cover of episode 39 - Shoscombe Old Place - Part One

39 - Shoscombe Old Place - Part One

2024/6/25
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Sherlock and Watson's planned holiday turns into a mystery and crime-solving adventure when they visit Shoscombe Old Place.

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With an hour before boarding, there's only one place to go, the Chase Sapphire Lounge by the club. There, you can recharge before the big adventure or enjoy a locally inspired dish. You can recline in a comfy chair to catch up on your favorite show or order a craft cocktail at the bar.

Whatever you're in the mood for, find the detail that moves you with curated touches at the Chase Sapphire Lounge by the club. Chase, make more of what's yours. Learn more at chase.com slash sapphirereserve. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. Subject to credit approval. This episode is brought to you by Tinder. Meet cutes happen every day on Tinder, just not like they do in the movies. Hey, nice motorcycle. Do you have room for a plus one?

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Warning! This adventure contains no Mariana. That's right, nothing. Not a trace of Mariana at all. So if that's offensive to you, then you better switch off. Sorry, nothing I can do about it. You'll see why. Also, this episode is...

Well, this adventure is three parts. Again, if that offends you, nothing I can do about that. But I will remind you that this is independent, free media, so stop your whinging about multiple parts, otherwise in ten years' time you'll be paying 20 quid a month to some tech bro who solved all your problems. Sorry, this is just a rant, not an intro at all. Right, there's a bit of swearing in this episode, a bit of fruity slash saucy language at times, too. Nothing too bad. All right, then. Bye.

Oh, get a load of that Archie boy. That is, what is that again? That is an organic liver sausage. Thoughts? That's very flattering, but I didn't make it, you know, it came like that in the shop. Yeah, that's it. Lick your drool off the floor. Lovely stuff. Good thing about you, Archie, mate, is that you're basically a portable bin. You're like one of those vacuum cleaners, you know, little robot vacuums. Speaking of, I need to clean before we go, don't I, matey mate?

Will this conversation be going on any longer? Sorry? The dialogue between you and Archie. Will it be continuing for much longer, or is the conversation coming to an end? What's the problem? I'm trying to focus. On what? Your drug-induced coma? Well, no, actually. I'm amusing myself with this newspaper column. The Agony Aunt.

People write in with their woes and failings in life. The demise of their circumstances, the struggles of their relationships, the collapse of their livelihoods. Sounds very similar to our show, to be honest, mate. It's rather very good.

Do you want to give it a read? Sounds lovely, but no, I'm alright, thanks. Why not? This is what people amuse themselves with. There's a woman here who found her husband interfering with a man named Henry Hoover. Rather scandalous to give the gentleman's name away, I thought, but... No, sorry. No, I think she means he was interfering with a Henry Hoover. A what? It's a brand of vacuum cleaner. Mmm, good God. Yep.

And you've showed your hand there too. My hand. You've never vacuumed the flat because we have a Henry Hoover and on that note I'm going to do a proper clean. Then are we good to go? I haven't packed. For God's sake. Well, can you pack? Please. I will clean. Certainly, Watson. Apologies. Right. Dettol. Cloths. Cloths, cloths, cloths. And Hoover. Oh, Henry. Oh, I just can't look at you the same now, mate. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, you're going on eBay.

My name is Dr John Watson, once of the British Army Northumberland Fusilier Regiment, now a true crime podcaster based in central London. I don't have much experience in criminology, so this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know. Join me as I document the adventures of

of Sherlock Holmes. Hello everybody. Forgive me for this one. I mean, to be fair, you've had an episode every week since I started this thing. But it's holiday time. Mariana is off to sunny Spain for some father's day... well, belated father's day time with her dad.

And so Sherlock and I were trying to think how we could have a little glamorous holiday. Hollybobs, as people that drive Fiat 500s and drink rosé say. You say hollybobs? Yeah, but only ironically. Mm-hmm. How convenient for you. What are you doing? Using a microscope. On a bus? Mm-hmm. It's attached to your phone. It's digital. Oh. Oh, that's impressive. What are you looking at? Blue. Blue.

Okay, why? For a friend. Are we going to elaborate any further than that? A friend, the Met. They found a knife in the St Pancras case. Well, fragments of what they thought could be a knife. See in there, look. They've only given you that tiny piece? Not many pieces to go round. It's burned and charred. Look. Quite...

