fear of God in me. - Parents, especially male parents, if they drop an F bomb on you, you think you're gonna die. - Yeah. I don't think my parents ever swore at me. - My dad's never swore at me. My mom, yeah, my mom, he stayed swearing, but my dad has never, ever swore at me. - Wow. - My dad's only shouted like three times. And my dad has this weird thing where like he hums after he shouts.

If you ever get him to that level where he has to shout, he always be like, give me an example. He'll be like, I said behave. And then it's a shaky. - He's holding himself back. You don't know what I would do to you. - You man is scary. I said behave. It's scary. You don't know what he's up to bro.

You don't know what's going through his mind. He's capable of stuff. He's lost it. Yeah. He's tired of little niggas running up in the yard and causing a ruckus. Bro. Yeah. Jesus. He said behave. I can remember it. Crystal clear.

It was scary. It is scary. And it's jokes because obviously my younger brother, I've only heard him get the hum once. Okay. And he held tumps that day. My youngest brother, because my dad grew out of it. Yeah. The open hand. Yeah. He grew out of it. He put his belts away. When he had more kids, he put his belts away, bro. Yeah. The one time we was in Florida, wherever my little, my little, little brother, he wants to be like five or something at the time. This nigga was acting.

Up Oh sweat Up Where me and my little brother Me and my Me and my brother brother Were looking at each other like How's Pop's letting this run Yeah How's he letting this run Yeah Because he We were in IHOP And this kid's Kicking up a fuss And I was like This is like

borderline like we would have been knocked unconscious yeah if it was us back in the day we would have been unconscious right now yeah and this kid's getting away with murder damn and you can see my dad chilling chilling his mom's trying to like calm him down my dad's chilling chilling chilling composed and you could see something snap in his head boy when my little brother got that hum i was like it's game over my dad chased him out the thing

And I was like, I knew you couldn't fully retire. Because the lengths this boy was going to, he needed to stop. Chase him out. Yeah, he did.

I can't see that. - Chasing out the IHOP, bro. - I can't see that as the next customer on the table. I can't see that. - Facts, but it was one of them ones that when I say this boy was behaving so badly, it was like, when my dad chased him out of the thing, you could tell the other customer like, "About time." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - About time, yeah. Fuck him up. - Yeah, okay, so yeah. - This dude needs to learn something. He needs to learn the hard way. Boy, he weren't listening. I've never seen a youth behave like it. He weren't listening. He fixed up from then.

- I bet. - Jesus. - All right, bet. So before top five, I've got like a little ting. You know, I don't wanna say we've got in the habit, but I know when we talk about like interactions with people in the gen pop space is always like last week, like, oh, this guy knows where I live or this person, this and this. It's always got like a little bit of like a, ugh. I had one the other day that I was actually like, this was actually kind of cool.

And it was, all it was, was I pulled up to McDonald's the other day, drive through town. I can't remember where I was on the way back from, but I was starving. So I pulled up to McDonald's. I'm on the drive through, minding my own business, waiting for my, I've ordered, I'm waiting for my food. And I can see a couple, like I look through the window, a couple of men are hustling, bustling, listening to my music, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I look again when I say there's nine man smushed together in this little window ting. So I rolled down my window. Slowly. Slowly. And I looked up. One of the bros was like, are you James from Shitisting Gigs? And then there was just like silence for a second. And I was like, who the fuck's my food, bro? Yeah.

And when I say these men were howling, it was such a nice little icebreaker. Everyone was like, it was so jokes, bro. It was so jokes, bro. And then I had some brother in the back like, yeah, he's here all the time. I said, what? The brother's like, he said you're here all the time.

And I was like, what the fuck is this now? Yeah, yeah. Give me the food. Facts. Give me the food. I'm not. And first of all, I'm not. Yeah. And I had to peep him like, I'm not. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, but not all the time. But I've seen you before. Yeah. Shut up, man. Give me the food. And then Don is like, can I take a picture? I was like, brother. Yeah. I'm gonna ask you one more time. It's been thrice now. Yeah. I'm asking you one more time. Run me the food. Yeah. And then we can, yeah, we can talk selfies. But that whole thing right there, I was actually like,

this is nice. I actually feel like I've interacted with someone because I always go around because like, when I'm by myself, I'm very much like by myself. Yeah. I always, whenever people meet me, I always have it in the back of my head. Like, I wonder if I've let them down.

