cover of episode The Lion's Mane - Part One

The Lion's Mane - Part One

2024/7/16
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Sherlock & Co.

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夏洛克·福尔摩斯
渡轮工作人员
玛丽安娜
约翰·华生
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约翰·华生:作为一名犯罪播客,我记录了我和夏洛克·福尔摩斯一起破案的经历。这次,我们前往苏格兰偏远的费亚拉岛调查一起神秘的死亡事件。 玛丽安娜:我协助约翰·华生和夏洛克·福尔摩斯进行调查,提供必要的支持和后勤保障。 莫德·贝拉米:我的未婚夫哈里斯·斯塔格赫斯特在费亚拉岛离奇死亡,他的尸体上有明显的酷刑痕迹,我认为这并非意外,而是谋杀。我来到伦敦寻求你们的帮助,希望能够查明真相。 夏洛克·福尔摩斯:通过对莫德的陈述和现场证据的分析,我推断哈里斯的死因可能与费亚拉岛上最近发生的事件有关,例如白鲸的出现和岛上居民之间的紧张关系。我将利用我的推理能力和观察力,找出隐藏的线索,揭开这起案件背后的真相。 渡轮工作人员:我向调查人员提供了关于费亚拉岛的信息,包括岛屿的地理环境、居民的社会关系以及一些当地传说。同时,我也提醒他们注意北海的危险性,以及岛上曾经发生过的类似事件。 约翰·华生:在前往费亚拉岛的旅途中,我和夏洛克·福尔摩斯讨论了案件的细节,并对莫德提供的线索进行了分析。我们推测哈里斯的死可能与岛上某些人的利益冲突有关,而这些人的身份和动机有待进一步调查。 玛丽安娜:在旅途中,我负责处理一些后勤工作,例如预订交通工具和住宿。同时,我也协助约翰·华生和夏洛克·福尔摩斯收集信息,并对收集到的信息进行整理和分析。 莫德·贝拉米:我向调查人员提供了更多关于哈里斯的个人信息,以及他与岛上其他居民的关系。我描述了哈里斯生前的一些行为和变化,以及他与岛上其他居民之间可能存在的矛盾。 夏洛克·福尔摩斯:我通过观察和推理,发现了案件中的一些关键线索,例如哈里斯的潜水装备、他与其他人的冲突以及岛上一些不寻常的现象。我将这些线索联系起来,试图构建一个完整的案情脉络。 渡轮工作人员:在渡轮上,我向调查人员讲述了费亚拉岛的一些传说和故事,这些故事可能与案件有关。同时,我也提醒他们注意岛上居民之间的复杂关系,以及他们可能隐藏的秘密。

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Maud Bellamy, Harris's fiancée, travels from the remote Scottish island of Fjara to London seeking help with the mysterious death of her fiancé. Harris, once popular, became increasingly isolated after a conflict related to a beached whale. The islanders' reaction to his death raises suspicions, leading Maud to believe there's more to the story.
  • Maud Bellamy seeks help in London regarding her fiancé's death.
  • Harris Staghurst's popularity declined after a conflict involving a beached whale.
  • Fjara's isolated community and close-knit nature contribute to a tense atmosphere.
  • Maud suspects foul play despite the death being ruled an accident.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

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Hello everyone, Stamford here. Now John has told me to tell you to go and check out patreon.com/sherlockandco.

Is that right? Yep. There, you'll gain access to loads of bonus material. Plus, you'll get adventures in full, so you don't have to wait, and they will be ad-free. How good's that? Now, I know a few of you enjoyed my singing a few adventures back, so I'm going to give you a little treat. I've prepared a song for you. Here we go. Ha, no. Oh, come on. Greetings, people of Earth. John Watson here.

I am just jumping into your ears to give you a brief warning about some depictions of human remains. That's about it. I had some complaints, actually, about my disclaimers becoming spoilers in themselves. So I may start watering these down and moving my warnings into the episode description. This is not as interesting or insightful as it sounded in my head before I started this. Shutting up now. Actually, just to note, there are some...

beautiful accents in this one. So if you are an international listener and you fancy it, you are absolutely welcome to listen with a transcript. You can get those at sherlockandco.co.uk. Enjoy the adventure of the Lion's Mane. MUSIC

My name is Dr John Watson, once of the British Army Northumberland Fusilier Regiment, now a true crime podcaster based in central London. I don't have much experience in criminology, so this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know. Join me as I document the adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock and Co. Mariana speaking. Yes, sorry, we already have a pension plan. Okay, thank you. Bye. We have a pension plan? Yes. Do we? Yes, we do. How come? Because I set it up, John. That's how come. I'll get that. I'll head out anyway.