Yes. Remnants of a grip. Where's the glue? Everything to do with the crime was incinerated, including the knife. But you can see how these small blotches on the grip burned first and fiercest. Yeah. That's because it's more flammable and more toxic than the rest of it, so it was imprinted on the handle.

What is toxic and flammable when burnt? Glue? Exactly. Epoxy, if we're being as exact as possible. They're a glycidal residue, one of a number of things produced by the reaction of a cyclic alkene with a parasite. Cycloaliphatic exposides. Goodness, I feel sick. Yeah, yeah, maybe don't peer into a digital microscope while on a long coach journey. Good idea.

So why does the glue matter? Because the key suspect is a repair technician. He works mostly with metals and plastic.

Epoxy resins are the ideal glue for working with both. Fascinating. Do you wish to continue with your apology to the listeners? Yes, yeah, yeah. Where was I? Hollybobs. Yes, thanks. So, Sherlock and I, and this guy, that's Archie, in case you didn't hear that, are having a little break ourselves. I would have wanted somewhere abroad, to be honest, but we can't leave Mr Dog, so we're off to Swindon.

Yeah. Woo! Now, just to clarify, it's actually just outside Swindon, near Royal Wotton Bassett. Carol Watson is away on an actual holiday and she's kindly handed over Casa de Watson for me and Sherlock and Archie to kick back, chill out and become irritated in one another's presence. Miss the amenities we used to get bored and come home.

You never know, we might enjoy it as well. We're currently on a rail replacement bus, for those of you uninitiated in British rail travel. It's quite crap every now and then. We've been here, there and everywhere, haven't we, eh, this morning? No. That's just an expression. We've had a bit of a convoluted room, is all I'm... Yeah, so, yeah, rail replacement situation. So this bus is doing its best impression of a train right now and driving us down the M4 to Swindon bus station. And...

Swindon is a pleasant town, is it? You seem rather fond of it. Yeah, it is. It's pleasant, yeah. A bit run down in places, but otherwise it's very nice. I just wasn't expecting the man at the bus shelter to urinate on people's luggage. Yeah, no, that was a bit unexpected. But hey, he ran out of steam before he got to ours, didn't he? So here we are, mate. What do you think? This is where John Watsons are born and made. Well, born in Tockinham, made in the army.

Well, made and then broken in the army, then subsequently fixed at 221B Baker Street. You were born in this village? Yep, in that very house there. Who delivered the baby? Mum's a midwife, mate. She's got a connection. But more importantly, this spot right here is where I snogged Stacey Marsh and she let me...

You know. I don't know. You know. Why are you raising your eyebrows like that? Come on. Stop nudging me with your elbow. What are you talking about? Right, well, let's just say she didn't just get a double D in maths and French. You really are awful. She taught me a bit of French as well. You can't wink, so stop trying. And how would she teach you French if she got a D? And you don't need to record these vulgarities.

There's no episode. Hey, you see that bus shelter down there, by the way? Mm-hmm. That is where Lee Pierce ate a backpack. What do you mean he ate a backpack? In tiny chunks. Took him seven hours. He's regional manager at Tesco now. In charge of seven stores. You are an idiot. That's what happened, mate.

kitchen slash lounge and there's two bedrooms upstairs but she's also turned that room there which was a dining room the most obviously useless room in the world she's turned that into a little bedroom I'll be in my old room so you can either sleep in my mum's room yuck or you can sleep in the little room her room is nice and everything but the door bangs in the breeze at night and she has a clock in there

Little downstairs room it is. Lovely. Er, right. So, I was thinking we unpack, have a cup of tea on this nice sunny day out in the garden and head down to the Mallard. What's the Mallard? Pub. Understood. Oh, and Mum left me a voice note the other day that said something about what she wanted to do with the bins. Er, here. Eighteen minutes? Hmm? The voice note she left. Eighteen minutes. Yeah, I know. She waffles incessantly.

She just goes on and on and on. And I say it to her all the time. I'm like, Mum, you just keep talking. But she doesn't listen, does she? Because she just talks in circles. She never gets around to making any concise point, you know? Bouncing around from point to point to point. And then before you know it, she's gone from that bloke down the road to this place that didn't get planning permission, that thing she saw on the TV. Why are you looking at me like that? No reason. Right. Anyway, let's try and find the bit where she mentioned bins. She locks them sometimes. I can pick locks, Watson. I'd much rather that than 18 minutes of a voice note. Hello!

Let me skip forward 15 seconds. Nope. No. No.