Like I wonder if they've thought like, oh, I was expecting him to be like bouncing off the walls. And he was very much like, oh, nice to meet you. Thanks. Appreciate it. And I just got on my day. So like, that was like a nice time where I actually felt like I've met people and they've been like,

without even me saying just from that interaction without me saying yes i am the person you think i am i've given you a piece of me that's me that's clarified to you like right it is him because that's something he would say yeah yeah and it actually made me feel really really nice that's cool man so yeah props to them man um just forget you saw me though because i don't go there all the time so sharp yeah that's cool though um top five cool top five top five indeed guys grab your pads your pads your boards and your pens i've said it before i don't really um

check for comments too much. But like I said, I was to you earlier, I was just digging through some analytics and stuff. And then obviously comments always just pops up. First thing you see on the videos, the most recent comments and stuff. I'm not gonna lie to you. Streets are saying you owe Ellis a proper apology. - For what?

- Yeah, I saw that still. - What do you mean? - I saw that. - For what? - I was just saying, what do you mean like you don't live in the comments? - Yeah. - Yeah. - No, but I didn't see any of that, any of that. - Yeah, everyone's saying it's a proper apology, bro. For you, you were just, the way you spoke to him last week. - What did I say? - I didn't actually think it was bad. - It wasn't that bad, it was more the tone. It was more the tone. And your apology was, your apology at the time was, if you feel that way, then sorry. - More like a gaslight. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a backhanded thing. Yeah, yeah, a little gaslighting you.

- So the streets are saying you owe a proper apology. - What did I, the only thing, I don't remember what I said and I don't remember the interaction. I just remember you saying, I don't like the way you speak to him. That's what I remember. - I asked to research something and then you said, well, I said, oh, 'cause I don't know if the guy's retired and you were like, it doesn't matter. - Yeah, you were like, it doesn't matter if he's retired, just write the name.

- Oh yeah, in the top five. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go over it, man. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm doubling down guys. Fucking hell. Ha ha la dee da dee da. Jesus Christ, man. Ellis will live. You guys will live too. Jesus. Everyone will live. Everyone's fine. Yeah? We're good. We're good? We're good. - Brave you, boy. - We're good. - Brave you, boy. - Guys, top five. Top five this week is

- The top five countries with the most millionaires. - Have we done this one before? - Nope. - Have we done billionaires before? - Nope. - We've never done how much money. - Population, something else to do with countries. - Countries with most millionaires. - Millionaires. - Okay, cool. - Cool, so we're all locked? Everyone's locked? - Yep. - Cool. Ellis, you go first. - Dubai, USA, bit of a gamble, I'm going for India.

Russia. I've gone for Saudi Arabia. Dubai's not a country, by the way. Okay, it's a city. United Arab Emirates is the country. Oh, yeah, whatever. I can't change it, so... Game is a game. Fuck. Did you not just get UAE instead? Say that again? So Dubai is UAE. Does he not just have UAE as his... Because that's obviously what he meant. Yeah, I guess, but no. LAUGHTER

Jimmy. I've gone UK, USA, Russia, Saudi, and China. Rem? I've gone... I've chalked it. China, USA, France, Italy, and Monaco. Monaco is a shout. What I was going to say is I was interested... Monaco? Monaco a country? Is it? Yeah. Monaco is...

Monaco is a city in France if I'm not capping. Independent sovereign country. There you go. Say less. Yeah, man. Rich folk live there. Yeah, I was going to say I wonder if I would be intrigued if there's any fucking twist in there like say Cayman Islands is like number one or something like that because that's where everyone have their banks. You can't

Apply to be a citizen of Monaco unless you provide evidence of having 500k in your account. That's insane, isn't it? It's crazy. So juicy. Yeah. So... Shut up. Right, guys. I knew you were going to do that as well. Number 10. With 1.3 million people being millionaires, South Korea.

Damn. 1.3 million millionaires. That's so insane. Yeah. That is so insane. Number nine with 1.3 as well. Italy. I bet UK is not even in the top 10 anymore. I was going to say, because these men have got a million. Well, UK, the reason I said it is UK used to have the most billionaires in the world.