Hello! Hi, you're John Watson, aren't you? I am. It's nice to put a face to the voice. Yeah. You're a fan of the show, are you? Big fan, aye. I think it's great, really do. Cool, cool. Do you want to come in? Oh, can I? Into 221B? Well, I mean, we're hanging out in 221A right now, so... Is Mariana there?

Yeah, yeah, Sherlock too. Oh my god. Come on in. Come on, come this way. Right, that is Mariana there. Hi. And that's Sherlock. Hello. Mariana and Sherlock, this is... Oh god, it would have been polite if I got your name, wouldn't it? Maud. This is Maud. Maud. Big fan of the show. Oh, great. Well, thanks for listening, Maud.

Do you live in London? No, I live in Scotland. Wow, okay. Oh, you're visiting on holiday? No, she's not. No, I'm not. So what brings you across the border, down into the big smoke? Across the sea and across the border. It's weird, isn't it? He can do that. Figure things out from nothing. It's certainly weird. Yeah, yeah. Do you maybe want Maud to answer the questions, though, mate? Not particularly probing questions, Watson, for a potential client. Oh, okay.

Oh, you... Is everything alright, Maud? I just... Sorry. We... You were just a fan coming to... Well, say hi. It's both, maybe. I don't know. You don't have to be polite. Okay, so, um, my fiancé is dead. Maud, I am so sorry. Sorry, Maud. Do you, um, do you want to take a seat? No, I'll... I'll stand. I feel like I've been sat down for a month.

Ferries and trains and things. No, yeah, of course, of course. Was he ill, your fiancé? Don't think so, no. You have seen it. His body. What did you see, Maud? Your kitchen feels bigger than ours. It's because I don't put a table in mine. Oh, yeah. Yeah, where do you eat? Well, either at your table with you upstairs, or if I'm working it'll be at my desk, or coffee table. Watching crime shows. Exactly. Lovely. Lovely.

She's young, isn't she? Twenty, I think she said. Brutal.

Brutal. And you said hot chocolate, Maud? Yes, please. Do you want me to sort of froth up some milk? Make it all posh. That would be amazing. Thank you so much. Hey, I aim to please. I've also got marshmallows here too. Do you want those on top? Aye, lovely. Thank you. We've had clients ask for tea, for coffee, for a beer, for even a vodka once, but I think this might be our first time.

Hot chocolate with marshmallows request. Yeah, I think you'd be right. I'm just wondering if there might be a duty of care issue here? How so? Do you think we maybe, maybe need a social worker with us to conduct this interrogation? Inter... What do you want to...

Waterboard her with the hot chocolate and hang her up by her ankles. John! There's no interrogation. This is just a chat to see how we can help. But we're obviously going to be putting her through a lot if we're going to be talking about her dead fiancé. She's come all this way, Mariana. No, I know. Hey, hey, hey, don't worry. I will make sure this chat is light and doesn't head anywhere too dark or gruesome.

And your fiancé's corpse. Would you say the blood was more of an ooze or watery? Sherlock, just... can you hold fire? I am obtaining important details. There you go, Maud. I wanted a hot chocolate as well. Yeah, I know that, but we only had one sachet, and I think Maud deserves it. You could buy more. I could, but right now I'm working. Working by refusing to hear details about the case. No, I'm...

I will hear about the case, but in a responsible way that respects Maud's feelings and what she's been through. So what do I have?

Tea? Yes, a cup of tea. Here. There's nothing stopping you putting marshmallows on tea. Fine, I will give you stupid marshmallows. It's not always like this. No, it's nice. I like it. It is like this quite often, but he cuts out the majority of it. I like these bits. I think you should leave them in. Then, Maud, for you, I will. How about that? Ta-da! Tea with marshmallows for the big child. Thank you very much, Mrs Hudson.

Ah, look at that. What a concoction. There's British people out there that would have you hung, drawn and quartered for what you've done to a good cup of tea there, mate. Maud, I think what's best is we get a full picture. A sort of landscape of what is going on. Who you are. Then we can zoom in on certain details as and when Sherlock or even John and myself require them. Aye. Yeah, that sounds fine.

Oh, thank you. Glad you like it. Fiara?