Christ, here we go. Sake mother. Farrah. Mo Farrah. Thank God I'm not putting any of this in. Sake.

Oh, it's gone quiet on the... It's communism. Bollocks. £180 for a big shop. Nearly there. Hold on. Charlie whipped out his... Pino. The size of it, John. I was sloshed before you know it. OK, now we're definitely nearly there. He thinks she's gone missing. Such a scandal. Honestly, he's broken... Wait, stop. What? What's this? And Joe Mason was the one that told me all about it. Because old lardy-darl Robert, my farts don't stink. Old Bobby Knobhead. Right, can I skip ahead? Who's Bob?

Bobby Knobhead. No, it's... I'll explain it in a minute. Anyway, no-one has seen Beatrice in... We're talking months, John. Months and months. And he keeps saying she's off in Saint-Tropez. Joe made a good point. He said, when has Beatrice ever missed the Shoscombe Festival at Shoscombe Old Place? She runs the bloody thing. Very mysterious. One for lovely Sherlock, maybe. Who knows? Anyway, what was I saying? Bins, woman, bins. Oh, that's it. Joe...

Joe's going to sort the bins. You don't need to worry. Great, sat through that for nothing. Who is this Beatrice? Really, it's just local nonsense, mate, honestly. Why is she missing? No, so, Bobby Norbert... I mean, Robert Norbertson, um...

Lives in Shoscombe Old Place with his sister Beatrice. He thinks he's some fancy bloke now because his sister married rich. And yeah, that's Beatrice. She's very old. She was married to... What's his face? What's his...

Face. Sir James Fowler. And he's gentry, is he? Oh, yeah, gentry, but big, big, well-known racing driver, you know, in the 30s, or maybe the 50s. I don't know. Anyway, he died a while ago. I was still living here when he did. But anyway, the Fowlers own Shoscombe Motors. The cars? The cars, yeah.

Well, you were wrong on both your guesses. Yeah, all right, 1948. He raced throughout the 50s. This is... What's this one? Swedish Grand Prix. There he is there. Look. A Shoscombe Spaniel. Shoscombe Spaniel. That's why the green in Shoscombe is called Spaniel Green.

A lot of people think that the Prince Pub over in New Shosken is named after the Prince of Wales, but it's actually named after the Shosken Prince, which is a card that, um... Look at this. If I can find it on YouTube... Er... Here. Here. Who's this fellow? That's James Bond. Right. And who's that woman in the bikini?

I daren't say her name because this is a family show. I thought we weren't releasing any episodes. But look, look what car he gets into. Well, it has a throbbing engine and goes like thunder. So does the car. Oh, James. A Shoskem. That is a Shoskem Prince. Look at it, mate. Beautiful. Stunning. I mean, it's like some...

It looks like it's almost been pulled out of the earth, like it's been formed into that shape over thousands of years or something. Just...

They don't make cars like that anymore. I mean, literally, they don't make that car anymore. So what became of the Forders? Well, Sir James married Beatrice. I don't know where... She's always been around in the area. And her brother, Bobby Norbert, he's car mad. So when James died, he moved himself in. To Shoscombe Old Place. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, like I say, he's not a big posho or anything. He's just a local guy who now prances around in red trousers, but...

He went to my crappy school. Years before me, obviously. He looks after Beatrice, I think Mum says, but everyone knows he's just in it for the cars and the festival. Which we can go to, if you want to go. To Shoscombe Festival? Yeah, it's good stuff. Good stuff, you know. It's a big manor grounds...

camping fishing food trucks live bands beer tent loads of games I won a penalty shootout competition there when I was 10 got a football sign by nearly the whole Swindon squad and that was a prize was it shut up

So, thoughts? So she's missing? Yeah. I mean this is Carol Watson we're talking about. Take all that with a pinch of salt and half a bottle of Chardonnay. Who alerted her to the disappearance of Beatrice? She mentioned the news coming from Joe. Yeah, Joe. Joe Mason. He's a neighbour. How do you know that? He's tending to Carol's bins. Right, yeah.

Yep. Fancy's mum. Always has. I think we may need to speak to him. Why's that? Because, Watson, I believe the game may very well be afoot. With an hour before boarding, there's only one place to go. The Chase Sapphire Lounge by the club. There, you can recharge before the big adventure.

or enjoy a locally inspired dish. You could recline in a comfy chair to catch up on your favorite show or order a craft cocktail at the bar. Whatever you're in the mood for, find the detail that moves you with curated touches at the Chase Sapphire Lounge by the club. Chase, make more of what's yours. Learn more at chase.com slash sapphirereserve. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. Subject to credit approval.