Yeah. Fair. Yeah, you used to have the most billionaires in the entire world. That's why I put it on there. But now these men are talking about over a million millionaires. There's only 64 million people in this country. That would mean 164 people as a millionaire. That doesn't make sense. So now I'm charging the whole thing. Anyway. Number eight with 1.8, Australia. Fair. Number seven with 2 million, Canada. Number six with 2.6 million, UK. Damn. Okay. Hmm.

Who else wrote UK? Nobody, just you. Cool. Number five with 2.6 million, nobody wrote Germany. - Fair. - Number four with 2.8 and I'm surprised none of you wrote Japan. - I would have no reason to write that. - Fair. - I would have been more likely to write Germany than Japan. - Same. - For sure. - Fair. - Number three with 2.8 and only one of you wrote France.

I would not afford that evil. Yeah, I would afford that. Number two with 6.2 million millionaires, China. Cool. And number one, 22.7 million millionaires, USA.

So Rem won that round Well played Well played Rem I'm disappointed I wrote mine with confidence I was locked in like 7 seconds You were locked So 11 is Netherlands 12 Spain 13 Switzerland 14 India Someone wrote India no? Yeah Ellis wrote India Ellis wrote India 15 Taiwan 16 Hong Kong

17, Belgium, 18, Sweden, 19, Brazil, and 20, Russia. So Saudi, they're just not declaring millionaires now? Yeah. They just stopped declaring millionaires. That's Tom. I see how it is now, innit? Surprising. These men do what they want. Yeah. I mean, they might be there, but it's just not a million of them.

There's a million of them. There is a million of them. They're all cake, bro. There probably is. I did hear that them man, actually, it is facts. They don't declare their wealth to Forbes and them. Okay. That's a fact. Okay. Because there's a lot of people that are saying that they reckon there's at least one trillionaire in Saudi Arabia. Wow. From this oil money?

They say Elon is not the richest man in the world. - Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. - Their man just don't register their wealth. - Yeah. - And tax will hit him hard. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That doesn't surprise me at all. But yeah, that was top five. What's the score?

It is 14, 11, 4. Catching up. Let's go. Yeah, it is actually. Catching up. You ain't going in a couple of weeks. It's all right, man. I was getting bored. I told you, man. You ain't going in a couple of weeks. Yeah, come on. It's not accident I'm locking in in seven seconds. I'm just writing stuff. I'm just writing stuff. Say less. Okay, cool. Right. I've got a little thread. Hit me. I saw this and it's a little bit, not different.

But it ends with something a little bit different. Okay. So the thread that I saw, a couple of people sent this to me and it's nice and easy, nice and simple. It's just, why are you single? Okay. Why are you single? And then I went through some of the comments. Some of them are jokes. Right. First one. I said, I hope so. Right. First one, straight to the point. I'm too clapped for the peng, too peng for the clapped. Hey. Just middle. Yeah. Stuck in the middle with you. Okay. Second, some chick just said, there were...

First of all, there were scorned women in these comments. Not surprised. Men like men more than women. Interesting. Indeed. Interesting. One chick said, and this is actually, this is good. So she said, it's where I live. They drink tap water here.

Fair. Bro? Fair. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro. Fair, fair. Yeah, she's literally saying, if I want to be in a relationship, I need to move. Yeah, facts. Because these men here are butters. Yeah. Drinking up tap water. Fair play. Damn. All right. One guy said, I don't have enough money for a relationship. He's honest. Fact? He's honest. Yeah. 2023 relationships, I can't afford it. I can't afford it. I'm staying single. Fair play.

Fair play. That's horrible as well though. That's actually horrible because I was actually having a conversation with one of my boys who is single. And he was telling me like, this dating game is actually expensive. And he's like, bro, he can't qualify for the girls that he actually wants to date. Qualify. Fam. Wow. He can't qualify the girls he actually wants to date because their idea of a date, which is not even like crazy, by the way,

But what they want to do is like, oh, like let's take a trip into London and just go for dinner or something like that. And it's like the trip, especially if they want to get a hotel all the time. Like we're talking like typical, like even a modest London hotel, we're talking like 200 pound a night for a modest one. Then dinner, let's say dinner is what modest dinner. And like they said, we're going central.

250 quid for the two of you for a couple of drinks in there as well. So we're already like 500 pound in. Then let's say we go for drinks after dinner, couple of cocktails, young alchemist. That's an easy extra hundred quid. 600 pounds deep before travel. Yeah. Yeah. For a date. Yeah. That's crazy.