Wow. Fyara? Aye, so Fyara is a wee island between Orkney and Shetland, very north. And just for our listeners, if you could sort of explain, those are islands? Aye. So Orkney is an archipelago. Weren't that a skill? So lots of islands off Scotland's north coast. Then even further north, you've got the Shetland Islands. And we're between those two. Very isolated. Very, very isolated. Right.

You might sometimes get tourists popping by, coming to see the old Viking ruins. Oh, Vikings. That's cool. See, that's exactly what I mean. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah, you hear Viking ruins and you just want to see it. Yeah, it's funny. It's like a limbo between the two worlds up there. So close to Old Norse, but so close to New Scotland. It's funny like that.

Plenty of Icelandics and Norwegians settled on the island. We've got lots of Viking names of places still there, and plenty of burial sites and old bronze longhouses and brochs. Brochs? Broch. Borg. Like, stronghold. Old Viking defence tower, basically. Like a fort. Okay, that? That is really cool. Aye. So, that's Fyara. It's pretty.

What does it mean? Fyara? I don't know. I just... We all grew up calling it that. Must be Old Scots or something. It's Old Norse. It's used to describe a low tide. But it literally translates as to ebb and flow back. Huh. Well, there you go. Cool, yeah. So, Fyara...

Erm, yeah. Aye, right. So, tiny island. Tiny wee town, as you can imagine, right? A little school, then when you're older you go to bigger schools in Orkney or Shetland or even mainland Scotland if you wanted to. Bit of a slog on the ferries and all that, but people do it. Or you learn from home. Or you leave. Lots of people leave. Course, yeah. Everybody kind of knows everybody. Things tangle together a wee bit, you know? Big tentacles of gossip and scandal and chatter can kind of run between everybody.

Constrict us, you know? You can never stay in your own business. It works in good ways too, I suppose. We're bound in trust, friendship, love. I just... I don't think it's healthy. Well, it's marshmallows and cream, but the chocolate is 70% cacao. She means the isolated island leaving. Ah. How so, Maude? It puts a lot of pressure. On residents, I mean. To serve the community. Put the island first. When you fall out of favour with them...

You may as well have been banished. Have you fallen out of favour with the Maud? No, no. But I fear my fiancé may have. It started with the White Whale. It washed up on Filworth Bay about six months ago. Dead. And it just... That sent Harris crazy. He was so angry. Things started to get tense with him and the island folk. And now he's dead. And now he's dead. Aye. Aye.

Sometimes it takes an outsider to see the truths, you know. Are we the outsiders? Mm-hmm. Talk to us. Maybe more about your fiancé, but not his death. Okay, so my fiancé is Harris Staghurst. Six years older than me. He worked for my dad and brother. In what capacity? Well, um...

Have you heard of Bellamy Barnacles? Yeah. Yeah, they're in Tesco. I've got the, um, the potted shrimp in the fridge. That's us. That's my family. No. Hi. Oh, of course. Shetland and Fiarra and Orkney. Oh, that's...

That is crazy. Well done you guys. Thanks. So, Harris worked on the main fish farm. A shellfish hatchery. A spat, basically. A spat? Like a fallout? No, a spat. That's how oysters grow. From a spat. When you grow lots of those spats together, they start to form oysters. Then you get lots of oysters in a bed or a reef so you can make them and farm them. And that's what Harris did for us. And he was properly popular.

Everybody loved him. Pause. Pause? I will request that we have total honesty, even when it does involve recollecting over a deceased loved one. What do you mean? Rather like your oysters decorating a reef. So many positive embellishments often cling to the deceased that we no longer see them under that barnacled surface of praise and admiration.

Mrs. Hudson, your true crime television shows. What do they always say about the murdered person? What do they always say? Yes, in the interviews.

I... Oh, I know where he's going with this. They lit up the room. Everybody adored them. Why would anybody want to hurt them? Et cetera, et cetera. Exactly. But everyone really did love him. Why did you come to London by yourself? Because I wanted to speak to you for help. You could email. I wanted to make sure I got the story right. Where are your parents? Where are the rest of the Bellamys? Where are his family? At home. Do they not seek urgent assistance in the investigation of Harris's death? It's... No, it's not like that. Is it not?

Sherlock, maybe if we just... Alright, okay, just wait. Wait a sec. So Harris was always loved by the community. Like, always. But, I don't know, maybe a month or so ago, there starts to be this mood on the island between a few people. My parents, the guys that worked on the fish farm, the local councillor of Fyara. Harris just went from being super outgoing and down the pub most nights and doing his runs or whatever to just being in the house. Hi, you must be Archie.