The football season is back. Join Micah, Alan and me on the Rest is Football for top analysis, outrageous gossip and the inside track on everything going on in the Premier League. I'm going to say if Man City get...

I will, of course, be on Match of the Day.

You're on, Alan, aren't you? I am. And Mike is not. Mike, it's because you're doing Sunday, aren't you? Yeah, Super Sunday. What's happening? I thought you were on with us. I can't work Saturday, Sunday. What? Two days working. I've been knackered. It's evil, right? I can't do both days. What am I listening to here? I can't do Saturday and Sunday. See you

room with you two idiots for 12 hours doing matching head of wobble will you your code work Saturdays and Sundays no wonder his career petered out the rest is football listen on Spotify Apple or wherever you get your podcasts or watches on YouTube

Right, so Joe's a bit weird. He's obsessed with the Beatles. The entire species? Or particular sub-orders? THE Beatles. The band. Just try not to get him on the subject otherwise he'll never shut up. Why does he have porcelain octopuses in his garden? Because he's weird. Just not remotely their habitat. Octopus's garden... A lot of people think that just Ringo wrote Octopus's Garden but George Harrison worked on it with him. It's probably because John and Paul dismissed not only Ringo's tracks but George's and all.

Sorry, what? Hey, Joe. John bloody hell. Hello. How are you doing? Oh, your mum says you got beat up in Ukraine. Blown up. I got blown up.

In Ukraine? No. Yeah. Same thing happened to Pete West. You're kidding me. Nope. You know he won so bouncy castle hires up in Ufka? Yeah. Well, Charlie Martin's lad, big fat kid he is, he jumped on his Godzilla one, the big inflatable, well, Godzilla, with the tail and all that, yeah. It caused a rupture in the fabric, right? Bang! Blew up in his face. Went to Great Western Hospital with a broke nose. All blood on his face and that. I mean, you know what it's like. Yeah, yeah. The

Hiya, I'm Joe. Yeah, sorry, God, sorry, Joe. This is Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes. This is Joe Mason. Good to meet you, Joe. Where's Gary Liddiker then, eh? Who? Yeah, no, goal hanger. Yeah, he's not with us today. Just work for him. This one dragged you down to Wiltshire then, has he? Indeed. A few issues with the trains, so we've been here, there and everywhere. Here, there and everywhere. Revolver album, 1966.

Yep. Mind if we come in? Mind it? I'd love it. Of course, yeah. Come on in. When did your mum head off on her holidays? Yesterday. Yesterday. All my troubles seem so far away. Who are these gentlemen? Just stop touching stuff. It's like...

Some sort of shrine. Stop. We need to make this brief. Look at the details. Get out. Hello, goodbye. You say goodbye, and I'll say hello. Hello, hello. Yeah, listen, Joe. Magical Mystery Tour 1967. John didn't actually like that song. He preferred I Am The Walrus. Wanted that to be the A-side. You did what, John? It's different, John. Hey, Joe, we wanted to ask you, actually, a few questions about Shuscombe Old Place. Oh, yeah. You still work there, don't you?

Yes, mate. Only had today off in the past three weeks. Can you believe that? Festival kicks off tomorrow, doesn't it? Yeah, of course. Of course. We're actually thinking of going along. You gotta. Yeah, I'll get you free tickets. Oh, lovely. Just ask as you come in. I'll put your name on a thing. Oh, great. And they'll just let us in? Of course.

Course, mate. If they don't, you'll have to pay the old 50 quid on entry. Rip off that, innit? Blimey. Well, don't let me down. Don't let me down. B-site. Get back. Recorded same day, in fact. 28th of January, 1969. Joe, Mum was saying that Beatrice Folder hasn't been seen in some time. Is that right? Yeah, don't we hear it from her. It comes through Bobby Knobhead. Sorry, just, we might be, um... You know, we're in the true crime documentary game and we might be recording this particular case, so if we could just call him by his actual...

Oh, of course, yeah. Just young people listening to the show and everything. Robert himself might eventually hear it. No, no, of course, of course. No, no, no, I get it. Robert Norbertson, I should be saying, not Bobby Knobber. Beatrice's brother, that is, obviously. I mean, you know that, don't you? Yeah, he tells us, doesn't he, that she's gone off to Saint-Tropez. And I thought, yeah, I don't blame your love, really. Miserable weather, wasn't it? The rain and the waffle, yeah. Very rainy.