600 pounds. That's actually crazy. So yeah, he said, bro, I can't afford it. Yeah. I can't afford to date the baddies. He said they're down, but they want to do fun stuff and I can't afford it. That's one date a month. One date, bro. You don't even know if you like this ting. Facts. You don't even know if she likes you like that. Bro. Yeah. Yeah. Insane, bro. Um,

I don't have enough money for the red ship. Right. Some girl said, none of your fucking business. Scorned. Wow. None of your fucking business. Then don't reply. Yeah, bro. Then don't reply. This joke wasn't for you. Wow. My girlfriend doesn't know who I am. That was me and Renchik back in the day. And who?

My like year, my year seven through 11 crush. - Oh yeah. - Ultimate crush. - We used to walk past the yard or something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. She went to the school next to my yard and would walk past my yard and my school ended slightly earlier than hers. So by the time I actually made it back to my yard, she was just walking past my yard. And it was like, what's that song? Like ♪ Why do birds suddenly appear ♪ ♪ Bro every time ♪ Yeah fam.

Every day. Damn. It was a crush. It was a crush, bro. And the school she went to was called Wren, which is why I call her Wrenchick. Wrenchick, Wrenchick. I never knew her name. When I found out her name was Lauren, I imagined a life together. You man don't get it. I imagined an entire life together. Oh my God. Wow. And that went down in flames. That's jokes. Yeah. Wow. Right. The men I attract are terrifying.

Terrifying. Terrifying. Damn, that's... It's weird because even though she's saying that, she's the common denominator. She's the common denominator, but depending on... Bro, if she lives in fucking Lewisham and she's got cheeks. There, yeah. Predatory. She could work at a library, but with her mouth. Them prayers are scary. Lewisham.

Swierd Bro She doesn't have a choice Oh fair play Yeah damn Someone said why are you single I have no idea Fair Fair Low key DeLulu But also fair Fair I have no idea That's one of them ones that are like I would love to date me I would love to date me But no one's out here trying to date me Yeah no one's out here trying to date me I would love to date I'm a nice guy Yeah I don't know Yeah

Why are you single? Because love don't live here anymore. Oh my days. In pieces. Shattered. In a bin. Shattered. Why are you single? She wrote, because I beat niggas. I beat niggas. Yeah, stay single. Yeah, yeah, stay single. That's facts. Scary talk. Facts. Stay single. Right. The final reply to this one was from, it was actually on Shadebra. Okay. And some girl replied, right?

I don't know who she is. People know who she is, but I don't know who she is. For context, in case people are like, some girl. I don't know who she is. Right. So why are you single? Tweet reply. Because I would be unfaithful, but always deny. I would drive a man to the point he questions his own sanity, but I wouldn't feel bad. I would continue to deny. I would persuade him that it's all in his head when really it's not. I am a terrible woman.

Damn, I think I saw that response. Yeah. Let me see the thingy. Yeah, I don't know who that is either, but I definitely saw that response. Damn. The fact that she put that on her main profile. Bro. Honesty, fair. I rate Jesus Christ. That is a confession. That is a huge confession.

it's a huge confession and you know the peakest thing about it you'll probably get more man from that because man just see that as a company yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah see if you could cheat on me see if you see you can cheat on me yeah you ain't had a man like me boy you won't change you you won't tell me that's actually hilarious that's pathetic how how sad are we how deluded and sad are we that if a girl saw a guy that says this

Red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag, red

Because I saw a shade bar. I didn't see the thread properly. But in light of that, yeah. In my younger years, 18, 19, I was that same...

Not as dark as that. Yeah, that's a confession. Not as dark as that. That's a confession. But yeah, definitely in my gaslight bag. Yeah, my unfaithful gaslight bag. 18, probably between the ages of 18 and 20. Yeah. Yeah. Not a phase I'm proud of. Yeah. And I would be...

Lazy with it. With the gaslighting and the lighting or with the... Lazy with the evidence. Okay, okay. And then I pour that gaslighting on. I pour it on, bro. Wow, like literal fuel. Yeah, okay. Okay, say less. Yeah, yeah, horrible. Yeah, I'm a terrible woman. Damn!