Well, lovely. He senses when people are sad. Oh. So, yeah, even his mum and dad have been off with him. Short and mean and just scolding him. His life decisions threatening to kick him out of the house. So he lives with his parents? There's not much money on the island, really. Outside of your family? Oh, forgive me, but that's...

Not a cheap watch. And that's a Burberry bag. And hat. Right. Yeah. So, um... Yes, that's true. We're very lucky, really. Um... Anyway, Harris never told me he was doing this, but, um... I knew. A fair bit of the island knew. That he was scuba diving. That night. Blimey. So, I'd seen him going out from Filworth Bay. I'd seen him wander out a couple of times when staying at my house, so... I followed him one time.

He went down to the beach, opened his hut where he stored his gear. What's his gear? Scuba stuff. So, I tracked him down to Filworth Bay. That's like the biggest single beach we have. Mostly shingle and rock. Then when the tide goes out, you've got these big rock pools that appear. Anyway, he went down there. And then he just gets in this shouting match with some guy. I can barely see either of them at this point. It's like pitch dark and I'm all the way up the bluff. I hear them fighting, so...

I mean, like, I'm tiny, so there's no way I'm going to be able to help, right? So I went down the Lion's Mane. That's the pub, local pub. Because Ian Murdoch would usually be there around this time. But he wasn't. Ian's his best pal. And I thought he could help. I couldn't find anyone, so I ran to the beach and it was quiet. Neither of them was there. Harris was nowhere and the guy was shouting that was gone. And, um, the next day, I got a call. Oh, God. Hey, it's okay. It's okay. They found his boat.

Way out at sea. And he was in it. Dead. I ran down to the beach because I knew they'd drag it back to shore. I could see the police in that and, oh man. I looked in the boat and there he was. Bloody. Bruised. Wet suit was all torn. His skin, it was like these thick purple lashes against them. Like he'd been whipped and burned.

It was swollen and inflamed, these giant welts and blisters leaking with pus and blood and it was just... it was awful. It was awful. That's not it. What else, Maud? He... he had started to engrave a message on the side of the boat. What did it say? Lion. Lion. Do you believe it to be murder, Maud? He'd been scuba diving since he was ten.

This ain't no accident. But it's being investigated and reported that way. Is that correct? Aye, correct. I saw his body. This was on purpose. He was tortured. I'm really sorry. No, no. Don't be sorry. I just... I don't know what to do. Something happened. Something changed and now he's dead. Then everyone is acting like this is some accident and it bloody isn't.

It's just convenient for them, ain't it? Oh, that guy we fell out with. Oh aye, he drowned. What a bloody shame. Anyway, here's your new ferry timetable for autumn. Such bollocks. Such total bollocks. Intriguing. Intriguing.

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Don't go chasing what the fucking hell. Watson, I've been thinking. How did you get in here? I was in the shower. You're fully clothed. Yes. I got rather distracted in thought. So you just stood in the shower cubicle in your clothes for...

What? When did you come in here? Two hours ago. Very normal, mate. Very, very normal indeed. Well done, you. I look forward to picking up the gong for most normal podcast at the British Podcast Awards, mate. Thanks. Hey. Hudson. Sorry, what? I'm in my pants. You messaged me to come in here? What are you talking about? Look. Come into the bathroom. Sherlock and I are discussing the case. I never sent that. There's your phone. There.

I'm done with it now. Yeah, thanks. Okay, okay. What's... What's going on? Teeth are done, I've washed my face, and I was just about to sit down and have a wee. Sit down? Stand. I don't do sit down wees. You do before bed. Right, that's... Stop it, that's enough. Why do you sit down and wee before bed? Can everyone just stop? I don't do sit... So, before bed, I do that because...

I don't know, I like to, you know, browse my phone, relax after a long day. It is most peculiar. It's not. Men can do sit-down wheeze if they want. The case, I mean. Oh, no, no, no, no, wait, don't talk about the case, because then in the edit it's really difficult to remove the wee stuff. A wetsuit torn to shreds would suggest a creature, perhaps a reef. But the burning of the skin... And whip marks, she said...

He had whip-like scars on him. Well, how about the weather today? We're talking about the case. Stop it. An adept scuba diving hobbyist and a valuable member of the community until suddenly it all changes. They shun him and his diving skills abandon him.

Very curious. La la la la la la la. This is unusable. Stop. Can we go in the lounge, please? We can recreate this whole conversation. I've been looking into something and I know this sounds crazy, but we could leave here in 30 minutes. It's 10.30 at night. And...