Yes. So she swans off, doesn't she? She's got the money, obviously, why not? But then May comes around and we're still asking about her, right? Because she ain't well, John, she ain't been well for... She wasn't well even when I was still here. Yeah, exactly, I mean, bloody ages ago anyway. Bobby Norbert, excuse me, Robert Norbertson, he says, oh no, she's staying out there a bit longer now, right?

So I spoke to Jill Pring, who works with Kev Dunn at the Green Dragon. And you know BFG who runs it? Yeah. Who's BFG? Big Fat George runs the Green Dragon. That's not very kind. Oh, he's ever so thin now, John. You want to see him. He got a tapeworm back in 2019. Looks incredible. Anyway, he's got Beardy's dog now. Why?

He told Jill, who told Kev, who told me that Robert Norbertson gave it away. He gave Beatrice's dog away to this man? Yeah, correct. Did she have any animosity towards the creature? They were inseparable. She loved that dog. Loved it. I hated it personally. Whiny little twat was Jasper. But she fought the world off. Whiny, you say?

Interesting. Continue with Beatrice Foulders' Santa Pea excursion. Of course, yeah. She's off sunning herself and she don't come back. And we're proper close to Shostakum Festival now, aren't we? All on our manor grounds and she loves it as well, don't she, John? Yeah, she was always around. Always around in what sense? Well, when we go as kids and teenagers, she kind of ran the thing.

thing, didn't you? Just a bloody bit, John. They trough all the cars on that one. They'd have all these people coming just for the cars alone. From all over as well. Yeah, all over Wiltshire and some of Batshire. Yeah, but all over the world. Oh, loads of foreigners. Loads of them. American, Saudi. What's the other loaded ones? Er, Dubai? No, other one. Er, World Cup. Qatar. Qataris, they love it. Have the Foulder family considered selling the cars? Them cars? Oof.

Big decision. Why? Them cars, mate, right? You've got 12 Shostakum Spaniels left in the world. Picture that, right? Twelve of them. Guess how many we've got? Eight. We've got eight of them. The Shostakum Prince of Bond car, right? There's two of them in the world. One of them in California, one here. People go mad for those things, mate. They go absolutely potty. They must be worth millions. Millions and millions, mate. But Beatrice loves them as well as James did.

And bloody Robert, he's been a petrolhead since he was little. And his dad used to work on the trains. He loved all that. Amazing cars. Amazing history. Oh, amazing. Obviously, mate. But your mate here is right. They love them. But apparently, now, they're flogging them. What? Auction. On the final day of the festival. Going to be on ITV. They've got a big gold London fella with the hammer. What's it? The auctioneer asset. It's a whole thing, John.

She's selling the cars? Well, you say she, where the heck is she, John? You know, it don't add up. She'd drive her Shostakham Spaniel every day, wouldn't she? Across Buckton Lane. Buckton Lane? Buckton Lane? What one's that? The one that goes through our grounds. Oh, the long and winding road. Long and winding road. Beatles' last number one hit in the US, that one. Joe. But you know, it's a funny thing, right? Because before she left,

She dried the spaniel. But it's like, I don't know, it's like she'd never done it before, John. Right? She's cranking through the gears and spluttering along like no one's business. Weird. Did anyone manage to speak to her at that time? No, she wouldn't stop for anybody. This was a thing. If anyone got close, she'd speed away in the car, as best she bloody could. Do you know of any way we could contact Beatrice? She's an 86-year-old woman in Saint-Tropez, John. I ain't got a Scooby, mate. And she doesn't have a phone?

She might, but who's got her number, you know? I ain't. You could call Carrie. Carrie? Phone box there. Actually, it's a defibrillator now. Then you've got the church there. Not real church bells, just a speaker in the spire that bongs out every hour. What else? Big war memorials. Very army, RAF kind of area. Hence Royal Wooten Basset. Not given royal status because they do the tributes and funeral processions. Repatriations for the deceased in...

Afghanistan and Iraq. Managed to not be paraded through these streets myself. So... And there's a bench. Excellent bench. Yeah, and it's a gun. Carved my name in it somewhere. This bit here. There it is. Jay Watts.

Watts... Jay Watts. Well, I can't put my full name, can I? I'd get caught. I really hope that with the clues of a teenager living opposite the bench who goes by the name Jay Watts' son, you'd be caught. Yeah. Yeah. You don't realise a place is run down when you live in it, do you? Not when you take someone else here. We can avoid meeting her, if you wish. What? Carrie. Carrie?