I hate it. I have to rate it. I have to rate it, bro. Damn. But yeah. That's crazy. That's that thread. Right. Trash news, please, Rem. Yeah, boy. So I want to take us back quickly before I start on the trash news I have for today to last week's ep on 341. Do you remember this story? Yes. Right. So development from the comments that I was reading. Okay.

This 30 million that she unalived her man for. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't even exist. Oh, no. He fell for some scam of some sort. They both obviously believed it. And that 30 million wasn't even there. Oh, my God. For her to even work him off to even receive. Also, they weren't married. So even if...

Even if it did exist and he passed away. Yeah, she won't get nothing. She wasn't going to get that anyway. So the whole thing was just a mess. So there's a human life in the bin because of this bullshit. Because of a scam. That's uncalled for. That's ridiculous, man. Yeah, that plot got thicker. Damn. That's really, really, really disgusting. Damn. Damn. That was peak. All right. So today's...

Trash news. Grinch fetish. A woman reveals her Grinch fetish is so intense that it's caused problems in her relationship. I'm not surprised. That's a kick. It really is. What? Check this out. A woman has revealed her Grinch fetish on Reddit and has explained her struggle to get her boyfriend on board with the idea.

The thing, she said, the thing is, I don't want to hear about the Grinch or listen to the Grinch or watch the Grinch. I want to be fucked by the Grinch. And for the record, this is common among women, she explained. Bro, who's the chick in the Grinch? Betty Boo who? She was down for Donnie. I don't remember. Bro, his little school crush ting, when he was picking up Christmas trees and dashing at people and flipping ting, my girl was roared.

I remember that now. She was blushing, my bro. She fancied the Grinch. I think it's Betty Boo Hoo. I'm not sure. It's one of them rhymey names, bro. Say less. My boyfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told him straight up. I told him to put on the greenest, silkiest Grinch costume he could find, kidnap me from my bed on Christmas Eve and then ravage me in front of the Christmas tree.

- I mean, I hear it, but I'm not doing it. - It's a lot of it. - She knows what she wants. - She said this is what I want for Christmas. - That's crazy. - I'm not gonna lie to you man, I might do it. - Yeah, that's crazy. - On a secret thing? - It's only me and her in the car as well. - Wow. - That's crazy to me. - Right, read the rest, read the rest, read the rest. - The fact that he's good with dogs and experienced trauma at a young age makes me want that long fuzzy dick even more, she said.

Because he's experienced trauma at a young age. She's sick. She's twisted, bro. She's sick in the head. The beat must be insane. It must be insane. That squelch is nuts. That squelch is nuts. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Damn. Yeah. Ooh, wee. What's the comment saying? Fetishes can get...

Super crazy. On behalf of all women, this is not common. Oh, facts. I'm surprised, bro. Every single day we stroll further away from God.

Jesus. Damn. I guess the Grinch's heart wasn't the only thing that grew three sizes that day. Strong comment. This is the reddest green flag ever. Yeah, that gif is jokes. Yeah, it is. I use that a couple times. Yeah, that's that naughty one. That's that naughty one. That's jokes. Oh my goodness. Some things we keep to ourselves. Fair. Yeah, some things you take to the grave. I don't know. Wow. Dan's a hater.

Dan, I had someone who said, sound familiar. Oh, wow. Wow. Let's see the reply. Shut up. Stop, stop, stop, stop. On big Twitter, you know. Oh, my God. All right, man. Like, well, we don't kink show movie. No, we don't. But yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. I would. I would probably agree to it.

if she spoke to me like that. - With chest. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, with chest. But once I'm actually getting dressed, my boner's gone. And I've been thinking this is stupid. I'm not doing this. - Because also like, if I'm putting this thing on, one, there has to be like a cock access. And I'm not putting that on. Do you see what I'm saying? I'm not putting on some tight ting and my cock's just sat. Do you know what I mean?