We can get a train from King's Cross. Houston has some stupid engineering works or something. We go overnight to Inverness in Scotland. We'd be there before midday. Then we drive to John O'Groats and we'll be on a ferry to Fiarra at 3pm. What about Archie? Oh, Wiggins will house it. Hmm. Why are you both staring at me? What do you think? Can I go over the case details briefly in private? Yes, you can.

And you? Can I put some trousers on? Yes, you can. John, please, just take the picture. Oh, no.

Well, the camera's not working. It says you're too nerdy and embarrassing. John? We really must go, otherwise we'll miss the train. I know, I know. John, take the picture. Smile, please. Yes, yes, I'm smiling. Now hurry. Why? Because there's people looking at you and judging you, as they should. What is this? It's Platform 9 and 3 quarters. It's a trolley stuck in a wall. Oh my God, have you taken the picture yet? OK, say cheese. Say overly saturated book franchise for children. Oh, shut up.

OK, OK, taking it. I'm really not quite clear on what exactly is going on. Er, yeah, so that brick wall there is a gateway to a platform and railway line that transports teenage witches and wizards to a boarding school in Scotland.

Can I just confirm you haven't been accessing my medication? Well, you can call it medication, if you like, but it's still drug abuse, mate, OK? OK, come on, we have to go. Yeah, we do, yeah, but can we stop on the way and get some Bertie Bellen's Every Flavour Whatever's from Spindlegrots, please? Oh, if you mean Gringotts, that's a bank, not a candy shop. Are the wizard parents going to be affected by the VAT loophole on fee-paying schools out of interest? Hilarious, John. Hope they are. Hope the...

Hogwarts PTA is up in arms I hope Harry gets taxed on that inheritance that those goblins give over to him as well outrageous fortune for a 12 year old what's

What's he going to spend it on? A broom? Four quid in Wilco. Yeah, because a Nimbus 2000 is exactly what they sell in Wilco. Bet you could get a cauldron in the middle of Lidl. And you could rescue an owl from the RSPCA as well. I feel like I'm having some sort of auditory seizure. It's a book, mate. Harry Potter. Fiction. Ah, I see. Hear that, Mariana? Fiction. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. This way. Come on. Hello.

But I don't understand. If you catch the snitch, you get 150 points. Yeah, rubbish, innit? Oh my god, we are going to miss the train. And the snitch ends the game. But what if you're losing by over 150 points?

You'd catch the snitch and end the game, confirming your defeat. Told you, mate. Rubbish. Oh, I am cool. I am John and people are not allowed to like things. People are allowed to like stuff. I'm just saying, Quidditch is stupid. It's not stupid. Why is it played on a pitch? What? If they fly. Ha ha ha. He's got you there.

Oh my god. In the door. Go. Yes. See? Oh my god. Still two minutes to spare. Oh, great. You know, those tickets cost £200 each. £200 each?

God almighty, where's my solid gold bedchamber then? The Caledonian Sleeper. Ah, yeah, so, as Sherlock points out... Hello, listeners, by the way. Hi, listeners. Sherlock? Yes?

Hello. As Sherlock points out, we are on board the Caledonian Sleeper, which is a train that runs between London and Scotland. It's a service. Sorry? It's not a train. It's a service. The train is a Class 73, rebuilt in 2014 to replace the 67s on the Sleeper service. OK. And these are Mark 5 carriages.

Together, with their line and timetable, they make up the Caledonian Sleeper Service. Sherlock likes trains, everybody. So, yeah, we are heading down... Coach E. Coach E, where we will find our room slash cabin slash whatever it is, and we will have a bed each. And in a mere ten hours, we will find ourselves... Ah, here we go. Oh, nice. Wonderful. Oh, this is great. It's like a little hotel room on wheels.

So yeah, in ten hours we will get to Inverness. For those not familiar with Scotland, Inverness is a city. It's right up in the north end of the Scottish mainland and yeah, getting that far north takes time but once we are there we will be able to do a short-ish drive to our ferry destination and onwards to Fiarra.

And the mysterious death of Harris Stackhurst. Oh, you're having the top bunk, are you? I am, yes. Oh. Is there a problem? No, no, no. Just wanted to check. Hi, you're having that bed, are you? Oh, yeah. So I get the one underneath the insomniac. Yes, you do. Great.