We have plenty of other cards in our hand. We don't need to play this one, not until it's required, anyway. What are you talking about? Oh, nothing. Just... I'd rather peer down other avenues. Carrie's Beatrice's carer, Sherlock. She could give us some information. Yes, but at what cost? Oh, no. Sorry, Watson. What have you deduced? Oh...

Just a little thing. How? Your tattoo removal is rather shoddy.

I know you think it looks like Roman numerals covering up the original name, but on close inspection... Oh, and you've done close inspection, have you? Once or twice. Sake. Like I say, we have other cards in our hand. I've come a long way, OK? It's only 90 miles to London. No, emotionally. Emotionally, I've come a long way. I'm sure Carrie has as well. You don't have to put off questioning her because of some stupid history. I can face it. I can hack it.

I'm a big boy, okay? Would you like me to call? Er, yeah, please. Could I see her number? 075416623211. See? You can store numbers in your head as well. Yeah, a little bit too much carry stored up there, to be honest. Hmm. It's quite unlikely she will answer a number she doesn't recognise. Shit, yeah. Erm, hang up. Use my phone. Okie dokie.

What's wrong? Nothing. Just... probably poor signal in this village. I'll try... I'm blocked, aren't I? Yes you are. Yes. Great. Great. Yeah, John Watson. Should be two tickets. Joe Mason sorted us out? Yes. Here you go, John. You're in the glamping pods. Alright. Oh, hello. Glamping.

Lovely, thank you. Enjoy yourself chaps. You hear that Archie boy? Glamping. Glamping. Glamping. Glamorous camping, so probably some sort of yurt or teepee. Wow, this brings back a lot of memories. It's quite beautiful. Yeah, it's quite the property. Indeed. Smoke? No, you can smoke later. No, the chimneys of the house. Smoke. Oh yeah, and here's me lathered in sun cream. Mmm.

Amazing house, isn't it? And the fields and forests. Oh, come this way. Come see this. We'll camp a bit further up there, but yeah. Do you recognise this guy? The river? Yeah. Oh, steady, Archie. The Thames. Yes. Yeah, there he is. The River Thames. Quite small over this way. Not the guy we recognise from London. A lot cleaner than the London part of him anyway. Remarkable thing. Yeah. To see this trickle through the countryside.

knowing what he'll eventually become. Journey, growth and finally lost to much deeper complex waters unrecognisable in the homogeny. Or swallowed by a bulldog. Or that, of course. Come on, let's find the glamping. Think it's on the river according to this. Come on, boy. Hello there. Thanks for joining us both at Shoscombe Festival.

Can you hear that in the background? A little folk band up on the stage in the distance. That's towards the house. So we're in the Shoscombe Valley. Not particularly steep for a valley. Very lush, green rolling hills getting their last bit of sunshine as it sets just behind me in the west. Got some woodland about, what, maybe 300 yards to my right. To my left I can make out the master detective and his fishing rod.

I think it's safe to say we are finally making a bit of a holiday out of this. Got a beer on the go from the big booze tent, a local one, very nice. Apparently what makes it glamping is not a fancy structure or anything, it's just a standard tent, but they give us glampers a little stone barbecue, so I'm tending to that now with a fish we caught on it. That's a lie, it's sausages, haven't caught any fish. And Archie is right here next to me because, let's face it, I'm in charge of the pork that is sizzling away in front of him.

It is bloody lovely. There is no other way to put it. Bliss. Cheers. What is it? There's someone outside the tent. What? Now, go, go. Someone pissed up me. They're running to the woods. This way. Archie! Archie! Oh, God. I see them. I see them. Come back here. Phone light. Phone light. Bloody hell. Watson, shine it into the forest. Into the forest. Yeah, I know. I know.

Shit, where have they gone? They're hiding. I think it's best you come out and explain what you wanted with our belongings. Hello? We're not going to have a go. We're just here to investigate a few things, that's all. Hello? Oh shit, Archie's gone. Archie! Archie! He's with her. Archie! He ran to his owner. What are you talking about? He's my dog. Yes, but he was hers. Come on out.

Carrie. What? Sherlock, what are you talking about? What are you doing? Making a call. To who? Archie, this way! 207541 6623211 Oh, Jesus. Look, mate, it's not... To binge this adventure in full and without ads, go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. MUSIC

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