Like I would feel so exposed. - I couldn't see myself in the mirror. - Do you know what I mean, guys? - Green fuzzy silk ting and black cock out in the middle. - Just cock just out. Because I'm not, obviously her fantasy, she wants to be fucked in all green. So I'm not pulling my ting down to my knees. It just ruins the ting for her. It's buzz. - Just black tics swinging in between my legs. - Just between some green quads. Buzz, man. - That's yuck. I'll say, babe, nah. - What if, what if,

So she's talking to you on this crud. She's helping you put the suit on. So she's not, you haven't gone away, you're in separate ways and you're not going to the bathroom to put this on and you've got to stay in game. You're both in the room and she's helping you get dressed into this suit and she's talking this smack to you here. Yeah, that's another story. That's a different story. That's a good access point. There are only two ways it can happen. That way, but it's also one of them ones where

I would have to somewhat break character because I don't know what else she wants me to put. Bar these tights. Yeah. And like maybe the skin top. What else is there? Yeah. You'll have to be there like, you're a mean one. I have to play along. Do you see what I'm saying? I have to play along. Yeah. Or if I really wanted to please her and I was like, fuck it, tonight's the night and she's just come back from work or something, I'll be ready in the outfit. Yeah. Because I can like psych myself up and just wait. I'll cut a ting in the gooch area so my cock is at. Yeah.

and just wait. Do you know what I mean? - Oh, should be gassed. - I would get ravaged that day. - But that PNC? - Oh, I'd burn it. I'd burn the suit. This ain't even the yard. - Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. That's crazy. - That is nuts. - I've never heard of that kink in my life. - Yeah, me neither. - Common to women.

- That's a lie. - That's a lie. - Yeah, I didn't see anyone co-sign that in the comments, but fair. - It is what it is. - Okay, cool. Right, you've got a recommendation to finish us off, bro. - I do have a recommendation. This week's recommendation is on Paramount Plus. It's called Yellow Jackets.

I've heard of it. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. Someone told me to watch this, you know? Yellow Jackets is, it's a decent show, bro. So far, so good. I'm locked in. Every episode is an hour and I'm locked in. So it's about a group of girls. I'm only on season one. There are characters I'm not seeing yet. I think I'm on episode six, maybe on season one. So it's about a group of high school girls. They're a football team.

and they made their way to nationals. Nationals is elsewhere, so they have to take a plane. Long story short, it goes back and forth from like 1996, I believe it is, where there were teenagers, to 2021, where they're adults. The casting is really good. So they're teenagers to the adults casting. Buff. Very, very, very, very buff. Long story short, these men...

get into a plane crash or the site happens with a plane and it crashes on an on an island some remote island they don't know where they are they're trying to get help all these things and they're finding their way to survive it's like eight girls two guys and a coach damn and that's that's all there is they're finding a way to survive and they flip back and forth with the stories of how they're dealing with the situation in like 1996 i can't remember what year it was and how

their lives have changed when it flips back to 2021. - I like stuff like that. - And how everything is like meshed together. There's one chick in there called Misty. - I was just, Christina, Christina Richie. Oh, is that the home girl that used to be in Casper? - Fair play to where she looks. Oh no, that is, that's the older Misty. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So the younger Misty, scroll down. - Oh yes, yeah. - You. Both, to be fair, both.

Cracked. Oh, you man haven't seen a side of a human like this. Oh, damn. She is tapped. All right, I want to lock in. Tapped. I want to lock in. In the first episode, you see these men. You don't see their faces, but these men are eating humans. Oh, God. On the island. You don't see who it is. These men are ravaging humans. Oh, they're starving. Bro. Okay. This show is good. Okay, okay, okay. How many episodes are you in? I'm...

Six episodes in Okay And there's ten per season so far How many seasons? There's two seasons I'm like Okay Say less Say less It's a good show Someone has told me to watch this It's a really really really good show The cast looks decent as well The cast is good man Elijah Wood you know He ain't had a dub in a minute

- I've funny, I'm gonna see, maybe he's either tail end of season one or season two. I haven't seen Elijah Winnie yet. But when I say that the cross pollination is some of these things is crazy. - Okay, decent. - Crazy, yeah. It's good. It's a good show. - All right, man, gang, Paramount Plus? - Paramount Plus, yeah. - All right, gang, gang, gang, I'm down, I'm down. All right, man. Well, in that case, again, guys, just to reiterate. - Yeah, man. - We're really, really, really, really, really gassed about the show of the O2.

please try your absolute best to make it down because we're not joking. The show's called The Biggest You've Ever Had. Pause. But it really, really is that in like mind, body and spirit. Like we're putting everything we can possibly imagine into making this like such a life-changing spectacle to everyone who comes. Facts. So when the tickets drop, make sure you buy them and let's, like I said, set it out in a day. We're going to hold our lips. Facts. Anyway, love of love. Go, go, go.

Now streaming on Hulu.

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