Great. Bags, where are you putting them? In that closet on the side. Yep. And then that door there is a little bathroom. Oh, now that's nice. That is nice. Oh, you need to pee, John. Maybe you should sit down and have one. Nope, we're not doing this again. Mic is going off. Hello there, listeners. I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd chat to you guys. Just in my bottom bunk. Those two have passed out and I'm just sort of...

Yeah, peering out the window every now and again. The train is scything through the British countryside. Scything? Slicing? Something. It's going along. The train is going along nicely and it's a beautiful clear night sky. The moon is beaming its soft white shine as we bounce the faint glow of streetlights and headlamps right back at it.

Our gentle earthly gleam of lounges and bedrooms late at night, the pulse of flickering televisions fluttering against windows, reds and ambers of traffic lights and roadworks, blues and greens of electric car charging points and pedestrian crossings, the brilliant white shine of LEDs radiating that same shade of moonglow, and all the while this train zips up the spine of Britain, transporting its dozing cargo to the frosty tip of this great island, Great Britain.

Named Great, of course, because it is the greater of the British islands. Greater meaning largest. It has become great in the other meaning, though, through thousands of years of history, innovation, humanity, cruelty, cock-up, courage, and all manner of baggage and attribute that any country bears or wields. It's quite a calming and beautiful experience, all this, to see the country this way. And then at some point in...

I'm going to guess the next 20 minutes, enter into another country. Scotland. One of the four countries inside this country. It's an experience I recommend. An expensive experience, but nonetheless a fun one. And you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I may be a bit tired tomorrow because I stayed up for this, but it's worth it. You know, it's definitely worth it. I can handle a bit of weariness, no problem.

So, John is asleep. Yeah. What a podcast host, huh? And as you can hear, if I... ...go over this side without dropping it in the ocean, hopefully, that is our ferry. A ferry from John O'Groats. That is like the really, really most northern point in Scotland's mainland. And that is where we boarded this ferry.

which has just sailed past the Orkney Islands and is now heading towards Fjara. Not long now. So, yeah. I had some seasickness earlier, but that is all gone now with the peppermint tea.

Sherlock! Sherlock is leaning over the side and I'm trying to ignore it as it's making me nervous. And, yeah, there is a kind of evening mist. Well, I mean late afternoon, maybe, kind of mist that we're sailing through. And I'm told by the staff that Fyara will start to emerge from it. You never get used to it. No? No, never.

Comes out at you like some lost world. Well, I'm definitely looking forward to it. How comes you guys are visiting Fyara? You're here to see the White Whales. Um, oh, it's for work. Oh, aye. What kind of work do you do then? We're investigators. Golly. Like criminology? That's right. I must have missed something...

You're not gonna find much work here. No crime on Fiara? A few drunken misdemeanors every now and then, but not a whole lot else. Well, that's why we're here. Is this about Harris? You knew Harris Duckhurst? I'm from Fiara, aren't I? Right.

Everybody knows everybody. That's right. You don't think it's suspicious? Did I let that on? You said there's no crime here. Aye, well, Harris, he... he was a tricky fella. Tricky? In... in what way? He could rub you up the wrong way. Came across like he was bigger than the island. Well, living out here on this big rock, you get used to that attitude, so...

He's nothing new in that respect. That generation, they want to change the world. Not easy today when you're stuck out on the edge of it, eh? Nah, mainlander, written all over him. Same for all his brothers that have been left. His ambition doesn't explain his death. Ah, that's where we disagree. You're floating on the toughest, nastiest waters in the world, pal.

Deep under there are crags and chasms of razor sharp rock. Darkness that'll swallow bright sunshine. Tides so strong they'll rip the hair off your head. Water so cold they'll turn your bollocks to wee hairy ice cubes. This part of the North Sea, they call it the Viking Bank. Ancient hills and mountains that may have even held people once upon a time.

Swallowed by the sea. Wow. Intense. Aye, nice to spook the tourists. But nice to remind ourselves from time to time. Respect the churn of the North Sea and the Viking Bank. Or end up like Harris Stackhurst. Or Fitzy McPherson. Who's Fitzy McPherson? He used to live on the island. And where is he now? About half a mile under this boat.

Hey, might have slagged Scotland off a bit to one of the blokes downstairs. I brought out some football chat, mentioned how shit they were during the Euros, which, to be fair, was being polite. They were absolute sh... John? I was just warning your colleagues here about your business trip. Oh, cool. Yeah, no, that's, um, that's great. Thank you. Look. Wow. Wow what? Aye. Oh my word. That is something. Welcome.

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